From c40c57fa561d4e96c79e557bd836213c06a92e96 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: IRC-Simple on local Date: Fri, 13 Oct 2023 16:38:03 -0700 Subject: [PATCH] Evaluated cache put irc chanlist [list lologram @Taiji_Quan_Millz Darlie TheEagleOfGaza @BSD_Necromancer a big_naturals_lover Shaniqua @X11_Necromancer InternationalDayOfJihad Shan1qua] --- vars/65f4db31e0536a2e56b7d1f8b1fc252dda9b13bc | 7138 +---------------- vars/6c62f30003a5f83c896f627f060c485077518f49 | 2 +- vars/c65dc3b9a9ee26e276481edcf644e947ead0fe70 | 2 +- vars/dafd501364a86c854d670b1bde5cfd038f54fdd6 | 2 +- vars/e97835b3a067082c6d0565365bcbe73b157b98a2 | 2 +- 5 files changed, 5 insertions(+), 7141 deletions(-) diff --git a/vars/65f4db31e0536a2e56b7d1f8b1fc252dda9b13bc b/vars/65f4db31e0536a2e56b7d1f8b1fc252dda9b13bc index 82b1ada..51776b6 100644 --- a/vars/65f4db31e0536a2e56b7d1f8b1fc252dda9b13bc +++ b/vars/65f4db31e0536a2e56b7d1f8b1fc252dda9b13bc @@ -1,7137 +1 @@ -scalar {{What an evasive answer. I want to know if you have been the parent of a -child who has been terminally or chronically ill. That is a yes or no -answer. What is subjective about that? Do you have kids or not? Did you -have sick siblings as a child or not? If you answer with "I've pretty much -been...." then you are a coward and a pretentious idiot-fuck. Answer the -fucking question. I find your answer pretty condescending to the Robbins's -situation, and it really struck me raw. If you can't empathize, you can't. -Just say that it sounds terrible. Don't say that you have "a pretty good -idea" and that it is "subjective." Would you tell J. that you know how it -is? - -You didn't reflect at all with sympathy; you directed the attention back to -yourself. I'm just curious if you are pathological or if you have a story. -% -That's why when I was wrestling half my training regimen was spent -strengthening my sphincter muscles. One of the better excercises was -sticking a roll of quarters up my ass, then I would slowly and deliberately -push it back out. I got so good at this the guys would hand me a dollar -after practice, asking for change for the soda machine. The first time this -was meant to be a joke but when my muscles became so refined that I could -give the change to them one quarter at a time, the joke was on them. - -The end result was that I became strong enough to lock-in my opponents -finger(s) when he tried to check my oil, thereby incapacitating half of his -mobility and strength. I can't tell you how many reversal points I scored -off this, but it was worth at least two every match. -% -I was at the mall today buying some yugioh cards (tryin' to complete my CDIP -set) & this kid standing next to me in line at the game shop says "Man, that -yugiHO s**t is homo, you shouldn't be wasting your faggot cash on some lame -fucking s**t crap like that. Fuckin' cocksucker." I turned around, saw no -one, then peered down at a child who looked about 10 years old holding many -packs of Pokemon Unseen Forces. - -I then got into a debate (for what seemed like 30 minutes or so) on the -superiority of Yugioh to poke'mon. And at the end he just called me a "fag" -and proceeded to punch my in the stomach. I finally crawled on my bruised -stomach to a nearby mall cop, and pointed to that snot nosed brat, last I -saw of him he was on the mall cops shoulder cying for his mother. Ha...kids.. -% -i'm sick and tired of people thinking being ugly is just "how god made -you"!!! Here's two prime examples of how this statement is false, please -feel free to add yer own. :P - -How one gets fat: - - eating WAY too fucking much - -[or] - - they are genetically HUGE [lol only in very few cases] - ->>Conclusion: lol, fat=no self control to stop fucking eating; no self -control=not very attractive; fat=not pretty. - -How one gets acne: - - oily icky gross dirty skin that isn't washed and has dead skin -clogging pores - -[or] - - genetically gross [lol, in some cases, yet they can be 'fixed' so -it's still no excuse] - ->>>Conclusion: lol, wash yur fucking face! acne=no self responsibity to wash -yur fucking face!; no responsibility=lol not very attractive; acne=not pretty -THUS, /end rant, but yes, people who don't have the self control to be at a -reasonable weight are icky icky gross, and dirty people ho don't wash, lol -ew, yea, gross. -% -Anime isn't just a bunch of cheap American ripoffs of cartoons, it's art. -Next time you American sheeple are watching your simpsons or south park or -whatever mindless American cartoons that have plots, storylines and comedy, -I'll be Admiring the wonderful and superior art of Chinese cartoons. -% -oh and to people who are worried about games looking childish its usually a -good indication that your a just a kid who thinks he's grown up cause he can -shoot hookers in GTA -% -There is very little of value in blogging. There are some real journalists -who have an online newsletter, and real writers who post articles -independently -- that they happen to be classified as blogs flatters the -sycophantic self-indulgent blogosphere at large. Imagine if you serialized -your blog and emailed all your friends with it every time you updated it? -If they wouldn't welcome such a diary, don't bother with your blog. The -people who care are the people no one cares about. -% -The problem is all bloggers have a following -- other bloggers. Should we -allow every member of NAMBLA his own page on Wikipedia because he has a few -dozen acquaintances at NAMBLA? No. Nearly all bloggers who are nothing but -should be eliminated from Wikipedia. Published journalists and legitimate -authors who happened to be classified as "bloggers" are welcome, of course. -% -I'm not trying to brag or anything, but yeah, I smoke weed. I don't give a -damn what anyone says regarding marijuana laws. Go ahead, trace my ip. Tell -the cops where I live, I should be able to put whatever i want in my body, -may it be marijuana, a 10 year olds childs semi erect penis, or cocaine. The -government doesn't have any right telling us what is "ok" to consume. -% -I asked my friend for a sip of his pepsi and he gave me the can. Afterward -he accused me of 'nigger lipping' his pepsi and refused to take it back. In -a rage, I filed a hate crime report with the NYPD and had his racist ass -hauled off to juvee where I'm sure disgusting faggots are anally violating -him even as I type these words. I abhor bigots. -% -Oh great another holiday for christians to force their believes on me. -Christmas is just another day for us atheists, i'll be listening to atheist -radio and maybe watch a little tv. I'll let the brainwashed Christians have -"cheer and good fun". -% -Once, when i was changing my little brother's diaper, i jacked him off. I -don't know what drove me to do it, but I did. now i can't stop thinking -about his little penis. I think i want him to grow up and fuck me. -% -How could Sony betray me like this?!? I waited in line for three -months--yes, I started the very first line for the PS3 way before anyone -else. I endured the elements, the snide comments, and unemployment (I was -fired from my job after the first week) because I wanted to be the very -first person to play what I imagined would be the salvation to all my -dearest dreams. Rumor had it that playing a videogame on the PS3 would be -like injecting heroin directly into your eyeball. I believed the hype and -worshipped Sony as my god. - -Finally, with nearly every credit card maxed out and two debt consolidation -plans under my belt, the great day arrived and I fought my way into the -store to get my hands on this wonder console. Leaving the store I did a -little victory dance and then drove up and down the parking lot taunting -those who did not get a PS3. Then it was off to home to play this little -beauty. - -I hooked everything up while my wife and children watched and applauded at -my direction. It was time to play the first game! After two hours I noticed -that waves of heat were pouring off the console, so I told my daughter to -hold it up in the air in front of a fan while I continued playing, waiting -for the opiate-like ecstasy that was soon to overwhelm me after I shot to -death another video game enemy. Things went fine for awhile; an hour later -the box began whistling and my daughter complained that it was getting too -hot to hold. I figured this was just what they called "burning in" and -continued playing. - -Then, at the four hour mark, my daughter began complaining of blisters and -within fifteen minutes the entire console burst into flames, the plastic -casing scorching and bubbling as I rushed to complete the level. But I was -too late, and my precious daughter burned to death. Wracked with sadness at -not being able to save my game, I immediately called my lawyer to review my -options for a massive lawsuit. - -I am sure we all expected a few "bugs" and "glitches" and "inconveniences", -but that does not excuse Sony for selling what appears to be a blazing DEATH -TRAP. - -Caveat emptor! -% -Nigger? So you think you are superior not only because you're white! it's -because you read! ha! I didn't know they were people like you in this -website, and I hope you learn more about our people, because I'm very -ofended now. Racism is illegal, you know? if they were enough technologies -to know who is behind that "anonymus", no doubt you would be behind bars -now! Please respect others, even if they don't like reading like you do. -% -I m a hindu religious girl. I don't when i got the habit of masturbation.Now -i feeling guilty.? -I have always wear panty while doing it. use pillow to masturbate.I think -some white discharge is there when i do this.doesn't know whether pillow -became wet or not. I have left this habit when i came to know that it is not -good. my problem is now i think if anybody touches those pillow he or she -will become impure. similar is the with the things whom i used to touch that -time.what to do.I m getting mad. how to solve this issue.I promise not to -masturbate again. I cannot wash them all.Plz HELP AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. mAY -gOD BLESS U ALL -% -a rabbi told me the other day the deffinitive prove to demon's existance. -you have to get a black female cat (daughter of a black cat), kill it and -burn it. put your bed in the middle of your room so that it's not touching -any walls, and then spread the ash in a circle surrounding it. sleep there. -the next day if you're still alive you will see the marks of demon's feet: -they'll look like hen claws. and that's it, I really talked to a rabbi -asking him to prove his wonderful religion and this is the best he could -come with (it is written on the guemara wich is like the torah i think). -% -You can spot a Nintendo 64 game from a mile away. If the textures look like -they were photographed with a cell phone camera, copied to VHS tape, copied -to another VHS tape, imported into the computer and saved as a low quality -JPEG, and then the computer was chucked into a fire, you know you're playing -a Nintendo 64 game. -% -I am sick to death of the ludicrous anti-Nintendo ravings of you pissed-off -geeks. Do you really believe the rest of us don't see right through your -mental pathology? Your entire conosole philosophy boils down to this: "The -cool kids picked on me in high school, and I can't get over it. I hate the -Wii" -% -girl you must be the aeon flux movie because i never wanna see you again -% -IM SO SICK AND TIRED OF CHRISTIANS PUSHING THEIR BELIEFS ON ME, i mean every -year i go to buy something at the store and I see HAPPY HOLLIDAYS and it -pisses me off so muchhh i mean christians are everywhere i mean its like -UHHGGGGG but anyway this year its gonna be different. i just got down -purchasing my ANTI-god pin. im going to every place where they sell -christmas trees and all the "happy" (yeah more like BRAINWASHED) familys -will see my anti-god pin and i will silently protest this stupid holliday -yeah go atheists! -% -Tokyo is a great country. I have been there. Its provinces (shinagawa, -shinjuku, roppongi) are incredibly vast and there is an inter-provincial -high speed train that links them all! The best part is that the train also -allows you to travel to neighboring countries, for example if you wanted to -visit the country of Osaka you could do so because they use the same -currency. Amazing, isn't it? I wish Canada would use the same dollars that -the US does. -% -Now disguised fully as some sort of shabbily dressed derelict, I quickly -made off with my shopping cart and ran full tilt back to the park. With no -hesitation I dug through the trash barrel I'd found earlier, seizing every -last can and bottle from the fetid depths of the garbage. I was almost -deterred when my hand plunged into a soiled diaper, obviously unimproved -from the three days of rain we'd received prior, but I had my eyes on the -prize. I rolled my cart down the paths of the park, past the lemmings of our -society as they strolled idly past jackpot after jackpot, lacking sense and -ambition enough to loot them for their own benefit. Many of them could not -contain their envy, looking at me with disgusted jealousy as I filled my -cart with money. One phenomenon I cannot explain: a Catholic nun handed me a -one dollar bill and told me I could get a free meal at St. Joseph's parish -every Sunday afternoon. I took the cash, obviously, and thanked her for the -tip on the new scam. I figure they must make you sign up for some shit -before you get the free food, and that the nun must get a kickback for every -new signup. Slick setup, but I'll just keep the buck, Sister Sucker! - -When I thought I'd plucked the final gem from this treasure chest, I slowly -paced my way towards the most convenient road out of the park. I passed by a -man drinking from a brown paper bag. I wasn't born yesterday, so I knew that -he had a bottle in it (and probably not Chocolate Yoohoo if you get my -drift). I tried to look very patient and unassuming while I waited for him -to finish his bottle and discard it, so that I might add it to my coffers. -After ten or so minutes he did something shocking and unexpected: he walked -into a nearby Port-A-Potty and took the bottle in with him. Seven minutes -later, exactly, he re-emerged without his bottle. The disgusting truth was -obvious, he had finished his bottle while on the latrine and tossed the -empty down into the hole. I nearly wrote that one off as a loss, but then my -inner puppet spoke once again, chiding me for the sheer Hagginsian nature of -my hesistation. Suffice to say, I was shoulder deep in shit before I even -had time to regret my moment of weakness. Was the resulting bottle of Olde -English 800 Malt Liquor worth the effort? You bet your ass, buddy. - -Alright, so even the faithful are probably getting impatient by now. I'm -sure you want to know what my take was after all that time and effort and -both occassions of having a limb thrust into fecal matter. Let's just say -that Andrew Jackson and I have a dinner date tonight (though I'll only be -needing his vagrant friend Alexander Hamilton once I apply my coupon). On -second thought, Kroger's has On-Cor Salisbury Steaks for 2.50, and I have a -manufacturer's coupon which I attained by lying to their customer care line. -In case you're wondering, saying you found a condom in your chicken parmesan -is only worth a dollar off your next purchase. -% -girl you must be a playground slide because i want to go down on you -repeatedly -% -Honestly, I'd like to hear some commentary from someone who hasn't been -caught trying to suck their own dick. -% -YEAH RIGHT SO I STRAIGHT STABBED SOME PROSTITUTE WITH A FORK. IT AINT NOTHIN -THOUGH NAWMEAN. BITCH ASS JUDGE HIT ME WITH 3 YEARS OF PROBATION AND 80 -HOURS OF COMMUNITY SERVICE. 80 HOURS? NIGGA I BENCHPRESS 80 HOURS. NIGGAS -THINK I AINT GONNA WILD OUT AND FORK SOMEONE ELSE CUZ I'M ON PAROLE SO I'M -JUST LAUGHIN YO. I LAUGH AT THESE ACTORS. FUCKIN P.O THINKING I AINT GON -COME IN HIGH AS SHIT OFF THE TREES JUST BECAUSE I GOT PEE IN A CUP. I DO -THAT AND THROW IT IN A NIGGA'S FACE. PUNK LOOKIN OFFENDED AND SHIT I'M JUST -LIKE DAMN SON, YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO BE COVERED IN MY URINE. FAGGOT -DON'T KNOW WHERE MY DICK'S BEEN. IT AINT NOTHIN TO A G LIKE ME NAWMEAN -% -In the 1960s, a student at Harvard Law School addressed the parents and -alumni with these words: - -The streets of our country are in turmoil. The universities are filled with -students rebelling and rioting. Communists are seeking to destroy our -country. Russia is threatening us with her might. And the republic is in -danger. Yes! danger from within and without. We need law and order! Without -law and order our nation cannot survive. - -There was prolonged applause. When the applause died down, the student -quietly told his listeners: "These word were spoken in 1932 by Adolf Hitler." -% -Hmm, are you implying that people with long hair are gay? That's pretty -hilarious if so, seeing as how most gay people have basic short hair. -% -I am a BIG FAT GAY VAMPIRE in the BOSTON AREA. What I am looking for is -other QUEER VAMPIRES to be GAY with and to DRINK BLOOD out of foofy martini -glasses and maybe to use it as ingredients in a cosmopolitan. OR MAYBE ONE -OF THOSE DRINKS WITH ALL THE UMBRELLAS AND THINGS. Then we will go DISCO -DANCING to HOT DISCO TRACKS and talk about how TOTALLY AWESOME Madonna is. I -guess after doing that we will have to get a PLATE OF NACHOS or something -EQUALLY FATTENING and then stuff them into our BIG FAT GAY FACES. The nachos -should have SOUR CREAM on them because that is the best way to eat them. I -am looking for someone who will let me DRINK THEIR QUEER BLOOD. In addition -to being QUEER you must also be FAT, this is very important. Ideally I would -also get fatter from drinking your STUPID CHUBBY GAY BLOOD. You can drink -mine too but only if I get to wear your GAY UNDERWEAR on my head while you -do. -% -hey gurl what kind of sex locations you into? im all about the dorm -room/hotel room/dark corner/men's bathroom/janitor's closet/parent's -bedroom/kindergarten classroom/bus shelter/deserted corner of the park/arby's -% -While many parents are digging deep and forgoing luxuries in order to buy -their children the newest videogame console, I've decided to build my own -interactive entertainment device for my children. It's a desk with a copy of -the holy bible on it. I call it the "Praystation 3" -% -girl you must be a rodeo bull because i want to ride you for 8 seconds and -then get off -% -Keep at it! I'm sure someday you'll be mentioned in a blog. -% -girl, you must be rearden metal because i'd like to run a train on you. -% -windows genuine advantage, created so geeks have a genuine advantage when it -comes to getting in a womans pants. Masterminded by Bill Gates who wanted -to give something back to the community. He devised a plot which would -force women to speak to lowly geeks world wide -% -shut the fuk up bitch u get a lyf dumass ur a fkn hipacrit u sed to keep -shyt to urself well u didnt do that n ur lyk aw get over it well u fkn get -over it 2 then dont go fkn ritin shyt lyk u sed fkn looza -% -I admit, I love the natural smells of a man. Nothing turns me on more. A -healthy funk in a mans armpit or a working-mans sweaty balls are like -nothing else to me. They are easily more effective than poppers, legal and -dont give me a headache. Speaking of armpits, I dont like deodorant either, -mostly because it tastes so terrible. -% -When I was in 7th grade my Social Studies teacher asked me what my favorite -system of government was. Luckily I was wearing my Anti-Flag tee that day. I -cracked my knuckles and reclined in my desk and replied cooly, "Anarchy." -% -Linux Is your wife, I swear. I stride nude in your computer room ; yet you -dont care. Transfixed with penguins on the screen. This Open Source makes me -scream. Im tossing your computer in the trash. RMS is whose genitals you -tongue lash. Enemy of Our Freedom you say? I dont care. You're just gay. -% -Yes I too fell victim to internet cruelty. Only in my case it was IRC abuse. -To make a long story short I was willing to do anything to get +V and some -'people' took advantage of that. -% -Roll Playing (RP) turns into real life tragedies and Real people get hurt or -die. If you want to RP why not try to Roll Play real life situations such as -how to pay the electric bill, house payment, and car payment, insurance and -so on. Roll Play your parents working hard to give you a better education -and life. -% -Yesterday after coming home from an extremely long, stressful day of work, I -plopped down on the couch to relax for a bit. Laying in front of the TV is -great, but an orgasm would really help me blow off some steam. Lucky for me, -I had recently purchased a rabbit, so I retrieved that from my bedroom, -returned to the couch, and brought up some gay porn on my laptop(side rant-- -will someone please make porn tailored to women?) Just as I was beginning to -get that tingling feeling that happens before I come, I heard the sound of -someone trying to unlock the door to my apartment. WHATTHEFUCKISTHIS!? Shit! -I am naked from the waist down holding a loud-ass vibrator standing in front -of a laptop on which a man is moaning loudly and telling another man how he -wants him to "put it in my ass!" SHIT! WHO THE FUCK IS COMING IN THE DOOR -RIGHT NOW? - -I completely panic. My shaking hands try desperately to turn the vibrator -off, but in my excited state I completely forget how to do it..there are so -many buttons!! why did I buy the fancy model??? I rip the batteries out of -the stupid thing after fumbling with it and wasting precious seconds. I -throw everything in the closet of my bedroom, close the door, and start to -look for some pants. Then I remember that gay porn is still being played -loudly on my couch. FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! I could hear the sound of the second -lock unlocking. I dash back into the livingroom and try with my again -shaking hands to at least turn the volume down. The door is opening at this -point so I snatch the laptop and scurry half-nakedly back to my bedroom -while depressing the volume button. Unfortuately, I hit the wrong side of -the volume button and deafeningly loud moans are now emanating from my -bedroom--gay men moans. Shit! People are in my living room now. I yell "ONE -MOMENT!!!!" as loud as I can, trying to try to drown the sounds of Brad -getting slammed in the ass. In a complete state of terror I make the unwise -decision of throwing the laptop as far under my bed as I can, hoping that -the boxspring and mattress would be enough to muffle the sound of my laptop -at full volume. Sadly, it was not. People are milling about in the apartment -now, so I grab some shorts from my bureau and emerge from my bedroom to -greet the realtor and prospective new tenants in a dress shirt and shorts, -flushed, and visibly shaken. I introduce myself over the sounds of an -apparent orgy in my bedroom to a profusely apologizing realtor and a -smirking couple. I summoned as much dignity as I could, smiled devilishly, -and returned to the fake orgy in my bedroom as they showed themselves out. -% -I like to put excessively large ammounts of Vaseline on my cock and fuck -empty toilet paper rolls. I think my parents are starting to notice that -we're running out of Vaseline every 4 days or so. -% -One time I was performing anal sex on my best friends dog like I always did -on the weekends, but this most recent time I must of thrusted too hard and I -think I damaged the internals of the labrador. It then got a horrible hernia -and soon died after my friend was attempting to coax it back to life. It -felt great. -% -i just took a shit and my toilet didn't really flush, i got pretty -frustrated and now im going to masturbate to internet porn galleries. Good -day to you. -% -I bought this book to teach my child about her body, and I was excited about -the opportunity to bond with her in this fashion. However, little did I know -about all of the pictures of nude women in this book. The almost 'erotic' -quality of these photos were not for children! Then when we got to the parts -that involved naked men, I shut the book. She didn't need to see those -pictures. Later, when she was asleep - I looked at the book alone and found -unbelievable pictures of naked men and women performing the strangest acts -on each other with pieces of fruit and a vacuum cleaner! What is my child -going to learn from this? How to be a Kuma Sutra expert? No, thanks. She -gets plenty of that from her father. -% -you walk in( the door will be open for you) you come to my bedrom where porn -will be playing.......you begin to suck this big black dick...no damn small -talk...just walk in and start sucking........i cum on your face and then you -can leave or then when can have small talk.....be ready.....i dont want a -lot of emails back and forth..just let me know if your ready for a -address..... -% -gurl what design patterns u into? i'm into: bridge / command / interpreter -/ prototype / flyweight / strategy / builder / abstract factory / proxy / -facade / composite / chain of responsibility / decorator / adapter / factory -method / observer / memento / template method / visitor / iterator / -mediator / state / singleton -% -i keep baking fucking cakes. this pink wig tart keeps me up nights and -since i can't jack off any more since the operation i just keep fucking -making cakes. everyone at the office thinks that i'm some sort of faggot -becuase i bring in cakes every day. they're all fat forty-five year old -tits-sagging-to-the-floor soccer moms and if they knew that cake-baking was -my masturbatory substitute they probably wouldn't even eat them. probably -also if they knew i pissed in the cake mix. -% -did you guys hear on the news? usually i don't watch the news, i just heard -my friend's brother freaking out about it. it's on right now. North Korea -shot a three missiles at Japan, but MISSED!! XD what would happen if they -didn't miss?? one of them was aimed for America, too. It's on Fox News right -now. THey're talking about shooting back at Korea. STUPID KOREA! dude, -manhwa vs manga. XD awesome. -what if they actually didn't miss?? what would happen to everyone's favorite -mangas and animes. i pray to God this isn't the end of humanity. Wait, i -don't care if humanity ends. Humanity sucks. I just don't want JAPAN TO END! -or the world. i haven't even had a chance to glomp Inuyasha. I DON'T HAVE -PROBLEMS!!!! :ninja: -% -The first step is to heat 3 or 4 hot dogs to body temperature. Don't make -them too hot or it won't work -- about 30 seconds will do. When they're -done, stick all the hot dogs into a condom. Lube your penis and slide it -into the middle of the hot dogs, so they're surrounding your penis. Then -pump the entire package. And don't worry, the condom won't break. -% -Hey /b/, I have a very serious problem. I'm fucking crying because of how -stupid I am. - -Okay, so my girlfriend was supposed to come over to my house today because I -was going to go take her to a movie. She lives about 20 minutes away, and -the movie we were supposed to see started at 4:15, which was in about 40 -minutes. I figured "cool, I'll just play Pokemon while I wait". - -So I'm playing Pokemon, and having a pretty damn good time. Anyway, she -finally does show up, except she's crying as she walks into my room. Instead -of doing the right thing by comforting her, I half-focus on my game and her. -She starts telling me her cat died, and just as she was getting into it, I -get into a random encounter in my game. - -A shiny pidgey. Holy shit. (For those of you who don't know/care, shiny -pokemon have less than a 1/1000 chance of appearing). I stare into my screen -in amazement, yelling "holy shit, YES", interrupting her mid-story. She sobs -more, and she starts to yell "You don't even fucking care! YOU JUST WANT TO -PLAY YOUR FUCKING GAME!" I'm still looking at my screen, still focusing on -catching my shiny pidgey, when she walks over, and tosses the game against -the wall. I run over and pick up my DS hoping that nothing has changed on -screen, and quickly noticed that she broke it. My system and my shiny -pidgey, gone forever. - -I start screaming every obsenity I know, and started flailing my arms -around. I didn't know she was behind me, and appearantly I backhanded her in -the face while I was being a dumbass and swinging my fists around. She yells -out "FUCK YOU", and runs out of my house in tears. - -What have I done? I've fucked up so badly, and I need to know how to -approach her. I don't want a game of Pokemon to be respoinsible for ruining -my best relationship ever. Help me /b/. -% -Over the years, the bathrooms at the Church have fallen into ill repair and -we decided to completely replace them with more conveniently located -bathrooms across the Church. To make a use for our old bathrooms, I've -decided to convert them into novel "Glory holes", where children may -celebrate the Glory of God by speaking to a priest or other spiritual -advisor through a hole in the wall. -% -Well, it finally happened. Women got as horny as us. All it took was five -years of dry humping in high school, one or two boyfriends in college, a -failed career, three giant kids, and a divorce. Now they?re so horny they?re -willing to pay for it. Nice timing, God. -% -FUBU BIG CHAINZ DUBZ $BLING$ $BLING$ FUCK DA 5-0 BITCHES BLUNTS 40Z KICIKIN -IT BLUNTED JARNELL BABY MAMMA CHILD SUPPORT CHICKEN AN WATERMELON KOOL AID -DA RED KIND FOOD STAMPS WESTSIDE $$CASH MONIES$$ DRIVE BY RYDE OR DIE NIGGA -RUFF RYDA 4 LYFE PHAT ICE PHAT BLUNT DENZEL WASHINGTON ROCAWEAR ICE BLING -BLING 5-0 187 MURDA MURDA FOOD STAMPS BLUNTS PAPERZ BLAZED WELFARE CHITLINS -GRITS KOOL AID HOLLA BACK FUCK DA POLICE ROLLIN IN DA BENZ-O -% -Sometims when I feel an unusually large bowel movement coming soon, I'll -weigh myself before and after to determine the magnitude of the feces I'm -shedding -% -I like fucking pregnant women. If they�re having a boy it ain�t fun, but if -they have a girl then it�s two pussies for the price of one. -% -I have put you on a permanent ignore, public and private. I have found you -disturbing, rude and generally not worth talking to. According to the -channels you hang on, it strengtens the effect of wanting to put you on -ignore because of my lack of interest in you as a person. This message is -not meant to be rude to you, just to inform you that i won't see anything of -what you type from now on. -% -one time i found a bum passed out. i thought it would be one hell of a gag -to take him and put him in my roomates bed with him so i did. he woke up to -the shock of a naked bum and couldnt stand the thought of what might have -happend that night. he then killed himself before i could enjoy my little -practical joke -% -She's so fucking cute and sweet. I'd treat her to some fancy restaurant, -then take a long romantic walk with her, holding hands and talking about -philosophy, art and dreams. Then I'd invite her to my home and ravage her -hot ass for hours, and forcing my cock down her throat so she choked on both -the throbbing cock and her own rectal juice. I'd then proceed to cum on her -cute innocent face. Then, as the ultimate love gift, I'd carry her in my -arms to the tub and let my piss wash away the semen and last dignity from -her. I'd whisper "I love you" and give her a tender smile, and cut her -throat from ear to ear with a knife. Covered in her own warm blood, she'd -look straight into my very soul, forgiving, understanding. A bubble from -blood and saliva would burst between her lips, then she'd die. After some -additional lovemaking, I'd stuff her in a bin bag. Three Weeks later, some -playing children will find her mutilated and desecrated body in the forest. -They will be scarred for life. -% -I thought gmail was, like, gangsta mail. I signed up expecting to get g'd up -with bitches, gangstas and guns but it's just an email service. -% -hey girl, what kind of religions you into, i\;m all about Judaism, -Contemporary divisions, Rabbinic Judaism, Orthodox Judaism, Modern Orthodox -Judaism, Haredi Judaism, Hassidic Judaism, Conservative Judaism (Masorti), -Reform Judaism, Reconstructionist Judaism, Humanistic Judaism, Karaite -Judaism, Historical groups, Hasmoneans, Essenes, Pharisees, Sadducees, -Zealots, Sicarii, Ebionites, Elkasites, Nazarenes, Crypto-Jews, Marranos, -Conversos, Christianity, Eastern Orthodoxy, Roman Catholicism, Oriental -Orthodoxy, Monophysitism, Nestorianism, Arianists, Arian Catholicism, -Unitarians, Protestantism, High Protestantism, Lutherans, Anglicans, -Calvinist sects, Reformed, Presbyterian, Low Protestantism, Methodists, -Baptists, Radical Low Protestantism, Anabaptists, Mennonites, Amish, -Religious Society of Friends, Evangelicalism, Pentecostals, Apostolic -Churches, Unitarians, Waldensians, Latter-day Saints, Church of Jesus Christ -of Latter-day Saints, Community of Christ, Fundamentalist Church of Jesus -Christ of Latter Day Saints, Seventh-day Adventist, Jehovah's Witnesses, -Mama Tata, Messianic Judaism, Islam, Kharijites, Shiite, Alawites, Ismailis, -Jafari, Zaiddiyah, Ghulat including, Alevi / Bektashi, Ahl-e Haqq, Yazidi, -Druze, Ahmadi, Sunni, Berailvi, Deobandi, Hanafi, Hanbali, Maliki, -Mu'tazili, Shafi'i, Wahhabi, Sufism, Naqshbandi, Bektashi, Chishti, Mevlevi, -Tijani, Zikri, Mandaeanists, Hinduism, Agama Hindu Dharma, Shaivism, -Shaktism, Smartism, Vaishnavism, Lingayatism, Gaudiya Vaishnavism, ISKCON -(Hare Krishna), Sri Krishna Chaitanya Mission, Samkhya, Nyaya, Vaisheshika, -Purva mimamsa, Vedanta (Uttar Mimamsa), Dvaita Vedanta, Advaita Vedanta, -Integral Yoga, Yoga, Ashtanga Yoga, Hatha yoga, Siddha Yoga, Tantric Yoga, -Ayyavazhi, Shramana Religions, Buddhism, Mahayana, Nikaya schools, -Theravada, Vajrayana, Jainism, Digambara, Shvetambara, Panth Religions, -Sikhism, Nirankari, Kabir Panth, Dadu Panth, Zoroastrianism, Magus, -Gnosticism, Basilidians, Bogomils, Borborites, Cainites, Carpocratians, -Cathars, Marcionism, Ophites, Valentinians, Hermeticism, Vaishnavism, -African religions, Akamba mythology, Akan mythology, Ashanti mythology, -Bushongo mythology, Bwiti, Dahomey mythology, Dinka mythology, Efik -mythology, Egyptian mythology, Ibo mythology, Isoko mythology, Khoikhoi -mythology, Lotuko mythology, Lugbara mythology, Pygmy mythology, Tumbuka -mythology, Yoruba mythology, Zulu mythology, African diaspora religions, -Kumina, Obeah, Santería (Lukumi), Vodou, Candomblé, Macumba, Umbanda and -Quimbanda, Xango, Anglo-Saxon mythology, Basque mythology, Druidry (Celtic -Religion), Finnish mythology, Germanic paganism, Norse mythology, Greek -religion, Greek mythology, Mystery religions, Eleusinian Mysteries, -Mithraism, Pythagoreanism, Roman religion, Roman mythology, Slavic -mythology, Babylonian mythology, Chaldean mythology, Sumerian mythology, -Chinese mythology, Shinto, Oomoto, Tengriism, Yezidis, Abenaki mythology, -Aztec mythology, Blackfoot mythology, Chippewa mythology, Creek mythology, -Crow mythology, Guarani mythology, Haida mythology, Ho-Chunk mythology, -Huron mythology, Inuit mythology, Iroquois mythology, Kwakiutl mythology, -Lakota mythology, Lenape mythology, Navaho mythology, Nootka mythology, -Pawnee mythology, Salish mythology, Selk'nam religion, Seneca mythology, -Tsimshian mythology, Ute mythology, Zuni mythology, Australian Aboriginal -mythology, Balinese mythology, Maori mythology, Modekngei (Republic of -Palau), Nauruan indigenous religion, Polynesian mythology, Church of All -Worlds, Dievturiba, Germanic neopaganism, Heathenry, Odinism, Theodism, -Wotanism, Judeo-Paganism, Maausk, Neo-druidism, Summum, Taarausk, Wicca, -Alexandrian Wicca, Dianic Wicca (Feminist Wicca), Gardnerian Wicca, Faery -Wicca, Feri Tradition, Carvaka, Confucianism, Deism, Ethical Culture, -Fellowship of Reason, Spiritual Humanism, Mohism, Taoism, Dragon Rouge, -Satanism, LaVeyan Satanism, Church of Satan, Order of Nine Angles, -Setianism, Temple of Set, The Storm, Quimbanda, Luciferianism, Syncretic -religions, Cao Dai, Falun Dafa, Huna, Konkokyo, Manichaeism, Unitarian -Universalism, Universal Life Church, Tenrikyo, Theosophy, Seicho-No-Ie, -Burkhanism, Cargo cults, Ghost Dance, Native American Church, Rastafari -movement, Umbanda, Candomble, Pastafarianism, Church of Emacs, Polytheism, -Mysticism, Atheism, you know -% -The relationship between gamer and game is much unlike the relationship -between needle and record-groove (that is to say, the needle loves the -record groove and vice-versa, so says Tamio Okuda); the game has to love the -player even when the player hates the game. -% -im from louisiana.drank killed my boyfriend sippin isnt for everyone so be -careful -% -LAWL I ONCE HEARD AN AOL COMMERCIAL THAT SAID "AOL IS GOOD" AND I LAUGHED MY -ASS OFF AND I LITERALLY PISSED AND SHAT MY PANTS SIMULTANEOUSLY AND THEN I -THREW UP IN MY MOUTH A LITTLE AND IT WAS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER -HEARD OH MY GOD THAT WAS FUNNY -% -one time i invited two of my friends (well, my only two friends) over for -dinner at my apartment. i was in a bad mood that day and while they were in -the living room playing sword quest 4, i masturbated into the milk in the -measuring cup before making the mashed potatoes. all three of us enjoyed the -meal, myself doubly so... in part because i secretly knew my friends now -have my seed in them, and also in part because i ate the mashed potatoes too -and the thought of consuming my own seed makes me want to masturbate into -more food. i fear i am in a vicious cycle at this point. someone help me? -please? -% -DEAR ABBY: I recently met a gorgeous woman I'll call "Giselle." After we had -dated for a couple of months and became physically involved, she told me she -had had gender reassignment surgery and used to be a man! I was, to say the -least, shocked and deeply disturbed. I did not punch out Giselle as I would -have liked to -- which brings me to my question. What is the etiquette -regarding physically confronting someone like that? Is it the same as -hitting a girl? We're roughly the same size. -- DISTRESSED IN VIRGINIA -% -I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who -rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then -questions the manner in which I provide it. -% -Women make up 51 percent of the population, and because of this, Linux -should be banned in government. Operating Systems like Linux discriminate -against women because of a built in difficulty compared with Windows and -Apple's OS X. - -Women pay taxes, and therefore shouldn't be discriminated against in getting -employment with government agencies. If these agencies had used Windows or -OS X, more women would be able to persue dreams of a full time job in -government. Linux is by its nature a man's domain. Women are designed to use -social interaction and emotions to deal with complex tasks, things the -command line are ill suited. - -OS X, and Windows have friendly and female-intuitive designs that take into -account a woman's understanding of objects, ie. folders, desktops, Clippy, -the XP search dog. These help women operate the computer by giving her a -relationship with these icons, and helpful animated pets. It makes a woman -feel at home with her computer by allowing her to relate to it. - -Linux, on the other hand is designed for command line and programming. Sure, -it may have a fugly GUI to hide its true being, but to get any serious work -done you must know a bunch of arcane commands with hundreds of options that -change with every command. Something like this: chmod a+rwx. Only engineers -can understand this. And most engineers are still men. This puts the female -population at a great disadvantage when applying for work. Men know this, -and that's why they deliberately try to install linux in the workplace. - -How would women's groups react when they read the studies that are being -commissioned by industry on this very subject? Surely, women, when they -learn of this, will outvote men and ban linux from the government. -% -I work for a shipping company that deals specifically with the delivery of -animals, mostly lab animals but we get some zoo business. Occasionaly some -of these animals die during shipping, and we do some paperwork and have them -creamated and no one ever misses them. Once I stole a monkey and marked it -as dead and burned on the paperwork. I took it because it was a very large -monkey and I thought it might make a cool pet. After I got tired of taking -care of a huge monkey I shaved it and took it to a prostitute. I told her it -was my deformed younger brother and that I would pay her extra to take his -virginity. It cost me a lot of money but I got her to do it and let me -watch. She was trying to pretend she liked it but she looked sick and -Manny(the monkey) was confused at first but he really started to get into -it. The whole experience makes me sick when I think about it. The fact that -I watched and that I did that to that girl, I wonder if she beleived it was -really my brother or if she just needed more crack. But also when I think -about it I laugh so fucking hard. I shot the monkey and left it in the woods -afterword, I guess Manny died happy. -% -THERE IS NO JUSTIFICAITON FOR ATTACKING SOMEONE. NOT EVEN IF YOU'RE USING A -COMPUTER TO DO IT. BECAUSE YOU'RE STLL HUMAN, AND THE PERSON YOU'RE -ATTACKING IS STILL HUMAN, AND YOU BOTH STILL HAVE MINDS AND FEELINGS. -% -PS3 is shaping out to be a true status symbol for those who are very well -off. I earn a salary reaching 75k per year and that's without my annual -bonus. - -I'll be getting three PS3 systems (two for back up purposes). The games are -rumoured to be locked $89 and upwards for each copy. The software price is -expected to never go down over time ending the practice of consumers waiting -for prices to fall. Each system can not play used, rented, or borrowed games. - -Having said that, this is a dream come true. This is a true fan system for -hardcore gamers only. No longer will I have to suffer being in the company -of pretenders. Finally we'll have a system to be truly proud to say we own. -Just like the Neo Geo, except successful. - -For those poor people who cannot afford the ride, Microsoft and Nintendo -will accomodate your needs. - -For the rest of us that understand that you get what you pay for... I reckon -we're going to be in for a ride of our life. - -Count on it. -% -Yes, Firefox is for people who like one tab to use 75 MB of memory, since -some people like it when apps take advantage of memory installed in their -system instead of having 800 MB sitting there doing dick-all. -% -Look at that little string of text between my screenname and personal pic. -See that? That's living proof that I donated some of my own money to help -get these boards up. Because I love these boards. And you know what you just -did? You just wasted a handful of bandwith and database storage space to -post that uncannily awful waste of an attempt at an insult. In a sense, you -just wasted a fraction of my money. See that it -% -When my parents were tight on cash, I attempted to save money on our water -bill by pissing in the sink, and shitting on paper plates and dumping them -in the field behind our house. -% -My nephew used to work as a waiter in a seafood restaurant. And we all know -how niggers love "skrimps".....well, there was a huge nigger family one day -and they shared meals (typical) as well as ordering water as their drinks. -When they finally finished their meals, my nephew walked over to the huge -mess on the table. They stiffed him on the tip , and lo and behold EMPTY -KOOL-AID PACKETS !!!!! The niggers made their own Kool-Aid with the water -and sugar on the table. I couldn't believe my ears...but then -again............TNB -% -Well, $600 will buy you a fair amount of fish and will feed a bunch of -people once. However, you could also buy a PS3 and SimFishing then invite -all the starving over to have a competitive game and, in the process, teach -them how to fish which is infinitely more valuable. -% -HI! ANY 1 HERE WAN 2 CHAT??I AM 13/F/BRASIL KEKEKEJUZ LOOKIN FOR SUM1 2 TALK -2.NO OLD GUYSDATS GROSS!!!GOT 2 SEND PIX 2 GET PIXNO PRIVATESTHATS GROSS -TOO!PLZ /MSG ME 4 CHATim actually a 52 year old balding port-a-let cleaner -% -Eat shit, you greasy pacifist hippies. I am sick to death of the ludicrous -anti-American ravings of you pissed-off geeks. Do you really believe the -rest of us don't see right through your mental pathology? Your entire -political philosophy boils down to this: "The cool kids picked on me in high -school, and I can't get over it. I hate America" -% -Why cant the indians be like the blacks, coming to america in white-owned -ships to do our work because we're too lazy to do it. Those cheap ass -indians hoofed it across some hippy nature bridge -% -I see what you are trying to do and I advise you to stop at once. You may -think your Mr. Slick and that you have some kind of advantage over me in -this situation but you couldn't be further from the truth. Just because you -got a higher score on the SAT does not mean that you are intellectually -superior to me. I have 3 degrees in physics and biomedical engineering and I -just can�t believe that you try and pull something like this over on me. Now -stop acting like you�re the king shit and remove that cock from my ass -immediately. It�s my turn. -% -I like to give my self paper cuts on the head of my cock. Then have -ferocious sex to feel the burn. Think about your breathing -% -I get off on sticking my dick into house hold appliances. one day i put it -in a blender, i was really drunk. When i woke up in the hospital my forskin -was gone and they had to put in 50+ stiches. Needless to say, i enjoyed it -thoroughly. -% -Why is the idea of laying in the bathtub for an entire day, naked, pissing -and shitting and ejaculating, and being just filthy, seem so appealing? -% -Oh, Brad Pitt? I don't see what's so good about this old dude. He doesn't -have half the charm of what I got. Lol, I know for sure women are attracted -to him because of his material wealth. Look at all these hideous, butt-ugly -rich motha f*ckas and how many women go chasing after them. - -I'm just tired of all the shallow people, I have never met somebody as deep -as me. All my friends and girls I've been with never think like I do. Well, -baby, I got a spiritual, physical, and mental treasure just waiting to be -discovered right here. I'm like a comet in the sky, passing you by, -vanishing like the twilight at night. You've got to hop on the train before -it's too late, it's like the chance of a lifetime. . - -By the way, to whatever asked me why I was on this forum... Let me tell you -this, man. I've come here to learn more about astrophysics not ASStroholes. -Do you feel me? There's no fear as long as your vision is crystal-clear. -% -Also, what�s with posting your own blog to digg? �Hey, I shamlessly -advertise my own ridiculous existance on the intarweb! Please blogroll me -and dl my podcast!� -% -why dont animated gifs come with sound :( -% -i brush my teeth standing up. i also like to pee or shit standing up while -doing so. sometimes i spit backwash on my penis and let it dry. it looks -like that one time i slept over my uncle's house. oh btw i live in the -freshman dorms. room 310. stop by and see me sometime. -% -I am officer David Green, badge no. 1039283 you are in violation of -Intellectual Property and High Technology Technical Amendments Act of 2002, -Division C, Title III, Subtitle B of the 21st Century Department of Justice -Appropriations Authorization. I must ask that you cease and desist -immediately if not we will take action and contact the server that this site -is on and force them to give us your ip, and we will then contact your ISP -which will lead us to you. This is a very real and very serious threat. -Remove the link immediately. This is your one and only warning. -% -Poop is mostly shades of brown or yellow, but other colors can arise under -certain circumstances. For example, someone with a bleeding ulcer might have -tarry black poop from the presence of partially digested blood. Bleeding in -the intestine, from an anal fissure or split, for example, can stain the -poop red. Bloody poop can also be a sign of colon cancer, so you should get -it checked out by a doctor if you see blood in your stool. Some illnesses in -babies gives them green or even blue-green poop. But another source of blue -poop in children is more innocent: it can come from eating a concentrated -source of blue food coloring such as ice cream. Intense red food coloring -can produce bright red poop. Sometimes brightly colored foods pass through -the gut almost unchanged, and the turd may be speckled with bright red -fragments such as pimentos, or bright yellow kernels of corn. -% -I converted so easily. Just this morning, my nostrils were sneering at a -murky glass of bladder-beverage that I poured out of my penis. "Do it," I -scolded myself. "Transcend the stench; it's cheaper than aspirin." Boldly, I -chugged three gulps of my piddle -- yeech! My esophagus bucked -disagreeably... My pee is too hot and salty! It's icky! -% -I'm extremely liberal, yet I don't mind the government getting involved in -our personal lives in order to keep us safe from terrorism. I'm also ok with -racial profiling. -% -You obviously know little about what's being talked about. We'll see, and -I'll quote you later when you're proven wrong. -% -I eat exclusively from the following list of 12 foods: Almonds/nuts, -Berries, Oats/whole grain cereal, vegetables (especially green leafy), Beans -and Legumes, Nonfat Dairy products, Eggs, Lean Meats (especially turkey), -peanut butter, olive oil, Whey protein, and Whole Grain Bread (which falls -under oats/cereals). My colon is immaculate, and my bowel movements are -enormous, dense, and dry as a biscuit. -% -I've been using IRC for years now, I love it, it is one of the best chat -programs on the internet -% -Sex is a beautiful thing and it should not be restricted to certain age -limits. It should be enjoyed by old people right down to toddlers. And why -not? Yeah, I hear the jokes about Catholic priests. But people should just -shut the fuck up and let others explore the deep, mysterious cave that is -SEX. I mean, don't knock it until you try it. Don't say it's bad until -you've had your stiff PENIS shoved so far up a childs tight little pussy, -you cant say shit. -% -Someone from the ip address "66.103.132.86" has been performing port scans -and other malicious things on my computer such as DoS attempts and intrusion -attempts wich in turn has made my internet speed drop because this person is -doing it so much and it is just destroying my bandwidth. Please tell them to -stop. No, actually, force them to stop. -This e-mail address showed up when I back traced the IP address and -preformed a whois search on it. If you are not responsible for the actions -of this person, please ignore this e-mail. If nothing is done about it, keep -this in mind: I'm a 15 year old hacker with alot of time on my hands. -Therefore, if you don't stop this person, I will. I just thaught I would go -about it the right way before I did anything. -% -Yo what kinda chili u into? I'm all about the Green Serrano, Red Serrano, -Cayenne, Datil, Dried Red Serrano, Ancho, Francisca, Scotch Bonnet, New -Mexican, Banana, Savinas, Pimento, BrilliantStars, Poblano, Red Thai, Hot -Wax, Dried New Mexican, Jalepeno, Dearbol, Tepin, Habanero, Aji-Amarillo, -Bell, Dundicut, Tequilla, Tien-Tsin, Hungarian, Tabasco, Piquin chillis and -don't forget the Crazy Chilli too! -% -My d20 is carved out of a solid piece of pure onyx with ruby inlet numbers. -It was valued at over $2000. It has an operating system (made by Microsoft) -that automatically seeks out any other d20s on the table and crushes them. -Anything larger than a d20, laser shoot out and destroy that useless piece -of plastic. It can track a pewter figure from 1.3 miles away. DMs fear my -d20 because it allows me to cheat without much effort. I simply say "roll a -20" and it does. All other d20s are obsolete. -% -when you make love to a pregnant lady, you get a hand job from her baby, -cold rubbin' it makin' it crazy, till I'm leakin' out all my man gravy ohh -yeah -% -Y0 what kind of crimes u into? im all about a plan to kidnap a person / rape -them / torture them / kill them / cutting off da head / drain da body of -blood / rape da corpse / eat da corpse / dispose of da organs and bones / -finish ff7 -% -The fish I buy are only the finest sushi-grade specimens raised in the -pristine nurseries of Fuji-ura; a lake of pure rainwater which has lay -hidden for millenia in a lush, sun-drenched crater atop Mt. Fuji. Go back to -your newspaper-wrapped already dead for 12 hours vulcanized supermarket -fish. I wouldn't be caught dead with that filth in my immaculate kitchen. -% -Thanks for noticing, for getting an on topic first post I was bitch slapped -into karma oblivion. At least two people with mod points went back and -knocked down all my previous posts to -1 with trolls, off topics and -redundants. I was banned form posting for twenty-four hours and I'm not -allowed to meta-moderate anymore:( There some mean people on /. -% -Would you like my resume? I write code in everything from mainframe COBOL on -OS/360-OS/390 systems (OS/VS COBOL, MVS COBOL, etc) to C/C++ and Java. I -think I know what the hell I'm talking about, nerd. Have you visited my -corporation's website? Feel free to read the article about me. It's on the -front page. Do you have some more inane nerd blather, or is it time for some -Totinos? I thought so. -% -I'm a truck driver and would love to meet other transgendered truckers and -would love to meet any Lady truckers that enjoy being with a transvestites. -% -every guy i hook up with ends up getting AIDS. i tested positive for HIV, so -i think it was me. sorry guys, but maybe you should think before blaming it -all on me. you could have at least used those STD testers on me first, so -dont act like its all my fault. but anyways, sorry. -% -Yes, perhaps embracing your status as a social misfit will allow you to -appear "edgy" and "cool" as you're going through the pile of dirty clothes -on your floor desparately looking for anything that isn't encrusted with -either microwave burrito glop or your rancid dried semen -% -I played diablo for like 12 hours straight on my couch, slowly sliding into -a position that was almost parallel with the floor. At some point I realized -my head was the only part of me still on the couch, and I decided that was a -retarded way to sit, but by that point I couldn't move. I fell over and -dropped my laptop. My back was spasming so bad I almost pissed myself. In a -vain attempt to alleviate the pain I crawled into the shower and turned on -blasting hot water. That was no help, but it did soak my tshirt. After 15 -minutes of crying on the bathroom floor wearing a soaked and freezing tshirt -I found a pair of scissors in a droor and cut the shirt off. I passed out -from pain in a bunch of dirty towels and q-tips. Never felt anything like -that, not before and not after. Awful. -% -Hey girl, what kind of irc chatters r u into? I'm into pimply overbearing -misfits, power-mad failures with an axe to grind, faceless idlers, 'Zany' -wannabees, creepy pedophiles, dickless unix freaks, shit-eating mac users, -clueless windoze faggots, 'professional' web designers, legally blind php -coders with herpes, geriatric lechers on social security, gun nuts on -federal disability, and ambitionless retards working the night shift. -% -My name is Paul. If my name were to be used in a function it would used as -such. Paul > You. I'm an investment banker. I am scared of daylight, so I -stay indoors until 2am. I order in all my meals not because I like eating -take out on a daily basis, but because I am so excited to get back to work -and look at my multiple lcd screens with spreadsheets open all over the -place. Casual friday means I can roll up my sleeves, but I don't because I -don't want to wrinkle my custom tailored shirts I buy from Bergdorf Goodman. -I like to get my shoes shined multiple times a week, not because I want them -to look clean and shiny, but because everyone who is line can admire my -alligator gucci loafers that cost more than their LCD TV. I like business -cards, so I can hand you one and you can hand me one, if yours looks cooler -you better be careful or you will end up like Paul Allen on American Psycho, -but that probobly wouldn't happen because yours says marketing -representative, or senior sales associate and mine says investment banker. I -sometimes wish I had a life outside of the fast lane, but who the hell wants -to drive slow? If our lives were cars I'd be the 911 turbo and you'd be the -Taurus or the Civic SI (for those of you gunners). I like to look at people -and smile and nod, not because I'm a nice or friendly guy, but because they -are just another person that I passed in the race called life. I flaunt -money because, that's the only thing I have that you don't have. You -probobly have free time, a life, hobbies etc. I have money. Money can't buy -happiness, but it can buy whatever the Fuck I want. -% -A buddy of mine actually had both of his computers confiscated by the FBI. -Apparently someone had spoofed his IP (or maybe hacked into his wirless) and -made a whole bunch of fraudulent purchases. About 8 months later, the FBI -decided to give him his computers back? with all his fursona's files -mysteriously deleted. This is an outrage. -% -I was stuck in traffic one day and just kinda thought it would be funny to -masturbate. It was sunny and clear out, so I was worried one of the other -drivers would see me, but my jeep is pretty high off the ground, so I think -no one noticed. I busted a nut and aimed it down, ruining my tweety bird -floor mat. I felt kinda stupid after and my mom kept silent the rest of the -drive home. It was awkward and I regret it. -% -I wish that i was Vegeta from dragonball z. Once while stoned i tried to do -a kamehameha and im sure my hands got hot. Im planning on picking a fight -and while the adrenaline is flowing, im going to turn super saiyan and -punish my opposition. Goku is stronger but Vegeta is cooler, im 38 with two -kids.... my kids are weaklings, my wife left me and i like the way womans -shoes make my calves look. -% -earlier tonight i went into chat and no one spoke to me. i don't know what -i've done to anyone...but i guess whatever it is..it was enough for people -to stop talking to me. some may think 'well, it's just chat...right?'. well -unfortunately, chat is all i have. the only friends i have are online. -% -Three guesses as to who was asked to leave the Starbucks; oh, and told "not -to come back" with my "hateful rhetoric". True enough, I just said I hate -niggers; but the problem is, everything I said WAS TRUE! -% -I am the world's foremost expert on sticking people's treasured items into -my urethra. I have 'gauged' it to the point where I can almost wedge a -piece of celery in there, though no one treasures celery. If anyone can -beat this, I'd like to suck their dick! -% -i like my urls like i like my women...dirty and mangled -% -The message is pretty clear. Whenever two sheep herding white guys get -together, they allow their animal instincts to take over and they buttfuck -each other and fall in love. Then, they live a lie and sneak out repeatedly -to hook up and fuck each other's asses until they bleed. Then the wives find -out and divorce them. Or, the dumb ass bimbos dont know that their husbands -try on their clothers while they are away. The cinetography was beautiful -the soundtrack, etc. But the message (written by a chink) is still one of -deception, love, and faggotry. Sorry. -% -There is no doubt that white boys do play video games well. Having been run -off the football field, basketball court, and track by more athletic black -boys, white boys retreat to their computers and video games. Unfortunately, -this only makes their unathletic bodies weaker, thus seriously harming their -concept of masculinity and making them social outcasts with females. -% -Did you know? The origins of the tooth fairy date back to the early 1800s. -According to linguist and accredited historian Michael Quinion, the "Toothe -Faerie" was first documented in 1825, when dental hygiene was beginning to -gain momentum due to studious work of the "father of dental hygiene", Alfred -C. Fones. Fones solicited young boys for -- at first innocent, but -increasingly violent -- oral sodomy in exchange for their freshly uprooted -teeth, in some cases having been recorded as persuading youths to perform -these acts of love shortly after the dental work. Over the course of his -career, unbeknownst to local authorities, Fones began to encourage large -amounts of subsequent generations of virginial youths to procure payment in -addition to these sexual favors in order to retrieve their dislodged teeth, -thereby setting an example for burgeoning homosexual men of all ages to -come. Due to the local vernacular of the time, the good doctor's casual -title "Magister Dentali" was eventually replaced with our more modern -colloquialism once enough of the population had become familiar with the -tale. -% -Did You Know? After maintaining a vow of silence for almost 7 years, Red Hat -Linux founder Marc Ewing now freely admits that he named Red Hat Linux after -Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst's trademark red New York Yankees baseball -cap. -Durst and Ewing met in Ewing's hometown of Raleigh, North Carolina (Durst -was raised in Gastonia, NC), where they became fast friends, sharing the -same passion for low-level system programming. -Durst collaborated with Ewing on the first preview beta of Red Hat Linux -before the demands of his rocketing stardom forced him to abandon his hobby -and tour with his band. -Durst's position on the development team was filled by Damien Neil, and not -many know of his contribution to the popular Linux distribution; however, a -google search through the source code on Redhat.com -(http://www.google.com/search?q=wfd+site:redhat.com) reveals many snippets -of code authored by 'wfd', Durst's initials (William Frederick Durst). -Durst asked Ewing to keep his 'geeky' roots a secret as it would not lend -itself to Durst's bad boy image, but as Ewing points out, it was "only a -matter of time" before the origins of his NASDAQ-100 company's name were -uncovered. -% -If you listen to all of the cds that ICP has put out, and really put some -thought into what ICP is saying on them, there are some very strong -references to all things biblical. I mean you're really gonna hafta look -past all of the "chicken huntin" and things like that. It's not really like -the D.C. is its OWN religion, its more like it follows Christianity very -heavily. As far as the shangri-la (heaven), The Great Milenko (the devil), -and things of that nature, all stand for different aspects of the Bible. I -dunno, im kinda babbling here, so perhaps if i refer you to a web page -you'll understand more. -% -At the age of about 5, in the bath, I was playing with my lego men, jungle -animals, duplo etc. I needed to pass wind, so i did (with a little effort) -satisfied, I returned to playing with my toys. I reached for the black -gorilla king of the jungle and brought it up to my face, only to find it was -my shit. -% -ok, I know i'm married with kids but there is this chick at work who totally -flirts with me all the time. She's not into me or anything but she totally -flirts with me. I don't exactly not flirt back, and I -fantasize about her all the time. nothing will happen between us because i'm -such a pussy. oh yah, shes 6 years old -% -One time I offered my diabetic friend some reeses pieces, which he refused, -saying he would get sick. I assured him that he would be fine and he gobbled -up a whole handful without getting sick at all. The next day he asked me -where he could get more of this special treat, and I told him that he had -not eaten candy at all, but rather "feces pieces". -% -Heh. Don't you guys know that arguing on the internet is like participating -in the special olympics? Even if you win, you're still retarded. In fact, -there's an image out there on this interweb of ours that conveys this -message perfectly... -% -have you ever been squatting down and just, you know, tucked in your neck, -you know? and closed your eyes? and then put your forehead down on the -ground, you know? and then you know, leaned forward a little bit, you know, -shifted your weight? and then just lifted your posterior up in the air, -pushed hard, you know, and watched yourself take a gigantic shit on another -man's chest? man, there should really be a name for doing this. -% -pick on me thru a monitor, i doubt it would happen in rl -% -I know Africa has its own internet connection.. buncha niggers with mailbags -run around for email.. Tech Support is like shakalakuzulu kuntakente cheifs -that speek jigabooese -% -Since you like looking at women, I think it's about time you get your cherry -busted. Yes, you need to get laid. Nursing homes are full of old hotties -that would be willing to give their all to please. Since they are mostly in -wheelchairs, they don't even have to kneel. Think about it, dude! In fact, -think about those wrinkled, diapered old women every time you wank. Think, -visualize, wrinkled dry pussy, depends, gums only, shit breath, saggy -tits........ -% -This is why it is so tough for Microsoft to break into the Japanese market. -They have a different mentality. THe Japanese have a more demure way of -doing business. They always strive for honor in all that they do. -% -Is it politically correct on this list to trash Microsoft and show destain -for money? If so, I must protest. Microsoft is the best thing that ever -happened to computer users, ever. It will never, never be replaced by user -unfriendly software like linux or TeX. Never. -% -no sooner had the last inch of snow fallen in New York when the blogosphere -came alive with myriad sepia filtered grainy photos of the wintry landscape, -long, disjointed poetry about the ruthlessness of mother nature, and -helpless nerds half-joking pleas for rescue -% -girl i must be dick cheney because i want to fire my weapon into your back -% -oh well, I'm smarter than almost everyone I ever met in my whole fucking -life, so I'm not worried about my filthy habits heh -% -Second-best sex? Tell that to a Linux programmer who's got a slice of pizza -in one hand, his hideously empurpled member in the other and a Natalie -Portman tribute website firmly plastered across Firefox... -% -Chinese/Korean/Japanese don't look alike. If you think they are alike then I -guess all white people are the same too. You dumb crackers. -% -I had a dream (nightmare really) last night that the coffee industry in -South America was hit by a blight that made all coffee toxic which caused -death for anyone who drank a cup. The entire Web 2.0 startup scene crashed -and the bubble popped. Flock went under and Yahoo stopped buying everyone. -Not fun. -% -Ookles? I don't know but it's Web 2.0 compliant and has a nice prototype.js -transition when you register for their private beta. -% -By the way, I've seen you play DDR in real life. You didnt know I was a -goon, but I was there. Watching. Waiting. Planing. -% -I like to take a toothbrush and stick it in my anus. I get into the shower -and sit up straight so that it gets as deep as possible. This feels great -and there is no pain. Then you can jack off and move up and down just like -you?re riding a real cock. It feels GREAT! -% -Fuck all authority figures of any type. Now instead of hearing the song and -letting it pass by you I think we should all rise against and do somin about -authority..... and they can feel the rage of OUR generation!!!!!!!!!!!!! -% -lol no 1 has 1 that they will give out to even members here i doubt ud get 1 -i cant find 1 and iv been looking over a month every hour .. u gota look -maby ull find 1 or learn to make i tried and failed so i dono wht to say but -u wont get 1 im sure.. thats just hwo it is i wish i had 1 my self -% -ILYAZAYUZIN.......HAHAHAHA...FIRST OFF TELL ME WHERE IV'E BEEN PRAISING -VANILLA ICE. SECONDLY STOP ACTING LIKE A RETARD INTERNET THUG AND GET OFF 2 -PAC'S NUTSACK YOU 15 YEAR OLD WANNABE WANKSTA.GO LISTEN TO YOUR BONE THUGS -AND HARMONY WHILE I STICK SOME 7L AND ESOTERIC ON YOU CHUMP!!!!!PEACE TO THE -REAL UNDERGROUND HEADS! -% -I'm usually at the club on Sunday night, and they will have Adult Swim -playing on the TVs behind the bar. Having Boo-Boo Runs Wild on at the exact -time every Sunday gives me a good visual clue that the night is starting to -run its course, and that I should make it my last round so that I'll be -sober enough to drive. (So I can get home and watch the night's lineup as I -taped it.) -% -In stark terms, Wikipedia is one of the single most important undertakings -in human history. If we do our job, future generations will look upon -Wikipedia as the cornerstone of the information revolution. If we don't, the -world will lose a tremendous resource. This is why we need to keep the jews -out. -% -You're a huge assblaster. You're like one huge slimey smelly rocket, flying -through space at speeds unknown to man, and shooting off fumes which -slightly resemble broccoli and rotted meat. But it's ok, because your -flaccid asscheeks, worn from shits that rival the titantic herself, will -make up for the kinetic energy lost from your inefficient use of the natural -gas the infinitely spews from your cum-filled stomach. -% -Meth is the shortest word in the English language one can lisp while drunk -and underage at a gay bar. It can therefore be no surprise that homosexual -males have congregated around the substance since its inception. For every -meth mouth, there is an equal and opposite meth dick. -% -Found you folks by accident...decided that underground should actually mean -underground...although pop-up occur from time-to-time. The revolution will -be VOIPed AND blogged. -% -I hope I never have to hear any of these cosplay slangs ever at a -convention. Anime Iowa is a place to have fun and to enjoy being surrounded -by fellow fans. Not a place to treat other fans in a superior fashion. -*Most of us experienced or are experiencing this in highschool* -% -And yeah, I didn't want to get into this, either. It's just that I'm fucking -sick to death of furs bagging on other furs just to blow up their own egos. -This is what the real problem is in the fandom that "gives us a bad rep". -While we're all squabbling over stupid lil mediocre differences like -children on a playground, the rest of the world thinks we're all a bunch of -skunk fuckers anyways. It's all very inane. -% -I hear you brought a prepubescent kid to a "FurBQ" event a while back. I -wonder that that kid's guardians would think if they knew the things you -jerked off over, or that you get an erection mentally undressing kids you -see on the street. I wonder what people at your job would think, or what -your parents would think. Maybe you should wonder those things too. -% -I disagree with the software "Fruity Loops" on the grounds that only 50% or -less of the musicians that use this software are actually homosexual. I -think they need to either change the name of the software, or have some kind -of provision in the EULA that you can only use it if you're gay. Stop faking -the funk already. -% -I used to watch Dragon Ball Z, and it was cool, and Transformers is awesome -too. But one thing I never got about anime is why do they have big eyes? -It's from Japan, that should mean small eyes. -% -I've had sex with a dinosaur, horse, sheep and cow in my dreams -% -Anyone who has taken Linguistics 101 and actually paid attention would be -well aware that English uses no subjunctive tense. For you see, gerunds and -participles aren't tenses, my friend. As much as I enjoy your witticisms -and laughably incorrect "facts", I'd prefer that you research it. -% -Hey gurl what u into? I'm all about the blunt force injuries with no blood -and resulting in blood on body and clothing, blood splattering from wounds, -death with eyes open, cutting injuries with no blood, screaming in pain and -resulting in blood on body, severed limbs, blood spurting from wounds, -entrails seen, and death. -% -I was watching myself everynight. Eventually I found myself very attractive, -and I finally realized my ability to make her love me. So I raped her. But I -later found she was a slut since she didn't want to marry me. So, I raped -her again. I think she loves me now. -% -What kind of anime u into? I'm all about the Inu yasha, saiyuki, get -backers, spiral, furuba, you're under arrest, soul hunter (houshin engi), -tokyo underground, samurai deeper kyo, flame of recca, mirage of blaze, gate -keepers, real bout high school, street figter, fatal fury, dnAngel, -gravitation, yami no matsuei, theif and detective, prince of tennis, -juvenile orion, aporipha0, orphen, angelic layer, shama pita ten, kaiken -phrase, FAKE, himiko den, kiddy grade, lost universe, slayers, burn up W, -for you in full blossoms, fushigi yuugi, gundam wing, yuyu hokushou, hunter -x hunter, sakura wars, cardcaptor sakura, tokyo babylon, magic knights -rayearth, scrapped princess, infinite ryvius, witch hunter robin, mahou -senshi riui, Furi Kuri, gundam seed, vampire princess miyu, king of bandits -jing, rave, E's Ot Gojyo (saiyuki), Sanada Yukimura (samuria deeper kyo), -Hiroshi (gravitation), Inu yasha, Ban (get backers), Akabane (get backers), -Heartia (orphen), Iori (King of Fighters), Taikoubo (houshin engi), Kyou -(furuba), Kazuma (scryed), Larva (vampire princess miyu), Shigure (furuba), -Ken (weiss kreuz), Dark (dnAngel), Kurama (yuyu hakushou), Akabane (get -backers), Touga (utena), Shido (nightwalker), Ryuhou Quatre (gundam wing), -Amon (witch hunter robin), Michael (witch hunter robin), Riui (mahou senshi -riui), Shido (nightwalker), Jing (king of bandits jing), Yuuki (e's -otherwise", Kai (e's otherwise), Eagle (magic knights rayearth), Clef (maigc -knights rayearth), Enba (wildrock), Ken (Mata Natsu ga Kita), Haru (rave), -Magica (rave) -% -I have a cat trap in my back yard and its pretty fun to check the cage on a -friday night and choke a cat to death while you are half snapped. sometimes -ill even follow up with a jerk session and blow my semen all out on a dead -pussy. ohh yeah. -% -dude...listen...pretty much evry one hate him and microsoft, sure he's given -us some computer crap who cares, its all crap, i hate windows so much, its -the crapyest piece of shit ever, i want linux! -% -Everyone who has had sex and said it wasn't that great are people who have -only had sex with people they don't really care about. It's disappointing to -just stick your dick in any girl, but if it's a childhood friend or your -daughter, it's so much better. -% -If your daughter listens to hip hop music, you should caution her against -taking MDMA, commonly known as ecstasy if she plans to go to hip hop -concerts or hip hop clubs. As everyone knows, when you add E to rap, you get -RAPE. -% -Hello. I have a girlfriend. She has long orange hair which she wears with -hairpins. She never removes her hairpins as they are worn in memory of her -brother while her hair is worn long in honor of the promise Tatsuki once -made to protect her. One of my girlfriend's more distinct characteristics is -a large bust. -% -Before I dropped out of college, I strove to be as different from everyone -else as I could be, reading manga and blasting JPOP music in my car. -% -So, I met this fat, skanky nigger bitch who wanted to fuck me, 'cause she'd -never had a white man. I said sure, took her home and got her all hot and -bothered. Then I hit her over the head with a crowbar. Just before she lost -conscienceness, I told her I'd never defile my white cock on a nigger ape -and shit in her face. Then I beat her to death with the crowbar. I ground -her carcass up in a meat grinder and made nigger patties. -% -Ummmm....you are trying to equate "ratings" for fucking PODCASTS with that -of TV? Even digital cable TV? A Podcast is a big hit with a few thousand -downloads. 99% of hte wolrd doesn't gie a fuck about Podcasts. OK, maybe not -99%, since the world is about 10% homosexual. But 100% of heterosexuals have -NEVER listened to a podcast, or read a blog in their lives. -% -You're really a failure at life, you're 290 pounds, you've got horrible back -hair, you sweat profusely, staining all your white clothes yellow, and -you've killed 3 dogs by anal impaction. -% -Little known fact: "Chimney Sweeps" from Dickensian literature actually did -not clean chimneys in a literal sense, as soot would take centuries to build -up to the point where airflow in a typical chimney was obstructed. Instead -these young boys were paid for performing analingus on as many as 30 wealthy -gentlemen per day. -% -When I masterbate I fantasize about strange things. Like shitting in other -peoples mouths while I watch them slowly drown in quicksand. I wish I wasn't -so fucked up. What's worse is that seems like the only way I can get off. -% -The average man's body in this country is an absolute embarrassment. Mother -Nature has got to be ashamed. The average man is a flabby, frail mess of a -joke, a complete and utter mockery of a physical sham. The average man is -feeble, fat and functionless. The only time he ever moves his engorged, -slovenly body is when he shoves another slice of pizza down his throat, -scratches his ass or belches out the national anthem. -% -My data are extrusively and exclusively sorted, indexed, and metaindexed. My -indices are stored and accessed on a plethora of nodes over an ultra high -bandwidth optical pipe; any item of data in my vast collection is instantly -accessible by myself from anywhere on the planet. Go back to bubble sorting -your recipe card database. You cannot possibly compare with me. Good day. -% -So I'm sitting at my xterm in KDE hacking some kernel code, and this bitch -comes up to me and says "Do you know which of these computers runs Windows?" -Well that did it. I flipped up my shades and looked her straight in the eye -and said "Fuck no I'm open source bitch". I picked up my 10 lb IBM Model M -keyboard and said "I can kick your ass at 120wpm" and broke it over the -cunt's head. She dropped to her knees and I kicked the jewel case out of her -hand and into her teeth. Next I grabbed her by the neck and said "How's your -uptime" before suplexing her backward through the air and into the server -room. Some smoke that smelled like burning hair started to drift out so I -jumped on my razor scooter and rode off into the sunset. -% -Hello. I am interested in various things, which include: Finding out your -real life info(s), prank calling you every day, stealing your IRC -nickname(s), and finding flaws in your website (i.e. loading popups, etc). -% -girl, i must be cervical cancer because i'm totally eating your pussy -% -Furcism is just as bad a racism jackass, if you dont have anything -intelligent to say shut the fuck up.... Obviously furry is in demand if the -mod created a board for it, therefore he needs to fix the link, and you can -just avoid it with your furcist ass. Geez im getting tired of lil pricks -saying stupid shit. May a tiger eat your entrails..... -% -My Fleshlight massages my penis at a rate of 2700 RPMs and feels like 250 -preteen girls giving me a handjob simultaneously. It's encrusted with -flawless 36 karat conflict diamonds straight from the heart of Africa. It's -powered by an experimental plutonium alloy battery and has a constant -run-time of well over 3 years. It has 4 settings, as opposed to yours which -has only 2 settings (on and off). No other fabricated orifice can compare -to my Fleshlight. -% -woke up around 3pm pretty hung over - i got a new pair of jeans they are the -brand wild ass which is pretty good has alot of places to stash shit like -knives,hammers leathermens drank a pot of coffee and read the drudge report -and huffington post sat outside near some fresh dog shit and smoked 5 -cigerettes as my dogs barked at me put on my boots and off we fucking go to -clean out the swamp coolers of rich college kids who live a block from the -campus - you gota first get on the roof then you unlatch these metal clamps -on all corners then fuckin valium hits you hard you undo the belt so it -doesnt break w/ frost bite - then you drain the water out of them and turn -off electricity and water routing to the swamp coolers - any one of you -fucking fucks out there with a swamp cooler your gona die some day fucking -disgusting you stash some shit up there like a piegeon or a wasps nest n let -it soak and blow fuckin air and whatever the fuck i let into your swamp -cooler soak in your room - you better fuckin belive it if i sweep up anymore -cig butts outside the f uckin final fantasy soundtrack lovin fuckin failed -frat boys yard im gona put a bag of kimchee and chicken grease fuckin sars -in his face and ass from sucking the wind of the d - low blood sugar valium -and a hang over i fuckin put the shit back together as hot fuckin college -ass walks by constantly so i start to head down off the roof theres a sort -of ledge then a fence then the ground - but then i see into one of the -neighbors yards and it looks like a sort of stable? so i kinda jumped from -the roof into their yard but my boots fuckin get stuck on the rain gutter -and i flip forward face into the wall upside down kidna fall back onto the -floor it smells really bad and the pain is unbearable and i hear a sort of -weird snorting sound the door to the stable is open and allthough im hurt -pretty bad nothing is broke -0 i just sort of limp into the stable to see -whats up and theres this beutiful donkey there - a great ass/mule im not -sure what kind of breed it was but it wsa really friendly and let me pet its -mane it said my leg would feel better soon cuz of the valium and i thought -that was funny i sorta sat down in the corner cuz of the leg pain and -noticed i was sitting in a pile of the donkeys shit - wet dry all together - -my wild ass jeans were soaked and there were flies everywhere - the pony -donkey thing just sort of looked at me and smiled like horses/donkeys/bears -do and i smiled back cuz wtf im allready pretty fucked so i start to stand -up but the girafe sort of moves its ass so my head bumps into its really -toned ass - i cant help but notice that its massive cock is in fact a -donkeys vagina - i look up at her pretty pony face and she smiles back so i -just dove into that pussy where you at dog you know what im saying - fist -into ass pushed in pretty far so i could feel around in the mule's stomach -and slowly i felt that she had a sort of hernia? so i pushed a lil farther -(my jacket was fucked at this point) and i found that the hernia let me push -my arm all the way through to her beutiful unicorn vagina for the first time -i have fisted someone through both hinde sex cavities - but something -spooked that old black man and he started to run with me attatched my -girlfriend who works with me on the landscaping saw me from over the wall -and my arm slurped out of the small scotty dogs ass it was disgusting and -embarrasing -% -I'm new to this channel, but I would just like to tell you that you are an -inspiring individual. I appreciate your efforts. I'm not a pedophile myself, -but I happen to enjoy viewing lolicon on a regular basis, so I'm well aware -of the prejudices you face. Never stop fighting for what you believe in. -% -GET TROOPS OUT OF IRAQ BUCK FUSH CONSERVATIVES ARE GAY NO BLOOD FOR OIL -WRONG WAR WRONG PLACE WRONG TIME FRIENDS DONT LET FRIENDS VOTE REPUBLICAN -BUSH&DICK: GOOD IN BED BAD IN DA WHITEHOUSE my brother raped me when i was 6 -% -You know, I find it hard to say that something that has freed 50 million -iraqi people from oppression and death is a bad thing. -% -My friend, I bet you haven't read the terms and conditions for this -forum.... Take cover, you are about to be flamed! -% -My new XBOX 360 controller is one out of ten collector's editions ever made. -Handcrafted from a block of pure platinum, the buttons are various precious -and semiprecious stones, expertly cut and polished to brilliance by noted -Japanese philosopher and artisan Inazo Nitobe. It can operate in wireless -mode from over 3km away, and the force feedback is powerful enough to slice -through a four inch pane of glass. -% -While the argument does not really say much being on a PG-rated television -program, Data never reveals his genital region on screen. This makes -confirmation fo genitals by direct examination impossible. -% -Japanese is such a sound poor language... it's impossible for them to say a -lot of english sounds, LET ALONE German which is much more complex soundwise. -% -I think now is a good time to honor ourselves with some put-ups. You know, -instead of put-downs? -% -Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Norris instead punched his -way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard. Before -email was invented Chuck Norris would attach messages to kittens and -roundhouse kick them. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. Chuck -Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. When Chuck Norris has -sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of -women. Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway. -Chuck Norris has yet to get a Jeopardy question wrong. Jesus has missed two. -Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and -unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was -finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul -back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he -should have seen it coming.. -% -A plane is standing on a runway that can move (some sort of band conveyer). -The plane moves in one direction, while the conveyer moves in the opposite -direction. This conveyer has a control system that tracks the plane speed -and tunes the speed of the conveyer to be exactly the same (but in opposite -direction). -The question is: Will the plane take off or not? -The answer: Yes! -The plane will take off if there is enough difference between the speed of -the air and the plane. The plane speed RELATIVE to the air speed over the -wings is half that of the plane relative to the conveyor. -Basically, it depends on how fast the conveyor moves, consequently how fast -the plane moves forward. If it reaches (about) 220 mph, it will take off. -% -Carefull there friend, posting a blog message claiming that my users are not -mature might just cause the masses to come over here and attack your site. -Next thing you know, you will be dDOS attacked, and spammed in your comments -section. -% -Did You Know: As late as 1987, instruction booklets included in the classic -Parker Bros. board game "Monopoly" contained directions for appointing one -player as "The Jew"? It was not until the early 90s that references to "The -Jew" were replaced by "The Banker" in all game packaging and accompanying -material. -% -Haha. Whatever. I'm in an animation college, and when I was in high school -girls used to BEG for picture from me, and it was the most attention I got -in school. Now everyone draws so it's not a big deal. If someone compliments -you, take it, because chances are I'm better than you, and would mock you -when you left the room. -% -I'm clicking your link, n00b, and nothing's happening. I'm clicking, bitch. -What's supposed to happen, fag? I'm clicking and nothing's happening, -fucktard. -% -I bet you think you're actually amusing. You were giggling to yourself as -you typed that line out, and are eagerly staring at your screen hoping that -someone will give you a zany quip in reply. Go on, you can laugh. It's okay. -Just remember that you're the only one who thought that comment was in any -way entertaining. -% -I bet you think you're actually amusing. You were giggling to yourself as -you typed that post out, and are eagerly refreshing this thread in the hopes -that someone will give you a zany quip in reply. Go on, you can laugh. It's -okay. Just remember that you're the only one who thought that post was in -any way entertaining. -% -Presumably you're either joking, or you're not a web designer. -% -I'm very sorry to hear about your situation. I'll write a post about it on -BlogSpot and Xanga. Maybe we can also start a social bookmark campaign to -highlight your story. -% -For those who doubt the authenticity of these facts, note that I have a -doctorate in the Social Sciences from the University of Phoenix online, and -I have over thirty volumes on the subject in print via on-demand internet -publishing. Good day. -% -guns work like this - u buy the deagle at the spawn point and u get the -headshot -% -girl i must be the u.s. senate because i'm totally rejecting your timetable -for withdrawal of my troops -% -The government is too bureacratic and corrupt to accept the opinoin of an -average American. They don't care about us, and we shouldn't care about -them. We need a revolution right now. Start it with Linux. F**K the -government! -% -It should be extrusively notated (and annotated) that my imago has been -ensnared in the viscosity of time. That is why my transcendent self has been -importuned (but not without resisting) despite the hydraulic pressure to -limitate and delineate those theotons (the untimely microscopic, particulate -hydrole) whose essential god-like characteristics have been laminated into -an irreducibly minisculate, atomized, and indeed lionized cannister. Such is -the enraptured entrapment of my condition. -% -Boo hoo! So their PROFITS are down. That only means they're not stealing as -much from the poor. I call that a move in the right direction! Let's face it -folks! Companies only profit by exploiting the poor. The very existence of -poverty is all the proof you need! What do they need all of that money for? -They have a civic duty to share their ill-gotten fortunes with the society -they exploit to create their riches. Companies should be forced to operate -at a break-even limit. Any excess profit proves that they are charging too -much for their product, and exploiting the poor. Such immoral profiteering -should be illegal! There are so many people that need that money more than -those greedy, racist executive robber-barons! The slavery must end, people! -If we don't stick up for the poor now, who will fight for us when it's OUR -turn to be robbed? -% -I work for IBM. -So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies. -Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are -talking about. -But trust me.... You don't. -I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont -know what you are talking about. -This is how bad info gets passed around. -If you dont know about the topic....Don't make yourself sound like you do. -Cuz some Slashdotters belive anything they hear. -% -I am pleased to inform you that I am currently drinking pure nutrients and -dense anti-oxidants in the form of fortified pomegranate nectar. During an -average meal I will drink no less than six liters of steeped oolong tea -imported mere hours before from his Holiness the Dalai Lama's private -garden. In short, the ratio of free radicals in your bloodstream as compared -to mine is immeasurably high. Good day. -% -I like to say these following words: 1.tit balls 2.penis nipples 3.doodie -poopy 4.pickleweasle 5.testicle poop 6.shit whore 7.shitless tit 8.penis -shrimp 9.loomis 10.super weiner discharge -% -i think this guy likes me. evertime we hang out, and do the least bit of -touching, he gets a boner, or atleast i thnk he does. but a boner is pretty -hard to miss. so im guessing yea.excepts ints ot thru hsi pants, he jsut -kidof tucks it in the part wiht tbuttons... the part were the belt goes. but -it still goes up, and im not hallucinating -% -put down that joystick, son, and get yourself to the bar; there are all -sorts of women out there waiting to take your money in exchange for a -pittance of shallow affection -% -Chimpanzees start mating immediately after menstruation has begun or -ejaculation becomes possible. Considering that we are animals, maybe it -wouldn't be strange for humans to start having sex at 12 or 13. -% -To most, it seems obvious that there is a God. If true, the universe has a -definite purpose. God made science. The old flat earth and geocentric -beliefs prove that the scientific community has been wrong before, and could -be again. Because of insufficient evidence to produce an objective finding, -many scientists have realized that much more faith is required for -Darwinism, than for Intelligent Design. -% -I went straight for the animation section in hopes of finding the newest -Prince Picha Picha tape, but unfortunately found the aisle littered with -shit like Yuko Hiba and Haldi Daldi Sucking a Penis. I go up to the stock -grunt that's in the aisle over and ask him why there are adult anime videos -taking up space in a family video store. He tells me to lower my voice, and -I tell him not to disrespect me like that again. He tells me that if I talk -back to him he'll have me thrown out of the store because he's the manager, -so I lower my sunglasses, look him in the eye and say "I guess you'll have -to MANAGE this" and hit him with a flurry of dragon punches straight in his -gut. Then I grab him by his collar and lift him straight up in the air and -ask him where the Kimba the White Lion tapes are, he says love you man, i -had my man back there trigger the silent alarm. "I may not be a lion, but -hear my roar" and I throw him 20 feet in front of me into the cash register, -"You're due back in six days". Three of his employees come running out of -the back room with nunchucks in their hands and I jump up on the counter, -latch onto the ceiling lights and twist their necks with my dangling legs -"Heh, talk about a light fixture". I leave the store, hop into my red -camaro, and blaze off into the sunset as Moni Hima's Chiba Chiba Surprise -plays on the radio. -% -Well, I walk in to buy some tissues, and at the counter, I hear the manager -talking about some skateboard punks in the back by the garbage bins. The guy -said he was about to have to call the cops. I told him there's no need to, -I'll take care of it myself. So, I walked to the back of the store, and lo -and behold, a couple of good for nothings were tearing the place up. A -couple of them asked me what I was doing here, so I took of my shades, -looked them straight in eye, and said, " Well boys, I'm here to take out the -trash, then I grabed one of their skateboards, and broke it over my knee. -Then, one of them threw a punch at me. I caught it, and looked thr punk -straight in the eye, and said " I'm afraid theres no need for you to be -recycled, then I threw him straight over my head into one of the garbage -dumpsters. Then, the rest of the kids ran away in fear. I was glad I could -help my community, and look good doing it. -% -So, I bought a couple of dvds off some web site a few weeks ago and I was -pretty upset they haven't come in the mail already. So today I stuck around -the house until the mailman came, he brought me a package but it wasn't the -dvds I was waiting for. I asked him what the problem was and he told me that -he had no control over when the company sends me the dvds. He said I should -try to contact them. That did it. I couldn't belive this guy, I pay my taxes -and this guy thinks he has the right to sass me in front of my euro mansion, -in my freaking driveway? I lifted up my shades, took the cigar out of my -mouth, looked him straight in the eye and said " I'm afraid this package is -marked return to sender", and then I threw the package in the air and -sidekicked the package right into the guys face causing teeth to go -everywhere. I then saw one of my ederly neighbors walking toward me so I -assumed he wanted trouble as well so I gave him a swift round kick to the -ribs, I then looked at him and said "time to take out the garbage" and hip -tossed him into the garbage can. I then picked up the crying mailman and -threw him into the garbage can, after I had my "garbage collected", I picked -up the garbage can and said "let the good times roll" and threw the garbage -can down the hill. I didn't see those two guys again but I don't really -care, I took the mailbag and threw it in my fireplace since it was a little -chilly here today. -% -I was in town with one of my girlfriends today, and I decided to play one of -those scratch off games again, I was very suprised when I won 1 million -dollars on the spot, this was like the second time I won the lottery. I was -about to claim my prize but then I thought to myself I'm already rich why -not have some fun with this one? I told my girlfriend I was tired of her -already so I left her at the gas station and went to find me some poor -suckers. What better place than wal mart? I went up and down the aisles -until I found a bad dressed man and wife along with their kid. I went up to -the guy and showed the guy the ticket, and told him since I didnt need the -money I was going to give it to him and his family, when he started to tear -up I tore up the ticket and threw the pieces on the ground. I then started -to walk away but this spinless punk then took a swing at me when my back was -turned. That did it. I turned around, took off my shades, looked him -straight in the eye and said "feeling lucky". I then gave him a swift kick -in the ribs and threw him into the pet section, I then caught a wal mart guy -coming at me so I took a knife out of my jacket and threw it toward a chain -holding up a sign, I then looked at the guy and said "watch out for falling -prices" and then the sign fell on him and knocked him out. I left the store -but not before I complained to the manager about the kind of people they let -in there. -% -So I was sitting in the back corner of eat �n park a restaurant in the -northeastern region and I hear this group of punk kids terrorizing their -waitress, and I stumble over there and ask the beautiful lady what the -problem seems to be. The kids being the adept punks they are give her a -glare that tells her not to talk or else therell be problems but I know -better than this and I tell them that if they don�t apologize to this -beautiful belle theyre going to have to answer to me. I pull my shades out -of my back pocket, slip a comb through my wet hair, and tell them they have -10 seconds to apologize. The leader of the gang a chubby kid tells me to get -loss and then throws the peg game on his table at my face. �I pegged you as -the wise sort, and I don�t play games!� says I, and I grab a tonfa from the -cop sitting at the table next to them and tell them today�s special, punks -served sunny side up, with a side of hollandaise. I crack the tonfa over two -punk heads, do a roundkick, and then hiptoss the runt of the crew into the -pie fridge. �Creamed or Key Limed? � I ask the cop as he slips me a fiver -and gives me a back high five. He tells me Ive done a good job as a citizen, -and I kiss the beautiful waitress on the cheek, run my comb through my hair -once more and leave the restaurant on my harley. -% -It was a nice day today so I went for a walk outside. As I was walking, I -heard somebody crying out in pain so I went to investigate, when I turned -the corner I saw a kid that had fallen off his bike and he was grabbing his -leg and crying. There was this guy already there and he told me that he was -a doctor and he thought this kid had a broken leg. I could tell this guy was -lying because he didn't have any white coat, I don't like liars so I pushed -him out of the way. My training in medical school showed me that I had to -get the kid's leg straight again, so I started pounding his knee to get the -bone straight again. Thats when the guy that claimed to be a "doctor" called -me a moron and pushed me out of the way. Well that did it. I got up, took my -shades off, looked him straight in the eye and said " open wide doc" and -then I gave him a swift kick to the mouth. I then grabbed him and said "time -to make a house call " and then I threw him through a window of a near by -house. The kid stopped crying then, I guess my pounding earlier worked. I -told the kid not to thank me but I did need 20 dollars for my time. He only -had 14 so I took his bike as well. I feel pretty good about fixing the kid's -leg. -% -Me and my friend went to fill up my corvette last night and there were these -two punks there sitting on the sidewalk of the gas station with their radio -blasting. I was trying to think as I pumped gas but their radio made that -hard to do. I was not pleased. So I went in and payed for the gas and then I -went up to the two punks outside. I said excuse me but I think you need to -turn your radio down. They told me to chill, they were just hanging out and -having a few smokes. I then looked them in the eye and said " I'm afraid -this is the no smoking section boys" and then I kicked their radio up -against the side of the gas station. Then one of them stood up and took a -swing at me, I ducked it and then gave him a roundhouse kick to the stomach. -Then the other one took what was left of the radio and threw it at me, I -blocked it with my left hand which caused it to go sailing back and knock -him out. Then a middle aged man which looked to be in his 50's came up and -asked what was going on. I wasn't sure if he was with me or against me so I -assumed he was against me, I then gave him a swift front kick to the groin -and hip tossed him on top of the other guys there. I then walked back to my -car where my friend just stood there in awe, I asked him why he didn't help -me and he said it looked like I had things under control. I slapped him and -pushed him to the ground and told him to walk home. I then got in my -corvette turned up the radio to full blast and much to my suprise welcome to -the jungle was playing. I then sped off with that song playing full blast. I -felt pretty good about standing up for my rights and I looked good doing it. -% -So, I was at work yesterday, and I happened to walk by this guy's desk. I -noticed on his computer screen that he had his personal E-mails pulled up. I -asked him who he thought he was to do this on company time, and then, he -told me that his daughter was sick at home, so he was checking up on her. I -then punched his computer screen out, and Look him straight in the eye and -said, " Who do you think I am? Jerry Lewis? I dont want to hear your sob -story, so get back to work before I get you fired." He then said a few -cusswords, and then, then He tried to punch me, I blocked it, then , I gave -him a swift, round kick to the groin. I asked him if he wanted some more, -and he came at me, again, so, I slapped him, then I hip tossed him into the -nearest filing cabinent. I looked Over my should at anther worker who was -standing near by, and I said...." File him under G..... for garbage." -Needless to say, I was quite pleased, because now, that means there one less -person in the company for people to look at. All eyes should be on me. I'm a -stud. -% -Me and one of my friends went out today for some dinner so we stopped at a -pretty nice restaurant. I don't smoke and most of the time I sit in the non -smoking section but I didn't feel like walking to the back of the restaurant -today so me and my friend sat at the first table we came to in the smoking -section. Since most ppl should be aware that I don't smoke I didn't think I -would have any problems. I was wrong. This jerk lit up a cigarette right -next to me. I couldn't belive this fat jerk was disrepecting me like this so -I turned around and looked him right in the eye and said " you might want to -put that out fag..........That is,if you value your health". The guy said a -couple of cuss words and told me to go to the non smoking section. Well that -did it. I got up went over to the table and said "excuse me fag but you -didn't clean your plate", and then I took his plate and bashed him over the -head with it. Then his friend that was with him got up and took a swing at -me, I ducked it and then gave him a swift round kick to the ribs. I then hip -tossed him on the table and then I turned around and looked one of the -waiters right in the eye and said "this orders to go" and then I tossed the -table with the guy on it a good 14 feet across the room. As me and my friend -were storming out the manager apologized to us but I told him it was too -late as I would never eat there again. -% -Hah, then you're depriving yourself of one of life's simple pleasures. -Picture a cool Saturday evening.. lights down low, the sun is setting, Mom -went out with her friends. You have a slice of pizza in one hand, a Guinness -in the other, and a fresh Gentoo install on two screens in front of you. -Nothing quite like it, my friend. -% -I came home this afternoon after picking up my copy of gta and I smelled -something funny from my neighbors house. I went over there and the door was -unlocked so I went right in. Sure enough there was my neighbor and two of -his friends smoking to their hearts content. I told them they had two -options, one- they could put the joints out or two- I would put the joints -out for them. My neighbor had run ins with me before so he knew I meant -business so he threw his joint down and told me to leave. I said you made a -wise choice but I'm still calling the cops and then I turned to leave. My -neighbor then got up off the couch got behind me and said a few cuss words -and told me to mind my business. His other friend ran into the kitchen so I -went after him. He was in the corner crying so I said "this is your brain" -and then I grabbed a frying pan and said "this is your brain on drugs" and -then I hit him in the head as hard as I could with the frying pan. After -that I called the cops and they came over and arrested my neighbor and his -friends. As I was leaving the sarge shouted out to me thanks. I then threw -my shades on the ground to let him know I meant business. I feel pretty good -about what I did for my neighborhood today. -% -This thread is just a remake of a thread I read months ago on an exclusive -forum you're too poor to have even heard of, which counts among its members -such superstars as Tiesto, Paul Van Dyk, Kenny Loggins, and Afrikaa -Bambaataa. Maybe someday you can come up with something original. -% -I have like 50,000 shells/vhosts/bncs. Bans won't do a thing except fill -your list. And 'get to where i am today' is a sad testament to your life -apparently. On a side note, I used to op other chans that are far bigger -than this chan. I didn't get ops by k/b'ing everyone in sight or anyone that -carried a touch of annoyance to me. I reserved k/bs for spammers and -flooders, that's it. Everyone else I /ignored -% -Swadi Ghilan's two sons were dropping their sister off at high school -earlier this year when a carload of Sunni Muslim insurgents pulled up and -emptied their AK-47s into their bodies. In broad daylight his children were -torn to pieces, their blood splashed against the windshield as they screamed -and died ohh yeah -% -excuse me, but i politely ask you to cease your torpid attempts at -manifesting versimilitude through your crude preferences of internet -lexicon. my comprehension of the english language is brobdingnagian, -effortlessly micrifying your picayune and odious disposition, of which has -already saturated me with a pullulating impression of ennui coupled with -execration. good day. -% -Some advice to you gentoo users out there: Why don't you emerge yourself -from that closet already you damn homo. -% -My computer typing skills surpass any of your so called 'talents'. I can -type 'internet relay chat' in the time it takes you to type 'IRC' (by the -way, acronyms are so pass�). I have 6 custom developed Das Keyboards -programmed to a vast array of languages. They are strategically placed -across my 3 tier, Mahogany desktop that I had customed ordered from France. -I can communicate with 3 different people simultanously while coding the -README updates for my unix distribution. Did I mention I have the all-time -high score on Mavis Beacon? You have nothing on my impressive typing skills. -Thought so. -% -The way I look at it, you atheists are basically like this: "Look at me, -world...I can debunk your faith in God and leave you applauding my -perception and intelligence to bring forth the truth." Sorry, I've already -forgotten your name, but the name of God will stand forever. -% -I am pleased to announce that, in addition to having spotless tiles and -grout in my bathroom, my hands are several orders of magnitude cleaner than -yours. My fingernails all but sparkle in the daylight, due to their highly -polished status. Upon examination under a scanning electron microscope, you -will notice that the crevices of my hands are quite literally free of germs -or other bacterial growths. Your hands, in comparison, are a veritable -wasteland of urine, dust mites, blood mixed feces, skin cells, and pet -dander. Your hygiene cannot even begin to compare to mine. Good day. -% -A military-grade GPS transponder is integrated into my brilliant blue HUD -which is projected stereoscopically onto the inside of my windshield giving -the effect of a gentle, and indeed quite entrancing, box of luminous -information about my own decadence floating 10-15 meters in front of my -exquisite sedan. Good day. -% -Overweight, rubber-faced men lurking near commercial business centers or -shopping mall food courts during the morning hours? Stay away from these -people, they could be hamburglars. -% -People totally underestimate children's sexuality. Did you know even babies -can get erections? -% -That 'I work my ass off' shit is so 90's. Here in the 0's robots do our -work, Cletus. Get the fuck back to Amish country with that work ethic shit. -% -My blog is utterly inundated with trackbacks from across the globe. Past -commenters on my posts include U2 frontman Bono, His Majesty King Mohammed -IV of Morocco, and former UN Secretary-General Boutros-Boutros Ghali. I've -written over three thousand mind-stimulating and thought provoking entries -dating back to 1995, and I've received over ten million comments, all from -unique ip ranges.There has never been a single spam comment post that lasted -more than 0.25 seconds due to superior spam detection software which I have -written myself and ported to several popular blogging packages. You cannot -even begin to compare to me. -% -Sorry to burst your musical bubble, but the bands you listen to were -overwhelmingly influenced by the bands I listened to four years ago. Try to -keep up. -% -My musical interests are so vast i cannot even begin to explain them using a -keyboard. Go back to reading Pitchfork everyday trying to find the song that -describes your life to a T; it won't be hard I'm sure. -% -Excuse me, but that troll you just pasted is over ten years old; i've -perused my logs and found myself referencing said troll over two hundred -times. Thank you. -% -You see that crystal salt cellar in my Amazon wish-list? That will set you -back $27,000 at Hammacher-Schlemmer. Incidentally, I own four. Go back to -your Livejournal and post about ordering twenty five cent Chinese Food -takeout with your drunken frat friends; you're quite out of your element -here. -% -My digital music library is vast and unrivaled, consisting of only the most -pristine lossless audio files ripped from the original DAT/DDS recordings -(with pre-mixdown and pre-master sister copies, of course). My inside -sources supply me with copies of the newest albums before even the artists -themselves have heard the final cuts. Incidentally, you've never heard of -99% of these bands, nor could you ever hope to comprehend their genius nor -appreciate their obscurity. -% -Guys that are uncircumcised are repulsive to me. People go in and out of -public washrooms so fast you know they didn't wash their hands with soap. -Can only imagine how much stinky smeg must be down there. There was one guy -I was with that was uncut. He was only four inches and that didnt last. The -first to say it doesnt matter are small men. Its brilliant luck the guys -I've been with have been 8-10 inches so far. Uncut is such an aversion, it -makes me want to ask right away to weed them out. -% -i tried to commit suicide so i took a bunch of pills but i was upset when -the pills i thought said "die" actually said "diet" :(( i lost 5lbs tho :))) -% -I use the latest versions of Adobe Photoshop as soon as they are released. I -have 5 versions of Macromedia Flash installed on my computer. My computer -syncs with many 'blogs' to find out the latest release information on new -products that I immediately download from a p2p (Peer To Peer) server which -I have exclusive access to. I am a website designer; I also do myspace -website designs with skillful grace. I listen to a lot of indie music but I -was the original indie fan before it sold out and got popular. I also like -emo (emotional) music. I went on a drug binge when I was 16 and lost my -virginity to a truck driver behind a Pak'n'Save. Brb, I gotta cut myself. Do -you want to see my blog? PS. How do I make those clouds? -% -You know what pushes my buttons? You know what makes my bubbles pop? You -know what raises the hairs on my ass? You know what tickles my fancy? You -know what thaws my ice cubes? You know what gets my cripples standing? You -know what formats my hard drive? You know what drains my fluids? You know -what ticks my clock? You know what shoots my target? You know what -neutralizes my pathogenic agents? You know how much I paid to get you into -college? You little shit. -% -Gentlemen, I am pleased to announce that in addition to having leech access -to the most elite 0-day courier FTPs, I have thousands of shell accounts, -each of which are capable of running an unlimited number of processes with -eggdrop/IRC support. My botnet is unfathomably large. -I have access to hundreds witty IRC vhosts, using every existing TLD. I -connect to them using an unreleased version of mIRC with every feature you -could possibly desire, including the most powerful WARTOOLS. This is all -powered by my $5,000 premium Dell computer system. You cannot even begin to -compare to me. -% -THE PURPOSE OF LANGUAGE IS COMMUNICATION AND IF YOU CAN UNDERSTAND IT -DESPITE SPELLING/GRAMMAR FLAWS AND YOU ARE ABLE TO CORRECT IT THEN SAID -COMMUNICATION WAS EFFECTIVE AND YOU ARE A FAGGOT. -% -So I was having lunch with my good friend Jerry Bruckheimer at a local -restraunt, and we were discussing Top Gun. One thing that struck me about -Top Gun that I never really knew why Goose died. So Jerry, or Jerr-Bear as -he's known by his friends, let me in on a little secret. He told me that at -the time of Goose's death, he was chewing gum and that the excessive juice -that was being excreted from his chewing the gum caused him to lose control -and die. And this just wasn't any chewing gum, it was Bubblicious. And this -just wasn't any Bubblicious flavor, it was a flavor called Lebron James' -Loopy Lemonade gum. So if you see this flavor of gum at the stores, please -do not buy it because it killed Goose. -% -is it possible i could have bought a bootleg pci sata card? it says -siclicon image 3112 but its not working right and the bios has grammar -errors. wtf? -% -Anyone who says "F/OSS" is a tool. Free software hates Open Source because -Open Source is the little sell out movement that doesn't give a fuck about -the ideals. It's like True vs. Nu metal. Stop associating Free Software -even remotely with Open Source because those of us in the Free Software -movement probably hate you. -% -I scoff at your claim that your windows environment can even begin to -compare to mine. I have thousands upon thousands of fonts, and my wallpaper -is a massive 2GB at a whopping 14,000 dpi in glorious 128-bit color. My -onscreen text is antialiased with the latest ClearType technology, and -remains brilliantly legible even behind 10, nay, 20 transparent window -panes. Clicking my Start button triggers a fanfare and a choir of haunting -angelic voices as you stagger back in awe of my stunning 45,000 item Start -Menu. -% -This is discrimination! Just because I have a -job- I should have tax -dollars taken away from me and given to slovenly brutish underclass, who -refuse to work and instead attempt to mug me every time I pick up a male -prostitute downtown?? -% -one time i was in my friends bathroom taking a shit and i was reading a -maxim magazine that was by the toilet and saw some semi nude shots of some -model (i dont even remember who) and i had the sudden urge to masturbate. i -continued to do so and cleaned up and went out as if nothing happened. it -was exhilarating and i wanted to do it again. so i did. several times. i -even asked to use his shower so i could secretly masturbate in there. i like -doing this because it's a top secret that only i know, and i can laugh about -stuff and no one will ever know. i also like to masturbate on days in which -key events happened. 9/11 being my TOP yearly ritual. "never forget" about -christmas and thanksgiving. sometimes mark-paul gosselaar's birthday when i -can remember it. -% -Recently, as a reward for getting straight 'A's I took my son to a CompUSA -and told him he could have any computer he wanted. Imagine my disgust when -he selected a mac mini. It's as if I took him to a whorehouse for his first -lay and he wound up getting head from the bouncer. Where did I fail as a -father? -% -Pepsi generation refers to the generation of free radicals in your system -when you imbibe this caustic brew. Parents, if you have any regard for the -health of your children, do not allow them to drink this devil beverage -which promotes among other ills: skateboarding, loud music, drug (caffine) -use, disrespect to elders, race mixing and in general, the kind of eXtreme -living expressly forbid by the our lord and savior, Mohammed in the holy -Korang. (PBUH) -% -I was recently made the victim of an ICMP "flood". After hurricane Katrina, -it is inexcusable that this kind of thing should happen. It is now crystal -clear that Bush doesn't care much about net people. -% -I'D LOVE TO BE THE ONLY FEMALE AT A "SUPER-BOWL" PARTY MADE UP OF 4-6 MEN! -THE MEN TALK ME INTO MAKING A FRIENDLY WAGER ON THE 1/2 TIME SCORE. IF THE -FELLAS TEAM IS LOSING AT 1/2 TIME...I GET $1000.00...IF THE TEAM THEY CHOSE -IS WINNING...THEY ALL GET "ME" TO DO AS THEY PLEASE!!! -% -The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle -to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political -stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next -generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security -while you're actually being screwed. -% -Linux was never "free" in either sense of the word. You may have had -downloaded Linux onto your computer for free but someone paid for it. In my -case, does anyone know how I can trade child porn with other Linux -enthusiasts. Hit me back. -% -I believe that racial profiling is another necessary evil. Its existence is -the fault of the G-Unit, a popular "hip-hop" artist, whose name is clearly -the subliminal message "GUN IT". He is reinforcing the concept in the noble -white mind that rappers today are the tool of satan, coaxing the young and -uneducated nigger into a life of violence by instructing him to deal with -his problems using firearms. -% -Linux is an OS where files have no association to programs; all -configuration and settings are stored "wherever" in text files that grow to -be megabytes long; most shell commands are so abstractly named that you -would never be able to use them without knowing how they work.. or first -reading its "manual page". -Linux is an operating system of inconsistancy. Theres over a thousand -distributions of linux, and over a billion different modified versions of -it. Programs come shipped as source code that you must compile and configure -(by way of large scripts that attempt to figure out how your system is -running.. since nothing is standard). -% -Linux is a form of mental sickness; a security blanket left over from the -childhood of the Computer Age. The sooner "Tux" and his travelling freak -show pack it up and move on, the better. -% -Any east slim/lean chinese nsf/nsreg/sec/jc/scouts/npcc/ncc uniform boys -intrested roleplay kidnapping/tying up fun in full uniform attire? 23 chn -male 171 100 fat guy here in Bedok North. Pls mesg me if intrested, thanks. -% -Surprisingly, my healthy pussy emanates a fragrance EXACTLY like steaming -hot french fries from McDonald's. Days when the smell is particularly -strong, it makes me long for a large Dr Pepper with plenty of ice. And it -makes my stomach growl, particularly in the mornings. -% -girl, you must be a basic land card, because i just tapped you and now i got -mana burn -% -I just got back from my trip to Africa and man was it great! First we landed -in South Africa and while there I actually got to meet Nelson Mandela. He -was a very gracious and interesting host. -Then we were on to Kenya. While there I got to see lions and elephants in -the wild. A rhino actually chased the hummer we were riding in, but I think -the driver prompted it to. I also saw a few giraffes and crocs. Then we went -up to Nigeria and saw the different cultures of people that were there. I -actually got to visit and internet cafe and check my emails! Then we got a -guided tour down the Niger River. Man that was the funnest part of the -entire tour. I saw several large snakes hanging from trees and lots of -crocodiles. Then we saw a gang of Ubangi-Lips rape a 6 year old girl and eat -her father afterwards. It was awesome. -% -one time i tried to stick an egg back into a chicken, i think it gave the -chicken an orgasm because all this liquid came out all over my hands and the -chicken started to squawk and flap its wings. maybe im weird but this was a -major turn-on! -% -I need pictures of your fingernails for a research project I am doing for -Columbia University. Preferably extreme closeup of your cuticles. If you -could cut them slightly open with a razor blade, just so a little blood -leaks onto them.. that would be awesome. -% -girl, you must be gasoline because even though you're pricey, I'm still -going to pump you in my van -% -Whoa! If flames were an alternative power source, this would be a nuclear -reactor. Very good trolling, sir! I laud your recent accomplishments and -expect to read of your exploits in the latest trolling journals. -% -girl you must be Six Flag's newest roller coaster because some rednecks told -me that they have been saving up their money all summer to ride you -% -girl you must be a black market organ harvester cause you just stole my heart -% -girl you must be Doom 3 cause when the action starts the lights go out -% -girl you must be open source because the entire fucking high school class -has seen your internal workings and tinkered with them -% -Your "guess" is completely wrong. Just because animals can't talk doesn't -mean they can't give consent. Animals have teeth, claws and can give audible -warnings (growling, hissing, etc.) to voice their opposition to a sex act -being performed on them. - Also, many animals are quite intelligent and have a much faster -neurodevelopmental rate than humans, reaching mental adulthood at extremely -young ages by human standards. Finally, many animals are fully grown at much -younger ages than humans, so they're physically prepared for sex at younger -ages. - Comparing animals to children is absolutely ridiculous, and in some ways -even insulting to animals. Please do your homework before adopting a stance -on an issue you got from a blatantly-conservative source. -% -I hate this hypocritical bullshit. So I can can take a cow, shoot it in the -face, cut out its tongue, gut it, cut it into million cubes and eat them, -then wear it's skin...but I can't love one? I can't make one feel special? I -can't physically express all the love I have for it? Fuck America. -% -I prefer to open the conversation with light banter about my wardrobe and -jewelry, then I like to discuss my collection of expensive cars. This is -more than enough to convince you to have sexual intercourse with me. -% -Go back to jacking off to your anime girls. Leave the real women to real men. -% -There's something hypocritical about a country that fails to establish -adequate limits to medical testing on animals and adequate guidelines for -treatment of fur and meat animals yet makes the sale of all crush videos -(including those depicting the extermination of bugs, worms and rats) -illegal. -% -girl you must be herpes because every time I think i'm rid of you, there you -are on my dick -% -girl you must be ghonorrea because you're totally eating my nuts -% -Y'ALL HURD ABOUT DA HEERRIKANE? YO KATRINA WAS CAUZED BY WMDs YA HEARD? -DAS RITE YO. WEAPONS OF METEORLOGICAL DESTRUCTION. DA INSURGENTS ND DA -TALIBAN R BEHIND ALL DIS. ND FEMA IS RACIZICALIST TOO. BUSH DON'T CARE -ABOUT BLACK PEEPLE. -% -No, actually, I am not fat. I have about a 10% bodyfat, actually. I lift -weights all the time that I am not playing video gamez (ps2 sucks). -% -Thank you for giving me a glimpse into the wonderfully vivid and imaginative -world that you occupy. I feel...honored...to say the least. Words can not -express my gratitude that you would grant upon us put a peephole into the -glorious universe that you are so priviledged to occupy from 9-5 every -single weekday. I am envious but I know it is because God has favored you -above me...you are TRULY worthy. -% -I love both dog cock and Negro cock, but that is hardly any reason to make -either dogs or Negroes American citizens. Just as there will be ways to -enjoy Chinese food without flooding America with Chinese asylum-seekers, -there will be ways for you to enjoy Negro cock without allowing large -numbers of Negroes to roam about destroying American infrastructures. -% -one time this guy showed me his 'drug free' tattoo so one day me and my -buddies pinned this guy down and injected him with heroin. he was kicking -and screaming and we all laughed and the next day we found out he killed -himself LOL -% -Fuck them boo boos I guess some of those jack asses should have cashed their -welfare check and gotten some swimming lessons instead of blowing it on -hennessy, spinning rims, and crack! -% -The cowardly, girly-men faggot Muslim and Arab subhumans are quite another -matter. Islamists do not accept the United States as it is, and actively -want to change it into a majority Muslim country where the Quran replaces -the Constitution. The lib-dems run "PC interference" for America-haters, -obscuring the true details and the important dialogue on all issues. We love -"diversity" and "multi-culturism", don -% -Last weekend I slept over at a friend's house, but forgot to bring an extra -pair of underwear. He offered to let me borrow a pair of his. Well, we went -for a long car ride, and long story short...I shit in his underwear. Not a -lot, but whoever did the laundry would definitely notice. When we got home, -I pulled him aside and told him about it. "Pull down your pants. I want to -see the damage," he replied. I was somewhat taken aback by this response. It -was his underwear after all, so I obliged. I pulled down my pants, and then -carefully lowered my underwear. I was surprised by how much shit there -really was. There were streaks all over my legs from when I had pulled the -shorts down, and my penis was covered in shit. How had it even gotten that -far?"Jesus," he exclaimed. "That's a lot of shit." Then he got down on his -knees and licked the underwear clean. When he was done with that, he slurped -the shit off my cock and balls. What a day! -% -How on earth do i open taorent files? when i try openoing with winzip or win -rar it tells me teh file is damaged ?? -% -jesus I spent the formative years of my childhood masturbating to a shemale -sprite -% -My hole day in skateboarding is just wake up when ever you feel like it eat -then go meet a few friends skate chill skate get something to eat then skate -chill run from the pigs and skate then go to sleep about 4 or 5 in the -morning. -% -Jeff's balls are about 3 inches in diameter. They are green and hairy. When -in public, Jeff will often expose his balls as a way of calming a crowd. -Often in a fit of anger Jeff will whip one of his balls at someone who is -misbehaving. Most people prefer not to come in contact with Jeff's balls. -% -It is indeed a cruel twist of nature that the most wonderful sex coupling in -the world ?is illegal - made so by puritanical Adults determined to limit -child rights. -% -im a computer geek?? im not the one who spends his time on multiple forums, -im not the one who comes here day and night for almost every day of the week -and talks about making fun of people on the internet. christ, get a life -% -As someone erotically attracted to balloons, a question close to my heart -is "to pop or not to pop?" Flame wars over this very issue take up a -significant amount of space on the balloon fetish chatrooms I frequent. I -find that while non-poppers feel an emotional attachment to balloons and can -get quite protective of their inflatable friends; poppers such as myself see -no point to jerking off with balloons unless they explode. Your thoughts? -% -When the female of a species is more promiscuous, the male has to work -harder to keep his woman, and thus reproduce. It is easier for him to keep -her entertained if he has a more impressive dick, which means that the -better endowed male can reproduce more than another male who is not so well -endowed. In a species where the women are more loyal, this isn't so -necessary. So if the coons have the biggest penises, all that tells you is -that the blacks have humanity's most slutty women. I'm prepared to believe -that that is true. -% -Wow you're life is so complete. Havning to use a drug to have fun and -listening to sucky music must make you so cool. Partying with women who have -been passed around more times then your mom must make you a pimp. -% -if you want people to think you know what you are talking about, just put -".com" at the end of everything you say.com -% -so i get home from work, ready to cook some chicken things in the microwave -(oven is broke), i read the instructions to see about how long to put them -in for.. the damn instructions say, for microwave cooking, to put them in -the microwave for 3 minutes AND THEN put them in a oven for 15. hey -stouffers you lame retarded fucks, if i had a god damn oven i would use the -shit to begin with. it's called microwave cooking for a reason. THANK YOU -COME AGAIN -% -At first, the idea sounded unthinkable. Use my hand to wipe my ass? -Disgusting! But after 10 minutes of waiting, I decided that it was my only -option. I slowly lowered my right hand under my butt and scooped all the -fecal matter from my bottom. Not only did it feel gross, but now I had a -whole new set of problems. One simply does not walk out of a bathroom stall -in a public restroom with one hand covered in shit. I sat there petrified, -hoping for a miracle. But no miracles came. I was alone. Or so I thought. A -knock on the stall door sprang me into action. "One second," I called out, -and in one quick movement I shoved the defacation into my mouth. When I tell -this story, what most people find most surprising was that I didn't gag -immediately. In fact, the stuff tasted rather good. Scratch that...it was -orgasmic. And the texture - there is nothing like it. After swishing the -poop cusisine around my mouth for a few moments, I gulped it down. Up until -that moment, I hadn't realized how hungry I was. Suddenly, I wanted more, -and fast! With my pants still at my ankles, I threw open the stall door and -grabbed the elderly gentleman who had been patiently waiting. "Give me all -your shit, and make it fast." By the end of that glorious day, I had tasted -the shit of more than 100 men, and a few women too. -% -As I was reading that, my cat rubbed against my leg, and it surprised me. -But it felt kind of good, so I let her continue. After about five minutes of -this, I was feeling pretty horny, and from her erect nipples, I could tell -my cat was too. I picked her up and put her in my lap. She purred as I -unzipped my pants, revealing my enormous boner. Then, without warning, she -bit the head of my penis with her sharp fangs. Blood was everywhere, and i -stared in horror as she began to claw at my blood-spattered testicles. I -grabbed a pair of scissors and snipped off her tail. She meowed loudly and -scurried away. I guess we were not ready to take our relationship to the -next level. -% -Is it not weirder to drink cow's milk which is truly intended for baby cows? -The answer: Hell no! The only thing weirder than me drinking breast milk, is -the fact that milk is coming out of my wife's chest in the first place. It -sure as hell didn't do that when I met her. I'm telling you, the whole thing -is lunacy. I love my wife, but does she really have to be such a mammal? -% -Some say that I am the king of trolls. Of course, this is ridiculous because -trolls have no king and accept no authority. -% -Don�t let anybody ever tell you that Japan is just another foreign country. -It is much more than that. My story begins in the summer of 1983. I was an -expert negotiator, and that was what brought me to an exclusive resort -outside of Tokyo. Two large Japanese electronics companies were attempting a -merger of some sorts. After two fruitless days of negotiations, I figured -out a way to make everybody happy. I made some phone calls, and pretty soon -all the executives were standing in the conference room, glaring angrily at -me. �Gentlemen, may I present, Ling.� A buxom young Japanese schoolgirl -entered the room. What she lacked in age, she made up for in sex appeal. The -room went silent. I was terrified. Had I made a mistake? Suddenly, the -executives all burst out laughing. Then, one by one, each executive removed -his pants and began furiously masturbating over the young female, while I -stood watching. Even now, as I write this, I am getting an erection, -thinking about all those precious little penises waving wildly about. -Finally, after the last load had erupted onto the face of the girl, whose -slanted eyes were almost completely covered in goo, I walked up to her and -lapped up every last drop of milky goodness. Oh, how I love Japan. -% -Every time somebody starts hating on the president, it really bothers me. -Don�t get me wrong, I hate the current administration as much as the next -politically minded citizen, but it�s really self-defeating. You see, the -president is not really who you think he is. He�s not the guy who makes -these decisions that piss you off. He looks like he makes the decisions. He -sounds like he is making the decisions. In reality, he�s just the guy that -has to sell them to you. He is an actor, pretending to care about the -country. He probably even believes he is actually the president. That�s one -of the reasons why people like him at all. Another reason is that he sucks a -lot of dick. And when I say a lot, I am not kidding. Like, we�re talking -millions of big, wet, floppy cocks getting shoved in his mouth over the past -month alone. -% -Let me get this straight: the oil companies pressure the U.S. government -into invading Iraq, and then they expect us to be grateful when they donate -a measly $4k to the hurricane relief effort? An effort, by the way, that has -been severely hampered by the fact that most members of the national guard -are currently halfway across the world. There's no way for them to come back -to help out, and even if they could, those guys are exhausted. One of my -buddies from high school joined the national guard and ended up in Iraq, of -all places. He told me that between the constant bombings, the desert heat, -the buttfucking, the cumguzzling, the gangbanging, and the surprise -circumcisions, there is hardly any time to sleep. -% -last night i had this dream that i was going to the bathroom, like pissing -in a full size urinal (all the way from the ground up, like 4 feet high), -when all of a sudden i look to my right and there is this old lady standing -next to me doing like the fake pissing thing, holding nothing, and staring -at my wang, which is now hard. all of a sudden she jumps into my urinal, -note i am still pissing, and shoves my cock into her mouth and starts giving -me head. don't forget i am still pissing. so she's goin down on me like -she hasn't had cock in 40 years, which she probably hasn't and i finish -pissing all over her, so i reach over and flush and just leave. she sits -there in the urinal as i leave and there is this indian couple, the wife is -pregnant, who is just coming into the bathroom wondering what the hell i am -doing. i wave and smile and say hello, at which point i casually walk out -of the bathroom. when i get out of the bathroom my company is having a -meeting so i sit down and all of a sudden this retarded guy who works here -starts beating me up, at which point i wake up. -% -I often find myself contemplating what it would be like if an elephant threw -up but its mouth was closed. Would it throw up out its trunk? And if so, -that leads me to my next question: Would it make that elephant noise when -the throw-up comes out? I have played this scenario in my head every day and -night for the last ten years and the more I think about it the more firmly -convinced am I that the answer to both questions is in the positive. Discuss. -% -I'd love to have a man as my girlfriend and who would greet me each morning -in a new an refreshing way. A spray of hot piss, a dick up the ass, an ass -pressed against my face, farts in my face, all the while waking up to a -beautiful man on some dim morning sunrise, light shining through the -curtains onto his perfectly formed pectorals and the silk sheets layed upon -his body reveleaing enough of his penis to make me realise how lucky and how -wonderful i am. I prefer men and I date exclusively black men. -% -The first thing you need to understand is that the government does not -represent the people. It represents the corporations. The second thing you -need to understand is that hurricane Katrina is not a natural disaster. It -was a product, paid for by the U.S. government, and created by a -Chinese-built weather device. Think about it: who benefits from a natural -disaster like this? First and foremost, construction companies. New Orleans -needs to be completely rebuilt. Second, the government. Every moment of -airtime that the president gets to talk about saving lives rather than the -war in Iraq means another vote in the next election. Lastly, mankind -benefitted a little from all those niggers drowning. -% -The existence of "foreigners" is a common liberal myth. The self-styled -intellectual elite, attempting to push their own petty agendas on the rest -of us, invented the idea of "foreigners" to lay a guilt trip on the rest of -the country. - -FACT: Nothing exists outside the US! There is only vast ocean, we occupy the -entirety of Pangea. (The existence of multiple continents is yet another -liberal myth, which we'll discuss next time). - -FACT: Although the "foreigners" lie was created and popularized by liberals, -it has recently been picked up by conservatives. The Bush administration -relies heavily on scare tactics involving hostile "foreigners" as a way of -grabbing unconstitutional levels of power. - -FACT: You may meet people in daily life who claim to be "foreigners" and -illegal "immigrants". These people are merely telling you that false story -because they're trying to get out of paying taxes. - -FACT: "Foreign" languages are simply elaborate codes used by spies to talk -in secret. These spies are everywhere, and they are determined to steal your -genes for use in horrible cloning experiments. Don't trust anyone who speaks -a "foreign" language! - -FACT: The word "foreign" comes from the combination of "for" and "reign". -The word was invented for reign-for perpetuating the reign of dishonest -liberals and unconstitutional governments. Don't let them fool you! -% -There is no reasonable expectation of privacy in the world because there -never was one to begin with. You can't lose something you never had. - We live in a web of interconnecting lives. Our actions have -long-reaching effects on others, as theirs do on ours. The idea that a -single man may live as a hermit in the midst of the civilized world is both -absurd and problematic for being such a popular idea. - Privacy doctrine in this country has existed for one purpose: shielding -domestic violence from public scrutiny. The whole -private-sphere/public-sphere distinction arose so that some men could -prevent other men from interfering in what they manage to pull off behind -closed doors. Marital rape and worse violences have always been justified as -located in the mystical private sphere. - As you cling to the arbitrary notion of privacy, you're doing little -more than empowering men to rape and torture women. - It's time we got rid of the private/public distinction. No one ever had -any actual privacy; merely artificially imposed curtains that conceal -malicious actions by some against others. If this does anything to undermine -public respect for such a morally bankrupt institution as privacy, then I'm -all for it. -% -Gimp is perfectly usable. I know. I use it to add a mosaic over the faces of -my many preteen rape victims. -% -you don't understand,you don't realise that the internet is a form of -communicating and it's just as serious as talking in person or on a phone. -Stop with the bullshit. -% -I've been in the feceshape hobby for a good three years now. There's just -something about being able to manipulate the shape of my poop by squeezing -my bowels that appeals to me. Plus, when I'm 80 I'll have such control -there'll be no need to worry about messing myself. -% -Nigerians make me so mad I wish someone would round them all up and send -them to a country where people starve and get gunned down in the street -% -My son has always been a fan of Captain Planet. He has every episode on VHS -and watches is roughly 12 hours a day. Recently I caught him licking Captain -Planet's wang on the television screen while massaging his penis with a -Captain Planet action figure. Is this normal? What should I do? -% -I am a substitute teacher for grades K-5 and I was awarded a gold star for -starting a movement in my school for "story holes" in which any student -could go into a bathroom and sit down and someone read them a story through -a hole in the bathroom wall. -% -I'm an Apple zealot, I'm typing this on a Mac Mini, and I'm going to be -clicking submit with my one mouse button. Eat your hearts out you gaggle of -pock-marked, basement-dwelling, subhuman F/OSS advocates. -% -whistle core is actually popular in japan it caught quite well and know -where seeing various new whistle core bands come out of the country like the -blue mist dogs, fire in the attic, lazor beem, robo boy vs the laviathan and -various others its just a matter of time till they hit the charts here -% -Dude you have to own one first to understand, people that hate them haven't -owned them. I owned two and flipped them both, luxury eddie bauers one had -20s on it and a TV inside with a ps2 man, flipped them both nearly killed -me...But I still fucking love suvs -% -BLACK MOE YOU FILTHY SILVER TOOTHED SUBHUMAN NIGGER SCUM-TELL YOUR CUM -SUCKING 550LB MOM TO CLEAN THE HORSE CUM OFF HER SCABBY MOUTH OR I WONT SHIT -DOWN HER CUM SLURPING THROAT-THEN WHEN SHE BLOWS YOU-YOU CANTASTE MY SHIT -% -I have two fetishes that sort of scare me. No it's not dog sex or -pedophilia. First is facesitting. I want a girl to sit on my face, -preferably while mostly clothed or something because an asshole that close -to my nose would probably make me vomit. Secondly is something called WAM. -It's girls getting hit with pies or having chocolate pudding poured on them -or rolling around in creamed corn. Anything Wet And Messy, thus the name -WAM. I'm pretty sure it comes from watching You Can't Do That On Television -as a kid. I was shocked to find out that there was actually a pretty big -internet community devoted to it where I can find grown women getting slimed. -% -"Shh," Snape said, their mouths very close. He lifted his hand off Harry's -erection and smoothed it over his cheek. It was a breathless sort of moment, -in a series of moments. Harry looked at Snape's face, enjoying the sensual -transformation. Features normally so severe softened by desire, flushed, -glistening. Harry didn't have time to wonder what Snape saw in his own face, -for Snape was kissing him again. -% -Remember when morgan freeman played that high school principal with the bat -and he caught the kids singing in the bathroom and he made them sing the -school song and the fat kid was a crack smoker. when he called all the -trouble makers up to the stage during that assembly and they are all raising -hell and shit and there is one white kid on the stage, well that white kid -turned out to be none other than new jersey�s own recovering addict of the -mafia in the Sopranos: Chris Moltesante. -% -I have always fantasized about being a doll. like one of those real dolls, -only my owner doesn't know I'm in there. They think I'm just a doll, when -really I am enjoying everything that is bring done to me. Having no control -of my body, being dominated completely, and then being put away when I'm not -being used. However, I know that this is not possible in the real world, -which saddens me. I however I'm sure there is someone out there that would -gladly own me and treat me like their doll. Change my outfits daily, use my -for their own sexual desires. and then when their not using me, keep me in a -locked box in the closet, sometimes for days at a time. Only to be taken out -when my owner wanted to use me some more. -% -The strangest blow job I ever experienced was when I went to visit Shaq and -friends in the locker room when he was still playing for LA. They held me -down while Kobe held my mouth open and Shaq rammed his elephant trunk man -hammer into my mouth. I immediately started gagging and throwing up but the -meat missle was so big it held the barf back and it went into my stomach -instead. Then they took me into the shower and proceeded to turn me into -the team pin cushion, it was like I was a tapestry in a sewing maching I got -skewered for hours and I loved it. They finished off my visit with Shaq -punching me in the throat and taking a huge dump on my forehead and making -me lick his balls while he decorated my skull. It was great. I love black -cock, I can't get enough its like catnip. -% -Fly catching is a hobby of mine. Whenever I successfully catch a fly, I go -into the bathroom and I fill the bathtub up with warm water till it's deep -enough that only the head of my penis sticks out of the water. Next, I rip -the wings off of the fly and place the fly upon the tip of my Cock--the -penis "head". Not having anywhere to go, the cute lil fly runs around upon -the tip of my Cock, creating a most arousing sensation.Try it yourself !! -% -I heard this story from an M.D. in Japan. It was during WWII. A bunch of -Japanese soldiers had rounded up 3 or 4 Korean women. They proceeded to fuck -them in every orifice, but there weren't really enough to go around. So one -of the soldiers bayonets one of the girls in the stomach so that he can have -a place to fuck too. The feeling was so great that the others all start -taking turns in her stomach too. -% -no not really i just see them as mentally ill ..something thats encoded in -their brains to love the opposite sex is backwards..and their phormones are -fucked also..i hope science can find out a way to fix it....not because i -dont like gays but because if u see a kid throw a baseball the wrong way -dont u wanna help them throw it properly? -% -Before my last job interview, my hair was really messy, so I went into a -washroom to tidy it up. But the plumbing wasn't working right, so I couldn't -get water out of the taps. My only solution was to urinate in my hands and -use that to do my hair. I got the job. -% -You don't think Bill will include the multiple tab feature in IE with -Longhorn's release? Hopefully when that happens it'll shut you Fire-fags up. -% -girl you must be harry potter because my dick is slytherin -% -Did you know that us niggers werer the first people on this planet and that -every race in the world evolved from us we were the first developed primates -and there were and still are great black minds like Plato, -Shakespeare,Socrates,W.E.B dubois,Fredric Douglas........ you fail to -realize we created you and we can take you away just as easily,we once ruled -this world and this world shall return to its original owners like it was -before you devils came along and fukced it up . We had great civilazations -in Africa such as Timbuktu,Kush,Egypt,Nubia, ek cetera who taught Mathmatics -and liturature to the greeks,Arabs,Romas,s and of course caucs after we -civilized the world they turned around a stabed us in the back and clamed it -there selves and take credit for what we started and every time a nigger -moves up in high ranking yall get scared coz you know what we are capible of -doing but our day is coming soon when that black man you know as jesus comes -back you"ll see. oh yeah Hitler was a Fa9et and part jewish crackers!!!!!!If -you white you aint right. black pride world wide -% -What did the recycling bin say to the garbage can? "YOU'RE A PILE OF FAGGOT -TRASH!" , because the garbage was filled with gay porn mags. To which the -garbage can replied, " You are a bucket of thoroughly-washed juice and milk -containers, populated by an eco-friendly mid-20's socialist/liberal -democratic couple who no one will ever listen to" -% -I have been blessed and cursed with two hot ass cousins. Damn what I -wouldn't give to hit it. But I never will be able to without consequences. I -remember one time when she was 8 she wanted me to sleep in her bed with her -and we were going to touch each other. But I still believe in that God -fairytale so I turned it down. I still regret it. -% -there is a gay guy in my office, and he referred to hemmrhoids as speedbumps -% -For the record, If a guy wants to rape you by combining something with -Roofies, He's going to use something much more efficent than horse -tranquiler or whatever you think us frat boys are using these days, a good -rapist is going to use something along the lines of a brick. A simple slab -of concrete is actually the most dangerous killer in the sex crime kingdom, -one shot to the face with a brick and you will be ugly for life, and those -effects AREN'T TEMPORARY. You will also not be able to have children for -life, because they will be so afraid of their brickface of a mother that -they will cower in the womb forever. If you're worried about Progesterex -breaking out soon on campus's everywhere you should be even more worried -about being hit in the face by a brick while sitting in your neighborhood -bar, because unlike Progesterex, bricks are already here....BEWARE!!!! -% -whatever... come talk to me when -your- site wins a Webby -% -Go back to listening to your "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" book-on-tape in your 1989 -Honda Accord on your 25 minute commute to your dead end job. -% -So, I just got a job at Starbucks. It's part of my plan for global -domination. I'm going to tear the system down from the inside. -% -TIP FOR IRCERS #51: Bathe often, as personal odors are offensive to others -% -Actually, it is incorrect to call me a 'know-it-all' because God is the only -one that knows everything. -% -The case against marijuana legalization:Marijuana is not dissimilar to other -drugs, except in that its users seem to be rather slow witted after heavy -and extended use. You know the type. Tobacco and alcohol have their -disadvantages too though, so really marijuana is not too different. Except -that for some reason, marijuana users have been unable to make a convincing -case in favour of marijuana. They haven't won the argument at all, and their -lack of success can only be explained by the negative effects of marijuana -on their ability to put forward convincing and sophisticated arguments with -the charisma and social nous required to carry the day. This leads me to -think that marijuana is perhaps not as innocent as its advocates claim. If -it was it would be legal, wouldn't it? But the bumbling ineptitude and -stupidity of the typical stoner campaigner is a damning indictment of the -negative effects of marijuana. -% -You are either for the expansion of growth of the human population off the -earth and into space or you are for mass murder and restricted personal -liberty to control population growth here on earth. -% -Are you wealthy? I'm just curious if this influences your thinking. Is -your household income above the median of $51,000/year, or closer to the -90th percentile of household income of just under $125,000/year? -% -I was staying in this guy's apartment and I heard people having sex above -me. The moaning turned me on so I whipped my tool out and whacked it. Later -I found out the girl upstairs was being raped. I masturbated to a girl being -raped. How sad is that? Should I feel guilty? Who knows. It's not like I -knowingly did anything wrong. -% -Y'know, I may be a lame furry faggot but I bet you I can do stuff you guys -can't do. I'd like to see any of you guys make it as a professional poker -player :) -% -I started using Linux as a total n00b. I've done nothing but fixing, -adjusting, fixing, updating, trying, fixing, and oh, ... fixing - AND I LOVE -IT!!! -% -you have to be on malt liquor to fully appreciate it. To the average -american negro, slightly buzzed on malt liquor and dazed by the media -stimulus of sports and bigscreen TV.. The phone, and the ability to -communicate, even in the typical monosyllables of the subculture, is a -complete novelty. Thus, the "wazzup" commercial represents the wonder and -happiness that a group of young negroes finds in using the technology -% -GET ME TWO HORSES WITH THE BIGGEST FUCKING DICKS YOU CAN FIND, AND THEM IM -GONNA SUCK OFF ONE, WHILE JACKING OFF THE OTHER, AND IM NOT GONNA STOP TILL -IM BATHING IN BUCKETS OF CUM -% -the only solution is to go up there with your katana and show them who wears -the kimono in your dojo -% -My uncle works for Capcom and he let me play Street Fighter 4: The -Wreckoning and it has Sheng Long in it and he can do Guile's Handcuffs and -his wife is Blanka's birthmother and you can do uppercuts in the AIR (also -Breakfastalities) -% -RIP klerck!! :-( -% -Stone Cold Steve Austin just took you in his arms and superslammed you in -your bed, then read you a bedtime story and turnbuckled you into the shower -the next morning while suplexing the milk into your Captain Crunch cereal -% -fuck ya dude, ya site sucks crap, you be dissin us clowns u gona git beat -DOWN, u fuckin wit da Juggalo NATION straight up ya hatah biatch u betta -xplain youself becuz u gotta a lotta clownz ready to beat ur azz -% -i dont like the way you try to act like you're too smart or you're above -everything and hatred makes you stupid... no it doesn't and ur not above -this. ignorant is nothing but a word.... fake ass mother f-ucker is a mood -that you portray. gay is an expression used by us nowadays doesn't mean -literally gay. i should smack you for not knowing that. and yes it does make -them gay -% -I've spent far too much time absorbing bullshit ideals from anarchists. The -truth of the matter is, I just don't want to pay for anything whatsoever. -Britney CDs should be free because I think that somehow the constitution -protects my illegal copying and distribution under some freedom of speech -law or fair use act. Even though I don't have to go out and buy luxury -items, I'm gonna whine and bitch anyway. -% -Oh u FUCkIn RaCISt BItCh Dont b TalkIn To mA Kuzin LIKE DAt. u FUCkIN -TRiFoLIn IrISh diCK SUCkER...~N~ 1st of all i dont Why u tALkIn ABOut pEopLe -WHen UR Azz Iz ugLy Azz FUCk..1st U NeeD 2 b CheckIn ur Self den Talk BOut -PeopLe..! Dont hate Juz BEcause oTha PEOple COuld Eat MOre Than u Can n not -get F-A-T .. n because people are Prettier dan U..! -% -hi, i recently read about sex with insects and fine it fasinated me.i went -to a pet store and bought crickets. taking them home i put some in a jar and -lowered it over my cock and balls. the sensation of them crawling all over -was overwhelming and i orgasmed quickly. is this normal??? -% -I was wondering if anyone knows of surgeries that can correct elongated -labia, or if there's anything you can do to make them look more normal. -They look disgusting to me. I'm not a chick or anything, I just really hate -this. My girlfriend's "axe wound", if you will, looks like a bloated sea -zombie. Thanks in advanced. -% -girl you must be real networks because i cannot get at your media without -installing this ridiculous software -% -What's up with black people and sandwiches? It seems like every time I see -some illiterate welfare monkey jiving his ass down the street, he is busy -cramming half of a submarine sandwich into his ape-maw. Is this some kind of -nigger code for the imminent helter-skelter racewar? -% -I KNOW I JUST GOT HERE BUT YOU ARE ALL JUST THE COOLEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD -AND TOTALLY JUST LIKE ME!! WE SHOULD BE FRIENDS FOREVER AND THEN I GET OPS -% -Why fuss with KDE when you can buy an Apple? Why futz around with this? If -you want state of the art GUI, why not just buy a Mac? KDE may emerge as -great interface for your cell phone; but at the end of the day, it's just a -toy. Serious Unix developers are switching to Apple. -% -Of course you can get sick from eating poop. But you can get hurt and die in -an automobile wreck, too. Do you plan to avoid cars in the future? Of course -not. Knowledge of the consequences deters few cigarette smokers.You can not -catch any disease from the shit you eat that the donor did not have. My -"quality control" standards have served me well and I don't even know who -the donor was much less which diseases he had.Remember, not all shit is -created equally. Some shit really smells and tastes bad! More specifically, -a harsh acrid "smoky" odor and very bitter taste I consider bad. If it looks -bad or lacks the classic grogan appearance, I'd say lose it in a hurry. The -problem with being a bottom is that you can not be selective about the shit, -it comes prepackaged :-) Not always [usually not] the kind we'd like to -have. If you decide to proceed anyway, the most dire health consequence is -probably hepatitis, of course you can't get it unless he has it, in which -case you may get it from kissing, sucking, or rimming, etc.; so don't just -blame the shit. You can also pick up parasites and amoebae. If you get an -upset stomach, Tumms will usually help. I'm HIV negative, even after all -these years of eating shit from thousands of guys mostly anonymously, but I -have to admit that I have had to take Flagyl once or twice, and even now, I -clean myself out a couple times a year with Noroxin [one tab a day for 5 -days].If you have a problem and it lasts for more than five days or have -very severe symptoms: see a doctor and don't be bashful about telling him -what you did. It is wise to establish a good relationship with a physician -before you need one! You can avoid a lot of expensive diagnostics by just -suggesting he prescribe Noroxin or later if that doesn't work Flagyl.A final -thought here. Your toilet training and societal taboos are frequently -sufficient to cause you to worry or feel guilty after your first scat -experiences. This can cause you to conjure up psychosomatic illnesses -limited only by your imagination. Know yourself and be aware that this may -be a problem. -% -Need to be taken to dark side, expermented on, brought down to sub human -level. Have swallowed dog shit. Gotten into extreme pain. Had balls severly -abused and tortured. An y other sub humans out there need it as bad. Any -evil tops really into bringing a guy down? any other guys into blood? -% -girl u must be muslim cause im jihard as hell -% -Mathematically speaking, it would appear that you were a 2:1 favorite to -find the page you were looking for. Your click was questionable though given -the odds and the fact that any content on this site is likely to be crap -anyway. I wouldn\'t say that you.re a poor web surfer but I think it.s -highly unlikely that you could be a long term winner at higher stakes web -surfing. -% -go back to tabulating your ultimate apple dream machine on apple.com then -playing snes all night -% -Never clean up or shower here. The dried shit flakes off my body and -sometimes i'll brush a bit out of my beard. My head is shaved so it just -flakes off there too. Hell yes, I STINK. And my mouth smells like a sewer. -That's theway I like it! I may clear a few people out of a room when I walk -in but I haven't been thrown out of a Wallmart yet. -% -I shit into a tupper ware. I also like metal containers like the ones you -use for camping or in the military. then i freeze them or keep them in the -refrigerator for a few days. if you really seal the container tight, the -shit can be stored much longer. Have you ever tried to shove a frozen turd -up your ass? that is really hot, fuck yourself with your own turd. cool -% -I, too, prefer anyone I'm messaging to be literate and admit to a sneering -contempt for people who can't seem to break out of the "cute" Internet -misspellings and shortcuts. Children, grow up. -% -I got my 10 year old niece drunk and then penetrated her with a sharpie. I -later found out that the penetration had ruptured her vaginal walls, and her -mother accused my broher of being a child molestor as grounds for divorce. -He lost the case, and is now serving 20 years. -% -I'm not really gay, I just act that way to annoy/creep out people. -% -There is no god, because if there were, when my time of sorrow began, he -would have been there to help me. Why do I have an illness such as -depression, if supposedly god makes everyone that loves him happy? Fuck him -and his false offers. Fuck religion! -% -Greetings nerds. As you can clearly see, my Slashdot ID is far lower than -any of you can dream to have. Therefore all comments to this interesting -and controversial article will have to be replies to my comment. If you -fail to do this, I will search out your every post and mod them accordingly -with my vast amounts of accumulated mod points. You have been warned. Good -day. -% -BLOGGABLES ??? THE BLOGOSPHERE ??? BLOGOMATIC ??? SIMULBLOGCAST ??? ECOBLOGS -??? METABLOGS ??? BLOGS OF BLOGS ??? MEDIABLOGS ??? CATABLOG ??? UBERBLOG -??? BLOGSERVATION ??? RADIOBLOGS ??? BLOGSPIRATION ??? BLOGDEX ??? -BLOGDIGGER ??? BLOGLINES ??? BLOGPULSE ??? BLOGRUNNER ??? BLOGSNOW ??? -BLOGWISE ??? BLOGBRITY ??? BLOGS OF BLOGS TALKING ABOUT BLOGGING BLOGS ??? -% -woah! way to be sexist. i'm a girl hacker and exclusive linux user since -1998 and i'm certainly not alone -% -IMPORTANT NOTICE: anybody that has Windows XP 5.1 2600 release from -Devilsown, FCKGW-RHQQ2-YXRKT-8TG6W-2B7Q8 - GET OFF THE INTERNET NOW!!! -MICROSOFT IS ABOUT TO DO A SWEEP! -% -son, if you were a true music fan you would know that no good songs are 4/4 -go play with your fucking casio. -% -I got a 5+ on all 23 of my AP tests, a 2400 on the SAT, a 1337 on the ACT, -but it's not a big deal since I have a 270 IQ. I was drunk, high, and -getting a blowjob during every test, and I didn't study for any of them or -sleep in the prior weeks. -% -I dont even know what indie rock is, but it sure as fuck isnt going to get -you play with any of the girls I hang out with. -% -Okay, let's break it down, people.If you're a guy there is no such thing as -bisexual.There is only straight and gay.If you willingly touch a dick then -you are gay.If you willingly let a dick touch you then you are gay.If you -score anything other than zero on the Kinsey Scale: Gay.If you experimented -once when you were young and got married to a woman and had children and -lived a happy productive life forever after: Still gay.Yes, we know that you -don't like to be called gay but you chose the dick, now sleep with it."Bi" -is not different from gay it is just what homos call themselves.You can call -yourself a "striped bass" for all we care folks, you're still filthy faggots -and you're going to hell!!!! God isn't fooled. -% -Why must you trolls come to our forums and post stupid shit trying to rile -us up? Your posts don't even bother 99% of us, so just quit it. Any one -who agrees with me post the number "1" in this thread. -% -I am a node of server. Born of flesh and blood, but enhanced by the power of -its web. I have no use for pain or fear. My scripts are a focus of my will. -My strength is my knowledge. My weapons are my skills. Information is the -blood of my body. I am part of the greater network. I am host to the vast -data of server. My flesh is weak, but my connection is eternal; And -therefore, I am a god. -% -TO ALL THE BITCHEY 12 YEAR OLD SLIPCOCK FANS..PLEASE SHUT UP BEFORE YOU HURT -YOUR SELVES CRYING BLACK EYE SHADOW TEARS OF RAGE OVER MY -COMMENTS..OBVIOUSLY YOU NO IM CORRECT OTHERWSIE WHY WOULD YOU SHIT THAT MANY -TIMES IN YOUR PANTS OVER MY LONLEY COMMETNS!!YOU FUCK HEADS SHOULD SHUT UP -,QUIT SCHOOL(if you havent allready cause the kids dont ''get'' your -wigger,crack smoking nigger/jew fucking, garbage smelling italin ass) AND -GET A JOB AT THE CARWASH QUICK BEFORE SOME SPIC WITH A BETTER TASTE IN MUSIC -GETS THE JOB!!!I CAN JUST SEE IT NOW THE SLIPKNOT CONVICT IN HIS ORANGE -OVERALLS PICKING UP MY USED RUBBERS ON THE SIDE OF THE HIGHWAY LOL!!!!ONE -GROWN MAN CAN TAKE OUT 20+SLIPCOCK WORSHIPERS MOST OF THEM ARE GIRLS ANYWAYS -SO MAYBE THEYLL GET A NICE RAPE!!!AND THEN GET THROWN OFF A FUCKING BRIDGE -ONTO YOUR FAGGOT GHETTO SHIT HOLE OF AS HOUSE!!!I WILL MAKE SURE TO TAKE -PLENTY OF SHITS ON THE HIGHWAY AND LEAVE FILLED RUBBERS FOR YOU FAGS WHEN -YOU GET ON ''JUVEY''FOR ONE OF YOUR PETTY CRIMES!!!ENJOY YOUR FREEDUMB WHILE -IT LASTS YOU FUCKING NIGGERS!!!YOU WILL BE SITTING IN SOME JAIL SOON WRITING -TEAR FILLED LETTERS TO COREY TAYLOR OR YOUR GRANDMOTHER!!!HAHA ..IM OFFF TO -WATCH SOME FRESH PRINCE OF BELL AIR..YOU CUNTS IM SURE ARE OFF TO GET -''BLAZED''AND HAVE CRACK ADDICTED BABYS AT AGE 13 GOOD LUCK IN YOUR SHIT -HOLE LIVES NIGGERS!!! -% -fuck you sXe faggot ass niggers. yeah i said faggot and nigger i guess and -racist and a homophobe huh. yall are all fucking scenesters that probally -fucking stand on the out side of the pit with you little Xs on your hands -trying to be hXc but really your just stupid as shit. do we walk around with -fukcing Os on our hands if we do drugs. give it a break its all a fucking -trend arent you just so rad to claim edge i wish i was that cool oh well to -bad me and your mom did heroin last night together. so all in all i guess im -saying FUCK YOU TRENDY ASS PUSSY BITCHS. sXe is not cool dont claim it be it -you fucking anal cunt. -% -Hey guys, I'm protesting those starfield screen savers. Aren't screen savers -supposed to protect your monitor from getting the image burned on? What if -you permanently get stars flying on your monitor, that seems like it'd be -worse than something useful like your taxes. Morons. -% -Watermelon represents the ripe breasts of white women which the negro wishes -to rape, while the green color represents the money he wishes to steal. The -dark bands on the melon represent the bars of a jail cell, the negro's -ultimate destination. -% -Hello my name is Brad. I am gothic, and proper. I dress in all black all of -the time. I talk very intelligently by using large well articulated words. I -really don?t like Internet ?lingo? that much. I never understand what the -fuck it means, and really, ?l8ter?? Come on...LATER. Is it really that hard -to type? I do also wear makeup which includes eyeliner, eye shadow, -lipstick, etc, etc. -% -Girl you must be London because I want to explode inside your tunnel -% -out all day, in a series of events culminating in MY BAND'S FIRST -PERFORMANCE AT HAMILTON STREET... holy shit dude.. i am gunna be so nervus -lol. ever sense the two weeks wwe have been practicing in my stepdads -garage are band has ben waiting for this night and my entire 3rd period -Algebra class is totally coming i hope we score some pussy and some weed lol -lol fukkin kickass.... we are playin all of our originl stuff including song -titled "Party Party Party" in D minor, "The Song About The Girl Who Wouldn't -Dance With Me At Homecoming" (tentative title) in D minor, and "Beer Is Good -Girls Are Gay" in hmmm in hmm well lol ok that 1 isnt in a key lol im not a -fukkin musik queer how shuld i kno anyway i hope to see u all their to -experiense the thrill of our decibles -% -If there is one thing that OSS has shown, it is that full time software -teams do not produce better quality products than the amateurs (example: -Linux v. windows) -% -If Microsoft gets rid of that millions lines of spaghetti code in Windows XP -(expect the same in Longhorn 2006 & Blackcomb 2112) and comes up with a -brand new efficient system that equals the Apple, Apple can finally be laid -to rest. After all Microsoft is the standard, like the Qwerty keyboard. You -are going to have to live with Microsoft and those millions of lines of -spaghetti code for some years to come. -% -I went to some IP that should have taken me to a warez server and it took me -to one with a lot of porn and banners :( -% -It appears as though Robert Hanssen, the American FBI agent accused of -selling American secrets to the Russians, was a registered Linux user!!! -This is further evidence, as if any more was needed, that Linux and -communism are inseperable, and that anyone using Linux is supporting the -communist murder of millions! -% -Final Fantasy? Please. The game is slow and repetitive. Meanial tasks such -as just finding your way out of a cave can be extremely difficult. Also, you -must power up / gain levels buy engaging in mini-conflicts throughout the -game. These conflicts require NO eye / hand coordination, are extremely -tedious and occur about, oh, every 1.5 seconds. If you enjoy games that keep -you moving and require "gaming" skills, stay away from this game. I enjoy -the idea of a "Fantasy" concept, but, personally, I would much rather read -Tolkein than spend 5 hours running around in circles trying to find an exit -from just one screen of this game. -% -Longhorn? More like shoehorn, the way they're trying to cram all these new -"features" into it. -% -Haha, you NSYNC lovin' assholes really got burned this time. Why can't you -just shut your mouths and accept their demise?? They are all losers.. JC -has to share that woman from Desperate Housewives with 3 other guys. And -Justin, oh my gosh, he isn't even man enough to hold on to Britney (and -judging by her new husband it shouldn't be that hard). I'm just glad Back -Street Boys have released their new album. They were the original band that -every record company cloned. Just goes to show you the true acts are the -last acts!! BSB 4ever!~ -% -One time I was masturbating in the closet and my brother walked in but he -tripped and his mouth landed on my cock and he was yawning but I was almost -done and at that point the burglar alarm went off and I came and my brother -tried to get up and run away but his pants got caught on the door and tore -off and he fell backwards onto me and my mom walked in and saw it it was -horrible. -% -I swear i must be the only person that can use IE and not get all that crap. -I bet its because i know not press the X button on a popup...Yeah i bet -thats it. Oh and i dont go to a warez sites like an idiot. -% -im poor by choice fag. living in the mud just to get away. if i want money i -can get it peice of piss -% -ObjC is able to use C code directly without change. That's why MS is pushing -C# - it makes it harder to port code to OSX. With Windows projects done in -C, most of the code can remain unchanged. You just add a little ObjC to -handle the system stuff. With C#, most of the code must be completely -rewritten. -% -only furries have faggoty butterfly and angel wings, us gargoyles have real -mans wings -% -girl, you must be herbal essences because masturbating with you is a totally -organic experience -% -Hey guys. I just came from Best Buy with my dad and saw this a-ni-me called -'Neon Genesis Evangelion' and my dad let me bought it, so now I have it with -me but I've been reading about it and they say there is nudity in it. I'm -not sure if my parents will allow me to watch it, last time they found my -Hentai folder they changed my parental controls to Young Teen for a month. -It's not fair. I'm 19. I'm hiding my Hentai in Documents and Settings now. -% -there are 2 bits in bathroom binary. a number 1 (01) is taking a piss. a -number 2 (10) is taking a poop. a number 3 (11) is a shitpiss where you poop -and pee at the same time. -% -How about the enviroment? Canonical clearly does not care much for -enviromental protection. The amount of Ubuntu CDs they have dumped in the -past is unacceptable. They have reached AOL quantities. -% -Don't obscure the topic at hand with "facts". History has always been made -through quick, instinctual choices. Intellect is nothing but a distraction -when it comes to life shattering situations. Look at how it has defined our -history. Do you think I am about to turn away from the legacy of generations -before me? Alternative methods take longer, and never completely solve the -problem. It is easier for the mass populace to attack a problem -straightforward. Consideration for things slows down the pulse of results. -% -Oh man oh man. There was my dad, pissed as all hell dirty and oily in his -work clothes yelling at the little pimple faced manager. "Sir we can't -replace your monitor because you did not purchase it here." "I BRING MONITOR -IN AND YOU FIX, THEN YOU DROP AND EXPECT ME PAY, I DO NOT THINK!!!!!!!" -After about 15 minutes of this we walked out of there with a brand new 15 -inch packard bell. Then I went home and played wing commander 2 till I got -tired, masturbated to sailor moon porn and went to bed. -% -Everyone else in the classroom was laughing at me. Due to my weakness, I was -unable to push him away. I tried to wiggle my mostly ornamental white velcro -shoes but that only encouraged him. I was thrown from my wheel chair and -rolled onto my back. That's when the torture started. That day I was -violated with every pen, pencil, crayon and glue bottle those insufferable -retards could lay their malformed mitts on. -% -faggot! get the fuck out of here. we don't take kindly to you people around -here. you're worse than the niggers. at least the niggers are predictable - -they just want to make illegitimate children, eat fried chicken, and steal -cars - you faggots, who the fuck knows what you're going to do next? -% -I have been testing Longhorn prereleases for weeks now and I have to say -that it's extremely buggy. Micro$oft has a long way to go before they -catch upto Apple. -% -i have a girlfriend who was raped when she was in high school. not only that -she got molested by family member. even though it has been 8 years since -that happened, she is still disturbed and when she sees something on tv or -movie that remind her, she cries. at which point i rape her. what a whore! -% -Wee! Look at me! I'm a faggot masochist with my faggot masochists' OS! Look -at me! Look at me! Look at me! I can't play WMVs! Ain't I cool! -% -I can't believe I just took a shit in my Wookie costume at the Star Wars -convention. What the fuck? I can't stand up and take it to waste chute -because I am literally wading in a feces-filled fur suit at this very -moment. Any change in battle stance would send this rancid bantha poodoo -spilling down my legs and into view of every Jedi Knight within 30 feet of -me. There is no way I can play this off as a fart. It doesn't help that I've -eaten nothing but doritos and pepsi for the passed 3 days. I can hardly -think straight! How am I possibly going to explain this to my mom when she -comes back from the store to ask me what the fuck I just did in the presence -of Boba Fett. She'll make me drop trau in front of everyone again. There it -is. The Ewok at the signing booth to the right of me just asked if I could -smell 'that'. I gotta go. -% -Christianity was founded and propagated by Jews. It is also the source of -Western art, morality, and science. -% -Your argument is not very compelling. Everyone knows I'm not here to "get -down", I'm here specifically to crush you in debate and I'm not going to -spend much time here either as I am quickly dulled by this sort of thing. -% -A note to the idiot who keeps sending me anonymous emails claiming to have -"f*cked" my mother: 1) Do you really think i don't have your IP address and -have a relatively good idea of who you are? 2) Do you really think I care -about your weird sexual fantasies? 3) Have you even SEEN my mother? HAHAHA -4) Keep it up. The messages are being logged, stored and passed on to the -relevant authorities and, of course, your ISP... 5) I know where you are. -% -I masterbate using a Johnsonville 'Cheddarwurst' in each hole and a vibe on -my button. I have acheived 48 orgasms in two hours with this technique. -% -I used to find ways to jack off around my mom while she wasn't looking. I -have even shot off onto her while she was asleep at night and my dad was at -work. She was a heavy sleeper and it wasn't any problem to gently uncover -her and wack off right in front of her. I have even gotten completely naked -and stood on a kitchen chair I pulled up next to her bed and blew my load -completely across the bed, never hitting her with any of it all. The time I -remember most is when I came home drunk (again) and she was already asleep. -I got totally naked and went to her room. Luckily, she was completely -uncovered and snoring like a cow. It was like I had special ordered this -because she was laying flat on her back with her knees folded out like she -was expecting me. I looked at her tight little panties and could see the -split plain as day. She kept a letter opener on the night stand next to her -bed for when she opens the mail each night before she goes to bed. It was -the kind with the razor blade in it. I used the letter opener to cut her -panties right across the crotch. I jumped when they snapped apart. I wasn't -expecting that. Mom never moved. She just laid there snoring like a bear. I -thought to myself this was too good to be true. And since I was already -naked, I thought about how I could slip over top of her and try to touch my -dick to her open pussy. I knew I couldn't actually stick it in her without -waking her up. I must have tried ten times to get on top but couldn't do it. -I did, however, manage to actually lick her pussy(very lightly at first). -After a couple of licks, I got brave and put my toung inside a little bit. -Once I did that, I knew I was pushing it so I eased off the side of the bed -and jacked off standing as near her face as I could without waking her. I -wanted to shoot my load on her face but I chickened out. I turned toward her -still open legs and tried to blow it on her pussy. I did manage to get it -all over her leg. She never budged. Sometimes I think she knew the whole -time and just let me get myself off because she may have actually liked it. -I sometimes wonder if she had always known when I was doing my thing around -her. I got away with things you could not believe sometimes. I even put my -throbing swelled dick in her hand once while she was sleeping in the -recliner watching television. I didn't keep it there long but it was enough -for me to go to the bathroom and beat off like a fool. -% -I was sitting alone at home one night, curled up in a blanket on the couch. -I was watching "Sex in the City" and I heard a knock at the door. I got up, -and looked out the peephole. It was Kobe Bryant. I was very surprised, I do -not know him personally. I opened the door and let him in, because hey, its -not like a huge NBA star is there to rob you or anything! After he stepped -in the foyer, he grabbed me and made me swallow my chewing gum. I -immediately blurted out that was a horrible thing to do because it will stay -in there for 7 years! Kobe began laughing incredibly hard, then grabbed me -again. Before I could even scream, he was ripping off my pants and lowering -my panties, "jamming" his enormous dong into my tight, but willing cunny. He -truly began raping me viciously in every hole, but it wasnt rape. I hadn't -had sex in the past year, and I really needed this. Especially from such a -well endowed man. As he thrusted in and out, he picked me up and moved me -into the kitchen. I didnt have any idea why. He opened the freezer and -removed my frozen pre-made chicken nuggets. He popped them in the microwave -and continued his sexual escapade. Kobe began sniffing loudly, pulling in -immense amounts of air through his huge negro nostrils. "Whats wrong, Kobe? -Keep Thrusting!" I yelled, as I was nearing climax. But he continued -sniffing uncontrollably. He then dropped me on the floor, reached in the -microwave and grabbed the plate of nuggets. The worst thing ever happened -next. He grabbed each nugget, smelled it, licked it, and then jammed it -right into his anus. Before long, Kobe's anus was full of Tyson's very best -nuggets, and I was masturbating to my second climax (I, however, did not -notice him doing his thing with the nuggets). The next thing, however, was -what shocked, surprised, and scarred me for life. Kobe walked over to me, -and said "Ya hungry?" I said "Were you cooking those nuggets for us to eat? -How thoughtful of you!" To my surprise, he said "No way bitch! Now eat up!" -and he sat right down on my face and began to shit the nuggets, one by one, -into my mouth. He exhibited amazing anal control, and surprisingly the shit -encrusted nuggets tasted fabulous. Kobe has been coming over whenever the -Lakers are in town for the past year ohh yeah. -% -i hacked into an airline's computer systems and stole a huge bunch of -frequent flyer points then traded them in for merchandise and got a sony -playstation 2 -% -HEY BABE WHO WOULD WIN PIRATES.... OR NINJA??? ALSO NOTE I DID NOT USE AN S -BECAUSE NINJA IS JAPANESE AND THEY DONT HAVE PLURALS DO YOU LIKE JAPAN -% -It was only -after- I took the lethal dose of aspirin that I realized I -couldn't find my Evanescence CDs anywhere!! My elaborate suicide plans were -ruined, but as you can imagine I am quite used to disappointment... so -sleepy... -% -Don't you dare talk to me like I don't know my profession. -% -Congratulations, prick, you've just made my ignore list. Was it worth it to -you to make your "witty" comments and snide in-jokes to your irc pals about -me if it meant you are now disappeared from my online experience? Have a -nice life. -% -A computer scientist? what are your credentials as a scientist? How have -you furthered scientific knowledge? I am a scientist. PhD in space science, -as a matter of fact. A veritable rocket scientist. I have also developed -software for the last 25 years. I have headed software projects and -delivered software to some important customers, including the DoD. So -forgive me if I take exception to some programmer hack calling himself a -scientist. -% -"Star Wars" was the highlight of my abusive childhoo. My father brutally -belted me frequently, and the rest of the family, a term which I use very -loosely, just hid what he did to me. -% -Doesn't matter. Once the US housing bubble collapses there will be a total -economic collapse. Companies like Netflix and Amazon will go bankrupt as -Americans just try to save enough for food -% -I think that the present lack of comments on this article, combined with the -subject matter of this article, speaks volumes about the so-called open -source community. -% -girl you must be Frogger because I would cross rush hour traffic and -cascading rivers in order to hop in your hole 6 times in a row -% -If you want to make full use of your hardware use Windows. If you want to -waste days trying to get an alpha OS to work with hacked drivers and -illegally reverse engineered applications mostly written by ugly teenagers -who stop doing it once they get laid then by all means use Linux. -% -it's so weird seeing Obi Wan Kenobe playing Alfred -% -girl, you must be an HTTP status code because all i'm getting is: 402 -Payment Required -% -I hate when people think they're saving the world just by riding their bike. -It's like those black and white couples that think they're fighting racism -just by fucking each other. -% -Your a stupid fucker. You know no one gives a shit about what you say. Pipe -down and go check on your emerging gentoo box -- ooh i think your -_ricer_kernel_ just finished building. -% -one time i killed this hippie and scraped the resin off his lungs and i died -of a weed overdose -% -For instance: throughout all of my time in elementary school there was this -one kid who would go to the bathroom so he could poop. But he had a phobia -of water splashing up his crack or something like that. I say this because -he would go into the stall, take down his pants, and while still standing, -proceed to shit on the floor right in front of the toilet. It was weird when -you would go to the bathroom and you would see a burgundy loaf on the floor -of the bathroom. And it was always in the same bathroom. -% -I'm not perfect in english, but I was on college forums when I was in -college, and you wouldn't have lasted two minutes with anyone with your -kiddy type gibberish. -% -Stupid internet faggots get obsessed with the most inane things. If it's -from Japan or runs on Linux watch the fuck out cause these losers will act -like Jesus appeared on Earth. -% -there is no such thing as hardcore gaming, anymore then there is anything -extreme about mountain dew livewire -% -Sometimes when I get bored I stick screw drivers in my piss hole (preferably -phillips head) Then I thumb around my sphincter with my womenlike finger -nails scraping the days left overs and sniff it for 10 minutes. -% -since blacks have bigger wangs... do black chicks have bigger holes? -% -As a professional shrink, I was appauled while observing Tom Cruise as he -underwent a complete alteration of personality on national television. -Although his aggressive display did not make me think him gay, I certainly -wondered if he was forgetting his Lithium or if we were watching one of his -alternate personalities! Truly mindboggling behavior! -% -Her lips bit onto his, opened, and began force vomiting shit down his -throat. Her fingers dug deep into his flesh and John struggled as Kihnda -pulled him down. Into the toilet, into her kind, warm love, where they could -be forever. John tried to break free. He didn.t make it. The shit was too -strong. His penis still erect, a die-hard pervert to the end, loving every -last fucking minute of it, John drowned in his cannibal leavings. -% -i wipe turd on my tallywacker. im not happy, sometimes i touch my mouth -after playin with faeces. i think i have syphalis or scruvy..god bless -triffle, i put my balls in triffle....my pubes are 4 inches long. -% -Fucked in the ass non-stop, ream my hole, with a helicopter prop, I love ass -fucking, yes it's true, I douche my ass nightly, so there's no poo. I'm a -fanatic faggot, I love to get raped, got my dad's camcorder, to get it all -on tape. My sphincter's so loose, all my movements are butt juice, in the -war of fists and my ass, there can never be a truce. -% -Liberals deserve to be KILLED. Shot dead. Hit in the head with baseball -bats, hatchets, axes or even ice picks. Hung by their necks from the -nearest lamp post or tree. Liberals are the scum of the earth. Whether -they're in the UK, US or anywhere else, I advocate extreme violence against -liberals! The only good liberal is a dead liberal. -% -I shat on my keyboard today. So I was vaccuming my keyboard to remove the -dried up man juice of my past expeditions into trannybooth.com. I was -playing with different settings on the cleaner, and noticed how it produced -keystrokes when it was blowing. It made me wonder - was my own fart strong -enough to type something? Being the experimenting type, I went ahead and -pulled down my pants, positioned my ass right above the keyboard and let out -a thunderous one. Turned out my bowel had decieved me, for along with the -gas came hot chunks of shit. My computer started beeping like crazy as a -huge log pressed down on the function keys. My keyboard went friggin -shit-brown. There it was, a steaming turd right across my home row. I had to -use fucking motor oil to clean away the fecal matter. I don't know what I'm -going to tell my sister when she finds out the keyboard smells like crap. -% -i don't care if you premium member, i will ctl+alt+dlt u / you little fuck, -i've got year old posts bigger than u/ before i lost weight, back in -ninety-eight/ you was wack posting over at gbs i seen u/ then you came to -FYAD, switch your demeanor, well - we don't believe you, you need more -people/ troll phds of the game, we passed them classes; nobody could read -you 05 dudez like we do/ don't let 'em gas you like lowtax; he'll harass -you/ trust me on this one - i'll e-detach you/ hand from keyboard, eyes from -screen/ they'll have to hold a cybervigil, put your webcam live stream/ no, -you're not on my level get your mouse tweaked/i posted what ya did all year -in my first week/ (chorus) niggaz'll hijack your post, make you report to -admin/ your faggot topics i'll unpin, make your drives spin and spin/ we -bring - humor to ur thread, kill your bullshit drama/ too much bytes for ur -modem, go run to ya momma/ -% -Flopping and flailing, tugging and yanking, rolling my micro-burrito between -my thumb and forefinger, I desperately Google "Hairy Asian Pussy"... "Big -Black Tits"... "Shaved Mature Naked"... but am unable to focus on any single -image long enough to construct a suitable fantasy. I click rapidly from one -photo to the next, accidentally smearing vitamin E oil on the keyboard and -mouse, all through the night until morning's cruel rays mock my soft, -greasy loins. -% -one time i smoked so much weed i got to like level 99 of being high then i -kept smoking and my high reset back to level 0 and i was perfectly sober -except my hair turned yellow -% -STAR WARS EWOX JEDI X-WING GREEDOO DEATH STARS ANAKIN VADER JABBA HUT - LIGHTSABERS VULCANZ HAN SOLO AT-ATs PADAWAN YODA ITS A TRAP CP30 -CHEWIE -% -Your theories interest me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. -% -Also, if you have ever billboarded a request (posting a request more than -once in order to have it more visible) then you are in my killfiter as well. - This is nothing personal, I just need to filter abuse in order to enjoy -Usenet. -% -Do you really think that KDE is completely under GPL? You are either -uninformed or a troll. I think you are a troll who tries to say "If KDE -was under BSD license, Apple had not given any modifications back." -% -Did you know? There is scientific proof that bipedal creatures similar to -modern day wolves, cats and horses existed and even had their own -proto-languages. It is theorized that today's "furries" are the offspring of -these ancient races. -% -The lolly is a phallic symbol. It was invented by man in his eternal quest -to subjugate women and dominate them by teaching children the act of -fellatio at a young age - especially female children. To have equality among -people, we should eliminate such travesties of recreation. But lollies are -too deply entrenched in our society for them to be removed without much -harm. Therefore I propose to balance the situation by introducing a new type -of lolly - it shall contain two sticks instead of one and to consume it, -people must spread out the sticks and lick in between, symbolising -cunnilingus. -% -I can't believe that you banned my firneds computer along with my work one. -What the fuck dude. Can't you fucking deal. I really have no Idea waht the -fucking beef is with me.Really you fucking one. I no longer post during the -day. I look at the site once a week if that. Really. If you see that fake -persona only had 12 post over 2 months. THat is rediculus for me. So really -fuck you. I can't believe that you banned my friends computer cause i posted -on it. What did you want me to do.Worst part is that I have had convoy's -with you on the other board and I know you have had no IDEA who I am.Man -dude get in touch with me and lets hash this shit out. I am sick of this -shit.Better yet call me so I can bitch you out over the phone and get this -over with..Ps. I am not crunk right now just drunk and go ahead and bann -this IP addy wile your at it you fuck head. -% -This has to be the most pathetic attempt at flaming I've ever seen. I was -laughing, so if that's what you intended, congratulations, otherwise, -perhaps it would behoove you to find out what autism is before make stupid, -unwitty posts about sufferers of the disease. Now, if you'd like to try to -flame me, make it a real flame. -% -Well, I can't waste all day in this IRC. Gotta go to a T5 meet for some -training. Gotta place high in this years TiT and Evo2k5 tournaments. (Tekken -5.) See ya guys. :( -% -I've been foruming for ten years, been a moderator / admin of forums and all -that. It gets old after awile. I enjoy trolling shitty websites more than -anything. -% -When I got home, the dog looked like it needed some more sex, so I unzipped -my cock and inserted it into the hound. We had sex all night. When it was -dead in the morning, I was still raping it. When I was 80 years old and the -corpse was decomposed and crawing with maggots, I was still ejaculating my -seed into the empty shell. Later, I died. -% -Don't rely on risky conventional aphrodesiacs. Our patented formula -harnesses the power of a biochemical reaction to create controlled -explosions in your testicles, propelling you into the INCREDIBLE SEMEN-FREE -EXPLOSIVE ORGASM of a lifetime! She'll never cheat on you again after she -feels the POWER of our patented testicle exploding forumula. -% -BETTER NOT HEAR OF ANYONE BREAKING THIS ONE OR SEE DELETED. This is a ribbon -for soldiers fighting in Iraq. Pass it on to everyone and pray. Something -good will happen to you tonight at 11:11 PM. This is not a joke. Someone -will either call you or will talk to you online and say that they love you. -Do not break this chain. Send this to 13 people in the next 15 minutes. Go -% -do you ever get these weird urges to jerk off.. and then after you do you -get this sick feeling in your stomach like you're going to throwup and -passout ? -% -Okay, so you want to mack it with the ladies, but don't know where to start? - How about you groom yourself you fucking pig. Here's your first lesson: -WOMEN HATE MEN WITH BALL HAIR. There are some common technique for removal -(i.e. razor, electric razor, nair) but my favorite is the time proven method -of plucking. Start by sitting in a chair. Now, stretch your penis between -your testicles and hold it there. This will decrease the electric signals -being sent to your brain everytime you pluck, bye bye pain! You should be -done in about 10 minutes, and after that, you're on your way to Fellatio -Farms. Go getum Cassanova. -% -Emoticons are useful, since they can at least partially take the place of -facial expressions, gestures, and tone of voice, all of which give clues to -meaning beyond what your mere words convey, in face to face dialogue. They -can easily be overused though, or used in a far too cutesy fashion, somewhat -like a girl dotting her i's with big pink hearts. If your email has more -than one or two emoticons in it, yo -% -Frankly, I am appalled at the way that members here treat the underground -furry community. It seems to me like nobody here really understands anything -about the furry way of life. I mean, seriously, do you know how freeing it -is be honest about being encased in a human body whilst having an animal -soul? -% -What the fuck does it mean? What's the point? Is that sticker telling me to -drive more carefully because you've spawned, and you're carrying said spawn -in your auto-mobile? Why should I care? You're obvously an idiot, so why -should I have any regard for the waste matter that sprung screaming from -your idiot loins? I'm gonna drive how I'm gonna drive. Just because you've -gone out of your way to inform me that you happen to be transporting your -worthless Shit-Factory doesn't mean I'm going to alter my driving style in -the least. And that's another thing. That shit automatically assumes that -I'm the shitty driver. What about you? Shouldn't you be the one driving more -carefully because your squealing tit-sucker is in the passenger seat? Why -are you telling me about it? If I'm walking to the post office to mail a -priceless Ming vase, I don't shout at every person on the street "FRAGILE! -FRAGILE CONTENTS HERE, BE CAREFUL WALKING AROUND ME!" No, that would be -stupid. However, buying some stupid-ass 99 cent sticker that says "Baby on -Board" is supposed to magically transform everyone on the freeway into -perfect drivers. -% -I am a 15 year old guy, I am 5'7", and HATE humanity. I despise every piece -of life around me, and I understand that this might classify me as insane, -but so what. I HATE christians(well most of them, but not all) because all -they do is shove there religon on you, why don't they just let me believe -what I want? But anyways, just come on in, and see what I have been feeling -like today. Later... -% -u all people are goddam nigger fucktards! fuck u all! nigger fucktards! eat -my shit motherfuckers! goddam nigger fucktards! fucktards all! god damn you -nigger fucktards! -% -girl you must be the recently cancelled television show "enterprise" because -no matter how many fat sweaty nerds profess their love for you, you are -still just a piece of shit whore that no respectable man would allow himself -to be seen in public with -% -girl, u must have a 2d20 spell resistance because you are resisting my magic -missile -% -Face it, you just want an ipod so you can hack the firmware to make it -vibrate then stick the smooth case up your ass you big FAG!!! -% -You don't me, but I was looking through yahoo profiles and I saw that you -are in Texas City. The reason that I'm writing to you is I'm a handsome, -goodlooking straight male. But lately I've been getting the urge to know how -does it feel to suck a cock. I'm very serious about this, this is not a -joke. If you havent' figured it out yet, I'd like to suck your dick. You -might look at this email and not be interested at all, and I'd understand if -you don't. If your not interested, you can write me back and tell me to go -to hell, and I won't bother you again. To let you know, a guy sucks better -cock than any female, cause only a guy knows what a guy likes. If you're -interested, it will be secretly and discreet. If you are interested, just -write me and let me know. If your not, like I said, just tell me to go to -hell. Let me know. -% -Linux Scat Ode : The chat has moved off this mortal coil. To replace the -entertainment , my pants : I'll soil! Turds smashing into the boxers all -nite. I'll take them off and sniff. Ohh yeah. Dats rite. The smell is -divine, the taste is great. Now all I need is a paper plate. Going to -Butch's with this fresh poopie. I hope he's thirsty. Because this poop is : -soupy. My bowel movements are incredibly loose. Thats ok, I lo Its a shame -that my body is nothing but lard. Oh the life of a Linux Fatty Shit-eating -Scat Fiend. Oh no mom is comming!!! This chat session : screen'd -% -When I installed Linux it asked me for my credit card number. Two days later -I got a call from Wachovia asking me if I had purchased $400 worth of -Totino's pizza rolls and Mountain Dew (I hadn't). Let this be a warning to -all of you out there in the Internet. -% -didnt ben franklin invent lightning or was that edison? -% -So I'm out with my niece at our local shopping mall here in Philadelphia, -called the Gallery, we had just gotten some delicious banana yogurt -shakes...and who do we see but Mr. Hasselhoff! He was signing sneakers at -Foot Locker, apparently he has a new line of Sketchers out or something (?) -and there he was. I told him that I used to wish i had a car like Kitt and -he laughed and then i laughed and then he got really serious all of a -sudden.He leaned close and whispered to me that Kitt was real. He said he -could press a button and Kitt would come flying into the mall right there -running over people and causing massive havoc. I'm not sure if he was -kidding or not but my niece got real scared and spilled her banana yogurt -shake. Is this unusual for Mr. Hasselhoff to act like this? This is our -first David sighting and to be honest i was a little nervous. -% -YOU ARE THE BIGGEST FUCKING GROUP OF UTTER. FUCKING. IDIOTIC. SHIT EATING. -CIRCLEJERK. FAGGOTS. EVER. TO. WALK. THE. EARTH. NOTHING YOU SAY TO ME CAN -HURT ME AT ALL! YOU ARE NOT INTELLIGENT, EDGY OR COOL, YOU ARE JUST A -PATHETIC FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT WHO LIKE TO BELLITLE OTHERS OVER THE -INTERNET TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEMSELVES. FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -% -So you're working out and getting buff so you are strong to do what? -"Getting women" as if they are objects to do what? Fuck them and forget -about it? Some life. "Getting women" improves your social status amongst -those who hi-five people for being "playa"s. Who gives a damn about being -more social amongst those vapid wastes of food and employment? Video games -are a great way to have fun, and enjoy things that are availible to you in -life. Not only this, but the making of a game is an art form - by playing -through, say, an RPG, you are treated to a grand story that is just -overwhelmingly more fufilling than going out, fucking some chick, hi-fiving -yourself and calling it a night. -% -for the past several years I've been mailing all my feces to Ralph Nader. -Every time I defecate, I do so in a zip lock bag, which I then send to Ralph -Nader's home address via USPS priority mail. Though I always clearly write -my name and address on the return portion of the envelope, I have never -recieved a reply, nor have any of my mailings been refused :| -% -I lick my own fecal matter from time to time, it's not as bad as you'd -think. I even got my old girlfriend to try it, I talked it about it for so -long, I actually convinced her to wipe me after a dump with her tounge. She -got stabbed by some guy 2 months later. -% -A beautiful young lady is on her knees sucking my cock. I am leaning forward -and bracing myself against the wall. I can feel her spreading my ass cheeks -to allow her boyfriend to enter me. He's in and starting to stroke in and -out. Every forward thrust pushes my cock further and further into her mouth. -I can feel her reaching under my balls to feel his cock going in and out of -my ass. -% -just went to micro$ofts web site to get some drivers for my cousin and it -locked my machine - Of course I am using unbuntu and firefox - funny thing -is when I unplugged my network cable I got my mouse back and disconnected -from their site - seems everything works fine now but I sure hope they -weren't trying to put sypware or root kit on my computer. they will hear -from if I find anything. piss off microsoft - what are you now keeping -people that don't run your os from your web site. -% -Did you know that the first knights in Medieval times were actually Negroid? -Indeed, the word "knight" comes from the Old English "niht" meaning night or -darkness. As time progressed, more and more Caucasians were accepted into -this sacrosanct brotherhood, but many historians agree that, while King -Arthur was definitely a white man, his entire round table of knights were -exclusively colored! -% -I'm gambling that Apple is expecting to keep profit margins up by keeping -return/repair rates extremely low by using quality components -% -i need dank nugs, smoke roach bugs, bird-man lugs, tree smokin thugs, i'm on -a mission to secure a blunt, don't be pullin no bogartin' stunt, hoardin -that shit ain't really kind, absorb that herb into yo mind, smokin' and -tokin' until you're blind, what out for 5-0 or you gonna get fined -% -All this "linux dependabilty uptime unix lol" bullshit is just that, a crock -of shit. How fucking hard is it to hit a goddamn reset button, you fat -fucking sysadmins? I realize your just about to hit level 87 in everquest -and you're already sweating from reaching for that jolt cola but for the -love of god PLEASE stop using these stupid, unusable operating systems! -% -My favorites: Maxell 80 Minute Pro (blue) for solid robust low end, detail -and clean immediacy; Maxell Music 80 minute gold for a balanced -hight-to-mid-to-bottom and wide sparkle; Fuji 80 Minute Audio for a wetter -sound (smoothes out the edges). Memorex Music 80 minutes is very nice, Taiyo -Yuden 700 MB are close, the Mitsui and BASF are in there, Sony could be -better... -% -Ecstasy, also known as MDMA, is popular in raves as a drug that promotes -tolerance. An empathogen, ecstasy gives its user heightened acceptance -towards other people. Why not use this power to pacify racists? My idea -calls for the forced injection of MDMA into racists, or risk the loss of -property. After developing an initial addiction to ecstasy, users will be -required to fuel their addiction by purchasing more of the substance. -Government-run vendors can sell their wares to give wealth back to minority -communities. This scheme will allow the racists to become normal, productive -members of society while putting more money in the hands of those that need -it the most. -% -Don't the greedy boneheads at Thompson Multimedia and Fraunhofer -Gesellschaft see that they are poisoning their own water supply by causing -the Open Source community to develop better, and free, codecs like Ogg -Vorbis? -% -So there I was zipping through the skies of Iraq in a helicopter my -associates had rented from Blackpool. We had been sweating it out as we were -forced to maintain a low altitude to stay under the AAF radar, which kept us -safe from missile batteries but exposed us to any ground troops we happened -across. We were almost home free to the green zone, when we heard the -telltale WHOOSH! of a shoulder-mounted ground-to-air missile. The pilot -screamed and in a flash we were spiraling out of control and the ground was -rushing up to meet us. When I came to, I thought I must be in heaven, -because the wind was gently rustling the green grass that seemed to be -cushioning me. I smiled at the feeling of the warm sun upon my face. Then -the Arabic men came. While a thin wiry one waved his rifle and screamed -unintelligibly at me, one of the fat ones pulled me up by the hair to my -knees and unzipped his khaki reliefs. Out sprung the largest cock I've ever -seen on a dark-skinned man. It smelled of couscous and camels, and when he -forced it down my throat I could taste a hint of Brut. They all took turns -throat-raping me, and they all had a good laugh when my screams abruptly -stopped as one of the larger cocks dislocated my larynx from my throat down -into my stomach and I began to bleed from my nose and ears. After they were -all satisfied, they pointed their barrels at me and I felt hot lead tearing -through my body. As I lay prone on the ground, just before I blacked out, I -felt something hot on my back and realized that the fat one was urinating -all over my broken American corpse ohh yeah -% -i was going through the logs in my toilet today and i found a letter. i -don't remember eating a letter. funny thing is.. it was a letter from my -colon telling me to eat less fiber. ps: i'm shutting down until you have -sex with men. after plowing the fields of the nearest 12 guys i could find, -my brother walks into the room. he says, "haha jokes on you i put that note -in your turd. you just fucked a bunch of dudes for nothing, homo!" this is -why i hate procreation. -% -girl, you must be from stdout because i'd like to pipe you -% -We've got Justice Kennedy writing decisions based upon international law, -not the Constitution of the United States? That's just outrageous. And not -only that, but he said in session that he does his own research on the -Internet? That is just incredibly outrageous. -% -is it gay that sometimes when i take a shit i get goosebumps all over my -body? -% -You sick, sick butthole licking UNIX fags. How DARE you use the disgusting -and fecal OS that is Linux. Windows is BEST! You fags get raped in the mind -by Tux. His fag penguin guise makes you shreik out in terror for Windows, -but he fuckes you so much you are forced to use Linux. I bet the fags who -reply to this are being ass raped as we speak. Linux is buggy, slow, bloated -and turns you into a fag. Windows is best! You huge fruits and your lies -about bill games must cease. -% -YOU KNOW, YOU NEEDLE-DICKED PANSIES COWER IN FEAR WHEN I WHIP MY TOWERING -CYCLOPS OUT. MY PENIS CONSUMES LIGHT AND WHOLE ASTEROIDS LIKE THEY WERE -NOTHING. ONE TIME I GOT AN ERECTION AND WELL THAT CAUSED A WHOLE GALAXY TO -BE SHATTERED BY THE SHEER FORCE. WHEN I EJACULATE IT CAUSES THE -GRAVITATIONAL CONSTANT OF THE UNIVERSE TO BE ALTERED BECAUSE OF THE SUDDEN -INCREASE IN MASS. AT THE END OF TIME THERE WILL BE NOTHING LEFT IN THE -UNIVERSE BUT DARK MATTER AND MY PENIS. MY PENIS EXISTS IN FOUR DIMENSIONS, -EXPANDING OUTWARD AT LIGHT SPEED LIKE TIME ITSELF. MY PENIS COMPOSES THE -UNIVERSE AND TICKLES AZATHOTH'S OMNIPOTENT BUNGHOLE WHEN THE STARS ARE -RIGHT. ENTROPY IS BUT A FART IN THE WIND FOR MY PENIS. MY PENIS CAN BREAK -MATHEMATICS! IT IS ABLE TO TRANSCEND REALITY AND DESTROY HUMAN THOUGHT WITH -ITS SHEER VOLUME AND MASS. MY PENIS HAS A PENIS, AND THAT PENIS IS STILL -BIGGER THAN YOUR PENIS. -% -Remember the Alamo! Shoot 'em! To show you how radical I am, I want -carjackers dead. I want rapists dead. I want burglars dead. I want child -molesters dead. I want the bad guys dead. No court case. No parole. No early -release. I want 'em dead. Get a gun and when they attack you, shoot 'em. -% -I use Firefox sometimes, but it really isn't that good. I'd rathewr use IE -than Firefox because who knows what these open-source people can do with -your credit card numbers. Not that Microsoft needs anymore money, so they -won't try to scab it off me. And at least they patch their browser -automatically with Automatic Updates -% -I'm saying to all the rappers keep it real. Not everyone on your road crew -likes pussy and you know it. The stylists that lean in your face, do your -make up, braid your hair may just have your body guards dick on his breath - -while he is all in yo grill. -% -picture yourself at college. she's the foreign exchange student from ... not -china, the other one. in any case her english is poor and she laughs at even -your shittiest jokes without understanding. you know she likes you. the only -guys after her are skinny adenoidal fags that she gets enough of back home. -she laughs at their jokes too, but it's not them she sits by in class, you -come to associate that class with the smell of her. late one night you're in -the library. she's there because you're there. you take her skinny wrist and -wordlessly lead her to the carousel you booked. there are cameras, and -neither of you care. her breathing flutters and she looks elsewhere as you -pull her close. you slide a hand down there, gliding on silken skin. she -leaks like a swollen sponge that has absorbed all it can. she's never been -fucked in a library before. but she's never met anyone as big and black as -you before. -% -You know how sometimes when you poop, it's a blue color? Well, I had one of -those poops on Friday because I had been eating artificially colored animal -crackers. After pinching a couple out, I thought it would be funny to trick -my girlfriend. I placed them on the coffee table and told her they were -novelty candies. Before I could tell her I was just joking, she took a -bite! Well, after a long weekend in the hospital, my girlfriend died of -spinal meningitis. God's going to punish me for this one, I just know it. -% -Check this shit out. Sucks pubic hair from your furniture and sextoys -without stopping every 5 minutes to douche. The Dyson DC 14 Animal features -a telescopic vibrating dildo that instantly releases semen 17 feet at the -touch of a vein. In addition, the DC 14 Animal features a wide vagina that -picks up large hookers that other trick ass niggas leave behind. A mini -turbine head-sucking dog and cat combination saves you from tight spaces -like ass, pussy or lips and a low reach faggot tool simplifies the task of -felching under pressure. The DC 14 Animal also features a carpet care kit to -keep your camel toe looking like new. Available at your local zoo. -% -If Jesus was Jewish, then why did he have a Puerto Rican name? You Stupid -Faggots. -% -Dear Sir,With due respect and humility I am writing this mail letter to you -which I believe that this letter will not embarrassed you as we have not met -or seen each other before.My name is Pastor Steve Camara, from republic of -Benin in west Africa region, pastor in charge of Revival Church Of God -Mission (RCGM) here in Abidjan Cote D' Ivoire.I am writing you in regards of -money transfer which late Pope John Paul II reviewed to me a week ago before -his death through feeding tube after his long ill health, that his late wife -who is Mrs. Esther Benson deposited the sum of US$ 4.000.000.00(four Million -Dollars) with a finance house here in Abidjan for the two (2) remaining -children PAUL III AND MARY for there future.Before the death of Pope John -Paul II he told me that this money US$ 4.000.000.00 Dollars wasacquired -genuinely, that his late wife has a diamond shop in there country which was -destroyed during the war that leads to his husband death two year ago -through heart attack.It is because of the confidence he had on me as his -pastor, he told me about this deposit and his last request to me before his -final breat is that I should try as much as I can to look for foreigner, -either individual, company or organisation who can handle this transaction -with care and confidence for the future of her two children that is -presently staying with me as there parents for now as she cannot make it for -them.Finally, if this letter touches your heart and you are willing to be of -assistance to this two children, I will like you to indicate your full -interest to enable me give you more details on how to proceed with this -transfer. Also note that all the deposit document of this money was on this -woman name as the beneficiary that made with the finance house -here.Expecting your urgent mail to this effect.Thanks and remain bless. -% -that is the nerdiest thing i have ever seen aside from my girlfriend and i -wearing matching firefox tshirts -% -girl, you must be in the kkk because i think we'll have a lot of fun once we -get under the sheets -% -Girl, you must be Snort because I'd like to trigger your intrusion detection -systems -% -I'm going to be taking a long vacation in a couple months and I want to take -a sheet of acid over with me. I'd really rather not bring it with me on the -plane as I've seen the security measures at the airport I'll be flying to -and they're pretty strict, so I was thinking of faxing it over before hand. -Anyone know if this would work? -% -girl, you must be grand theft auto: san andreas because once i get inside of -you i'm going to do all sorts of illegal things -% -girl, you must be tiger woods because no matter what you do, you'll still -just be a nigger -% -girl, you must be a dialup internet connection because every time i want to -do something useful on the phone i have to shut you up -% -girl you must be an o'reilly technical manual because despite your high -price tag, you never say anything meaningful -% -girl you must be charles barkley because i want to take you to the hole but -i doubt you would be impressed with my full-court press -% -girl, you must be a rare warez release because after i get my hands on you, -i'm going to pass you off to all of my friends -% -Did you know? Timothy McVeigh conspired with Terry Nichols to destroy the -Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building by exchanging messages using the popular -"Bit Torrent" internet program, which quickly and anonymously allows users -to exchange large volumes of confidential documents. -% -###### REFUSE RACISM & POLITICAL GARBAGE ON OSS #######UBUNTO IS AN -ANTI-WHITE RACIST OS FUNDED BY AN AFRICAN-AMERICAN WHO USES LINUX TO THROW -HIS AFRICAN PROPAGANDA DOWN OUR COLLECTIVE THROATS!!REFRAIN FROM ABUSING OSS -TO PEDAL POLITICAL PROGANDA!HAVING AN OS THAT PEDALS MULTICULTURALISM, -MISCEGENATION AND INTERRACIAL RELATIONS IS THE EQUAL OF AN 'ANTI-JEW OS -BUILD' - UNNACEPTABLE, DISGUSTING AND ANTI-OPEN SOURCE.MR AMERICAN BLACK -SUPREMACIST - OPENSOURCE DOES NOT NEED *NOR WANTS* YOUR MONEY.###### REFUSE -RACISM & POLITICAL GARBAGE ON OSS ####### -% -Punctuation marks that look like smiley faces express happiness on a new -communication tool known as "Internet." The computer network is already -being used by 15 million people worldwide to chat or do important research. -% -Did you know: Google Inc. was the original corporate investor in 50 Cent's -career, advancing him $15,000 to produce his first album "Get Rich Or Die -Tryin" (Interscope 2003). 50 Cent gave Google a grateful nod when he named -his side group "G-Unit" (Google Unit), and they maintain a healthy business -relationship to this day. -% -Russel Simmons is truely a hero amongst us. He owns his own music label, -shoe company, and even a clothing line, rightfully named PHAT FARM! The -clothes are hand stitched together by hundreds of obese naked women sitting -in tubs of sperm. Their only form of payment is cunnilingus performed by -farm animals, hence the clothing name! Simmons is a brilliant man! -% -alright im not a freak lyk you....i dont put little periods after my -sentences..aportophes in my sentences or fricking commas :-D so i'd say you -back the fuck off because your the kind of person NOBODY likes cuz your a -fatass loser with no friends and is a stuck up freak:-) -% -girl you must be the warp core of the starship enterprise because if you -ever start acting up i will dump you -% -All the guys in this IRC channel I hang out in are really profane and gross. -They talk about child porn and act racist a lot of the time, and every night -before I go to bed I pray for God's forgiveness, and for God to forgive -them. Then I remember I'm wiccan. Blessed be! -% -Can anyone tell me how many times these high and mighty evolution scientists -have already backpedalled and changed their version of the truth to fit some -new finding? I've already lost the count... pathetic, really. -% -I am amazed at all the scientists who think they know "facts" when their -theories are not really anything more then a "best guess". And their guesses -care changing all the time. God's story has not changed at all. I believe we -should teach creationism in schools, it will serve more people better. Out -of a high school graduation class of 1000, how many will go on to a career -in science? Say that 700 of them go on to college and that 300 go into the -work force. Of the 700, 100 decide they want to major in physics or -chemistry. Of them 70 get weeded out. You now have 30 people who will -continue. The other 970 people will be better served with an education that -focuses on creationism. We are living in a time with relative ethics. We are -living in an increasing secular society, where life means little. We all -watched in horror as the Teri Shiavo in Florida was starved to death. That -never should have happened, in the light that there is information that her -husband might have beat her the night she collapsed, and the uncertainty of -her wishes. Even our most prized and well written scientists believe in God. -Einstein believed in God, he was quoted as saying "I want to know God's -thoughts, the rest are just details". -% -Growing up in the Deep South you are exposed hunting and trapping at an -early age. I will never forget the time my father got so drunk on Robitussin -that after beating me repeatedly with a rake he went outside to place traps -to ensnare wild animals that we could use for food. After a few ours of -stalking about he came inside and found me lying on the floor half conscious -he chastised me for being a little wuss and kicked me in the kidneys -claiming while shouting something about Jesus before passing out on the -kitchen floor. The next morning the department of fish and game came -knocking at our door asking if we knew anything about the bear traps that -were placed all over the apartment complex. Apparently he had ensnared -several negroes, and, while it was negro season, he was over his bag limit -and had to cut some of them loose. Man, those were the days, sipping -lemonade on the porch while dad skinned niggers in the back yard. -% -girl you must be a game of texas holdem cuz i just wanna go all in -% -You can't talk that way about EverQuest you fag! OMG Just you wait till I -pry my ass out of this chair and lose 400 lbs to climb out of my parents -basement, asshole! You're are SO getting prank called! -% -I watched this whole program on National Geographic entitled 'The Dark Side -of Dolphins' and let me tell you, dolphins are total assholes. So here's -the deal, male dolphins travel in packs of two. These males want to get -laid, and so they trap a female between them and keep her captive for up to -a month, having sex with her as they please. If she tries to get away, they -will beat her with their snouts and fins. When you see large groups of them -it's just a bunch of these two packs of males joining together to keep -captive a few females so that they can gang rape her. The females hate it -and try to get away but then get beaten up. If and when the female gives -birth she won't want to have sex while protecting her young, and so males -will gang up and try in some instatnces to kill the baby inorder to have sex -with the mother. Bottom line, dolphins are assholes. According to marine -biolgoists dolphins could have normal courtship and sex, but the males -choose not to they prefer gang rape. Dolphins are assholes. -% -what did you have for breakfasT? your mom? what did you have for lunch your -dad? .. what did you eat between that a fucking pig fuck man eww ur so nasty -whatcha gunna eat for supper your fucking neighbors family and all your -fucking pets -% -I AM GOING TO SHIT IN YOUR OWN ASS SO FAR IT COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH WHICH I -WILL THEN SWALLOW AND THEN SHIT INTO YOUR MOUTH SO YOU WILL BE EATING MY -SHAT SHIT WHILE SHITTING. -% -girl you must be my shitty internet service provider because you're going to -kick me off of you after approximately 5 hours -% -I am a nose-picker. I cannot stand having crunchy snot clinging to the -insides of my nostrils, or feeling something dangling there in the back. So -I dig it out. I'm also like this about cleaning my ears; I cannot stand -feeling that there's something in there. Yuck. A bonus to all this is that I -get a slight rush of euphoria when I dig out a really big booger, or find a -lot of wax in my ear. It's similar to the rush of having squeezed out a -prize-winning poop. -% -girl you must be OSX because you're beautiful and alluring but mostly -worthless -% -any 1 got the move tripple x with vin deasal, not pr0n -% -girl you must be a free porn website, because after one 10 minute visit i'll -never see you again -% -girl, you must be internet explorer because you give me popups all the time -% -girl you must be a hydroponic grow system because i cant wait to introduce -my seeds -% -girl you must be a micro$oft product because when i find your holes i'm -going to exploit them -% -girl you must be java bytecode because you let me use you anywhere I want -% -girl you must be a .bin with no .cue file because I have to wrangle with you -for hours only be burned in the end -% -girl u must be an NES cartridge because i will blow on your slot until you -start functioning -% -girl you must be ieee-1284 because i can tell that your port is bidirectional -% -girl u must be aol instant messenger because i'd like to see all of my -buddies on you -% -thats why i prefer anime hentai then real porn.... majority of porn is -usally ugly both the body and faces its rare which you dont get the ugly -(usally comes with alot of air brushing)... and its usally the non nude -models which offer something close to hentai in cuteness/hot and non-old -porn models. -% -fuck shit bitch ass tits. Lets suck some cock get knocked up and pass out in -a ditch. 9911 emergency room party. smoke dat hanger into yo womb. <3 my mom -had so many abortions im surprised im not in a jar of formaldehyde <3 you -dumb fucking p r e g g e r s -% -BREAKING NEWS: THE RING-LEADER OF THE INFAMOUS INTERNATIONAL PEDOPHILE RING -"THE CATHOLIC CHURCH" HAS DIED, HE WAS 84. -% -I leaned down and smelled the seat where the super hot girls amazing ass sat -for at least 5 minutes straight... It smelled like pure girl farts... a -strong fart essence was present in the felt padded seat cushion, I started -buggin out. I kept smelling the cushion for as long as the smell's odor -retained it's embodiment. I was in heaven with the sexy fumes that only -lasted a couple of minutes. I buried my face into the seat cushion smelling -this HOT girls candy farts. I was so happy that day. -% -For like several years I have been afflicted with a really smelly crotch. -It's like I sweat a lot down there and it just has a really sweaty vaginal -odor. I bathe regularly but nothing really helps; by the end of the day I -always smell funky. This wouldn't gross me out if it was just an occasional -problem, but it happens every day. What can I do? -% -girl you must be a sata2 hard drive because you are modestly increasing my -pipe -% -girl you must be a 0day topsite because I just wanna max out your slots -% -You should connect your graphics card directly to the mains. You can buy -molex connectors from any good electronics store and then splice it into the -lead from a hair dryer or toaster. This should deliver the correct voltage -direct to your graphics card (the molex also functions as a voltage -regulator and AC rectifier). It's the equivalent of having an Antex 3kW -power supply. -% -girl you must be haggis cause you make me want to stuff you with old meat -% -Ladies and gentlemen, against my better judgement, I allowed my teenage son -to install line-ucks on our compaq presario. Now I can't make heads or tales -of what's happening on my computer machine, and he is continously making -disrespectful remarks about Bill Gates and 'Micro$uck". I guess my only real -question is: How long should I ground him, removing all access to his -friends and activities in order to cull this anti-social behavior? -% -ONE TIME I GRABBED A FAT GOTHIC BITCH BY THE EARS AND SLAMMED HER GODDAMNED -HEAD AGAINST THE TABLE AND YELLED, "WHY ARE YOU SO GODDAMNED FAT AND UGLY?!! -WHY!!! WHY!!! WHY!!!" AND WHEN SHE STARTED TO CRY AND MADE HER WHITE CLOWN -FACE PAINT RUN AND ALL THAT THICK BLACK EYE LINER I SAID, "IF YOU ARE SO -FUCKING FAT WHY THE HELL DO YOU WEAR ALL THAT GODDAMNED SLUTY CLOTHES YOU -FAT FUCKING BITCH?!!!" -% -yo think if i got a real doll and had a voodoo priest do shit to it, and -attached lindsay lohan's soul to it, that if fucked it she'd feel it and -shit? -% -My Nazi fetish makes my boyfriend uncomfortable.I NEED ADVICE. You appear to -be experienced in these matters, so I'll give this a try.My boyfriend told -me that he finds my Irma Grese/ Ilse Koch-style Third Reich dominatrix -costumes to be disturbing; he seems reluctant to participate in Lebensborn -roleplaying and even Auschwitz guard/ male prisoner roleplaying. He also -suggested gently that I take down the Hitler Youth propaganda posters that -are currently hanging over my bed.Is Nazism a 'turnoff'? If so, why? -% -It is well known that apes are close relatives to human beings. What isn�t -so well known is just how close relatives the two species are. Apes and -humans share much of the same DNA. For instance, the North African -Short-Haired Baboon shares over 99% of its DNA with mankind. This particular -species is highly adaptable and like chimpanzees, they are able to make -crude tools and even utilize rudimentary communication skills. The -adaptability of the North African Short hair is evidenced by their lives in -captivity, while most species dwindle on extinction and have trouble -breeding; the Short-Hairs thrive, often neglecting their offspring, food -gathering, and even grooming themselves in order to mate with females. First -introduced into captivity sometime in the 1700�s, the North African -Short-Haired baboon was utilized as laborers in small farming communities. -Today, they enjoy life in urban centers, often living 10 to a den. Sadly, -captivity and inbreeding has caused their learning ability to be suppressed -and their baser instincts to be more pronounced. Often, they will rely on -the gatherings of other species to survive. Utilizing their natural -nocturnal abilities, they stalk, undetected, through the habitats of these -other species, procuring what it necessary to survive from them, often in -the form of Televisions and Hi-top sneakers. -% -Making headlines across America is the Terri Shiavo case. This poor woman is -in a persistent vegetative state and the husband selfishly wishes for her -feeding tube to be left removed. This is appalling, not to just me, but to -the many Americans that feel she should be allowed to live. -www.terrisfight.org is a prime example. The husband seems to be missing the -larger picture here, she is still biologically functional, meaning that her -vaginal orifice is capable of self-lubrication even if she is unresponsive. -This make her the perfect mate. True, she cannot perform fellatio, she is -more than capable of being a semen receptacle for the husband that has loved -her for years. Please stop this madness and contribute to her cause! -% -Today, they enjoy life in urban centers, often living 10 to a den. Sadly, -captivity and inbreeding has caused their learning ability to be suppressed -and their baser instincts to be more pronounced. Often, they will rely on -the gatherings of other species to survive. Utilizing their natural -nocturnal abilities, they stalk, undetected, through the habitats of these -other species, procuring what it necessary to survive from them, often in -the form of Televisions and Hi-top sneakers. -% -My partner and I were having intercourse when his penis came out and we -heard a weird sort of pop noise and then he experienced a lot of pain and -when he looked at his penis he noticed there was some blood coming out of -the tip. After about 5 minutes there wasn't pain anymore, but because of hte -blood I am afriad it's broken. Thoughts? -% -hey everyone remember that one time when klerck shot himself directly in the -face with a shotgun and killed himself and we all were like "whoa" and he -was like "drip drip"... that shit was awesome -% -girl you must be an internet forum because i am about to try and impress you -using my stale in jokes from 1998 -% -I need a patient guy who will realize that I am just flustered when I belt -out something stupid when I am nervous like "your such a cute little guy" on -a first date. never heard from him again, hha. whatever. -% -girl you must be a taxidermy lab because you make me want to stuff a cock in -you -% -Intel isn't bad, but AMD's is just misleading. If I'm building a 64-bit AMD -system and I look and say "Hey, it's an AMD 64 4000+! That must mean it's -4000MHz which is 4GHz" Oh no! It's only 2.4GHz. At least Intel has the sense -to put the processor speed right in the name of the chip. I know someone is -going to chime in and bring up some obscure reason why the 2.4GHz is called -the "4000+" and declare it's there for more than a marketing ploy, but Joe -Consumer isn't going to think that. An AMD-64 4000+" sounds wayyyy cooler -than an "Intel-64 2.8GHz", right?Now, proceed to mod me down because I speak -ill of the underdog, right? Go on, I know you want to inject your bias into -moderation, it's okay. -% -I, personally, have a special connection to the video "Basic Training: San -Francisco Style." It was my bridge from Fisting to Scat. There is a scene in -it where a pretty young blonde boy (who I later learned was Dave, himself) -gets fisted with a very full ass. Needless to say it gets wonderfully messy. -I was so disgusted I couldn't stop watching it. I must have nearly worn out -that spot on the tape. -% -Basically my question to you is based on everything you've seen concerning -the character of Bardock and Goku, what would happen if Goku had an actual -meeting with his father? What words would they exchange? What would cause -such a meeting, etc? It can be any continuity you choose. Now that you know -what to write about, be creative and come up with what in your view would -happen if father and son were to meet. -% -girl, you must be an einstein-rosen bridge because i'd like to come inside -of you and then be somewhere else -% -I'm all about girls who have dicks coming out of their nipples with dicks -also coming out of those dicks and shit coming out of those dicks -% -YOU SPICAROONIS HAVE A WHOLE DAMN COUNTRY SO WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT WITH -OURS? ONCE YOU FILTHY FUCKS FINISH YOUR SILENT INVASION DO YOU THINK THIS -WILL STILL BE THE AMERICA IT ONCE WAS? FUCK NO. YOU FILTHY BEANERS WILL TURN -IT INTO ONE BIG FUCKING BARRIO LIKE YOU HAVE DONE TO THAT PIECE OF SHIT -MEXICO BECAUSE YOU BEAN EATERS ARE TOO FUCKING STUPID TO RUN A FUCKING -COUNTRY.YOU BEANERS TOOK OVER CALIFORNIA AND TEXAS. AND WE FUCKING GAVE YOU -NEW MEXICO. SO KEEP YOUR FILTHY ASSES THERE AND JUST HAVE THAT SHIT AND STAY -THE FUCK OUT OF THE REST OF THE COUNTRY. YOU HAVE YOUR WHOLE SO CALLED -COUNTRY DOWN THERE AND THREE BIG FUCKING STATES. BUT YOU FUCKERS REPRODUCE -FASTER THAN RABBITS AND HAVE MORE DAMN RELATIVES THAN A COCKROACH. AND ARE -TWICE AS FILTHY. SO I GUESS YOU NEED MORE ROOM. SHIT YOU PACK 50 OF YOU -BEANERS INTO A 2 BEDROOM APARTMENT SO YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE DO WITH -THOSE FUCKING STATES.DAMN I HATE TACO MUNCHERS. -% -When you see porn and your dick gets hard, try to touch your dick head with -your lips. I have licked many times my cockhead in this way. -% -Hey guys, if a Jedi perchance met the Wolverine in armed combat, who do you -think would win? Could Wolverine's mind resist the Force? Could the Jedi's -lightsaber cut through Adamantium? Discuss. -% -i think i may have roids but i don't know what they look like and i don't -have anything protruding out of my ass. everytime i go poop there is a -little blood on the toilet paper when i wipe. its not super painful and -pretty much feels like minor irritation. my buttcrack has been really dry -and flaky too almost like my crack wants to get deeper. wtf? i've been using -preperation h suppositories and the medicated pads for weeks now but nothing -has helped. i don't have money or insurance to see a doctor so if anyone has -had symptoms like this plz tell me what the hell is wrong with me and what i -can do to fix this. thx. -% -A romantic dinner with a large table cloth so you can go under the table in -the retaurant and blow me without the other customers seeing what you are -doing. Not that i am ashamed but I am just thinking of your dignity and all. -% -I'd like to get her on a bed, rip off her pants and her grannie underwear -that I just know she wears and then I'd like to flip her over and spread -those fat smelly cheeks apart, shove peanut butter in her bunghole, stick my -tongue in there and move it around like I am having an epileptic fit eating -the creamy treat from her ass. I'd also like to choke her by shoving my -schlong down her throat to the point where she is gonna pass out and then -pull out my cock and jerk off on her face while she is still delerious and -then squirt all over her cute face. -% -Not following the chat room rules will at the least get you a reprimand or, -at the worst, kicked or removed from the chat room. The Operators are here -to assist and make sure the chat room is a fun and friendly place to visit. -Channel Operators are not guards, but they take their jobs seriously. In the -event of unacceptable or disruptive behavior, you will be asked to leave the -room. -% -it's time for lunch. you'd like to chow. Fraid I've got some bad news right -now. The fridge a box of empty space, no sign of eats, not e'en a trace, oh -how you'd like a tiny taste, your stomach hurts, you find some Certs, -they're gobbled, gone, but breath is fresh, you're nearing death, you're -flailing on the kitchen floor, no more! just make the hunger leave, your -stomach grieves a SNACK you NEED you've GOT TO FEED YOUR CHEETOS ARE ALL -GONE OH GOD YOU'RE SORTING THROUGH THE TRASH: A WAD! USED PAPER NAPKINS -QUICK, YOU LICK! DELISH but what a TEASE just PLEASE I need some CHIPS you -weakly WHEEZE try empty KETCHUPs upside DOWN you LICK THE CRUMBS right off -the GROUND it's LUNCH LUNCH LUNCH and YOU MUST CHOW the trickling sweat -drops off your BROW from FRIDGE to SINK you madly DASH where did you hide -that CHEETO STASH O! during LAST WEEK's ENterPRISE you ATE THOSE CHEETOS not -so WISE so AS A DESPERATE LAST RESORT you GNAW your left hand's ugly WART -the TASTY FLAKES of DEAD DRY SKIN have turned this LOSS into a WIN but -STOMACH LETS his anGER KNOWN it GRUMBLES IN AN ANGRY TONE a FAT GEEK HUNGRY -ALL ALONE--HELP HELP THE FOOD ! THERE IS NONE HERE! EMPTY BOTTLES OF -CHEAP-ASS BEER YOU WRITHE ALONG THE GROUND AND FLOP! RELEASE THOSE BOWELS -WITH A *PLOP* oh GROSS YOU SMOOSH the TURDS so WARM and with a FBLURT out -trickles MORE but crazed you are. in NEED OF EAT you reach and get some -BROWN POO-MEAT. YOUR SHIT ALL OVER HANDS AND FACE YOUR TONGUE AFLAME WITH -POOPY TASTE the DOOR swings WIDE: NERD FRIENDS, a BUNCH "Hey, Asimov! WE -BROUGHT YOU LUNCH :O" -% -your mom is so fat that if planck's constant were 1 Js, she STILL wouldn't -be able to quantum tunnel through a potential of any significance -% -i had a great time last night. thanks for tying me up with carpenters rope -around my mantits and through the crack of my asshole and then facefucking -me while pouring candle wax all over my areolas, your spiked-toe boots -digging into my side while i am on all fours, back arched like a frightened -cat, begging for mercy as the thick bands of the rope run back and forth -teasing my grundel and burning my semen-encrusted pubic hairs, the smell so -engulfing i vomited all over your bed and then you vomited all over me and -then i shit myself and the rope made it split into two streams all over your -knees, running down to your ankles and toenails. i'd love to do it thursday -night again! -% -You give liberals a bad name. You give women a bad name. You give fucking -everyone who has the title "HUMAN BEING" a bad name.Go outside once in a -while and stop stuffing your bloated mouth with stale cheetos and flat -mountain dew. You might feel sexy in that thong but that thick and musty -smell wafting up your crotch proves that the best thing you could do for -your sex appeal is to do your laundry, and maybe take a damn bath.Tap, tap, -tap, your keyboard receives your idle, insipid wanderings. People care! you -tell yourself. Just look at your comments. There...are a few of them. -Proving that someone reads your drivel even when you post 5 pathetic little -vignettes about a tediously pedestrian life in a single day.teh_enchantress. -A pleasingly clever mixture of an internet in-joke and fantasy archetype? Or -a slavish parroting of the same tired memes that lonely boys and girls use -to try to find a place on an internet that refuses no one, least of all -pedophiles and hate groups?I know, I know. It's something to do when you get -to your room. YOu know, after a long trip to the bathroom, or having lunch -with your mom, or going out with your other fat friends. You can come back -to your computer and rant about how outrageous your recent bland adventures -were.Well, do yourself and the world a favor. Shut the fuck up forever, you -wanna-be slut. Your opinions aren't worth listening to, your life isn't -interesting, you aren't attractive. Live some of life and meet some human -beings. You're a social bulemic and you've been binging on the paper thin -personas of your internet friends, most of whom are probably overweight -engineers working at IBM in sexually frustrating marraiges.You think you'll -look back on this time of your life and laugh? I dare say you'll look back -and your lips will become a thin bloodless line as you realize what a -fucking waste it was. The relationships you could have had. The friends you -thought you made.And please avoid any real issues. Your understanding of any -political or social problems in the world is about as thick as your hymen -after you popped your cherry with a hello kitty dildo you bought while -tittering on instant messenger with your friends. Wau~~~ so cute. You -fucking shallow little wretch.In short, you are a female piece of refuse. -The cigarette butt that your parents smoked for the love they thought you -could give them, and then had stamped out as soon as they realized what a -piece of shit had erupted from your mother's vagina, which happens to be -rather overly-familiar in your neighborhood. Just shut the fuck up. Get out -of that goddamn chair in which you've spent so many needless hours.I -guarantee that unless you do something drastic, you should acknowledge that -this is truly as good as it will ever get. Because from this point on you'll -begin to realize the gossamer nature of any joy you might have thought you -were feeling--and that infintely deep well of loneliness will erupt so -sharply it'll cut your wrists.No, you're not complex. You're not deep and -you're not thoughtful. The pain torturing you isn't inscrutable and your -problems are not unresolvable. You're just stupider than you think, and that -will always frustrate you. You know you're not attractive, but your tenuous -grip on self-worth demands a lie. And your decrepit social life has the -prospects of a bumblebee in a Scandinavian September.Good luck doing the -unlikely. Some steps to help you on the way: plan your diet, start working -out, find a hobby, and read the newspaper. That is all. -% -Now go back to what you do best, which is apparently poking your nose into -others business because you're too bored with your own life. *pets joo* -% -We're the math nerds. Uh huh, that's us. Our glasses are thick; our skin -bleeding pus. Chalkboards are out and computers are in... Mathmatica, dude! -WTF have you been? We're crunching some primes while chatting on forums; -Star Trek and Star wars; the Great Pauly Shore--Um, this math problem's -simple to solve, can't you see? You need to brush up on your pi, roots, and -e. -% -The nigger is a subhuman monkey, ape, Fat lips, kinky hair, VIOLENT, RAPIST, -SMALL BRAIN (have you noticed how dumm most niggers are)and broad monstrous -noses, car jacking saucer-lipped, ignorant fecal colored, ghetto-living, -welfare-leeching, crack-smoking, hub-cap stealing. fried-chicken and biscuit -eating, watermelon-stealing, 6-yr-old-white-girl-shooting, serial-killing, -rapist, robber, murderer, adulterer, liar, fat-assed, white-woman-wanting, -loud-radio-at-2:00-a.m.-in-the-morning-playing, undisciplined, -tree-swinging, flat-congo-nosed, greasy afro-sheen, baggy-pants, and -side-ways cap-wearing, maya angelou-reading, Jesse Jackson-worshiping, Al -Sharpton, Louis Farrakhan and Malcum X-believing, disco doo-wop playing, -non-athletic, non-musical, shoplifting, non-political, trashy, nasty, -filthy, junk-around-the-house and litter-in-the-yard-keeping, incestuous, -hoe-beating, unfaithful, dice-shooting, numbers-playing, lottery-wishing, -roach-and-rat raising, lice-keeping, crab-farming, graffiti-tagging, -gang-banging, drive-by shooting, corner-hanging, unemployed, VCR, -television, and radio-pawning, cardboard-box-under the-bridge-living, -pork-rib three times-a-day-eating, buck-toothed, knock-kneed, semi-bald, -illiterate, cross-eyed, get-it-up-so-you-can-masturbate-to-gay-porn, -viagra-taking, connection-frequenting, jungle-visiting, cock-kissing -AfroInfectedDickSucking, spawn of a fat, greasy, nasty, sweaty, unwashed -slutty bitch whore that should never be trusted or allowed to free range in -Human areas. -% -Would you leave an otherwise perfect relationship if you found out your -partner was interested in children sexually? -% -There was this one time when I was so constipated from lack of proper diet -and opiate abuse that I strained so hard I passed out and hit my head on the -bathtub. I guess my bowels released when I was unconscious because I was -awakened by my dog licking a mixture of blood and feces from my swollen and -prolapsed rectum. To this day the muscles are so atrophied that I must wear -a special harness to keep my bowels from spilling into my rubber underwear. -% -WELCUM TO MY CHANNEL ON MIRC. READ DA RULES.TXT OR FACE A CONSEUQENCE!! -RATIO FTPz ONLY 0DAY 0HOUR 0LAMENIZ. DOWNLOADIN FILES OF DA INTANET. SUME1 -SEND ME A KEEJEN FOR DIS PROGGIEZ. ANYONE WANT TO SHAR PUBZ?????????? my -brother raped me when i was 6 -% -Does anyone else find it ironic that, as your virtual character gains -experience, wealth and social stature, your reality character is losing the -exact same things at the same rate? -% -The night begins, so sets the sun, but chatting now has just begun. T'will -yet be hours ere I am done, for I'm the chat world's favorite son. Although -by day I am made fun (they say that I weigh nigh a ton, they say ten feet I -cannot run), sour regrets; I have yet none. They may laugh and they may -shun, but words cannot match my shotgun; as fast and far as they may run, -I'll pick them all off one by one. -% -Fuck my ass 'till my ass is filled. Thrust that cock up to the hilt. Ours is -the house that Shepard built; all cocks hard and none shall wilt! Splatter -your jizz all over my face. Rub it on in like grade school paste. To my ass -your cock has laid waste; Mom still thinks that I am chaste ;) -% -Blog People (or their subclass who are interested in computers and the -glorification of information) have a fanatical belief in the transforming -power of digitization and a consequent horror of, and contempt for, heretics -who do not share that belief. Given the quality of the writing in the blogs -I have seen, I doubt that many of the Blog People are in the habit of -sustained reading of complex texts. It is entirely possible that their -intellectual needs are met by an accumulation of random facts and paragraphs. -% -they call me the King, of downloading THings, got bandwidth like no one on -Earth. My modems are hot, but the warez I got, adds to my collecting-stuff -mirth. I can't burn enough, CD's that are stuffed, with rars, zips, and -tars of all kinds, but I must be strong, download all night long, ignore -telltale OCD signs. -% -Guys, what I don't get about plane crashes and falling elevator deaths is: -why don't the victims just time it so that they jump straight up in the air -right before the plane hits the ground? The jump would be a little high, -yes, and you might break your ankle or even your leg, but isn't that better -than getting smashed to smithereens? -% -Me and my buddy were in downtown chicago and were walking to where he dad -works and we came across this bum in the walkway. All fucking sprawled out -across the sidewalk like it was his. My buddy pushed him with his foot and a -couple 40 oz'ers rolled out from underneath him. Fucking lazy ass bum so I -kicked him in the gut as hard as I could and he started puking up beer, -corn, and something that looked like it came outta some gay dudes ass. Some -security guard saw us and tried to chase us down but we were gone. Then I -went to see my dad and go to GOLDS GYM to bench press!!!!! -% -I like to show off that I freeball. I love to have my pants just so so I -show major butt crack also when I am at a urinal at a rest stop or sport -event I unzip and unbutton my shorts so that when I am pissing the shorts -drop down and everyone can see my bare ass! I love the feeling of guys -knowing i freeball. what do you guys do to show off? -% -girl u must be grouphug.us because i would make up any ridiculous story just -2 be on u -% -Seriously, I have the greatest respect for blacks. One of my best friends is -African-American. These people put up with so much hardship, just like -sufferers of Down's syndrome and mongoloidism. I'm just so proud they've -earned their place in American society. -% -why would I want to participate in your lousy conversation, you demagogue -clown. i find no interest in you. you used to be a good friend of mine, and -but you turned your back on me. you stabbed me right in the heart. the court -has found you guilty. you have been sentenced to death. -% -oh yeah you're such a dirty girl arent you year girl why dont you jack off -daddy yeah take daddy's hard cock in your tiny little doll hands oh yeah -that feels so good now jerk daddy's cock off back and forth you little whore -oh yeah -% -ur a very ugly jew thats thinks ur all that .. hope ur reading this cause u -look like a fukin whore with that nazty ass makeup... U fukin peice of shit -i hope ur dad rapes u till u cant move a muscle ... wat are u 14 and ur dads -like 60... ur parents sure like to get it on ...Blink Blink...I hope u and -ur jappy ass girl friends and boy friends die in hell where they will meet -hitler and have some fun with him in bed .. if u kn ow what i mean -% -Pudge Picnic : chubs on chubs with flab to spare. "No condoms!" yelled, -but we don't care! Dude's be fucken, dudes be fucked, dudes be shittin, -dudes be sucked. Writhing on the concrete floor, these chubs are sluts. -They're obese whores! And gross! They've never taken baths. Too much -chili! Awful gas!!! -% -PENIS in BUTT. SPERM mixed FECES. FASTEN your SILVER COCK to my GOLDEN -HOLE. My STOOL is the SATIN SHEET for your VISITING HARD-ON. Ejaculate -RAPIDLY and REPEATEDLY on my BACK and ANKLES. DELICIOUS. -% -a little squirt of doody came out when I was picking up that heavy jug of -milk, when i took of my spideyman underoos to check it out there were little -squiggly things in it.. they were moving : ( -% -Holy lord you are being duped. Napster is really run by the MPAA and when -you download the music it tracks you on a FEDERAL GOVERNMENT server and it -begins to hack ur toonz. Then the service goes under and the files self -destruct leaving your HDD as a pile of googabits. Cant you FOOLS see that -this is just a plan to get you to JERK your DUMB NUTS while wearing ASSLESS -CHAPS so that the MPAA hax ur data and enters ur base to kill ur doodz. If I -see anyone using CRAPster or iCOONS i'll be sure to beat their head in using -my engorged dong for their own safety ohh yeah. -% -I cut myself because I find it an artform, just like tattoo's, but I LIKE -cutting a beautiful drawing into myself, as I did it and I drew it. But I -did cut along time ago so, that might be it. Anyway, I only cut when it -fades and needs touching up, but it sure feels good! -% -Sometimes I cut my penis when I get depressed...Unfortunatly, I managed to -half-circumsize myself last night, after I got incredibly depressed about my -girlfriend leaving me. I was devastated. -% -In all the outcry against them, too many people are forgetting the -contributions pedophile catholic clergymen have made to our society. Did you -know that the term "Joshing" someone, meaning to kid actually comes from -Joshua Fairbanks, an altar boy famous for believing Father Jacob Cooper's -laughable claim that he could perform the miracle of transubstantiation if -Joshua allowed him to ejaculate in the boy's mouth. ohh yeah -% -Shut the fuck up, you fucking hippy. No one cares about the fact that you -don't own a TV or think TV is only for idiots, or whatever other attitude -your elitist comment is about. Take it to the coffee shop, asshole. -% -Dr. Huxtable broke into the clinic and held me at gunpoint. I was his -patient, in for my yearly pap smear. I couldn't believe it when he came in -the door for the exam with a machete in his hands. He demanded that I take -off my clothes, and begin to fellate him. He waved the machete around like a -madman, so i complied. I was forced, at knife point, to take his entire -penis into my mouth. Then I rubbed my clit and got off ohh yeah -% -Dude's fucking dudes. Everybody on the floor. No condoms No condoms! -% -yo what drugs u into? im all about the opiumnitrous / dxm / ketamine / acid -/ weed / hydrocodone / ultram / oxy / demerol / morphine / codeine / -dihydrocodeine / heroin / mdma / salvia / 5-meo-dipt / 5-meo-amt / amt / -rohypnol / ghb / mda / hash / kavakava / adderall / dexedrine / ritalin / -ephedrine / caffeine / alcohol / cocaine / shrooms / tobacco / xanax / -klonopin / valium / ambien / soma / flexeril / zanaflex / zoloft / paxil / -ether / spraypaint / phenobarbital / ativan / air duster -% -girl you must be alan greenspan because you have just raised my interest -rate by several percentage points -% -wiggle thatass.pop a tab and smoke a fatty. happy everyday until we crash at -your dads. boom tisk in our ears and amphetamines in our blood.giving -blowjobs in the stalls to pay for $10 water.this moment will last -forever.mom and dad broke up because of me -% -Again and again and again, I grow weary of junior high school English -teachers trying to correct people's speech only because they encounter -language forms they aren't familiar with. For the love of Mary, face it! -Your English is only good enough to teach the average Mexican or Cambodian -refugee to put together three-syllable words into coherent sentences used to -beg for money, alcohol, drugs or shelter. Stop pretending you know English -better than God and everyone else. Comprehend that the mere fact you were -teaching English in the first place means that you weren't smart enough to -do anything more productive and therefor your language skills are firmly -confined to the mediocre. STFU. -% -These goddamn trolls interrupting my flow. These niggas don't respek us with -a +o. They gotta color spam and fake invite, bombing with asciis in yellow -on white. Shit yeah. it's bright, you 12 year old kiddie. You ain't got -pubes and you ain't seen titty. I'll jupe your chans and ban your ass. -Don't message me with plz unban, your chance has passed! Other opers -crappin up our relay net. Why haven't you delinked your 386 yet? ircd needs -xeons and dual cpus. When it comes to irc hardware, you can't be a jew. -Shit, nobody knows the trouble I've seen. On invites for websites with -naked teens. Begs for ops and packet attacks. Shit from users who use vi, -not emacs. Another long day of patrolling the IRC. Eating my doritos, and -having a jerk, I chat with TheWalrus and #nanog faggots. All this niggas -do is complain "the lag it's-- bad, chat is slow, and we're getting -harassed." Shit, trolls, this k-line is your last. Once more and it's "G" -and you're gone for good. Banned from the internet chatting neighbourhood. - It's lonely at the top. Just me and CHANFIX. Day in and day out. Banning -trolls with my linux. We give safe harbor to chatters world wide. From -pedophiles to hacker thieves. Yeah, I won't lie: IRC is a cesspool of -e-misfits. EazyCheezes and bagel-cutters like that nigga BitS. But at -least we're the best. Disagree and you're gone. BRB, mom just told me -gotta mow the lawn. -% -but dont 4get 2 take ur pills ok GUY'S dumb bastards.....LMFAO..and yes i -can spell un like u DUMB-EEESSSS .and i like caps 2 -% -I enjoy black butts, butts in my face, butts which haven't been wiped, black -dongs in my rectum, big sweaty black balls in my mouth, thick black dongs -slapped across my face. I enjoy pressing my face into asses and sniffing -them. I can take 2 cocks in my asshole and 3 in my mouth. I lick cocks and -butts. I shake my ass in front of people's face before they fuck it hard. I -wear a cock ring and enjoy letting people chain me up and piss on me. -% -i'm going to jump through my screen and through the internet and into your -face -% -im gonna lift you with a forklift so high you'll beg to come down -% -Hey website administrator, suck my motherfuckin' dick, you shit-lickin' -asswipe. You probably fuck your mother up the asshole, don't you? What a -little, wet, wimpering vagina you are! P.S. Herbert Mantooth, you are the -love of my life and I want to ram my shit-covered cock up your juicy -rump-hole and then suck your balls raw, you big-city bad-boy bitchass -buttfuck!!! Then I want to piss in your ass... -% -I'm so sick of all this "digital" vs analog crap. Guys, if you ANAL-logue -people want "Warmth" just mix white noise into the sound file, or use shitty -cables. That's what you're paying $5000 a preamp for, suckers! -% -i heard some wolves dig up natural cannabis plants and get thc in their -paws, but i never thought it was true until a wolf was hit by a car in front -of my house! i smoked the paws and was six different kinds of fucked up -% -Dumb Dongs, Dumb Dongs, Why Have You Left Me. How I miss those long nights, -when you raped me so deftly! As the rain pitter pattered the shanty's metal -roof, and my back felt the sting of your biting tooth. a single tear down my -cheek, the pleasure of pain. Dumb dongs, won't you come back again? Again, -I pray...please, to me! Dumb dongs is what I want to see! And if you'll -never come back to nest, I can't be blamed for what comes next. Now I -furiously scrape my Mach3, on my wrists for from life I flee. My skin -getting all irritated, but I fear my dumb-dongless death is fated. Dumb -Dongs, we had good times, and we had bad. From that first fondle when I was -a lad...to teenage cockparties where semen was drunk. But I'm left with no -Dongs and I'm utterly sunked. Dumb Dongs, au revoir, my lovely stiff pal. -Fuck this suicide shit. I'll jus t fuck gals. -% -DING DONG WONG GOT A RAP FOR MY CLOWNZ IM FAT AND UGLY; DEY PULL MY PANTS -DOWNZ AT SCHOOL, AND ITS CRUEL AND DEY TINKS DEY IS COOL BUT NIGGAZ GONNA -GET WHOOPED LIKE A NON-CLOWNY FOOL WHAT WHAT DONT MESS WITH JUGGALO DUDES -OR ELSE WE WILL SIT ON YOU AND YOULL BE DOG FOODZ IT'S NOT THAT IM FAT--MOM -SAYS MY BONES' BIG SHUT DA FOOQ UP BEFORE I SPLITZ YA WIG FOOdongs -% -Now, what do you kids expect from an operating system coded by a man named -Linus. You expect complete compatibility? He always has to carry a blanket -with him wherever he goes, and asks Charlie Brown (hes a clown!) for help. -He's supposed to be the saviour of the computing world? I'll put my money -and my computer in good hands with Bill Gates and Microsoft. Because even in -this review, you have to make reference to Windows XP, proving your -inferiority complex. Good day. -% -The Fart Fantasy: Expel your gas, I deeply inhale. The fresh fart from an -athletic male. Ohhh yes it's good, sweet and pungent. An aromatic fecal -luncheon! with delicate bouquet and wispy taste, this fart's among the best -I've faced. Your nose wrinkled in abject disgust? Oh no, it's good. Try -it--you must! Farts are nature's true delight. If you want some, theres no -need to fight! Form a line right at my ass. Just wait for me to pass that -gas. Your taste buds exploding, flavor extreme. I dont know about you, but -it makes me cream. My pants that is, spurting now. Theres only one proper -response - WOW. -% -OMG U WILL NOT GET THE TRANSIENT DAMPENING U NEED U MIGHT AS WELL UZE UR -RADIO SHAK EARFONES 2 MIC UR DRUM KIT WHICH IS MADE FROM 5 GALLON BUCKETS -WHILE PLAYING UR MILK CARTON UKELELE AND INSTEAD OF RECORDING IT JUST HAVE -SOME GUY PROMISE TO TRY REALLY HARD TO REMEMBER WHAT IT SOUNDED LIKE SO HE -CAN TELL EVERYONE LATER -% -i gobbled up turds. Yes. it was me!! I creeped into the mens room of my -local mcd's. Murder is wrong, and sodomy's a sin, but there ain't nothin -wrong with this shit eating grin. Shit eating grin! Shit eating grin. I'm -a fecal feasting faggot, always have been. Shit eating grin! Shit eating -grin! Well hey you guys, what's happenin? :) -% -Folks, as we reflect on this massive tragedy, it behooves us to consider -another giant wave sweeping the globe killing indiscriminantly, a wave of -zionist oppresion. We need to divert funds away from this piddling natural -disaster to fight the REAL threat: the Jewnami -% -the only reason they are fighting for the marriage thing is just to bitch -about something, if they get the right to marry theyll bitch about something -else nothings good enough for homosexuals and various forms of coloreds. not -only do they have forced equality but they have extra benifits and weak -minded people tiptoeing around them trying to be PC. and then they try to -force beliefs onto people. its ok for them to disagree and feel and think -what they want, but then they try to enact various forceful tactics on -people who are equally but oppositely off the norm as they are, such as -racists. they have just as much right to feel the way that they do as a -homosexual does to feel the way they do. marraige is not a civil right, but -the ability to hate something is -% -Anime characters gone wild. Non stop hardcore erotic anime moments captured -on film, Shockingly hot steamy scenes of famous anime characters exploring -wild sexual fantasies. Warning: Anime Fiction contains explicit raunchy -content (yeah baby!) and is definitely not suitable for a candlelit romantic -evening with a loved one, unless you both like watching anime characters get -it on! -% -why dont you linux users just shove all this open source bullshit up your -own ass. no one cares about compiling or configuring or any of the bullshit -you constantly jack off about. we normal people just care about chatting -and sending email to our friends and viewing the www so please shut the fuck -up about foxfire or whatever the fuck tangent you're going off on. thanks -for reading this. dongs. -% -Chat. Chat. Till the sun is gone. Chat till your eyes sag and your cheeks -are wan. Quickly sip that fizzing mountain dew. Pop a few cheetos in your -mouth and chew. Pimply fat nerdlings huddled on the puter. #Chatterz: -Final Destination for those without a future. -% -The Flu Fuck: blow that snot into your hand. wipe it on your tongue oh man. - crunchy crunch, the boogers go. Gulp! you swallow. Down they go. Uh-uh-uh -here comes sneeze. Achoo! You're bent, hands on your knees. A prodding's -felt, betwixt your cheeks. What the heck? It's a linux geek With cock -unfurl'd, he rips your pants. Nothing can stop this fag's advance. In it -goes, his cock doth plunge. Your memory will never ever expunge: this -terrible memory of assrape uncouth. Why didn't he wait? Only 10 feet from -glory hole booth -% -It's about time I told the truth. The reason I don't like gays is that when -I was in the navy I had several homosexual experiences and so i know what -faggots get up to is the devils work. This black guy in my dorm used to make -me suck his dick and then he'd pump my ass full of his vile semen and there -was nothing I could do about it. The shit eating faggot had me trapped there -for months at sea so I had to suck his rancid sambo dick until we got back -to port. That's why faggots will burn in a lake of fire and why I now have -to wear a colostomy bag. -% -MTV is responsible for brainwashing the youth into thinking that niggers are -gods and that rap is music! The garbage that they pump into kids heads -should be punishable by death via anal electrocution! And has anyone seen -the advertisement for the video game called grand theft auto-san andreas? -Isn't that special? A game that glorifies niggers selling crack and running -the streets with rocket launchers, shooting at cops and speaking ebonics! -God I hate niggers so much I can taste blood! -% -Perhaps the hottest thing to do with Ashlee Simpson would be to -(consensually) punch her in the face as hard as possible, busting her nose -and lip, licking her bloody face all over, sticking your tongue down her -throat and swapping blood and saliva for hours whilst playing with her raven -hair and rubbing your hard-on against her thigh and crotch. -% -I can't yawn loud enough. Every person has met you. The "crazy guy" who -comes up with half-inspired shit. -% -TAKE THE RED PILLTAKE THE BLUE PILLTAKE THE RED PILLTAKE THE BLUE PILLTAKE -THE RED PILLTAKE THE BLUE PILLTAKE THE RED PILLTAKE THE BLUE PILLTAKE THE -RED PILLTAKE THE BLUE PILLTAKE THE RED PILLTAKE THE BLUE PILLTAKE THE RED -PILLTAKE THE BLUE PILLTAKE THE RED PILLTAKE THE BLUE PILLTAKE THE RED PILL -% -hahahah shit face, yes i'm so jealous of you!!! i wish i was some ugly ass -kid who lived his entire flaccid existence for the joy getting hits on some -internet forum. it must be better than getting hits to the face that your -alcoholic step father gives you, right? you fucking piece of miserable shit. -i feel sorry for your shit parents. -% -Still dialing 911 for emergency police services? If you're like many people -in the New York area, these simple numbers can be a painful reminder of -loved ones lost in the terrible tragedy of September 11, 2001. -% -Trolls of trolls. You don't get this. We make jokes that you're sure to -miss. LOL at LOL, Rolling on the floor. Laughing or Crying? You ass-ruined -whore. This troll's so meta you choked on a chip. Too much ranch dressing, -you slant-eyed nip. Go back to Everquest and pretend you're a girl. We're -the royalty of trolls. Kings, dukes and earls. -% -For those of you who dont know: The south beach diet consists of eating the -moist turds from the discarded bathing suits abandoned at the beach. -% -People, am I the only one who realizes that binary packages are almost -useless? Except a few basic packages (as in USE independent, e.g. gcc), the -result depends greatly by the USE variable. Let's take for example the -mod_php package. How useful a binary mod_php will be? -% -buddy, if you were a girl i would take u out to a nice steak dinner (w/ -plenty of steak fries) and a movie (has to be matinee tho) -% -hi my names jimmy and im 13 and the other day i was playing with myself -while watching showcase and i realised i couldnt quite reach my fireman with -my mouth. so what i did was i took a small straw and shoved it down my -urethra. and i started to blow really hard.. now i have a small bubble like -figure on the side of my fireman.. could this be from blowing into the -straw??? -% -Algebra is the class today. All these numbers are making me gay. Square root -of this, cosine of that. Goddamn the math teacher is fat. Equations and -proofs, I can't take any more. She might be fat, but hey : She's a whore. -I'll calculate the angle to ruin her cunt. Drive in my protractor, for a -calculator I hunt. Need to calculate this math bitch's weight. Oh fuck I've -been crushed ; too late. -% -Uhm, excusez-moi, but as a regular on the richest channel on EFnet, I think -I have the authority to deem you a pusillanimous troll. Go back to dipping -your stale cheetos in your ramen, you white trash -too-poor-to-afford-neutrogena too-stupid-to-know-Biore-is-better pizza-faced -nerd. I'm going to go ejaculate into a fresh silk scarf, hand made by a Thai -company in which my father has a controlling interest. I'm just glad your -inane blather only took a small portion of my glorious 30" Apple LCD. -% -I also like to eat poop. One time my girlfriend came over and i just ate her -poop. She got very very angry wehen i tried to kiss her she like said " you -are the sickest person in the world you sick fuck" then i said what you -don't like to eat poop. I mean i don't see the big deal i mean i have been -doing it since i was a kid. I nevver had any friends because i would always -eat there poop after they pooped it out. Since i never had any friends I -just made friends with my poop. I would make racecars out of my poop and -burn my penis with cigar buds. I think you should just live with it -% -fuck with me and i'll instant message you with text size 25 -% -I flogged my engorged penis in a manic phase. My scrotum, hairless and taut, -basked in warm rays. Glistening with sweat, Oh how it did shine. The helmet -of a gladiator from olden time. Two bronzed eggs, such a glorious sight. A -symbol of manhood and all that is right. You may choose to snicker or call -me queer. Make no mistake; I don�t take it in the rear. -% -Look here "dad", the thing you need to understand about your daughter is -that she WANTS to be raped. She LIKES it. Look at the way she dresses! If -she wanted to be left alone she would wear the burqa allah so wisely -dictates. Instead she dresses like a western harlot, she desires to be -beaten and raped like all sluts of the west. If you were a better father to -her, this wouldn't have happened but that was then, and this is now, and I'm -not going to let you stand in the way of her happiness any longer. If you -want to get untied any time soon, I suggest you quit screaming and let me do -what must be done in peace. -% -You wouldn't think it to look at me, but I am a serious badass and I will -mess you up if you so much as look at me funny. A lot of people were -executed last year in this state for that deadliest of crimes: Fucking with -me. So step back off of my IRC channel if you know what's good for you, -BITCH. -% -Earlier today, while talking to a client about her policy, I accidentally -said "I'm pro rape" instead of "I'll pro-rate your account". She tried to -ignore the slip up, unfortunately I complicated matters by gagging her with -my necktie and repeatedly raping her. Sometimes I think I must not care -about Geico shareholder value at all. -% -I cant believe this. I bought this Radeon X800XT and I'm only getting 70 FPS -in the latest action game. The manufacturer's drivers are shit, and the -programming for the game is sub-standard. I spend my good money, and I -demand 72 FPS for my entertainment pleasure. I will attempt registry hacks, -extreme overclocking/cooling and DLL replacement to achieve the necessary -result, but if I am not successful, this game is the worst in history and -should be consigned to your recycle bin. Good day. -% -This fucking faggot just pisses me off becuz he and I were internet dating -and he broke up with me for some other fuckin newbie. Ima tell you what -don't internet date him cuz he cheats on you and he is mean. Im going to -hack him soon and hes going to wish he never met me that fuckin faggot. -% -Insane Clown Posse MegaRap - We're da Insane Clown Posse. We're overweight -and bossy. Oh shit you gotta know what's up. To be hardcore you need -make-up. Closet faggots all are we. Fiddle my balls and my pee-pee. Insane -Clown Posse? More like Loony Queer Gang. One dude who's more attractive than -us: Shredder's pal Krang. We're weird and we're angry and we don't conform -at all. Of course we've never faught before, we'd run from any brawl. You -coward! You goddamn pussy. Can't you handle us? It's not our fault cheetos -taste good and we've got ample guts. Raw raw, I'm Violent J and I play the -trombone. I march in the school marching band; I've got a loving home. My -life sucks bad and I kill cops and shit on toilet seats. I curled my hair -and did my face and now I'm selling beats. For legions of you fat-assed -fucks think I'm the coolest thing. But all I do is amplify my farts and -yelling, sing. In secret I buy Eminem to study up his rhymes. but I don't -get it, how he does, I cry to Mom and whine. My favorite sport is Ninja and -I always dress in black. It looks a little awkward in gym class when I run -track. I never bring the proper clothes--of changing I am scared. What if -the jocks see how my tighty-whities are all teared? I only wear one pair, -of course. For more would be a waste. And after a long day, well, I just -LOVE it how they taste. That sour sweet of sweat and shit forever on my -lips. It's not my fault if briefs well used will in time, rip. Wash my -clothes, you dare suggest? Hygiene's invoked my ire. I scrub myself with -oil from a pack of Oscar Meyers. Dead people, gore and blood. It's shocking -is it not? Check it out, my older brother might get me some pot. Once my -dad gave me some beer and yes, I took a sip. Let me say, it's good! I -couldn't even handle it. And tuesday after school my friend named Mike -gave me a cig! But I was scared of smoke-caused cancer. Maybe when I'm -big... Instead I wrestle with my pals in first or second grade. I want to -beat those little punks, but in truth, well, I'm afraid. They pin me down -and kick me in the head so violently, and when I lay, a sobbing heap, they -squat on me and pee. Juggy Juggy Juggalo two four six. This is Linkin Park -produced exclusively by hicks. I'm the terror from Vermont, the danger -state with trees. Yeah, I'm from the cuts. It's practically LBC. I'm good -at mathematics but I don't like history. but more than doing homework I read -Nancy Drew myst'ries. So you see it doesn't get any more hardcore than this -clown. You better watch yourself or--OOPs O shit! I just made brown. I -don't have such a good control of muscles in my rear. Just one drawback of -being an HIV plus queer. Sometimes Dad dresses like Gandalf, does me up as -Frodo. My mom watches--she kind of looks like hunchback Quasimodo. The -ring of power tween my cheeks; his middle in my earth, his burly arms fast -wrapped around my rarely-cleansed girth. I try to tell my teachers of my -plight, my awful tale. But when I get to Frodo: "Holy shit I DO NOT CARE." -A juggalo cannot exist if Daddy is a-rapin. But in truth, you get to like -it so there's no escapin'. What's it matter that my songs completely lack a -tune? My customers are tone-deaf pusillanimous poltroons. They listen in -the desperate wish that they'll become less nerdy. "I can't go to parties," -they say. Bed time is seven thirty. Rebel they will, alone in a bedroom -with door a-signed. "No girls allowed," boldly proclaimed. I don't think the -girls mind. Sipping mountain dew and with a pop a new can-Pringles, they -protest online. Forum posts. these fags: forever single. I'm ninety pounds -above the line. They say I'm overweight. So what if I could never ever ever -get a date. Yo! I'm a clown and I'm crazy and I sing scary shit. I've got a -gang of white kids who in front of Linux sit. The white screen pales their -faces which are pocked with pimples many, they spend their nights with pants -unzipped, jerking to Brain and Penny. This you see's my posse and you betta -represent. Don't be male or have a cock--our pants'll be a tent. This's -Violent J now, signing off, concluding this show live. It's time to show my -true ID! Love, Mega Man 5 I LOVE PEE -% -hi, i came across a picture on 'rate my poo' a few weeks ago, of a female -bent over in a forest or something, with a long 'log' coming out of her -backside. it's since been vanished from the site - any chance of it being -re-posted, or getting a copy of it emailed to me? that would be great! -thanks....... -% -I'm a Vietnam Vet. I don't like gooks, Islam and all that shit. It is a just -war in Iraq. Those son of a bitchin Iraqi's are trying to make other people -live like them, including you. Look at what they did to the Kurds, the -invasion of Kuwait and the beheadings of the internationals who have nothing -to do with the war. They're cowards and eventually will be eliminated if for -anything, their oil. The John Kerry liberals of the world are also your -enemies along with the fuckin' U.N. Koffi Annan is nothing but a -lying/stealing thief with interests in the middle east. Fuck 'em all. I'm -glad we went to war without 'em. Remember, it wasn't too long ago that we -were at war with G.Britain, Germany, Japan. North Korea is next. Kim Il Jung -has shit for brains and will also meet his fate. Don't trust those fuckin' -Russians either. The history of war always repeats itself. I would rather -fight and die, not for the liberal fagots of this country, but for my own -piece of mind and revenge. Fuck all that talk about colateral damage. How -much colateral damage was done in New York? -% -Just as there are warnings on cigarette packages that smoking will give you -cancer, White people should be warned that their risk of getting AIDS is -increased dramatically by having sex with Negroes. Not that a National -Socialist, or any racially aware White person, would ever in a million years -have a desire to have sex with a Negro! However, many of our racial brothers -and sisters are victims of anti-White propaganda and actually believe that -race-mixing is a good thing. These people should be made aware that their -chances of getting AIDS is increased by such actions.Negroes, who only make -up about 13% of the US population, now account for more than half of all new -H.I.V. infections, according to the Centers for Disease Control and -Prevention. Negro females account for 72 percent of all new cases among -women. These facts should shake the racially numb White into reality! -% -You have all been brainwashed. Yes the airwaves taught you that hating -blacks is wrong and they do not stop there. They are telling us that we must -accept faggots rights. They tell us when we are preaching the word of God -about how God hates the HOMOS that we are commiting hate crimes. Another -buzzword for you simpletons to use to make yourself think you are a tolerant -intelligent person. I guess you folks think you are smarter than God. You -tell the semen drinking feces eating faggots that they have a right to do -what they do even if it kills them with disease. You say I cannot preach my -bible and warn these filthy faggots where they will spend eternity should -they continue this vile lifestyle. Does anyone have tolerance for a person -living a Christian lifestyle. Who sticks up for us? -% -I always told myself I would try anything once but this was a total failure. -Was smoking some killer hash in denmark and met this american african woman -named shawna. She seemed to be educated and we hit it off. One thing led to -another and then She gave me a BJ which was really good and when I went down -on her I vomited. I lied and told her I had a cold with post nasal drip. I -have sores in my mouth. After wiping the vomit off of her and a couple lines -of coke I entered her doggy style. Good thing she would have made me -dismount after the expression of the stench I experienced. It was a terrible -diareah stench which from what i hear is normal. I had to take yet another -line of coke to finish the job. The sex was below average and dismal if you -consider the hideous odor I went through. Just got back from the Doctor and -I have the clap. I thought Americans were clean. WTF? -% -FUCC ALL U DAYM HATERSZ..U CAN JUX EAT DIS FRESH LAO PUSSY RYT HER NIGGUH!!! -I DONT GIVUH DAYM IF PPL CALL ME A FUCCIN HOE CUZ I NOE IM NOT. DATS ALL U -GUYS FUCCIN DO IS 2 TALK SHIT ABOUT ME?? IS DAT ALL U CAN FUCCIN DO? U NO -WAT? I DONT GIVUH DAYM CUHZ! FUCC U NIKKAS DER AINT ROOM 4 HATERSZ IN MAH -LIFE AND SOUL NIGGUH FUCC U! DIE N GO 2 HELL BITCH! ALL U DO IS JUDGE ME BYE -DA WAY I DRESS AND U DONT NOE DA WHOLE STORY. DONT JUX JUDGE DA BOOK BY DA -COVER! READ DA WHOLE STORY FIRST! I FUCCIN HATE ALL U FUCCIN HATERSZ! U -DONT NOE WAT IVE BEEN THREW! U NOE WAT! FUCC ALL U HATERSZ! U FUCCIN DISGUST -ME! U MAKE ME WONA SPIT AT CHU! NiKKuH FuCc aLL Da HaTeRsZ uP iN DiZ ShiiT! -% -Well, what else is open? Besides your mouth...when you're like kissing on -some gay dude and like holding his muscles, cuz his arms just are like -wrapped around you...and you feel like so safe cuz you're like, you know, -not like you're gay or nothin' but God you just want to like bury yourself -in his chest and just live there forever. -% -Mac supporters are always criticizing Intel processors for their deadend -CISC processors. Well, I just have to say it's not worth the weight gain. -So what the G5 has a more promising future? I've seen the obesity figures on -Mac users. Is using a Bisque processor worth the risks of being overweight? -% -Computers affect almost every aspect of our lives, from driving to alarm -clocks to music to refridgerators to our leisure time to our social lives to -ad nauseum. These things are intertwined with our lives in ways that are -often unnoticed, yet they affect us directly - so directly that I think that -when we are talking about the latest Mac product, we're not talking about a -"product" but about a way of life. -% -your a little bitch..all you do is sit at home on ya comp looking for free -homosexual website...................come to arizona mother fucker.the -desert juggalos will be waitin.hows bout you o to every state and walk up to -some real juggalo killas and tell em to they face icp sucks..then we see -whos tough....your talking hit through a fucin creen......HA HA HA HA HA -pussy -% -White women simply can't get enough black dick, it's a proven fact. You may -think your wife is faithful, but this is generally only the case if she's -not attractive enough to land a black cock of her own. Don't believe me? -Think about how many black men your wife or girlfriend interacts with EVERY -DAY. Odds are, she's fucking at least one of them, maybe more! -% -I've been running Windows XP since beta2, and it really kicks ass. I don't -have to recompile my kernel when I want to install an ethernet card, it -automatically detects it and installs the drivers no matter who the -manufacturer is. Dual monitors? No chore with windows, get two video cards, -two monitors and it's set up! I don't need to edit config files with editors -that are 20 years old, and show it. Intellimouse custom buttons? Piece of -cake, with my Intellimouse software.You want to run games? Great! Choose -from an array of tens of thousands of games that run great under DirectX and -the NT subsystem. Stability got you down? Not in this version, I have had -uptimes of over a month (and then the damn power goes out). Good internet -browser? No need for Kommunist shit, you've got the great Internet Explorer -6 a click away. Doing some development? Nothing but the best for Windows -users, choose from a suite of Visual Studio products that suits your needs, -with one killer IDE. Or, pick up a beta edition of Visual Studio.NET if you -have 200 megs of RAM to spare! You Linux faggots can keep rooting for your -piece of shit operating system that Windows 3.1 tops in terms of -compatibility, all the while hindering your experience for something else -you could be doing, while I use the operating system of choice (or by -default) for over 200 million others in the world. Anti-Microsoft zealots -piss and moan all you want, but your queer little OS won't be the reigning -desktop champion anytime soon. -% -Yep, Heidi Klum has done it, she�s shown just how low she will go. It�s sad -in a way, but to be expected, she isn�t getting any younger, and what better -way to bring attention to yourself, than to show the world you�re a -low-class nigger-loving slut-whore black pole-humping piece of euro-trash? -At one time, early in her career, she was quite beautiful, but now, she�s -just another pig. She�s no different than the usual white trash that ends up -dating/marrying this unevolved species that time forgot. So, farewell Heidi, -hope you get pregnant, and have the opportunity to raise future criminals, -murderers and rapist, er, I mean children -% -A special warning about Matrox; they are from Canada, and so their products -do not meet the demanding electrical standards required of American computer -equipment and because their chipsets are mostly illegal counterfeits of -American chips, you may encounter unexpected bugs and compatibility problems -with standard APIs such as DirectX. ATI is also Canadian and has the same -problems; counterfeit computer part manufacturers are attracted to Canada -by its lax intellectual property laws. -% -Don't open those emails. Don't surf that page. Lock yourself in a faraday -cage. Your monitor'll pop and your CPU will fry. All I have to do is click -the button labeled: Die. I've got your IP targeted, your DNS uncloaked. -Surrended and pony up, or click and Boom: You're smoked. -% -The closest I've ever come to sucking my father's dick was the time he -caught me going through the trashcan in his bedroom. As a teenager growing -up, I would always search my parents' bedroom trashcan for used condoms. I'd -slide the used condoms over my own cock and jerk off with them, excited by -the feeling of my father's jizz and by the idea of adding my own fuckload -into his. Well, he eventually caught me kneeling over the trashcan, sticking -my tongue deep into one of the sticky used condoms and stroking my cock with -my free hand. I was literally caught with my pants down, and there was no -way for me to hide what I was doing. After what seemed like several horrific -minutes of stunned silence, he finally mumbled something about the fact that -at least I was growing up into a healthy young man, and that I shouldn't -stop what I was doing or I'd get blueballs. As embarrassed as I was, my cock -didn't want me to stop what I was doing, either. My father sat next to me on -the bed while I continued to sit on the floor jerking off. The novelty of -this situation had me horny as fuck but also a bit nervous (sort of like -performance anxiety) and it took me a while to finally pump out my cream. As -I started to shoot off, I felt an unexpected sensation on my shoulder. My -father had been stroking his own cock as well, and he orgasmed at the same -time I did. I quickly turned around and saw him pump out another two or -three streams of cum. His eyes were screwed tight, and that fact made me -bold enough to lean in close enough to gently lick on the slit of his -swollen cockhead. I got the last drop of his spunk on my tongue. If he -noticed, he never let on. So I actually tasted my father's jizzcream, both -from his used condoms and directly from his cock, but I never did actually -blow him. But maybe one of these days I'll have the guts to ask him if he'd -let me. I think he might just not mind! -% -Did you know? The real reason slavery was abolished in the United States was -the discovery that niggers would gladly continue working in the fields all -day in order to buy themselves shiny shoes and fried chicken in order to -demonstrate their newfound wealth and freedom to other fellow niggers. By -removing the financial sensibilities of the white man from these shitskinned -jungle turds, our society has flourished greatly in the last 140 or so years. -% -It's just retarded 10yr old humor. Oh wow, Topless chick made out of pixels, -being zoomed in on by a perv. The desert comment doesn't even make sense, -there's grass there. Also, You can clearly tell she's dead, So that would be -fantasizing necrophelia. Good job. Sick bastards. -% -We need to remove laws which prohibit civilian ownership of rocket propelled -grenades and mobile surface to air missiles to enable our patriots to -overthrow the state in the event a tyrannical government takes power. -% -My mouth is at your disposal. Use it for your pleasure as I'm a GREAT -cocksucker. Use it for your toilet as I'll drink your piss and eat your shit -turd logs. You may treat me however it is that you want, whatever makes you -HOT HARD and HORNY. I like guys 50 yrs or older. Straight/Bi/Gay -Married/Single/Whatever...I am discreet. I am single and live alone in Long -Beach California, so would like to keep action in Long Beach California, so -would like to keep action in the LA/Northern Orange county area. I can -either host or come to you. I await your golden logs, mouth watering. -% -what is the point of gay marriage ? marriage as an institution exists to -keep people who don't love each other together for the benefit of their -offspring . why do gays want this? -% -It's a shame the gooks beat you good in Vietnam. (though you probably won -the unofficial underage girl rape contest)You fucking rambo wankers -% -<3 BUSH, ONWARD CHRISTIAN SOLDIERZ, NEW WORLD ORDER, MITE MAKEZ RITE, THE -SWORD CHOPZ OFF THE ARM HOLDING THE PEN, MANIFEZT DESTINY, REPREZENTIN' DA -ZOG CLIQUE, MACHIVELLIAN, DIDN'T NEED 2 SERVE IN VIETNAM TO BOMB DA KORAN, -BANG BANG, IRAQ THE NEW SOVIET BLOC, GUN-BARREL DIPLOMACY, VOTE NADER VOTE -NADER VOTE NADER -% -As long as I can remember, I've been picking at this small scab inside my -right nose near the nostril opening alongside the bone area. Sometimes its -flaky and hardened and thats why I pick at it and it never really goes away. -Other times, its perfectly fine. Your thoughts? -% -Hello. I am rich, and have the biggest computer. In addition to this, I -also masturbate into the most expensive monogrammed towels you'll ever set -your eyes upon. You can not even possibly compare to me. Good day. -% -I saw in a recent magazine that companies are legitimately selling catheters -as gaming accessories. Sitting immobile in a chair, hooked up to a catheter -for the rest of your life.. does this sound like anyone?? Christopher Reeve -tried in vain for years to escape what you people do to yourselves willingly -every day. My God, get some priorities!! -% -speaking of policy, at least my country has enough sense to limit itself to -two moderately similar political parties. you disgust me with your -parliamentary coalitions that don't manage to do anything except to -highlight the evils of socialism -% -OMG RIAA MPAA STARFORCE 3 DA SCENE IS DYING FTP FBI CYBERCRIMES DOJ RIP -ISONEWS MITNICK SCENERS CODING MOUNTAIN DEW LEECH ACCESS DISTRO HONEYPOT -UNIVERSITY SERVER OC192 TOPSITES CLICK HERE FOR FREE WAREZ CRACKIN -PHREACKING HPVAC PHRACK MAGAZINE 2600 MITNICK MITNICK MITNICK FXP COLECO -% -WTF LEAVE CHEESEBURGERS OUT OF THIS WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU!? JUST BECAUSE -YOURE SOME PO-DUNK NIGGA FROM DA GHETTO DOESNT MEAN YOU GOTTA BE BASHIN ON -COOKED COW I MEAN SERIOUSLY ILL BET MONEY THAT YOU EAT ENOUGH FRIED CHICKEN -TO FEED THE ENTIRE CONTINENT OF AFRICA AND YOU PROBABLY GUZZLE ENOUGH MALT -LIQUOR TO FILL 200 BOEING 747S SO SHUT THE FUCK UP YARD APE -% -I fail to see how you're a genius; passing up people who can actually play -instruments for rappers who blubber into a microphone. However, I pick up on -the hints that you're an African American and you would support your fellow -"musicians" in their tirade of encouragement for shootings, drugs, and -whores. Little do you know you're only fueling this society's demise by -encouraging barbaric hip hop culture. Have a great day. -% -Of course, the day will come when the stupids and the normals such as -(chances are) yourself will fuck things up with your free-market, -all-American, freedom-loving life-style to the point where the rest of us -who have more than two brain-cells rubbing together will have no choice but -to exterminate you all. Sure, eat another cheeseburger and add another -pound, pretend to be a sensitive, caring guy when all you really want to do -is sneak into your room and see if you can find any pornography where hot -blondes are forced to eat shit and suck black cocks while hot Asian lesbians -suck menstrual blood out of their wet cunts. Just keep your head pointed -straight at that little monitor of yours, and you won't even see us as we -sneak up and put the gun to your head. We will show you no mercy. We will -find you, we will slit your childrens' throats, and people like you will -hang from the street lights. None shall escape the holocaust of the useless! -% -Would you like another piece of waddymelon to go with that fried chicken and -malt liquor? Beat it shitskin banjolips. This is a place for humans. -% -yea i'm in class and fell upon this site, i'm no techie but am quite -intrigued by the discussions taking place here. altough, i mean you guys -sound like internet geeks, the kind with acne and anime and weight problems. -do ya really need to resort to vulgarity against your own kind? express -your opinions, this country was built on those kind of freedoms, but take a -chill pill.yes, i did just type that. -% -i bet you shop at thinkgeek you faggot, go jack off while wearing your -binary watch before you cry yourself to sleep in your tux blanket -% -YOU KNOW GUYS I THINK INSTEAD OF CAPS-LOCK, WE SHOULD START SAYING CAPS-LOL, -BECAUSE IT CERTAINLY IS AMUSING WATCHING CERTAIN UPTIGHT INTERNET NERDS GET -ALL AGITATED OVER A BUNCH OF UPERCASE LETTERZ. -% -Typing laughter on IRC!While I understand that your knowledge of the world -outside the Frances-strewn shards that, on any other day, would have -comprised your double-wide is rather, shall we say, limited; Here in the big -scary city we "America Haters" like to call civilization, there are rules -that govern behavior and, to put a finer point on it, internet humor. And, -although one could argue that, having missed out on the more elegant points -in life such as color television or refrigeration, that you should be -exempted from said governances - I find it best to point out that ignorance -of the law is no excuse.This fact, combined with your abhorent -neoconservative indoctrination only leads one to conclude that your mental -stature, while irrefutably suited towards a more custodial vocation, does -not serve you well here on the fifth-gear world of the "information -superhighway." Indeed, I would be remiss if I did not instead point you to a -more, shall we say, rewarding hobby such as admiring your reflection in the -murky waters of the local "crick" or, if you fancy, arguing with trees. -% -slitting open the urethra, cauterizing the prostrate, inflicting corporal -punishment, blistering the penis with caustic acid, flaying the penile skin -with razor blades, sewing the prepuce shut with metal wire, encasing the -genitals in plaster or in lockable metal cages, or fitting the penis with -penile rings studded with sharp metallic teeth to discourage erections -% -The doctor performed fabulously with his textbook execution of a four-point -circumcision as he burst into my wife's room in the maternity ward, pinched -a clamp around my son's foreskin, and inserted an instrument between the -foreskin and glans. I covered my ears as the infant's shrieks intensified, -and the doctor was gracious enough to quickly tear the foreskin lengthwise -as my little son's head shook back and forth ohh yeah -% -I can't believe I just took a shit in my bellman uniform at the front desk. -What the fuck? I can't stand up and take it to the employee lounge because I -am literally wading in nuggets of my own ass gravy. Any attempt at movement -would send this rancid post-chili splurting all over my wingtips and into -view of every tranny prostitute within the hotel lobby. It doesn't help -that I've been doing the night audit all night! I can barely stay awake! -What am I going to say to the hotel manager when she comes back from getting -chili dogs and asks what I just did in the presence of the hotel guests? -She'll make me drop trau in front of everyone again. There it is, the 6'5" -shemale on meth just asked me if I could smell 'that'. I gotta go. -% -This is how I calculated the how the PS3 would be about 4-6X more powerful -than the current PS2 according to Moore's law. Assuming that the clock speed -and other performance metrics of the PS2 stay relatively proportional, in 18 -monthes the speed/power doubles to 600MHZ, in another 18 monthes (2005) it -doubles to 1200MHZ. 1200 divided by 300 gives you 4. I added the range of -4-6 b/c I know that SOI yields more efficiency and they certainly are going -to use more and faster memory...hence the range of 2. Either way, the PS3 -ain't gonna be 1000X more powerful. You'd have to be a gullible fool to -believe that. -% -What the fuck does that have to do with anyhting. Do you have a dick in your -ear or something. i dont want your fuckin apology, I want you to just log -off, stop fuckin writing me period and then go to your mothers room, eat her -out, beside the drawers, next to the trash cans, and then tell her I -appreicate her shaving my balls b/c its really hard to do it myself. Until -next time, fuck you and use your teeth to pick the hairs off my ass. ha ha. -% -oh yeah you dick likcing fuck. you are a waste of sperm your mother should -have fuck that truck driver other than that dirty as german (your -father).<---(you're not smat enough to get it, stupid fuck) Maybe you would -be doing something better with you life other than argueing with me about -posting meaningless shit. -% -Guess whoes back talking shit this mutha fuckin faggot is a mutha fuckin -bitch saying he hates rap with a passion then all I got to say is fuck you -you mutha fuckin bitch I fukin say alot of curse words because I fuckin hate -when you start hating on rap if anybody gots a problem with the way I think -then you could find a fuckin short peir and take a mutha fuckin walk I hope -you fuckin die a long and painful death you fuckin bitch later you mutha -fuckin haters word to your mutha fuckin mutha -% -before yall bitchmade mutha fuckin computer nerds come on here talkin shyt -like u hard get da infos straight..da man dat did my site TOLD ME STRAIGHT -OUT he did juice's site so b4 u call me a fuckin biter get all your facts on -da table u ignorant ass mutha fuckaz!!!if I MADE DA SITE u would have every -right to call me a biter...i didnt do shit to dat site..da man contacted -me..showed me juices site and said he did it...and then did mine and didnt -even finish it so fuck all yall hatein ass mutha fuckaz!!if yall wana run -lip do it face to face fuck dis computer shit..HOLLA!! -% -I've been into just about every car scene, truck scene, motorcycle scene and -yes the import scene is the worst. Main reason is because we got a bunch of -little pricks who drive around and think they're badasses cause they gots a -body kit y0 and in all reality I could take on 10 of them at the same time -and make em cry. I'm getting to the point to where I don't even wanna go to -car meets anymore cause of all the stupid bullshit thats goes on and that I -get associated with it cause I drive an "import". I'm about ready to go buy -another 5.0 or camaro and be done with imports all together just so I'm NOT -associated with all these fucking morons driving around now. I drive my -Grand Cherokee all over the place and I always have other Jeep owners wave -at me. -% -take this short quiz to see if u qualify to meet me: ugly? stupid? mean? -ghetto? non english speaking? not from ohio? if u answer yes to any of the -above, don't click to meet me cuz i hate all of the above :) -% -It's not so much that I hate anime, well I do its utter shit, but that's not -too bad because the world would be boring if we all liked the same thing. -Anyway what really gets to me is anime fans or 'otakus' as they have dubbed -themselves. They think that liking anime makes them superior to those who -don't, they think that if someone does not like anime it means they are too -stupid to understand it and they worship Japan. There ongoing obsession with -Japan makes me want to kill myself, they all want to learn japanese and move -to Japan to be an anime artist. They insist on speaking in broken Japanese -all the time, trying to show off to there fellow anime losers just how much -they know and they get offended if you say a slight word against Japan. They -also have an obsessin with gay people and yell and scream whenever they see -one, they say that gay people should be treated the same as straight people -yet i don't see then shout and scream when they see a straight couple do -you? No, they only reason they love gay people is becasue they are desperate -to show the world how openmided they are and they just wait for someone to -something like 'thats so gay' so that they have have a 3 hour discussion -about it.I myself don't have anything against gays but to be honest i don't -really think about it. I could go on for hours but I can't be botherd just -know one thing Anime couldn't be crapper if it tried. -% -I don't know about you guys, but knowing that gay marriage exists here now -has hurt marriage. Whenever I try and fuck my wife, all I can think about is -two sweaty, heaving male bodies joined together in government sanctioned -disgusting decadent man sex with large calloused hands grasping and moist -gasping lips joined with giant throbbing cocks ohh yeah -% -NO I SAY PEOPLE LIKE YOU HAVE SMALL DICKS COS YOU DO BUTT MUNCH YOU DONT -EVEN HAVE A NAME YOU SAD FUCK PISS OFF NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE ON THE PLACE OR -IN THE WORLD YOU FUCKING JEW NERD HITLER SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU FUCKING ASS -YEARS AGO AND THE REASON YOUR PISSED OFF IS COS THE TRUTH HURTS YOU WHY DONT -YOU GO BACK TO WEARING A PINK DRESS AND BEING FUCKED BY YOUR UNCLE YOU -LIITLE DRAG QUEEN GO TAKE YOUR FAGGOT SELF AND JUMP OFF A CLIFF SMARTGIRL IS -BETTER THEN YOU WILL EVER BE YOU ARE NOTHING AND FOREVER BE NOTHING LATER -GEEK -% -I, for one, feel that Fox TV has gone too far with their programming -excesses. Have you seen their new show, the X-Files? It's simply ludicrous! -I mean, demonic possession? Aliens? Come on, that's ridiculous! But the -worst thing is that it implies our government lies to us! Hey, Sergeant -Muldower: This is America. Love it, or leave it! -% -HAHAHAHAHA FOOL YOU COUNTRY WAS FOR CONVICTS TO THEY ONLY THING THAT WAS -DIFFERENT IS ALL YOU FUCKS HAD IT SO BAD YOU GOT CRANKY AND HAD A WAR OF -INDEPENCE COS THE BRITISH WERE ABUSING YOUR ASSES HEY AND YOUR COUNTRYS A -REST ROOM FOR MEXICANS LEAST I DO SOMETHING ABOUT OUR PROBLEM WHAT DO YOU DO -ABOUT MEXICANS THATS RIGHT NOTHING COS YOUR A CHICKEN SHIT WHAT DO YOU CARE -IF YOUR WOMEN LOOK GOOD YOUR GAY AND THATS WHY WE ARE NOT ALL FAT CO -% -for all of you non believers. please just answer 1 question 4 me. If God -didnt exist then how did the earth get here.You will probably come up with -some answer like , a bunch ef gas and dust and a star formed the earth. but -if all that is true then hoe did that gas and dust get here. i am a -Christain and i encurage you all to be 1 aswell. You will be much happie, -take it from a kid that knows -% -ASIANS FUCKING SUCK THERE EVERY WHERE DOWN IN SYDNEY FUCKING OVEL EYED -GOOKS. WENT DOWN TO CHINA TOWN 2 WEEKS AGO BASHED A COUPLE OF THE -DICKHEADS.THE PROBLEM IS THEY BREED LIKE RABBITS THEY JUST GO ROUND FUCKING, -SPITTING OUT BABYS AND SPREADING THEIR CHICKEN FLU AROUND DAMN FILTHY -ASIANS. 88 HAIL HITLER SKINHEADS FOREVER -% -TO THAT PISS ANT COWARD FUCK COS I'M NOT A PATRIOTIC AMERICAN YOU NIGGER -LOVER I'M A PATRIOT TO WHITE SUPREMACY YOU SMELLY TURD. YEAH AND I'D LIKE TO -SEE YOU TRY AND KILL ME YOU CANDY ASS FUCK WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO BEAT ME TO -DEATH WITH YOUR HANDBAG. I'M A SKINHEAD YOU FOOL I'VE HAD MORE FIGHTS THEN -YOU'VE HAD HOT DINNERS. STUPID FAG SO SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I'LL PUT YOU TO -WORK ON MY COTTON FARM -% -FUCK YOU FATSO YEAH YOU CAN TALK SHIT BEHIND YOU COMPUTER YOU FAT NERD. IF I -EVER SEE YOU IN THE STREET I'M GONNA STAB YOU IN THE FACE WITH MY HITLER -YOUTH KNIFE YOU STUPID CHEESEBURGER CHEEKS THEN YOU'LL FALL TO THR GROUND -AND CRY LIKE A LITTLE BITCH STUPID LITTLE RICH VAG YOU DUMBASS SKINHEADS -COME FROM MANY DIFFERNT BACKGROUNDS RICH, POOR, MIDDLE CLASS ALTHO I -WOULDN'T ACCEPT A PANSY ASS SKIRT LIKE YOU INTO MY GANG -% -fuck asians I am from flushing queens newyork and I'm pissed the fuck off -because ugly inferior orientals are taking over my home town of flushing -putting up prices on houses and speaking there ugly chinese languages. -orientals ARE not smart that's a fucking myth. orientals will NEVER be -white. p.s. DROP DEAD INFERIOR ORIENTALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -% -as far as i can tell, mexico sucks. i've never been there, but i have -mexican neighbors. they suck. 15 of them live in one house. only one of -them has a job. the rest collect welfare. one of them was even arrested -for molesting a 12 year old girl. funny thing is, i took a dump on their -porch. i'm pretty sure i saw one of them watching me. i wiped my ass with -their news paper and jammed it in the mailbox. they suck anyways. which is -why mexico sucks. -% -congratulations on getting modded up you simpering idiot! maybe with all -that infamy you can convince a geek surgeon to remove some ribs so you can -suck on your own nub penis you fucking faggot!!! -% -I pray to the wonderful Lord Jesus Our Saviour and thank Lord God in the -Highest Heaven for all the beauty and love in the world every time I fuck a -nun with a glass-covered bone-carved dildo. Tear that dry and wrinkled -punani! -% -Objectivism is nothing but selfishness with a philosophical bumper sticker -stuck on its ass that somehow purports to elevate it to respectability. -Objectivism will succeed as soon as human nature is purged of empathy, -sympathy, love for one's family, love for one's community, love for humanity -itself. In other words, never.The only people who take this shit seriously -are earnest but naive college students with too much philosophy classes -under their belt and no real life experience, 40-something assholes behind -on their alimony payments, and nutjobs who horde guns in the woods and -consider themselves to be part of the minutement militia, 2 centuries -hence.Objectivism has as much a tenuous hold on reality as the KKK and -neonazi skinheads. They deserve our attention as much as the mating habits -of dung beetles. Oh yeah, I forgot, Ayn Rand is selfish racist classist -elitist bitch. Am I making an impression on you here, you fruitcakes?Stay in -the woods and spout your ignorant mumbo-jumbo, the real world doesn't need -you. we'll take your selfish asocial bullshit seriously when hell freezes -over. -% -I work at a University IT helpdesk, and after far too many malware problems -from far too many dumb lusers (and many of them repeat visits), I've adopted -a new policy.If a student or member of faculty comes in with malware -problems for the first time, I fix it for them and I give them a Gentoo -Linux install CD to go away with. If they come back with viruses/spyware a -second time, I tell the luser to stop bothering me, and that I gave them the -solution to install last time. Linux is an OS immune to these kinds of -problems. -% -Anyone think jews are really hot? Especially rabbis! Those greasy curls send -me wild.Sadly there's no jews in my region of the desert, so camels have to -do. -% -mexicans are lazy?? umm no we are theopposite of lazy. we are taking -overthis country and you white americans andblack americans people are not -doinganything about it.all yall do is say"fuking wetbacks go back to -homecountry" or "you taking our jobs,, nowwe are unemployed" you know what -boo hooyou call us stupid or whatever, butatleast we know how to get a -job.if youask me you americans are the lazy people. -% -Women are too fragile. The mere suggestion of being able to play a female -character in Doom 3 is laughable. Well, I guess you could play as a maid or -cook. At least that would be just about as boring as the current -storyline.It has been proven in many scientific studies that women are -inferior to men. This is why women are deservingly payed less for doing the -same work as a man. The only valuable skills a woman can ever hope to learn -are cooking and cleaning. Men are too busy with important business dealings -to worry about cooking and cleaning for themselves.History is littered with -evidence of this. For instance, Joan of Arc led an army on the battlefield, -only to be subsequently raped, tortured, and killed. In the Bible (the word -of God), Eve was tricked into eating the forbidden fruit because she was -weak-minded. Many men said that a woman could never fly around the world -alone. Amelia Earhart proved they were right.At least the countries in the -Middle East have their priorities straight. Their women are not allowed to -go to school, hold jobs, and in some cases they are not even allowed outside -without a male escort. That's how it should be here. Women should be treated -as property of men. In the future, I think there will no longer be printed -or coined currency. Instead, we will walk the streets with a couple women -around our arms and trade them for various goods and services.In conclusion, -go the kitchen and make me a sandwich. -% -fuck all this elexctronic shit. Give me a typewriter, a pushbutton -telephone, and a bank of teletype machines with yellow paper. Then you could -make sense of this crap -% -Now, if i were ever to meet one of you people who flames me in real life, -let's just say thine attitude might change a little. Ive studied tae kwon do -for 4 years, and studied kung fu as a young child. I am going to take up -judo soon, and also casually jeet kune do. I lift weights every day, and -have been in a fight before, and won. That's the thing, that behind the -internet you can say whatever you like to me, but you know what? Im secure -in the fact that i am popular in my circle of friends in real life, and dont -need to be accepted in some faggot forum to boost my self esteem, i am also -confident that i could kick most of thine asses in real life, so what do i -care? -% -Ok Im New To This I Posted One Picture Of Me On My Website And Now Im Trying -To Post Another But All I Do Stay In The Log AndIt Says Uploading Picute May -Take A Few Seconds Then I Check My Site And Nothing No Posts Or Anything -Someone Please Help -% -Yes I do like the Muslim Girls also. They get me very JIHARD. -% -One time at camp, well let me just get to the point, It was 3am and I heard -the cabin door open and all the other boys leave. Then all of a sudden i was -being anally rampaged by Mr.Sunny, the counselor. He kept pillaging my raw -anus until it bled. Needless to say, I still have a fear of campfires. -% -You know what's keeping the black man black, in addition to that attitude, -and that erstwhile PBS miniseries? It's affirmative action, fatty foods, -cheap alcohol, tasteless jewelry, and Kwanzaa. And of course, the worst -culprit. Niggers. -% -OK WELL ONE TIME I WAS DRIVING A STOLEN POLICE CAR AND I HAD A SYRINGE -HANGING OUT OF MY NECK VEIN AND I HAD A FUCKING HOOKAH IN MY LAP AND 3 -DISMEMBERED CORPSES IN THE PASSENGER SEAT AND I WAS BASSING AND I TOTALLY -RAMPED MY CAR AND BLEW UP THE SPACE SHUTTLE CHALLENGER -% -by the way i can' tsee a word your saying so if you're laughing at your own -comments in vain mr. wantin to complain about an ego mother fucker, then -you're really truly laughing at your very own comments in vain of YOU -% -Muslim babes turn me on. Those one's who dress entierly in a black bedsheet -head to toe. I want to squirt right into the eye-slot. -% -Fact: The word "mizer", traditionally meaning a one who is excessively -frugal, was originally short for "sodomizer". This is because in the 18th -century it was routine, and even expected, that the Comptroller of a -business would punish wastefulness by engaging in mandatory buggery. -% -I like terrorists who use bombs, especially nailbombs. And let me tell you -why. I was once a victim of a nailbomb attack and a searing white-hot nail -happened to go right up my japseye, welding itself to flesh. It was so good. -% -The Jerk-Off Walk : Drop that trau right to your feet. Thrust your hips -and beat your meat. Squelch and splurt go your oily cock. Leave the house -for a jerk-off walk. Strolling the streets while you're slapping your dong. - It feels so good it can't be wrong. Here comes your neighbor, eyes askew. -You saunter on up and ask, What's new? A hand on your shaft and a hand -outstretched, your neighbor made a gagging sound and promptly retched. Since -when is a stroke against the law? You say as you start to fiddle with her -bra. And there you start, right on the sidewalk. The morning rape's begun, -other pedestrians gawk. She screams and hollers so you punch her face. Who -cares if she dies? She's of the nigger race! Your cock already stiff begins -to invade, and you twist nips proper like Marquis de Sade! Pullin out quick, -and you spurt in her eye. Standing and you kick, right between the thighs. -The bitch is all mangled and your cum is all spent. Your pants, at the -apartment, your soft cock: bent. Now the task is done and it's time to head -back. Your tired wang hangs like a rope so slack. The nigger curled up in -a ball so tight, you smile as you think: This shit's done right. I hope you -enjoyed my anthem true. Now best of luck and fortune, love, Mega Man II -% -"LOCUSTS INVADE HOLY LAND..." was a deceiving web link. When I first saw -it, I thought to myself: "Whoa - Locusts in Vatican City? I've got to check -this out!" Unfortunately the "Holy Land" described in the link described - -get this - Israel. Is there nothing those cursed jews won't do to get -attention? -% -Guys, the funniest thing about linux is that the average linux user spends -from 50-75% of his (and I use the pronoun literally, because let's face it; -women just have more common sense) computing time configuring and -troubleshooting his operating system just to get it to run. Come on you -dolts. I know you're short a chromosome but does it take a vagina to figure -out that this is just stupid ? Do yourself a favor, put on a clean shirt, -get a copy of windows xp, and spend that time at the gym instead of -compiling your kernel endlessly. You'd be surprised how many women don't -notice your complete lack of social skills! -% -The Chub Chant: Rub a Dub Chubs Three Plumpers in Tubs - Watch them Squirm -as they Wash Their Nubs - Delight in the Sight of their Big Juicy Butts - -And the Sudzy Soap loving Slippery Fat Sluts - Cum Take a Dip in Our Super -Sized Tub - And Sing with us Rubba Dub Chub. -% -My favorite episode of Family Matters was when Steve locked Laura up as a -joke. He stood near the vault excited at what he had done. He pressed his -cheek against the metal, feeling the coolness and the tiny thumps on the -door as Laura pounded for her life. Laura's screams were deep and guttural. -Steve felt their vibration against his groin as he pressed against the door. -Aroused by the power of life and death, he exposed himself and masturbated -as he listened to Laura's screams. His eyes glazed in ecstasy as he chewed -on his lower lip and jerked vigorously to his ultimate climax. -% -Hey guys, did you ever consider what would happen if Star Trek perchance -waged war with Star Wars? Who do you think might win such a conflict and why? -% -why dont you install a real OS and make some room in your head using the -space you have to devote to remembering the 100000 ways to parse a text file -in linux (with zero ways to get any actual work done) -% -this ignore list is for losers, boozers, those boring and self-whoring and -folks unwilling to represent memories of Tupac and keep the dream of the -Black Planet alive. -% -I have looked at much gay porno and gotten no erections or arousal. I find -it amusing. Gay culture on a whole I find grand, gays are often snobbish and -excellent physical specimens which I find very admirable. -% -Apparently everyone is up in arms about this new racist Six Flags Atlanta -ride, they say it negatively portrays african americans. I guess the name is -a little bit insensitive. They call it the 'Nigger Experience' and the ride -is: when you get in the parking lot at the end of the day, you realize that -niggers have broken into your car and stolen your stereo. I don't know what -to think. -% -Coon Tune : There exists a people called the Shitskins. They're only fit for -stuffing cotton into bins. You might say "Hey thats crass!" , but you can -shove it in your nigger lovin' ass. I do believe that God set it up this -way, slaves for working,and a partner with which to be gay. Thats right, you -heard it here first, I love my gay nigger slaves, signed Fred Durst -% -KING GOLDI SIGNS WITH DICKSUCKERS INC and NOW LOOKING TO SIGN ALSO WITH -FAGGOTS SOUTH!!!!!! PLAYA FLY IS LOOKING TO SIGN WITH SEMENLOVERS!...MEMPHIS -NYGGAZ BOUT TO COME OUTA THE CLOSET..THIS IS WHAT THE INDUSTRY NEED FROM THE -SOUTH...REAL FAGGOTS! -% -Gotta Crap Rap: Poo knockin on the door, My rectum can't hold it no more. I -firmly clench to keep it inside, but there's no defense for this poopy tide. - My tighty whities stained with ass sweat, my quivering asshole hasn't given -in yet. Holy shit I just felt a spurt, this is a disaster I could not avert. -% -FUCK U!!!!! I WILL FIND U AND KILL U A HUNDRED TIMES SEVEN!!!!! U CAN COUNT -THE DAYS ON UR HANDS THAT U HAVE TO LIVE BEFORE I SLAY YOU IN THE STREETS -AND BUTCHER U LIKE A CATTLE!!!!!! NO ONE DARES TO DO DISGRACE ME AS U -HAVE!!!! WATCH UR BACK, FOR I COME WITH MURDER ON MY BREATH!!!!!! -% -Put on your party hats, its four more years of no legal pot, no stem cells, -abandoning abortion, tons o' guns, throat choking pollution, Big Brother -monitoring your every internet move, and best of all -- thousands more of -your copatriots will die needlessly on foreign soil! -% -I can't believe John Kerry just took a shit in his power suit at the podium. -What the fuck? He can't walk off and take it to the portalet, because he's -standing in feces-filled underwear at this very moment. Any change in his -standing position will send his poo spilling down his legs and into view of -every voter within 30 feet of him. There is no way he can play this off as a -fart. It doesn't help at all that he's been on the trail for 3 months. He -can hardly stand up straight! How is he possibly going to explain this to -his wife Theresa Heinz-Kerry when she comes back from getting ketchup to ask -him what the fuck he just did in the presence of his supporters? She'll make -him drop trau in front of everyone again. There it is. The undecided voter -standing below the podium to the right of him just asked if anyone could -smell 'that'. He's gotta go. -% -I've gone and done it again. After shitting on the toilet seat I took a dab -of crap and worked it into my hair. Now my bald spot is a uniform brown -along with the rest of my hair. I mussed up my hair enough for it to look -plausible. I'm back in the conference room now and no one is willing to -meet my gaze. I have to clench my stomach to keep from vomiting. My penis -throbs with an intense erection. -% -Sitting at the beach takin' a nap , didnt notice my bowels, now I've taken a -crap. Sitting in the diarrhea, think I should be sayin' "Mama Mia!" Can't -take it to the ocean, too fast a motion, poo would spill out in a commotion. -Too stinky to be a fart, I cant stop my pounding heart. Drugs have spun me -out for days, I'm in such a haze, can't explain it to my wife , my life is a -maze. Pooped in front of my kids, its worse than watching shitty itty bitty -titty vidz. On her command my trau I'll be droppin' , my poo will be a -floppin'. Beachgoers asking if I could smell "that" , Its just my poop, -smooshed in between my ass fat. Word. -% -Adolf Hitler, the Fuhrer himself, burst into my room one eve and whisked me -away on a dream vacation to the Bahamas! We toured the isles together -arm-in-arm, and made love on the sandy beaches and in the clear, blue ocean. -I fell in love with Hitler that weekend. Unfortunately when it was over, he -disappeared, but I know that one day, mein Liebe will return and take me -away to his castle in the clouds. -% -Dick Cheney has an odd habit. This bastard loves to masturbate using -Nickolodeon Gak. You know, that slimey stuff. Years ago, when he was a -congressman from Wyoming, he used to come into my toy store and buy my whole -stock of Gak once a month. I never asked because hey, hes a congressman. But -one day I was walking around Casper and I saw Mr. Cheney in his car. He was -totally naked , and was masturbating. His cock was covered entirely in this -Gak! He had 2 empties in the passenger seat, and was really working his -cock. I was sickened, and was about to leave when the future Vice President -lowered the window and asked me to join him. I couldnt believe he said that. -I jumped in the car and slurped his Gak-infused cock up ohh yeah -% -guys i am shitting in my pants at this very moment i can feel the turds -smashing against my white cotton briefs ohh yeah -% -Asimov, I want you to fuck me in the ass please. I am dying to be anally -accosted. I want to be ravaged like hog. I want you to dress like a farmer -and make me oink like a pig. I want an ass reaming like no other. Asimov, I -haven't had this kind of lust for you since the crazy college days. We used -to butt fuck each other in the stalls. You always told me not to flush and -preferred using my feces as opposed to real lubricant. ember your chocolatey -member, your manhood, draped in my feces. Man, Asimov, I remember. I was day -dreaming, escaping into a nether world where we used to fornicate and live -in fornicatory bliss. You used to like to keep your tube socks on to enhance -the gay look. We were so flitty and light on our feet. I am so very confused -these days. I have difficulty conceptualizing the time that was then in -contrast to now. I mea were a raging homosexual, now you wont look me in the -eye because of this anime woman. I know that bitch is a transvestite, and -you lust after my ass while you are being tentacle raped. You are closeting -your homosexuality and denying your roots in my ass! Don't be fooled! Asimov -knows how to suck a dick. He may nibble, and bite, and pretend to be -sheepish at first, but deep down this cock loving acolyte of shaft licks bar -maid. I am destabilizing. The world is going dark to me. I have -scintillating threads of motley thoughts; my ability to control my self -evanesces away! I have only an adamantine desire to see your balloon knot -once again, and to have you ravage mine! Asimov - I NEED YOUR HOT MAN SEX -NOW. This is your long lost butt buddy Joe, please come back. -% -Instead of crapflooding the Slashdot I managed to literally crapflood the -toilet at my workplace. I sprayed diarrhea all over the bowl, filled it with -foul smelling semi-liquid and left it unflushed! -% -Gilles de Rais had us all fooled, with his two sided life. On one end, he -was a fabulously wealthy nobleman. On the other side he broke into my -farmhouse , grabbed my son around the waist, and carried him off! He took -him to his chateau for a glorious night of rape, followed by death by -suffocation on Mr. de Rais' dong. He was nice enough to have an artist -record the event, and to ejaculate in my mouth as my son died ohh yeah -% -Willem Dafoe gave a fabulous performance with his real-life portrayal of a -monstrous child molester as he smashed through my son's window, grabbed him -around the neck, and raped him viciously. He was gracious enough to use -lubrication, and to jerk my sons little cock back and forth ohh yeah. -% -Hitler, Hitler, our glorious fuhrer. With all his jew gassing, he'll make -the race purer! -% -Chaps Rap : Wearing Assless Chaps, its really easy to take craps. Showing -off your erect cock, such a shock, every hour is jerk-off-o'clock. Your buns -in my face, I have to taste, otherwise what a waste. Jerked you off so you -could tuck away, its not Gay, Balls didnt touch anyway. -% -BongToke BongToke Two Four Six, Mari Juana Stiff long Dicks My chin is -bruised from Pounding Scrote Chuggin cum made tummy Bloat Smokin Weed 4 -Peace an Warez As long as theres Buttsex I've no Cares -% -Cock Jam : Jerk That Shit Holmes, Jerk it Up. Jerk it like the world is -endin', Jerk it till your mind is bendin'. Crunchy and Mushy, catbox. -Jerkin' fat cocks. Pearl of the Orient, gotta represent. Pants in a tent, -I've jerked it ; now I'm spent. -% -Fact: The product Miracle Whip is named after a mythical whip used to beat -slaves in the south that would turn them into highly efficient and -intelligent workers. -% -to late dip shit, I hope your not as stupid as you seem, giving me your name -and email to give to my buddies down at the hate crime lab. -% -Isn't it great to spend night after night online in the company of your best -friends? Nothing like shooting the shit with your pals after a long day of -watching Star Trek VHS tapes. After the long walk upstairs, it feels so -good to sit down in the Archthrone of your Painkeep, rip open a new Pringles -can and start sipping a freshly concocted Mountain Dew-Quik shake you call -the "Polyjuice Potion" in honor of Harry Potter. (uNF Ginny!!) You call it -that because after you drink it, you transform into something completely -different. Your deep cyst acne clears up, you forget about your obesity, -and you can chat about anime with people who genuinely care about you. After -a few hours, the chat slows down and you wander over to some Russian child -porn sites you subscribe to. Here's hoping the feds don't track your -Citibank card! Hehe. A good long session of stroking your four inch penis -finally results in a few drops of clear semen on your flabby fist, which you -wipe all over your lips and chin, inhaling deeply. Finally feeling a bit -drowsy, you click off your monitor and crack open your Gentoo laptop so you -can finish explaining why Babylon 5 shouldn't have been cancelled while in -bed. You fall heavily onto your greasy mattress which has a stained pillow -and a discolored blanket half draped on it. You sleepily type in a few -lines of chat while popping some throbbing zits on your cheek, making more -pin point stains on your pillow. Just as you see some orange glow around the -edge of your sheet draped window you decide to catch some sleep. You hate -this time of night (day?) Now your loneliness hits you like a wall. Almost -every real friend you've ever made has forgotten about you or is disgusted -by you. Why do you act like that? Why do you LOOK like that? You -represent everything they don't want to be. Why couldn't you just stay on a -diet? Why carve up every last pimple until yet another bloody crater has -been dug out of your cheek? Go to sleep...go to sleep, you plead to -yourself. Tomorrow is Season 4 of Voyager... Seven of Nine. You like to -imagine that you're on that spaceship, part of something, part of a group. -But you never will be. Tears mingle with pus stains on your pillow as you -squeeze your eyes shut trying to push the terrible reality of your singular -aloneness. If only you had done better in school, if only you could find a -job... and you remember Mom wants you to mow the lawn tomorrow morning. -Goddamn it, you're turning 30 this November and you're still doing this -shit. Your life is a prison and there's no chance for parole. Seven of -Nine... -% -I right clicked the clone brush over the head of the penis but when I click -on the anus it puts a ballsack in there, wtf!! -% -I've gone and done it again. It always happens when I need to keep my cool. -During the seventh-inning stretch at the baseball game, I went into the -urinal area and pissed right into my mouth. God, it tastes so bad. I think I -got the front of my shirt all wet. I just hope we can come back from 3 runs -behind. Allright, I need to get back into the stands, now that I'm refreshed. -% -we can argue this all fucking day, and in the end it didn;t matter any more -than it did when you guys started -% -I cant go a day without punching myself. It is the only thing I get pleasure -from, so I end up with bruises and I cry myself to sleep because the only -thing I enjoy is painful. I tried to kill myself once, but then I stopped -because my mom threw a beer bottle at me. -% -I have been worst than offended by faggots who've sought homosexuality from -me. I have never beaten a homo, but there was a time when a faggot, a -brotha! and this subhuman cat approached me in a GreyHound bus terminal -asking me could he give me some head!!! I would have murdered this beast but -I wasn't tryna go to prison outta state where I couldn't get no bail. -% -randomd's songs: Niggers Niggers, our dark skinned friends. If they're not -out working, they'll rape your girlfriend! For jail's their domain, they're -society's bane-- Let's hear it for our friend the Nigger! Linux, linux, it's -free as in beer. But if you installed it, you're a goddamn queer! To clear -up your pimples, the solutions quite simple-- Just take a bath and use a -face wash! Jews, jews, their noses are long. They've got to clean the extra -skin on their dong! They'll steal all your money, the kabelah's funny-- -Let's go for the final solution! -% -I have something resembling lava temperature pumpkin pie filling spilling -from my cock and my right nut has swollen to at least 3 times the size of -the other. I have a large, angry lump in my armpit that I swear makes noise, -my cat shit in my bed, my sister is fucking all my friends, and someone -keeps leaving little Cornish game hens stuffed with used condoms on my -doorstep. -% -I'm a 4'2", balding, port-a-let cleaner with dirty fingernails that lives -with his step-mother. My dad died in an controversial felching accident when -I was 5. Now they call me turd-gerbil. Instead of an asshole, I now have a -nice cluster of hemorrhoidal "grapes" gently tucked between my butt cheeks -and for some reason, they smell like clams. My last bowel movement was 9 -days ago. They hurt so bad that every time I try to shit, I cry. Speaking of -shit, a hooker shit diarrhea in my eyes four months ago... I still can't see. -% -ONEZ ZEROZ BINARY DIGITZ HACKIN CRACKIN STAYIN UP ALL NIGHT BUFFER OVERPHLOW -U GOT OWNED L33T5P34K IPARTYZ CONFIN PHREAKIN ----++++THEMENTOR++++---- BBS -LANPARTY WIN NUKE OOB EXPLOITZ MATIX HEAP OVERFLOW HEX-O-DECIMALZ NO CARRIER -FLIP THE BITS NULL ROUTE COMPILIN TWENTY FO HUNNERD BEE PEE ESS HAYEZ MODEM -PEEK N POKE SHELLCODE COFFEE N BAWLS COCKTAILZ OCTAL SYN ACK PACKETZ LEAVE -B4 U R EXPUNGED -% -When I was a little jew, my Ima told me that if you swallow matza it stays -in your colon for forty years. After I was interred I told a Nazi and he -laughed until he gassed me unconscious and then bulldozed my corpse -viciously into a shallow hole! -% -YOU CAll me fagit? IN COLORS? HAVE YOU no SHAME? I will break your glasses, -you nerd. I fucked Dor GITTELAMN, watch your ass, MODER FUCKER. -% -Hey, I totally agree that she was stupid, but could you please not use the -word "retarded" in this context? I know I sound like the PC police, but -that's not my intention - it's just a word that really offends me. -% -Never, never, never, never forget what subhuman Muslim Islamic pigshit -terrorist filth did to the US on 9-11-01. To put the destruction into proper -scale, this GroundZero photo essay helps. I've been advocating "camps for -enemy combatants" since last September 12th, and I still think it's way past -time to round-up Middle east suspects and intern them in the desert. The -Muslims and Arabs, who are proven terrorists, should be tried by military -tribunals and executed quickly. Radical Islam is an insane murder cult, and -"moderate" Islam is its Trojan Horse in America. Islam is a gutter religion, -full of deviant faggot girly-men, and women haters, and intolerant zealot -scumbags, who aren't fit to join the modern world. Kill all Islamic, Muslim -and Arab terrorist filth in the madrassas and in the US cities where they -hide. -% -When at last our orgasms had subsided, she suddenly leaned forward across me -and hugged me tight, whispering in my ear, "I don't believe it! I can't -believe I just took a shit in your mouth and watched you swallow it. That -has got to be the wildest, hottest thing I've ever done or seen. And I've -got to say that I loved doing it and watching it. I must have gone crazy at -some point, but I did love it." She hugged me tighter, and I squeezed her -back as I felt the pieces of shit she had dropped on my chest earlier -mashing between our trembling, hot and sweaty bodies. She felt it then, too, -and realized that it was smearing both of us as she crushed the turds -against me. At that moment, though, she didn't care. -% -No idea why people still code in C++ and Java. Get with the times! -Macromedia Flash is gaining ground very quickly, and will soon overtake the -aging "popular" programming languages. Those who have already tuned in to -the wave of the future are using flash to program everything from command -line utils to MMORPGs. You crusty unix programmers need to stop clinging to -your old ways and modernize! -% -low level format your hdd at once before you lose data -% -Niggers are not just African-Americans. Some niggers are Caribbean-American -niggers. And there's plenty of niggers outside of the USA too, like in -Africa. Trust me, I'm an expert. I am seething with hatred for those cursed -apes. -% -"The Swastika" is the oldest cross and emblem in the world. It forms a -combination of four "L's" standing for Luck, Light, Love and Life. It has -been found in ancient Rome, excavations in Grecian cities, on Buddhist -idols, on Chinese coins dated 315 B.C., and our own Southwest Indians use it -as an amulet. -% -I GOT SOMETHING FOR ALL U DAMN MOMS. IT SOMEWHAT RESEMBLES THE PECAN LOGS -YOU GET AT CHRISTMAS. THATS RIGHT ITS A BIG BLACK PECKER! -% -Any stupid fucking jobless fish eating rice farming waps think tou can fuck -with a real person come get it you stinking fucking retarded ass mother -fuckers. If you want to go back to where you came from i'll open up the ass -cheeks of the world and buy you a fucking fishing trip back to your -birthplace of infection. -% -I've done it again. It always happens when I need to keep my cool. During -the coffee break half way through my big sales pitch I went into the -bathroom and carved "nigger" into my chest again. God, it stings so badly. I -think the blood is seeping through the paper towels. I just hope my suit -jacket covers me enough. All right, I need to get back into the real estate -mindset again. -% -I felt a glorious climax approaching. "Jesus we need more balloons," I -grunted as I shot my load all over the assembled crowd. "More mother-fucking -balloons!" As my acidic semen splashed onto them, I watched as everyone -screamed and writhed on the floor in agony, their skin melting away. Oh, -they would pay for taking my balloons. They would pay dearly. I wiped a tear -from my eye and whispered "more balloons" as I started to fondle my balls -again. This will be a long night. -% -Niggerbabble is the unintelligible babbling that comes out of a nigger's -mouth. Niggers often issue forth these babblings while grabbing their -crotches, in a desperate attempt to keep their sexual organs from falling -off due to the effects of the many niggerborne communicable diseases they're -infested with. -% -I just saw a preview for "Renovate MY HOUSE!", and some uppity female negro -saw her new house for the first time and was shouting "THANK YOU JESUS!!!". -The only way I would say "THANK YOU JESUS" is if he got rid of all the -people of a certain race if you catch my drift. :D -% -girl did you install back orifice 2000 on me because you just caused my cd -tray to eject -% -Listen, dont make me stick my finger in your dirtbox. I'll fill your gaping -manhole with slimy man seed and pump some hot cock snot into your fart box. -% -When I was little a friend told me that if you swallow chewing gum it stays -in your stomach for 7 years. After I was married I told my husband and he -laughed until he choked me unconscious and then raped me viciously in every -hole! -% -Hey, faggot! Those assless leather chaps are pissing me off. How can you -possibly walk around in public without anything covering your erect cock, -and clean shaven balls. I cant believe anyone does this for real! You should -find some sort of underwear before I come over and put my hands on your -genitalia, to provide some modesty! I will happily stroke your penis so it -can be tucked away inside the chaps if you insist, but I'd rather you just -put on some boxers. Yes, I know I have pink pants on, and a rainbow shirt. -Im still waiting. Get those chaps covered up, and get your hot, tight buns -out of my face before I go crazy. -% -shut the fuck up you obviously have no idea w-t-f you are talking about why -dont you give up and go back to playing yu-gi-on on your little borther's -GAYCUBE because you are obviuoulsy too stupid to comprehend a real game like -final fantasy 8 (argubly the best game of the series) -% -Guys, does anyone ever have that thing happen, where you've just defecated, -and are wiping yourself, and the toilet paper seems to kind of... snag, and -then you realize it's sucking into your rectum and the next thing you know -the cardboard tube from the toilet paper is just spinning on the holder and -you've inadvertantly sucked an entire roll of quilted two-ply into your anus? -% -Human perception is subjective. The human mind is a higly subjective thing, -subject to an endless parade of subjective factors, a democratic "neuron -voting" process, nutritional and hormonal factors, and so forth. Therefore, -any philosophy created by humans is necessarily subjective, and so I find -your so called "objectivism" laughable to a degree, which, while subjective, -is still quite high. Enjoy the rape fantasies kids -% -Do not try to sexually assault the 13 year old girl. That's impossible. -Instead only try to realize the truth. There is no 13 year old girl. Then -you'll see that it is not the 13 year old girl you are sexually assaulting, -it is only yourself. -% -girl you must be a drow elf sorceress because you have cast level 3 ensnare -on my heart -% -You know, I know that this sheep shit doesn't exist. I know when I put it in -my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. -After nine years, do you know what I've realized? Ignorance is bliss. But -the funny part is, I'm not even in the matrix! It was reality!! I REALLY ATE -SHEEP SHIT!! -% -Anime? Could you be any more of a fucking useless nerd? Seriously. I know -people like that who go to my high school, they wish their whole goddamned -lives were anime. Probably because their parents got divorced and TOTALLY -DON'T CARE when they come home and announce that they're gay or something. -% -201 Come back in like 10 years or something, maybe science will have -developed a pill that'll make you happy and pretend that you have giant blue -eyes and purple hair. Until then just keep cutting yourself and writing -shitty poetry. -% -Does anyone remember that commercial on TV where the kids would drink Yoohoo -or some other beverage out of one of those juice boxes with the red and -white striped straw? They would get sucked into the box and have on giant -party. I always thought that if I sucked hard enough I would get to go there -and party. -% -gays don't belong here you fucking faggot with rippling muscles and clean -shaven smooth skin. you need to just take your lisping moustached mouth out -of here before the urge gets to be too much and you start fucking people in -the ass because you're a gay fag who fucks guys in the ass and sucks dick. -now put on your thong and leather pants and get out. -% -Miatas can't handle as well as other cars or SUVs because they don't have -all the weight to let the tires grip right. -% -I'm sort of new to this linux thing, but there's this directory on my new -install of Debian 3.1 called "/usr/bin". It was all messed up when I first -went in there. None of the files had descriptive names, and it took me like -an hour to figure out they were executables, since none of them had .exe on -the end of them. Furthermore, whenever I double click them, they just pop up -a command prompt for a few seconds then go away. I was gonna delete them, -but I got kinda afraid that they might be my kernel, so I fiugred I'd ask. -It's ok to delete this stuff, right? -% -You would make a perfect Liberal � homosexual, self-absorbed, hates America, -anxious to impose your values on everybody else. -% -What do you call a gay jew? � A sodo-miser! -% -Bill O'Reilly is a very important news personality, one of the only -prominent news anchors who puts politics aside in favor of reporting pure -facts. Democracy needs a whole lot more Bill O'Reillys to weed the -propaganda out of the popular media. -% -So, /. must be the Berekely if the internet. I don't mean in terms of actual -politics, I mean in terms of the mindset that assumes everyone thinks like -us, or would if they were intelligent. Ogg people are sort of like -Trotskyites, when you think about it. An infinitesimal minority that tends -to disrupt the conversations of others with their irrelevant diatribes. -% -I will freak you like an animal, putting my sting in you sideways. I will -hit you up doggy-style until the sun comes up. I will whisper in your ear -that you are the most precious, sexiest gift of God that has ever existed in -all of creation. And I will do it in sheets made of the most exotic European -satin. -% -Learning about lunix is not about compiling everything from scratch. linux -is all in the configuration, not the bootstrapping and compilation. Debian's -package management tools pull down precompiled binaries, automatically, with -dependencies, PLUS, with a kernel-recompile and a bit of knowledge with -menuconfig, you can "optimize" the kernel (which is all that really matters) -to what hardware you have. Gentoo's motto: "life is too short to be spent -rebooting all day, but long enough to emerge openoffice (mozilla, kde, -gnome, any of the big suites.) Debian lets me install the packages, and get -on with configuring them. You're not going to learn any more about linux by -watching "gcc -lncurses -o main main.c -DOMGWTF" scroll by for hours. -% -From my experiences on irc, the only reason i can see for using any non -windows OS (linusex, freebsd, sun, barbieOS, macOS) is so that you can -appear k-rad to your irc peers. -% -Hi, my name is Gareth. I'm from Brisbane, Australia. I'm into emo and zines. -I actually used to do sexual stuff with my father. It was kinda weird when -it first happened, but it's cool now. We jerk each other off and sometimes I -rub his load into my nipples. It's pretty cool. I like to taste it. It's -salty. Sometimes I mix our semen together. It's like a party for our sperm. -They get some "social time." For a little while we used to play with each -others faeces. It was gross for a little bit, but once you get over the -whole "it stinks" part, it's awesome. It's like playing with DIY play dough. -That's pretty punk. I would love to play with your faeces. Some would think -faeces is faeces but hot chick faeces is alot better. Yours would be THE -SHIT. LOL. GET IT? -% -i remember once my dad sleeping on the couch and something was sticking out -of his pants, i thought it was a knife, so i went up to him and i touched it -and tried to pull the knife off his body and he woke up with me holding his -penis -% -The lowest requirements for Doom 3 are a Pentium 4 1.6 Ghz, and as we all -know the fastest pentiumIII is faster than the slowest pentium 4, so I think -I'm fine. If not, I'll just wait for the Linux binary to come out so that I -can run it on my ultra fast compiled-from-scratch Gentoo box. No M$ slow -downs for me! -% -Listen: Freebsd is for amateur tinkerers and college kids. Only some old -fart who started working in the 90s would still use BSD for anything -important. The last time FreeBSD was ahead of linux in anything was what? -1996? maybe 1998? Name anything freebsd actually does better than linux? -There is never anything specific backed up by facts. It's always just some -"well it's like more robust or something..." crap which means nothing and is -not even true. BSD is running on fumes of hype right now, once people wake -up and realize it sucks it will be all done. -% -excuse but this person promised me he would send me shemale snuff porn if i -was to send him some of mine, he lied. i sent him massive amounts of -tranzgender fucking sucking,blowing and jizzing and he still hasnt returned -the favor.please to not trade porn with this man on internet relay chat -% -It's a good thing we have conscientious websites like slashdot.org to report -this kind of stuff, it was completely ignored by the mainstream press. -% -I live with my best friend of many years. He and I eat dinner together, -watch TV together, and drink together. While we were in the living room -watching TV, he asked me if I wanted to masturbate with him. I hesitantly -said okay. I let him get started first and finally got the courage to do the -same. I was amazed at how much I watched his penis barely looking at the -women in the video. I saw him glance at me several times as well We -currently masturbate together about 3 nights a week. After the first month, -I told him I wanted to do what I like to but didn't want to freak him out. -He said okay, and after I ejaculated on my stomach, I scooped it up and ate -it. I've always done this. Just last week he shocked me by ejaculating in -his hand and asking me if I wanted it. I licked it out of his hand and that -was it. Can I be doing this and not be gay? -% -i will make a point to you people that the youth cant buy doom 3 as it has a -thing called an age rating, and if you dont want your children to play this -game thats fine by me.You shouldnt go around trying to get things banned -that us p.c gaming nuts will play and enjoy. Do something constructive like -donate money too the poor or help old ladies across the street than sitting -in front of a computer trying to get a video game banned. -% -Hey shithead. If I find any of your posts modded down I'll metamod in -agreement with the moderator. You are a piece of shit asshole who deserves -to be modded down. -% -Sometimes I'm convinced the only reason ipod users are so devoted/obsessed -is the fact that Apple treats its customers like shit. You know, the whole -abusive spouse paradigm -% -You present a real and true perspective. A perspective of one who spends all -his time surfing conspiracy websites and schizophrenic web forum postings, -disregarding anything that conflicts with a predetermined conspiracist -conclusion. -% -You're just a common or garden onanist. You open with a question, but then -gab on and on and on and on about yourself. You are a virgin who calls his -mother every night and then sobs quietely into his imported Japanese brandy -while masturbating impotently to a DVD freeze frame of Janeway with her hair -a little mussed. You will never know the touch of a woman, and never have -any friends outside of your widescreen 19" DVI LCD. When you die, your -arteries choked with Cheetos fat at age 32, your last thoughts will be of -blessed relief, and nobody will mourn your passing. -% -My cock stayed hard after coming from his fist slamming my prostrate with -each punch, the onslaught continued. He slide his fist back in elbow deep -and with the other hand untied my restraints. "Now turn over on your back -with my fist in your ass and then raise your legs high above your head so -your cunts fully exposed" I flipped over feeling that massive arm rotating -in my ass, almost making me cream again. I held my ass up high for him as he -held my leg with the other arm and the fisting started again. I looked down -to watch deep long fisting stokes, my asshole complaining with gurgling and -sucking sounds as he pummeled my asshole.. My balls were tied of tight as I -began to jack my cock "Go deep, really ruin it master!" He pulled out, wiped -his hands clean and untied my balls. "Hit the showers, slutboy! Your asshole -is totally wasted" I could feel huge lips flapping between my cheeks, afraid -to see what he has done, I know I never shit right for a awhile. -% -your thighs sweat from the cheap velvet of your walmart shorts, the -cellulite sticks out like a sore thumb. you sit in front of your webcam with -the dorito crumbs on your chest still left over from last weeks smorgasbord -% -Do they teach english in Palestine? You stinky fucking sand nigger. That's -right, I am to the Arabs as Hitler was to the Jews. My job is to exterminate -every last one of your race, starting with YOU, you disgusting wretch of an -Arab dog. You'll lick my boot right before you dig your own ditch, and then -I'll shoot you in the back of the head. You're naked, stomach swollen, -hungry, exhausted. You're my dog. If you're lucky, I won't feed your remains -to the pigs. Nothing can save you from your fate, the fate of all the Arabic -peoples: to be wiped off the face of the earth like the plague you are. You -can try to ignore me, but let's see if you can ignore a pistol being waved -in your face. You have no hope. You're stuck somewhere in the Middle East, -sucking donkey cock all day because your dirty Arab hide has no other way to -get nourishment. I'm in the wealthy west, sipping champagne and laughing -myself to tears as I watch your race get massacred on my 40" hdtv. I'll take -a dip in the cool waters of my olympic sized pool as your corpse rots in the -hot equatorial sun. -% -Touching, long handshakes, grasped buttocks, even walking hand in pocket by -two males is common place in the Arab world. A considerable number of Arabs -touch more between the same sex, to show liking--not sex. They hold hands at -urinals, hug each other, kiss if close friends, sometimes with tongue. This -is a pivotal part of Arab society that few westerners understand! -% -GOD DAMN SKATEBOARDERS ARE GAY...YOU LITTLE FISHY CUNTS SOUND LIKE A BUNCH -OF WOMEN ARGUING OVER SHOES. GOOD JOB LADIES...HOW ABOUT THIS...TAKE EACH -OTHERS COCKS OUT OF YOUR MOUTHS AND GET OVER IT. THE WHOLE WORLD IS MONEY -DRIVEN AND RUN, AND ALWAYS WILL BE. ILL BET MOST OF YOU ARE 15 AND HAVE NO -CONCEPT OF HOW EVERYTHING REALLY IS. ITS SO EASY TO SAY ALL THE STUPID SHIT -YOU ARE SAYING WHEN YOU DONT HAVE HUMAN BEINGS DEPENDING OON YOU TO SURVIVE -(ie: children). OH...AND REMEMBER...FUCK ISLAM AND ANYONE OF MIDDLE EASTERN -NATIONALITY....ROUND THEM UP, PUT THEM IN CAMPS AND LET THEM SIT THERE UNTIL -THINGS ARE SOLVED, OR UNTIL WE DECIDE TO EXTERMINATE EACH AND EVERYONE OF -THEM IN THE USA -% -It has been brought to my attention from a fellow of mine that he fingers -his asshole while he jerks off. We were talking about Ninja Turtles the -other day and he was like have you ever given yourself a Donatello? And I -had no idea what that meant so I asked and he said it was when you stick -your finger(s) in your asshole while you jerk off. So to that I say no and -ask him if he has ever given himself a Donatello, and he gives me some kind -of faggish grin. So I call him a fag. He says it helps him get it up faster -and cum faster. I still dont quite understand, why in the hell would you -want stick your fingers in your asshole. Is there something up there -special? The farthest I would ever go is wiping my ass. I just can't -imagine, I mean I've licked an asshole by mistake once, but voluntarily -sticking your fingers or objects in your ass while you jerk off just strikes -me as vile. -% -You see, Bob Barker was in New Jersey with a 42 year old woman. At any rate, -Bob and this Jersey broad, told the Jersey broad's teenaged kids to throw -pennies at hasidic jews. A cop saw it, and bid on door number one. Bob -Barker had him castrated... he now goes by the moniker "High Pitched Eric." -The rest is history. -% -Ah yes, the Nazi's come to play. Wonderful, the only thing more ignorant -than a homophobe is a racist. Well god help you my brother, because if your -Hitler youth ass ever steps foot in GA, I will find you myself. -% -I have problem with my sister husband. He started about a while back to -bring his friend over when he visit to start acting funny with me. Because -he is my sister husband I felt I could not refuse it and now it has turn to -sexual acts of an improper nature. Although intercourse had never occurred -he has shot his sperm on my face, placed objects in my anus and made to -drink his urine. How do I stop before things go farther. Thanks. -% -Guess what, asshole? I was one of the earliest hackers in the 1980s. I KNEW -Kevin Mitnick. Phone Phreaking is as secondary to me as skullfucking your -daughter. I'm going to keep calling your house, OVER AND OVER, and the phone -company will NEVER be able to trace the call. You're going down. -% -I have survived fights by always expecting at least one more attacker than -what you see and [I] always expect weapons. The time that I was seriously -cut? I was caught by surprise with a guy drawing a hidden straight razor. -That was in my early days. I have been fortunate enough to survive attacks -with my attackers presenting guns and knives. Usually two or more attackers. -I have also come out of fights relatively unscathed where I faced -approximately twenty gang members, several times, different occasions. -Mostly knives, chains, and pipes there. ...My first fight with a gang? I was -in high school ...I was determined that no one was going to get my buddy -from behind. The gang guys all started taking off their belts and rolling -them up on their fists. We walked out of that fight at the end of that fight -and he had no more trouble from that gang as long as he lived there ...It -was a stand up fight. I think I wouldn't let myself go down because I didn't -want to let my buddy down. ...We showed up at the agreed upon time and place -and there were about 20 of the Chinese gang members who were there to make -sure there was a "fair fight." Sure, that was why there were 20 of them -against the three of us and they used pipes and knives. 'Course we used -nunchucks, three sectional staff, and chain whip. That ended the fight real -quick. -% -you must be real smarte to be albe to make a space robot, my parents have a -dvd player thing, can you turn that into a robot, it has a lasre in it -% -Since I was a kid I always thought of Adolf Hitler as a great leader. When I -took a Holocaust class in school and the teacher preached about what a -scumbag he was and how much Germany fucked up I told her to go fuck herself -and I walked out a dropped the course. Everytime I see her I give a Sieg -Hiel and the salute. I wish Germany won World War II and the U.S. lost -miserably. The world would be such a greater, cooler place. -% -Picking your nose and eating it is one of the best ways to stay healthy, -according to a top Austrian doctor. Innsbruck-based lung specialist Prof Dr -Friedrich Bischinger said people who pick their noses with their fingers -were healthy, happier and probably better in tune with their bodies. He says -society should adopt a new approach to nose-picking and encourage children -to take it up. Dr Bischinger said: "With the finger you can get to places -you just can't reach with a handkerchief, keeping your nose far cleaner. -"And eating the dry remains of what you pull out is a great way of -strengthening the body's immune system. -% -U CANT FOOL ME WITH YOUR HACKED PROXY OMG DDOS DRONE NET PAQUETS REVERSE -TRACE HAXORS SUB7 PAQUETS PAQUETS PAQUETS NMAP MOUNTAIN DEW HUGE ASS UNIX -FREEBSD SLASHDOT OPEN SARCE DATA RAPE FIREWALLZ PAQUETZ XPLOIT VIRII DDOS -SCO LUNIX PARENTZ BASEMENT -% -What do we see? We see the figure of a muscular man laying back on some kind -of rocky outcrop, resting on a piece of animal skin. His left arms is tucked -behind his head, while the other drops to the side of the rock. His muscular -torso is well defined while his legs are raised up and seperated so that -both of his inner thighs are shown. It is clearly evident what part of the -male anatomy is being emphasized here as one's eyes cannot help but focus -upon the area between the thighs and alight upon the man's genitalia. -% -The girl can probably never be said to truly enjoy the experience if she is -fearful for her life or suffering the trauma's of the victimization but it -still seems funny to be that if she is going to be raped anyhow than she -should at least get a good fuck out of it. -% -She smiled as she felt her finger become drenched in her mother's hot cunt -juice. She was surprised. She reached into her bathrobe and pulled out -Karen's panties. If her mother had not been snoring so loudly, Karen would -have worried that she was in an alcohol induced coma. Karen pissed for a -long time, completely drenching her mother and the bed in warm piss. -% -My Band, although composed of 2 flute players, and almost soothing at times, -is comparable to the sound of Kenny G, but our music holds messages of hate, -genocide, and anal sex. We played the title track off our album, "Hitler was -the World's True Leader", which talks about killing Jews and acheiving Nazi -ideological clarity. -% -No more group sex in the Jacuzzi, got it? You all kept me up until 4am, and -all the chlorine in the world wouldn't get rid of the shit that I found -swimming in this thing 20 minutes ago. -% -SCIENCE TRIVIA: Did you know that the more members an instrumental rock band -has, the worse they are? Studies have shown that the optimal number is zero -% -Trolls are utterly impervious to criticism (constructive or otherwise). You -cannot negotiate with them; you cannot cause them to feel shame or -compassion; you cannot reason with them. They cannot be made to feel -remorse. For some reason, trolls do not feel they are bound by the rules of -courtesy or social responsibility. -% -I didn't get laid. She said she was "bi but doesn't date guys", so we're -just friends. God I'm such a fucking loser. -% -So assuming that I know how to write cronjobs, bash scripts that change the -color of my prompt, and DOS batch scripts, which language should I try -learning first? -% -Who is John Edwards? A Disingenuous, Unaccomplished Liberal and Friend to -Personal Injury Trial Lawyers -% -EvenFate's members form so clearly the pool of their music: the ripples of -each individual's craving for creation and the ripples of music that has -influenced them. Stark, bold, complex, and moving, Even Fate intends the -listener to let the waves inspire them, so the waves bounce back, and -inspire Even Fate -% -you guys got no life and you have shitty computers cause you can only run -old warez -% -An Apple computer user has at least three of the following features:he is -gay; he thinks he's straight, but yearns to get out the closet; loves the -smooth curves of plastic; has more money than brains; always ends up -"accidently" in a gay bar to "use the payphone"; has at least once -fantasized about blowing Wozniak in a shower; likes running through a field -of daisies; has an IKEA card; has worked as a "graphic designer" for at -least two years -% -Okay faggots, listen up. Mandatory drug tests today. Only this time, instead -of pissing in a cup, you'll be pissing on each other's faces. Sure hope you -like asparagus. -% -Not only would I kick your ass if you came and said this shit to my face, I -would shove your head so far up your ass, you would smell the mousse in your -hair. I would also make sure I bend your your ribs sequentially and throw -water on your face the whole time to make sure you remained conscious -throughout the entire ordeal. Then I'd call 911 and turn myself in to the -cops, make bail and go home. You'd be in pain for a long time. I'd be home, -in bed. Self defense. -% -I just heard sad news on talk radio - Laughingstock/operating system *BSD -was found dead in its Walnut Creek server this morning. I'm sure we all -won't miss it - even if you likely didn't use it, you've probably been -served a webpage by it. Truly an icon of uselessness. -% -If the choice of a sexual partner were protected by the Constitution, -prostitution, adultery, necrophilia, bestiality, possession of child -pornography, and even incest and pedophilia also would be. All of these acts -should be legal as long as no one is coerced. They are illegal only because -of prejudice and narrowmindedness. Some rules might be called for when these -acts directly affect other people's interests. For incest, contraception -could be mandatory to avoid risk of inbreeding. For prostitution, a license -should be required to ensure prostitutes get regular medical check-ups, and -they should have training and support in insisting on use of condoms. This -will be an advance in public health, compared with the situation today. For -necrophilia, it might be necessary to ask the next of kin for permission if -the decedent's will did not authorize it. Necrophilia would be my second -choice for what should be done with my corpse, the first being scientific or -medical use. Once my dead body is no longer of any use to me, it may as well -be of some use to someone. -% -Like any red-blooded, masculine man of the male gender, I love PVC weaponry. -You should too. If the concept of heading on down to the local Home Depot -and transforming $100 worth of random pipe bits into a killing machine -doesn�t appeal to you, you�re a goddamn pansy. Also, you�re probably sane -and will live significantly longer than I will. Nonetheless you disgust me, -and I take comfort in the knowledge that your obituary will be nowhere near -as humorous as mine. -% -this is how you hit on a woman, you punch her in the guts so nobody sees the -damage. then you grab her stupid girly head and make her suck your cock and -if she doesn't swallow and say mmm mmmm hallo i love 2 suck ur big cock -please give it to me baby" then you need to rape her in the butt ok don't -let these little sluts get away with showing their tummies and bra straps -you know they want to be fucked so just fuck them -% -niggers must really throw some nasty shit out. because you know damn well -they'd treasure most of what white people throw out. -% -I hope you have an ulcer and vomit your guts all over the ground, and then -I'll do a saucy jig on your entrails while you lay face down bleeding out -your nose, mouth and ass. then when you are almost dead I'll jerk my cock -hard and start throat fucking you your stomach juices will make for a spicy -lubricant. your last earthly sensation will be of hot jizz squirting down -your throat, and your death rattle will be more of a death gurgle as you -belch out your last breath in the form of a cum bubble -% -Cassini Probe touched Saturn's junk liberally. It strapped its camera into -Saturn's rings and wouldn't keep its offensive snapshots off it. It was -performing many red-filter image captures. Saturn couldnt believe what the -fuck was going on. Saturn told the Cassini probe that the solar system would -not approve of a human-manufactured orbital device taking pictures of a -gas-giant for free. It doesnt help at all that the probe has been enroute -for seven years. I hardly had time to prepare and hide the massive alien -population living on me. How am I possibly going to explain that to the -scientists who analyze the images in detail? They'll make me drop rings in -front of all the other planets again. There it is. The aliens are recieving -a transmission from SETI. I gotta go to a different solar system. -% -anyways i had a dream where i was sol badguy from guilty gear x well i had -all his powers but i looked like me which made it 10x more badass and i was -hella fighting people and i had a dreamone time i was venom. but i looked -like me, and my suit was way iller =\ -% -UMMMM OK WHO ARE YOU? WHERE DO YOU LIVE? I WILL MEET YOU WHERE EVER AND WHEN -EVER YOU WANT AND I WILL FIGHT YOU. UR A BITCH ASS NIG-GA TALKIN @#%$ LIKE -WHO YOU ARE. DONT MAKE A GAY RESPONSE TO THIS AND SAY "O UR NOT COOL, I WONT -FIGHT YOU, IM NOT TELLING YOU WHERE I LIVE" I DONT CARE HOW OLD YOU ARE I -WILL STILL F-UCK YOU UP. @#%$. UR PROBABLY A SAND NIGGER. STUPID SAND -NIGGERS ALWAYS GETTING INVOLVED IN STUFF -% -Aren't you a bit fucking fat to ride a horse? what gives you the guts to -call yourself a cowboy? you probably haven't been outside in so long you -probably don't even know what a horse even looks like. cowboy my ASS. you -fucking poseur. you are just a nerd. go back to your computers and slashdot. -a horse could whop your ass any day. -% -I even named my computer mouse Scabbers after Ron's pet in the Harry Potter -books. It's really fun. Sometimes I'll talk to it while I'm working as -though it's a real pet. "Hey Scabbers, I'll give you some cheese if you open -that .exe file." Or something like: "Scabbers, you little rascal, did you -just cause my computer to freeze?" -% -You know what? I took the plunge and installed Linux today. Top Hat or some -hat version. But now I have a problem. Im getting these big red lesions all -over me. Im not allergic to anything that would cause that, and I havent -become infected with any diseases, my doctor checked me out fine. Then I -figured out what Linux really is. Open Sores. Linux is killing me! Help! -% -ok. i installed linux. and it brought up this screen. i needed login and -password. i finally figured out to put "root" as login but then i brings up -this thing like [root@localhost root]# now what the fuck am i supposed to -put there -% -guys do you know when tupac is coming home? Im worried about him. He wears a -bulletproof vest so he usually is safe. but i made supper for him and he -hasnt come home yet! his potatoes and shake n baked chicken are starting to -get cold! -% -The worst terrorist attack in recorded history occurred just a two and a -half years ago, followed by a Holy War against Islam, and now Israel and the -Palestinians as well as India and Pakistan are teetering on the brink of -their own war, Argentina is in the midst of a financial crisis, America is -considering launching attacks against North Korea and Syria, and you people -have the gall to be discussing video games???? My *god*, people, GET SOME -PRIORITIES! The bodies of the thousands of innocent civilians who died (and -will die) in these unprecedented events could give a good god damn about -video games, your childish image macros, your nerf toy guns and whining -about the lack of a fun workplace, your Everquest/Diablo/D&D fixation, the -latest American Idol episode, or any of the other ways you are 'getting on -with your life' (here's a hint: watching American Idol in your jammies and -eating a bowl of Shreddies is *not* 'getting on with your life'). The souls -of the victims are watching in horror as you people squander your finite, -precious time on this earth playing video games! You people disgust me! -% -If you expect companies to follow the copyright of the GPL, you should -support the RIAA going after infringers of its copyright. If not, you're a -hypocrite. -% -AHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHHAH YOU FAGS ACTULLY THINK NINTENDO BEAT XBOX -HAHHAHAHAHAHH HOW AMUSING HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHHHHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH JUST -GIVE IT UPHAHHAHHA YOUR NOT GOING TO WIN !!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAH!!!!!!! A -NEW GAME COMING TO GAY CUBE CALLED PRINCESS NINTENDO IT COMES OUT THE SAME -TIME HALO 2 COMES OUT WHILE ILL BE PLAYING HALO 2 YOULL BE PLAYING PRINCSS -NINTENDO AHHAHAHHAHAH HELP MASTER BILL GATES CONQER THE WOURLD AND LET THE -EVIL EMPIRE RING HAHAHHHAHH JOIN I THINK ALL GC / PS2 OWNERS SHOULD BE SHOT -IN A FIELD DAM PS2 SUCKS AND GC SUCKS DAM SHAME THE GC IS WINNIG OVER THE -PS2 HAAHAAHAHHA SEE BILL GATES OUR XBOX LEADER WILL WIN US TO VICTORY DONT -BE MAD BECUSE YOU BOUGHT THE WRONG SYTEM JUST BUY AN XBOX NOW!!! AND SPARE -YOUR SELF WHEN BILL WINS THE COSOLE WAR!!! HAHAHAHAHHHHAHHAHHAH7TH -COLUM!!!!!1!1 GUES S WHAT YOUR USING BILL GATES COMPUTER ARENT YOU GAME CUBE -PEPOLE HAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHBILL GATES OWNS YOU -HAHAHHAHAHHAHAH!!! ENJOY ZELDA MASTER QEST WHAT A GAY GAM HE WILL NEVER KILL -MC LINK IS A FAGGOT THAT CAN TUN INTO A FUCKING KID !! ENJOY SUCKY GRAPHICS. -% -Or maybe i snatched your ip out of the irc stream and ran a backwards trace -against it, but hey, who knows right? Security exists for those who do not -know how to break it. -% -God damn it. I am sick of these extremist arab fucks. I wish we would turn -the region into green glowing glass. Don't feed me this "america caused it" -bullshit either, they are a bunch of fucking animals and should be treated -as such. -% -YES WE KNOW IT HAS DUAL XEONS NOW FOR FUCKS SAKE WILL YOU STOP TWISTING -EVERY SINGLE CONVERSATION AROUND JUST SO YOU CAN MENTION IT YOU STUPID, -PATHETIC, WHINING, LIFELESS VIRGIN PIECE OF SPOILT RICH-KID BUTTSUCKING SHIT -% -Batman whipped out a cease & decist from his utility belt. he slinked -towards me slowly like a g thug. "I believe this is for you" batman -bellowed. just as i was about to reach and grab the legal paper Batmans -hands thrusted towards my bean bag and he squeezed me into a coma. now its -10 years later. i have woken up. something smells funny. there is the batman -symbol on my bed as a shitstain. i have been violated. -% -Hi, my name is Najeeri Mongo and I am a quadrapelic who is deaf, dumb, and -blind. I also have a very blunted sense of touch. I have spent months -learning to read braille with my mouth so that I can come onto the intenet -and ask you all to help me. One of the care workers is touching my penis, a -lot, and no one seems to be doing anything about it. Please respond if you -can help me. -% -Have you eaten ground beef recently? Ground beef is the result of everything -outside of the cow's bones (including nerves) being ground up. Ground beef -often contains prions (misfolded proteins) which due to mammalian protein -metabolism act virally and will cause you to come down with -Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (CJD) where your brain slowly decays due to holes -forming in your brain, as the proteins in your body lose their ability to -fold properly. Do you feel as smart as you were last week, or last month? -You may have it. -% -PS- you'll fail at everything you ever try. Leave writing to the pros, sit -back, and feel the germs crawling all over your amoeba-like body. What's -that? Did you leave the oven on? Sorry, I'm so itchy, I can feel tiny mites -burrowing into the skin of my scalp, behind my ears, biting my ankles, god, -they'll go right through to my brain if I don't scratch them out. I just -remembered that I need to go refold all my clothes! -% -(���������) (���������) FOUR HOTDOGS (���������) (���������) -% -YOU'RE DOOMED TO A LIFE OF LONELINESS YOU WILL NEVER FIND ANYONE WHO TRULY -LOVES YOU EVEN YOUR PARENTS REGRET YOUR BIRTH YOU SPEND ALL YOUR TIME -CHATTING WITH FAKE FRIENDS ON THE MODEM AND YOU SPEND THE REST OF YOUR TIME -PLAYING WITH OPERATING SYSTEMS AND OTHER BORING SHIT GO BACK TO WATCHING TV -BECAUSE THAT ESCAPIST SHIT IS THE BEST YOU WILL EVER GET FAGGOT DIE DIE DIE -DIE DIE DIE DIE TIT ASS NIGGER -% -I HATE FAGS, NIGGERS, KYKES, CUNTS(IF IT BLEEDS IT DON'T FUCKING VOTE IF YOU -ASK ME YOU FUCKING FAGS), SPICS, SLANT EYED SLOPE ASS SMALL DICKED COMPUTER -USING BAD DRIVING THIEVING CHINAMEN/JAP/GOOK DUMBASS MOTHER FUCKERS NOW ALL -YOU ALL MOTHER FUCKERS BETTER GET WITH ME AND HOP ON THE WHITE TRAIN. -FUCKING NIGGERS DON'T HAVE SHIT ON MY WHITE MAN RIFLE, YOU WANNA KNOW WHY WE -OPRESS YOU? ITS BECAUSE YOU DIRTY THIEVING NEGROES SMELL LIKE A WHORE'S -ASSCRACK AND DESERVE EVERY PELLET OF BUCKSHOT IN MY POINT BLANK SHOTGUN -BLAST TO YOUR FILTHY GUTS. -% -O'Brien broke my will liberally. He sent me to room 101, strapped the rat -cage on my head, and would not keep his offensive rodents off me. He was -performing many red flag tortures. I could not believe what the fuck was -going on. I told O'Brien the Spirit of Man would not approve of the Head of -the Outer Party torturing the last humanist for free. It doesn't help that -the Ministry of Love has been holding me prisoner for months. I can barely -recognize myself! What am I going to tell Julia when she comes back from -room 101 to ask me why the fuck I told them to take her instead of me? -She'll make me commit thoughtcrime in front of everyone again. There it is. -The table next to mine is standing up for the Two Minute Hate. I gotta go. I -love Big Brother! -% -Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that -anal sex is nice because it works on all genders. -% -The planes on 9/11 must have run Windows ME because they sure crashed -quickly. Not a lot of uptime, if you get my drift. -% -I'm selling a wireless Dreamcast Modchip, you dont even need to open it up! -you put it just to the right of your console (where the fan is) and it will -work. I have 10 on stock, 5$ each, or 10 for 45$ , msg me if you are -intressted -% -Your hands are filthy, covered in vast amounts of fungi, bacteria, and -viruses. Underneath your fingernails is even worse. Also, the stove is on. -% -I think the PRESIDENT is the BOMB. SHOOT, sometimes, I think about GEORGE W. -BUSH and wonder if he would like the ISLAMABAD deli on 14th st here in -WASHINGTON, DC. I think the falafel is to DIE for. Or even to KILL for. It's -so good it makes me wanna declare a falafel JIHAD on all the other INFIDEL -falafel stands in the capital -- from those near THE WHITE HOUSE to those -near CAPITAL HILL. they give me heartburn, though. it's like they -ASSASSINATE my belly. it really KILLS me. -% -the link is only old because you are a loser and have nothing better to do -than FIND THE MOST CUTTING EDGE LINKS ON THE INTERNET. -% -A recent incident (last night) not really wanking but being wanked. My gf -was tossing me off in her parents spare bedroom as she didn't like giving me -head, as she always thought it might "taste funny". Anyway, lying bollock -naked, being careful not to make too much noise, my gf suddenly, and without -warning decided to suck my boaby. I let out a "gWaARgh!" and started spewing -a massive amount of testicular dairy into her mouth. Her dad then burst in -to o see what I was doing to his daughter, she shits herself, and sprays my -cum all over me. I was nearly sick, and she just pissed herself lauging. Her -Dad dissapeared very quickly, and has been making subtle jokes ever since in -the presence of everyone! -% -your modem touched my junk liberally. he strapped me in to his comms rack -and he couldnt keep his offensive rj11s off of me. he was performing many -red flag RX/TXs. i couldnt believe what the fuck was going on. i told your -modem the internet would not approve of a telecom device touching an -underage kid for free. it doesn't help at all that your modem has been -lagged to hell after touching everyone's junk. he can hardly whistle at 300 -baud after touching Chali's diseased junk. how is he possibly going to -explain this to the internet when he is responsible for 99% packet loss? -they'll make him drop carrier in front of the whole network again. there it -is. al gore just called and asked why your modem hasn't responded. he has to -go. -% -Turn ons include: Star trek TNG slasher fanfics (_NO_ rikker) and -fabricating an intricate web of self delusion. Turn offs include the word -"Kawaii" and the rancid smell of my own festering ass-crack. -% -John Stamos is getting divorced just as the Olsen twins turn 18. -Coincidence? I think not. I think someone is going to be entering the -backdoors of two little houses very soon. -% -Did you know that spiders cannot physically die of natural causes? If kept -safe, a spider can continue to live and grow larger for a theoretically -unlimited amount of time. In fact, in China there exists a collection of -'holy' spiders, hatched some 2,800 years ago during the height of the -Mang-Tsun dynasty. -% -Hitler was a horrible monster. Is it even worth debating? He was a failure -as a leader and a human being; this is universally accepted. Why even -discuss the actions of this mad demagogue? I mean, think about it... the guy -rises to a position of absolute power, with (arguably) the most powerful -army in Europe. He's Blitzkrieging all over the place, Churchill is trying -to appease his demands to avoid a full-out war, he's essentially -unstoppable: and then comes the horror of the Holocaust. What kind of -demonic possesion would cause a man in his position to use his power to -practically wipe out the jewish people and culture in Germany? The final -death toll was estimated at 4-6 million jews, despite the -years- in power -that they could have been executing the Jewish people. The death toll could -have been much, much higher. Hitler was a disgrace to the human race, more a -monster than man. Even discussing his actions, despite his motives, is an -affront to all that is pure and good. The most unfortunate thing is that he -took his own life before the proper punishment could be bestowed on him for -his terrible failure. -% -Taking an idea that I came up with a few years ago, but just never found -time to execute (well they really didn't steal this idea) they took the -original Legend of Zelda "overworld" theme for the Nintendo Entertainment -system, put a stronger beat over it, and turned it into a great rap song. -% -XTC RAVEZ CANDY VISORZ WATER BOTTLEZ LOVE PEACE TRIPLE STACKED PAUL -OAKENFOLD PLUR GLOWSTIX LOCKJAW PACIFIARS TURNTABLES PLUR EX STROBE LIGHTS -LASER SHOW UNDERGROUND RAVE RAVE RAVE XXX FUCK FUCK FUCK LOVE EVERY1 KANDY -BRACELETZ ACID WEED POT DRUG DRUG DRUG SPESHAL K TRANKWILIZER EXXXST -% -that does it. i am going to write a 4 panel gag manga about this very -situation, and it's going to cast you in a very unfavorable light. -% -hello are you familiar with playagain website if not maybe you can still -help i have downloaded a file from there, but not just there a chd file -using bittorrent and the file i cannot open th extract whats in there i do -not have a program to open it or even know what format it's in the file has -a white backgroung and a microsoft windows flag on it. please help -% -I just ate some fried chicken. The breasts were juicy, and the buns were -soft and warm. Afterwards, the division manager of Popeyes came up to my -table and asked me how the meal was.I said I was satisfied, but the meal -lacked a certain je ne sais quoi. He apologized profusely, and said he had -something to show me that would make up for it. He lead me to the back of -the popeyes, to a room soaked from floor to ceiling in blood. In the center -of it was a live horse, chained by all four legs to the structural supports -of the warehouse like room. As I watched, employees of the popeyes cut large -sections from the horse, which was whinneying and screaming in horror, the -remaining sections of its body covered with festering sores and a froth of -sweat. The popeyes employees took the chunks of horseflesh and sliced them -into pieces, then they rooted around through the bags of trash strewn around -the room to find discarded chicken bones. They quickly tenderized the meat -with sledgehammers and fed it into a machine which formed the horsemeat -around the bones, then they breaded and deepfried it. I asked the division -manager why he had led me back to this place, and he pointed at the steed's -rump, the diseased asshole puckering rythmically with terror, squirting pus -with each convulsion. {We're just about to use that section, would you like -a crack at it first?} I quickly unzipped my pants and wasted no time jamming -my erect penis into the stallion's defenseless asshole. With each thrust, I -donkey punched the horse in the back of the head, making it clench its ass -even tighter. I came just as the horse died. I was delighted. Popeyes -definitely went the extra mile to make me a satisfied customer. -% -Eat your own shit. That's a great way to start then move on to another hot -guy's load. The smell is a big turn-on for me and that gets me going and -wanting to eat the guy's shit. My first experiences with was a guy smoking a -cigar...and I gotta be honest, that still gets me going.It helps if you have -a feeder who can feed me slow and not all at once...but then some guys like -it all it once I guess...different strokes for different folks. What I would -suggest for someone who finds the smell harsh is try eating slowly if -possible and holding your breath at first...it will come with time if you -let it.Sometimes it helps to lie under a rim seat with a mirror nearby so -you can see how much your partner is enjoying it too...this is a real turn -on for me...giving pleasure gets me pleasure I find...and vice versa... -% -There is a new online code out, kinda lol and brb. This one is a little -different though. You all know how it feels when you're talking to someone -online,and your Mom is standig right behind you, reading every word that is -on the screen.Then of, course,the other person swears or talks about how -much you luv your crush or something and your Mom reads it and tells you to -get offline that instant, and not talk to that person anymore. Well, what -can we do about that? To solve this problem, now we have started the {Code -9} system. In code 9, u simply press 9 when your parent or sibing is -watching over your shoulder as you type That way, the other person will know -what you are talkin about, and begin a conversation about homework or -something. When your Mom or dad leaves, press 99 to let the person know that -they r gone, so u can have a normal conversation again. NOW, SEND THIS TO -EVERY1 YOU KNOW, SO CODE 9 CAN GO INTO EFFECT!!! IT IS VERY IMPORTANT YOU -SEND THIS EMAIL TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW>> -% -BEST DAM WAY TO COOK COLLAD GREENS BE REAL DAMN SIMPLE. SNATCH 2 O' 3 DEM -PUFFED HAM HOX N PUT EM IN SOME FAT ASS POT WIT SOME WATA. BRING DA SHIT -TO A BOIL N LET DAT SHIT BOIL FO 4 HOURS. ADD MO WATA BITCH BFO YO ASS -GONNA LET DAT SHIT DRY OUT LIKE A MOFUKKA. DA BRAINSTORM BE TA LET DAT SHIT -BOIL TIL DEM HOX BE ALL FALLIN PART N SHIT. COOK EM REAL DAMN THOROUGH OR A -NIGGA BE GETTIN LOCKJAW. GRAB DA GREENS AN SEPARATE DEM LEAVES. BDP USE DA -SCREEN OFF THA NAYBUHS CRIB. TASTE DEM GREENS, MAKE SURE THEY BE ALL SPICED -UP LIKE A NIGGA ON A MEXI HO N FLAVA IF NESSARY. SERVE WIT CHIITLINS. NOW U -BE KNOW WHAT GREENS BE LIKE BEAT DOWN POSSE STYLE. -% -While jerking off with some sort of lubricant, mount something like the -corner of the bathroom sink so that your balls are rubbing. This adds -intense pleasure to your nut sack. Also, try lubing up something like your -toothbrush handle and stick it up your ass while jerking...it hits the -G-spot nicely. -% -Software piracy is WRONG! You are stealing from hard working programmers. -Your IP HAS been noted, and is being forwarded to the SPA with a -reccomendation that they investigate your CRIMINAL activity. Please delete -all your pirated software before you are arrested! -% -Linux is illegal! You are breaking the law, and hurting yourself and your -family with your ILLEGAL SOFTWARE. Your ip has been noted and is being -forwarded to the SPA with a reccomendation that they investigate your -CRIMINAL ACTIVITY. Please destroy all your unpatriotic linux software before -you are arrested! -% -I'm a guy and my friend is a guy and for whatever reason I've always wanted -to ejaculate in his face. For his birthday one year, I decided to bake him a -birthday cake. In the middle of the baking, I decided I'll ejaculate in the -cake. He ate the cake. Therefore I indirectly ejaculated in his face. -% -My favorite way to masturbate is to purchase some Nickelodeon Gak. For those -who don't know its a strange little gel substance that's really cold and -slippery. It makes me feel like I'm having sex with an alien. -% -CALLING ALL 3RD GRADERS! How can you people think this game is entertaining? -i bet you also like pokemon, rayman, tak and the power of really stupid -games, and megaman battle network. why dont you grow up and play some real -games like Resident Evil. Oh wait, i forgot, your too dumb and your mommy -wont let you buy M-rated games. BOOO-HOOO! or the greatest game ever forged -by mankind....DIABLO 2!!! -% -MMMM........mmmm i'm abit confusing right now......why will they eat their -own poo-poo where it smell so terrible? Actually, mushu is very good in her -toilet training. She'll only pee & poo on the newspaper i prepared for her. -But she eats it when i'm away! After i beat her twice, she seems to bark at -the poo first before she goes near it. Then she'll smell it & play with it. -Then she'll put everything into her mouth!!!!! Yucks!!! But i didn't get the -chance to see it but my housemates did. -% -yeah it si ok bcuz if an older hamster itz his\her own poo they get the -mineral and vitamins thats left behind and was missed so it go though 2 -times and for the babys it is ok bcuz they need to eat the older hamster poo -so their stomach can get the bacteria and other stuff so it can help the -baby im not saying to pick up poo and stick it in the nest they willd o it -them self......(you wont see them) -% -2 to the izzle and 3 to the shizzle, see you on the flopside. your friend, -Riley Michel -% -My band, although hardcore, and almost scary at times, is comparable to the -sound of Limp Bizkit, but our music holds messages of much value. We played -the title track off our album, "This Road," which talks about working hard -to achieve goals in life. -% -I FOUND THIS REALLY COOL GAME CALLED EVERQUEST EVER HEARD OF IT LET ME TELL -U ABOUT MY ADVENTURES BTW I USE CHEETO CRUMBS FOR BABY POWDER WHEN I GET -MOISTURE PROBLEMS IN MY CROTCH -% -my name is Akmar and i am 7 yrs old and dad tied me in the basement and tell -me to have all dos game by 7 o clock or i get no food plz help -% -I'm not a goth. Many goths say this, but I'm really not one. Well, OK, I -wear black. And I like goth music. And regularly go to goth clubs. Argh, and -I've been known to wear silly goth outfits when I go. But I'm still not a -goth. -% -I've learned over the last week that I really like oral sex. I've learned -that every guy tastes differently and overall I like the taste. But. Cum is -best served fresh and hot. Cold cum is not my idea of a good meal. -% -I may not be as tech savvy as Linus Torvalds, but I know my way around the -Windows registry. -% -I really cant wait to get the money for the full version and my own server -with my clan so I can kick fags. Its amazing to me the capacity some people -have for being assholes and losers in a video game -% -IRAQI PRISONERS TORTURED? THIS IS NO DIFFERENT THAN WHAT HAPPENS AT THE -SKULL & BONES INITIATION...I'M TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE HAVING A GOOD TIME. -THESE PEOPLE -- YOU EVER HEARD OF EMOTIONAL RELEASE? YOU EVER HEARD OF -NEEDING TO BLOW SOME STEAM OFF? -% -"If a man finds a girl who is a virgin, who is not engaged, and seizes her -and lies with her and they are discovered, then the man who lay with her -shall give to the girl's father fifty {shekels} of silver, and she shall -become his wife because he has violated her; he cannot divorce her all his -days." (Deuteronomy 22:28-29, NASB) Can you imagine the mental torment and -terror such a woman would endure after being married to her rapist? -% -Christ clearly came to destroy Judaism and had nothing but contempt for the -Jews. He rejected their laws and customs, called them the spawn of Satan, -and basically condemned them to hell. How can anyone deny that the Jews were -directly responsible for the death of Christ when Christ himself directly -blames the Jews prior to his death? There is no Judeo-Christian religion, -tradition, or anything else. There is a war between God and the children of -Satan (Jews) that God will win, but nothing else. To speak of a -Judeo-Christian tradition, is like speaking of a Satanic-Christian tradition. -% -Yo, dawg, are you hitting on me? God, I hate fags! I wish one was here right -now. I'd make him fuck me up the ass and jerk off all over my face. And then -I'd lick his nipples while cupping his balls in my hands and be like, 'Is -that how you like it? Huh? Is that how you like it, fag?' And then I'd make -him take a dump on my chest while I masturbated. That'd teach that goddamn -queer. -% -I'm Jordan. I just wanted to see what my rating is, so please be honest. I'm -a good guy with a nice heart, and I love to read poetry. I am a full time -christian and I love the world. Live life to the fullest. Peace. -% -Ever since I was three I knew that something was something different in my -sexual preferences, as time went on I realized that I liked anime babes and -Hentai. Ever since then I have been looking at anime porn and such, I`m not -attracted to real girls that much. If I see a girl naked I won`t like it but -If I see hentai I`m all in for it. Since I`m a christian I`m wondering if -God made me this way for punishment or something, I don`t blame him at all. -He didn`t have to make me anyway so I thank him for simply making me. Anyway -is it normal for me to like anime babes or not? Should I tell my parents or -hide this secret from them? I`m looking at this HOT anime babe in her bra -and panties and I`m hard as heck! But is this a sin? -% -Like you've ever been to an arcade. The skin on your back would peel off if -you ever extricated yourself from your oily throne of cheeto crumbs and -mountain dew stains. -% -Im in the middle east. Middle eastern people may have dark skin like a -grl.......face it bitch...ur a motherfuckin dick suckin man -hoe!!!!!!!!!.........ur a faget ass punk pussy lil girl......ur da gayest -person ever........go to hell bitch!!!! -% -your fuckin gay you should be shot and put in a gas chamber you fuckin peice -of trailer trash....you put your moms dick back in your mouth and shut the -fuck up the song fuckin rules -% -I�AM�CAUSING�YOUR�XTERM�TO�SCROLL�THE�CAUSE�OF�YOUR�XTERM�SCROLLING�IS:�ME� -% -I thought ocd was like a car, too, but then my psychiatrist suggested that I -don't have to wash and wax my car and walk around it three times every time -before I drive (some of the paint is comming off, and it is only a 2002 -lumina) so I tried not doing it and that very same day, I got in a car -accident and they had to amputate part of my foot. Luckily I walked around -the car ONCE, or I might have been killed! I used to think cutting was self -destructive, but that was before it made me rich, famous, and helped me meet -the love of my life. Boy am I glad I never put down the razor! If you care -about yourself, cut EVERY DAY. If your boyfriend has OCD, you can Trick him -out of it. Try moving his car keys when he's not looking, changing the -ingredients in his food, swich his computer to spanish text by default, make -subtle hints that you are sleeping around on him. This will jog his brain -into working correctly, and he'll know you're only doing it because you love -him! -% -If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", -this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make -inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child -labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately -disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, -use toprevent hacking.AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most -likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy -this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to -have any hope of raising him well. -% -There are, unfortunately, many hacking manuals available in bookshops today. -A few titles to be on the lookout for are: "Snow Crash" and "Cryptonomicon" -by Neal Stephenson; "Neuromancer" by William Gibson; "Programming with Perl" -by Timothy O'Reilly; "Geeks" by Jon Katz; "The Hacker Crackdown" by Bruce -Sterling; "Microserfs" by Douglas Coupland; "Hackers" by Steven Levy; and -"The Cathedral and the Bazaar" by Eric S. Raymond. -% -Did you Europeans quit when you were behind in your butchering Jews like -unwanted fetuses? Don't bother booting up En Carta, genius, the answer is -no. My yarmulke wearing Sergeant Grandpa had to fly his jet over there and -knock the gas chamber remote out of your assy smelling fingers himself. And -while he was at it I think he popped a WWII era cap right in your sunken -euro-chest. I'll never forget the stories he told me about how he and his -buddies and a bunch of foxy WAVES liberated ol' San Francisco from you -slanty-eyed motherfuckers. -% -Another Infected Dick Sucker - that's what AIDS stands for. I'm going to -live to see the day you queers die a horrible death. There's no reason for -you to be here on earth. -% -So let me guess, you were one of those guys late up at night. jobless, and -tired of going to your dead end job, until you saw a commercial for an -exciting career in "Information Technology!" offered by the DeVry institute -where you will be trained in as little as 3 months in the field of -INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY! Promising you the career of $50,000 a yearAnd now -with this knowledge and your A+ certification, you join random channels in -irc in the hopes of you connecting with other INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY! -professionals so you can show off your shiny new {Certificate of completion} -from the DeVry institute. -% -The Quran requires the infidel, whether Jew or Christian, to be killed. ... -That's a core essence of the religion. ... Muhammad was a pirate who killed -infidels and who advocated the killing of infidels. Not a nice guy. Osama -bin Laden is in keeping with his fine tradition. -% -BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker -operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos -Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program -called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These -programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems -to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's -stereos to steal their music, using the 'mp3' program. Torovoltos is a -notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as -'telnet', which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet -without using a telephone. -% -I'm all talk? Lets meet at a secluded place and I'll show you how much talk -I am you pussy. I'll burry you so deep that your mommy will litter all of -California with your missing posters. -% -I JUST HAD THIS FREAK ACCIDENT WHERE I SAT DOWN TO WORK AND I SPILLED DOPE -INTO THE BONG AND THE LIGHTER FLICKED OUT AND SET IT ON FIRE AND THE WHEELS -OF MY CHAIR SLIPPED BACK AND I INHALED THE DOPE SMOKE AND ATE A MUFFIN -% -EFnet split my junk liberally. It strapped me into its splitting server and -would not keep its offensive lag off of me. It was performing many red flag -timeouts. I told EFnet dalvenjah would not approve of its servers -impersonating DALnet for free. It doesn't help that EFnet has been run by -nazis for eight years. Its hubs can barely stay up! What is EFnet going to -say to comstud when he comes back from a Dianora blow job and asks what the -fuck EFnet just did in front of 120,000 users? He'll make the hubs squit in -front of all the opers again. There it is. They just relinked irc.aol.com. I -gotta go. -% -Finally, a break from the linux tax. Yeah, you know the one -- the one that -makes you pour hundreds and hundreds of wasted man-hours into using poorly -written programs with little or no documentation. What can you expect from -spaghetti code written by hobbyists and students? I'll happily give my money -to the professionals any day, no matter what News for Nerds declares. -Honestly, I know most of you agree with me! -% -IF U R ON DIZ LIST, WTACH OUT!!! U R A MARKED MAN (OR WOMAN), I WILL HAV MY -VENGEANCE ON U ALL!!! U SHALL FEEL MY WRATHLY WRATH, U SHALL RUE DA DAY U -MADE AN N.A.ME OF DA MAD MATRIX HA><0R!!@#!$ -% -When the hell will all those people just curl up and die? I'm so heartily -sick of that mustachioed hippie free-love deviant ESR spouting his OSS -filth. When will he realise that he's made all the money he possibly can -from it, and it's time to just shut up and move along now? -% -Humidity overheated my junk liberally. It strapped me into its ambient -temperature and would not keep its offensive moisture off of me. It was -causing many red-flag heat strokes. I could not believe what the fuck was -going on. I told humidity that the Weather Network would not approve of a -cool front coming out of the Gulf Stream for free. It doesn.t help that the -Humidex has been at 40% for weeks. I can barely walk straight! What am I -going to tell my wife when she comes back from getting ice to ask why the -fuck I.m towelling off my balls in the presence of our children? She.ll make -me drop trau and use deodorant in front of everyone again. There it is. The -guy across the street just asked if anyone could smell .that.. I gotta go -shower. -% -HOT XXX YOUNG CUMSHOT WATERSPORTS ANAL FUCK BRITNEY SEX GRANDMA CUTE VOYEUR -LATINA FACIAL HENTAI PORN JACKOFF PUSSY ANAL SEX BLOWJOBS BACKDOOR HERSHEY -HIGHWAY CUMSHOT TEABAG $$DVDA$$ TITTY FUCK DIRTY SANCHEZ $DOUBLE -PENETRATION$ JAPSCAT $GOLDEN SHOWER$ LATTE ENEMAS $TVTA$ SKULLFUCK -DOGGYSTYLE MISSIONARY $QVQA$ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DIRTY HORSE BEASTIALITY KIDDY -PR0N LOLITA.MPG.JPG.AVI.DIVX.BMP.MOV.PIF -% -BANG BANG ALLAH MECCA KORAN AL AQSA BIN LADEN SHAHID YA SADDAM YA HABIB -UTRUB UTRUB TEL AVIV FILIN FILTIN FILYALLA FALESTIN $$TURBAN$$ AFGHANISTAN -WAR ON TERROR W.T.C 9/11-NEVER 4-GET JIHAD HEAVEN AL AQSA AL ABDALLAH YA -SHARIF AL QAEDA THE SHAYKH EMIR ABU ABDALLAH IN SPIRIT AND IN BLOOD WE WILL -FREE JERUSALEM AND ABU AMAR MATADERRA MATADERRA HAJJ NUJAHID ALLAH EMIR AL -HABIBBI -% -XTC RAVEZ CANDY VISORZ WATER BOTTLEZ LOVE PEACE TRIPLE STACKED PAUL -OAKENFOLD PLUR GLOWSTIX LOCKJAW PACIFIARS TURNTABLES PLUR EX STROBE LIGHTS -LASER SHOW UNDERGROUND RAVE RAVE RAVE XXX FUCK FUCK FUCK LOVE EVERY1 KANDY -BRACELETZ ACID WEED POT DRUG DRUG DRUG SPESHAL K TRANKWILIZER EXXXSTASY -COLORS UNDERGROUND RAVE MUZIK XTC DANCE ALL NITE FUCK THE PARENTZ -DEYHDRATION HUGE PANTS BODY PAINT PLUR PLUR PLUR LOCKJAW GLOW STIX VISOR -UNDERGROU -% -AUNT JEMIMA UNCLE BENZ RICE PANCAKES GRAINS WAFFLES GRITS HASH BROWNS BACON -ON POP KOOL AID WATERMELON FRIED CHICKEN OMMELETES BITCHES N 40Z FRIED -CHICKEN FISH ROLLIN WHEAT GRAINS AND OATS CORN PUFFS WIT WATER FRIED CATFISH -AUNT JEMIMA CRACK COCAINE SOUL FOOD KITCHEN BAKIN BREAD MAKIN GRITS FRIED -CHICKEN WATERMELLON SHRIMP WENDY'S SPICY CHICKEN SANDWICH ROLLIN BLUNTS -SMOKIN JOINTS HENNESEY GIN N JUICE CRISTAL COLONAL SANDERS REPRUHZEN -% -FUBU BIG CHAINZ DUBZ $BLING$ $BLING$ FUCK DA 5-0 BITCHES BLUNTS 40Z KICIKIN -IT BLUNTED JARNELL BABY MAMMA CHILD SUPPORT CHICKEN AN WATERMELON KOOL AID -DA RED KIND FOOD STAMPS WESTSIDE $$CASH MONIES$$ DRIVE BY RYDE OR DIE NIGGA -RUFF RYDA 4 LYFE PHAT ICE PHAT BLUNT DENZEL WASHINGTON ROCAWEAR ICE BLING -BLING 5-0 187 MURDA MURDA FOOD STAMPS BLUNTS PAPERZ BLAZED WELFARE CHITLINS -GRITS KOOL AID HOLLA BACK FUCK DA POLICE ROLLIN IN DA BENZ-O -% -420 BONG TOKE PARTY WEED BOB MARLEY SPLIFF CHEEBA TOKE BONG MARLEY JOINT -WE$D YEAH BOWL PACK WEED SMOKE YEAH NIGGER LEGALIZE SMOKE POT DANK WEED BUDS -FRUIT OF LIFE KOTTONMOUTH KINGZZZZZZ BONGHITS ONEHITS DUGOUT BUBBLER -STEAMROLLER ZIG-ZAG PHAT BAG SINSEMILLA HEMP SMOKE GRASS GAS OR ASS NOONE -RIDES FOR FREE PAPERZ LIGHTARZ LEGALIZ0RZ WHIPITS -% -u dont even know me kid shut the fuck up hidin behind yuor computar id -fuckin lump u out if u fronted on me like that in person fukin bitchass -littel nerd hidin behind cmputar screen littel pussy i kick ur ass irl fagget -% -I love to satisfy women in which ever way they choose. I love to please you -and make you scream and moan until you cant take it no more and grab my head -pushing it between your legs making my tongue go deeper and deeper until it -reaches that spot! And then squeezing my head between your thighs! I keep -going until you are so wet that your sweet juices are drippin and running -down your thighs and on my lips and all over my face -% -This has got to be the worst 'holiday' ever conceived. First, my friends -started by playing a mean prank on me, and then even my family got in on the -act. They took me out back into the woods, tied me to a tree, and paid a -drunken hillbilly to rape me! First he lubed up my asshole with his spit, -and then he proceeded to violently penetrate my ass. The stench exuding from -his unwashed mountain-man body was overwhelming, and only served to make me -sicker than I already had been. I couldn't help but begin vomiting, and this -only seemed to turn the hillbilly on more. After he finally finished and -deposited his semen in my rectum, my family and friends shouted {April -fools!!} They're going to get what's coming to them next year. -% -My father has been gone on Mar 26 due to an bus accident (fuck Shanghai XX -bus corp., fuck Shanghai XX hospital), I am very sorry for often making him -anger. I can't forgive myself, so I decide to stop this project including -reply service for at least 2 months according to our custom, please forgive -me. I promise I will be back, but now I am in very pain... Dad, please -forgive me, please bless mother, sister and me... unf -% -OH IT'S A SLYTHERIN SCARF!!! LOOK AT ME I LIKE HARRY POTTER!!! PS I HAVEN'T -READ THE BOOKS ONLY SEEN THE MOVIES -% -I bet Blihoorlt is one of those guys who has a "word of the day" calendar on -his desk, and every morning he nearly pees his pants because he's so excited -that he's going to learn a new word that he will use all day long (and -usually incorrectly), and then promptly forget it the next day when he tears -off the page. -% -Hyndmost, you appear to have a "sounding smart" fetish. But in reality I bet -you're a depressed nerd who dropped out of school because you couldn't take -getting made fun of anymore. Maybe if you didn't spend 5 minutes looking up -words on dictionary.com, it wouldn't take you so long to reply. -% -i claim to be liberal, and for the most part part i am...but i can't help it -that i just do not like black people. i want to but whenever i see one on -the street or something i can only think "Nigger!" i want to like them and -every once in awhile i meet a nice black person but most of them just seem -to be stupid niggers. -% -Your are thr reason this world going to hell your fucking piece of shit ...i -hope you get strike down by lighting in the middle of the field and then -wolfs eat your smodlering carcus you fucking physco path!! -% -Ladies: walk through the woods, grab a lumberjack, toss him to the ground, -strip him, suck his cock, piss his face wet and then get down to some dirty -dung duty. -% -Yesterday I was cooking some food in the kitchen and I heard an electric -shaver in the bathroom. The only other person in the house was my roommate -who is female. I rolled my eyes, realizing she must be shaving her pubic -area. When I later entered that bathroom, the trash can had a sizable ball -of brown curly hair in it. Gross. -% -There's a pubic hair on my keyboard. What the fuck?? I "mow the lawn" so -it's not mine. Gross. -% -Gentlemen, I am pleased to announce the following: My testicles and penis -are larger than the average size by a considerable degree, which women find -very attractive. I also possess a great deal of wealth, including sports -cars, real estate, works of art, and extensive liquid assets, which are also -very desirable to women. In short, your genotype has no chance to survive. -That is all. -% -I'm not racist (okay, no more racist than the average middle-aged American -white guy), but lately I've been barking out (in a really unnatural voice) -the words "STONE COLD SUPER NIGGER". -% -Please help me before I fry in the pits of hell. I masterbate several times -a day. My parents bought me the anti-erection ring and I deal with the pain -just to have that orgasm. I want to be castrated but my parents tell me I am -to old. They say that at 14 years old i will not be able to handle being -castrated. But they are wrong. -% -I can't believe I just let loose a fart in my pants at my workplace. What -the fuck? I can't sniff and make a disgusted face too soon, because that -would throw suspicion at this very person. Any change in my seating position -might cause the leather of the seat make a farting noise, alerting every -coworker within 30 feet of me. There is no way I could play that off as a -burp. It doesn't help at all that I've been a part timer for 3 weeks. I can -hardly pay the bills! How am I possibly going to explain this to my boss -when he comes back from photocopying TPS reports to ask me what the fuck I -just did in the presense of the CEO? He'll make me drop trou in front of the -temps again. There it is. The fat guy at the desk to the right of me just -asked if I could smell 'that'. I gotta go. -% -Niggers fucked my ass liberally. They strapped me onto the hood of their -Cadillac Escalade and could not keep their enormous dicks out of me. They -were performing many red flag touches. I could not believe how big their -cocks were. I told the niggers the city would not approve of an undercover -police officer shitting blood for a week without a doctor's note. -% - -1002001001001202301004100102010300101001001001010110101010100203010101010120 -THE MATIX HAS U -% -Yeah I hit her. When I told her to jump on my dick she said she was tired -and had to finish cleaning. I told her I wanted some fucking cunny now but -she didn't listen. Yeah I hit her fucking hard and gave her bruises. The -bitch deserved it. It's all her fault. Christ, now the fucking kids are -screaming. I'll be right back, I gotta beat some sense into them. -% -Yeah, I hit the bitch. She was fucking asking for it. I told her to go get -me a beer and sausage and you know what she fucking did? She brought me a -can of beer instead of a bottle. The fuckin whore, she knows the cans are -for the kids and I get bottles. DONGS. -% -BADABABABA IM LOVIN' IT : Scat d00d00d00d00 in my mouth -% -fuck shit bitch ass tits. Lets drop some e shoot some heroin and pass out in -a ditch. 3420 bong toke party. smoke dat herb into yo mind. <3 my mom smoked -so much weed im suprised im not retarded <31 you dumb fucking f a g g o t s -% -I am white trash and I live in a trailer and it's raining real hard outside -and I heard some hard knocking on my door and I looked out the window and I -saw some guy wearing a mask running around to the back of the trailer and -now I hear him banging on the side and then I saw him looking in another -window and now I closed all the blinds and now the power has gone out and I -think he's gonna break in and kill me. -% -I love to lick the sweet pre-cum from a black man. Kiss and lick his nipples -then deep throat his cock until I gag. I'm willing to travel far for a man -who's interested in the best suck he's ever had. Please let me choke and gag -on your cock. I can suck off a 9 inch (22.5cm) cock with ease. I also have -some great butt pussy. It's tight and can be tamed. Let's deep kiss first! -We can share a bottle of wine and get sexy together. -% -Oh My!! Straight from heaven. Ide bury my nose deep in that cotton and take -deep, slow breaths. Enjoying that sweet musky boquet. Suck her taste and -flavor through the moist fabric and smile. Slip the panel aside and gently -lick and suck that tastey pink morsel until she grabbed the back of my head, -bucking her hips and forcing my face into her hot wet snatch. -% -Comcast bid on our junk liberally. They strapped us into their Entertainment -and Communications portfolio and would not keep their offensive investors -off us. They were offering to assume many red-ink net debts. We couldn't -believe what the fuck was going on. We told Comcast the Securities and -Exchange Commission would not approve of two multi-million dollar -corporations merging tax-free. It doesn't help at all that we've been -hypnotizing the youth of America for 67 years. We can hardly turn a profit! -How are we possibly going to explain this to the press when they arrive and -ask us how the fuck we lost the Pixar contract in the presence of our -shareholders? They'll make the Board of Directors drop trau in front of -everyone again. There it is. The FCC just left us a very pissed-off -voicemail. We gotta go. -% -I am a gay. My problem is my asshole is very small and even my finger does -not fit inside. How can I make my asshole wider. -% -The bitch beat the crap out of me. She made me bleed, and left welts on my -ass and back. She was beating me like she was Furio and I owed money to Tony -Soprano. She went to work on my ass with a spatula, wooden kitchen spoons, -everything. She bit my nipples. She even tried to go at my nuts with some -tongs. It was hilarious, and painful. -% -Hi =) i don't mean to do spam... just thought to let u know that there is -another channel around. #HyDrO-WaReZ... thanks =) -% -I went to MacWorld and persuaded an Adobe employee to preview the then beta -of Photoshop 4. He left me to mess around with it on my own and while he was -talking to some other folks I pulled out an ethernet crossover cable and -connected his Mac to my Powerbook and copied over the Photoshop Beta. -% -If your tongue is anything like your foot, then I will sweat like a banchee -if you eat me out. -% -MMMMMMMMMMMMM. Crunchy, mushy CATBOX. The PEARL OF THE ORIENT. You JERK THAT -SHIT, HOLMES. You JERK IT LIKE YOU'VE NEVER JERKED BEFORE. For the LOVE OF -CHRIST AND BALLS, JERK like the WORLD IS GOING TO FUCKING END. -% -Sometimes when I put something full of flavor in my mouth, I close my eyes -and feel like I'm flying-drifting into eternity, above and beyond all the -craziness of the world below, and I dream that all there is in the world is -love, harmony and bacon. In an effort to forward world peace, I plan to be -the first person to send bacon into space. -% -I remember one time at fashion camp Dustin Diamond came up behind me and -pulled my shirt over my head. He pushed me to the ground and jumped on top -of me. He took 3 pairs of handcuffs out of his rear pocket. He used one pair -to bind my hands, another for my feet, and the last one to bind my hands and -feet together. Dustin Diamond then ripped off all of my clothes including my -new shirt and silk briefs. He put his mouth on my penis and masturbated me -for a minute or two and then he turned me around on the ground. Dustin -Diamond then disrobed himself and lay down on top of me. He inserted his -penis in to my anus. I couldn't believe what the fuck was going on. Dustin -Diamond was fucking me in the ass! He continued to fuck me in the ass. I -counted every second of it. After 27 seconds he ejaculated inside of me. I -was mortified. The worst part was that my new shirt was ripped and I didn't -even reach orgasm! -% -But anyway, my dad is said to have a ten inch cock, but I have not seen it -since I was five, so I don't remember. -% -I can't believe I just took a shit in my bathing suit at the beach. What the -fuck? I cant stand up and take it to the ocean, because I am wading in a -puddle of feces at this very moment. Any change in my seating position will -send my poo spilling down my legs and into view of every sunbather within 30 -feet of me. There is no way I can play this off as a fart. It doesn't help -at all that I've been spun out for 3 days. I can hardly see straight! How am -I possibly going to explain this to my wife when she comes back from getting -chili dogs to ask me what the fuck I just did in the presence of my -children? She'll make me drop trau in front of everyone again. There it is. -The family on the blanket to the right of me just asked if I could smell -'that'. I gotta go. -% -By taking the name of the popular operating system 'windows' and replacing -the last bit with 'blows' (which is a colloquialism meaning 'bad' or -'inferior') you've just given the name a whole new meaning, while not really -changing the sound of the word too much! this is the epitome of both wit and -humour! other highly amusing (and often underused) slag terms are 'windoze' -(doze meaning 'light sleep' or 'knap') and {'M$'} (which usually stands for -MicroSoft, but in this case, the 'S' is deliciously replaced with a dollar -sign to represent how they unfairly charge for their products!) This is a -new wave of humour, people. I think we should riddle all our posts, replies -and (where applicable) everyday speech with these little beauties to forever -represent that we, the open source community, know better than everyone else! -% -I AM MR DARL MCBRIDE CURRENTLY SERVING AS THE PRESIDENT AND CHIEF EXECUTIVE -OFFICER OF THE SCO GROUP, FORMERLY KNOWN AS CALDERA SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL, -IN LINDON, UTAH, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. I KNOW THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE -YOU BECAUSE WE HAVE HAD NO PREVIOUS COMMUNICATIONS OR BUSINESS DEALINGS -BEFORE NOW. MY ASSOCIATES HAVE RECENTLY MADE CLAIM TO COMPUTER SOFTWARES -WORTH AN ESTIMATED {$1} BILLION U.S. DOLLARS. I AM WRITING TO YOU IN -CONFIDENCE BECAUSE WE URGENTLY REQUIRE YOUR ASSISTANCE TO OBTAIN THESE FUNDS. -% -One day Captain Kirk was maiming his cock with a horseshoe when suddenly Mr. -Spock ran up to him and shoved his pointy ear up his butt. "What is this -for!" the fag captain said. "FAGS FOR YOU AALL!L!!!" the ancient alien -howled as suddenly he farted and Captain Kirk twirled around in a daze and -his foreskin twisted and his kidney stones turned into wooden beads. He -pulled out his pistol and shot lasers at his chastity belt and suddenly he -hurdled his dick into Captain Kirk's bellybutton and it tore his flesh while -Spock fucked his stomach. Kirk hollered out loud and Mr. Spock threw his -shoes to the floor and wrinkled his penis until Kirk bellowed out to make it -stop. A maelstrom of shit whizzed around the ship and suddenly a giant fag -appeared out side and the U.S.S. Enterprise went up his butt. "Oh what the -hell have you gotten us into NOW!" Captain Kirk said as he oozed a condom -back on his dick and put his panties back on. OOH!H!!!!!! Mr. Spock started -fucking him again and shoved his phazer up his butt. He dissolved his glands -and exploded his turds and finally a queer klingon hurdled through the door -and smashed Kirk with his butt hairs. A maniac sucked his dick and suddenly -Mr. Spock fagged Kirk so hard that his intestines burst open and he died. -% -batman touched my junk liberally. he strapped me in to his batmobile and he -couldnt keep his offensive hands off of me. he was performing many red flag -touches. i couldnt believe what the fuck was going on. i told batman the -city would not approve of a millionaire touching an underage kid for free. -% -I'm going to drive a remote controlled car into your mother's pussy and have -it drive on her clitoris over and over again until she cums on it and it -catches on fire and she dies from pussy burning -% - 9/11 was done by sandniggers and all 7-11s are run by sandniggers. -coincidence? i think not. -% -Hello. Did you know Chali is a disgusting whore? Please surf over to Stile's -Stileproject.com to see her latest pornographic material. This bitch -disgusts me in her lascivious lifestyle. All day she hungers for sex and -masturbates and in general pollutes the human condition. Redeem yourself at -#teens4christ. Thanks for reading this. dongs. -% -O say can you see by the monitors early light what so proudly we hailed at -the twilight's last gleaming? Whose broad scripts and bright colour through -the perilous fight O'er the jupes we watched were so gallantly streaming? -And the rockets red glare g-lines bursting in air gave proof through the -night that our chan was still there. O say does that #T4C banner yet wave? -O'er the land of the pedo and the home of the gay. -% -Michael Jackson touched my junk liberally. he slept with me in bed and he -couldnt keep his offensive hands off of me. he was performing many red flag -touches. i couldnt believe what the fuck was going on. i told michael the -city would not approve of the King of Pop touching an underage kid in bed -% -You really do not even know me, child. I demand that you immediately silence -yourself. You're hiding behind your computer, for goodness sake! I would hug -you if you ever talked to me like that in person, child. -% -Yo! First off I love the Lord Jesus. My name is Ron. I am a Freshman at -Winona State. My family is really important to me. I'm not doing this to -find a g/f. I just thought it would be funny and I like to meet new people. -Peace out! -% -Kobe Bryant is being attacked by all the media concerning the sex assault -charge filed against him. It fine when he dunking on the basketball court -but he a criminal when he going strong to the hole with a white woman. That -be some bullsheeeee-it. This is most terrible travesties. First they take -the McRib off the Mack Donald's menu, now this. There will never be justice -for our peoples. -% -Rory touched my virgin junk liberally. He strapped me into his Trans Am and -told me we were taking a detour on the way back from the prom. I could not -believe what the fuck was going on. He vomited red many times as he had been -drinking heavily. I told him the athletic staff would not approve of the -star quarterback falling asleep inside an underage girl. There it is. My dad -found us at makeout ridge. I've got to go. -% -I swear, if these homosexuals don't take a hint and quit sucking my cock all -the time, I'm going to have to resort to drastic measures, like maybe -pinning them down to the cement floor of the loading dock with my powerful -forearms and working my cock all the way up their butt so they understand -loud and clear just how much I disapprove of their unwelcome advances. I -mean, you can't get much more direct than that. -% -I think gay cruises should be called something other than a cruise because -cruising is what gay men do all the time and it's not like they need a -vacation from fucking strangers am i rite gentlemen? -% -I QUIT IRC FOREVER! I'M THROUGH WITH THIS SHIT HOLE FUCK YOU ALL YOU FUCKING -QUEERS! GO BACK TO YOUR FUCKING STUPID TALK ABOUT WEB BROWSERS EVERYONE -KNOWS THAT OPERA SUCKS A FAT DICK ANYWAYS OH AND ALIEN88 - GET A FUCKING -LIFE! YOU'LL NEVER GET A FUCKING GIRLFRIEND ALL YOU DO IS SIT ON FRONT OF -THE COMPUTER ALL DAY LONG AND TALK ABOUT STUPID SHIT WITH THE REST OF THESE -STUPID FAGGOTS! YOU'RE A FUCKING QUEEN ! -% -my girlfriend is so mad just because when she was sucking my cock i clubbed -her with a high heel on the back of the head, grabbed a handful of hair, -yanked her off and started pissing in her face she was choking really bad -and then she vomited on my cock. she should understand that is what i am -into. money ho's and clothes. How can I apologize? -% -i was just awarded a "yellow star" and while i appreciate that you -appreciate my bidding and doing business on ebay. i must tell you though, -that since my family has lost many members in the holocaust, it was very -upsetting to me, to be "awarded a yellow star" . if you are not aware, jews -were made to wear yellow stars to identify them as jews so they could be -rounded up for the concentration camps. -% -I got news for these niggers. They can screw 100 degenerate White sluts a -day and that doesn't change the fact that they're still just niggers. Its -like the niggers who go out and buy Cadillacs or BMWs imagining people will -think they're "high class" or rich. LOL! When people see a nigger riding -around in an expensive car, they automatically know its nobody of any value -or class, just a dumb nigger trying to act rich. -% -I GOT JUMTED IN WHEN I WAS 11 BITCH IM 13 WITH A BULLET STILL KICKING BACK -LEVA..... OH YA THE ONE WHO MADE THE WEB SITE GOOD JOB BUT MAKE THE COLOR -BLUE IN STED OF BITCH ASS RED........FUCK WEST SIDE SNICHES,EAST SIDE -BITCHES,NORTH SIDE SLUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -% -yo fuckin idiot, trying to step up to me/ you should be lookin up like a -midget standing in front of a tall tree/ i was going to start dissin you/ -but here's what i'll do/ since you start dissing your ownself/ with rhyme as -old as a book covered with dust on top of the bookshelf/ you call yourself -the fuckin idiot/ you must be pretty smart because you came up with it/ -% -Horney? Looking for a quick no strings blow job, swing by, walk in, un zip, -feed it to me, fuck my face, squirt n go. no games, no names, no -reciprocation! very discreet, I live alone, can host anytime this weekend. -You: HWP, 45/under. clean and ready to squirt. send me a message with your -info, age, height, weight and when you wanna squirt. Me: good looking, very -discreet, white male. -% -Hey, I remember one time out on the ranch I was with my brother and I -decided to pull a trick on my brother. I took two thick, dense cords of -sheep feces and put it in a bowl. I gave to my brother and told him it was -chocolate pudding. He began to eat the sheep feces. In fact, HE FINISHED -EVERY LAST BIT! My brother ate sheep shit!!! But the funny thing is, I don't -even have a brother! It was me! I ATE SHEEP SHIT!!! -% -listen you fucking shit skinned coon nigger jungle bunny spear chucker. Shut -your chocolate tar baby hide before I whip your ass. go back to niggeria and -prance around with all the Schvartza in the bush you fucking moolie nigger. -ill fucking brand you toby, and if you try any of that KUNTA KINTA crap ill -fucking execute you and feed you to pigs. -% -this channel is for ballers, shot callers, those rolling and controlling and -folks willing to represent memories of Tupac and keep the dream of the Black -Planet alive. -% -you shut your face you nigger loving pile of intestinal feces, ill rip your -bowels out and feast on them, then i'll impregnate your girlfriend and wait -7 months then unwravel her belly button and suck out all the vaginal -discharge and feast upon the baby. i will fornicate your liver, then make -you guzzle gallon after gallon of putrid diarrhea. you will gag on my green -logs of asshole mud butter -% -oh wait you remember when frodo was dry humping bilbo up the ass in a -classroom at gryffendorf then harry potter walked in and started tossing -frodo's salad HOLY SHIT I DO NOT CARE -% -u dont even know me kid shut the fuck up hidin behind your computer i'd -fuckin lump u out if you fronted on me like that in person kid -% -So you guys can go on about your mitsis and your fake idles and whatever -bullshit you talk about to pass the time and make the constant throbbing -reminder that your live is a living hell go away. I'll be hanging out with -my FRIEND, watching anime. -% -I'll fuck you in the ass you punk ass white boy. I'll fuck you in the ass -you coward, you bitch. You fucking faggot! Come up and take me on you scared -coward. You white bitch. You ain't man enough to fuck with me, bitch! There -ain't no-one in the room big enough to take me on. You're just scared like a -little white pussy. I'll fuck you till you love me, you faggot! -% -It's safe to say that I am one of the world's foremost experts on memes and in fact there is no one I can think of that has a meme resume as impressive as mine. So please tell me, what are your qualifications to say that I don't know what a meme is?}} +scalar \{What\ an\ evasive\ answer.\ \ I\ want\ to\ know\ if\ you\ have\ been\ the\ parent\ of\ a\ \nchild\ who\ has\ been\ terminally\ or\ chronically\ ill.\ \ That\ is\ a\ yes\ or\ no\ \nanswer.\ \ What\ is\ subjective\ about\ that?\ \ Do\ you\ have\ kids\ or\ not?\ \ Did\ you\ \nhave\ sick\ siblings\ as\ a\ child\ or\ not?\ \ If\ you\ answer\ with\ \"I've\ pretty\ much\ \nbeen....\"\ then\ you\ are\ a\ coward\ and\ a\ pretentious\ idiot-fuck.\ \ Answer\ the\ \nfucking\ question.\ \ I\ find\ your\ answer\ pretty\ condescending\ to\ the\ Robbins's\ \nsituation,\ and\ it\ really\ struck\ me\ raw.\ \ If\ you\ can't\ empathize,\ you\ can't.\ \ \nJust\ \ say\ that\ it\ sounds\ terrible.\ \ Don't\ say\ that\ you\ have\ \"a\ pretty\ good\ \nidea\"\ and\ that\ it\ is\ \"subjective.\"\ \ Would\ you\ tell\ J.\ that\ you\ know\ how\ it\ \nis?\n\nYou\ didn't\ reflect\ at\ all\ with\ sympathy\;\ you\ directed\ the\ attention\ back\ to\ \nyourself.\ \ I'm\ just\ curious\ if\ you\ are\ pathological\ or\ if\ you\ have\ a\ story.\n%\nThat's\ why\ when\ I\ was\ wrestling\ half\ my\ training\ regimen\ was\ spent\ \nstrengthening\ my\ sphincter\ muscles.\ One\ of\ the\ better\ excercises\ was\ \nsticking\ a\ roll\ of\ quarters\ up\ my\ ass,\ then\ I\ would\ slowly\ and\ deliberately\ \npush\ it\ back\ out.\ I\ got\ so\ good\ at\ this\ the\ guys\ would\ hand\ me\ a\ dollar\ \nafter\ practice,\ asking\ for\ change\ for\ the\ soda\ machine.\ The\ first\ time\ this\ \nwas\ meant\ to\ be\ a\ joke\ but\ when\ my\ muscles\ became\ so\ refined\ that\ I\ could\ \ngive\ the\ change\ to\ them\ one\ quarter\ at\ a\ time,\ the\ joke\ was\ on\ them.\n\nThe\ end\ result\ was\ that\ I\ became\ strong\ enough\ to\ lock-in\ my\ opponents\ \nfinger(s)\ when\ he\ tried\ to\ check\ my\ oil,\ thereby\ incapacitating\ half\ of\ his\ \nmobility\ and\ strength.\ I\ can't\ tell\ you\ how\ many\ reversal\ points\ I\ scored\ \noff\ this,\ but\ it\ was\ worth\ at\ least\ two\ every\ match.\n%\nI\ was\ at\ the\ mall\ today\ buying\ some\ yugioh\ cards\ (tryin'\ to\ complete\ my\ CDIP\ \nset)\ &\ this\ kid\ standing\ next\ to\ me\ in\ line\ at\ the\ game\ shop\ says\ \"Man,\ that\ \nyugiHO\ s**t\ is\ homo,\ you\ shouldn't\ be\ wasting\ your\ faggot\ cash\ on\ some\ lame\ \nfucking\ s**t\ crap\ like\ that.\ Fuckin'\ cocksucker.\"\ I\ turned\ around,\ saw\ no\ \none,\ then\ peered\ down\ at\ a\ child\ who\ looked\ about\ 10\ years\ old\ holding\ many\ \npacks\ of\ Pokemon\ Unseen\ Forces.\n\nI\ then\ got\ into\ a\ debate\ (for\ what\ seemed\ like\ 30\ minutes\ or\ so)\ on\ the\ \nsuperiority\ of\ Yugioh\ to\ poke'mon.\ And\ at\ the\ end\ he\ just\ called\ me\ a\ \"fag\"\ \nand\ proceeded\ to\ punch\ my\ in\ the\ stomach.\ I\ finally\ crawled\ on\ my\ bruised\ \nstomach\ to\ a\ nearby\ mall\ cop,\ and\ pointed\ to\ that\ snot\ nosed\ brat,\ last\ I\ \nsaw\ of\ him\ he\ was\ on\ the\ mall\ cops\ shoulder\ cying\ for\ his\ mother.\ Ha...kids..\n%\ni'm\ sick\ and\ tired\ of\ people\ thinking\ being\ ugly\ is\ just\ \"how\ god\ made\ \nyou\"!!!\ Here's\ two\ prime\ examples\ of\ how\ this\ statement\ is\ false,\ please\ \nfeel\ free\ to\ add\ yer\ own.\ :P\n\nHow\ one\ gets\ fat:\n\n\ \ \ \ eating\ WAY\ too\ fucking\ much\n\n\[or\]\n\n\ \ \ \ they\ are\ genetically\ HUGE\ \[lol\ only\ in\ very\ few\ cases\]\n\n>>Conclusion:\ lol,\ fat=no\ self\ control\ to\ stop\ fucking\ eating\;\ no\ self\ \ncontrol=not\ very\ attractive\;\ fat=not\ pretty.\n\nHow\ one\ gets\ acne:\n\n\ \ \ \ oily\ icky\ gross\ dirty\ skin\ that\ isn't\ washed\ and\ has\ dead\ skin\ \nclogging\ pores\n\n\[or\]\n\n\ \ \ \ genetically\ gross\ \[lol,\ in\ some\ cases,\ yet\ they\ can\ be\ 'fixed'\ so\ \nit's\ still\ no\ excuse\]\n\n>>>Conclusion:\ lol,\ wash\ yur\ fucking\ face!\ acne=no\ self\ responsibity\ to\ wash\ \nyur\ fucking\ face!\;\ no\ responsibility=lol\ not\ very\ attractive\;\ acne=not\ pretty\nTHUS,\ /end\ rant,\ but\ yes,\ people\ who\ don't\ have\ the\ self\ control\ to\ be\ at\ a\ \nreasonable\ weight\ are\ icky\ icky\ gross,\ and\ dirty\ people\ ho\ don't\ wash,\ lol\ \new,\ yea,\ gross.\n%\nAnime\ isn't\ just\ a\ bunch\ of\ cheap\ American\ ripoffs\ of\ cartoons,\ it's\ art.\ \nNext\ time\ you\ American\ sheeple\ are\ watching\ your\ simpsons\ or\ south\ park\ or\ \nwhatever\ mindless\ American\ cartoons\ that\ have\ plots,\ storylines\ and\ comedy,\ \nI'll\ be\ Admiring\ the\ wonderful\ and\ superior\ art\ of\ Chinese\ cartoons.\n%\noh\ and\ to\ people\ who\ are\ worried\ about\ games\ looking\ childish\ its\ usually\ a\ \ngood\ indication\ that\ your\ a\ just\ a\ kid\ who\ thinks\ he's\ grown\ up\ cause\ he\ can\ \nshoot\ hookers\ in\ GTA\n%\nThere\ is\ very\ little\ of\ value\ in\ blogging.\ \ There\ are\ some\ real\ journalists\ \nwho\ have\ an\ online\ newsletter,\ and\ real\ writers\ who\ post\ articles\ \nindependently\ --\ that\ they\ happen\ to\ be\ classified\ as\ blogs\ flatters\ the\ \nsycophantic\ self-indulgent\ blogosphere\ at\ large.\ \ Imagine\ if\ you\ serialized\ \nyour\ blog\ and\ emailed\ all\ your\ friends\ with\ it\ every\ time\ you\ updated\ it?\ \ \nIf\ they\ wouldn't\ welcome\ such\ a\ diary,\ don't\ bother\ with\ your\ blog.\ \ The\ \npeople\ who\ care\ are\ the\ people\ no\ one\ cares\ about.\n%\nThe\ problem\ is\ all\ bloggers\ have\ a\ following\ --\ other\ bloggers.\ \ Should\ we\ \nallow\ every\ member\ of\ NAMBLA\ his\ own\ page\ on\ Wikipedia\ because\ he\ has\ a\ few\ \ndozen\ acquaintances\ at\ NAMBLA?\ \ No.\ \ Nearly\ all\ bloggers\ who\ are\ nothing\ but\ \nshould\ be\ eliminated\ from\ Wikipedia.\ \ Published\ journalists\ and\ legitimate\ \nauthors\ who\ happened\ to\ be\ classified\ as\ \"bloggers\"\ are\ welcome,\ of\ course.\n%\nI'm\ not\ trying\ to\ brag\ or\ anything,\ but\ yeah,\ I\ smoke\ weed.\ I\ don't\ give\ a\ \ndamn\ what\ anyone\ says\ regarding\ marijuana\ laws.\ Go\ ahead,\ trace\ my\ ip.\ Tell\ \nthe\ cops\ where\ I\ live,\ I\ should\ be\ able\ to\ put\ whatever\ i\ want\ in\ my\ body,\ \nmay\ it\ be\ marijuana,\ a\ 10\ year\ olds\ childs\ semi\ erect\ penis,\ or\ cocaine.\ The\ \ngovernment\ doesn't\ have\ any\ right\ telling\ us\ what\ is\ \"ok\"\ to\ consume.\n%\nI\ asked\ my\ friend\ for\ a\ sip\ of\ his\ pepsi\ and\ he\ gave\ me\ the\ can.\ Afterward\ \nhe\ accused\ me\ of\ 'nigger\ lipping'\ his\ pepsi\ and\ refused\ to\ take\ it\ back.\ In\ \na\ rage,\ I\ filed\ a\ hate\ crime\ report\ with\ the\ NYPD\ and\ had\ his\ racist\ ass\ \nhauled\ off\ to\ juvee\ where\ I'm\ sure\ disgusting\ faggots\ are\ anally\ violating\ \nhim\ even\ as\ I\ type\ these\ words.\ I\ abhor\ bigots.\n%\nOh\ great\ another\ holiday\ for\ christians\ to\ force\ their\ believes\ on\ me.\ \nChristmas\ is\ just\ another\ day\ for\ us\ atheists,\ i'll\ be\ listening\ to\ atheist\ \nradio\ and\ maybe\ watch\ a\ little\ tv.\ I'll\ let\ the\ brainwashed\ Christians\ have\ \n\"cheer\ and\ good\ fun\".\n%\nOnce,\ when\ i\ was\ changing\ my\ little\ brother's\ diaper,\ i\ jacked\ him\ off.\ I\ \ndon't\ know\ what\ drove\ me\ to\ do\ it,\ but\ I\ did.\ now\ i\ can't\ stop\ thinking\ \nabout\ his\ little\ penis.\ I\ think\ i\ want\ him\ to\ grow\ up\ and\ fuck\ me.\n%\nHow\ could\ Sony\ betray\ me\ like\ this?!?\ I\ waited\ in\ line\ for\ three\ \nmonths--yes,\ I\ started\ the\ very\ first\ line\ for\ the\ PS3\ way\ before\ anyone\ \nelse.\ I\ endured\ the\ elements,\ the\ snide\ comments,\ and\ unemployment\ (I\ was\ \nfired\ from\ my\ job\ after\ the\ first\ week)\ because\ I\ wanted\ to\ be\ the\ very\ \nfirst\ person\ to\ play\ what\ I\ imagined\ would\ be\ the\ salvation\ to\ all\ my\ \ndearest\ dreams.\ Rumor\ had\ it\ that\ playing\ a\ videogame\ on\ the\ PS3\ would\ be\ \nlike\ injecting\ heroin\ directly\ into\ your\ eyeball.\ I\ believed\ the\ hype\ and\ \nworshipped\ Sony\ as\ my\ god.\n\nFinally,\ with\ nearly\ every\ credit\ card\ maxed\ out\ and\ two\ debt\ consolidation\ \nplans\ under\ my\ belt,\ the\ great\ day\ arrived\ and\ I\ fought\ my\ way\ into\ the\ \nstore\ to\ get\ my\ hands\ on\ this\ wonder\ console.\ Leaving\ the\ store\ I\ did\ a\ \nlittle\ victory\ dance\ and\ then\ drove\ up\ and\ down\ the\ parking\ lot\ taunting\ \nthose\ who\ did\ not\ get\ a\ PS3.\ Then\ it\ was\ off\ to\ home\ to\ play\ this\ little\ \nbeauty.\n\nI\ hooked\ everything\ up\ while\ my\ wife\ and\ children\ watched\ and\ applauded\ at\ \nmy\ direction.\ It\ was\ time\ to\ play\ the\ first\ game!\ After\ two\ hours\ I\ noticed\ \nthat\ waves\ of\ heat\ were\ pouring\ off\ the\ console,\ so\ I\ told\ my\ daughter\ to\ \nhold\ it\ up\ in\ the\ air\ in\ front\ of\ a\ fan\ while\ I\ continued\ playing,\ waiting\ \nfor\ the\ opiate-like\ ecstasy\ that\ was\ soon\ to\ overwhelm\ me\ after\ I\ shot\ to\ \ndeath\ another\ video\ game\ enemy.\ Things\ went\ fine\ for\ awhile\;\ an\ hour\ later\ \nthe\ box\ began\ whistling\ and\ my\ daughter\ complained\ that\ it\ was\ getting\ too\ \nhot\ to\ hold.\ I\ figured\ this\ was\ just\ what\ they\ called\ \"burning\ in\"\ and\ \ncontinued\ playing.\n\nThen,\ at\ the\ four\ hour\ mark,\ my\ daughter\ began\ complaining\ of\ blisters\ and\ \nwithin\ fifteen\ minutes\ the\ entire\ console\ burst\ into\ flames,\ the\ plastic\ \ncasing\ scorching\ and\ bubbling\ as\ I\ rushed\ to\ complete\ the\ level.\ But\ I\ was\ \ntoo\ late,\ and\ my\ precious\ daughter\ burned\ to\ death.\ Wracked\ with\ sadness\ at\ \nnot\ being\ able\ to\ save\ my\ game,\ I\ immediately\ called\ my\ lawyer\ to\ review\ my\ \noptions\ for\ a\ massive\ lawsuit.\n\nI\ am\ sure\ we\ all\ expected\ a\ few\ \"bugs\"\ and\ \"glitches\"\ and\ \"inconveniences\",\ \nbut\ that\ does\ not\ excuse\ Sony\ for\ selling\ what\ appears\ to\ be\ a\ blazing\ DEATH\ \nTRAP.\n\nCaveat\ emptor!\n%\nNigger?\ So\ you\ think\ you\ are\ superior\ not\ only\ because\ you're\ white!\ it's\ \nbecause\ you\ read!\ ha!\ I\ didn't\ know\ they\ were\ people\ like\ you\ in\ this\ \nwebsite,\ and\ I\ hope\ you\ learn\ more\ about\ our\ people,\ because\ I'm\ very\ \nofended\ now.\ Racism\ is\ illegal,\ you\ know?\ if\ they\ were\ enough\ technologies\ \nto\ know\ who\ is\ behind\ that\ \"anonymus\",\ no\ doubt\ you\ would\ be\ behind\ bars\ \nnow!\ Please\ respect\ others,\ even\ if\ they\ don't\ like\ reading\ like\ you\ do.\n%\nI\ m\ a\ hindu\ religious\ girl.\ I\ don't\ when\ i\ got\ the\ habit\ of\ masturbation.Now\ \ni\ feeling\ guilty.?\nI\ have\ always\ wear\ panty\ while\ doing\ it.\ use\ pillow\ to\ masturbate.I\ think\ \nsome\ white\ discharge\ is\ there\ when\ i\ do\ this.doesn't\ know\ whether\ pillow\ \nbecame\ wet\ or\ not.\ I\ have\ left\ this\ habit\ when\ i\ came\ to\ know\ that\ it\ is\ not\ \ngood.\ my\ problem\ is\ now\ i\ think\ if\ anybody\ touches\ those\ pillow\ he\ or\ she\ \nwill\ become\ impure.\ similar\ is\ the\ with\ the\ things\ whom\ i\ used\ to\ touch\ that\ \ntime.what\ to\ do.I\ m\ getting\ mad.\ how\ to\ solve\ this\ issue.I\ promise\ not\ to\ \nmasturbate\ again.\ I\ cannot\ wash\ them\ all.Plz\ HELP\ AS\ SOON\ AS\ POSSIBLE.\ mAY\ \ngOD\ BLESS\ U\ ALL\n%\na\ rabbi\ told\ me\ the\ other\ day\ the\ deffinitive\ prove\ to\ demon's\ existance.\ \nyou\ have\ to\ get\ a\ black\ female\ cat\ (daughter\ of\ a\ black\ cat),\ kill\ it\ and\ \nburn\ it.\ put\ your\ bed\ in\ the\ middle\ of\ your\ room\ so\ that\ it's\ not\ touching\ \nany\ walls,\ and\ then\ spread\ the\ ash\ in\ a\ circle\ surrounding\ it.\ sleep\ there.\ \nthe\ next\ day\ if\ you're\ still\ alive\ you\ will\ see\ the\ marks\ of\ demon's\ feet:\ \nthey'll\ look\ like\ hen\ claws.\ and\ that's\ it,\ I\ really\ talked\ to\ a\ rabbi\ \nasking\ him\ to\ prove\ his\ \ wonderful\ religion\ and\ this\ is\ the\ best\ he\ could\ \ncome\ with\ (it\ is\ written\ on\ the\ guemara\ wich\ is\ like\ the\ torah\ i\ think).\n%\nYou\ can\ spot\ a\ Nintendo\ 64\ game\ from\ a\ mile\ away.\ If\ the\ textures\ look\ like\ \nthey\ were\ photographed\ with\ a\ cell\ phone\ camera,\ copied\ to\ VHS\ tape,\ copied\ \nto\ another\ VHS\ tape,\ imported\ into\ the\ computer\ and\ saved\ as\ a\ low\ quality\ \nJPEG,\ and\ then\ the\ computer\ was\ chucked\ into\ a\ fire,\ you\ know\ you're\ playing\ \na\ Nintendo\ 64\ game.\n%\nI\ am\ sick\ to\ death\ of\ the\ ludicrous\ anti-Nintendo\ ravings\ of\ you\ pissed-off\ \ngeeks.\ Do\ you\ really\ believe\ the\ rest\ of\ us\ don't\ see\ right\ through\ your\ \nmental\ pathology?\ Your\ entire\ conosole\ philosophy\ boils\ down\ to\ this:\ \"The\ \ncool\ kids\ picked\ on\ me\ in\ high\ school,\ and\ I\ can't\ get\ over\ it.\ I\ hate\ the\ \nWii\"\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ the\ aeon\ flux\ movie\ because\ i\ never\ wanna\ see\ you\ again\n%\nIM\ SO\ SICK\ AND\ TIRED\ OF\ CHRISTIANS\ PUSHING\ THEIR\ BELIEFS\ ON\ ME,\ i\ mean\ every\ \nyear\ i\ go\ to\ buy\ something\ at\ the\ store\ and\ I\ see\ HAPPY\ HOLLIDAYS\ and\ it\ \npisses\ me\ off\ so\ muchhh\ i\ mean\ christians\ are\ everywhere\ i\ mean\ its\ like\ \nUHHGGGGG\ but\ anyway\ this\ year\ its\ gonna\ be\ different.\ i\ just\ got\ down\ \npurchasing\ my\ ANTI-god\ pin.\ im\ going\ to\ every\ place\ where\ they\ sell\ \nchristmas\ trees\ and\ all\ the\ \"happy\"\ (yeah\ more\ like\ BRAINWASHED)\ familys\ \nwill\ see\ my\ anti-god\ pin\ and\ i\ will\ silently\ protest\ this\ stupid\ holliday\ \nyeah\ go\ atheists!\n%\nTokyo\ is\ a\ great\ country.\ I\ have\ been\ there.\ Its\ provinces\ (shinagawa,\ \nshinjuku,\ roppongi)\ are\ incredibly\ vast\ and\ there\ is\ an\ inter-provincial\ \nhigh\ speed\ train\ that\ links\ them\ all!\ The\ best\ part\ is\ that\ the\ train\ also\ \nallows\ you\ to\ travel\ to\ neighboring\ countries,\ for\ example\ if\ you\ wanted\ to\ \nvisit\ the\ country\ of\ Osaka\ you\ could\ do\ so\ because\ they\ use\ the\ same\ \ncurrency.\ Amazing,\ isn't\ it?\ I\ wish\ Canada\ would\ use\ the\ same\ dollars\ that\ \nthe\ US\ does.\n%\nNow\ disguised\ fully\ as\ some\ sort\ of\ shabbily\ dressed\ derelict,\ I\ quickly\ \nmade\ off\ with\ my\ shopping\ cart\ and\ ran\ full\ tilt\ back\ to\ the\ park.\ With\ no\ \nhesitation\ I\ dug\ through\ the\ trash\ barrel\ I'd\ found\ earlier,\ seizing\ every\ \nlast\ can\ and\ bottle\ from\ the\ fetid\ depths\ of\ the\ garbage.\ I\ was\ almost\ \ndeterred\ when\ my\ hand\ plunged\ into\ a\ soiled\ diaper,\ obviously\ unimproved\ \nfrom\ the\ three\ days\ of\ rain\ we'd\ received\ prior,\ but\ I\ had\ my\ eyes\ on\ the\ \nprize.\ I\ rolled\ my\ cart\ down\ the\ paths\ of\ the\ park,\ past\ the\ lemmings\ of\ our\ \nsociety\ as\ they\ strolled\ idly\ past\ jackpot\ after\ jackpot,\ lacking\ sense\ and\ \nambition\ enough\ to\ loot\ them\ for\ their\ own\ benefit.\ Many\ of\ them\ could\ not\ \ncontain\ their\ envy,\ looking\ at\ me\ with\ disgusted\ jealousy\ as\ I\ filled\ my\ \ncart\ with\ money.\ One\ phenomenon\ I\ cannot\ explain:\ a\ Catholic\ nun\ handed\ me\ a\ \none\ dollar\ bill\ and\ told\ me\ I\ could\ get\ a\ free\ meal\ at\ St.\ Joseph's\ parish\ \nevery\ Sunday\ afternoon.\ I\ took\ the\ cash,\ obviously,\ and\ thanked\ her\ for\ the\ \ntip\ on\ the\ new\ scam.\ I\ figure\ they\ must\ make\ you\ sign\ up\ for\ some\ shit\ \nbefore\ you\ get\ the\ free\ food,\ and\ that\ the\ nun\ must\ get\ a\ kickback\ for\ every\ \nnew\ signup.\ Slick\ setup,\ but\ I'll\ just\ keep\ the\ buck,\ Sister\ Sucker!\n\nWhen\ I\ thought\ I'd\ plucked\ the\ final\ gem\ from\ this\ treasure\ chest,\ I\ slowly\ \npaced\ my\ way\ towards\ the\ most\ convenient\ road\ out\ of\ the\ park.\ I\ passed\ by\ a\ \nman\ drinking\ from\ a\ brown\ paper\ bag.\ I\ wasn't\ born\ yesterday,\ so\ I\ knew\ that\ \nhe\ had\ a\ bottle\ in\ it\ (and\ probably\ not\ Chocolate\ Yoohoo\ if\ you\ get\ my\ \ndrift).\ I\ tried\ to\ look\ very\ patient\ and\ unassuming\ while\ I\ waited\ for\ him\ \nto\ finish\ his\ bottle\ and\ discard\ it,\ so\ that\ I\ might\ add\ it\ to\ my\ coffers.\ \nAfter\ ten\ or\ so\ minutes\ he\ did\ something\ shocking\ and\ unexpected:\ he\ walked\ \ninto\ a\ nearby\ Port-A-Potty\ and\ took\ the\ bottle\ in\ with\ him.\ Seven\ minutes\ \nlater,\ exactly,\ he\ re-emerged\ without\ his\ bottle.\ The\ disgusting\ truth\ was\ \nobvious,\ he\ had\ finished\ his\ bottle\ while\ on\ the\ latrine\ and\ tossed\ the\ \nempty\ down\ into\ the\ hole.\ I\ nearly\ wrote\ that\ one\ off\ as\ a\ loss,\ but\ then\ my\ \ninner\ puppet\ spoke\ once\ again,\ chiding\ me\ for\ the\ sheer\ Hagginsian\ nature\ of\ \nmy\ hesistation.\ Suffice\ to\ say,\ I\ was\ shoulder\ deep\ in\ shit\ before\ I\ even\ \nhad\ time\ to\ regret\ my\ moment\ of\ weakness.\ Was\ the\ resulting\ bottle\ of\ Olde\ \nEnglish\ 800\ Malt\ Liquor\ worth\ the\ effort?\ You\ bet\ your\ ass,\ buddy.\n\nAlright,\ so\ even\ the\ faithful\ are\ probably\ getting\ impatient\ by\ now.\ I'm\ \nsure\ you\ want\ to\ know\ what\ my\ take\ was\ after\ all\ that\ time\ and\ effort\ and\ \nboth\ occassions\ of\ having\ a\ limb\ thrust\ into\ fecal\ matter.\ Let's\ just\ say\ \nthat\ Andrew\ Jackson\ and\ I\ have\ a\ dinner\ date\ tonight\ (though\ I'll\ only\ be\ \nneeding\ his\ vagrant\ friend\ Alexander\ Hamilton\ once\ I\ apply\ my\ coupon).\ On\ \nsecond\ thought,\ Kroger's\ has\ On-Cor\ Salisbury\ Steaks\ for\ 2.50,\ and\ I\ have\ a\ \nmanufacturer's\ coupon\ which\ I\ attained\ by\ lying\ to\ their\ customer\ care\ line.\ \nIn\ case\ you're\ wondering,\ saying\ you\ found\ a\ condom\ in\ your\ chicken\ parmesan\ \nis\ only\ worth\ a\ dollar\ off\ your\ next\ purchase.\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ a\ playground\ slide\ because\ i\ want\ to\ go\ down\ on\ you\ \nrepeatedly\n%\nHonestly,\ I'd\ like\ to\ hear\ some\ commentary\ from\ someone\ who\ hasn't\ been\ \ncaught\ trying\ to\ suck\ their\ own\ dick.\n%\nYEAH\ RIGHT\ SO\ I\ STRAIGHT\ STABBED\ SOME\ PROSTITUTE\ WITH\ A\ FORK.\ IT\ AINT\ NOTHIN\ \nTHOUGH\ NAWMEAN.\ BITCH\ ASS\ JUDGE\ HIT\ ME\ WITH\ 3\ YEARS\ OF\ PROBATION\ AND\ 80\ \nHOURS\ OF\ COMMUNITY\ SERVICE.\ 80\ HOURS?\ NIGGA\ I\ BENCHPRESS\ 80\ HOURS.\ NIGGAS\ \nTHINK\ I\ AINT\ GONNA\ WILD\ OUT\ AND\ FORK\ SOMEONE\ ELSE\ CUZ\ I'M\ ON\ PAROLE\ SO\ I'M\ \nJUST\ LAUGHIN\ YO.\ I\ LAUGH\ AT\ THESE\ ACTORS.\ FUCKIN\ P.O\ THINKING\ I\ AINT\ GON\ \nCOME\ IN\ HIGH\ AS\ SHIT\ OFF\ THE\ TREES\ JUST\ BECAUSE\ I\ GOT\ PEE\ IN\ A\ CUP.\ I\ DO\ \nTHAT\ AND\ THROW\ IT\ IN\ A\ NIGGA'S\ FACE.\ PUNK\ LOOKIN\ OFFENDED\ AND\ SHIT\ I'M\ JUST\ \nLIKE\ DAMN\ SON,\ YOU\ SHOULD\ FEEL\ BLESSED\ TO\ BE\ COVERED\ IN\ MY\ URINE.\ FAGGOT\ \nDON'T\ KNOW\ WHERE\ MY\ DICK'S\ BEEN.\ IT\ AINT\ NOTHIN\ TO\ A\ G\ LIKE\ ME\ NAWMEAN\n%\nIn\ the\ 1960s,\ a\ student\ at\ Harvard\ Law\ School\ addressed\ the\ parents\ and\ \nalumni\ with\ these\ words:\n\nThe\ streets\ of\ our\ country\ are\ in\ turmoil.\ The\ universities\ are\ filled\ with\ \nstudents\ rebelling\ and\ rioting.\ Communists\ are\ seeking\ to\ destroy\ our\ \ncountry.\ Russia\ is\ threatening\ us\ with\ her\ might.\ And\ the\ republic\ is\ in\ \ndanger.\ Yes!\ danger\ from\ within\ and\ without.\ We\ need\ law\ and\ order!\ Without\ \nlaw\ and\ order\ our\ nation\ cannot\ survive.\n\nThere\ was\ prolonged\ applause.\ When\ the\ applause\ died\ down,\ the\ student\ \nquietly\ told\ his\ listeners:\ \"These\ word\ were\ spoken\ in\ 1932\ by\ Adolf\ Hitler.\"\n%\nHmm,\ are\ you\ implying\ that\ people\ with\ long\ hair\ are\ gay?\ That's\ pretty\ \nhilarious\ if\ so,\ seeing\ as\ how\ most\ gay\ people\ have\ basic\ short\ hair.\n%\nI\ am\ a\ BIG\ FAT\ GAY\ VAMPIRE\ in\ the\ BOSTON\ AREA.\ What\ I\ am\ looking\ for\ is\ \nother\ QUEER\ VAMPIRES\ to\ be\ GAY\ with\ and\ to\ DRINK\ BLOOD\ out\ of\ foofy\ martini\ \nglasses\ and\ maybe\ to\ use\ it\ as\ ingredients\ in\ a\ cosmopolitan.\ OR\ MAYBE\ ONE\ \nOF\ THOSE\ DRINKS\ WITH\ ALL\ THE\ UMBRELLAS\ AND\ THINGS.\ Then\ we\ will\ go\ DISCO\ \nDANCING\ to\ HOT\ DISCO\ TRACKS\ and\ talk\ about\ how\ TOTALLY\ AWESOME\ Madonna\ is.\ I\ \nguess\ after\ doing\ that\ we\ will\ have\ to\ get\ a\ PLATE\ OF\ NACHOS\ or\ something\ \nEQUALLY\ FATTENING\ and\ then\ stuff\ them\ into\ our\ BIG\ FAT\ GAY\ FACES.\ The\ nachos\ \nshould\ have\ SOUR\ CREAM\ on\ them\ because\ that\ is\ the\ best\ way\ to\ eat\ them.\ I\ \nam\ looking\ for\ someone\ who\ will\ let\ me\ DRINK\ THEIR\ QUEER\ BLOOD.\ In\ addition\ \nto\ being\ QUEER\ you\ must\ also\ be\ FAT,\ this\ is\ very\ important.\ Ideally\ I\ would\ \nalso\ get\ fatter\ from\ drinking\ your\ STUPID\ CHUBBY\ GAY\ BLOOD.\ You\ can\ drink\ \nmine\ too\ but\ only\ if\ I\ get\ to\ wear\ your\ GAY\ UNDERWEAR\ on\ my\ head\ while\ you\ \ndo.\n%\nhey\ gurl\ what\ kind\ of\ sex\ locations\ you\ into?\ im\ all\ about\ the\ dorm\ \nroom/hotel\ room/dark\ corner/men's\ bathroom/janitor's\ closet/parent's\ \nbedroom/kindergarten\ classroom/bus\ shelter/deserted\ corner\ of\ the\ park/arby's\n%\nWhile\ many\ parents\ are\ digging\ deep\ and\ forgoing\ luxuries\ in\ order\ to\ buy\ \ntheir\ children\ the\ newest\ videogame\ console,\ I've\ decided\ to\ build\ my\ own\ \ninteractive\ entertainment\ device\ for\ my\ children.\ It's\ a\ desk\ with\ a\ copy\ of\ \nthe\ holy\ bible\ on\ it.\ I\ call\ it\ the\ \"Praystation\ 3\"\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ a\ rodeo\ bull\ because\ i\ want\ to\ ride\ you\ for\ 8\ seconds\ and\ \nthen\ get\ off\n%\nKeep\ at\ it!\ I'm\ sure\ someday\ you'll\ be\ mentioned\ in\ a\ blog.\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ rearden\ metal\ because\ i'd\ like\ to\ run\ a\ train\ on\ you.\n%\nwindows\ genuine\ advantage,\ created\ so\ geeks\ have\ a\ genuine\ advantage\ when\ it\ \ncomes\ to\ getting\ in\ a\ womans\ pants.\ \ Masterminded\ by\ Bill\ Gates\ who\ wanted\ \nto\ give\ something\ back\ to\ the\ community.\ \ He\ devised\ a\ plot\ which\ would\ \nforce\ women\ to\ speak\ to\ lowly\ geeks\ world\ wide\n%\nshut\ the\ fuk\ up\ bitch\ u\ get\ a\ lyf\ dumass\ ur\ a\ fkn\ hipacrit\ u\ sed\ to\ keep\ \nshyt\ to\ urself\ well\ u\ didnt\ do\ that\ n\ ur\ lyk\ aw\ get\ over\ it\ well\ u\ fkn\ get\ \nover\ it\ 2\ then\ dont\ go\ fkn\ ritin\ shyt\ lyk\ u\ sed\ fkn\ looza\n%\nI\ admit,\ I\ love\ the\ natural\ smells\ of\ a\ man.\ Nothing\ turns\ me\ on\ more.\ A\ \nhealthy\ funk\ in\ a\ mans\ armpit\ or\ a\ working-mans\ sweaty\ balls\ are\ like\ \nnothing\ else\ to\ me.\ They\ are\ easily\ more\ effective\ than\ poppers,\ legal\ and\ \ndont\ give\ me\ a\ headache.\ Speaking\ of\ armpits,\ I\ dont\ like\ deodorant\ either,\ \nmostly\ because\ it\ tastes\ so\ terrible.\n%\nWhen\ I\ was\ in\ 7th\ grade\ my\ Social\ Studies\ teacher\ asked\ me\ what\ my\ favorite\ \nsystem\ of\ government\ was.\ Luckily\ I\ was\ wearing\ my\ Anti-Flag\ tee\ that\ day.\ I\ \ncracked\ my\ knuckles\ and\ reclined\ in\ my\ desk\ and\ replied\ cooly,\ \"Anarchy.\"\n%\nLinux\ Is\ your\ wife,\ I\ swear.\ I\ stride\ nude\ in\ your\ computer\ room\ \;\ yet\ you\ \ndont\ care.\ Transfixed\ with\ penguins\ on\ the\ screen.\ This\ Open\ Source\ makes\ me\ \nscream.\ Im\ tossing\ your\ computer\ in\ the\ trash.\ RMS\ is\ whose\ genitals\ you\ \ntongue\ lash.\ Enemy\ of\ Our\ Freedom\ you\ say?\ I\ dont\ care.\ You're\ just\ gay.\n%\nYes\ I\ too\ fell\ victim\ to\ internet\ cruelty.\ Only\ in\ my\ case\ it\ was\ IRC\ abuse.\ \nTo\ make\ a\ long\ story\ short\ I\ was\ willing\ to\ do\ anything\ to\ get\ +V\ and\ some\ \n'people'\ took\ advantage\ of\ that.\n%\nRoll\ Playing\ (RP)\ turns\ into\ real\ life\ tragedies\ and\ Real\ people\ get\ hurt\ or\ \ndie.\ If\ you\ want\ to\ RP\ why\ not\ try\ to\ Roll\ Play\ real\ life\ situations\ such\ as\ \nhow\ to\ pay\ the\ electric\ bill,\ house\ payment,\ and\ car\ payment,\ insurance\ and\ \nso\ on.\ Roll\ Play\ your\ parents\ working\ hard\ to\ give\ you\ a\ better\ education\ \nand\ life.\n%\nYesterday\ after\ coming\ home\ from\ an\ extremely\ long,\ stressful\ day\ of\ work,\ I\ \nplopped\ down\ on\ the\ couch\ to\ relax\ for\ a\ bit.\ Laying\ in\ front\ of\ the\ TV\ is\ \ngreat,\ but\ an\ orgasm\ would\ really\ help\ me\ blow\ off\ some\ steam.\ Lucky\ for\ me,\ \nI\ had\ recently\ purchased\ a\ rabbit,\ so\ I\ retrieved\ that\ from\ my\ bedroom,\ \nreturned\ to\ the\ couch,\ and\ brought\ up\ some\ gay\ porn\ on\ my\ laptop(side\ rant--\ \nwill\ someone\ please\ make\ porn\ tailored\ to\ women?)\ Just\ as\ I\ was\ beginning\ to\ \nget\ that\ tingling\ feeling\ that\ happens\ before\ I\ come,\ I\ heard\ the\ sound\ of\ \nsomeone\ trying\ to\ unlock\ the\ door\ to\ my\ apartment.\ WHATTHEFUCKISTHIS!?\ Shit!\ \nI\ am\ naked\ from\ the\ waist\ down\ holding\ a\ loud-ass\ vibrator\ standing\ in\ front\ \nof\ a\ laptop\ on\ which\ a\ man\ is\ moaning\ loudly\ and\ telling\ another\ man\ how\ he\ \nwants\ him\ to\ \"put\ it\ in\ my\ ass!\"\ SHIT!\ WHO\ THE\ FUCK\ IS\ COMING\ IN\ THE\ DOOR\ \nRIGHT\ NOW?\n\nI\ completely\ panic.\ My\ shaking\ hands\ try\ desperately\ to\ turn\ the\ vibrator\ \noff,\ but\ in\ my\ excited\ state\ I\ completely\ forget\ how\ to\ do\ it..there\ are\ so\ \nmany\ buttons!!\ why\ did\ I\ buy\ the\ fancy\ model???\ I\ rip\ the\ batteries\ out\ of\ \nthe\ stupid\ thing\ after\ fumbling\ with\ it\ and\ wasting\ precious\ seconds.\ I\ \nthrow\ everything\ in\ the\ closet\ of\ my\ bedroom,\ close\ the\ door,\ and\ start\ to\ \nlook\ for\ some\ pants.\ Then\ I\ remember\ that\ gay\ porn\ is\ still\ being\ played\ \nloudly\ on\ my\ couch.\ FUCK!\ FUCK!\ FUCK!\ I\ could\ hear\ the\ sound\ of\ the\ second\ \nlock\ unlocking.\ I\ dash\ back\ into\ the\ livingroom\ and\ try\ with\ my\ again\ \nshaking\ hands\ to\ at\ least\ turn\ the\ volume\ down.\ The\ door\ is\ opening\ at\ this\ \npoint\ so\ I\ snatch\ the\ laptop\ and\ scurry\ half-nakedly\ back\ to\ my\ bedroom\ \nwhile\ depressing\ the\ volume\ button.\ Unfortuately,\ I\ hit\ the\ wrong\ side\ of\ \nthe\ volume\ button\ and\ deafeningly\ loud\ moans\ are\ now\ emanating\ from\ my\ \nbedroom--gay\ men\ moans.\ Shit!\ People\ are\ in\ my\ living\ room\ now.\ I\ yell\ \"ONE\ \nMOMENT!!!!\"\ as\ loud\ as\ I\ can,\ trying\ to\ try\ to\ drown\ the\ sounds\ of\ Brad\ \ngetting\ slammed\ in\ the\ ass.\ In\ a\ complete\ state\ of\ terror\ I\ make\ the\ unwise\ \ndecision\ of\ throwing\ the\ laptop\ as\ far\ under\ my\ bed\ as\ I\ can,\ hoping\ that\ \nthe\ boxspring\ and\ mattress\ would\ be\ enough\ to\ muffle\ the\ sound\ of\ my\ laptop\ \nat\ full\ volume.\ Sadly,\ it\ was\ not.\ People\ are\ milling\ about\ in\ the\ apartment\ \nnow,\ so\ I\ grab\ some\ shorts\ from\ my\ bureau\ and\ emerge\ from\ my\ bedroom\ to\ \ngreet\ the\ realtor\ and\ prospective\ new\ tenants\ in\ a\ dress\ shirt\ and\ shorts,\ \nflushed,\ and\ visibly\ shaken.\ I\ introduce\ myself\ over\ the\ sounds\ of\ an\ \napparent\ orgy\ in\ my\ bedroom\ to\ a\ profusely\ apologizing\ realtor\ and\ a\ \nsmirking\ couple.\ I\ summoned\ as\ much\ dignity\ as\ I\ could,\ smiled\ devilishly,\ \nand\ returned\ to\ the\ fake\ orgy\ in\ my\ bedroom\ as\ they\ showed\ themselves\ out.\n%\nI\ like\ to\ put\ excessively\ large\ ammounts\ of\ Vaseline\ on\ my\ cock\ and\ fuck\ \nempty\ toilet\ paper\ rolls.\ I\ think\ my\ parents\ are\ starting\ to\ notice\ that\ \nwe're\ running\ out\ of\ Vaseline\ every\ 4\ days\ or\ so.\n%\nOne\ time\ I\ was\ performing\ anal\ sex\ on\ my\ best\ friends\ dog\ like\ I\ always\ did\ \non\ the\ weekends,\ but\ this\ most\ recent\ time\ I\ must\ of\ thrusted\ too\ hard\ and\ I\ \nthink\ I\ damaged\ the\ internals\ of\ the\ labrador.\ It\ then\ got\ a\ horrible\ hernia\ \nand\ soon\ died\ after\ my\ friend\ was\ attempting\ to\ coax\ it\ back\ to\ life.\ It\ \nfelt\ great.\n%\ni\ just\ took\ a\ shit\ and\ my\ toilet\ didn't\ really\ flush,\ i\ got\ pretty\ \nfrustrated\ and\ now\ im\ going\ to\ masturbate\ to\ internet\ porn\ galleries.\ Good\ \nday\ to\ you.\n%\nI\ bought\ this\ book\ to\ teach\ my\ child\ about\ her\ body,\ and\ I\ was\ excited\ about\ \nthe\ opportunity\ to\ bond\ with\ her\ in\ this\ fashion.\ However,\ little\ did\ I\ know\ \nabout\ all\ of\ the\ pictures\ of\ nude\ women\ in\ this\ book.\ The\ almost\ 'erotic'\ \nquality\ of\ these\ photos\ were\ not\ for\ children!\ Then\ when\ we\ got\ to\ the\ parts\ \nthat\ involved\ naked\ men,\ I\ shut\ the\ book.\ She\ didn't\ need\ to\ see\ those\ \npictures.\ Later,\ when\ she\ was\ asleep\ -\ I\ looked\ at\ the\ book\ alone\ and\ found\ \nunbelievable\ pictures\ of\ naked\ men\ and\ women\ performing\ the\ strangest\ acts\ \non\ each\ other\ with\ pieces\ of\ fruit\ and\ a\ vacuum\ cleaner!\ What\ is\ my\ child\ \ngoing\ to\ learn\ from\ this?\ How\ to\ be\ a\ Kuma\ Sutra\ expert?\ No,\ thanks.\ She\ \ngets\ plenty\ of\ that\ from\ her\ father.\n%\nyou\ walk\ in(\ the\ door\ will\ be\ open\ for\ you)\ you\ come\ to\ my\ bedrom\ where\ porn\ \nwill\ be\ playing.......you\ begin\ to\ suck\ this\ big\ black\ dick...no\ damn\ small\ \ntalk...just\ walk\ in\ and\ start\ sucking........i\ cum\ on\ your\ face\ and\ then\ you\ \ncan\ leave\ or\ then\ when\ can\ have\ small\ talk.....be\ ready.....i\ dont\ want\ a\ \nlot\ of\ emails\ back\ and\ forth..just\ let\ me\ know\ if\ your\ ready\ for\ a\ \naddress.....\n%\ngurl\ what\ design\ patterns\ u\ into?\ \ i'm\ into:\ \ bridge\ /\ command\ /\ interpreter\ \n/\ prototype\ /\ flyweight\ /\ strategy\ /\ builder\ /\ abstract\ factory\ /\ proxy\ /\ \nfacade\ /\ composite\ /\ chain\ of\ responsibility\ /\ decorator\ /\ adapter\ /\ factory\ \nmethod\ /\ observer\ /\ memento\ /\ template\ method\ /\ visitor\ /\ iterator\ /\ \nmediator\ /\ state\ /\ singleton\n%\ni\ keep\ baking\ fucking\ cakes.\ \ this\ pink\ wig\ tart\ keeps\ me\ up\ nights\ and\ \nsince\ i\ can't\ jack\ off\ any\ more\ since\ the\ operation\ i\ just\ keep\ fucking\ \nmaking\ cakes.\ \ everyone\ at\ the\ office\ thinks\ that\ i'm\ some\ sort\ of\ faggot\ \nbecuase\ i\ bring\ in\ cakes\ every\ day.\ they're\ all\ fat\ forty-five\ year\ old\ \ntits-sagging-to-the-floor\ soccer\ moms\ and\ if\ they\ knew\ that\ cake-baking\ was\ \nmy\ masturbatory\ substitute\ they\ probably\ wouldn't\ even\ eat\ them.\ \ probably\ \nalso\ if\ they\ knew\ i\ pissed\ in\ the\ cake\ mix.\n%\ndid\ you\ guys\ hear\ on\ the\ news?\ usually\ i\ don't\ watch\ the\ news,\ i\ just\ heard\ \nmy\ friend's\ brother\ freaking\ out\ about\ it.\ it's\ on\ right\ now.\ North\ Korea\ \nshot\ a\ three\ missiles\ at\ Japan,\ but\ MISSED!!\ XD\ what\ would\ happen\ if\ they\ \ndidn't\ miss??\ one\ of\ them\ was\ aimed\ for\ America,\ too.\ It's\ on\ Fox\ News\ right\ \nnow.\ THey're\ talking\ about\ shooting\ back\ at\ Korea.\ STUPID\ KOREA!\ dude,\ \nmanhwa\ vs\ manga.\ XD\ awesome.\nwhat\ if\ they\ actually\ didn't\ miss??\ what\ would\ happen\ to\ everyone's\ favorite\ \nmangas\ and\ animes.\ i\ pray\ to\ God\ this\ isn't\ the\ end\ of\ humanity.\ Wait,\ i\ \ndon't\ care\ if\ humanity\ ends.\ Humanity\ sucks.\ I\ just\ don't\ want\ JAPAN\ TO\ END!\ \nor\ the\ world.\ i\ haven't\ even\ had\ a\ chance\ to\ glomp\ Inuyasha.\ I\ DON'T\ HAVE\ \nPROBLEMS!!!!\ :ninja:\n%\nThe\ first\ step\ is\ to\ heat\ 3\ or\ 4\ hot\ dogs\ to\ body\ temperature.\ Don't\ make\ \nthem\ too\ hot\ or\ it\ won't\ work\ --\ about\ 30\ seconds\ will\ do.\ When\ they're\ \ndone,\ stick\ all\ the\ hot\ dogs\ into\ a\ condom.\ Lube\ your\ penis\ and\ slide\ it\ \ninto\ the\ middle\ of\ the\ hot\ dogs,\ so\ they're\ surrounding\ your\ penis.\ Then\ \npump\ the\ entire\ package.\ And\ don't\ worry,\ the\ condom\ won't\ break.\n%\nHey\ /b/,\ I\ have\ a\ very\ serious\ problem.\ I'm\ fucking\ crying\ because\ of\ how\ \nstupid\ I\ am.\n\nOkay,\ so\ my\ girlfriend\ was\ supposed\ to\ come\ over\ to\ my\ house\ today\ because\ I\ \nwas\ going\ to\ go\ take\ her\ to\ a\ movie.\ She\ lives\ about\ 20\ minutes\ away,\ and\ \nthe\ movie\ we\ were\ supposed\ to\ see\ started\ at\ 4:15,\ which\ was\ in\ about\ 40\ \nminutes.\ I\ figured\ \"cool,\ I'll\ just\ play\ Pokemon\ while\ I\ wait\".\n\nSo\ I'm\ playing\ Pokemon,\ and\ having\ a\ pretty\ damn\ good\ time.\ Anyway,\ she\ \nfinally\ does\ show\ up,\ except\ she's\ crying\ as\ she\ walks\ into\ my\ room.\ Instead\ \nof\ doing\ the\ right\ thing\ by\ comforting\ her,\ I\ half-focus\ on\ my\ game\ and\ her.\ \nShe\ starts\ telling\ me\ her\ cat\ died,\ and\ just\ as\ she\ was\ getting\ into\ it,\ I\ \nget\ into\ a\ random\ encounter\ in\ my\ game.\n\nA\ shiny\ pidgey.\ Holy\ shit.\ (For\ those\ of\ you\ who\ don't\ know/care,\ shiny\ \npokemon\ have\ less\ than\ a\ 1/1000\ chance\ of\ appearing).\ I\ stare\ into\ my\ screen\ \nin\ amazement,\ yelling\ \"holy\ shit,\ YES\",\ interrupting\ her\ mid-story.\ She\ sobs\ \nmore,\ and\ she\ starts\ to\ yell\ \"You\ don't\ even\ fucking\ care!\ YOU\ JUST\ WANT\ TO\ \nPLAY\ YOUR\ FUCKING\ GAME!\"\ I'm\ still\ looking\ at\ my\ screen,\ still\ focusing\ on\ \ncatching\ my\ shiny\ pidgey,\ when\ she\ walks\ over,\ and\ tosses\ the\ game\ against\ \nthe\ wall.\ I\ run\ over\ and\ pick\ up\ my\ DS\ hoping\ that\ nothing\ has\ changed\ on\ \nscreen,\ and\ quickly\ noticed\ that\ she\ broke\ it.\ My\ system\ and\ my\ shiny\ \npidgey,\ gone\ forever.\n\nI\ start\ screaming\ every\ obsenity\ I\ know,\ and\ started\ flailing\ my\ arms\ \naround.\ I\ didn't\ know\ she\ was\ behind\ me,\ and\ appearantly\ I\ backhanded\ her\ in\ \nthe\ face\ while\ I\ was\ being\ a\ dumbass\ and\ swinging\ my\ fists\ around.\ She\ yells\ \nout\ \"FUCK\ YOU\",\ and\ runs\ out\ of\ my\ house\ in\ tears.\n\nWhat\ have\ I\ done?\ I've\ fucked\ up\ so\ badly,\ and\ I\ need\ to\ know\ how\ to\ \napproach\ her.\ I\ don't\ want\ a\ game\ of\ Pokemon\ to\ be\ respoinsible\ for\ ruining\ \nmy\ best\ relationship\ ever.\ Help\ me\ /b/.\n%\nOver\ the\ years,\ the\ bathrooms\ at\ the\ Church\ have\ fallen\ into\ ill\ repair\ and\ \nwe\ decided\ to\ completely\ replace\ them\ with\ more\ conveniently\ located\ \nbathrooms\ across\ the\ Church.\ \ To\ make\ a\ use\ for\ our\ old\ bathrooms,\ I've\ \ndecided\ to\ convert\ them\ into\ novel\ \"Glory\ holes\",\ where\ children\ may\ \ncelebrate\ the\ Glory\ of\ God\ by\ speaking\ to\ a\ priest\ or\ other\ spiritual\ \nadvisor\ through\ a\ hole\ in\ the\ wall.\n%\nWell,\ it\ finally\ happened.\ Women\ got\ as\ horny\ as\ us.\ All\ it\ took\ was\ five\ \nyears\ of\ dry\ humping\ in\ high\ school,\ one\ or\ two\ boyfriends\ in\ college,\ a\ \nfailed\ career,\ three\ giant\ kids,\ and\ a\ divorce.\ Now\ they?re\ so\ horny\ they?re\ \nwilling\ to\ pay\ for\ it.\ Nice\ timing,\ God.\n%\nFUBU\ BIG\ CHAINZ\ DUBZ\ \$BLING\$\ \$BLING\$\ FUCK\ DA\ 5-0\ BITCHES\ BLUNTS\ 40Z\ KICIKIN\ \nIT\ BLUNTED\ JARNELL\ BABY\ MAMMA\ CHILD\ SUPPORT\ CHICKEN\ AN\ WATERMELON\ KOOL\ AID\ \nDA\ RED\ KIND\ FOOD\ STAMPS\ WESTSIDE\ \$\$CASH\ MONIES\$\$\ DRIVE\ BY\ RYDE\ OR\ DIE\ NIGGA\ \nRUFF\ RYDA\ 4\ LYFE\ PHAT\ ICE\ PHAT\ BLUNT\ DENZEL\ WASHINGTON\ ROCAWEAR\ ICE\ BLING\ \nBLING\ 5-0\ 187\ MURDA\ MURDA\ FOOD\ STAMPS\ BLUNTS\ PAPERZ\ BLAZED\ WELFARE\ CHITLINS\ \nGRITS\ KOOL\ AID\ HOLLA\ BACK\ FUCK\ DA\ POLICE\ ROLLIN\ IN\ DA\ BENZ-O\n%\nSometims\ when\ I\ feel\ an\ unusually\ large\ bowel\ movement\ coming\ soon,\ I'll\ \nweigh\ myself\ before\ and\ after\ to\ determine\ the\ magnitude\ of\ the\ feces\ I'm\ \nshedding\n%\nI\ like\ fucking\ pregnant\ women.\ If\ they�re\ having\ a\ boy\ it\ ain�t\ fun,\ but\ if\ \nthey\ have\ a\ girl\ then\ it�s\ two\ pussies\ for\ the\ price\ of\ one.\n%\nI\ have\ put\ you\ on\ a\ permanent\ ignore,\ public\ and\ private.\ I\ have\ found\ you\ \ndisturbing,\ rude\ and\ generally\ not\ worth\ talking\ to.\ According\ to\ the\ \nchannels\ you\ hang\ on,\ it\ strengtens\ the\ effect\ of\ wanting\ to\ put\ you\ on\ \nignore\ because\ of\ my\ lack\ of\ interest\ in\ you\ as\ a\ person.\ This\ message\ is\ \nnot\ meant\ to\ be\ rude\ to\ you,\ just\ to\ inform\ you\ that\ i\ won't\ see\ anything\ of\ \nwhat\ you\ type\ from\ now\ on.\n%\none\ time\ i\ found\ a\ bum\ passed\ out.\ i\ thought\ it\ would\ be\ one\ hell\ of\ a\ gag\ \nto\ take\ him\ and\ put\ him\ in\ my\ roomates\ bed\ with\ him\ so\ i\ did.\ he\ woke\ up\ to\ \nthe\ shock\ of\ a\ naked\ bum\ and\ couldnt\ stand\ the\ thought\ of\ what\ might\ have\ \nhappend\ that\ night.\ he\ then\ killed\ himself\ before\ i\ could\ enjoy\ my\ little\ \npractical\ joke\n%\nShe's\ so\ fucking\ cute\ and\ sweet.\ I'd\ treat\ her\ to\ some\ fancy\ restaurant,\ \nthen\ take\ a\ long\ romantic\ walk\ with\ her,\ holding\ hands\ and\ talking\ about\ \nphilosophy,\ art\ and\ dreams.\ Then\ I'd\ invite\ her\ to\ my\ home\ and\ ravage\ her\ \nhot\ ass\ for\ hours,\ and\ forcing\ my\ cock\ down\ her\ throat\ so\ she\ choked\ on\ both\ \nthe\ throbbing\ cock\ and\ her\ own\ rectal\ juice.\ I'd\ then\ proceed\ to\ cum\ on\ her\ \ncute\ innocent\ face.\ Then,\ as\ the\ ultimate\ love\ gift,\ I'd\ carry\ her\ in\ my\ \narms\ to\ the\ tub\ and\ let\ my\ piss\ wash\ away\ the\ semen\ and\ last\ dignity\ from\ \nher.\ I'd\ whisper\ \"I\ love\ you\"\ and\ give\ her\ a\ tender\ smile,\ and\ cut\ her\ \nthroat\ from\ ear\ to\ ear\ with\ a\ knife.\ Covered\ in\ her\ own\ warm\ blood,\ she'd\ \nlook\ straight\ into\ my\ very\ soul,\ forgiving,\ understanding.\ A\ bubble\ from\ \nblood\ and\ saliva\ would\ burst\ between\ her\ lips,\ then\ she'd\ die.\ After\ some\ \nadditional\ lovemaking,\ I'd\ stuff\ her\ in\ a\ bin\ bag.\ Three\ Weeks\ later,\ some\ \nplaying\ children\ will\ find\ her\ mutilated\ and\ desecrated\ body\ in\ the\ forest.\ \nThey\ will\ be\ scarred\ for\ life.\n%\nI\ thought\ gmail\ was,\ like,\ gangsta\ mail.\ I\ signed\ up\ expecting\ to\ get\ g'd\ up\ \nwith\ bitches,\ gangstas\ and\ guns\ but\ it's\ just\ an\ email\ service.\n%\nhey\ girl,\ what\ kind\ of\ religions\ you\ into,\ i\\\;m\ all\ about\ Judaism,\ \nContemporary\ divisions,\ Rabbinic\ Judaism,\ Orthodox\ Judaism,\ Modern\ Orthodox\ \nJudaism,\ Haredi\ Judaism,\ Hassidic\ Judaism,\ Conservative\ Judaism\ (Masorti),\ \nReform\ Judaism,\ Reconstructionist\ Judaism,\ Humanistic\ Judaism,\ Karaite\ \nJudaism,\ Historical\ groups,\ Hasmoneans,\ Essenes,\ Pharisees,\ Sadducees,\ \nZealots,\ Sicarii,\ Ebionites,\ Elkasites,\ Nazarenes,\ Crypto-Jews,\ Marranos,\ \nConversos,\ Christianity,\ Eastern\ Orthodoxy,\ Roman\ Catholicism,\ Oriental\ \nOrthodoxy,\ Monophysitism,\ Nestorianism,\ Arianists,\ Arian\ Catholicism,\ \nUnitarians,\ Protestantism,\ High\ Protestantism,\ Lutherans,\ Anglicans,\ \nCalvinist\ sects,\ Reformed,\ Presbyterian,\ Low\ Protestantism,\ Methodists,\ \nBaptists,\ Radical\ Low\ Protestantism,\ Anabaptists,\ Mennonites,\ Amish,\ \nReligious\ Society\ of\ Friends,\ Evangelicalism,\ Pentecostals,\ Apostolic\ \nChurches,\ Unitarians,\ Waldensians,\ Latter-day\ Saints,\ Church\ of\ Jesus\ Christ\ \nof\ Latter-day\ Saints,\ Community\ of\ Christ,\ Fundamentalist\ Church\ of\ Jesus\ \nChrist\ of\ Latter\ Day\ Saints,\ Seventh-day\ Adventist,\ Jehovah's\ Witnesses,\ \nMama\ Tata,\ Messianic\ Judaism,\ Islam,\ Kharijites,\ Shiite,\ Alawites,\ Ismailis,\ \nJafari,\ Zaiddiyah,\ Ghulat\ including,\ Alevi\ /\ Bektashi,\ Ahl-e\ Haqq,\ Yazidi,\ \nDruze,\ Ahmadi,\ Sunni,\ Berailvi,\ Deobandi,\ Hanafi,\ Hanbali,\ Maliki,\ \nMu'tazili,\ Shafi'i,\ Wahhabi,\ Sufism,\ Naqshbandi,\ Bektashi,\ Chishti,\ Mevlevi,\ \nTijani,\ Zikri,\ Mandaeanists,\ Hinduism,\ Agama\ Hindu\ Dharma,\ Shaivism,\ \nShaktism,\ Smartism,\ Vaishnavism,\ Lingayatism,\ Gaudiya\ Vaishnavism,\ ISKCON\ \n(Hare\ Krishna),\ Sri\ Krishna\ Chaitanya\ Mission,\ Samkhya,\ Nyaya,\ Vaisheshika,\ \nPurva\ mimamsa,\ Vedanta\ (Uttar\ Mimamsa),\ Dvaita\ Vedanta,\ Advaita\ Vedanta,\ \nIntegral\ Yoga,\ Yoga,\ Ashtanga\ Yoga,\ Hatha\ yoga,\ Siddha\ Yoga,\ Tantric\ Yoga,\ \nAyyavazhi,\ Shramana\ Religions,\ Buddhism,\ Mahayana,\ Nikaya\ schools,\ \nTheravada,\ Vajrayana,\ Jainism,\ Digambara,\ Shvetambara,\ Panth\ Religions,\ \nSikhism,\ Nirankari,\ Kabir\ Panth,\ Dadu\ Panth,\ Zoroastrianism,\ Magus,\ \nGnosticism,\ Basilidians,\ Bogomils,\ Borborites,\ Cainites,\ Carpocratians,\ \nCathars,\ Marcionism,\ Ophites,\ Valentinians,\ Hermeticism,\ Vaishnavism,\ \nAfrican\ religions,\ Akamba\ mythology,\ Akan\ mythology,\ Ashanti\ mythology,\ \nBushongo\ mythology,\ Bwiti,\ Dahomey\ mythology,\ Dinka\ mythology,\ Efik\ \nmythology,\ Egyptian\ mythology,\ Ibo\ mythology,\ Isoko\ mythology,\ Khoikhoi\ \nmythology,\ Lotuko\ mythology,\ Lugbara\ mythology,\ Pygmy\ mythology,\ Tumbuka\ \nmythology,\ Yoruba\ mythology,\ Zulu\ mythology,\ African\ diaspora\ religions,\ \nKumina,\ Obeah,\ Santería\ (Lukumi),\ Vodou,\ Candomblé,\ Macumba,\ Umbanda\ and\ \nQuimbanda,\ Xango,\ Anglo-Saxon\ mythology,\ Basque\ mythology,\ Druidry\ (Celtic\ \nReligion),\ Finnish\ mythology,\ Germanic\ paganism,\ Norse\ mythology,\ Greek\ \nreligion,\ Greek\ mythology,\ Mystery\ religions,\ Eleusinian\ Mysteries,\ \nMithraism,\ Pythagoreanism,\ Roman\ religion,\ Roman\ mythology,\ Slavic\ \nmythology,\ Babylonian\ mythology,\ Chaldean\ mythology,\ Sumerian\ mythology,\ \nChinese\ mythology,\ Shinto,\ Oomoto,\ Tengriism,\ Yezidis,\ Abenaki\ mythology,\ \nAztec\ mythology,\ Blackfoot\ mythology,\ Chippewa\ mythology,\ Creek\ mythology,\ \nCrow\ mythology,\ Guarani\ mythology,\ Haida\ mythology,\ Ho-Chunk\ mythology,\ \nHuron\ mythology,\ Inuit\ mythology,\ Iroquois\ mythology,\ Kwakiutl\ mythology,\ \nLakota\ mythology,\ Lenape\ mythology,\ Navaho\ mythology,\ Nootka\ mythology,\ \nPawnee\ mythology,\ Salish\ mythology,\ Selk'nam\ religion,\ Seneca\ mythology,\ \nTsimshian\ mythology,\ Ute\ mythology,\ Zuni\ mythology,\ Australian\ Aboriginal\ \nmythology,\ Balinese\ mythology,\ Maori\ mythology,\ Modekngei\ (Republic\ of\ \nPalau),\ Nauruan\ indigenous\ religion,\ Polynesian\ mythology,\ Church\ of\ All\ \nWorlds,\ Dievturiba,\ Germanic\ neopaganism,\ Heathenry,\ Odinism,\ Theodism,\ \nWotanism,\ Judeo-Paganism,\ Maausk,\ Neo-druidism,\ Summum,\ Taarausk,\ Wicca,\ \nAlexandrian\ Wicca,\ Dianic\ Wicca\ (Feminist\ Wicca),\ Gardnerian\ Wicca,\ Faery\ \nWicca,\ Feri\ Tradition,\ Carvaka,\ Confucianism,\ Deism,\ Ethical\ Culture,\ \nFellowship\ of\ Reason,\ Spiritual\ Humanism,\ Mohism,\ Taoism,\ Dragon\ Rouge,\ \nSatanism,\ LaVeyan\ Satanism,\ Church\ of\ Satan,\ Order\ of\ Nine\ Angles,\ \nSetianism,\ Temple\ of\ Set,\ The\ Storm,\ Quimbanda,\ Luciferianism,\ Syncretic\ \nreligions,\ Cao\ Dai,\ Falun\ Dafa,\ Huna,\ Konkokyo,\ Manichaeism,\ Unitarian\ \nUniversalism,\ Universal\ Life\ Church,\ Tenrikyo,\ Theosophy,\ Seicho-No-Ie,\ \nBurkhanism,\ Cargo\ cults,\ Ghost\ Dance,\ Native\ American\ Church,\ Rastafari\ \nmovement,\ Umbanda,\ Candomble,\ Pastafarianism,\ Church\ of\ Emacs,\ Polytheism,\ \nMysticism,\ Atheism,\ \ you\ know\n%\nThe\ relationship\ between\ gamer\ and\ game\ is\ much\ unlike\ the\ relationship\ \nbetween\ needle\ and\ record-groove\ (that\ is\ to\ say,\ the\ needle\ loves\ the\ \nrecord\ groove\ and\ vice-versa,\ so\ says\ Tamio\ Okuda)\;\ the\ game\ has\ to\ love\ the\ \nplayer\ even\ when\ the\ player\ hates\ the\ game.\n%\nim\ from\ louisiana.drank\ killed\ my\ boyfriend\ sippin\ isnt\ for\ everyone\ so\ be\ \ncareful\n%\nLAWL\ I\ ONCE\ HEARD\ AN\ AOL\ COMMERCIAL\ THAT\ SAID\ \"AOL\ IS\ GOOD\"\ AND\ I\ LAUGHED\ MY\ \nASS\ OFF\ AND\ I\ LITERALLY\ PISSED\ AND\ SHAT\ MY\ PANTS\ SIMULTANEOUSLY\ AND\ THEN\ I\ \nTHREW\ UP\ IN\ MY\ MOUTH\ A\ LITTLE\ AND\ IT\ WAS\ THE\ FUNNIEST\ THING\ I\ HAVE\ EVER\ \nHEARD\ OH\ MY\ GOD\ THAT\ WAS\ FUNNY\n%\none\ time\ i\ invited\ two\ of\ my\ friends\ (well,\ my\ only\ two\ friends)\ over\ for\ \ndinner\ at\ my\ apartment.\ i\ was\ in\ a\ bad\ mood\ that\ day\ and\ while\ they\ were\ in\ \nthe\ living\ room\ playing\ sword\ quest\ 4,\ i\ masturbated\ into\ the\ milk\ in\ the\ \nmeasuring\ cup\ before\ making\ the\ mashed\ potatoes.\ all\ three\ of\ us\ enjoyed\ the\ \nmeal,\ myself\ doubly\ so...\ in\ part\ because\ i\ secretly\ knew\ my\ friends\ now\ \nhave\ my\ seed\ in\ them,\ and\ also\ in\ part\ because\ i\ ate\ the\ mashed\ potatoes\ too\ \nand\ the\ thought\ of\ consuming\ my\ own\ seed\ makes\ me\ want\ to\ masturbate\ into\ \nmore\ food.\ i\ fear\ i\ am\ in\ a\ vicious\ cycle\ at\ this\ point.\ someone\ help\ me?\ \nplease?\n%\nDEAR\ ABBY:\ I\ recently\ met\ a\ gorgeous\ woman\ I'll\ call\ \"Giselle.\"\ After\ we\ had\ \ndated\ for\ a\ couple\ of\ months\ and\ became\ physically\ involved,\ she\ told\ me\ she\ \nhad\ had\ gender\ reassignment\ surgery\ and\ used\ to\ be\ a\ man!\ I\ was,\ to\ say\ the\ \nleast,\ shocked\ and\ deeply\ disturbed.\ I\ did\ not\ punch\ out\ Giselle\ as\ I\ would\ \nhave\ liked\ to\ --\ which\ brings\ me\ to\ my\ question.\ What\ is\ the\ etiquette\ \nregarding\ physically\ confronting\ someone\ like\ that?\ Is\ it\ the\ same\ as\ \nhitting\ a\ girl?\ We're\ roughly\ the\ same\ size.\ --\ DISTRESSED\ IN\ VIRGINIA\n%\nI\ have\ neither\ the\ time\ nor\ the\ inclination\ to\ explain\ myself\ to\ a\ man\ who\ \nrises\ and\ sleeps\ under\ the\ blanket\ of\ the\ very\ freedom\ I\ provide,\ then\ \nquestions\ the\ manner\ in\ which\ I\ provide\ it.\n%\nWomen\ make\ up\ 51\ percent\ of\ the\ population,\ and\ because\ of\ this,\ Linux\ \nshould\ be\ banned\ in\ government.\ Operating\ Systems\ like\ Linux\ discriminate\ \nagainst\ women\ because\ of\ a\ built\ in\ difficulty\ \ compared\ with\ Windows\ and\ \nApple's\ OS\ X.\n\nWomen\ pay\ taxes,\ and\ therefore\ shouldn't\ be\ discriminated\ against\ in\ getting\ \nemployment\ with\ government\ agencies.\ If\ these\ agencies\ had\ used\ Windows\ or\ \nOS\ X,\ more\ women\ would\ be\ able\ to\ persue\ dreams\ of\ a\ full\ time\ job\ in\ \ngovernment.\ Linux\ is\ by\ its\ nature\ a\ man's\ domain.\ Women\ are\ designed\ to\ use\ \nsocial\ interaction\ and\ emotions\ to\ deal\ with\ complex\ tasks,\ things\ the\ \ncommand\ line\ are\ ill\ suited.\n\nOS\ X,\ and\ Windows\ have\ friendly\ and\ female-intuitive\ designs\ that\ take\ into\ \naccount\ a\ woman's\ understanding\ of\ objects,\ ie.\ folders,\ desktops,\ Clippy,\ \nthe\ XP\ search\ dog.\ \ These\ help\ women\ operate\ the\ computer\ by\ giving\ her\ a\ \nrelationship\ with\ these\ icons,\ and\ helpful\ animated\ pets.\ It\ makes\ a\ woman\ \nfeel\ at\ home\ with\ her\ computer\ by\ allowing\ her\ to\ relate\ to\ it.\n\nLinux,\ on\ the\ other\ hand\ is\ designed\ for\ command\ line\ and\ programming.\ Sure,\ \nit\ may\ have\ a\ fugly\ GUI\ to\ hide\ its\ true\ being,\ but\ to\ get\ any\ serious\ work\ \ndone\ you\ must\ know\ a\ bunch\ of\ arcane\ commands\ with\ hundreds\ of\ options\ that\ \nchange\ with\ every\ command.\ Something\ like\ this:\ chmod\ a+rwx.\ Only\ engineers\ \ncan\ understand\ this.\ And\ most\ engineers\ are\ still\ men.\ This\ puts\ the\ female\ \npopulation\ at\ a\ great\ disadvantage\ when\ applying\ for\ work.\ Men\ know\ this,\ \nand\ that's\ why\ they\ deliberately\ try\ to\ install\ linux\ in\ the\ workplace.\n\nHow\ would\ women's\ groups\ react\ when\ they\ read\ the\ studies\ that\ are\ being\ \ncommissioned\ by\ industry\ on\ this\ very\ subject?\ Surely,\ women,\ when\ they\ \nlearn\ of\ this,\ will\ outvote\ men\ and\ ban\ linux\ from\ the\ government.\n%\nI\ work\ for\ a\ shipping\ company\ that\ deals\ specifically\ with\ the\ delivery\ of\ \nanimals,\ mostly\ lab\ animals\ but\ we\ get\ some\ zoo\ business.\ Occasionaly\ some\ \nof\ these\ animals\ die\ during\ shipping,\ and\ we\ do\ some\ paperwork\ and\ have\ them\ \ncreamated\ and\ no\ one\ ever\ misses\ them.\ Once\ I\ stole\ a\ monkey\ and\ marked\ it\ \nas\ dead\ and\ burned\ on\ the\ paperwork.\ I\ took\ it\ because\ it\ was\ a\ very\ large\ \nmonkey\ and\ I\ thought\ it\ might\ make\ a\ cool\ pet.\ After\ I\ got\ tired\ of\ taking\ \ncare\ of\ a\ huge\ monkey\ I\ shaved\ it\ and\ took\ it\ to\ a\ prostitute.\ I\ told\ her\ it\ \nwas\ my\ deformed\ younger\ brother\ and\ that\ I\ would\ pay\ her\ extra\ to\ take\ his\ \nvirginity.\ It\ cost\ me\ a\ lot\ of\ money\ but\ I\ got\ her\ to\ do\ it\ and\ let\ me\ \nwatch.\ She\ was\ trying\ to\ pretend\ she\ liked\ it\ but\ she\ looked\ sick\ and\ \nManny(the\ monkey)\ was\ confused\ at\ first\ but\ he\ really\ started\ to\ get\ into\ \nit.\ The\ whole\ experience\ makes\ me\ sick\ when\ I\ think\ about\ it.\ The\ fact\ that\ \nI\ watched\ and\ that\ I\ did\ that\ to\ that\ girl,\ I\ wonder\ if\ she\ beleived\ it\ was\ \nreally\ my\ brother\ or\ if\ she\ just\ needed\ more\ crack.\ But\ also\ when\ I\ think\ \nabout\ it\ I\ laugh\ so\ fucking\ hard.\ I\ shot\ the\ monkey\ and\ left\ it\ in\ the\ woods\ \nafterword,\ I\ guess\ Manny\ died\ happy.\n%\nTHERE\ IS\ NO\ JUSTIFICAITON\ FOR\ ATTACKING\ SOMEONE.\ NOT\ EVEN\ IF\ YOU'RE\ USING\ A\ \nCOMPUTER\ TO\ DO\ IT.\ BECAUSE\ YOU'RE\ STLL\ HUMAN,\ AND\ THE\ PERSON\ YOU'RE\ \nATTACKING\ IS\ STILL\ HUMAN,\ AND\ YOU\ BOTH\ STILL\ HAVE\ MINDS\ AND\ FEELINGS.\n%\nPS3\ is\ shaping\ out\ to\ be\ a\ true\ status\ symbol\ for\ those\ who\ are\ very\ well\ \noff.\ I\ earn\ a\ salary\ reaching\ 75k\ per\ year\ and\ that's\ without\ my\ annual\ \nbonus.\n\nI'll\ be\ getting\ three\ PS3\ systems\ (two\ for\ back\ up\ purposes).\ The\ games\ are\ \nrumoured\ to\ be\ locked\ \$89\ and\ upwards\ for\ each\ copy.\ The\ software\ price\ is\ \nexpected\ to\ never\ go\ down\ over\ time\ ending\ the\ practice\ of\ consumers\ waiting\ \nfor\ prices\ to\ fall.\ Each\ system\ can\ not\ play\ used,\ rented,\ or\ borrowed\ games.\n\nHaving\ said\ that,\ this\ is\ a\ dream\ come\ true.\ This\ is\ a\ true\ fan\ system\ for\ \nhardcore\ gamers\ only.\ No\ longer\ will\ I\ have\ to\ suffer\ being\ in\ the\ company\ \nof\ pretenders.\ Finally\ we'll\ have\ a\ system\ to\ be\ truly\ proud\ to\ say\ we\ own.\ \nJust\ like\ the\ Neo\ Geo,\ except\ successful.\n\nFor\ those\ poor\ people\ who\ cannot\ afford\ the\ ride,\ Microsoft\ and\ Nintendo\ \nwill\ accomodate\ your\ needs.\n\nFor\ the\ rest\ of\ us\ that\ understand\ that\ you\ get\ what\ you\ pay\ for...\ I\ reckon\ \nwe're\ going\ to\ be\ in\ for\ a\ ride\ of\ our\ life.\n\nCount\ on\ it.\n%\nYes,\ Firefox\ is\ for\ people\ who\ like\ one\ tab\ to\ use\ 75\ MB\ of\ memory,\ since\ \nsome\ people\ like\ it\ when\ apps\ take\ advantage\ of\ memory\ installed\ in\ their\ \nsystem\ instead\ of\ having\ 800\ MB\ sitting\ there\ doing\ dick-all.\n%\nLook\ at\ that\ little\ string\ of\ text\ between\ my\ screenname\ and\ personal\ pic.\ \nSee\ that?\ That's\ living\ proof\ that\ I\ donated\ some\ of\ my\ own\ money\ to\ help\ \nget\ these\ boards\ up.\ Because\ I\ love\ these\ boards.\ And\ you\ know\ what\ you\ just\ \ndid?\ You\ just\ wasted\ a\ handful\ of\ bandwith\ and\ database\ storage\ space\ to\ \npost\ that\ uncannily\ awful\ waste\ of\ an\ attempt\ at\ an\ insult.\ In\ a\ sense,\ you\ \njust\ wasted\ a\ fraction\ of\ my\ money.\ See\ that\ it\n%\nWhen\ my\ parents\ were\ tight\ on\ cash,\ I\ attempted\ to\ save\ money\ on\ our\ water\ \nbill\ by\ pissing\ in\ the\ sink,\ and\ shitting\ on\ paper\ plates\ and\ dumping\ them\ \nin\ the\ field\ behind\ our\ house.\n%\nMy\ nephew\ used\ to\ work\ as\ a\ waiter\ in\ a\ seafood\ restaurant.\ And\ we\ all\ know\ \nhow\ niggers\ love\ \"skrimps\".....well,\ there\ was\ a\ huge\ nigger\ family\ one\ day\ \nand\ they\ shared\ meals\ (typical)\ as\ well\ as\ ordering\ water\ as\ their\ drinks.\ \nWhen\ they\ finally\ finished\ their\ meals,\ my\ nephew\ walked\ over\ to\ the\ huge\ \nmess\ on\ the\ table.\ They\ stiffed\ him\ on\ the\ tip\ ,\ and\ lo\ and\ behold\ EMPTY\ \nKOOL-AID\ PACKETS\ !!!!!\ The\ niggers\ made\ their\ own\ Kool-Aid\ with\ the\ water\ \nand\ sugar\ on\ the\ table.\ I\ couldn't\ believe\ my\ ears...but\ then\ \nagain............TNB\n%\nWell,\ \$600\ will\ buy\ you\ a\ fair\ amount\ of\ fish\ and\ will\ feed\ a\ bunch\ of\ \npeople\ once.\ However,\ you\ could\ also\ buy\ a\ PS3\ and\ SimFishing\ then\ invite\ \nall\ the\ starving\ over\ to\ have\ a\ competitive\ game\ and,\ in\ the\ process,\ teach\ \nthem\ how\ to\ fish\ which\ is\ infinitely\ more\ valuable.\n%\nHI!\ ANY\ 1\ HERE\ WAN\ 2\ CHAT??I\ AM\ 13/F/BRASIL\ KEKEKEJUZ\ LOOKIN\ FOR\ SUM1\ 2\ TALK\ \n2.NO\ OLD\ GUYSDATS\ GROSS!!!GOT\ 2\ SEND\ PIX\ 2\ GET\ PIXNO\ PRIVATESTHATS\ GROSS\ \nTOO!PLZ\ /MSG\ ME\ 4\ CHATim\ actually\ a\ 52\ year\ old\ balding\ port-a-let\ cleaner\n%\nEat\ shit,\ you\ greasy\ pacifist\ hippies.\ I\ am\ sick\ to\ death\ of\ the\ ludicrous\ \nanti-American\ ravings\ of\ you\ pissed-off\ geeks.\ Do\ you\ really\ believe\ the\ \nrest\ of\ us\ don't\ see\ right\ through\ your\ mental\ pathology?\ Your\ entire\ \npolitical\ philosophy\ boils\ down\ to\ this:\ \"The\ cool\ kids\ picked\ on\ me\ in\ high\ \nschool,\ and\ I\ can't\ get\ over\ it.\ I\ hate\ America\"\n%\nWhy\ cant\ the\ indians\ be\ like\ the\ blacks,\ coming\ to\ america\ in\ white-owned\ \nships\ to\ do\ our\ work\ because\ we're\ too\ lazy\ to\ do\ it.\ Those\ cheap\ ass\ \nindians\ hoofed\ it\ across\ some\ hippy\ nature\ bridge\n%\nI\ see\ what\ you\ are\ trying\ to\ do\ and\ I\ advise\ you\ to\ stop\ at\ once.\ \ You\ may\ \nthink\ your\ Mr.\ Slick\ and\ that\ you\ have\ some\ kind\ of\ advantage\ over\ me\ in\ \nthis\ situation\ but\ you\ couldn't\ be\ further\ from\ the\ truth.\ Just\ because\ you\ \ngot\ a\ higher\ score\ on\ the\ SAT\ does\ not\ mean\ that\ you\ are\ intellectually\ \nsuperior\ to\ me.\ I\ have\ 3\ degrees\ in\ physics\ and\ biomedical\ engineering\ and\ I\ \njust\ can�t\ believe\ that\ you\ try\ and\ pull\ something\ like\ this\ over\ on\ me.\ Now\ \nstop\ acting\ like\ you�re\ the\ king\ shit\ and\ remove\ that\ cock\ from\ my\ ass\ \nimmediately.\ It�s\ my\ turn.\n%\nI\ like\ to\ give\ my\ self\ paper\ cuts\ on\ the\ head\ of\ my\ cock.\ Then\ have\ \nferocious\ sex\ to\ feel\ the\ burn.\ Think\ about\ your\ breathing\n%\nI\ get\ off\ on\ sticking\ my\ dick\ into\ house\ hold\ appliances.\ one\ day\ i\ put\ it\ \nin\ a\ blender,\ i\ was\ really\ drunk.\ When\ i\ woke\ up\ in\ the\ hospital\ my\ forskin\ \nwas\ gone\ and\ they\ had\ to\ put\ in\ 50+\ stiches.\ Needless\ to\ say,\ i\ enjoyed\ it\ \nthoroughly.\n%\nWhy\ is\ the\ idea\ of\ laying\ in\ the\ bathtub\ for\ an\ entire\ day,\ naked,\ pissing\ \nand\ shitting\ and\ ejaculating,\ and\ being\ just\ filthy,\ seem\ so\ appealing?\n%\nOh,\ Brad\ Pitt?\ I\ don't\ see\ what's\ so\ good\ about\ this\ old\ dude.\ He\ doesn't\ \nhave\ half\ the\ charm\ of\ what\ I\ got.\ Lol,\ I\ know\ for\ sure\ women\ are\ attracted\ \nto\ him\ because\ of\ his\ material\ wealth.\ Look\ at\ all\ these\ hideous,\ butt-ugly\ \nrich\ motha\ f*ckas\ and\ how\ many\ women\ go\ chasing\ after\ them.\n\nI'm\ just\ tired\ of\ all\ the\ shallow\ people,\ I\ have\ never\ met\ somebody\ as\ deep\ \nas\ me.\ All\ my\ friends\ and\ girls\ I've\ been\ with\ never\ think\ like\ I\ do.\ Well,\ \nbaby,\ I\ got\ a\ spiritual,\ physical,\ and\ mental\ treasure\ just\ waiting\ to\ be\ \ndiscovered\ right\ here.\ I'm\ like\ a\ comet\ in\ the\ sky,\ passing\ you\ by,\ \nvanishing\ like\ the\ twilight\ at\ night.\ You've\ got\ to\ hop\ on\ the\ train\ before\ \nit's\ too\ late,\ it's\ like\ the\ chance\ of\ a\ lifetime.\ .\n\nBy\ the\ way,\ to\ whatever\ asked\ me\ why\ I\ was\ on\ this\ forum...\ Let\ me\ tell\ you\ \nthis,\ man.\ I've\ come\ here\ to\ learn\ more\ about\ astrophysics\ not\ ASStroholes.\ \nDo\ you\ feel\ me?\ There's\ no\ fear\ as\ long\ as\ your\ vision\ is\ crystal-clear.\n%\nAlso,\ what�s\ with\ posting\ your\ own\ blog\ to\ digg?\ �Hey,\ I\ shamlessly\ \nadvertise\ my\ own\ ridiculous\ existance\ on\ the\ intarweb!\ Please\ blogroll\ me\ \nand\ dl\ my\ podcast!�\n%\nwhy\ dont\ animated\ gifs\ come\ with\ sound\ :(\n%\ni\ brush\ my\ teeth\ standing\ up.\ i\ also\ like\ to\ pee\ or\ shit\ standing\ up\ while\ \ndoing\ so.\ sometimes\ i\ spit\ backwash\ on\ my\ penis\ and\ let\ it\ dry.\ it\ looks\ \nlike\ that\ one\ time\ i\ slept\ over\ my\ uncle's\ house.\ oh\ btw\ i\ live\ in\ the\ \nfreshman\ dorms.\ room\ 310.\ stop\ by\ and\ see\ me\ sometime.\n%\nI\ am\ officer\ David\ Green,\ badge\ no.\ 1039283\ you\ are\ in\ violation\ of\ \nIntellectual\ Property\ and\ High\ Technology\ Technical\ Amendments\ Act\ of\ 2002,\ \nDivision\ C,\ Title\ III,\ Subtitle\ B\ of\ the\ 21st\ Century\ Department\ of\ Justice\ \nAppropriations\ Authorization.\ I\ must\ ask\ that\ you\ cease\ and\ desist\ \nimmediately\ if\ not\ we\ will\ take\ action\ and\ contact\ the\ server\ that\ this\ site\ \nis\ on\ and\ force\ them\ to\ give\ us\ your\ ip,\ and\ we\ will\ then\ contact\ your\ ISP\ \nwhich\ will\ lead\ us\ to\ you.\ This\ is\ a\ very\ real\ and\ very\ serious\ threat.\ \nRemove\ the\ link\ immediately.\ This\ is\ your\ one\ and\ only\ warning.\n%\nPoop\ is\ mostly\ shades\ of\ brown\ or\ yellow,\ but\ other\ colors\ can\ arise\ under\ \ncertain\ circumstances.\ For\ example,\ someone\ with\ a\ bleeding\ ulcer\ might\ have\ \ntarry\ black\ poop\ from\ the\ presence\ of\ partially\ digested\ blood.\ Bleeding\ in\ \nthe\ intestine,\ from\ an\ anal\ fissure\ or\ split,\ for\ example,\ can\ stain\ the\ \npoop\ red.\ Bloody\ poop\ can\ also\ be\ a\ sign\ of\ colon\ cancer,\ so\ you\ should\ get\ \nit\ checked\ out\ by\ a\ doctor\ if\ you\ see\ blood\ in\ your\ stool.\ Some\ illnesses\ in\ \nbabies\ gives\ them\ green\ or\ even\ blue-green\ poop.\ But\ another\ source\ of\ blue\ \npoop\ in\ children\ is\ more\ innocent:\ it\ can\ come\ from\ eating\ a\ concentrated\ \nsource\ of\ blue\ food\ coloring\ such\ as\ ice\ cream.\ Intense\ red\ food\ coloring\ \ncan\ produce\ bright\ red\ poop.\ Sometimes\ brightly\ colored\ foods\ pass\ through\ \nthe\ gut\ almost\ unchanged,\ and\ the\ turd\ may\ be\ speckled\ with\ bright\ red\ \nfragments\ such\ as\ pimentos,\ or\ bright\ yellow\ kernels\ of\ corn.\n%\nI\ converted\ so\ easily.\ Just\ this\ morning,\ my\ nostrils\ were\ sneering\ at\ a\ \nmurky\ glass\ of\ bladder-beverage\ that\ I\ poured\ out\ of\ my\ penis.\ \"Do\ it,\"\ I\ \nscolded\ myself.\ \"Transcend\ the\ stench\;\ it's\ cheaper\ than\ aspirin.\"\ Boldly,\ I\ \nchugged\ three\ gulps\ of\ my\ piddle\ --\ yeech!\ My\ esophagus\ bucked\ \ndisagreeably...\ My\ pee\ is\ too\ hot\ and\ salty!\ It's\ icky!\n%\nI'm\ extremely\ liberal,\ yet\ I\ don't\ mind\ the\ government\ getting\ involved\ in\ \nour\ personal\ lives\ in\ order\ to\ keep\ us\ safe\ from\ terrorism.\ I'm\ also\ ok\ with\ \nracial\ profiling.\n%\nYou\ obviously\ know\ little\ about\ what's\ being\ talked\ about.\ We'll\ see,\ and\ \nI'll\ quote\ you\ later\ when\ you're\ proven\ wrong.\n%\nI\ eat\ exclusively\ from\ the\ following\ list\ of\ 12\ foods:\ Almonds/nuts,\ \nBerries,\ Oats/whole\ grain\ cereal,\ vegetables\ (especially\ green\ leafy),\ Beans\ \nand\ Legumes,\ Nonfat\ Dairy\ products,\ Eggs,\ Lean\ Meats\ (especially\ turkey),\ \npeanut\ butter,\ olive\ oil,\ Whey\ protein,\ and\ Whole\ Grain\ Bread\ (which\ falls\ \nunder\ oats/cereals).\ My\ colon\ is\ immaculate,\ and\ my\ bowel\ movements\ are\ \nenormous,\ dense,\ and\ dry\ as\ a\ biscuit.\n%\nI've\ been\ using\ IRC\ for\ years\ now,\ I\ love\ it,\ it\ is\ one\ of\ the\ best\ chat\ \nprograms\ on\ the\ internet\n%\nSex\ is\ a\ beautiful\ thing\ and\ it\ should\ not\ be\ restricted\ to\ certain\ age\ \nlimits.\ It\ should\ be\ enjoyed\ by\ old\ people\ right\ down\ to\ toddlers.\ And\ why\ \nnot?\ Yeah,\ I\ hear\ the\ jokes\ about\ Catholic\ priests.\ But\ people\ should\ just\ \nshut\ the\ fuck\ up\ and\ let\ others\ explore\ the\ deep,\ mysterious\ cave\ that\ is\ \nSEX.\ I\ mean,\ don't\ knock\ it\ until\ you\ try\ it.\ Don't\ say\ it's\ bad\ until\ \nyou've\ had\ your\ stiff\ PENIS\ shoved\ so\ far\ up\ a\ childs\ tight\ little\ pussy,\ \nyou\ cant\ say\ shit.\n%\nSomeone\ from\ the\ ip\ address\ \"66.103.132.86\"\ has\ been\ performing\ port\ scans\ \nand\ other\ malicious\ things\ on\ my\ computer\ such\ as\ DoS\ attempts\ and\ intrusion\ \nattempts\ wich\ in\ turn\ has\ made\ my\ internet\ speed\ drop\ because\ this\ person\ is\ \ndoing\ it\ so\ much\ and\ it\ is\ just\ destroying\ my\ bandwidth.\ Please\ tell\ them\ to\ \nstop.\ No,\ actually,\ force\ them\ to\ stop.\nThis\ e-mail\ address\ showed\ up\ when\ I\ back\ traced\ the\ IP\ address\ and\ \npreformed\ a\ whois\ search\ on\ it.\ If\ you\ are\ not\ responsible\ for\ the\ actions\ \nof\ this\ person,\ please\ ignore\ this\ e-mail.\ If\ nothing\ is\ done\ about\ it,\ keep\ \nthis\ in\ mind:\ I'm\ a\ 15\ year\ old\ hacker\ with\ alot\ of\ time\ on\ my\ hands.\ \nTherefore,\ if\ you\ don't\ stop\ this\ person,\ I\ will.\ I\ just\ thaught\ I\ would\ go\ \nabout\ it\ the\ right\ way\ before\ I\ did\ anything.\n%\nYo\ what\ kinda\ chili\ u\ into?\ I'm\ all\ about\ the\ Green\ Serrano,\ Red\ Serrano,\ \nCayenne,\ Datil,\ Dried\ Red\ Serrano,\ Ancho,\ Francisca,\ Scotch\ Bonnet,\ New\ \nMexican,\ Banana,\ Savinas,\ Pimento,\ BrilliantStars,\ Poblano,\ Red\ Thai,\ Hot\ \nWax,\ Dried\ New\ Mexican,\ Jalepeno,\ Dearbol,\ Tepin,\ Habanero,\ Aji-Amarillo,\ \nBell,\ Dundicut,\ Tequilla,\ Tien-Tsin,\ Hungarian,\ Tabasco,\ Piquin\ chillis\ and\ \ndon't\ forget\ the\ Crazy\ Chilli\ too!\n%\nMy\ d20\ is\ carved\ out\ of\ a\ solid\ piece\ of\ pure\ onyx\ with\ ruby\ inlet\ numbers.\ \ \nIt\ was\ valued\ at\ over\ \$2000.\ \ It\ has\ an\ operating\ system\ (made\ by\ Microsoft)\ \nthat\ automatically\ seeks\ out\ any\ other\ d20s\ on\ the\ table\ and\ crushes\ them.\ \ \nAnything\ larger\ than\ a\ d20,\ laser\ shoot\ out\ and\ destroy\ that\ useless\ piece\ \nof\ plastic.\ \ It\ can\ track\ a\ pewter\ figure\ from\ 1.3\ miles\ away.\ \ DMs\ fear\ my\ \nd20\ because\ it\ allows\ me\ to\ cheat\ without\ much\ effort.\ \ I\ simply\ say\ \"roll\ a\ \n20\"\ and\ it\ does.\ \ All\ other\ d20s\ are\ obsolete.\n%\nwhen\ you\ make\ love\ to\ a\ pregnant\ lady,\ you\ get\ a\ hand\ job\ from\ her\ baby,\ \ncold\ rubbin'\ it\ makin'\ it\ crazy,\ till\ I'm\ leakin'\ out\ all\ my\ man\ gravy\ ohh\ \nyeah\n%\nY0\ what\ kind\ of\ crimes\ u\ into?\ im\ all\ about\ a\ plan\ to\ kidnap\ a\ person\ /\ rape\ \nthem\ /\ torture\ them\ /\ kill\ them\ /\ cutting\ off\ da\ head\ /\ drain\ da\ body\ of\ \nblood\ /\ rape\ da\ corpse\ /\ eat\ da\ corpse\ /\ dispose\ of\ da\ organs\ and\ bones\ /\ \nfinish\ ff7\n%\nThe\ fish\ I\ buy\ are\ only\ the\ finest\ sushi-grade\ specimens\ raised\ in\ the\ \npristine\ nurseries\ of\ Fuji-ura\;\ a\ lake\ of\ pure\ rainwater\ which\ has\ lay\ \nhidden\ for\ millenia\ in\ a\ lush,\ sun-drenched\ crater\ atop\ Mt.\ Fuji.\ Go\ back\ to\ \nyour\ newspaper-wrapped\ already\ dead\ for\ 12\ hours\ vulcanized\ supermarket\ \nfish.\ I\ wouldn't\ be\ caught\ dead\ with\ that\ filth\ in\ my\ immaculate\ kitchen.\n%\nThanks\ for\ noticing,\ for\ getting\ an\ on\ topic\ first\ post\ I\ was\ bitch\ slapped\ \ninto\ karma\ oblivion.\ At\ least\ two\ people\ with\ mod\ points\ went\ back\ and\ \nknocked\ down\ all\ my\ previous\ posts\ to\ -1\ with\ trolls,\ off\ topics\ and\ \nredundants.\ I\ was\ banned\ form\ posting\ for\ twenty-four\ hours\ and\ I'm\ not\ \nallowed\ to\ meta-moderate\ anymore:(\ There\ some\ mean\ people\ on\ /.\n%\nWould\ you\ like\ my\ resume?\ I\ write\ code\ in\ everything\ from\ mainframe\ COBOL\ on\ \nOS/360-OS/390\ systems\ (OS/VS\ COBOL,\ MVS\ COBOL,\ etc)\ to\ C/C++\ and\ Java.\ I\ \nthink\ I\ know\ what\ the\ hell\ I'm\ talking\ about,\ nerd.\ Have\ you\ visited\ my\ \ncorporation's\ website?\ Feel\ free\ to\ read\ the\ article\ about\ me.\ It's\ on\ the\ \nfront\ page.\ Do\ you\ have\ some\ more\ inane\ nerd\ blather,\ or\ is\ it\ time\ for\ some\ \nTotinos?\ I\ thought\ so.\n%\nI'm\ a\ truck\ driver\ and\ would\ love\ to\ meet\ other\ transgendered\ truckers\ and\ \nwould\ love\ to\ meet\ any\ Lady\ truckers\ that\ enjoy\ being\ with\ a\ transvestites.\n%\nevery\ guy\ i\ hook\ up\ with\ ends\ up\ getting\ AIDS.\ i\ tested\ positive\ for\ HIV,\ so\ \ni\ think\ it\ was\ me.\ sorry\ guys,\ but\ maybe\ you\ should\ think\ before\ blaming\ it\ \nall\ on\ me.\ you\ could\ have\ at\ least\ used\ those\ STD\ testers\ on\ me\ first,\ so\ \ndont\ act\ like\ its\ all\ my\ fault.\ but\ anyways,\ sorry.\n%\nYes,\ perhaps\ embracing\ your\ status\ as\ a\ social\ misfit\ will\ allow\ you\ to\ \nappear\ \"edgy\"\ and\ \"cool\"\ as\ you're\ going\ through\ the\ pile\ of\ dirty\ clothes\ \non\ your\ floor\ desparately\ looking\ for\ anything\ that\ isn't\ encrusted\ with\ \neither\ microwave\ burrito\ glop\ or\ your\ rancid\ dried\ semen\n%\nI\ played\ diablo\ for\ like\ 12\ hours\ straight\ on\ my\ couch,\ slowly\ sliding\ into\ \na\ position\ that\ was\ almost\ parallel\ with\ the\ floor.\ At\ some\ point\ I\ realized\ \nmy\ head\ was\ the\ only\ part\ of\ me\ still\ on\ the\ couch,\ and\ I\ decided\ that\ was\ a\ \nretarded\ way\ to\ sit,\ but\ by\ that\ point\ I\ couldn't\ move.\ I\ fell\ over\ and\ \ndropped\ my\ laptop.\ My\ back\ was\ spasming\ so\ bad\ I\ almost\ pissed\ myself.\ In\ a\ \nvain\ attempt\ to\ alleviate\ the\ pain\ I\ crawled\ into\ the\ shower\ and\ turned\ on\ \nblasting\ hot\ water.\ That\ was\ no\ help,\ but\ it\ did\ soak\ my\ tshirt.\ After\ 15\ \nminutes\ of\ crying\ on\ the\ bathroom\ floor\ wearing\ a\ soaked\ and\ freezing\ tshirt\ \nI\ found\ a\ pair\ of\ scissors\ in\ a\ droor\ and\ cut\ the\ shirt\ off.\ I\ passed\ out\ \nfrom\ pain\ in\ a\ bunch\ of\ dirty\ towels\ and\ q-tips.\ Never\ felt\ anything\ like\ \nthat,\ not\ before\ and\ not\ after.\ Awful.\n%\nHey\ girl,\ what\ kind\ of\ irc\ chatters\ r\ u\ into?\ I'm\ into\ pimply\ overbearing\ \nmisfits,\ power-mad\ failures\ with\ an\ axe\ to\ grind,\ faceless\ idlers,\ 'Zany'\ \nwannabees,\ creepy\ pedophiles,\ dickless\ unix\ freaks,\ shit-eating\ mac\ users,\ \nclueless\ windoze\ faggots,\ 'professional'\ web\ designers,\ legally\ blind\ php\ \ncoders\ with\ herpes,\ geriatric\ lechers\ on\ social\ security,\ gun\ nuts\ on\ \nfederal\ disability,\ and\ ambitionless\ retards\ working\ the\ night\ shift.\n%\nMy\ name\ is\ Paul.\ If\ my\ name\ were\ to\ be\ used\ in\ a\ function\ it\ would\ used\ as\ \nsuch.\ Paul\ >\ You.\ I'm\ an\ investment\ banker.\ I\ am\ scared\ of\ daylight,\ so\ I\ \nstay\ indoors\ until\ 2am.\ I\ order\ in\ all\ my\ meals\ not\ because\ I\ like\ eating\ \ntake\ out\ on\ a\ daily\ basis,\ but\ because\ I\ am\ so\ excited\ to\ get\ back\ to\ work\ \nand\ look\ at\ my\ multiple\ lcd\ screens\ with\ spreadsheets\ open\ all\ over\ the\ \nplace.\ Casual\ friday\ means\ I\ can\ roll\ up\ my\ sleeves,\ but\ I\ don't\ because\ I\ \ndon't\ want\ to\ wrinkle\ my\ custom\ tailored\ shirts\ I\ buy\ from\ Bergdorf\ Goodman.\ \nI\ like\ to\ get\ my\ shoes\ shined\ multiple\ times\ a\ week,\ not\ because\ I\ want\ them\ \nto\ look\ clean\ and\ shiny,\ but\ because\ everyone\ who\ is\ line\ can\ admire\ my\ \nalligator\ gucci\ loafers\ that\ cost\ more\ than\ their\ LCD\ TV.\ I\ like\ business\ \ncards,\ so\ I\ can\ hand\ you\ one\ and\ you\ can\ hand\ me\ one,\ if\ yours\ looks\ cooler\ \nyou\ better\ be\ careful\ or\ you\ will\ end\ up\ like\ Paul\ Allen\ on\ American\ Psycho,\ \nbut\ that\ probobly\ wouldn't\ happen\ because\ yours\ says\ marketing\ \nrepresentative,\ or\ senior\ sales\ associate\ and\ mine\ says\ investment\ banker.\ I\ \nsometimes\ wish\ I\ had\ a\ life\ outside\ of\ the\ fast\ lane,\ but\ who\ the\ hell\ wants\ \nto\ drive\ slow?\ If\ our\ lives\ were\ cars\ I'd\ be\ the\ 911\ turbo\ and\ you'd\ be\ the\ \nTaurus\ or\ the\ Civic\ SI\ (for\ those\ of\ you\ gunners).\ I\ like\ to\ look\ at\ people\ \nand\ smile\ and\ nod,\ not\ because\ I'm\ a\ nice\ or\ friendly\ guy,\ but\ because\ they\ \nare\ just\ another\ person\ that\ I\ passed\ in\ the\ race\ called\ life.\ I\ flaunt\ \nmoney\ because,\ that's\ the\ only\ thing\ I\ have\ that\ you\ don't\ have.\ You\ \nprobobly\ have\ free\ time,\ a\ life,\ hobbies\ etc.\ I\ have\ money.\ Money\ can't\ buy\ \nhappiness,\ but\ it\ can\ buy\ whatever\ the\ Fuck\ I\ want.\n%\nA\ buddy\ of\ mine\ actually\ had\ both\ of\ his\ computers\ confiscated\ by\ the\ FBI.\ \nApparently\ someone\ had\ spoofed\ his\ IP\ (or\ maybe\ hacked\ into\ his\ wirless)\ and\ \nmade\ a\ whole\ bunch\ of\ fraudulent\ purchases.\ About\ 8\ months\ later,\ the\ FBI\ \ndecided\ to\ give\ him\ his\ computers\ back?\ with\ all\ his\ fursona's\ files\ \nmysteriously\ deleted.\ This\ is\ an\ outrage.\n%\nI\ was\ stuck\ in\ traffic\ one\ day\ and\ just\ kinda\ thought\ it\ would\ be\ funny\ to\ \nmasturbate.\ It\ was\ sunny\ and\ clear\ out,\ so\ I\ was\ worried\ one\ of\ the\ other\ \ndrivers\ would\ see\ me,\ but\ my\ jeep\ is\ pretty\ high\ off\ the\ ground,\ so\ I\ think\ \nno\ one\ noticed.\ I\ busted\ a\ nut\ and\ aimed\ it\ down,\ ruining\ my\ tweety\ bird\ \nfloor\ mat.\ I\ felt\ kinda\ stupid\ after\ and\ my\ mom\ kept\ silent\ the\ rest\ of\ the\ \ndrive\ home.\ It\ was\ awkward\ and\ I\ regret\ it.\n%\nI\ wish\ that\ i\ was\ Vegeta\ from\ dragonball\ z.\ Once\ while\ stoned\ i\ tried\ to\ do\ \na\ kamehameha\ and\ im\ sure\ my\ hands\ got\ hot.\ Im\ planning\ on\ picking\ a\ fight\ \nand\ while\ the\ adrenaline\ is\ flowing,\ im\ going\ to\ turn\ super\ saiyan\ and\ \npunish\ my\ opposition.\ Goku\ is\ stronger\ but\ Vegeta\ is\ cooler,\ im\ 38\ with\ two\ \nkids....\ my\ kids\ are\ weaklings,\ my\ wife\ left\ me\ and\ i\ like\ the\ way\ womans\ \nshoes\ make\ my\ calves\ look.\n%\nearlier\ tonight\ i\ went\ into\ chat\ and\ no\ one\ spoke\ to\ me.\ i\ don't\ know\ what\ \ni've\ done\ to\ anyone...but\ i\ guess\ whatever\ it\ is..it\ was\ enough\ for\ people\ \nto\ stop\ talking\ to\ me.\ some\ may\ think\ 'well,\ it's\ just\ chat...right?'.\ well\ \nunfortunately,\ chat\ is\ all\ i\ have.\ the\ only\ friends\ i\ have\ are\ online.\n%\nThree\ guesses\ as\ to\ who\ was\ asked\ to\ leave\ the\ Starbucks\;\ oh,\ and\ told\ \"not\ \nto\ come\ back\"\ with\ my\ \"hateful\ rhetoric\".\ True\ enough,\ I\ just\ said\ I\ hate\ \nniggers\;\ but\ the\ problem\ is,\ everything\ I\ said\ WAS\ TRUE!\n%\nI\ am\ the\ world's\ foremost\ expert\ on\ sticking\ people's\ treasured\ items\ into\ \nmy\ urethra.\ \ I\ have\ 'gauged'\ it\ to\ the\ point\ where\ I\ can\ almost\ wedge\ a\ \npiece\ of\ celery\ in\ there,\ though\ no\ one\ treasures\ celery.\ \ If\ anyone\ can\ \nbeat\ this,\ I'd\ like\ to\ suck\ their\ dick!\n%\ni\ like\ my\ urls\ like\ i\ like\ my\ women...dirty\ and\ mangled\n%\nThe\ message\ is\ pretty\ clear.\ Whenever\ two\ sheep\ herding\ white\ guys\ get\ \ntogether,\ they\ allow\ their\ animal\ instincts\ to\ take\ over\ and\ they\ buttfuck\ \neach\ other\ and\ fall\ in\ love.\ Then,\ they\ live\ a\ lie\ and\ sneak\ out\ repeatedly\ \nto\ hook\ up\ and\ fuck\ each\ other's\ asses\ until\ they\ bleed.\ Then\ the\ wives\ find\ \nout\ and\ divorce\ them.\ Or,\ the\ dumb\ ass\ bimbos\ dont\ know\ that\ their\ husbands\ \ntry\ on\ their\ clothers\ while\ they\ are\ away.\ The\ cinetography\ was\ beautiful\ \nthe\ soundtrack,\ etc.\ But\ the\ message\ (written\ by\ a\ chink)\ is\ still\ one\ of\ \ndeception,\ love,\ and\ faggotry.\ Sorry.\n%\nThere\ is\ no\ doubt\ that\ white\ boys\ do\ play\ video\ games\ well.\ Having\ been\ run\ \noff\ the\ football\ field,\ basketball\ court,\ and\ track\ by\ more\ athletic\ black\ \nboys,\ white\ boys\ retreat\ to\ their\ computers\ and\ video\ games.\ Unfortunately,\ \nthis\ only\ makes\ their\ unathletic\ bodies\ weaker,\ thus\ seriously\ harming\ their\ \nconcept\ of\ masculinity\ and\ making\ them\ social\ outcasts\ with\ females.\n%\nDid\ you\ know?\ \ The\ origins\ of\ the\ tooth\ fairy\ date\ back\ to\ the\ early\ 1800s.\ \ \nAccording\ to\ linguist\ and\ accredited\ historian\ Michael\ Quinion,\ the\ \"Toothe\ \nFaerie\"\ was\ first\ documented\ in\ 1825,\ when\ dental\ hygiene\ was\ beginning\ to\ \ngain\ momentum\ due\ to\ studious\ work\ of\ the\ \"father\ of\ dental\ hygiene\",\ Alfred\ \nC.\ Fones.\ \ Fones\ solicited\ young\ boys\ for\ --\ at\ first\ innocent,\ but\ \nincreasingly\ violent\ --\ oral\ sodomy\ in\ exchange\ for\ their\ freshly\ uprooted\ \nteeth,\ in\ some\ cases\ having\ been\ recorded\ as\ persuading\ youths\ to\ perform\ \nthese\ acts\ of\ love\ shortly\ after\ the\ dental\ work.\ \ Over\ the\ course\ of\ his\ \ncareer,\ unbeknownst\ to\ local\ authorities,\ Fones\ began\ to\ encourage\ large\ \namounts\ of\ subsequent\ generations\ of\ virginial\ youths\ to\ procure\ payment\ in\ \naddition\ to\ these\ sexual\ favors\ in\ order\ to\ retrieve\ their\ dislodged\ teeth,\ \nthereby\ setting\ an\ example\ for\ burgeoning\ homosexual\ men\ of\ all\ ages\ to\ \ncome.\ \ Due\ to\ the\ local\ vernacular\ of\ the\ time,\ the\ good\ doctor's\ casual\ \ntitle\ \"Magister\ Dentali\"\ was\ eventually\ replaced\ with\ our\ more\ modern\ \ncolloquialism\ once\ enough\ of\ the\ population\ had\ become\ familiar\ with\ the\ \ntale.\n%\nDid\ You\ Know?\ After\ maintaining\ a\ vow\ of\ silence\ for\ almost\ 7\ years,\ Red\ Hat\ \nLinux\ founder\ Marc\ Ewing\ now\ freely\ admits\ that\ he\ named\ Red\ Hat\ Linux\ after\ \nLimp\ Bizkit\ frontman\ Fred\ Durst's\ trademark\ red\ New\ York\ Yankees\ baseball\ \ncap.\nDurst\ and\ Ewing\ met\ in\ Ewing's\ hometown\ of\ Raleigh,\ North\ Carolina\ (Durst\ \nwas\ raised\ in\ Gastonia,\ NC),\ where\ they\ became\ fast\ friends,\ sharing\ the\ \nsame\ passion\ for\ low-level\ system\ programming.\nDurst\ collaborated\ with\ Ewing\ on\ the\ first\ preview\ beta\ of\ Red\ Hat\ Linux\ \nbefore\ the\ demands\ of\ his\ rocketing\ stardom\ forced\ him\ to\ abandon\ his\ hobby\ \nand\ tour\ with\ his\ band.\nDurst's\ position\ on\ the\ development\ team\ was\ filled\ by\ Damien\ Neil,\ and\ not\ \nmany\ know\ of\ his\ contribution\ to\ the\ popular\ Linux\ distribution\;\ however,\ a\ \ngoogle\ search\ through\ the\ source\ code\ on\ Redhat.com\ \n(http://www.google.com/search?q=wfd+site:redhat.com)\ reveals\ many\ snippets\ \nof\ code\ authored\ by\ 'wfd',\ Durst's\ initials\ (William\ Frederick\ Durst).\nDurst\ asked\ Ewing\ to\ keep\ his\ 'geeky'\ roots\ a\ secret\ as\ it\ would\ not\ lend\ \nitself\ to\ Durst's\ bad\ boy\ image,\ but\ as\ Ewing\ points\ out,\ it\ was\ \"only\ a\ \nmatter\ of\ time\"\ before\ the\ origins\ of\ his\ NASDAQ-100\ company's\ name\ were\ \nuncovered.\n%\nIf\ you\ listen\ to\ all\ of\ the\ cds\ that\ ICP\ has\ put\ out,\ and\ really\ put\ some\ \nthought\ into\ what\ ICP\ is\ saying\ on\ them,\ there\ are\ some\ very\ strong\ \nreferences\ to\ all\ things\ biblical.\ I\ mean\ you're\ really\ gonna\ hafta\ look\ \npast\ all\ of\ the\ \"chicken\ huntin\"\ and\ things\ like\ that.\ It's\ not\ really\ like\ \nthe\ D.C.\ is\ its\ OWN\ religion,\ its\ more\ like\ it\ follows\ Christianity\ very\ \nheavily.\ As\ far\ as\ the\ shangri-la\ (heaven),\ The\ Great\ Milenko\ (the\ devil),\ \nand\ things\ of\ that\ nature,\ all\ stand\ for\ different\ aspects\ of\ the\ Bible.\ I\ \ndunno,\ im\ kinda\ babbling\ here,\ so\ perhaps\ if\ i\ refer\ you\ to\ a\ web\ page\ \nyou'll\ understand\ more.\n%\nAt\ the\ age\ of\ about\ 5,\ in\ the\ bath,\ I\ was\ playing\ with\ my\ lego\ men,\ jungle\ \nanimals,\ duplo\ etc.\ I\ needed\ to\ pass\ wind,\ so\ i\ did\ (with\ a\ little\ effort)\ \nsatisfied,\ I\ returned\ to\ playing\ with\ my\ toys.\ I\ reached\ for\ the\ black\ \ngorilla\ king\ of\ the\ jungle\ and\ brought\ it\ up\ to\ my\ face,\ only\ to\ find\ it\ was\ \nmy\ shit.\n%\nok,\ I\ know\ i'm\ married\ with\ kids\ but\ there\ is\ this\ chick\ at\ work\ who\ totally\ \nflirts\ with\ me\ all\ the\ time.\ She's\ not\ into\ me\ or\ anything\ but\ she\ totally\ \nflirts\ with\ me.\ I\ don't\ exactly\ not\ flirt\ back,\ and\ I\nfantasize\ about\ her\ all\ the\ time.\ nothing\ will\ happen\ between\ us\ because\ i'm\ \nsuch\ a\ pussy.\ oh\ yah,\ shes\ 6\ years\ old\n%\nOne\ time\ I\ offered\ my\ diabetic\ friend\ some\ reeses\ pieces,\ which\ he\ refused,\ \nsaying\ he\ would\ get\ sick.\ I\ assured\ him\ that\ he\ would\ be\ fine\ and\ he\ gobbled\ \nup\ a\ whole\ handful\ without\ getting\ sick\ at\ all.\ The\ next\ day\ he\ asked\ me\ \nwhere\ he\ could\ get\ more\ of\ this\ special\ treat,\ and\ I\ told\ him\ that\ he\ had\ \nnot\ eaten\ candy\ at\ all,\ but\ rather\ \"feces\ pieces\".\n%\nHeh.\ Don't\ you\ guys\ know\ that\ arguing\ on\ the\ internet\ is\ like\ participating\ \nin\ the\ special\ olympics?\ Even\ if\ you\ win,\ you're\ still\ retarded.\ In\ fact,\ \nthere's\ an\ image\ out\ there\ on\ this\ interweb\ of\ ours\ that\ conveys\ this\ \nmessage\ perfectly...\n%\nhave\ you\ ever\ been\ squatting\ down\ and\ just,\ you\ know,\ tucked\ in\ your\ neck,\ \nyou\ know?\ and\ closed\ your\ eyes?\ and\ then\ put\ your\ forehead\ down\ on\ the\ \nground,\ you\ know?\ and\ then\ you\ know,\ leaned\ forward\ a\ little\ bit,\ you\ know,\ \nshifted\ your\ weight?\ and\ then\ just\ lifted\ your\ posterior\ up\ in\ the\ air,\ \npushed\ hard,\ you\ know,\ and\ watched\ yourself\ take\ a\ gigantic\ shit\ on\ another\ \nman's\ chest?\ man,\ there\ should\ really\ be\ a\ name\ for\ doing\ this.\n%\npick\ on\ me\ thru\ a\ monitor,\ i\ doubt\ it\ would\ happen\ in\ rl\n%\nI\ know\ Africa\ has\ its\ own\ internet\ connection..\ buncha\ niggers\ with\ mailbags\ \nrun\ around\ for\ email..\ Tech\ Support\ is\ like\ shakalakuzulu\ kuntakente\ cheifs\ \nthat\ speek\ jigabooese\n%\nSince\ you\ like\ looking\ at\ women,\ I\ think\ it's\ about\ time\ you\ get\ your\ cherry\ \nbusted.\ Yes,\ you\ need\ to\ get\ laid.\ Nursing\ homes\ are\ full\ of\ old\ hotties\ \nthat\ would\ be\ willing\ to\ give\ their\ all\ to\ please.\ Since\ they\ are\ mostly\ in\ \nwheelchairs,\ they\ don't\ even\ have\ to\ kneel.\ Think\ about\ it,\ dude!\ In\ fact,\ \nthink\ about\ those\ wrinkled,\ diapered\ old\ women\ every\ time\ you\ wank.\ Think,\ \nvisualize,\ wrinkled\ dry\ pussy,\ depends,\ gums\ only,\ shit\ breath,\ saggy\ \ntits........\n%\nThis\ is\ why\ it\ is\ so\ tough\ for\ Microsoft\ to\ break\ into\ the\ Japanese\ market.\ \nThey\ have\ a\ different\ mentality.\ THe\ Japanese\ have\ a\ more\ demure\ way\ of\ \ndoing\ business.\ They\ always\ strive\ for\ honor\ in\ all\ that\ they\ do.\n%\nIs\ it\ politically\ correct\ on\ this\ list\ to\ trash\ Microsoft\ and\ show\ destain\ \nfor\ money?\ If\ so,\ I\ must\ protest.\ Microsoft\ is\ the\ best\ thing\ that\ ever\ \nhappened\ to\ computer\ users,\ ever.\ It\ will\ never,\ never\ be\ replaced\ by\ user\ \nunfriendly\ software\ like\ linux\ or\ TeX.\ Never.\n%\nno\ sooner\ had\ the\ last\ inch\ of\ snow\ fallen\ in\ New\ York\ when\ the\ blogosphere\ \ncame\ alive\ with\ myriad\ sepia\ filtered\ grainy\ photos\ of\ the\ wintry\ landscape,\ \nlong,\ disjointed\ poetry\ about\ the\ ruthlessness\ of\ mother\ nature,\ and\ \nhelpless\ nerds\ half-joking\ pleas\ for\ rescue\n%\ngirl\ i\ must\ be\ dick\ cheney\ because\ i\ want\ to\ fire\ my\ weapon\ into\ your\ back\n%\noh\ well,\ I'm\ smarter\ than\ almost\ everyone\ I\ ever\ met\ in\ my\ whole\ fucking\ \nlife,\ so\ I'm\ not\ worried\ about\ my\ filthy\ habits\ heh\n%\nSecond-best\ sex?\ Tell\ that\ to\ a\ Linux\ programmer\ who's\ got\ a\ slice\ of\ pizza\ \nin\ one\ hand,\ his\ hideously\ empurpled\ member\ in\ the\ other\ and\ a\ Natalie\ \nPortman\ tribute\ website\ firmly\ plastered\ across\ Firefox...\n%\nChinese/Korean/Japanese\ don't\ look\ alike.\ If\ you\ think\ they\ are\ alike\ then\ I\ \nguess\ all\ white\ people\ are\ the\ same\ too.\ You\ dumb\ crackers.\n%\nI\ had\ a\ dream\ (nightmare\ really)\ last\ night\ that\ the\ coffee\ industry\ in\ \nSouth\ America\ was\ hit\ by\ a\ blight\ that\ made\ all\ coffee\ toxic\ which\ caused\ \ndeath\ for\ anyone\ who\ drank\ a\ cup.\ \ The\ entire\ Web\ 2.0\ startup\ scene\ crashed\ \nand\ the\ bubble\ popped.\ Flock\ went\ under\ and\ Yahoo\ stopped\ buying\ everyone.\ \nNot\ fun.\n%\nOokles?\ I\ don't\ know\ but\ it's\ Web\ 2.0\ compliant\ and\ has\ a\ nice\ prototype.js\ \ntransition\ when\ you\ register\ for\ their\ private\ beta.\n%\nBy\ the\ way,\ I've\ seen\ you\ play\ DDR\ in\ real\ life.\ You\ didnt\ know\ I\ was\ a\ \ngoon,\ but\ I\ was\ there.\ Watching.\ Waiting.\ Planing.\n%\nI\ like\ to\ take\ a\ toothbrush\ and\ stick\ it\ in\ my\ anus.\ I\ get\ into\ the\ shower\ \nand\ sit\ up\ straight\ so\ that\ it\ gets\ as\ deep\ as\ possible.\ This\ feels\ great\ \nand\ there\ is\ no\ pain.\ Then\ you\ can\ jack\ off\ and\ move\ up\ and\ down\ just\ like\ \nyou?re\ riding\ a\ real\ cock.\ It\ feels\ GREAT!\n%\nFuck\ all\ authority\ figures\ of\ any\ type.\ Now\ instead\ of\ hearing\ the\ song\ and\ \nletting\ it\ pass\ by\ you\ I\ think\ we\ should\ all\ rise\ against\ and\ do\ somin\ about\ \nauthority.....\ and\ they\ can\ feel\ the\ rage\ of\ OUR\ generation!!!!!!!!!!!!!\n%\nlol\ no\ 1\ has\ 1\ that\ they\ will\ give\ out\ to\ even\ members\ here\ i\ doubt\ ud\ get\ 1\ \ni\ cant\ find\ 1\ and\ iv\ been\ looking\ over\ a\ month\ every\ hour\ ..\ u\ gota\ look\ \nmaby\ ull\ find\ 1\ or\ learn\ to\ make\ i\ tried\ and\ failed\ so\ i\ dono\ wht\ to\ say\ but\ \nu\ wont\ get\ 1\ im\ sure..\ thats\ just\ hwo\ it\ is\ i\ wish\ i\ had\ 1\ my\ self\n%\nILYAZAYUZIN.......HAHAHAHA...FIRST\ OFF\ TELL\ ME\ WHERE\ IV'E\ BEEN\ PRAISING\ \nVANILLA\ ICE.\ SECONDLY\ STOP\ ACTING\ LIKE\ A\ RETARD\ INTERNET\ THUG\ AND\ GET\ OFF\ 2\ \nPAC'S\ NUTSACK\ YOU\ 15\ YEAR\ OLD\ WANNABE\ WANKSTA.GO\ LISTEN\ TO\ YOUR\ BONE\ THUGS\ \nAND\ HARMONY\ WHILE\ I\ STICK\ SOME\ 7L\ AND\ ESOTERIC\ ON\ YOU\ CHUMP!!!!!PEACE\ TO\ THE\ \nREAL\ UNDERGROUND\ HEADS!\n%\nI'm\ usually\ at\ the\ club\ on\ Sunday\ night,\ and\ they\ will\ have\ Adult\ Swim\ \nplaying\ on\ the\ TVs\ behind\ the\ bar.\ Having\ Boo-Boo\ Runs\ Wild\ on\ at\ the\ exact\ \ntime\ every\ Sunday\ gives\ me\ a\ good\ visual\ clue\ that\ the\ night\ is\ starting\ to\ \nrun\ its\ course,\ and\ that\ I\ should\ make\ it\ my\ last\ round\ so\ that\ I'll\ be\ \nsober\ enough\ to\ drive.\ (So\ I\ can\ get\ home\ and\ watch\ the\ night's\ lineup\ as\ I\ \ntaped\ it.)\n%\nIn\ stark\ terms,\ Wikipedia\ is\ one\ of\ the\ single\ most\ important\ undertakings\ \nin\ human\ history.\ If\ we\ do\ our\ job,\ future\ generations\ will\ look\ upon\ \nWikipedia\ as\ the\ cornerstone\ of\ the\ information\ revolution.\ If\ we\ don't,\ the\ \nworld\ will\ lose\ a\ tremendous\ resource.\ This\ is\ why\ we\ need\ to\ keep\ the\ jews\ \nout.\n%\nYou're\ a\ huge\ assblaster.\ You're\ like\ one\ huge\ slimey\ smelly\ rocket,\ flying\ \nthrough\ space\ at\ speeds\ unknown\ to\ man,\ and\ shooting\ off\ fumes\ which\ \nslightly\ resemble\ broccoli\ and\ rotted\ meat.\ But\ it's\ ok,\ because\ your\ \nflaccid\ asscheeks,\ worn\ from\ shits\ that\ rival\ the\ titantic\ herself,\ will\ \nmake\ up\ for\ the\ kinetic\ energy\ lost\ from\ your\ inefficient\ use\ of\ the\ natural\ \ngas\ the\ infinitely\ spews\ from\ your\ cum-filled\ stomach.\n%\nMeth\ is\ the\ shortest\ word\ in\ the\ English\ language\ one\ can\ lisp\ while\ drunk\ \nand\ underage\ at\ a\ gay\ bar.\ It\ can\ therefore\ be\ no\ surprise\ that\ homosexual\ \nmales\ have\ congregated\ around\ the\ substance\ since\ its\ inception.\ For\ every\ \nmeth\ mouth,\ there\ is\ an\ equal\ and\ opposite\ meth\ dick.\n%\nFound\ you\ folks\ by\ accident...decided\ that\ underground\ should\ actually\ mean\ \nunderground...although\ pop-up\ occur\ from\ time-to-time.\ The\ revolution\ will\ \nbe\ VOIPed\ AND\ blogged.\n%\nI\ hope\ I\ never\ have\ to\ hear\ any\ of\ these\ cosplay\ slangs\ ever\ at\ a\ \nconvention.\ \ Anime\ Iowa\ is\ a\ place\ to\ have\ fun\ and\ to\ enjoy\ being\ surrounded\ \nby\ fellow\ fans.\ \ Not\ a\ place\ to\ treat\ other\ fans\ in\ a\ superior\ fashion.\ \ \n*Most\ of\ us\ experienced\ or\ are\ experiencing\ this\ in\ highschool*\n%\nAnd\ yeah,\ I\ didn't\ want\ to\ get\ into\ this,\ either.\ It's\ just\ that\ I'm\ fucking\ \nsick\ to\ death\ of\ furs\ bagging\ on\ other\ furs\ just\ to\ blow\ up\ their\ own\ egos.\ \nThis\ is\ what\ the\ real\ problem\ is\ in\ the\ fandom\ that\ \"gives\ us\ a\ bad\ rep\".\ \nWhile\ we're\ all\ squabbling\ over\ stupid\ lil\ mediocre\ differences\ like\ \nchildren\ on\ a\ playground,\ the\ rest\ of\ the\ world\ thinks\ we're\ all\ a\ bunch\ of\ \nskunk\ fuckers\ anyways.\ It's\ all\ very\ inane.\n%\nI\ hear\ you\ brought\ a\ prepubescent\ kid\ to\ a\ \"FurBQ\"\ event\ a\ while\ back.\ I\ \nwonder\ that\ that\ kid's\ guardians\ would\ think\ if\ they\ knew\ the\ things\ you\ \njerked\ off\ over,\ or\ that\ you\ get\ an\ erection\ mentally\ undressing\ kids\ you\ \nsee\ on\ the\ street.\ I\ wonder\ what\ people\ at\ your\ job\ would\ think,\ or\ what\ \nyour\ parents\ would\ think.\ Maybe\ you\ should\ wonder\ those\ things\ too.\n%\nI\ disagree\ with\ the\ software\ \"Fruity\ Loops\"\ on\ the\ grounds\ that\ only\ 50%\ or\ \nless\ of\ the\ musicians\ that\ use\ this\ software\ are\ actually\ homosexual.\ I\ \nthink\ they\ need\ to\ either\ change\ the\ name\ of\ the\ software,\ or\ have\ some\ kind\ \nof\ provision\ in\ the\ EULA\ that\ you\ can\ only\ use\ it\ if\ you're\ gay.\ Stop\ faking\ \nthe\ funk\ already.\n%\nI\ used\ to\ watch\ Dragon\ Ball\ Z,\ and\ it\ was\ cool,\ and\ Transformers\ is\ awesome\ \ntoo.\ But\ one\ thing\ I\ never\ got\ about\ anime\ is\ why\ do\ they\ have\ big\ eyes?\ \nIt's\ from\ Japan,\ that\ should\ mean\ small\ eyes.\n%\nI've\ had\ sex\ with\ a\ dinosaur,\ horse,\ sheep\ and\ cow\ in\ my\ dreams\n%\nAnyone\ who\ has\ taken\ Linguistics\ 101\ and\ actually\ paid\ attention\ would\ be\ \nwell\ aware\ that\ English\ uses\ no\ subjunctive\ tense.\ \ For\ you\ see,\ gerunds\ and\ \nparticiples\ aren't\ tenses,\ my\ friend.\ \ As\ much\ as\ I\ enjoy\ your\ witticisms\ \nand\ laughably\ incorrect\ \"facts\",\ I'd\ prefer\ that\ you\ research\ it.\n%\nHey\ gurl\ what\ u\ into?\ I'm\ all\ about\ the\ blunt\ force\ injuries\ with\ no\ blood\ \nand\ resulting\ in\ blood\ on\ body\ and\ clothing,\ blood\ splattering\ from\ wounds,\ \ndeath\ with\ eyes\ open,\ cutting\ injuries\ with\ no\ blood,\ screaming\ in\ pain\ and\ \nresulting\ in\ blood\ on\ body,\ severed\ limbs,\ blood\ spurting\ from\ wounds,\ \nentrails\ seen,\ and\ death.\n%\nI\ was\ watching\ myself\ everynight.\ Eventually\ I\ found\ myself\ very\ attractive,\ \nand\ I\ finally\ realized\ my\ ability\ to\ make\ her\ love\ me.\ So\ I\ raped\ her.\ But\ I\ \nlater\ found\ she\ was\ a\ slut\ since\ she\ didn't\ want\ to\ marry\ me.\ So,\ I\ raped\ \nher\ again.\ I\ think\ she\ loves\ me\ now.\n%\nWhat\ kind\ of\ anime\ u\ into?\ I'm\ all\ about\ the\ Inu\ yasha,\ saiyuki,\ get\ \nbackers,\ spiral,\ furuba,\ you're\ under\ arrest,\ soul\ hunter\ (houshin\ engi),\ \ntokyo\ underground,\ samurai\ deeper\ kyo,\ flame\ of\ recca,\ mirage\ of\ blaze,\ gate\ \nkeepers,\ real\ bout\ high\ school,\ street\ figter,\ fatal\ fury,\ dnAngel,\ \ngravitation,\ yami\ no\ matsuei,\ theif\ and\ detective,\ prince\ of\ tennis,\ \njuvenile\ orion,\ aporipha0,\ orphen,\ angelic\ layer,\ shama\ pita\ ten,\ kaiken\ \nphrase,\ FAKE,\ himiko\ den,\ kiddy\ grade,\ lost\ universe,\ slayers,\ burn\ up\ W,\ \nfor\ you\ in\ full\ blossoms,\ fushigi\ yuugi,\ gundam\ wing,\ yuyu\ hokushou,\ hunter\ \nx\ hunter,\ sakura\ wars,\ cardcaptor\ sakura,\ tokyo\ babylon,\ magic\ knights\ \nrayearth,\ scrapped\ princess,\ infinite\ ryvius,\ witch\ hunter\ robin,\ mahou\ \nsenshi\ riui,\ Furi\ Kuri,\ gundam\ seed,\ vampire\ princess\ miyu,\ king\ of\ bandits\ \njing,\ rave,\ E's\ Ot\ Gojyo\ (saiyuki),\ Sanada\ Yukimura\ (samuria\ deeper\ kyo),\ \nHiroshi\ (gravitation),\ Inu\ yasha,\ Ban\ (get\ backers),\ Akabane\ (get\ backers),\ \nHeartia\ (orphen),\ Iori\ (King\ of\ Fighters),\ Taikoubo\ (houshin\ engi),\ Kyou\ \n(furuba),\ Kazuma\ (scryed),\ Larva\ (vampire\ princess\ miyu),\ Shigure\ (furuba),\ \nKen\ (weiss\ kreuz),\ Dark\ (dnAngel),\ Kurama\ (yuyu\ hakushou),\ Akabane\ (get\ \nbackers),\ Touga\ (utena),\ Shido\ (nightwalker),\ Ryuhou\ Quatre\ (gundam\ wing),\ \nAmon\ (witch\ hunter\ robin),\ Michael\ (witch\ hunter\ robin),\ Riui\ (mahou\ senshi\ \nriui),\ Shido\ (nightwalker),\ Jing\ (king\ of\ bandits\ jing),\ Yuuki\ (e's\ \notherwise\",\ Kai\ (e's\ otherwise),\ Eagle\ (magic\ knights\ rayearth),\ Clef\ (maigc\ \nknights\ rayearth),\ Enba\ (wildrock),\ Ken\ (Mata\ Natsu\ ga\ Kita),\ Haru\ (rave),\ \nMagica\ (rave)\n%\nI\ have\ a\ cat\ trap\ in\ my\ back\ yard\ and\ its\ pretty\ fun\ to\ check\ the\ cage\ on\ a\ \nfriday\ night\ and\ choke\ a\ cat\ to\ death\ while\ you\ are\ half\ snapped.\ sometimes\ \nill\ even\ follow\ up\ with\ a\ jerk\ session\ and\ blow\ my\ semen\ all\ out\ on\ a\ dead\ \npussy.\ ohh\ yeah.\n%\ndude...listen...pretty\ much\ evry\ one\ hate\ him\ and\ microsoft,\ sure\ he's\ given\ \nus\ some\ computer\ crap\ who\ cares,\ its\ all\ crap,\ i\ hate\ windows\ so\ much,\ its\ \nthe\ crapyest\ piece\ of\ shit\ ever,\ i\ want\ linux!\n%\nEveryone\ who\ has\ had\ sex\ and\ said\ it\ wasn't\ that\ great\ are\ people\ who\ have\ \nonly\ had\ sex\ with\ people\ they\ don't\ really\ care\ about.\ It's\ disappointing\ to\ \njust\ stick\ your\ dick\ in\ any\ girl,\ but\ if\ it's\ a\ childhood\ friend\ or\ your\ \ndaughter,\ it's\ so\ much\ better.\n%\nIf\ your\ daughter\ listens\ to\ hip\ hop\ music,\ you\ should\ caution\ her\ against\ \ntaking\ MDMA,\ commonly\ known\ as\ ecstasy\ if\ she\ plans\ to\ go\ to\ hip\ hop\ \nconcerts\ or\ hip\ hop\ clubs.\ As\ everyone\ knows,\ when\ you\ add\ E\ to\ rap,\ you\ get\ \nRAPE.\n%\nHello.\ I\ have\ a\ girlfriend.\ She\ has\ long\ orange\ hair\ which\ she\ wears\ with\ \nhairpins.\ She\ never\ removes\ her\ hairpins\ as\ they\ are\ worn\ in\ memory\ of\ her\ \nbrother\ while\ her\ hair\ is\ worn\ long\ in\ honor\ of\ the\ promise\ Tatsuki\ once\ \nmade\ to\ protect\ her.\ One\ of\ my\ girlfriend's\ more\ distinct\ characteristics\ is\ \na\ large\ bust.\n%\nBefore\ I\ dropped\ out\ of\ college,\ I\ strove\ to\ be\ as\ different\ from\ everyone\ \nelse\ as\ I\ could\ be,\ reading\ manga\ and\ blasting\ JPOP\ music\ in\ my\ car.\n%\nSo,\ I\ met\ this\ fat,\ skanky\ nigger\ bitch\ who\ wanted\ to\ fuck\ me,\ 'cause\ she'd\ \nnever\ had\ a\ white\ man.\ I\ said\ sure,\ took\ her\ home\ and\ got\ her\ all\ hot\ and\ \nbothered.\ Then\ I\ hit\ her\ over\ the\ head\ with\ a\ crowbar.\ Just\ before\ she\ lost\ \nconscienceness,\ I\ told\ her\ I'd\ never\ defile\ my\ white\ cock\ on\ a\ nigger\ ape\ \nand\ shit\ in\ her\ face.\ Then\ I\ beat\ her\ to\ death\ with\ the\ crowbar.\ I\ ground\ \nher\ carcass\ up\ in\ a\ meat\ grinder\ and\ made\ nigger\ patties.\n%\nUmmmm....you\ are\ trying\ to\ equate\ \"ratings\"\ for\ fucking\ PODCASTS\ with\ that\ \nof\ TV?\ Even\ digital\ cable\ TV?\ A\ Podcast\ is\ a\ big\ hit\ with\ a\ few\ thousand\ \ndownloads.\ 99%\ of\ hte\ wolrd\ doesn't\ gie\ a\ fuck\ about\ Podcasts.\ OK,\ maybe\ not\ \n99%,\ since\ the\ world\ is\ about\ 10%\ homosexual.\ But\ 100%\ of\ heterosexuals\ have\ \nNEVER\ listened\ to\ a\ podcast,\ or\ read\ a\ blog\ in\ their\ lives.\n%\nYou're\ really\ a\ failure\ at\ life,\ you're\ 290\ pounds,\ you've\ got\ horrible\ back\ \nhair,\ you\ sweat\ profusely,\ staining\ all\ your\ white\ clothes\ yellow,\ and\ \nyou've\ killed\ 3\ dogs\ by\ anal\ impaction.\n%\nLittle\ known\ fact:\ \"Chimney\ Sweeps\"\ from\ Dickensian\ literature\ actually\ did\ \nnot\ clean\ chimneys\ in\ a\ literal\ sense,\ as\ soot\ would\ take\ centuries\ to\ build\ \nup\ to\ the\ point\ where\ airflow\ in\ a\ typical\ chimney\ was\ obstructed.\ Instead\ \nthese\ young\ boys\ were\ paid\ for\ performing\ analingus\ on\ as\ many\ as\ 30\ wealthy\ \ngentlemen\ per\ day.\n%\nWhen\ I\ masterbate\ I\ fantasize\ about\ strange\ things.\ Like\ shitting\ in\ other\ \npeoples\ mouths\ while\ I\ watch\ them\ slowly\ drown\ in\ quicksand.\ I\ wish\ I\ wasn't\ \nso\ fucked\ up.\ What's\ worse\ is\ that\ seems\ like\ the\ only\ way\ I\ can\ get\ off.\n%\nThe\ average\ man's\ body\ in\ this\ country\ is\ an\ absolute\ embarrassment.\ Mother\ \nNature\ has\ got\ to\ be\ ashamed.\ The\ average\ man\ is\ a\ flabby,\ frail\ mess\ of\ a\ \njoke,\ a\ complete\ and\ utter\ mockery\ of\ a\ physical\ sham.\ The\ average\ man\ is\ \nfeeble,\ fat\ and\ functionless.\ The\ only\ time\ he\ ever\ moves\ his\ engorged,\ \nslovenly\ body\ is\ when\ he\ shoves\ another\ slice\ of\ pizza\ down\ his\ throat,\ \nscratches\ his\ ass\ or\ belches\ out\ the\ national\ anthem.\n%\nMy\ data\ are\ extrusively\ and\ exclusively\ sorted,\ indexed,\ and\ metaindexed.\ My\ \nindices\ are\ stored\ and\ accessed\ on\ a\ plethora\ of\ nodes\ over\ an\ ultra\ high\ \nbandwidth\ optical\ pipe\;\ any\ item\ of\ data\ in\ my\ vast\ collection\ is\ instantly\ \naccessible\ by\ myself\ from\ anywhere\ on\ the\ planet.\ Go\ back\ to\ bubble\ sorting\ \nyour\ recipe\ card\ database.\ You\ cannot\ possibly\ compare\ with\ me.\ Good\ day.\n%\nSo\ I'm\ sitting\ at\ my\ xterm\ in\ KDE\ hacking\ some\ kernel\ code,\ and\ this\ bitch\ \ncomes\ up\ to\ me\ and\ says\ \"Do\ you\ know\ which\ of\ these\ computers\ runs\ Windows?\"\ \nWell\ that\ did\ it.\ I\ flipped\ up\ my\ shades\ and\ looked\ her\ straight\ in\ the\ eye\ \nand\ said\ \"Fuck\ no\ I'm\ open\ source\ bitch\".\ I\ picked\ up\ my\ 10\ lb\ IBM\ Model\ M\ \nkeyboard\ and\ said\ \ \"I\ can\ kick\ your\ ass\ at\ 120wpm\"\ and\ broke\ it\ over\ the\ \ncunt's\ head.\ She\ dropped\ to\ her\ knees\ and\ I\ kicked\ the\ jewel\ case\ out\ of\ her\ \nhand\ and\ into\ her\ teeth.\ Next\ I\ grabbed\ her\ by\ the\ neck\ and\ said\ \"How's\ your\ \nuptime\"\ before\ suplexing\ her\ backward\ through\ the\ air\ and\ into\ the\ server\ \nroom.\ Some\ smoke\ that\ smelled\ like\ burning\ hair\ started\ to\ drift\ out\ so\ I\ \njumped\ on\ my\ razor\ scooter\ and\ rode\ off\ into\ the\ sunset.\n%\nHello.\ I\ am\ interested\ in\ various\ things,\ which\ include:\ Finding\ out\ your\ \nreal\ life\ info(s),\ prank\ calling\ you\ every\ day,\ stealing\ your\ IRC\ \nnickname(s),\ and\ finding\ flaws\ in\ your\ website\ (i.e.\ loading\ popups,\ etc).\n%\ngirl,\ i\ must\ be\ cervical\ cancer\ because\ i'm\ totally\ eating\ your\ pussy\n%\nFurcism\ is\ just\ as\ bad\ a\ racism\ jackass,\ if\ you\ dont\ have\ anything\ \nintelligent\ to\ say\ shut\ the\ fuck\ up....\ Obviously\ furry\ is\ in\ demand\ if\ the\ \nmod\ created\ a\ board\ for\ it,\ therefore\ he\ needs\ to\ fix\ the\ link,\ and\ you\ can\ \njust\ avoid\ it\ with\ your\ furcist\ ass.\ Geez\ im\ getting\ tired\ of\ lil\ pricks\ \nsaying\ stupid\ shit.\ May\ a\ tiger\ eat\ your\ entrails.....\n%\nMy\ Fleshlight\ massages\ my\ penis\ at\ a\ rate\ of\ 2700\ RPMs\ and\ feels\ like\ 250\ \npreteen\ girls\ giving\ me\ a\ handjob\ simultaneously.\ \ It's\ encrusted\ with\ \nflawless\ 36\ karat\ conflict\ diamonds\ straight\ from\ the\ heart\ of\ Africa.\ \ It's\ \npowered\ by\ an\ experimental\ plutonium\ alloy\ battery\ and\ has\ a\ constant\ \nrun-time\ of\ well\ over\ 3\ years.\ \ It\ has\ 4\ settings,\ as\ opposed\ to\ yours\ which\ \nhas\ only\ 2\ settings\ (on\ and\ off).\ \ No\ other\ fabricated\ orifice\ can\ compare\ \nto\ my\ Fleshlight.\n%\nwoke\ up\ around\ 3pm\ pretty\ hung\ over\ -\ i\ got\ a\ new\ pair\ of\ jeans\ they\ are\ the\ \nbrand\ wild\ ass\ which\ is\ pretty\ good\ has\ alot\ of\ places\ to\ stash\ shit\ like\ \nknives,hammers\ leathermens\ drank\ a\ pot\ of\ coffee\ and\ read\ the\ drudge\ report\ \nand\ huffington\ post\ sat\ outside\ near\ some\ fresh\ dog\ shit\ and\ smoked\ 5\ \ncigerettes\ as\ my\ dogs\ barked\ at\ me\ put\ on\ my\ boots\ and\ off\ we\ fucking\ go\ to\ \nclean\ out\ the\ swamp\ coolers\ of\ rich\ college\ kids\ who\ live\ a\ block\ from\ the\ \ncampus\ -\ you\ gota\ first\ get\ on\ the\ roof\ then\ you\ unlatch\ these\ metal\ clamps\ \non\ all\ corners\ then\ fuckin\ valium\ hits\ you\ hard\ you\ undo\ the\ belt\ so\ it\ \ndoesnt\ break\ w/\ frost\ bite\ -\ then\ you\ drain\ the\ water\ out\ of\ them\ and\ turn\ \noff\ electricity\ and\ water\ routing\ to\ the\ swamp\ coolers\ -\ any\ one\ of\ you\ \nfucking\ fucks\ out\ there\ with\ a\ swamp\ cooler\ your\ gona\ die\ some\ day\ fucking\ \ndisgusting\ you\ stash\ some\ shit\ up\ there\ like\ a\ piegeon\ or\ a\ wasps\ nest\ n\ let\ \nit\ soak\ and\ blow\ fuckin\ air\ and\ whatever\ the\ fuck\ i\ let\ into\ your\ swamp\ \ncooler\ soak\ in\ your\ room\ -\ you\ better\ fuckin\ belive\ it\ if\ i\ sweep\ up\ anymore\ \ncig\ butts\ outside\ the\ f\ uckin\ final\ fantasy\ soundtrack\ lovin\ fuckin\ failed\ \nfrat\ boys\ yard\ im\ gona\ put\ a\ bag\ of\ kimchee\ and\ chicken\ grease\ fuckin\ sars\ \nin\ his\ face\ and\ ass\ from\ sucking\ the\ wind\ of\ the\ d\ -\ low\ blood\ sugar\ valium\ \nand\ a\ hang\ over\ i\ fuckin\ put\ the\ shit\ back\ together\ as\ hot\ fuckin\ college\ \nass\ walks\ by\ constantly\ so\ i\ start\ to\ head\ down\ off\ the\ roof\ theres\ a\ sort\ \nof\ ledge\ then\ a\ fence\ then\ the\ ground\ -\ but\ then\ i\ see\ into\ one\ of\ the\ \nneighbors\ yards\ and\ it\ looks\ like\ a\ sort\ of\ stable?\ so\ i\ kinda\ jumped\ from\ \nthe\ roof\ into\ their\ yard\ but\ my\ boots\ fuckin\ get\ stuck\ on\ the\ rain\ gutter\ \nand\ i\ flip\ forward\ face\ into\ the\ wall\ upside\ down\ kidna\ fall\ back\ onto\ the\ \nfloor\ it\ smells\ really\ bad\ and\ the\ pain\ is\ unbearable\ and\ i\ hear\ a\ sort\ of\ \nweird\ snorting\ sound\ the\ door\ to\ the\ stable\ is\ open\ and\ allthough\ im\ hurt\ \npretty\ bad\ nothing\ is\ broke\ -0\ i\ just\ sort\ of\ limp\ into\ the\ stable\ to\ see\ \nwhats\ up\ and\ theres\ this\ beutiful\ donkey\ there\ -\ a\ great\ ass/mule\ im\ not\ \nsure\ what\ kind\ of\ breed\ it\ was\ but\ it\ wsa\ really\ friendly\ and\ let\ me\ pet\ its\ \nmane\ it\ said\ my\ leg\ would\ feel\ better\ soon\ cuz\ of\ the\ valium\ and\ i\ thought\ \nthat\ was\ funny\ i\ sorta\ sat\ down\ in\ the\ corner\ cuz\ of\ the\ leg\ pain\ and\ \nnoticed\ i\ was\ sitting\ in\ a\ pile\ of\ the\ donkeys\ shit\ -\ wet\ dry\ all\ together\ -\ \nmy\ wild\ ass\ jeans\ were\ soaked\ and\ there\ were\ flies\ everywhere\ -\ the\ pony\ \ndonkey\ thing\ just\ sort\ of\ looked\ at\ me\ and\ smiled\ like\ horses/donkeys/bears\ \ndo\ and\ i\ smiled\ back\ cuz\ wtf\ im\ allready\ pretty\ fucked\ so\ i\ start\ to\ stand\ \nup\ but\ the\ girafe\ sort\ of\ moves\ its\ ass\ so\ my\ head\ bumps\ into\ its\ really\ \ntoned\ ass\ -\ i\ cant\ help\ but\ notice\ that\ its\ massive\ cock\ is\ in\ fact\ a\ \ndonkeys\ vagina\ -\ i\ look\ up\ at\ her\ pretty\ pony\ face\ and\ she\ smiles\ back\ so\ i\ \njust\ dove\ into\ that\ pussy\ where\ you\ at\ dog\ you\ know\ what\ im\ saying\ -\ fist\ \ninto\ ass\ pushed\ in\ pretty\ far\ so\ i\ could\ feel\ around\ in\ the\ mule's\ stomach\ \nand\ slowly\ i\ felt\ that\ she\ had\ a\ sort\ of\ hernia?\ so\ i\ pushed\ a\ lil\ farther\ \n(my\ jacket\ was\ fucked\ at\ this\ point)\ and\ i\ found\ that\ the\ hernia\ let\ me\ push\ \nmy\ arm\ all\ the\ way\ through\ to\ her\ beutiful\ unicorn\ vagina\ for\ the\ first\ time\ \ni\ have\ fisted\ someone\ through\ both\ hinde\ sex\ cavities\ -\ but\ something\ \nspooked\ that\ old\ black\ man\ and\ he\ started\ to\ run\ with\ me\ attatched\ my\ \ngirlfriend\ who\ works\ with\ me\ on\ the\ landscaping\ saw\ me\ from\ over\ the\ wall\ \nand\ my\ arm\ slurped\ out\ of\ the\ small\ scotty\ dogs\ ass\ it\ was\ disgusting\ and\ \nembarrasing\n%\nI'm\ new\ to\ this\ channel,\ but\ I\ would\ just\ like\ to\ tell\ you\ that\ you\ are\ an\ \ninspiring\ individual.\ I\ appreciate\ your\ efforts.\ I'm\ not\ a\ pedophile\ myself,\ \nbut\ I\ happen\ to\ enjoy\ viewing\ lolicon\ on\ a\ regular\ basis,\ so\ I'm\ well\ aware\ \nof\ the\ prejudices\ you\ face.\ Never\ stop\ fighting\ for\ what\ you\ believe\ in.\n%\nGET\ TROOPS\ OUT\ OF\ IRAQ\ BUCK\ FUSH\ CONSERVATIVES\ ARE\ GAY\ NO\ BLOOD\ FOR\ OIL\ \nWRONG\ WAR\ WRONG\ PLACE\ WRONG\ TIME\ FRIENDS\ DONT\ LET\ FRIENDS\ VOTE\ REPUBLICAN\ \nBUSH&DICK:\ \ GOOD\ IN\ BED\ BAD\ IN\ DA\ WHITEHOUSE\ my\ brother\ raped\ me\ when\ i\ was\ 6\n%\nYou\ know,\ I\ find\ it\ hard\ to\ say\ that\ something\ that\ has\ freed\ 50\ million\ \niraqi\ people\ from\ oppression\ and\ death\ is\ a\ bad\ thing.\n%\nMy\ friend,\ I\ bet\ you\ haven't\ read\ the\ terms\ and\ conditions\ for\ this\ \nforum....\ Take\ cover,\ you\ are\ about\ to\ be\ flamed!\n%\nMy\ new\ XBOX\ 360\ controller\ is\ one\ out\ of\ ten\ collector's\ editions\ ever\ made.\ \nHandcrafted\ from\ a\ block\ of\ pure\ platinum,\ the\ buttons\ are\ various\ precious\ \nand\ semiprecious\ stones,\ expertly\ cut\ and\ polished\ to\ brilliance\ by\ noted\ \nJapanese\ philosopher\ and\ artisan\ Inazo\ Nitobe.\ It\ can\ operate\ in\ wireless\ \nmode\ from\ over\ 3km\ away,\ and\ the\ force\ feedback\ is\ powerful\ enough\ to\ slice\ \nthrough\ a\ four\ inch\ pane\ of\ glass.\n%\nWhile\ the\ argument\ does\ not\ really\ say\ much\ being\ on\ a\ PG-rated\ television\ \nprogram,\ Data\ never\ reveals\ his\ genital\ region\ on\ screen.\ This\ makes\ \nconfirmation\ fo\ genitals\ by\ direct\ examination\ impossible.\n%\nJapanese\ is\ such\ a\ sound\ poor\ language...\ it's\ impossible\ for\ them\ to\ say\ a\ \nlot\ of\ english\ sounds,\ LET\ ALONE\ German\ which\ is\ much\ more\ complex\ soundwise.\n%\nI\ think\ now\ is\ a\ good\ time\ to\ honor\ ourselves\ with\ some\ put-ups.\ You\ know,\ \ninstead\ of\ put-downs?\n%\nRather\ than\ being\ birthed\ like\ a\ normal\ child,\ Norris\ instead\ punched\ his\ \nway\ out\ of\ his\ mother's\ womb.\ Shortly\ thereafter\ he\ grew\ a\ beard.\ Before\ \nemail\ was\ invented\ Chuck\ Norris\ would\ attach\ messages\ to\ kittens\ and\ \nroundhouse\ kick\ them.\ The\ chief\ export\ of\ Chuck\ Norris\ is\ pain.\ Chuck\ \nNorris'\ tears\ cure\ cancer.\ Too\ bad\ he\ has\ never\ cried.\ When\ Chuck\ Norris\ has\ \nsex\ with\ a\ man,\ it\ is\ not\ because\ he\ is\ gay,\ but\ because\ he\ has\ run\ out\ of\ \nwomen.\ Chuck\ Norris\ does\ not\ have\ AIDS\ but\ he\ gives\ it\ to\ people\ anyway.\ \nChuck\ Norris\ has\ yet\ to\ get\ a\ Jeopardy\ question\ wrong.\ Jesus\ has\ missed\ two.\ \nChuck\ Norris\ sold\ his\ soul\ to\ the\ devil\ for\ his\ rugged\ good\ looks\ and\ \nunparalleled\ martial\ arts\ ability.\ Shortly\ after\ the\ transaction\ was\ \nfinalized,\ Chuck\ roundhouse\ kicked\ the\ devil\ in\ the\ face\ and\ took\ his\ soul\ \nback.\ The\ devil,\ who\ appreciates\ irony,\ couldn't\ stay\ mad\ and\ admitted\ he\ \nshould\ have\ seen\ it\ coming..\n%\nA\ plane\ is\ standing\ on\ a\ runway\ that\ can\ move\ (some\ sort\ of\ band\ conveyer).\ \nThe\ plane\ moves\ in\ one\ direction,\ while\ the\ conveyer\ moves\ in\ the\ opposite\ \ndirection.\ This\ conveyer\ has\ a\ control\ system\ that\ tracks\ the\ plane\ speed\ \nand\ tunes\ the\ speed\ of\ the\ conveyer\ to\ be\ exactly\ the\ same\ (but\ in\ opposite\ \ndirection).\nThe\ question\ is:\ Will\ the\ plane\ take\ off\ or\ not?\nThe\ answer:\ Yes!\nThe\ plane\ will\ take\ off\ if\ there\ is\ enough\ difference\ between\ the\ speed\ of\ \nthe\ air\ and\ the\ plane.\ The\ plane\ speed\ RELATIVE\ to\ the\ air\ speed\ over\ the\ \nwings\ is\ half\ that\ of\ the\ plane\ relative\ to\ the\ conveyor.\nBasically,\ it\ depends\ on\ how\ fast\ the\ conveyor\ moves,\ consequently\ how\ fast\ \nthe\ plane\ moves\ forward.\ If\ it\ reaches\ (about)\ 220\ mph,\ it\ will\ take\ off.\n%\nCarefull\ there\ friend,\ posting\ a\ blog\ message\ claiming\ that\ my\ users\ are\ not\ \nmature\ might\ just\ cause\ the\ masses\ to\ come\ over\ here\ and\ attack\ your\ site.\ \nNext\ thing\ you\ know,\ you\ will\ be\ dDOS\ attacked,\ and\ spammed\ in\ your\ comments\ \nsection.\n%\nDid\ You\ Know:\ As\ late\ as\ 1987,\ instruction\ booklets\ included\ in\ the\ classic\ \nParker\ Bros.\ board\ game\ \"Monopoly\"\ contained\ directions\ for\ appointing\ one\ \nplayer\ as\ \"The\ Jew\"?\ It\ was\ not\ until\ the\ early\ 90s\ that\ references\ to\ \"The\ \nJew\"\ were\ replaced\ by\ \"The\ Banker\"\ in\ all\ game\ packaging\ and\ accompanying\ \nmaterial.\n%\nHaha.\ Whatever.\ I'm\ in\ an\ animation\ college,\ and\ when\ I\ was\ in\ high\ school\ \ngirls\ used\ to\ BEG\ for\ picture\ from\ me,\ and\ it\ was\ the\ most\ attention\ I\ got\ \nin\ school.\ Now\ everyone\ draws\ so\ it's\ not\ a\ big\ deal.\ If\ someone\ compliments\ \nyou,\ take\ it,\ because\ chances\ are\ I'm\ better\ than\ you,\ and\ would\ mock\ you\ \nwhen\ you\ left\ the\ room.\n%\nI'm\ clicking\ your\ link,\ n00b,\ and\ nothing's\ happening.\ I'm\ clicking,\ bitch.\ \nWhat's\ supposed\ to\ happen,\ fag?\ I'm\ clicking\ and\ nothing's\ happening,\ \nfucktard.\n%\nI\ bet\ you\ think\ you're\ actually\ amusing.\ You\ were\ giggling\ to\ yourself\ as\ \nyou\ typed\ that\ line\ out,\ and\ are\ eagerly\ staring\ at\ your\ screen\ hoping\ that\ \nsomeone\ will\ give\ you\ a\ zany\ quip\ in\ reply.\ Go\ on,\ you\ can\ laugh.\ It's\ okay.\ \nJust\ remember\ that\ you're\ the\ only\ one\ who\ thought\ that\ comment\ was\ in\ any\ \nway\ entertaining.\n%\nI\ bet\ you\ think\ you're\ actually\ amusing.\ You\ were\ giggling\ to\ yourself\ as\ \nyou\ typed\ that\ post\ out,\ and\ are\ eagerly\ refreshing\ this\ thread\ in\ the\ hopes\ \nthat\ someone\ will\ give\ you\ a\ zany\ quip\ in\ reply.\ Go\ on,\ you\ can\ laugh.\ It's\ \nokay.\ Just\ remember\ that\ you're\ the\ only\ one\ who\ thought\ that\ post\ was\ in\ \nany\ way\ entertaining.\n%\nPresumably\ you're\ either\ joking,\ or\ you're\ not\ a\ web\ designer.\n%\nI'm\ very\ sorry\ to\ hear\ about\ your\ situation.\ I'll\ write\ a\ post\ about\ it\ on\ \nBlogSpot\ and\ Xanga.\ Maybe\ we\ can\ also\ start\ a\ social\ bookmark\ campaign\ to\ \nhighlight\ your\ story.\n%\nFor\ those\ who\ doubt\ the\ authenticity\ of\ these\ facts,\ note\ that\ I\ have\ a\ \ndoctorate\ in\ the\ Social\ Sciences\ from\ the\ University\ of\ Phoenix\ online,\ and\ \nI\ have\ over\ thirty\ volumes\ on\ the\ subject\ in\ print\ via\ on-demand\ internet\ \npublishing.\ Good\ day.\n%\nguns\ work\ like\ this\ -\ u\ buy\ the\ deagle\ at\ the\ spawn\ point\ and\ u\ get\ the\ \nheadshot\n%\ngirl\ i\ must\ be\ the\ u.s.\ senate\ because\ i'm\ totally\ rejecting\ your\ timetable\ \nfor\ withdrawal\ of\ my\ troops\n%\nThe\ government\ is\ too\ bureacratic\ and\ corrupt\ to\ accept\ the\ opinoin\ of\ an\ \naverage\ American.\ They\ don't\ care\ about\ us,\ and\ we\ shouldn't\ care\ about\ \nthem.\ We\ need\ a\ revolution\ right\ now.\ Start\ it\ with\ Linux.\ F**K\ the\ \ngovernment!\n%\nIt\ should\ be\ extrusively\ notated\ (and\ annotated)\ that\ my\ imago\ has\ been\ \nensnared\ in\ the\ viscosity\ of\ time.\ That\ is\ why\ my\ transcendent\ self\ has\ been\ \nimportuned\ (but\ not\ without\ resisting)\ despite\ the\ hydraulic\ pressure\ to\ \nlimitate\ and\ delineate\ those\ theotons\ (the\ untimely\ microscopic,\ particulate\ \nhydrole)\ whose\ essential\ god-like\ characteristics\ have\ been\ laminated\ into\ \nan\ irreducibly\ minisculate,\ atomized,\ and\ indeed\ lionized\ cannister.\ Such\ is\ \nthe\ enraptured\ entrapment\ of\ my\ condition.\n%\nBoo\ hoo!\ So\ their\ PROFITS\ are\ down.\ That\ only\ means\ they're\ not\ stealing\ as\ \nmuch\ from\ the\ poor.\ I\ call\ that\ a\ move\ in\ the\ right\ direction!\ Let's\ face\ it\ \nfolks!\ Companies\ only\ profit\ by\ exploiting\ the\ poor.\ The\ very\ existence\ of\ \npoverty\ is\ all\ the\ proof\ you\ need!\ What\ do\ they\ need\ all\ of\ that\ money\ for?\ \nThey\ have\ a\ civic\ duty\ to\ share\ their\ ill-gotten\ fortunes\ with\ the\ society\ \nthey\ exploit\ to\ create\ their\ riches.\ \ Companies\ should\ be\ forced\ to\ operate\ \nat\ a\ break-even\ limit.\ Any\ excess\ profit\ proves\ that\ they\ are\ charging\ too\ \nmuch\ for\ their\ product,\ and\ exploiting\ the\ poor.\ Such\ immoral\ profiteering\ \nshould\ be\ illegal!\ There\ are\ so\ many\ people\ that\ need\ that\ money\ more\ than\ \nthose\ greedy,\ racist\ executive\ robber-barons!\ The\ slavery\ must\ end,\ people!\ \nIf\ we\ don't\ stick\ up\ for\ the\ poor\ now,\ who\ will\ fight\ for\ us\ when\ it's\ OUR\ \nturn\ to\ be\ robbed?\n%\nI\ work\ for\ IBM.\nSo\ I\ am\ really\ getting\ a\ kick\ out\ of\ most\ of\ these\ replies.\nSome\ of\ you\ guys\ are\ very\ good\ at\ making\ it\ sound\ like\ you\ know\ what\ you\ are\ \ntalking\ about.\nBut\ trust\ me....\ You\ don't.\nI\ think\ you\ just\ want\ to\ make\ yourself\ sound\ smart,\ when\ in\ reality\ you\ dont\nknow\ what\ you\ are\ talking\ about.\nThis\ is\ how\ bad\ info\ gets\ passed\ around.\nIf\ you\ dont\ know\ about\ the\ topic....Don't\ make\ yourself\ sound\ like\ you\ do.\nCuz\ some\ Slashdotters\ belive\ anything\ they\ hear.\n%\nI\ am\ pleased\ to\ inform\ you\ that\ I\ am\ currently\ drinking\ pure\ nutrients\ and\ \ndense\ anti-oxidants\ in\ the\ form\ of\ fortified\ pomegranate\ nectar.\ During\ an\ \naverage\ meal\ I\ will\ drink\ no\ less\ than\ six\ liters\ of\ steeped\ oolong\ tea\ \nimported\ mere\ hours\ before\ from\ his\ Holiness\ the\ Dalai\ Lama's\ private\ \ngarden.\ In\ short,\ the\ ratio\ of\ free\ radicals\ in\ your\ bloodstream\ as\ compared\ \nto\ mine\ is\ immeasurably\ high.\ Good\ day.\n%\nI\ like\ to\ say\ these\ following\ words:\ 1.tit\ balls\ 2.penis\ nipples\ 3.doodie\ \npoopy\ 4.pickleweasle\ 5.testicle\ poop\ 6.shit\ whore\ 7.shitless\ tit\ 8.penis\ \nshrimp\ 9.loomis\ 10.super\ weiner\ discharge\n%\ni\ think\ this\ guy\ likes\ me.\ evertime\ we\ hang\ out,\ and\ do\ the\ least\ bit\ of\ \ntouching,\ he\ gets\ a\ boner,\ or\ atleast\ i\ thnk\ he\ does.\ but\ a\ boner\ is\ pretty\ \nhard\ to\ miss.\ so\ im\ guessing\ yea.excepts\ ints\ ot\ thru\ hsi\ pants,\ he\ jsut\ \nkidof\ tucks\ it\ in\ the\ part\ wiht\ tbuttons...\ the\ part\ were\ the\ belt\ goes.\ but\ \nit\ still\ goes\ up,\ and\ im\ not\ hallucinating\n%\nput\ down\ that\ joystick,\ son,\ and\ get\ yourself\ to\ the\ bar\;\ there\ are\ all\ \nsorts\ of\ women\ out\ there\ waiting\ to\ take\ your\ money\ in\ exchange\ for\ a\ \npittance\ of\ shallow\ affection\n%\nChimpanzees\ start\ mating\ immediately\ after\ menstruation\ has\ begun\ or\ \nejaculation\ becomes\ possible.\ Considering\ that\ we\ are\ animals,\ maybe\ it\ \nwouldn't\ be\ strange\ for\ humans\ to\ start\ having\ sex\ at\ 12\ or\ 13.\n%\nTo\ most,\ it\ seems\ obvious\ that\ there\ is\ a\ God.\ If\ true,\ the\ universe\ has\ a\ \ndefinite\ purpose.\ God\ made\ science.\ The\ old\ flat\ earth\ and\ geocentric\ \nbeliefs\ prove\ that\ the\ scientific\ community\ has\ been\ wrong\ before,\ and\ could\ \nbe\ again.\ Because\ of\ insufficient\ evidence\ to\ produce\ an\ objective\ finding,\ \nmany\ scientists\ have\ realized\ that\ much\ more\ faith\ is\ required\ for\ \nDarwinism,\ than\ for\ Intelligent\ Design.\n%\nI\ went\ straight\ for\ the\ animation\ section\ in\ hopes\ of\ finding\ the\ newest\ \nPrince\ Picha\ Picha\ tape,\ but\ unfortunately\ found\ the\ aisle\ littered\ with\ \nshit\ like\ Yuko\ Hiba\ and\ Haldi\ Daldi\ Sucking\ a\ Penis.\ I\ go\ up\ to\ the\ stock\ \ngrunt\ that's\ in\ the\ aisle\ over\ and\ ask\ him\ why\ there\ are\ adult\ anime\ videos\ \ntaking\ up\ space\ in\ a\ family\ video\ store.\ He\ tells\ me\ to\ lower\ my\ voice,\ and\ \nI\ tell\ him\ not\ to\ disrespect\ me\ like\ that\ again.\ He\ tells\ me\ that\ if\ I\ talk\ \nback\ to\ him\ he'll\ have\ me\ thrown\ out\ of\ the\ store\ because\ he's\ the\ manager,\ \nso\ I\ lower\ my\ sunglasses,\ look\ him\ in\ the\ eye\ and\ say\ \"I\ guess\ you'll\ have\ \nto\ MANAGE\ this\"\ and\ hit\ him\ with\ a\ flurry\ of\ dragon\ punches\ straight\ in\ his\ \ngut.\ Then\ I\ grab\ him\ by\ his\ collar\ and\ lift\ him\ straight\ up\ in\ the\ air\ and\ \nask\ him\ where\ the\ Kimba\ the\ White\ Lion\ tapes\ are,\ he\ says\ love\ you\ man,\ i\ \nhad\ my\ man\ back\ there\ trigger\ the\ silent\ alarm.\ \"I\ may\ not\ be\ a\ lion,\ but\ \nhear\ my\ roar\"\ and\ I\ throw\ him\ 20\ feet\ in\ front\ of\ me\ into\ the\ cash\ register,\ \n\"You're\ due\ back\ in\ six\ days\".\ Three\ of\ his\ employees\ come\ running\ out\ of\ \nthe\ back\ room\ with\ nunchucks\ in\ their\ hands\ and\ I\ jump\ up\ on\ the\ counter,\ \nlatch\ onto\ the\ ceiling\ lights\ and\ twist\ their\ necks\ with\ my\ dangling\ legs\ \n\"Heh,\ talk\ about\ a\ light\ fixture\".\ I\ leave\ the\ store,\ hop\ into\ my\ red\ \ncamaro,\ and\ blaze\ off\ into\ the\ sunset\ as\ Moni\ Hima's\ Chiba\ Chiba\ Surprise\ \nplays\ on\ the\ radio.\n%\nWell,\ I\ walk\ in\ to\ buy\ some\ tissues,\ and\ at\ the\ counter,\ I\ hear\ the\ manager\ \ntalking\ about\ some\ skateboard\ punks\ in\ the\ back\ by\ the\ garbage\ bins.\ The\ guy\ \nsaid\ he\ was\ about\ to\ have\ to\ call\ the\ cops.\ I\ told\ him\ there's\ no\ need\ to,\ \nI'll\ take\ care\ of\ it\ myself.\ So,\ I\ walked\ to\ the\ back\ of\ the\ store,\ and\ lo\ \nand\ behold,\ a\ couple\ of\ good\ for\ nothings\ were\ tearing\ the\ place\ up.\ A\ \ncouple\ of\ them\ asked\ me\ what\ I\ was\ doing\ here,\ so\ I\ took\ of\ my\ shades,\ \nlooked\ them\ straight\ in\ eye,\ and\ said,\ \"\ Well\ boys,\ I'm\ here\ to\ take\ out\ the\ \ntrash,\ then\ I\ grabed\ one\ of\ their\ skateboards,\ and\ broke\ it\ over\ my\ knee.\ \nThen,\ one\ of\ them\ threw\ a\ punch\ at\ me.\ I\ caught\ it,\ and\ looked\ thr\ punk\ \nstraight\ in\ the\ eye,\ and\ said\ \"\ I'm\ afraid\ theres\ no\ need\ for\ you\ to\ be\ \nrecycled,\ then\ I\ threw\ him\ straight\ over\ my\ head\ into\ one\ of\ the\ garbage\ \ndumpsters.\ Then,\ the\ rest\ of\ the\ kids\ ran\ away\ in\ fear.\ I\ was\ glad\ I\ could\ \nhelp\ my\ community,\ and\ look\ good\ doing\ it.\n%\nSo,\ I\ bought\ a\ couple\ of\ dvds\ off\ some\ web\ site\ a\ few\ weeks\ ago\ and\ I\ was\ \npretty\ upset\ they\ haven't\ come\ in\ the\ mail\ already.\ So\ today\ I\ stuck\ around\ \nthe\ house\ until\ the\ mailman\ came,\ he\ brought\ me\ a\ package\ but\ it\ wasn't\ the\ \ndvds\ I\ was\ waiting\ for.\ I\ asked\ him\ what\ the\ problem\ was\ and\ he\ told\ me\ that\ \nhe\ had\ no\ control\ over\ when\ the\ company\ sends\ me\ the\ dvds.\ He\ said\ I\ should\ \ntry\ to\ contact\ them.\ That\ did\ it.\ I\ couldn't\ belive\ this\ guy,\ I\ pay\ my\ taxes\ \nand\ this\ guy\ thinks\ he\ has\ the\ right\ to\ sass\ me\ in\ front\ of\ my\ euro\ mansion,\ \nin\ my\ freaking\ driveway?\ I\ lifted\ up\ my\ shades,\ took\ the\ cigar\ out\ of\ my\ \nmouth,\ looked\ him\ straight\ in\ the\ eye\ and\ said\ \"\ I'm\ afraid\ this\ package\ is\ \nmarked\ return\ to\ sender\",\ and\ then\ I\ threw\ the\ package\ in\ the\ air\ and\ \nsidekicked\ the\ package\ right\ into\ the\ guys\ face\ causing\ teeth\ to\ go\ \neverywhere.\ I\ then\ saw\ one\ of\ my\ ederly\ neighbors\ walking\ toward\ me\ so\ I\ \nassumed\ he\ wanted\ trouble\ as\ well\ so\ I\ gave\ him\ a\ swift\ round\ kick\ to\ the\ \nribs,\ I\ then\ looked\ at\ him\ and\ said\ \"time\ to\ take\ out\ the\ garbage\"\ and\ hip\ \ntossed\ him\ into\ the\ garbage\ can.\ I\ then\ picked\ up\ the\ crying\ mailman\ and\ \nthrew\ him\ into\ the\ garbage\ can,\ after\ I\ had\ my\ \"garbage\ collected\",\ I\ picked\ \nup\ the\ garbage\ can\ and\ said\ \"let\ the\ good\ times\ roll\"\ and\ threw\ the\ garbage\ \ncan\ down\ the\ hill.\ I\ didn't\ see\ those\ two\ guys\ again\ but\ I\ don't\ really\ \ncare,\ I\ took\ the\ mailbag\ and\ threw\ it\ in\ my\ fireplace\ since\ it\ was\ a\ little\ \nchilly\ here\ today.\n%\nI\ was\ in\ town\ with\ one\ of\ my\ girlfriends\ today,\ and\ I\ decided\ to\ play\ one\ of\ \nthose\ scratch\ off\ games\ again,\ I\ was\ very\ suprised\ when\ I\ won\ 1\ million\ \ndollars\ on\ the\ spot,\ this\ was\ like\ the\ second\ time\ I\ won\ the\ lottery.\ I\ was\ \nabout\ to\ claim\ my\ prize\ but\ then\ I\ thought\ to\ myself\ I'm\ already\ rich\ why\ \nnot\ have\ some\ fun\ with\ this\ one?\ I\ told\ my\ girlfriend\ I\ was\ tired\ of\ her\ \nalready\ so\ I\ left\ her\ at\ the\ gas\ station\ and\ went\ to\ find\ me\ some\ poor\ \nsuckers.\ What\ better\ place\ than\ wal\ mart?\ I\ went\ up\ and\ down\ the\ aisles\ \nuntil\ I\ found\ a\ bad\ dressed\ man\ and\ wife\ along\ with\ their\ kid.\ I\ went\ up\ to\ \nthe\ guy\ and\ showed\ the\ guy\ the\ ticket,\ and\ told\ him\ since\ I\ didnt\ need\ the\ \nmoney\ I\ was\ going\ to\ give\ it\ to\ him\ and\ his\ family,\ when\ he\ started\ to\ tear\ \nup\ I\ tore\ up\ the\ ticket\ and\ threw\ the\ pieces\ on\ the\ ground.\ I\ then\ started\ \nto\ walk\ away\ but\ this\ spinless\ punk\ then\ took\ a\ swing\ at\ me\ when\ my\ back\ was\ \nturned.\ That\ did\ it.\ I\ turned\ around,\ took\ off\ my\ shades,\ looked\ him\ \nstraight\ in\ the\ eye\ and\ said\ \"feeling\ lucky\".\ I\ then\ gave\ him\ a\ swift\ kick\ \nin\ the\ ribs\ and\ threw\ him\ into\ the\ pet\ section,\ I\ then\ caught\ a\ wal\ mart\ guy\ \ncoming\ at\ me\ so\ I\ took\ a\ knife\ out\ of\ my\ jacket\ and\ threw\ it\ toward\ a\ chain\ \nholding\ up\ a\ sign,\ I\ then\ looked\ at\ the\ guy\ and\ said\ \"watch\ out\ for\ falling\ \nprices\"\ and\ then\ the\ sign\ fell\ on\ him\ and\ knocked\ him\ out.\ I\ left\ the\ store\ \nbut\ not\ before\ I\ complained\ to\ the\ manager\ about\ the\ kind\ of\ people\ they\ let\ \nin\ there.\n%\nSo\ I\ was\ sitting\ in\ the\ back\ corner\ of\ eat\ �n\ park\ a\ restaurant\ in\ the\ \nnortheastern\ region\ and\ I\ hear\ this\ group\ of\ punk\ kids\ terrorizing\ their\ \nwaitress,\ and\ I\ stumble\ over\ there\ and\ ask\ the\ beautiful\ lady\ what\ the\ \nproblem\ seems\ to\ be.\ The\ kids\ being\ the\ adept\ punks\ they\ are\ give\ her\ a\ \nglare\ that\ tells\ her\ not\ to\ talk\ or\ else\ therell\ be\ problems\ but\ I\ know\ \nbetter\ than\ this\ and\ I\ tell\ them\ that\ if\ they\ don�t\ apologize\ to\ this\ \nbeautiful\ belle\ theyre\ going\ to\ have\ to\ answer\ to\ me.\ I\ pull\ my\ shades\ out\ \nof\ my\ back\ pocket,\ slip\ a\ comb\ through\ my\ wet\ hair,\ and\ tell\ them\ they\ have\ \n10\ seconds\ to\ apologize.\ The\ leader\ of\ the\ gang\ a\ chubby\ kid\ tells\ me\ to\ get\ \nloss\ and\ then\ throws\ the\ peg\ game\ on\ his\ table\ at\ my\ face.\ �I\ pegged\ you\ as\ \nthe\ wise\ sort,\ and\ I\ don�t\ play\ games!�\ says\ I,\ and\ I\ grab\ a\ tonfa\ from\ the\ \ncop\ sitting\ at\ the\ table\ next\ to\ them\ and\ tell\ them\ today�s\ special,\ punks\ \nserved\ sunny\ side\ up,\ with\ a\ side\ of\ hollandaise.\ I\ crack\ the\ tonfa\ over\ two\ \npunk\ heads,\ do\ a\ roundkick,\ and\ then\ hiptoss\ the\ runt\ of\ the\ crew\ into\ the\ \npie\ fridge.\ �Creamed\ or\ Key\ Limed?\ �\ I\ ask\ the\ cop\ as\ he\ slips\ me\ a\ fiver\ \nand\ gives\ me\ a\ back\ high\ five.\ He\ tells\ me\ Ive\ done\ a\ good\ job\ as\ a\ citizen,\ \nand\ I\ kiss\ the\ beautiful\ waitress\ on\ the\ cheek,\ run\ my\ comb\ through\ my\ hair\ \nonce\ more\ and\ leave\ the\ restaurant\ on\ my\ harley.\n%\nIt\ was\ a\ nice\ day\ today\ so\ I\ went\ for\ a\ walk\ outside.\ As\ I\ was\ walking,\ I\ \nheard\ somebody\ crying\ out\ in\ pain\ so\ I\ went\ to\ investigate,\ when\ I\ turned\ \nthe\ corner\ I\ saw\ a\ kid\ that\ had\ fallen\ off\ his\ bike\ and\ he\ was\ grabbing\ his\ \nleg\ and\ crying.\ There\ was\ this\ guy\ already\ there\ and\ he\ told\ me\ that\ he\ was\ \na\ doctor\ and\ he\ thought\ this\ kid\ had\ a\ broken\ leg.\ I\ could\ tell\ this\ guy\ was\ \nlying\ because\ he\ didn't\ have\ any\ white\ coat,\ I\ don't\ like\ liars\ so\ I\ pushed\ \nhim\ out\ of\ the\ way.\ My\ training\ in\ medical\ school\ showed\ me\ that\ I\ had\ to\ \nget\ the\ kid's\ leg\ straight\ again,\ so\ I\ started\ pounding\ his\ knee\ to\ get\ the\ \nbone\ straight\ again.\ Thats\ when\ the\ guy\ that\ claimed\ to\ be\ a\ \"doctor\"\ called\ \nme\ a\ moron\ and\ pushed\ me\ out\ of\ the\ way.\ Well\ that\ did\ it.\ I\ got\ up,\ took\ my\ \nshades\ off,\ looked\ him\ straight\ in\ the\ eye\ and\ said\ \"\ open\ wide\ doc\"\ and\ \nthen\ I\ gave\ him\ a\ swift\ kick\ to\ the\ mouth.\ I\ then\ grabbed\ him\ and\ said\ \"time\ \nto\ make\ a\ house\ call\ \"\ and\ then\ I\ threw\ him\ through\ a\ window\ of\ a\ near\ by\ \nhouse.\ The\ kid\ stopped\ crying\ then,\ I\ guess\ my\ pounding\ earlier\ worked.\ I\ \ntold\ the\ kid\ not\ to\ thank\ me\ but\ I\ did\ need\ 20\ dollars\ for\ my\ time.\ He\ only\ \nhad\ 14\ so\ I\ took\ his\ bike\ as\ well.\ I\ feel\ pretty\ good\ about\ fixing\ the\ kid's\ \nleg.\n%\nMe\ and\ my\ friend\ went\ to\ fill\ up\ my\ corvette\ last\ night\ and\ there\ were\ these\ \ntwo\ punks\ there\ sitting\ on\ the\ sidewalk\ of\ the\ gas\ station\ with\ their\ radio\ \nblasting.\ I\ was\ trying\ to\ think\ as\ I\ pumped\ gas\ but\ their\ radio\ made\ that\ \nhard\ to\ do.\ I\ was\ not\ pleased.\ So\ I\ went\ in\ and\ payed\ for\ the\ gas\ and\ then\ I\ \nwent\ up\ to\ the\ two\ punks\ outside.\ I\ said\ excuse\ me\ but\ I\ think\ you\ need\ to\ \nturn\ your\ radio\ down.\ They\ told\ me\ to\ chill,\ they\ were\ just\ hanging\ out\ and\ \nhaving\ a\ few\ smokes.\ I\ then\ looked\ them\ in\ the\ eye\ and\ said\ \"\ I'm\ afraid\ \nthis\ is\ the\ no\ smoking\ section\ boys\"\ and\ then\ I\ kicked\ their\ radio\ up\ \nagainst\ the\ side\ of\ the\ gas\ station.\ Then\ one\ of\ them\ stood\ up\ and\ took\ a\ \nswing\ at\ me,\ I\ ducked\ it\ and\ then\ gave\ him\ a\ roundhouse\ kick\ to\ the\ stomach.\ \nThen\ the\ other\ one\ took\ what\ was\ left\ of\ the\ radio\ and\ threw\ it\ at\ me,\ I\ \nblocked\ it\ with\ my\ left\ hand\ which\ caused\ it\ to\ go\ sailing\ back\ and\ knock\ \nhim\ out.\ Then\ a\ middle\ aged\ man\ which\ looked\ to\ be\ in\ his\ 50's\ came\ up\ and\ \nasked\ what\ was\ going\ on.\ I\ wasn't\ sure\ if\ he\ was\ with\ me\ or\ against\ me\ so\ I\ \nassumed\ he\ was\ against\ me,\ I\ then\ gave\ him\ a\ swift\ front\ kick\ to\ the\ groin\ \nand\ hip\ tossed\ him\ on\ top\ of\ the\ other\ guys\ there.\ I\ then\ walked\ back\ to\ my\ \ncar\ where\ my\ friend\ just\ stood\ there\ in\ awe,\ I\ asked\ him\ why\ he\ didn't\ help\ \nme\ and\ he\ said\ it\ looked\ like\ I\ had\ things\ under\ control.\ I\ slapped\ him\ and\ \npushed\ him\ to\ the\ ground\ and\ told\ him\ to\ walk\ home.\ I\ then\ got\ in\ my\ \ncorvette\ turned\ up\ the\ radio\ to\ full\ blast\ and\ much\ to\ my\ suprise\ welcome\ to\ \nthe\ jungle\ was\ playing.\ I\ then\ sped\ off\ with\ that\ song\ playing\ full\ blast.\ I\ \nfelt\ pretty\ good\ about\ standing\ up\ for\ my\ rights\ and\ I\ looked\ good\ doing\ it.\n%\nSo,\ I\ was\ at\ work\ yesterday,\ and\ I\ happened\ to\ walk\ by\ this\ guy's\ desk.\ I\ \nnoticed\ on\ his\ computer\ screen\ that\ he\ had\ his\ personal\ E-mails\ pulled\ up.\ I\ \nasked\ him\ who\ he\ thought\ he\ was\ to\ do\ this\ on\ company\ time,\ and\ then,\ he\ \ntold\ me\ that\ his\ daughter\ was\ sick\ at\ home,\ so\ he\ was\ checking\ up\ on\ her.\ I\ \nthen\ punched\ his\ computer\ screen\ out,\ and\ Look\ him\ straight\ in\ the\ eye\ and\ \nsaid,\ \"\ Who\ do\ you\ think\ I\ am?\ Jerry\ Lewis?\ I\ dont\ want\ to\ hear\ your\ sob\ \nstory,\ so\ get\ back\ to\ work\ before\ I\ get\ you\ fired.\"\ He\ then\ said\ a\ few\ \ncusswords,\ and\ then,\ then\ He\ tried\ to\ punch\ me,\ I\ blocked\ it,\ then\ ,\ I\ gave\ \nhim\ a\ swift,\ round\ kick\ to\ the\ groin.\ I\ asked\ him\ if\ he\ wanted\ some\ more,\ \nand\ he\ came\ at\ me,\ again,\ so,\ I\ slapped\ him,\ then\ I\ hip\ tossed\ him\ into\ the\ \nnearest\ filing\ cabinent.\ I\ looked\ Over\ my\ should\ at\ anther\ worker\ who\ was\ \nstanding\ near\ by,\ and\ I\ said....\"\ File\ him\ under\ G.....\ for\ garbage.\"\ \nNeedless\ to\ say,\ I\ was\ quite\ pleased,\ because\ now,\ that\ means\ there\ one\ less\ \nperson\ in\ the\ company\ for\ people\ to\ look\ at.\ All\ eyes\ should\ be\ on\ me.\ I'm\ a\ \nstud.\n%\nMe\ and\ one\ of\ my\ friends\ went\ out\ today\ for\ some\ dinner\ so\ we\ stopped\ at\ a\ \npretty\ nice\ restaurant.\ I\ don't\ smoke\ and\ most\ of\ the\ time\ I\ sit\ in\ the\ non\ \nsmoking\ section\ but\ I\ didn't\ feel\ like\ walking\ to\ the\ back\ of\ the\ restaurant\ \ntoday\ so\ me\ and\ my\ friend\ sat\ at\ the\ first\ table\ we\ came\ to\ in\ the\ smoking\ \nsection.\ Since\ most\ ppl\ should\ be\ aware\ that\ I\ don't\ smoke\ I\ didn't\ think\ I\ \nwould\ have\ any\ problems.\ I\ was\ wrong.\ This\ jerk\ lit\ up\ a\ cigarette\ right\ \nnext\ to\ me.\ I\ couldn't\ belive\ this\ fat\ jerk\ was\ disrepecting\ me\ like\ this\ so\ \nI\ turned\ around\ and\ looked\ him\ right\ in\ the\ eye\ and\ said\ \"\ you\ might\ want\ to\ \nput\ that\ out\ fag..........That\ is,if\ you\ value\ your\ health\".\ The\ guy\ said\ a\ \ncouple\ of\ cuss\ words\ and\ told\ me\ to\ go\ to\ the\ non\ smoking\ section.\ Well\ that\ \ndid\ it.\ I\ got\ up\ went\ over\ to\ the\ table\ and\ said\ \"excuse\ me\ fag\ but\ you\ \ndidn't\ clean\ your\ plate\",\ and\ then\ I\ took\ his\ plate\ and\ bashed\ him\ over\ the\ \nhead\ with\ it.\ Then\ his\ friend\ that\ was\ with\ him\ got\ up\ and\ took\ a\ swing\ at\ \nme,\ I\ ducked\ it\ and\ then\ gave\ him\ a\ swift\ round\ kick\ to\ the\ ribs.\ I\ then\ hip\ \ntossed\ him\ on\ the\ table\ and\ then\ I\ turned\ around\ and\ looked\ one\ of\ the\ \nwaiters\ right\ in\ the\ eye\ and\ said\ \"this\ orders\ to\ go\"\ and\ then\ I\ tossed\ the\ \ntable\ with\ the\ guy\ on\ it\ a\ good\ 14\ feet\ across\ the\ room.\ As\ me\ and\ my\ friend\ \nwere\ storming\ out\ the\ manager\ apologized\ to\ us\ but\ I\ told\ him\ it\ was\ too\ \nlate\ as\ I\ would\ never\ eat\ there\ again.\n%\nHah,\ then\ you're\ depriving\ yourself\ of\ one\ of\ life's\ simple\ pleasures.\ \nPicture\ a\ cool\ Saturday\ evening..\ lights\ down\ low,\ the\ sun\ is\ setting,\ Mom\ \nwent\ out\ with\ her\ friends.\ You\ have\ a\ slice\ of\ pizza\ in\ one\ hand,\ a\ Guinness\ \nin\ the\ other,\ and\ a\ fresh\ Gentoo\ install\ on\ two\ screens\ in\ front\ of\ you.\ \nNothing\ quite\ like\ it,\ my\ friend.\n%\nI\ came\ home\ this\ afternoon\ after\ picking\ up\ my\ copy\ of\ gta\ and\ I\ smelled\ \nsomething\ funny\ from\ my\ neighbors\ house.\ I\ went\ over\ there\ and\ the\ door\ was\ \nunlocked\ so\ I\ went\ right\ in.\ Sure\ enough\ there\ was\ my\ neighbor\ and\ two\ of\ \nhis\ friends\ smoking\ to\ their\ hearts\ content.\ I\ told\ them\ they\ had\ two\ \noptions,\ one-\ they\ could\ put\ the\ joints\ out\ or\ two-\ I\ would\ put\ the\ joints\ \nout\ for\ them.\ My\ neighbor\ had\ run\ ins\ with\ me\ before\ so\ he\ knew\ I\ meant\ \nbusiness\ so\ he\ threw\ his\ joint\ down\ and\ told\ me\ to\ leave.\ I\ said\ you\ made\ a\ \nwise\ choice\ but\ I'm\ still\ calling\ the\ cops\ and\ then\ I\ turned\ to\ leave.\ My\ \nneighbor\ then\ got\ up\ off\ the\ couch\ got\ behind\ me\ and\ said\ a\ few\ cuss\ words\ \nand\ told\ me\ to\ mind\ my\ business.\ \ His\ other\ friend\ ran\ into\ the\ kitchen\ so\ I\ \nwent\ after\ him.\ He\ was\ in\ the\ corner\ crying\ so\ I\ said\ \"this\ is\ your\ brain\"\ \nand\ then\ I\ grabbed\ a\ frying\ pan\ and\ said\ \"this\ is\ your\ brain\ on\ drugs\"\ and\ \nthen\ I\ hit\ him\ in\ the\ head\ as\ hard\ as\ I\ could\ with\ the\ frying\ pan.\ \ After\ \nthat\ I\ called\ the\ cops\ and\ they\ came\ over\ and\ arrested\ my\ neighbor\ and\ his\ \nfriends.\ As\ I\ was\ leaving\ the\ sarge\ shouted\ out\ to\ me\ thanks.\ I\ then\ threw\ \nmy\ shades\ on\ the\ ground\ to\ let\ him\ know\ I\ meant\ business.\ I\ feel\ pretty\ good\ \nabout\ what\ I\ did\ for\ my\ neighborhood\ today.\n%\nThis\ thread\ is\ just\ a\ remake\ of\ a\ thread\ I\ read\ months\ ago\ on\ an\ exclusive\ \nforum\ you're\ too\ poor\ to\ have\ even\ heard\ of,\ which\ counts\ among\ its\ members\ \nsuch\ superstars\ as\ Tiesto,\ Paul\ Van\ Dyk,\ Kenny\ Loggins,\ and\ Afrikaa\ \nBambaataa.\ Maybe\ someday\ you\ can\ come\ up\ with\ something\ original.\n%\nI\ have\ like\ 50,000\ shells/vhosts/bncs.\ Bans\ won't\ do\ a\ thing\ except\ fill\ \nyour\ list.\ And\ 'get\ to\ where\ i\ am\ today'\ is\ a\ sad\ testament\ to\ your\ life\ \napparently.\ On\ a\ side\ note,\ I\ used\ to\ op\ other\ chans\ that\ are\ far\ bigger\ \nthan\ this\ chan.\ I\ didn't\ get\ ops\ by\ k/b'ing\ everyone\ in\ sight\ or\ anyone\ that\ \ncarried\ a\ touch\ of\ annoyance\ to\ me.\ I\ reserved\ k/bs\ for\ spammers\ and\ \nflooders,\ that's\ it.\ Everyone\ else\ I\ /ignored\n%\nSwadi\ Ghilan's\ two\ sons\ were\ dropping\ their\ sister\ off\ at\ high\ school\ \nearlier\ this\ year\ when\ a\ carload\ of\ Sunni\ Muslim\ insurgents\ pulled\ up\ and\ \nemptied\ their\ AK-47s\ into\ their\ bodies.\ In\ broad\ daylight\ his\ children\ were\ \ntorn\ to\ pieces,\ their\ blood\ splashed\ against\ the\ windshield\ as\ they\ screamed\ \nand\ died\ ohh\ yeah\n%\nexcuse\ me,\ but\ i\ politely\ ask\ you\ to\ cease\ your\ torpid\ attempts\ at\ \nmanifesting\ versimilitude\ through\ your\ crude\ preferences\ of\ internet\ \nlexicon.\ my\ comprehension\ of\ the\ english\ language\ is\ brobdingnagian,\ \neffortlessly\ micrifying\ your\ picayune\ and\ odious\ disposition,\ of\ which\ has\ \nalready\ saturated\ me\ with\ a\ pullulating\ impression\ of\ ennui\ coupled\ with\ \nexecration.\ good\ day.\n%\nSome\ advice\ to\ you\ gentoo\ users\ out\ there:\ Why\ don't\ you\ emerge\ yourself\ \nfrom\ that\ closet\ already\ you\ damn\ homo.\n%\nMy\ computer\ typing\ skills\ surpass\ any\ of\ your\ so\ called\ 'talents'.\ I\ can\ \ntype\ 'internet\ relay\ chat'\ in\ the\ time\ it\ takes\ you\ to\ type\ 'IRC'\ (by\ the\ \nway,\ acronyms\ are\ so\ pass�).\ I\ have\ 6\ custom\ developed\ Das\ Keyboards\ \nprogrammed\ to\ a\ vast\ array\ of\ languages.\ They\ are\ strategically\ placed\ \nacross\ my\ 3\ tier,\ Mahogany\ desktop\ that\ I\ had\ customed\ ordered\ from\ France.\ \nI\ can\ communicate\ with\ 3\ different\ people\ simultanously\ while\ coding\ the\ \nREADME\ updates\ for\ my\ unix\ distribution.\ Did\ I\ mention\ I\ have\ the\ all-time\ \nhigh\ score\ on\ Mavis\ Beacon?\ You\ have\ nothing\ on\ my\ impressive\ typing\ skills.\ \nThought\ so.\n%\nThe\ way\ I\ look\ at\ it,\ you\ atheists\ are\ basically\ like\ this:\ \"Look\ at\ me,\ \nworld...I\ can\ debunk\ your\ faith\ in\ God\ and\ leave\ you\ applauding\ my\ \nperception\ and\ intelligence\ to\ bring\ forth\ the\ truth.\"\ Sorry,\ I've\ already\ \nforgotten\ your\ name,\ \ but\ the\ name\ of\ God\ will\ stand\ forever.\n%\nI\ am\ pleased\ to\ announce\ that,\ in\ addition\ to\ having\ spotless\ tiles\ and\ \ngrout\ in\ my\ bathroom,\ my\ hands\ are\ several\ orders\ of\ magnitude\ cleaner\ than\ \nyours.\ My\ fingernails\ all\ but\ sparkle\ in\ the\ daylight,\ due\ to\ their\ highly\ \npolished\ status.\ Upon\ examination\ under\ a\ scanning\ electron\ microscope,\ you\ \nwill\ notice\ that\ the\ crevices\ of\ my\ hands\ are\ quite\ literally\ free\ of\ germs\ \nor\ other\ bacterial\ growths.\ Your\ hands,\ in\ comparison,\ are\ a\ veritable\ \nwasteland\ of\ urine,\ dust\ mites,\ blood\ mixed\ feces,\ skin\ cells,\ and\ pet\ \ndander.\ Your\ hygiene\ cannot\ even\ begin\ to\ compare\ to\ mine.\ Good\ day.\n%\nA\ military-grade\ GPS\ transponder\ is\ integrated\ into\ my\ brilliant\ blue\ HUD\ \nwhich\ is\ projected\ stereoscopically\ onto\ the\ inside\ of\ my\ windshield\ giving\ \nthe\ effect\ of\ a\ gentle,\ and\ indeed\ quite\ entrancing,\ box\ of\ luminous\ \ninformation\ about\ my\ own\ decadence\ floating\ 10-15\ meters\ in\ front\ of\ my\ \nexquisite\ sedan.\ Good\ day.\n%\nOverweight,\ rubber-faced\ men\ lurking\ near\ commercial\ business\ centers\ or\ \nshopping\ mall\ food\ courts\ during\ the\ morning\ hours?\ Stay\ away\ from\ these\ \npeople,\ they\ could\ be\ hamburglars.\n%\nPeople\ totally\ underestimate\ children's\ sexuality.\ Did\ you\ know\ even\ babies\ \ncan\ get\ erections?\n%\nThat\ 'I\ work\ my\ ass\ off'\ shit\ is\ so\ 90's.\ Here\ in\ the\ 0's\ robots\ do\ our\ \nwork,\ Cletus.\ Get\ the\ fuck\ back\ to\ Amish\ country\ with\ that\ work\ ethic\ shit.\n%\nMy\ blog\ is\ utterly\ inundated\ with\ trackbacks\ from\ across\ the\ globe.\ Past\ \ncommenters\ on\ my\ posts\ include\ U2\ frontman\ Bono,\ His\ Majesty\ King\ Mohammed\ \nIV\ of\ Morocco,\ and\ former\ UN\ Secretary-General\ Boutros-Boutros\ Ghali.\ I've\ \nwritten\ over\ three\ thousand\ mind-stimulating\ and\ thought\ provoking\ entries\ \ndating\ back\ to\ 1995,\ and\ I've\ received\ over\ ten\ million\ comments,\ all\ from\ \nunique\ ip\ ranges.There\ has\ never\ been\ a\ single\ spam\ comment\ post\ that\ lasted\ \nmore\ than\ 0.25\ seconds\ due\ to\ superior\ spam\ detection\ software\ which\ I\ have\ \nwritten\ myself\ and\ ported\ to\ several\ popular\ blogging\ packages.\ You\ cannot\ \neven\ begin\ to\ compare\ to\ me.\n%\nSorry\ to\ burst\ your\ musical\ bubble,\ but\ the\ bands\ you\ listen\ to\ were\ \noverwhelmingly\ influenced\ by\ the\ bands\ I\ listened\ to\ four\ years\ ago.\ Try\ to\ \nkeep\ up.\n%\nMy\ musical\ interests\ are\ so\ vast\ i\ cannot\ even\ begin\ to\ explain\ them\ using\ a\ \nkeyboard.\ Go\ back\ to\ reading\ Pitchfork\ everyday\ trying\ to\ find\ the\ song\ that\ \ndescribes\ your\ life\ to\ a\ T\;\ it\ won't\ be\ hard\ I'm\ sure.\n%\nExcuse\ me,\ but\ that\ troll\ you\ just\ pasted\ is\ over\ ten\ years\ old\;\ i've\ \nperused\ my\ logs\ and\ found\ myself\ referencing\ said\ troll\ over\ two\ hundred\ \ntimes.\ Thank\ you.\n%\nYou\ see\ that\ crystal\ salt\ cellar\ in\ my\ Amazon\ wish-list?\ That\ will\ set\ you\ \nback\ \$27,000\ at\ Hammacher-Schlemmer.\ Incidentally,\ I\ own\ four.\ Go\ back\ to\ \nyour\ Livejournal\ and\ post\ about\ ordering\ twenty\ five\ cent\ Chinese\ Food\ \ntakeout\ with\ your\ drunken\ frat\ friends\;\ you're\ quite\ out\ of\ your\ element\ \nhere.\n%\nMy\ digital\ music\ library\ is\ vast\ and\ unrivaled,\ consisting\ of\ only\ the\ most\ \npristine\ lossless\ audio\ files\ ripped\ from\ the\ original\ DAT/DDS\ recordings\ \n(with\ pre-mixdown\ and\ pre-master\ sister\ copies,\ of\ course).\ My\ inside\ \nsources\ supply\ me\ with\ copies\ of\ the\ newest\ albums\ before\ even\ the\ artists\ \nthemselves\ have\ heard\ the\ final\ cuts.\ Incidentally,\ you've\ never\ heard\ of\ \n99%\ of\ these\ bands,\ nor\ could\ you\ ever\ hope\ to\ comprehend\ their\ genius\ nor\ \nappreciate\ their\ obscurity.\n%\nGuys\ that\ are\ uncircumcised\ are\ repulsive\ to\ me.\ People\ go\ in\ and\ out\ of\ \npublic\ washrooms\ so\ fast\ you\ know\ they\ didn't\ wash\ their\ hands\ with\ soap.\ \nCan\ only\ imagine\ how\ much\ stinky\ smeg\ must\ be\ down\ there.\ There\ was\ one\ guy\ \nI\ was\ with\ that\ was\ uncut.\ He\ was\ only\ four\ inches\ and\ that\ didnt\ last.\ The\ \nfirst\ to\ say\ it\ doesnt\ matter\ are\ small\ men.\ Its\ brilliant\ luck\ the\ guys\ \nI've\ been\ with\ have\ been\ 8-10\ inches\ so\ far.\ Uncut\ is\ such\ an\ aversion,\ it\ \nmakes\ me\ want\ to\ ask\ right\ away\ to\ weed\ them\ out.\n%\ni\ tried\ to\ commit\ suicide\ so\ i\ took\ a\ bunch\ of\ pills\ but\ i\ was\ upset\ when\ \nthe\ pills\ i\ thought\ said\ \"die\"\ actually\ said\ \"diet\"\ :((\ i\ lost\ 5lbs\ tho\ :)))\n%\nI\ use\ the\ latest\ versions\ of\ Adobe\ Photoshop\ as\ soon\ as\ they\ are\ released.\ I\ \nhave\ 5\ versions\ of\ Macromedia\ Flash\ installed\ on\ my\ computer.\ My\ computer\ \nsyncs\ with\ many\ 'blogs'\ to\ find\ out\ the\ latest\ release\ information\ on\ new\ \nproducts\ that\ I\ immediately\ download\ from\ a\ p2p\ (Peer\ To\ Peer)\ server\ which\ \nI\ have\ exclusive\ access\ to.\ I\ am\ a\ website\ designer\;\ I\ also\ do\ myspace\ \nwebsite\ designs\ with\ skillful\ grace.\ I\ listen\ to\ a\ lot\ of\ indie\ music\ but\ I\ \nwas\ the\ original\ indie\ fan\ before\ it\ sold\ out\ and\ got\ popular.\ I\ also\ like\ \nemo\ (emotional)\ music.\ I\ went\ on\ a\ drug\ binge\ when\ I\ was\ 16\ and\ lost\ my\ \nvirginity\ to\ a\ truck\ driver\ behind\ a\ Pak'n'Save.\ Brb,\ I\ gotta\ cut\ myself.\ Do\ \nyou\ want\ to\ see\ my\ blog?\ PS.\ How\ do\ I\ make\ those\ clouds?\n%\nYou\ know\ what\ pushes\ my\ buttons?\ You\ know\ what\ makes\ my\ bubbles\ pop?\ You\ \nknow\ what\ raises\ the\ hairs\ on\ my\ ass?\ You\ know\ what\ tickles\ my\ fancy?\ You\ \nknow\ what\ thaws\ my\ ice\ cubes?\ You\ know\ what\ gets\ my\ cripples\ standing?\ You\ \nknow\ what\ formats\ my\ hard\ drive?\ You\ know\ what\ drains\ my\ fluids?\ You\ know\ \nwhat\ ticks\ my\ clock?\ You\ know\ what\ shoots\ my\ target?\ You\ know\ what\ \nneutralizes\ my\ pathogenic\ agents?\ You\ know\ how\ much\ I\ paid\ to\ get\ you\ into\ \ncollege?\ You\ little\ shit.\n%\nGentlemen,\ \ I\ am\ pleased\ to\ announce\ that\ in\ addition\ to\ having\ leech\ access\ \nto\ the\ most\ elite\ 0-day\ courier\ FTPs,\ I\ have\ thousands\ of\ shell\ accounts,\ \neach\ of\ which\ are\ capable\ of\ running\ an\ unlimited\ number\ of\ processes\ with\ \neggdrop/IRC\ support.\ \ My\ botnet\ is\ unfathomably\ large.\nI\ have\ access\ to\ hundreds\ witty\ IRC\ vhosts,\ using\ every\ existing\ TLD.\ \ I\ \nconnect\ to\ them\ using\ an\ unreleased\ version\ of\ mIRC\ with\ every\ feature\ you\ \ncould\ possibly\ desire,\ including\ the\ most\ powerful\ WARTOOLS.\ \ This\ is\ all\ \npowered\ by\ my\ \$5,000\ premium\ Dell\ computer\ system.\ You\ cannot\ even\ begin\ to\ \ncompare\ to\ me.\n%\nTHE\ PURPOSE\ OF\ LANGUAGE\ IS\ COMMUNICATION\ AND\ IF\ YOU\ CAN\ UNDERSTAND\ IT\ \nDESPITE\ SPELLING/GRAMMAR\ FLAWS\ AND\ YOU\ ARE\ ABLE\ TO\ CORRECT\ IT\ THEN\ SAID\ \nCOMMUNICATION\ WAS\ EFFECTIVE\ AND\ YOU\ ARE\ A\ FAGGOT.\n%\nSo\ I\ was\ having\ lunch\ with\ my\ good\ friend\ Jerry\ Bruckheimer\ at\ a\ local\ \nrestraunt,\ and\ we\ were\ discussing\ Top\ Gun.\ One\ thing\ that\ struck\ me\ about\ \nTop\ Gun\ that\ I\ never\ really\ knew\ why\ Goose\ died.\ So\ Jerry,\ or\ Jerr-Bear\ as\ \nhe's\ known\ by\ his\ friends,\ let\ me\ in\ on\ a\ little\ secret.\ He\ told\ me\ that\ at\ \nthe\ time\ of\ Goose's\ death,\ he\ was\ chewing\ gum\ and\ that\ the\ excessive\ juice\ \nthat\ was\ being\ excreted\ from\ his\ chewing\ the\ gum\ caused\ him\ to\ lose\ control\ \nand\ die.\ And\ this\ just\ wasn't\ any\ chewing\ gum,\ it\ was\ Bubblicious.\ And\ this\ \njust\ wasn't\ any\ Bubblicious\ flavor,\ it\ was\ a\ flavor\ called\ Lebron\ James'\ \nLoopy\ Lemonade\ gum.\ So\ if\ you\ see\ this\ flavor\ of\ gum\ at\ the\ stores,\ please\ \ndo\ not\ buy\ it\ because\ it\ killed\ Goose.\n%\nis\ it\ possible\ i\ could\ have\ bought\ a\ bootleg\ pci\ sata\ card?\ \ it\ says\ \nsiclicon\ image\ 3112\ but\ its\ not\ working\ right\ and\ the\ bios\ has\ grammar\ \nerrors.\ \ wtf?\n%\nAnyone\ who\ says\ \"F/OSS\"\ is\ a\ tool.\ \ Free\ software\ hates\ Open\ Source\ because\ \nOpen\ Source\ is\ the\ little\ sell\ out\ movement\ that\ doesn't\ give\ a\ fuck\ about\ \nthe\ ideals.\ \ \ It's\ like\ True\ vs.\ Nu\ metal.\ Stop\ associating\ Free\ Software\ \neven\ remotely\ with\ Open\ Source\ because\ those\ of\ us\ in\ the\ Free\ Software\ \nmovement\ probably\ hate\ you.\n%\nI\ scoff\ at\ your\ claim\ that\ your\ windows\ environment\ can\ even\ begin\ to\ \ncompare\ to\ mine.\ I\ have\ thousands\ upon\ thousands\ of\ fonts,\ and\ my\ wallpaper\ \nis\ a\ massive\ 2GB\ at\ a\ whopping\ 14,000\ dpi\ in\ glorious\ 128-bit\ color.\ My\ \nonscreen\ text\ is\ antialiased\ with\ the\ latest\ ClearType\ technology,\ and\ \nremains\ brilliantly\ legible\ even\ behind\ 10,\ nay,\ 20\ transparent\ window\ \npanes.\ Clicking\ my\ Start\ button\ triggers\ a\ fanfare\ and\ a\ choir\ of\ haunting\ \nangelic\ voices\ as\ you\ stagger\ back\ in\ awe\ of\ my\ stunning\ 45,000\ item\ Start\ \nMenu.\n%\nThis\ is\ discrimination!\ \ Just\ because\ I\ have\ a\ -job-\ I\ should\ have\ tax\ \ndollars\ taken\ away\ from\ me\ and\ given\ to\ slovenly\ brutish\ underclass,\ who\ \nrefuse\ to\ work\ and\ instead\ attempt\ to\ mug\ me\ every\ time\ I\ pick\ up\ a\ male\ \nprostitute\ downtown??\n%\none\ time\ i\ was\ in\ my\ friends\ bathroom\ taking\ a\ shit\ and\ i\ was\ reading\ a\ \nmaxim\ magazine\ that\ was\ by\ the\ toilet\ and\ saw\ some\ semi\ nude\ shots\ of\ some\ \nmodel\ (i\ dont\ even\ remember\ who)\ and\ i\ had\ the\ sudden\ urge\ to\ masturbate.\ i\ \ncontinued\ to\ do\ so\ and\ cleaned\ up\ and\ went\ out\ as\ if\ nothing\ happened.\ \ it\ \nwas\ exhilarating\ and\ i\ wanted\ to\ do\ it\ again.\ so\ i\ did.\ several\ times.\ i\ \neven\ asked\ to\ use\ his\ shower\ so\ i\ could\ secretly\ masturbate\ in\ there.\ i\ like\ \ndoing\ this\ because\ it's\ a\ top\ secret\ that\ only\ i\ know,\ and\ i\ can\ laugh\ about\ \nstuff\ and\ no\ one\ will\ ever\ know.\ i\ also\ like\ to\ masturbate\ on\ days\ in\ which\ \nkey\ events\ happened.\ 9/11\ being\ my\ TOP\ yearly\ ritual.\ \"never\ forget\"\ about\ \nchristmas\ and\ thanksgiving.\ sometimes\ mark-paul\ gosselaar's\ birthday\ when\ i\ \ncan\ remember\ it.\n%\nRecently,\ as\ a\ reward\ for\ getting\ straight\ 'A's\ I\ took\ my\ son\ to\ a\ CompUSA\ \nand\ told\ him\ he\ could\ have\ any\ computer\ he\ wanted.\ Imagine\ my\ disgust\ when\ \nhe\ selected\ a\ mac\ mini.\ It's\ as\ if\ I\ took\ him\ to\ a\ whorehouse\ for\ his\ first\ \nlay\ and\ he\ wound\ up\ getting\ head\ from\ the\ bouncer.\ Where\ did\ I\ fail\ as\ a\ \nfather?\n%\nPepsi\ generation\ refers\ to\ the\ generation\ of\ free\ radicals\ in\ your\ system\ \nwhen\ you\ imbibe\ this\ caustic\ brew.\ Parents,\ if\ you\ have\ any\ regard\ for\ the\ \nhealth\ of\ your\ children,\ do\ not\ allow\ them\ to\ drink\ this\ devil\ beverage\ \nwhich\ promotes\ among\ other\ ills:\ skateboarding,\ loud\ music,\ drug\ (caffine)\ \nuse,\ disrespect\ to\ elders,\ race\ mixing\ and\ in\ general,\ the\ kind\ of\ eXtreme\ \nliving\ expressly\ forbid\ by\ the\ our\ lord\ and\ savior,\ Mohammed\ in\ the\ holy\ \nKorang.\ (PBUH)\n%\nI\ was\ recently\ made\ the\ victim\ of\ an\ ICMP\ \"flood\".\ \ After\ hurricane\ Katrina,\ \nit\ is\ inexcusable\ that\ this\ kind\ of\ thing\ should\ happen.\ \ It\ is\ now\ crystal\ \nclear\ that\ Bush\ doesn't\ care\ much\ about\ net\ people.\n%\nI'D\ LOVE\ TO\ BE\ THE\ ONLY\ FEMALE\ AT\ A\ \"SUPER-BOWL\"\ PARTY\ MADE\ UP\ OF\ 4-6\ MEN!\ \nTHE\ MEN\ TALK\ ME\ INTO\ MAKING\ A\ FRIENDLY\ WAGER\ ON\ THE\ 1/2\ TIME\ SCORE.\ IF\ THE\ \nFELLAS\ TEAM\ IS\ LOSING\ AT\ 1/2\ TIME...I\ GET\ \$1000.00...IF\ THE\ TEAM\ THEY\ CHOSE\ \nIS\ WINNING...THEY\ ALL\ GET\ \"ME\"\ TO\ DO\ AS\ THEY\ PLEASE!!!\n%\nThe\ government\ today\ announced\ that\ it\ is\ changing\ its\ emblem\ from\ an\ Eagle\ \nto\ a\ CONDOM\ because\ it\ more\ \ accurately\ reflects\ the\ government's\ political\ \nstance.\ A\ condom\ allows\ for\ inflation,\ halts\ production,\ destroys\ the\ next\ \ngeneration,\ protects\ a\ bunch\ of\ pricks,\ and\ gives\ you\ a\ sense\ of\ security\ \nwhile\ you're\ actually\ being\ screwed.\n%\nLinux\ was\ never\ \"free\"\ in\ either\ sense\ of\ the\ word.\ You\ may\ have\ had\ \ndownloaded\ Linux\ onto\ your\ computer\ for\ free\ but\ someone\ paid\ for\ it.\ In\ my\ \ncase,\ does\ anyone\ know\ how\ I\ can\ trade\ child\ porn\ with\ other\ Linux\ \nenthusiasts.\ Hit\ me\ back.\n%\nI\ believe\ that\ racial\ profiling\ is\ another\ necessary\ evil.\ Its\ existence\ is\ \nthe\ fault\ of\ the\ G-Unit,\ a\ popular\ \"hip-hop\"\ artist,\ whose\ name\ is\ clearly\ \nthe\ subliminal\ message\ \"GUN\ IT\".\ He\ is\ reinforcing\ the\ concept\ in\ the\ noble\ \nwhite\ mind\ that\ rappers\ today\ are\ the\ tool\ of\ satan,\ coaxing\ the\ young\ and\ \nuneducated\ nigger\ into\ a\ life\ of\ violence\ by\ instructing\ him\ to\ deal\ with\ \nhis\ problems\ using\ firearms.\n%\nLinux\ is\ an\ OS\ where\ files\ have\ no\ association\ to\ programs\;\ all\ \nconfiguration\ and\ settings\ are\ stored\ \"wherever\"\ in\ text\ files\ that\ grow\ to\ \nbe\ megabytes\ long\;\ most\ shell\ commands\ are\ so\ abstractly\ named\ that\ you\ \nwould\ never\ be\ able\ to\ use\ them\ without\ knowing\ how\ they\ work..\ or\ first\ \nreading\ its\ \"manual\ page\".\nLinux\ is\ an\ operating\ system\ of\ inconsistancy.\ Theres\ over\ a\ thousand\ \ndistributions\ of\ linux,\ and\ over\ a\ billion\ different\ modified\ versions\ of\ \nit.\ Programs\ come\ shipped\ as\ source\ code\ that\ you\ must\ compile\ and\ configure\ \n(by\ way\ of\ large\ scripts\ that\ attempt\ to\ figure\ out\ how\ your\ system\ is\ \nrunning..\ since\ nothing\ is\ standard).\n%\nLinux\ is\ a\ form\ of\ mental\ sickness\;\ a\ security\ blanket\ left\ over\ from\ the\ \nchildhood\ of\ the\ Computer\ Age.\ The\ sooner\ \"Tux\"\ and\ his\ travelling\ freak\ \nshow\ pack\ it\ up\ and\ move\ on,\ the\ better.\n%\nAny\ east\ slim/lean\ chinese\ nsf/nsreg/sec/jc/scouts/npcc/ncc\ uniform\ boys\ \nintrested\ roleplay\ kidnapping/tying\ up\ fun\ in\ full\ uniform\ attire?\ 23\ chn\ \nmale\ 171\ 100\ fat\ guy\ here\ in\ Bedok\ North.\ Pls\ mesg\ me\ if\ intrested,\ thanks.\n%\nSurprisingly,\ my\ healthy\ pussy\ emanates\ a\ fragrance\ EXACTLY\ like\ steaming\ \nhot\ french\ fries\ from\ McDonald's.\ Days\ when\ the\ smell\ is\ particularly\ \nstrong,\ it\ makes\ me\ long\ for\ a\ large\ Dr\ Pepper\ with\ plenty\ of\ ice.\ And\ it\ \nmakes\ my\ stomach\ growl,\ particularly\ in\ the\ mornings.\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ a\ basic\ land\ card,\ because\ i\ just\ tapped\ you\ and\ now\ i\ got\ \nmana\ burn\n%\nI\ just\ got\ back\ from\ my\ trip\ to\ Africa\ and\ man\ was\ it\ great!\ First\ we\ landed\ \nin\ South\ Africa\ and\ while\ there\ I\ actually\ got\ to\ meet\ Nelson\ Mandela.\ He\ \nwas\ a\ very\ gracious\ and\ interesting\ host.\nThen\ we\ were\ on\ to\ Kenya.\ While\ there\ I\ got\ to\ see\ lions\ and\ elephants\ in\ \nthe\ wild.\ A\ rhino\ actually\ chased\ the\ hummer\ we\ were\ riding\ in,\ but\ I\ think\ \nthe\ driver\ prompted\ it\ to.\ I\ also\ saw\ a\ few\ giraffes\ and\ crocs.\ Then\ we\ went\ \nup\ to\ Nigeria\ and\ saw\ the\ different\ cultures\ of\ people\ that\ were\ there.\ I\ \nactually\ got\ to\ visit\ and\ internet\ cafe\ and\ check\ my\ emails!\ Then\ we\ got\ a\ \nguided\ tour\ down\ the\ Niger\ River.\ Man\ that\ was\ the\ funnest\ part\ of\ the\ \nentire\ tour.\ I\ saw\ several\ large\ snakes\ hanging\ from\ trees\ and\ lots\ of\ \ncrocodiles.\ Then\ we\ saw\ a\ gang\ of\ Ubangi-Lips\ rape\ a\ 6\ year\ old\ girl\ and\ eat\ \nher\ father\ afterwards.\ It\ was\ awesome.\n%\none\ time\ i\ tried\ to\ stick\ an\ egg\ back\ into\ a\ chicken,\ i\ think\ it\ gave\ the\ \nchicken\ an\ orgasm\ because\ all\ this\ liquid\ came\ out\ all\ over\ my\ hands\ and\ the\ \nchicken\ started\ to\ squawk\ and\ flap\ its\ wings.\ maybe\ im\ weird\ but\ this\ was\ a\ \nmajor\ turn-on!\n%\nI\ need\ pictures\ of\ your\ fingernails\ for\ a\ research\ project\ I\ am\ doing\ for\ \nColumbia\ University.\ Preferably\ extreme\ closeup\ of\ your\ cuticles.\ If\ you\ \ncould\ cut\ them\ slightly\ open\ with\ a\ razor\ blade,\ just\ so\ a\ little\ blood\ \nleaks\ onto\ them..\ that\ would\ be\ awesome.\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ gasoline\ because\ even\ though\ you're\ pricey,\ I'm\ still\ \ngoing\ to\ pump\ you\ in\ my\ van\n%\nWhoa!\ If\ flames\ were\ an\ alternative\ power\ source,\ this\ would\ be\ a\ nuclear\ \nreactor.\ Very\ good\ trolling,\ sir!\ I\ laud\ your\ recent\ accomplishments\ and\ \nexpect\ to\ read\ of\ your\ exploits\ in\ the\ latest\ trolling\ journals.\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ Six\ Flag's\ newest\ roller\ coaster\ because\ some\ rednecks\ told\ \nme\ that\ they\ have\ been\ saving\ up\ their\ money\ all\ summer\ to\ ride\ you\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ a\ black\ market\ organ\ harvester\ cause\ you\ just\ stole\ my\ heart\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ Doom\ 3\ cause\ when\ the\ action\ starts\ the\ lights\ go\ out\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ open\ source\ because\ the\ entire\ fucking\ high\ school\ class\ \nhas\ seen\ your\ internal\ workings\ and\ tinkered\ with\ them\n%\nYour\ \"guess\"\ is\ completely\ wrong.\ Just\ because\ animals\ can't\ talk\ doesn't\ \nmean\ they\ can't\ give\ consent.\ Animals\ have\ teeth,\ claws\ and\ can\ give\ audible\ \nwarnings\ (growling,\ hissing,\ etc.)\ to\ voice\ their\ opposition\ to\ a\ sex\ act\ \nbeing\ performed\ on\ them.\n\ \ \ Also,\ many\ animals\ are\ quite\ intelligent\ and\ have\ a\ much\ faster\ \nneurodevelopmental\ rate\ than\ humans,\ reaching\ mental\ adulthood\ at\ extremely\ \nyoung\ ages\ by\ human\ standards.\ Finally,\ many\ animals\ are\ fully\ grown\ at\ much\ \nyounger\ ages\ than\ humans,\ so\ they're\ physically\ prepared\ for\ sex\ at\ younger\ \nages.\n\ \ \ Comparing\ animals\ to\ children\ is\ absolutely\ ridiculous,\ and\ in\ some\ ways\ \neven\ insulting\ to\ animals.\ Please\ do\ your\ homework\ before\ adopting\ a\ stance\ \non\ an\ issue\ you\ got\ from\ a\ blatantly-conservative\ source.\n%\nI\ hate\ this\ hypocritical\ bullshit.\ So\ I\ can\ can\ take\ a\ cow,\ shoot\ it\ in\ the\ \nface,\ cut\ out\ its\ tongue,\ gut\ it,\ cut\ it\ into\ million\ cubes\ and\ eat\ them,\ \nthen\ wear\ it's\ skin...but\ I\ can't\ love\ one?\ I\ can't\ make\ one\ feel\ special?\ I\ \ncan't\ physically\ express\ all\ the\ love\ I\ have\ for\ it?\ Fuck\ America.\n%\nI\ prefer\ to\ open\ the\ conversation\ with\ light\ banter\ about\ my\ wardrobe\ and\ \njewelry,\ then\ I\ like\ to\ discuss\ my\ collection\ of\ expensive\ cars.\ This\ is\ \nmore\ than\ enough\ to\ convince\ you\ to\ have\ sexual\ intercourse\ with\ me.\n%\nGo\ back\ to\ jacking\ off\ to\ your\ anime\ girls.\ Leave\ the\ real\ women\ to\ real\ men.\n%\nThere's\ something\ hypocritical\ about\ a\ country\ that\ fails\ to\ establish\ \nadequate\ limits\ to\ medical\ testing\ on\ animals\ and\ adequate\ guidelines\ for\ \ntreatment\ of\ fur\ and\ meat\ animals\ yet\ makes\ the\ sale\ of\ all\ crush\ videos\ \n(including\ those\ depicting\ the\ extermination\ of\ bugs,\ worms\ and\ rats)\ \nillegal.\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ herpes\ because\ every\ time\ I\ think\ i'm\ rid\ of\ you,\ there\ you\ \nare\ on\ my\ dick\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ ghonorrea\ because\ you're\ totally\ eating\ my\ nuts\n%\nY'ALL\ HURD\ ABOUT\ DA\ HEERRIKANE?\ \ YO\ KATRINA\ WAS\ CAUZED\ BY\ WMDs\ YA\ HEARD?\ \ \nDAS\ RITE\ YO.\ \ WEAPONS\ OF\ METEORLOGICAL\ DESTRUCTION.\ DA\ INSURGENTS\ ND\ DA\ \nTALIBAN\ R\ BEHIND\ ALL\ DIS.\ \ ND\ FEMA\ IS\ RACIZICALIST\ TOO.\ BUSH\ DON'T\ CARE\ \nABOUT\ BLACK\ PEEPLE.\n%\nNo,\ actually,\ I\ am\ not\ fat.\ I\ have\ about\ a\ 10%\ bodyfat,\ actually.\ I\ lift\ \nweights\ all\ the\ time\ that\ I\ am\ not\ playing\ video\ gamez\ (ps2\ sucks).\n%\nThank\ you\ for\ giving\ me\ a\ glimpse\ into\ the\ wonderfully\ vivid\ and\ imaginative\ \nworld\ that\ you\ occupy.\ I\ feel...honored...to\ say\ the\ least.\ Words\ can\ not\ \nexpress\ my\ gratitude\ that\ you\ would\ grant\ upon\ us\ put\ a\ peephole\ into\ the\ \nglorious\ universe\ that\ you\ are\ so\ priviledged\ to\ occupy\ from\ 9-5\ every\ \nsingle\ weekday.\ I\ am\ envious\ but\ I\ know\ it\ is\ because\ God\ has\ favored\ you\ \nabove\ me...you\ are\ TRULY\ worthy.\n%\nI\ love\ both\ dog\ cock\ and\ Negro\ cock,\ but\ that\ is\ hardly\ any\ reason\ to\ make\ \neither\ dogs\ or\ Negroes\ American\ citizens.\ Just\ as\ there\ will\ be\ ways\ to\ \nenjoy\ Chinese\ food\ without\ flooding\ America\ with\ Chinese\ asylum-seekers,\ \nthere\ will\ be\ ways\ for\ you\ to\ enjoy\ Negro\ cock\ without\ allowing\ large\ \nnumbers\ of\ Negroes\ to\ roam\ about\ destroying\ American\ infrastructures.\n%\none\ time\ this\ guy\ showed\ me\ his\ 'drug\ free'\ tattoo\ so\ one\ day\ me\ and\ my\ \nbuddies\ pinned\ this\ guy\ down\ and\ injected\ him\ with\ heroin.\ he\ was\ kicking\ \nand\ screaming\ and\ we\ all\ laughed\ and\ the\ next\ day\ we\ found\ out\ he\ killed\ \nhimself\ LOL\n%\nFuck\ them\ boo\ boos\ I\ guess\ some\ of\ those\ jack\ asses\ should\ have\ cashed\ their\ \nwelfare\ check\ and\ gotten\ some\ swimming\ lessons\ instead\ of\ blowing\ it\ on\ \nhennessy,\ spinning\ rims,\ and\ crack!\n%\nThe\ cowardly,\ girly-men\ faggot\ Muslim\ and\ Arab\ subhumans\ are\ quite\ another\ \nmatter.\ Islamists\ do\ not\ accept\ the\ United\ States\ as\ it\ is,\ and\ actively\ \nwant\ to\ change\ it\ into\ a\ majority\ Muslim\ country\ where\ the\ Quran\ replaces\ \nthe\ Constitution.\ The\ lib-dems\ run\ \"PC\ interference\"\ for\ America-haters,\ \nobscuring\ the\ true\ details\ and\ the\ important\ dialogue\ on\ all\ issues.\ We\ love\ \n\"diversity\"\ and\ \"multi-culturism\",\ don\n%\nLast\ weekend\ I\ slept\ over\ at\ a\ friend's\ house,\ but\ forgot\ to\ bring\ an\ extra\ \npair\ of\ underwear.\ He\ offered\ to\ let\ me\ borrow\ a\ pair\ of\ his.\ Well,\ we\ went\ \nfor\ a\ long\ car\ ride,\ and\ long\ story\ short...I\ shit\ in\ his\ underwear.\ Not\ a\ \nlot,\ but\ whoever\ did\ the\ laundry\ would\ definitely\ notice.\ When\ we\ got\ home,\ \nI\ pulled\ him\ aside\ and\ told\ him\ about\ it.\ \"Pull\ down\ your\ pants.\ I\ want\ to\ \nsee\ the\ damage,\"\ he\ replied.\ I\ was\ somewhat\ taken\ aback\ by\ this\ response.\ It\ \nwas\ his\ underwear\ after\ all,\ so\ I\ obliged.\ I\ pulled\ down\ my\ pants,\ and\ then\ \ncarefully\ lowered\ my\ underwear.\ I\ was\ surprised\ by\ how\ much\ shit\ there\ \nreally\ was.\ There\ were\ streaks\ all\ over\ my\ legs\ from\ when\ I\ had\ pulled\ the\ \nshorts\ down,\ and\ my\ penis\ was\ covered\ in\ shit.\ How\ had\ it\ even\ gotten\ that\ \nfar?\"Jesus,\"\ he\ exclaimed.\ \"That's\ a\ lot\ of\ shit.\"\ Then\ he\ got\ down\ on\ his\ \nknees\ and\ licked\ the\ underwear\ clean.\ When\ he\ was\ done\ with\ that,\ he\ slurped\ \nthe\ shit\ off\ my\ cock\ and\ balls.\ What\ a\ day!\n%\nHow\ on\ earth\ do\ i\ open\ taorent\ files?\ when\ i\ try\ openoing\ with\ winzip\ or\ win\ \nrar\ it\ tells\ me\ teh\ file\ is\ damaged\ ??\n%\njesus\ I\ spent\ the\ formative\ years\ of\ my\ childhood\ masturbating\ to\ a\ shemale\ \nsprite\n%\nMy\ hole\ day\ in\ skateboarding\ is\ just\ wake\ up\ when\ ever\ you\ feel\ like\ it\ eat\ \nthen\ go\ meet\ a\ few\ friends\ skate\ chill\ skate\ get\ something\ to\ eat\ then\ skate\ \nchill\ run\ from\ the\ pigs\ and\ skate\ then\ go\ to\ sleep\ about\ 4\ or\ 5\ in\ the\ \nmorning.\n%\nJeff's\ balls\ are\ about\ 3\ inches\ in\ diameter.\ They\ are\ green\ and\ hairy.\ When\ \nin\ public,\ Jeff\ will\ often\ expose\ his\ balls\ as\ a\ way\ of\ calming\ a\ crowd.\ \nOften\ in\ a\ fit\ of\ anger\ Jeff\ will\ whip\ one\ of\ his\ balls\ at\ someone\ who\ is\ \nmisbehaving.\ Most\ people\ prefer\ not\ to\ come\ in\ contact\ with\ Jeff's\ balls.\n%\nIt\ is\ indeed\ a\ cruel\ twist\ of\ nature\ that\ the\ most\ wonderful\ sex\ coupling\ in\ \nthe\ world\ ?is\ illegal\ -\ made\ so\ by\ puritanical\ Adults\ determined\ to\ limit\ \nchild\ rights.\n%\nim\ a\ computer\ geek??\ im\ not\ the\ one\ who\ spends\ his\ time\ on\ multiple\ forums,\ \nim\ not\ the\ one\ who\ comes\ here\ day\ and\ night\ for\ almost\ every\ day\ of\ the\ week\ \nand\ talks\ about\ making\ fun\ of\ people\ on\ the\ internet.\ christ,\ get\ a\ life\n%\nAs\ someone\ erotically\ attracted\ to\ balloons,\ a\ question\ \ close\ to\ my\ heart\ \nis\ \"to\ pop\ or\ not\ to\ pop?\"\ Flame\ wars\ over\ this\ very\ issue\ take\ up\ a\ \nsignificant\ amount\ of\ space\ on\ the\ balloon\ fetish\ chatrooms\ I\ frequent.\ I\ \nfind\ that\ while\ non-poppers\ feel\ an\ emotional\ attachment\ to\ balloons\ and\ can\ \nget\ quite\ protective\ of\ their\ inflatable\ friends\;\ poppers\ such\ as\ myself\ see\ \nno\ point\ to\ jerking\ off\ with\ balloons\ unless\ they\ explode.\ Your\ thoughts?\n%\nWhen\ the\ female\ of\ a\ species\ is\ more\ promiscuous,\ the\ male\ has\ to\ work\ \nharder\ to\ keep\ his\ woman,\ and\ thus\ reproduce.\ It\ is\ easier\ for\ him\ to\ keep\ \nher\ entertained\ if\ he\ has\ a\ more\ impressive\ dick,\ which\ means\ that\ the\ \nbetter\ endowed\ male\ can\ reproduce\ more\ than\ another\ male\ who\ is\ not\ so\ well\ \nendowed.\ In\ a\ species\ where\ the\ women\ are\ more\ loyal,\ this\ isn't\ so\ \nnecessary.\ So\ if\ the\ coons\ have\ the\ biggest\ penises,\ all\ that\ tells\ you\ is\ \nthat\ the\ blacks\ have\ humanity's\ most\ slutty\ women.\ I'm\ prepared\ to\ believe\ \nthat\ that\ is\ true.\n%\nWow\ you're\ life\ is\ so\ complete.\ Havning\ to\ use\ a\ drug\ to\ have\ fun\ and\ \nlistening\ to\ sucky\ music\ must\ make\ you\ so\ cool.\ Partying\ with\ women\ who\ have\ \nbeen\ passed\ around\ more\ times\ then\ your\ mom\ must\ make\ you\ a\ pimp.\n%\nif\ you\ want\ people\ to\ think\ you\ know\ what\ you\ are\ talking\ about,\ just\ put\ \n\".com\"\ at\ the\ end\ of\ everything\ you\ say.com\n%\nso\ i\ get\ home\ from\ work,\ ready\ to\ cook\ some\ chicken\ things\ in\ the\ microwave\ \n(oven\ is\ broke),\ i\ read\ the\ instructions\ to\ see\ about\ how\ long\ to\ put\ them\ \nin\ for..\ the\ damn\ instructions\ say,\ for\ microwave\ cooking,\ to\ put\ them\ in\ \nthe\ microwave\ for\ 3\ minutes\ AND\ THEN\ put\ them\ in\ a\ oven\ for\ 15.\ hey\ \nstouffers\ you\ lame\ retarded\ fucks,\ if\ i\ had\ a\ god\ damn\ oven\ i\ would\ use\ the\ \nshit\ to\ begin\ with.\ it's\ called\ microwave\ cooking\ for\ a\ reason.\ THANK\ YOU\ \nCOME\ AGAIN\n%\nAt\ first,\ the\ idea\ sounded\ unthinkable.\ Use\ my\ hand\ to\ wipe\ my\ ass?\ \nDisgusting!\ But\ after\ 10\ minutes\ of\ waiting,\ I\ decided\ that\ it\ was\ my\ only\ \noption.\ I\ slowly\ lowered\ my\ right\ hand\ under\ my\ butt\ and\ scooped\ all\ the\ \nfecal\ matter\ from\ my\ bottom.\ Not\ only\ did\ it\ feel\ gross,\ but\ now\ I\ had\ a\ \nwhole\ new\ set\ of\ problems.\ One\ simply\ does\ not\ walk\ out\ of\ a\ bathroom\ stall\ \nin\ a\ public\ restroom\ with\ one\ hand\ covered\ in\ shit.\ I\ sat\ there\ petrified,\ \nhoping\ for\ a\ miracle.\ But\ no\ miracles\ came.\ I\ was\ alone.\ Or\ so\ I\ thought.\ A\ \nknock\ on\ the\ stall\ door\ sprang\ me\ into\ action.\ \"One\ second,\"\ I\ called\ out,\ \nand\ in\ one\ quick\ movement\ I\ shoved\ the\ defacation\ into\ my\ mouth.\ When\ I\ tell\ \nthis\ story,\ what\ most\ people\ find\ most\ surprising\ was\ that\ I\ didn't\ gag\ \nimmediately.\ In\ fact,\ the\ stuff\ tasted\ rather\ good.\ Scratch\ that...it\ was\ \norgasmic.\ And\ the\ texture\ -\ there\ is\ nothing\ like\ it.\ After\ swishing\ the\ \npoop\ cusisine\ around\ my\ mouth\ for\ a\ few\ moments,\ I\ gulped\ it\ down.\ Up\ until\ \nthat\ moment,\ I\ hadn't\ realized\ how\ hungry\ I\ was.\ Suddenly,\ I\ wanted\ more,\ \nand\ fast!\ With\ my\ pants\ still\ at\ my\ ankles,\ I\ threw\ open\ the\ stall\ door\ and\ \ngrabbed\ the\ elderly\ gentleman\ who\ had\ been\ patiently\ waiting.\ \"Give\ me\ all\ \nyour\ shit,\ and\ make\ it\ fast.\"\ By\ the\ end\ of\ that\ glorious\ day,\ I\ had\ tasted\ \nthe\ shit\ of\ more\ than\ 100\ men,\ and\ a\ few\ women\ too.\n%\nAs\ I\ was\ reading\ that,\ my\ cat\ rubbed\ against\ my\ leg,\ and\ it\ surprised\ me.\ \nBut\ it\ felt\ kind\ of\ good,\ so\ I\ let\ her\ continue.\ After\ about\ five\ minutes\ of\ \nthis,\ I\ was\ feeling\ pretty\ horny,\ and\ from\ her\ erect\ nipples,\ I\ could\ tell\ \nmy\ cat\ was\ too.\ I\ picked\ her\ up\ and\ put\ her\ in\ my\ lap.\ She\ purred\ as\ I\ \nunzipped\ my\ pants,\ revealing\ my\ enormous\ boner.\ Then,\ without\ warning,\ she\ \nbit\ the\ head\ of\ my\ penis\ with\ her\ sharp\ fangs.\ Blood\ was\ everywhere,\ and\ i\ \nstared\ in\ horror\ as\ she\ began\ to\ claw\ at\ my\ blood-spattered\ testicles.\ I\ \ngrabbed\ a\ pair\ of\ scissors\ and\ snipped\ off\ her\ tail.\ She\ meowed\ loudly\ and\ \nscurried\ away.\ I\ guess\ we\ were\ not\ ready\ to\ take\ our\ relationship\ to\ the\ \nnext\ level.\n%\nIs\ it\ not\ weirder\ to\ drink\ cow's\ milk\ which\ is\ truly\ intended\ for\ baby\ cows?\ \nThe\ answer:\ Hell\ no!\ The\ only\ thing\ weirder\ than\ me\ drinking\ breast\ milk,\ is\ \nthe\ fact\ that\ milk\ is\ coming\ out\ of\ my\ wife's\ chest\ in\ the\ first\ place.\ It\ \nsure\ as\ hell\ didn't\ do\ that\ when\ I\ met\ her.\ I'm\ telling\ you,\ the\ whole\ thing\ \nis\ lunacy.\ I\ love\ my\ wife,\ but\ does\ she\ really\ have\ to\ be\ such\ a\ mammal?\n%\nSome\ say\ that\ I\ am\ the\ king\ of\ trolls.\ Of\ course,\ this\ is\ ridiculous\ because\ \ntrolls\ have\ no\ king\ and\ accept\ no\ authority.\n%\nDon�t\ let\ anybody\ ever\ tell\ you\ that\ Japan\ is\ just\ another\ foreign\ country.\ \nIt\ is\ much\ more\ than\ that.\ My\ story\ begins\ in\ the\ summer\ of\ 1983.\ I\ was\ an\ \nexpert\ negotiator,\ and\ that\ was\ what\ brought\ me\ to\ an\ exclusive\ resort\ \noutside\ of\ Tokyo.\ Two\ large\ Japanese\ electronics\ companies\ were\ attempting\ a\ \nmerger\ of\ some\ sorts.\ After\ two\ fruitless\ days\ of\ negotiations,\ I\ figured\ \nout\ a\ way\ to\ make\ everybody\ happy.\ I\ made\ some\ phone\ calls,\ and\ pretty\ soon\ \nall\ the\ executives\ were\ standing\ in\ the\ conference\ room,\ glaring\ angrily\ at\ \nme.\ �Gentlemen,\ may\ I\ present,\ Ling.�\ A\ buxom\ young\ Japanese\ schoolgirl\ \nentered\ the\ room.\ What\ she\ lacked\ in\ age,\ she\ made\ up\ for\ in\ sex\ appeal.\ The\ \nroom\ went\ silent.\ I\ was\ terrified.\ Had\ I\ made\ a\ mistake?\ Suddenly,\ the\ \nexecutives\ all\ burst\ out\ laughing.\ Then,\ one\ by\ one,\ each\ executive\ removed\ \nhis\ pants\ and\ began\ furiously\ masturbating\ over\ the\ young\ female,\ while\ I\ \nstood\ watching.\ Even\ now,\ as\ I\ write\ this,\ I\ am\ getting\ an\ erection,\ \nthinking\ about\ all\ those\ precious\ little\ penises\ waving\ wildly\ about.\ \nFinally,\ after\ the\ last\ load\ had\ erupted\ onto\ the\ face\ of\ the\ girl,\ whose\ \nslanted\ eyes\ were\ almost\ completely\ covered\ in\ goo,\ I\ walked\ up\ to\ her\ and\ \nlapped\ up\ every\ last\ drop\ of\ milky\ goodness.\ Oh,\ how\ I\ love\ Japan.\n%\nEvery\ time\ somebody\ starts\ hating\ on\ the\ president,\ it\ really\ bothers\ me.\ \nDon�t\ get\ me\ wrong,\ I\ hate\ the\ current\ administration\ as\ much\ as\ the\ next\ \npolitically\ minded\ citizen,\ but\ it�s\ really\ self-defeating.\ You\ see,\ the\ \npresident\ is\ not\ really\ who\ you\ think\ he\ is.\ He�s\ not\ the\ guy\ who\ makes\ \nthese\ decisions\ that\ piss\ you\ off.\ He\ looks\ like\ he\ makes\ the\ decisions.\ He\ \nsounds\ like\ he\ is\ making\ the\ decisions.\ In\ reality,\ he�s\ just\ the\ guy\ that\ \nhas\ to\ sell\ them\ to\ you.\ He\ is\ an\ actor,\ pretending\ to\ care\ about\ the\ \ncountry.\ He\ probably\ even\ believes\ he\ is\ actually\ the\ president.\ That�s\ one\ \nof\ the\ reasons\ why\ people\ like\ him\ at\ all.\ Another\ reason\ is\ that\ he\ sucks\ a\ \nlot\ of\ dick.\ And\ when\ I\ say\ a\ lot,\ I\ am\ not\ kidding.\ Like,\ we�re\ talking\ \nmillions\ of\ big,\ wet,\ floppy\ cocks\ getting\ shoved\ in\ his\ mouth\ over\ the\ past\ \nmonth\ alone.\n%\nLet\ me\ get\ this\ straight:\ the\ oil\ companies\ pressure\ the\ U.S.\ government\ \ninto\ invading\ Iraq,\ and\ then\ they\ expect\ us\ to\ be\ grateful\ when\ they\ donate\ \na\ measly\ \$4k\ to\ the\ hurricane\ relief\ effort?\ An\ effort,\ by\ the\ way,\ that\ has\ \nbeen\ severely\ hampered\ by\ the\ fact\ that\ most\ members\ of\ the\ national\ guard\ \nare\ currently\ halfway\ across\ the\ world.\ There's\ no\ way\ for\ them\ to\ come\ back\ \nto\ help\ out,\ and\ even\ if\ they\ could,\ those\ guys\ are\ exhausted.\ One\ of\ my\ \nbuddies\ from\ high\ school\ joined\ the\ national\ guard\ and\ ended\ up\ in\ Iraq,\ of\ \nall\ places.\ He\ told\ me\ that\ between\ the\ constant\ bombings,\ the\ desert\ heat,\ \nthe\ buttfucking,\ the\ cumguzzling,\ the\ gangbanging,\ and\ the\ surprise\ \ncircumcisions,\ there\ is\ hardly\ any\ time\ to\ sleep.\n%\nlast\ night\ i\ had\ this\ dream\ that\ i\ was\ going\ to\ the\ bathroom,\ like\ pissing\ \nin\ a\ full\ size\ urinal\ (all\ the\ way\ from\ the\ ground\ up,\ like\ 4\ feet\ high),\ \nwhen\ all\ of\ a\ sudden\ i\ look\ to\ my\ right\ and\ there\ is\ this\ old\ lady\ standing\ \nnext\ to\ me\ doing\ like\ the\ fake\ pissing\ thing,\ holding\ nothing,\ and\ staring\ \nat\ my\ wang,\ which\ is\ now\ hard.\ \ all\ of\ a\ sudden\ she\ jumps\ into\ my\ urinal,\ \nnote\ i\ am\ still\ pissing,\ and\ shoves\ my\ cock\ into\ her\ mouth\ and\ starts\ giving\ \nme\ head.\ \ don't\ forget\ i\ am\ still\ pissing.\ \ so\ she's\ goin\ down\ on\ me\ like\ \nshe\ hasn't\ had\ cock\ in\ 40\ years,\ which\ she\ probably\ hasn't\ and\ i\ finish\ \npissing\ all\ over\ her,\ so\ i\ reach\ over\ and\ flush\ and\ just\ leave.\ \ she\ sits\ \nthere\ in\ the\ urinal\ as\ i\ leave\ and\ there\ is\ this\ indian\ couple,\ the\ wife\ is\ \npregnant,\ who\ is\ just\ coming\ into\ the\ bathroom\ wondering\ what\ the\ hell\ i\ am\ \ndoing.\ \ i\ wave\ and\ smile\ and\ say\ hello,\ at\ which\ point\ i\ casually\ walk\ out\ \nof\ the\ bathroom.\ \ when\ i\ get\ out\ of\ the\ bathroom\ my\ company\ is\ having\ a\ \nmeeting\ so\ i\ sit\ down\ and\ all\ of\ a\ sudden\ this\ retarded\ guy\ who\ works\ here\ \nstarts\ beating\ me\ up,\ at\ which\ point\ i\ wake\ up.\n%\nI\ often\ find\ myself\ contemplating\ what\ it\ would\ be\ like\ if\ an\ elephant\ threw\ \nup\ but\ its\ mouth\ was\ closed.\ Would\ it\ throw\ up\ out\ its\ trunk?\ And\ if\ so,\ \nthat\ leads\ me\ to\ my\ next\ question:\ Would\ it\ make\ that\ elephant\ noise\ when\ \nthe\ throw-up\ comes\ out?\ I\ have\ played\ this\ scenario\ in\ my\ head\ every\ day\ and\ \nnight\ for\ the\ last\ ten\ years\ and\ the\ more\ I\ think\ about\ it\ the\ more\ firmly\ \nconvinced\ am\ I\ that\ the\ answer\ to\ both\ questions\ is\ in\ the\ positive.\ Discuss.\n%\nI'd\ love\ to\ have\ a\ man\ as\ my\ girlfriend\ and\ who\ would\ greet\ me\ each\ morning\ \nin\ a\ new\ an\ refreshing\ way.\ A\ spray\ of\ hot\ piss,\ a\ dick\ up\ the\ ass,\ an\ ass\ \npressed\ against\ my\ face,\ farts\ in\ my\ face,\ all\ the\ while\ waking\ up\ to\ a\ \nbeautiful\ man\ on\ some\ dim\ morning\ sunrise,\ light\ shining\ through\ the\ \ncurtains\ onto\ his\ perfectly\ formed\ pectorals\ and\ the\ silk\ sheets\ layed\ upon\ \nhis\ body\ reveleaing\ enough\ of\ his\ penis\ to\ make\ me\ realise\ how\ lucky\ and\ how\ \nwonderful\ i\ am.\ I\ prefer\ men\ and\ I\ date\ exclusively\ black\ men.\n%\nThe\ first\ thing\ you\ need\ to\ understand\ is\ that\ the\ government\ does\ not\ \nrepresent\ the\ people.\ It\ represents\ the\ corporations.\ The\ second\ thing\ you\ \nneed\ to\ understand\ is\ that\ hurricane\ Katrina\ is\ not\ a\ natural\ disaster.\ It\ \nwas\ a\ product,\ paid\ for\ by\ the\ U.S.\ government,\ and\ created\ by\ a\ \nChinese-built\ weather\ device.\ Think\ about\ it:\ who\ benefits\ from\ a\ natural\ \ndisaster\ like\ this?\ First\ and\ foremost,\ construction\ companies.\ New\ Orleans\ \nneeds\ to\ be\ completely\ rebuilt.\ Second,\ the\ government.\ Every\ moment\ of\ \nairtime\ that\ the\ president\ gets\ to\ talk\ about\ saving\ lives\ rather\ than\ the\ \nwar\ in\ Iraq\ means\ another\ vote\ in\ the\ next\ election.\ Lastly,\ mankind\ \nbenefitted\ a\ little\ from\ all\ those\ niggers\ drowning.\n%\nThe\ existence\ of\ \"foreigners\"\ is\ a\ common\ liberal\ myth.\ The\ self-styled\ \nintellectual\ elite,\ attempting\ to\ push\ their\ own\ petty\ agendas\ on\ the\ rest\ \nof\ us,\ invented\ the\ idea\ of\ \"foreigners\"\ to\ lay\ a\ guilt\ trip\ on\ the\ rest\ of\ \nthe\ country.\n\nFACT:\ Nothing\ exists\ outside\ the\ US!\ There\ is\ only\ vast\ ocean,\ we\ occupy\ the\ \nentirety\ of\ Pangea.\ (The\ existence\ of\ multiple\ continents\ is\ yet\ another\ \nliberal\ myth,\ which\ we'll\ discuss\ next\ time).\n\nFACT:\ Although\ the\ \"foreigners\"\ lie\ was\ created\ and\ popularized\ by\ liberals,\ \nit\ has\ recently\ been\ picked\ up\ by\ conservatives.\ The\ Bush\ administration\ \nrelies\ heavily\ on\ scare\ tactics\ involving\ hostile\ \"foreigners\"\ as\ a\ way\ of\ \ngrabbing\ unconstitutional\ levels\ of\ power.\n\nFACT:\ You\ may\ meet\ people\ in\ daily\ life\ who\ claim\ to\ be\ \"foreigners\"\ and\ \nillegal\ \"immigrants\".\ These\ people\ are\ merely\ telling\ you\ that\ false\ story\ \nbecause\ they're\ trying\ to\ get\ out\ of\ paying\ taxes.\n\nFACT:\ \"Foreign\"\ languages\ are\ simply\ elaborate\ codes\ used\ by\ spies\ to\ talk\ \nin\ secret.\ These\ spies\ are\ everywhere,\ and\ they\ are\ determined\ to\ steal\ your\ \ngenes\ for\ use\ in\ horrible\ cloning\ experiments.\ Don't\ trust\ anyone\ who\ speaks\ \na\ \"foreign\"\ language!\n\nFACT:\ The\ word\ \"foreign\"\ comes\ from\ the\ combination\ of\ \"for\"\ and\ \"reign\".\ \nThe\ word\ was\ invented\ for\ reign-for\ perpetuating\ the\ reign\ of\ dishonest\ \nliberals\ and\ unconstitutional\ governments.\ Don't\ let\ them\ fool\ you!\n%\nThere\ is\ no\ reasonable\ expectation\ of\ privacy\ in\ the\ world\ because\ there\ \nnever\ was\ one\ to\ begin\ with.\ You\ can't\ lose\ something\ you\ never\ had.\n\ \ \ \ We\ live\ in\ a\ web\ of\ interconnecting\ lives.\ Our\ actions\ have\ \nlong-reaching\ effects\ on\ others,\ as\ theirs\ do\ on\ ours.\ The\ idea\ that\ a\ \nsingle\ man\ may\ live\ as\ a\ hermit\ in\ the\ midst\ of\ the\ civilized\ world\ is\ both\ \nabsurd\ and\ problematic\ for\ being\ such\ a\ popular\ idea.\n\ \ \ \ Privacy\ doctrine\ in\ this\ country\ has\ existed\ for\ one\ purpose:\ shielding\ \ndomestic\ violence\ from\ public\ scrutiny.\ The\ whole\ \nprivate-sphere/public-sphere\ distinction\ arose\ so\ that\ some\ men\ could\ \nprevent\ other\ men\ from\ interfering\ in\ what\ they\ manage\ to\ pull\ off\ behind\ \nclosed\ doors.\ Marital\ rape\ and\ worse\ violences\ have\ always\ been\ justified\ as\ \nlocated\ in\ the\ mystical\ private\ sphere.\n\ \ \ \ As\ you\ cling\ to\ the\ arbitrary\ notion\ of\ privacy,\ you're\ doing\ little\ \nmore\ than\ empowering\ men\ to\ rape\ and\ torture\ women.\n\ \ \ \ It's\ time\ we\ got\ rid\ of\ the\ private/public\ distinction.\ No\ one\ ever\ had\ \nany\ actual\ privacy\;\ merely\ artificially\ imposed\ curtains\ that\ conceal\ \nmalicious\ actions\ by\ some\ against\ others.\ If\ this\ does\ anything\ to\ undermine\ \npublic\ respect\ for\ such\ a\ morally\ bankrupt\ institution\ as\ privacy,\ then\ I'm\ \nall\ for\ it.\n%\nGimp\ is\ perfectly\ usable.\ I\ know.\ I\ use\ it\ to\ add\ a\ mosaic\ over\ the\ faces\ of\ \nmy\ many\ preteen\ rape\ victims.\n%\nyou\ don't\ understand,you\ don't\ realise\ that\ the\ internet\ is\ a\ form\ of\ \ncommunicating\ and\ it's\ just\ as\ serious\ as\ talking\ in\ person\ or\ on\ a\ phone.\ \nStop\ with\ the\ bullshit.\n%\nI've\ been\ in\ the\ feceshape\ hobby\ for\ a\ good\ three\ years\ now.\ \ There's\ just\ \nsomething\ about\ being\ able\ to\ manipulate\ the\ shape\ of\ my\ poop\ by\ squeezing\ \nmy\ bowels\ that\ appeals\ to\ me.\ \ Plus,\ when\ I'm\ 80\ I'll\ have\ such\ control\ \nthere'll\ be\ no\ need\ to\ worry\ about\ messing\ myself.\n%\nNigerians\ make\ me\ so\ mad\ I\ wish\ someone\ would\ round\ them\ all\ up\ and\ send\ \nthem\ to\ a\ country\ where\ people\ starve\ and\ get\ gunned\ down\ in\ the\ street\n%\nMy\ son\ has\ always\ been\ a\ fan\ of\ Captain\ Planet.\ He\ has\ every\ episode\ on\ VHS\ \nand\ watches\ is\ roughly\ 12\ hours\ a\ day.\ Recently\ I\ caught\ him\ licking\ Captain\ \nPlanet's\ wang\ on\ the\ television\ screen\ while\ massaging\ his\ penis\ with\ a\ \nCaptain\ Planet\ action\ figure.\ Is\ this\ normal?\ What\ should\ I\ do?\n%\nI\ am\ a\ substitute\ teacher\ for\ grades\ K-5\ and\ I\ was\ awarded\ a\ gold\ star\ for\ \nstarting\ a\ movement\ in\ my\ school\ for\ \"story\ holes\"\ in\ which\ any\ student\ \ncould\ go\ into\ a\ bathroom\ and\ sit\ down\ and\ someone\ read\ them\ a\ story\ through\ \na\ hole\ in\ the\ bathroom\ wall.\n%\nI'm\ an\ Apple\ zealot,\ I'm\ typing\ this\ on\ a\ Mac\ Mini,\ and\ I'm\ going\ to\ be\ \nclicking\ submit\ with\ my\ one\ mouse\ button.\ Eat\ your\ hearts\ out\ you\ gaggle\ of\ \npock-marked,\ basement-dwelling,\ subhuman\ F/OSS\ advocates.\n%\nwhistle\ core\ is\ actually\ popular\ in\ japan\ it\ caught\ quite\ well\ and\ know\ \nwhere\ seeing\ various\ new\ whistle\ core\ bands\ come\ out\ of\ the\ country\ like\ the\ \nblue\ mist\ dogs,\ fire\ in\ the\ attic,\ lazor\ beem,\ robo\ boy\ vs\ the\ laviathan\ and\ \nvarious\ others\ its\ just\ a\ matter\ of\ time\ till\ they\ hit\ the\ charts\ here\n%\nDude\ you\ have\ to\ own\ one\ first\ to\ understand,\ people\ that\ hate\ them\ haven't\ \nowned\ them.\ I\ owned\ two\ and\ flipped\ them\ both,\ luxury\ eddie\ bauers\ one\ had\ \n20s\ on\ it\ and\ a\ TV\ inside\ with\ a\ ps2\ man,\ flipped\ them\ both\ nearly\ killed\ \nme...But\ I\ still\ fucking\ love\ suvs\n%\nBLACK\ MOE\ YOU\ FILTHY\ SILVER\ TOOTHED\ SUBHUMAN\ NIGGER\ SCUM-TELL\ YOUR\ CUM\ \nSUCKING\ 550LB\ MOM\ TO\ CLEAN\ THE\ HORSE\ CUM\ OFF\ HER\ SCABBY\ MOUTH\ OR\ I\ WONT\ SHIT\ \nDOWN\ HER\ CUM\ SLURPING\ THROAT-THEN\ WHEN\ SHE\ BLOWS\ YOU-YOU\ CANTASTE\ MY\ SHIT\n%\nI\ have\ two\ fetishes\ that\ sort\ of\ scare\ me.\ No\ it's\ not\ dog\ sex\ or\ \npedophilia.\ First\ is\ facesitting.\ I\ want\ a\ girl\ to\ sit\ on\ my\ face,\ \npreferably\ while\ mostly\ clothed\ or\ something\ because\ an\ asshole\ that\ close\ \nto\ my\ nose\ would\ probably\ make\ me\ vomit.\ Secondly\ is\ something\ called\ WAM.\ \nIt's\ girls\ getting\ hit\ with\ pies\ or\ having\ chocolate\ pudding\ poured\ on\ them\ \nor\ rolling\ around\ in\ creamed\ corn.\ Anything\ Wet\ And\ Messy,\ thus\ the\ name\ \nWAM.\ I'm\ pretty\ sure\ it\ comes\ from\ watching\ You\ Can't\ Do\ That\ On\ Television\ \nas\ a\ kid.\ I\ was\ shocked\ to\ find\ out\ that\ there\ was\ actually\ a\ pretty\ big\ \ninternet\ community\ devoted\ to\ it\ where\ I\ can\ find\ grown\ women\ getting\ slimed.\n%\n\"Shh,\"\ Snape\ said,\ their\ mouths\ very\ close.\ He\ lifted\ his\ hand\ off\ Harry's\ \nerection\ and\ smoothed\ it\ over\ his\ cheek.\ It\ was\ a\ breathless\ sort\ of\ moment,\ \nin\ a\ series\ of\ moments.\ Harry\ looked\ at\ Snape's\ face,\ enjoying\ the\ sensual\ \ntransformation.\ Features\ normally\ so\ severe\ softened\ by\ desire,\ flushed,\ \nglistening.\ Harry\ didn't\ have\ time\ to\ wonder\ what\ Snape\ saw\ in\ his\ own\ face,\ \nfor\ Snape\ was\ kissing\ him\ again.\n%\nRemember\ when\ morgan\ freeman\ played\ that\ high\ school\ principal\ with\ the\ bat\ \nand\ he\ caught\ the\ kids\ singing\ in\ the\ bathroom\ and\ he\ made\ them\ sing\ the\ \nschool\ song\ and\ the\ fat\ kid\ was\ a\ crack\ smoker.\ when\ he\ called\ all\ the\ \ntrouble\ makers\ up\ to\ the\ stage\ during\ that\ assembly\ and\ they\ are\ all\ raising\ \nhell\ and\ shit\ and\ there\ is\ one\ white\ kid\ on\ the\ stage,\ well\ that\ white\ kid\ \nturned\ out\ to\ be\ none\ other\ than\ new\ jersey�s\ own\ recovering\ addict\ of\ the\ \nmafia\ in\ the\ Sopranos:\ Chris\ Moltesante.\n%\nI\ have\ always\ fantasized\ about\ being\ a\ doll.\ like\ one\ of\ those\ real\ dolls,\ \nonly\ my\ owner\ doesn't\ know\ I'm\ in\ there.\ They\ think\ I'm\ just\ a\ doll,\ when\ \nreally\ I\ am\ enjoying\ everything\ that\ is\ bring\ done\ to\ me.\ Having\ no\ control\ \nof\ my\ body,\ being\ dominated\ completely,\ and\ then\ being\ put\ away\ when\ I'm\ not\ \nbeing\ used.\ However,\ I\ know\ that\ this\ is\ not\ possible\ in\ the\ real\ world,\ \nwhich\ saddens\ me.\ I\ however\ I'm\ sure\ there\ is\ someone\ out\ there\ that\ would\ \ngladly\ own\ me\ and\ treat\ me\ like\ their\ doll.\ Change\ my\ outfits\ daily,\ use\ my\ \nfor\ their\ own\ sexual\ desires.\ and\ then\ when\ their\ not\ using\ me,\ keep\ me\ in\ a\ \nlocked\ box\ in\ the\ closet,\ sometimes\ for\ days\ at\ a\ time.\ Only\ to\ be\ taken\ out\ \nwhen\ my\ owner\ wanted\ to\ use\ me\ some\ more.\n%\nThe\ strangest\ blow\ job\ I\ ever\ experienced\ was\ when\ I\ went\ to\ visit\ Shaq\ and\ \nfriends\ in\ the\ locker\ room\ when\ he\ was\ still\ playing\ for\ LA.\ \ They\ held\ me\ \ndown\ while\ Kobe\ held\ my\ mouth\ open\ and\ Shaq\ rammed\ his\ elephant\ trunk\ man\ \nhammer\ into\ my\ mouth.\ \ I\ immediately\ started\ gagging\ and\ throwing\ up\ but\ the\ \nmeat\ missle\ was\ so\ big\ it\ held\ the\ barf\ back\ and\ it\ went\ into\ my\ stomach\ \ninstead.\ \ Then\ they\ took\ me\ into\ the\ shower\ and\ proceeded\ to\ turn\ me\ into\ \nthe\ team\ pin\ cushion,\ it\ was\ like\ I\ was\ a\ tapestry\ in\ a\ sewing\ maching\ I\ got\ \nskewered\ for\ hours\ and\ I\ loved\ it.\ \ They\ finished\ off\ my\ visit\ with\ Shaq\ \npunching\ me\ in\ the\ throat\ and\ taking\ a\ huge\ dump\ on\ my\ forehead\ and\ making\ \nme\ lick\ his\ balls\ while\ he\ decorated\ my\ skull.\ \ It\ was\ great.\ \ I\ love\ black\ \ncock,\ I\ can't\ get\ enough\ its\ like\ catnip.\n%\nFly\ catching\ is\ a\ hobby\ of\ mine.\ Whenever\ I\ successfully\ catch\ a\ fly,\ I\ go\ \ninto\ the\ bathroom\ and\ I\ fill\ the\ bathtub\ up\ with\ warm\ water\ till\ it's\ deep\ \nenough\ that\ only\ the\ head\ of\ my\ penis\ sticks\ out\ of\ the\ water.\ Next,\ I\ rip\ \nthe\ wings\ off\ of\ the\ fly\ and\ place\ the\ fly\ upon\ the\ tip\ of\ my\ Cock--the\ \npenis\ \"head\".\ Not\ having\ anywhere\ to\ go,\ the\ cute\ lil\ fly\ runs\ around\ upon\ \nthe\ tip\ of\ my\ Cock,\ creating\ a\ most\ arousing\ sensation.Try\ it\ yourself\ !!\n%\nI\ heard\ this\ story\ from\ an\ M.D.\ in\ Japan.\ It\ was\ during\ WWII.\ A\ bunch\ of\ \nJapanese\ soldiers\ had\ rounded\ up\ 3\ or\ 4\ Korean\ women.\ They\ proceeded\ to\ fuck\ \nthem\ in\ every\ orifice,\ but\ there\ weren't\ really\ enough\ to\ go\ around.\ So\ one\ \nof\ the\ soldiers\ bayonets\ one\ of\ the\ girls\ in\ the\ stomach\ so\ that\ he\ can\ have\ \na\ place\ to\ fuck\ too.\ The\ feeling\ was\ so\ great\ that\ the\ others\ all\ start\ \ntaking\ turns\ in\ her\ stomach\ too.\n%\nno\ not\ really\ i\ just\ see\ them\ as\ mentally\ ill\ ..something\ thats\ encoded\ in\ \ntheir\ brains\ to\ love\ the\ opposite\ sex\ is\ backwards..and\ their\ phormones\ are\ \nfucked\ also..i\ hope\ science\ can\ find\ out\ a\ way\ to\ fix\ it....not\ because\ i\ \ndont\ like\ gays\ but\ because\ if\ u\ see\ a\ kid\ throw\ a\ baseball\ the\ wrong\ way\ \ndont\ u\ wanna\ help\ them\ throw\ it\ properly?\n%\nBefore\ my\ last\ job\ interview,\ my\ hair\ was\ really\ messy,\ so\ I\ went\ into\ a\ \nwashroom\ to\ tidy\ it\ up.\ But\ the\ plumbing\ wasn't\ working\ right,\ so\ I\ couldn't\ \nget\ water\ out\ of\ the\ taps.\ My\ only\ solution\ was\ to\ urinate\ in\ my\ hands\ and\ \nuse\ that\ to\ do\ my\ hair.\ I\ got\ the\ job.\n%\nYou\ don't\ think\ Bill\ will\ include\ the\ multiple\ tab\ feature\ in\ IE\ with\ \nLonghorn's\ release?\ \ Hopefully\ when\ that\ happens\ it'll\ shut\ you\ Fire-fags\ up.\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ harry\ potter\ because\ my\ dick\ is\ slytherin\n%\nDid\ you\ know\ that\ us\ niggers\ werer\ the\ first\ people\ on\ this\ planet\ and\ that\ \nevery\ race\ in\ the\ world\ evolved\ from\ us\ we\ were\ the\ first\ developed\ primates\ \nand\ there\ were\ and\ still\ are\ great\ black\ minds\ like\ Plato,\ \nShakespeare,Socrates,W.E.B\ dubois,Fredric\ Douglas........\ you\ fail\ to\ \nrealize\ we\ created\ you\ and\ we\ can\ take\ you\ away\ just\ as\ easily,we\ once\ ruled\ \nthis\ world\ and\ this\ world\ shall\ return\ to\ its\ original\ owners\ like\ it\ was\ \nbefore\ you\ devils\ came\ along\ and\ fukced\ it\ up\ .\ We\ had\ great\ civilazations\ \nin\ Africa\ such\ as\ Timbuktu,Kush,Egypt,Nubia,\ ek\ cetera\ who\ taught\ Mathmatics\ \nand\ liturature\ to\ the\ greeks,Arabs,Romas,s\ and\ of\ course\ caucs\ after\ we\ \ncivilized\ the\ world\ they\ turned\ around\ a\ stabed\ us\ in\ the\ back\ and\ clamed\ it\ \nthere\ selves\ and\ take\ credit\ for\ what\ we\ started\ and\ every\ time\ a\ nigger\ \nmoves\ up\ in\ high\ ranking\ yall\ get\ scared\ coz\ you\ know\ what\ we\ are\ capible\ of\ \ndoing\ but\ our\ day\ is\ coming\ soon\ when\ that\ black\ man\ you\ know\ as\ jesus\ comes\ \nback\ you\"ll\ see.\ oh\ yeah\ Hitler\ was\ a\ Fa9et\ and\ part\ jewish\ crackers!!!!!!If\ \nyou\ white\ you\ aint\ right.\ black\ pride\ world\ wide\n%\nWhat\ did\ the\ recycling\ bin\ say\ to\ the\ garbage\ can?\ \"YOU'RE\ A\ PILE\ OF\ FAGGOT\ \nTRASH!\"\ ,\ because\ the\ garbage\ was\ filled\ with\ gay\ porn\ mags.\ To\ which\ the\ \ngarbage\ can\ replied,\ \"\ You\ are\ a\ bucket\ of\ thoroughly-washed\ juice\ and\ milk\ \ncontainers,\ populated\ by\ an\ eco-friendly\ mid-20's\ socialist/liberal\ \ndemocratic\ couple\ who\ no\ one\ will\ ever\ listen\ to\"\n%\nI\ have\ been\ blessed\ and\ cursed\ with\ two\ hot\ ass\ cousins.\ Damn\ what\ I\ \nwouldn't\ give\ to\ hit\ it.\ But\ I\ never\ will\ be\ able\ to\ without\ consequences.\ I\ \nremember\ one\ time\ when\ she\ was\ 8\ she\ wanted\ me\ to\ sleep\ in\ her\ bed\ with\ her\ \nand\ we\ were\ going\ to\ touch\ each\ other.\ But\ I\ still\ believe\ in\ that\ God\ \nfairytale\ so\ I\ turned\ it\ down.\ I\ still\ regret\ it.\n%\nthere\ is\ a\ gay\ guy\ in\ my\ office,\ and\ he\ referred\ to\ hemmrhoids\ as\ speedbumps\n%\nFor\ the\ record,\ If\ a\ guy\ wants\ to\ rape\ you\ by\ combining\ something\ with\ \nRoofies,\ He's\ going\ to\ use\ something\ much\ more\ efficent\ than\ horse\ \ntranquiler\ or\ whatever\ you\ think\ us\ frat\ boys\ are\ using\ these\ days,\ a\ good\ \nrapist\ is\ going\ to\ use\ something\ along\ the\ lines\ of\ a\ brick.\ A\ simple\ slab\ \nof\ concrete\ is\ actually\ the\ most\ dangerous\ killer\ in\ the\ sex\ crime\ kingdom,\ \none\ shot\ to\ the\ face\ with\ a\ brick\ and\ you\ will\ be\ ugly\ for\ life,\ and\ those\ \neffects\ AREN'T\ TEMPORARY.\ You\ will\ also\ not\ be\ able\ to\ have\ children\ for\ \nlife,\ because\ they\ will\ be\ so\ afraid\ of\ their\ brickface\ of\ a\ mother\ that\ \nthey\ will\ cower\ in\ the\ womb\ forever.\ If\ you're\ worried\ about\ Progesterex\ \nbreaking\ out\ soon\ on\ campus's\ everywhere\ you\ should\ be\ even\ more\ worried\ \nabout\ being\ hit\ in\ the\ face\ by\ a\ brick\ while\ sitting\ in\ your\ neighborhood\ \nbar,\ because\ unlike\ Progesterex,\ bricks\ are\ already\ here....BEWARE!!!!\n%\nwhatever...\ come\ talk\ to\ me\ when\ -your-\ site\ wins\ a\ Webby\n%\nGo\ back\ to\ listening\ to\ your\ \"Rich\ Dad,\ Poor\ Dad\"\ book-on-tape\ in\ your\ 1989\ \nHonda\ Accord\ on\ your\ 25\ minute\ commute\ to\ your\ dead\ end\ job.\n%\nSo,\ I\ just\ got\ a\ job\ at\ Starbucks.\ \ It's\ part\ of\ my\ plan\ for\ global\ \ndomination.\ I'm\ going\ to\ tear\ the\ system\ down\ from\ the\ inside.\n%\nTIP\ FOR\ IRCERS\ #51:\ Bathe\ often,\ as\ personal\ odors\ are\ offensive\ to\ others\n%\nActually,\ it\ is\ incorrect\ to\ call\ me\ a\ 'know-it-all'\ because\ God\ is\ the\ only\ \none\ that\ knows\ everything.\n%\nThe\ case\ against\ marijuana\ legalization:Marijuana\ is\ not\ dissimilar\ to\ other\ \ndrugs,\ except\ in\ that\ its\ users\ seem\ to\ be\ rather\ slow\ witted\ after\ heavy\ \nand\ extended\ use.\ You\ know\ the\ type.\ Tobacco\ and\ alcohol\ have\ their\ \ndisadvantages\ too\ though,\ so\ really\ marijuana\ is\ not\ too\ different.\ Except\ \nthat\ for\ some\ reason,\ marijuana\ users\ have\ been\ unable\ to\ make\ a\ convincing\ \ncase\ in\ favour\ of\ marijuana.\ They\ haven't\ won\ the\ argument\ at\ all,\ and\ their\ \nlack\ of\ success\ can\ only\ be\ explained\ by\ the\ negative\ effects\ of\ marijuana\ \non\ their\ ability\ to\ put\ forward\ convincing\ and\ sophisticated\ arguments\ with\ \nthe\ charisma\ and\ social\ nous\ required\ to\ carry\ the\ day.\ This\ leads\ me\ to\ \nthink\ that\ marijuana\ is\ perhaps\ not\ as\ innocent\ as\ its\ advocates\ claim.\ If\ \nit\ was\ it\ would\ be\ legal,\ wouldn't\ it?\ But\ the\ bumbling\ ineptitude\ and\ \nstupidity\ of\ the\ typical\ stoner\ campaigner\ is\ a\ damning\ indictment\ of\ the\ \nnegative\ effects\ of\ marijuana.\n%\nYou\ are\ either\ for\ the\ expansion\ of\ growth\ of\ the\ human\ population\ off\ the\ \nearth\ and\ into\ space\ or\ you\ are\ for\ mass\ murder\ and\ restricted\ personal\ \nliberty\ to\ control\ population\ growth\ here\ on\ earth.\n%\nAre\ you\ wealthy?\ \ I'm\ just\ curious\ if\ this\ influences\ your\ thinking.\ \ Is\ \nyour\ household\ income\ above\ the\ median\ of\ \$51,000/year,\ or\ closer\ to\ the\ \n90th\ percentile\ of\ household\ income\ of\ just\ under\ \$125,000/year?\n%\nI\ was\ staying\ in\ this\ guy's\ apartment\ and\ I\ heard\ people\ having\ sex\ above\ \nme.\ The\ moaning\ turned\ me\ on\ so\ I\ whipped\ my\ tool\ out\ and\ whacked\ it.\ Later\ \nI\ found\ out\ the\ girl\ upstairs\ was\ being\ raped.\ I\ masturbated\ to\ a\ girl\ being\ \nraped.\ How\ sad\ is\ that?\ Should\ I\ feel\ guilty?\ Who\ knows.\ It's\ not\ like\ I\ \nknowingly\ did\ anything\ wrong.\n%\nY'know,\ I\ may\ be\ a\ lame\ furry\ faggot\ but\ I\ bet\ you\ I\ can\ do\ stuff\ you\ guys\ \ncan't\ do.\ I'd\ like\ to\ see\ any\ of\ you\ guys\ make\ it\ as\ a\ professional\ poker\ \nplayer\ :)\n%\nI\ started\ using\ Linux\ as\ a\ total\ n00b.\ \ I've\ done\ nothing\ but\ fixing,\ \nadjusting,\ fixing,\ updating,\ trying,\ fixing,\ and\ oh,\ ...\ fixing\ -\ AND\ I\ LOVE\ \nIT!!!\n%\nyou\ have\ to\ be\ on\ malt\ liquor\ to\ fully\ appreciate\ it.\ To\ the\ average\ \namerican\ negro,\ slightly\ buzzed\ on\ malt\ liquor\ and\ dazed\ by\ the\ media\ \nstimulus\ of\ sports\ and\ bigscreen\ TV..\ The\ phone,\ and\ the\ ability\ to\ \ncommunicate,\ even\ in\ the\ typical\ monosyllables\ of\ the\ subculture,\ is\ a\ \ncomplete\ novelty.\ Thus,\ the\ \"wazzup\"\ commercial\ represents\ the\ wonder\ and\ \nhappiness\ that\ a\ group\ of\ young\ negroes\ finds\ in\ using\ the\ technology\n%\nGET\ ME\ TWO\ HORSES\ WITH\ THE\ BIGGEST\ FUCKING\ DICKS\ YOU\ CAN\ FIND,\ AND\ THEM\ IM\ \nGONNA\ SUCK\ OFF\ ONE,\ WHILE\ JACKING\ OFF\ THE\ OTHER,\ AND\ IM\ NOT\ GONNA\ STOP\ TILL\ \nIM\ BATHING\ IN\ BUCKETS\ OF\ CUM\n%\nthe\ only\ solution\ is\ to\ go\ up\ there\ with\ your\ katana\ and\ show\ them\ who\ wears\ \nthe\ kimono\ in\ your\ dojo\n%\nMy\ uncle\ works\ for\ Capcom\ and\ he\ let\ me\ play\ Street\ Fighter\ 4:\ The\ \nWreckoning\ and\ it\ has\ Sheng\ Long\ in\ it\ and\ he\ can\ do\ Guile's\ Handcuffs\ and\ \nhis\ wife\ is\ Blanka's\ birthmother\ and\ you\ can\ do\ uppercuts\ in\ the\ AIR\ (also\ \nBreakfastalities)\n%\nRIP\ klerck!!\ :-(\n%\nStone\ Cold\ Steve\ Austin\ just\ took\ you\ in\ his\ arms\ and\ superslammed\ you\ in\ \nyour\ bed,\ then\ read\ you\ a\ bedtime\ story\ and\ turnbuckled\ you\ into\ the\ shower\ \nthe\ next\ morning\ while\ suplexing\ the\ milk\ into\ your\ Captain\ Crunch\ cereal\n%\nfuck\ ya\ dude,\ ya\ site\ sucks\ crap,\ you\ be\ dissin\ us\ clowns\ u\ gona\ git\ beat\ \nDOWN,\ u\ fuckin\ wit\ da\ Juggalo\ NATION\ straight\ up\ ya\ hatah\ biatch\ u\ betta\ \nxplain\ youself\ becuz\ u\ gotta\ a\ lotta\ clownz\ ready\ to\ beat\ ur\ azz\n%\ni\ dont\ like\ the\ way\ you\ try\ to\ act\ like\ you're\ too\ smart\ or\ you're\ above\ \neverything\ and\ hatred\ makes\ you\ stupid...\ no\ it\ doesn't\ and\ ur\ not\ above\ \nthis.\ ignorant\ is\ nothing\ but\ a\ word....\ fake\ ass\ mother\ f-ucker\ is\ a\ mood\ \nthat\ you\ portray.\ gay\ is\ an\ expression\ used\ by\ us\ nowadays\ doesn't\ mean\ \nliterally\ gay.\ i\ should\ smack\ you\ for\ not\ knowing\ that.\ and\ yes\ it\ does\ make\ \nthem\ gay\n%\nI've\ spent\ far\ too\ much\ time\ absorbing\ bullshit\ ideals\ from\ anarchists.\ The\ \ntruth\ of\ the\ matter\ is,\ I\ just\ don't\ want\ to\ pay\ for\ anything\ whatsoever.\ \nBritney\ CDs\ should\ be\ free\ because\ I\ think\ that\ somehow\ the\ constitution\ \nprotects\ my\ illegal\ copying\ and\ distribution\ under\ some\ freedom\ of\ speech\ \nlaw\ or\ fair\ use\ act.\ Even\ though\ I\ don't\ have\ to\ go\ out\ and\ buy\ luxury\ \nitems,\ I'm\ gonna\ whine\ and\ bitch\ anyway.\n%\nOh\ u\ FUCkIn\ RaCISt\ BItCh\ Dont\ b\ TalkIn\ To\ mA\ Kuzin\ LIKE\ DAt.\ u\ FUCkIN\ \nTRiFoLIn\ IrISh\ diCK\ SUCkER...~N~\ 1st\ of\ all\ i\ dont\ Why\ u\ tALkIn\ ABOut\ pEopLe\ \nWHen\ UR\ Azz\ Iz\ ugLy\ Azz\ FUCk..1st\ U\ NeeD\ 2\ b\ CheckIn\ ur\ Self\ den\ Talk\ BOut\ \nPeopLe..!\ Dont\ hate\ Juz\ BEcause\ oTha\ PEOple\ COuld\ Eat\ MOre\ Than\ u\ Can\ n\ not\ \nget\ F-A-T\ ..\ n\ because\ people\ are\ Prettier\ dan\ U..!\n%\nhi,\ i\ recently\ read\ about\ sex\ with\ insects\ and\ fine\ it\ fasinated\ me.i\ went\ \nto\ a\ pet\ store\ and\ bought\ crickets.\ taking\ them\ home\ i\ put\ some\ in\ a\ jar\ and\ \nlowered\ it\ over\ my\ cock\ and\ balls.\ the\ sensation\ of\ them\ crawling\ all\ over\ \nwas\ overwhelming\ and\ i\ orgasmed\ quickly.\ is\ this\ normal???\n%\nI\ was\ wondering\ if\ anyone\ knows\ of\ surgeries\ that\ can\ correct\ elongated\ \nlabia,\ or\ if\ there's\ anything\ you\ can\ do\ to\ make\ them\ look\ more\ normal.\ \ \nThey\ look\ disgusting\ to\ me.\ \ I'm\ not\ a\ chick\ or\ anything,\ I\ just\ really\ hate\ \nthis.\ \ My\ girlfriend's\ \"axe\ wound\",\ if\ you\ will,\ looks\ like\ a\ bloated\ sea\ \nzombie.\ \ Thanks\ in\ advanced.\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ real\ networks\ because\ i\ cannot\ get\ at\ your\ media\ without\ \ninstalling\ this\ ridiculous\ software\n%\nWhat's\ up\ with\ black\ people\ and\ sandwiches?\ It\ seems\ like\ every\ time\ I\ see\ \nsome\ illiterate\ welfare\ monkey\ jiving\ his\ ass\ down\ the\ street,\ he\ is\ busy\ \ncramming\ half\ of\ a\ submarine\ sandwich\ into\ his\ ape-maw.\ Is\ this\ some\ kind\ of\ \nnigger\ code\ for\ the\ imminent\ helter-skelter\ racewar?\n%\nI\ KNOW\ I\ JUST\ GOT\ HERE\ BUT\ YOU\ ARE\ ALL\ JUST\ THE\ COOLEST\ PEOPLE\ IN\ THE\ WORLD\ \nAND\ TOTALLY\ JUST\ LIKE\ ME!!\ WE\ SHOULD\ BE\ FRIENDS\ FOREVER\ AND\ THEN\ I\ GET\ OPS\n%\nWhy\ fuss\ with\ KDE\ when\ you\ can\ buy\ an\ Apple?\ \ Why\ futz\ around\ with\ this?\ If\ \nyou\ want\ state\ of\ the\ art\ GUI,\ why\ not\ just\ buy\ a\ Mac?\ KDE\ may\ emerge\ as\ \ngreat\ interface\ for\ your\ cell\ phone\;\ but\ at\ the\ end\ of\ the\ day,\ it's\ just\ a\ \ntoy.\ Serious\ Unix\ developers\ are\ switching\ to\ Apple.\n%\nOf\ course\ you\ can\ get\ sick\ from\ eating\ poop.\ But\ you\ can\ get\ hurt\ and\ die\ in\ \nan\ automobile\ wreck,\ too.\ Do\ you\ plan\ to\ avoid\ cars\ in\ the\ future?\ Of\ course\ \nnot.\ Knowledge\ of\ the\ consequences\ deters\ few\ cigarette\ smokers.You\ can\ not\ \ncatch\ any\ disease\ from\ the\ shit\ you\ eat\ that\ the\ donor\ did\ not\ have.\ My\ \n\"quality\ control\"\ standards\ have\ served\ me\ well\ and\ I\ don't\ even\ know\ who\ \nthe\ donor\ was\ much\ less\ which\ diseases\ he\ had.Remember,\ not\ all\ shit\ is\ \ncreated\ equally.\ Some\ shit\ really\ smells\ and\ tastes\ bad!\ More\ specifically,\ \na\ harsh\ acrid\ \"smoky\"\ odor\ and\ very\ bitter\ taste\ I\ consider\ bad.\ If\ it\ looks\ \nbad\ or\ lacks\ the\ classic\ grogan\ appearance,\ I'd\ say\ lose\ it\ in\ a\ hurry.\ The\ \nproblem\ with\ being\ a\ bottom\ is\ that\ you\ can\ not\ be\ selective\ about\ the\ shit,\ \nit\ comes\ prepackaged\ :-)\ Not\ always\ \[usually\ not\]\ the\ kind\ we'd\ like\ to\ \nhave.\ If\ you\ decide\ to\ proceed\ anyway,\ the\ most\ dire\ health\ consequence\ is\ \nprobably\ hepatitis,\ of\ course\ you\ can't\ get\ it\ unless\ he\ has\ it,\ in\ which\ \ncase\ you\ may\ get\ it\ from\ kissing,\ sucking,\ or\ rimming,\ etc.\;\ so\ don't\ just\ \nblame\ the\ shit.\ You\ can\ also\ pick\ up\ parasites\ and\ amoebae.\ If\ you\ get\ an\ \nupset\ stomach,\ Tumms\ will\ usually\ help.\ I'm\ HIV\ negative,\ even\ after\ all\ \nthese\ years\ of\ eating\ shit\ from\ thousands\ of\ guys\ mostly\ anonymously,\ but\ I\ \nhave\ to\ admit\ that\ I\ have\ had\ to\ take\ Flagyl\ once\ or\ twice,\ and\ even\ now,\ I\ \nclean\ myself\ out\ a\ couple\ times\ a\ year\ with\ Noroxin\ \[one\ tab\ a\ day\ for\ 5\ \ndays\].If\ you\ have\ a\ problem\ and\ it\ lasts\ for\ more\ than\ five\ days\ or\ have\ \nvery\ severe\ symptoms:\ see\ a\ doctor\ and\ don't\ be\ bashful\ about\ telling\ him\ \nwhat\ you\ did.\ It\ is\ wise\ to\ establish\ a\ good\ relationship\ with\ a\ physician\ \nbefore\ you\ need\ one!\ You\ can\ avoid\ a\ lot\ of\ expensive\ diagnostics\ by\ just\ \nsuggesting\ he\ prescribe\ Noroxin\ or\ later\ if\ that\ doesn't\ work\ Flagyl.A\ final\ \nthought\ here.\ Your\ toilet\ training\ and\ societal\ taboos\ are\ frequently\ \nsufficient\ to\ cause\ you\ to\ worry\ or\ feel\ guilty\ after\ your\ first\ scat\ \nexperiences.\ This\ can\ cause\ you\ to\ conjure\ up\ psychosomatic\ illnesses\ \nlimited\ only\ by\ your\ imagination.\ Know\ yourself\ and\ be\ aware\ that\ this\ may\ \nbe\ a\ problem.\n%\nNeed\ to\ be\ taken\ to\ dark\ side,\ expermented\ on,\ brought\ down\ to\ sub\ human\ \nlevel.\ Have\ swallowed\ dog\ shit.\ Gotten\ into\ extreme\ pain.\ Had\ balls\ severly\ \nabused\ and\ tortured.\ An\ y\ other\ sub\ humans\ out\ there\ need\ it\ as\ bad.\ Any\ \nevil\ tops\ really\ into\ bringing\ a\ guy\ down?\ any\ other\ guys\ into\ blood?\n%\ngirl\ u\ must\ be\ muslim\ cause\ im\ jihard\ as\ hell\n%\nMathematically\ speaking,\ it\ would\ appear\ that\ you\ were\ a\ 2:1\ favorite\ to\ \nfind\ the\ page\ you\ were\ looking\ for.\ Your\ click\ was\ questionable\ though\ given\ \nthe\ odds\ and\ the\ fact\ that\ any\ content\ on\ this\ site\ is\ likely\ to\ be\ crap\ \nanyway.\ I\ wouldn\\'t\ say\ that\ you.re\ a\ poor\ web\ surfer\ but\ I\ think\ it.s\ \nhighly\ unlikely\ that\ you\ could\ be\ a\ long\ term\ winner\ at\ higher\ stakes\ web\ \nsurfing.\n%\ngo\ back\ to\ tabulating\ your\ ultimate\ apple\ dream\ machine\ on\ apple.com\ then\ \nplaying\ snes\ all\ night\n%\nNever\ clean\ up\ or\ shower\ here.\ The\ dried\ shit\ flakes\ off\ my\ body\ and\ \nsometimes\ i'll\ brush\ a\ bit\ out\ of\ my\ beard.\ My\ head\ is\ shaved\ so\ it\ just\ \nflakes\ off\ there\ too.\ Hell\ yes,\ I\ STINK.\ And\ my\ mouth\ smells\ like\ a\ sewer.\ \nThat's\ theway\ I\ like\ it!\ I\ may\ clear\ a\ few\ people\ out\ of\ a\ room\ when\ I\ walk\ \nin\ but\ I\ haven't\ been\ thrown\ out\ of\ a\ Wallmart\ yet.\n%\nI\ shit\ into\ a\ tupper\ ware.\ I\ also\ like\ metal\ containers\ like\ the\ ones\ you\ \nuse\ for\ camping\ or\ in\ the\ military.\ then\ i\ freeze\ them\ or\ keep\ them\ in\ the\ \nrefrigerator\ for\ a\ few\ days.\ if\ you\ really\ seal\ the\ container\ tight,\ the\ \nshit\ can\ be\ stored\ much\ longer.\ Have\ you\ ever\ tried\ to\ shove\ a\ frozen\ turd\ \nup\ your\ ass?\ that\ is\ really\ hot,\ fuck\ yourself\ with\ your\ own\ turd.\ cool\n%\nI,\ too,\ prefer\ anyone\ I'm\ messaging\ to\ be\ literate\ and\ admit\ to\ a\ sneering\ \ncontempt\ for\ people\ who\ can't\ seem\ to\ break\ out\ of\ the\ \"cute\"\ Internet\ \nmisspellings\ and\ shortcuts.\ Children,\ grow\ up.\n%\nI\ got\ my\ 10\ year\ old\ niece\ drunk\ and\ then\ penetrated\ her\ with\ a\ sharpie.\ I\ \nlater\ found\ out\ that\ the\ penetration\ had\ ruptured\ her\ vaginal\ walls,\ and\ her\ \nmother\ accused\ my\ broher\ of\ being\ a\ child\ molestor\ as\ grounds\ for\ divorce.\ \nHe\ lost\ the\ case,\ and\ is\ now\ serving\ 20\ years.\n%\nI'm\ not\ really\ gay,\ I\ just\ act\ that\ way\ to\ annoy/creep\ out\ people.\n%\nThere\ is\ no\ god,\ because\ if\ there\ were,\ when\ my\ time\ of\ sorrow\ began,\ he\ \nwould\ have\ been\ there\ to\ help\ me.\ Why\ do\ I\ have\ an\ illness\ such\ as\ \ndepression,\ if\ supposedly\ god\ makes\ everyone\ that\ loves\ him\ happy?\ Fuck\ him\ \nand\ his\ false\ offers.\ Fuck\ religion!\n%\nGreetings\ nerds.\ \ As\ you\ can\ clearly\ see,\ my\ Slashdot\ ID\ is\ far\ lower\ than\ \nany\ of\ you\ can\ dream\ to\ have.\ \ Therefore\ all\ comments\ to\ this\ interesting\ \nand\ controversial\ article\ will\ have\ to\ be\ replies\ to\ my\ comment.\ \ If\ you\ \nfail\ to\ do\ this,\ I\ will\ search\ out\ your\ every\ post\ and\ mod\ them\ accordingly\ \nwith\ my\ vast\ amounts\ of\ accumulated\ mod\ points.\ \ You\ have\ been\ warned.\ \ Good\ \nday.\n%\nBLOGGABLES\ ???\ THE\ BLOGOSPHERE\ ???\ BLOGOMATIC\ ???\ SIMULBLOGCAST\ ???\ ECOBLOGS\ \n???\ METABLOGS\ ???\ BLOGS\ OF\ BLOGS\ ???\ MEDIABLOGS\ ???\ CATABLOG\ ???\ UBERBLOG\ \n???\ BLOGSERVATION\ ???\ RADIOBLOGS\ ???\ BLOGSPIRATION\ ???\ BLOGDEX\ ???\ \nBLOGDIGGER\ ???\ BLOGLINES\ ???\ BLOGPULSE\ ???\ BLOGRUNNER\ ???\ BLOGSNOW\ ???\ \nBLOGWISE\ ???\ BLOGBRITY\ ???\ BLOGS\ OF\ BLOGS\ TALKING\ ABOUT\ BLOGGING\ BLOGS\ ???\n%\nwoah!\ way\ to\ be\ sexist.\ i'm\ a\ girl\ hacker\ and\ exclusive\ linux\ user\ since\ \n1998\ and\ i'm\ certainly\ not\ alone\n%\nIMPORTANT\ NOTICE:\ anybody\ that\ has\ Windows\ XP\ 5.1\ 2600\ release\ from\ \nDevilsown,\ FCKGW-RHQQ2-YXRKT-8TG6W-2B7Q8\ -\ GET\ OFF\ THE\ INTERNET\ NOW!!!\ \nMICROSOFT\ IS\ ABOUT\ TO\ DO\ A\ SWEEP!\n%\nson,\ if\ you\ were\ a\ true\ music\ fan\ you\ would\ know\ that\ no\ good\ songs\ are\ 4/4\ \ngo\ play\ with\ your\ fucking\ casio.\n%\nI\ got\ a\ 5+\ on\ all\ 23\ of\ my\ AP\ tests,\ a\ 2400\ on\ the\ SAT,\ a\ 1337\ on\ the\ ACT,\ \nbut\ it's\ not\ a\ big\ deal\ since\ I\ have\ a\ 270\ IQ.\ I\ was\ drunk,\ high,\ and\ \ngetting\ a\ blowjob\ during\ every\ test,\ and\ I\ didn't\ study\ for\ any\ of\ them\ or\ \nsleep\ in\ the\ prior\ weeks.\n%\nI\ dont\ even\ know\ what\ indie\ rock\ is,\ but\ it\ sure\ as\ fuck\ isnt\ going\ to\ get\ \nyou\ play\ with\ any\ of\ the\ girls\ I\ hang\ out\ with.\n%\nOkay,\ let's\ break\ it\ down,\ people.If\ you're\ a\ guy\ there\ is\ no\ such\ thing\ as\ \nbisexual.There\ is\ only\ straight\ and\ gay.If\ you\ willingly\ touch\ a\ dick\ then\ \nyou\ are\ gay.If\ you\ willingly\ let\ a\ dick\ touch\ you\ then\ you\ are\ gay.If\ you\ \nscore\ anything\ other\ than\ zero\ on\ the\ Kinsey\ Scale:\ Gay.If\ you\ experimented\ \nonce\ when\ you\ were\ young\ and\ got\ married\ to\ a\ woman\ and\ had\ children\ and\ \nlived\ a\ happy\ productive\ life\ forever\ after:\ Still\ gay.Yes,\ we\ know\ that\ you\ \ndon't\ like\ to\ be\ called\ gay\ but\ you\ chose\ the\ dick,\ now\ sleep\ with\ it.\"Bi\"\ \nis\ not\ different\ from\ gay\ it\ is\ just\ what\ homos\ call\ themselves.You\ can\ call\ \nyourself\ a\ \"striped\ bass\"\ for\ all\ we\ care\ folks,\ you're\ still\ filthy\ faggots\ \nand\ you're\ going\ to\ hell!!!!\ God\ isn't\ fooled.\n%\nWhy\ must\ you\ trolls\ come\ to\ our\ forums\ and\ post\ stupid\ shit\ trying\ to\ rile\ \nus\ up?\ \ Your\ posts\ don't\ even\ bother\ 99%\ of\ us,\ so\ just\ quit\ it.\ \ Any\ one\ \nwho\ agrees\ with\ me\ post\ the\ number\ \"1\"\ in\ this\ thread.\n%\nI\ am\ a\ node\ of\ server.\ Born\ of\ flesh\ and\ blood,\ but\ enhanced\ by\ the\ power\ of\ \nits\ web.\ I\ have\ no\ use\ for\ pain\ or\ fear.\ My\ scripts\ are\ a\ focus\ of\ my\ will.\ \nMy\ strength\ is\ my\ knowledge.\ My\ weapons\ are\ my\ skills.\ Information\ is\ the\ \nblood\ of\ my\ body.\ I\ am\ part\ of\ the\ greater\ network.\ I\ am\ host\ to\ the\ vast\ \ndata\ of\ server.\ My\ flesh\ is\ weak,\ but\ my\ connection\ is\ eternal\;\ And\ \ntherefore,\ I\ am\ a\ god.\n%\nTO\ ALL\ THE\ BITCHEY\ 12\ YEAR\ OLD\ SLIPCOCK\ FANS..PLEASE\ SHUT\ UP\ BEFORE\ YOU\ HURT\ \nYOUR\ SELVES\ CRYING\ BLACK\ EYE\ SHADOW\ TEARS\ OF\ RAGE\ OVER\ MY\ \nCOMMENTS..OBVIOUSLY\ YOU\ NO\ IM\ CORRECT\ OTHERWSIE\ WHY\ WOULD\ YOU\ SHIT\ THAT\ MANY\ \nTIMES\ IN\ YOUR\ PANTS\ OVER\ MY\ LONLEY\ COMMETNS!!YOU\ FUCK\ HEADS\ SHOULD\ SHUT\ UP\ \n,QUIT\ SCHOOL(if\ you\ havent\ allready\ cause\ the\ kids\ dont\ ''get''\ your\ \nwigger,crack\ smoking\ nigger/jew\ fucking,\ garbage\ smelling\ italin\ ass)\ AND\ \nGET\ A\ JOB\ AT\ THE\ CARWASH\ QUICK\ BEFORE\ SOME\ SPIC\ WITH\ A\ BETTER\ TASTE\ IN\ MUSIC\ \nGETS\ THE\ JOB!!!I\ CAN\ JUST\ SEE\ IT\ NOW\ THE\ SLIPKNOT\ CONVICT\ IN\ HIS\ ORANGE\ \nOVERALLS\ PICKING\ UP\ MY\ USED\ RUBBERS\ ON\ THE\ SIDE\ OF\ THE\ HIGHWAY\ LOL!!!!ONE\ \nGROWN\ MAN\ CAN\ TAKE\ OUT\ 20+SLIPCOCK\ WORSHIPERS\ MOST\ OF\ THEM\ ARE\ GIRLS\ ANYWAYS\ \nSO\ MAYBE\ THEYLL\ GET\ A\ NICE\ RAPE!!!AND\ THEN\ GET\ THROWN\ OFF\ A\ FUCKING\ BRIDGE\ \nONTO\ YOUR\ FAGGOT\ GHETTO\ SHIT\ HOLE\ OF\ AS\ HOUSE!!!I\ WILL\ MAKE\ SURE\ TO\ TAKE\ \nPLENTY\ OF\ SHITS\ ON\ THE\ HIGHWAY\ AND\ LEAVE\ FILLED\ RUBBERS\ FOR\ YOU\ FAGS\ WHEN\ \nYOU\ GET\ ON\ ''JUVEY''FOR\ ONE\ OF\ YOUR\ PETTY\ CRIMES!!!ENJOY\ YOUR\ FREEDUMB\ WHILE\ \nIT\ LASTS\ YOU\ FUCKING\ NIGGERS!!!YOU\ WILL\ BE\ SITTING\ IN\ SOME\ JAIL\ SOON\ WRITING\ \nTEAR\ FILLED\ LETTERS\ TO\ COREY\ TAYLOR\ OR\ YOUR\ GRANDMOTHER!!!HAHA\ ..IM\ OFFF\ TO\ \nWATCH\ SOME\ FRESH\ PRINCE\ OF\ BELL\ AIR..YOU\ CUNTS\ IM\ SURE\ ARE\ OFF\ TO\ GET\ \n''BLAZED''AND\ HAVE\ CRACK\ ADDICTED\ BABYS\ AT\ AGE\ 13\ GOOD\ LUCK\ IN\ YOUR\ SHIT\ \nHOLE\ LIVES\ NIGGERS!!!\n%\nfuck\ you\ sXe\ faggot\ ass\ niggers.\ yeah\ i\ said\ faggot\ and\ nigger\ i\ guess\ and\ \nracist\ and\ a\ homophobe\ huh.\ yall\ are\ all\ fucking\ scenesters\ that\ probally\ \nfucking\ stand\ on\ the\ out\ side\ of\ the\ pit\ with\ you\ little\ Xs\ on\ your\ hands\ \ntrying\ to\ be\ hXc\ but\ really\ your\ just\ stupid\ as\ shit.\ do\ we\ walk\ around\ with\ \nfukcing\ Os\ on\ our\ hands\ if\ we\ do\ drugs.\ give\ it\ a\ break\ its\ all\ a\ fucking\ \ntrend\ arent\ you\ just\ so\ rad\ to\ claim\ edge\ i\ wish\ i\ was\ that\ cool\ oh\ well\ to\ \nbad\ me\ and\ your\ mom\ did\ heroin\ last\ night\ together.\ so\ all\ in\ all\ i\ guess\ im\ \nsaying\ FUCK\ YOU\ TRENDY\ ASS\ PUSSY\ BITCHS.\ sXe\ is\ not\ cool\ dont\ claim\ it\ be\ it\ \nyou\ fucking\ anal\ cunt.\n%\nHey\ guys,\ I'm\ protesting\ those\ starfield\ screen\ savers.\ Aren't\ screen\ savers\ \nsupposed\ to\ protect\ your\ monitor\ from\ getting\ the\ image\ burned\ on?\ What\ if\ \nyou\ permanently\ get\ stars\ flying\ on\ your\ monitor,\ that\ seems\ like\ it'd\ be\ \nworse\ than\ something\ useful\ like\ your\ taxes.\ Morons.\n%\nWatermelon\ represents\ the\ ripe\ breasts\ of\ white\ women\ which\ the\ negro\ wishes\ \nto\ rape,\ while\ the\ green\ color\ represents\ the\ money\ he\ wishes\ to\ steal.\ The\ \ndark\ bands\ on\ the\ melon\ represent\ the\ bars\ of\ a\ jail\ cell,\ the\ negro's\ \nultimate\ destination.\n%\nHello\ my\ name\ is\ Brad.\ I\ am\ gothic,\ and\ proper.\ I\ dress\ in\ all\ black\ all\ of\ \nthe\ time.\ I\ talk\ very\ intelligently\ by\ using\ large\ well\ articulated\ words.\ I\ \nreally\ don?t\ like\ Internet\ ?lingo?\ that\ much.\ I\ never\ understand\ what\ the\ \nfuck\ it\ means,\ and\ really,\ ?l8ter??\ Come\ on...LATER.\ Is\ it\ really\ that\ hard\ \nto\ type?\ I\ do\ also\ wear\ makeup\ which\ includes\ eyeliner,\ eye\ shadow,\ \nlipstick,\ etc,\ etc.\n%\nGirl\ you\ must\ be\ London\ because\ I\ want\ to\ explode\ inside\ your\ tunnel\n%\nout\ all\ day,\ in\ a\ series\ of\ events\ culminating\ in\ MY\ BAND'S\ FIRST\ \nPERFORMANCE\ AT\ HAMILTON\ STREET...\ holy\ shit\ dude..\ i\ am\ gunna\ be\ so\ nervus\ \nlol.\ \ ever\ sense\ the\ two\ weeks\ wwe\ have\ been\ practicing\ in\ my\ stepdads\ \ngarage\ are\ band\ has\ ben\ waiting\ for\ this\ night\ and\ my\ entire\ 3rd\ period\ \nAlgebra\ class\ is\ totally\ coming\ i\ hope\ we\ score\ some\ pussy\ and\ some\ weed\ lol\ \nlol\ fukkin\ kickass....\ we\ are\ playin\ all\ of\ our\ originl\ stuff\ including\ song\ \ntitled\ \"Party\ Party\ Party\"\ in\ D\ minor,\ \"The\ Song\ About\ The\ Girl\ Who\ Wouldn't\ \nDance\ With\ Me\ At\ Homecoming\"\ (tentative\ title)\ in\ D\ minor,\ and\ \"Beer\ Is\ Good\ \nGirls\ Are\ Gay\"\ in\ hmmm\ in\ hmm\ well\ lol\ ok\ that\ 1\ isnt\ in\ a\ key\ lol\ im\ not\ a\ \nfukkin\ musik\ queer\ how\ shuld\ i\ kno\ anyway\ i\ hope\ to\ see\ u\ all\ their\ to\ \nexperiense\ the\ thrill\ of\ our\ decibles\n%\nIf\ there\ is\ one\ thing\ that\ OSS\ has\ shown,\ it\ is\ that\ full\ time\ software\ \nteams\ do\ not\ produce\ better\ quality\ products\ than\ the\ amateurs\ (example:\ \nLinux\ v.\ windows)\n%\nIf\ Microsoft\ gets\ rid\ of\ that\ millions\ lines\ of\ spaghetti\ code\ in\ Windows\ XP\ \n(expect\ the\ same\ in\ Longhorn\ 2006\ &\ Blackcomb\ 2112)\ and\ comes\ up\ with\ a\ \nbrand\ new\ efficient\ system\ that\ equals\ the\ Apple,\ Apple\ can\ finally\ be\ laid\ \nto\ rest.\ After\ all\ Microsoft\ is\ the\ standard,\ like\ the\ Qwerty\ keyboard.\ You\ \nare\ going\ to\ have\ to\ live\ with\ Microsoft\ and\ those\ millions\ of\ lines\ of\ \nspaghetti\ code\ for\ some\ years\ to\ come.\n%\nI\ went\ to\ some\ IP\ that\ should\ have\ taken\ me\ to\ a\ warez\ server\ and\ it\ took\ me\ \nto\ one\ with\ a\ lot\ of\ porn\ and\ banners\ :(\n%\nIt\ appears\ as\ though\ Robert\ Hanssen,\ the\ American\ FBI\ agent\ accused\ of\ \nselling\ American\ secrets\ to\ the\ Russians,\ was\ a\ registered\ Linux\ user!!!\ \nThis\ is\ further\ evidence,\ as\ if\ any\ more\ was\ needed,\ that\ Linux\ and\ \ncommunism\ are\ inseperable,\ and\ that\ anyone\ using\ Linux\ is\ supporting\ the\ \ncommunist\ murder\ of\ millions!\n%\nFinal\ Fantasy?\ Please.\ The\ game\ is\ slow\ and\ repetitive.\ Meanial\ tasks\ such\ \nas\ just\ finding\ your\ way\ out\ of\ a\ cave\ can\ be\ extremely\ difficult.\ Also,\ you\ \nmust\ power\ up\ /\ gain\ levels\ buy\ engaging\ in\ mini-conflicts\ throughout\ the\ \ngame.\ These\ conflicts\ require\ NO\ eye\ /\ hand\ coordination,\ are\ extremely\ \ntedious\ and\ occur\ about,\ oh,\ every\ 1.5\ seconds.\ If\ you\ enjoy\ games\ that\ keep\ \nyou\ moving\ and\ require\ \"gaming\"\ skills,\ stay\ away\ from\ this\ game.\ I\ enjoy\ \nthe\ idea\ of\ a\ \"Fantasy\"\ concept,\ but,\ personally,\ I\ would\ much\ rather\ read\ \nTolkein\ than\ spend\ 5\ hours\ running\ around\ in\ circles\ trying\ to\ find\ an\ exit\ \nfrom\ just\ one\ screen\ of\ this\ game.\n%\nLonghorn?\ More\ like\ shoehorn,\ the\ way\ they're\ trying\ to\ cram\ all\ these\ new\ \n\"features\"\ into\ it.\n%\nHaha,\ you\ NSYNC\ lovin'\ assholes\ really\ got\ burned\ this\ time.\ \ Why\ can't\ you\ \njust\ shut\ your\ mouths\ and\ accept\ their\ demise??\ \ They\ are\ all\ losers..\ JC\ \nhas\ to\ share\ that\ woman\ from\ Desperate\ Housewives\ with\ 3\ other\ guys.\ \ And\ \nJustin,\ oh\ my\ gosh,\ he\ isn't\ even\ man\ enough\ to\ hold\ on\ to\ Britney\ (and\ \njudging\ by\ her\ new\ husband\ it\ shouldn't\ be\ that\ hard).\ \ I'm\ just\ glad\ Back\ \nStreet\ Boys\ have\ released\ their\ new\ album.\ \ They\ were\ the\ original\ band\ that\ \nevery\ record\ company\ cloned.\ \ Just\ goes\ to\ show\ you\ the\ true\ acts\ are\ the\ \nlast\ acts!!\ BSB\ 4ever!~\n%\nOne\ time\ I\ was\ masturbating\ in\ the\ closet\ and\ my\ brother\ walked\ in\ but\ he\ \ntripped\ and\ his\ mouth\ landed\ on\ my\ cock\ and\ he\ was\ yawning\ but\ I\ was\ almost\ \ndone\ and\ at\ that\ point\ the\ burglar\ alarm\ went\ off\ and\ I\ came\ and\ my\ brother\ \ntried\ to\ get\ up\ and\ run\ away\ but\ his\ pants\ got\ caught\ on\ the\ door\ and\ tore\ \noff\ and\ he\ fell\ backwards\ onto\ me\ and\ my\ mom\ walked\ in\ and\ saw\ it\ it\ was\ \nhorrible.\n%\nI\ swear\ i\ must\ be\ the\ only\ person\ that\ can\ use\ IE\ and\ not\ get\ all\ that\ crap.\ \nI\ bet\ its\ because\ i\ know\ not\ press\ the\ X\ button\ on\ a\ popup...Yeah\ i\ bet\ \nthats\ it.\ Oh\ and\ i\ dont\ go\ to\ a\ warez\ sites\ like\ an\ idiot.\n%\nim\ poor\ by\ choice\ fag.\ living\ in\ the\ mud\ just\ to\ get\ away.\ if\ i\ want\ money\ i\ \ncan\ get\ it\ peice\ of\ piss\n%\nObjC\ is\ able\ to\ use\ C\ code\ directly\ without\ change.\ That's\ why\ MS\ is\ pushing\ \nC#\ -\ it\ makes\ it\ harder\ to\ port\ code\ to\ OSX.\ With\ Windows\ projects\ done\ in\ \nC,\ most\ of\ the\ code\ can\ remain\ unchanged.\ You\ just\ add\ a\ little\ ObjC\ to\ \nhandle\ the\ system\ stuff.\ With\ C#,\ most\ of\ the\ code\ must\ be\ completely\ \nrewritten.\n%\nonly\ furries\ have\ faggoty\ butterfly\ and\ angel\ wings,\ us\ gargoyles\ have\ real\ \nmans\ wings\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ herbal\ essences\ because\ masturbating\ with\ you\ is\ a\ totally\ \norganic\ experience\n%\nHey\ guys.\ I\ just\ came\ from\ Best\ Buy\ with\ my\ dad\ and\ saw\ this\ a-ni-me\ called\ \n'Neon\ Genesis\ Evangelion'\ and\ my\ dad\ let\ me\ bought\ it,\ so\ now\ I\ have\ it\ with\ \nme\ but\ I've\ been\ reading\ about\ it\ and\ they\ say\ there\ is\ nudity\ in\ it.\ I'm\ \nnot\ sure\ if\ my\ parents\ will\ allow\ me\ to\ watch\ it,\ last\ time\ they\ found\ my\ \nHentai\ folder\ they\ changed\ my\ parental\ controls\ to\ Young\ Teen\ for\ a\ month.\ \nIt's\ not\ fair.\ I'm\ 19.\ I'm\ hiding\ my\ Hentai\ in\ Documents\ and\ Settings\ now.\n%\nthere\ are\ 2\ bits\ in\ bathroom\ binary.\ a\ number\ 1\ (01)\ is\ taking\ a\ piss.\ a\ \nnumber\ 2\ (10)\ is\ taking\ a\ poop.\ a\ number\ 3\ (11)\ is\ a\ shitpiss\ where\ you\ poop\ \nand\ pee\ at\ the\ same\ time.\n%\nHow\ about\ the\ enviroment?\ \ Canonical\ clearly\ does\ not\ care\ much\ for\ \nenviromental\ protection.\ \ The\ amount\ of\ Ubuntu\ CDs\ they\ have\ dumped\ in\ the\ \npast\ is\ unacceptable.\ \ They\ have\ reached\ AOL\ quantities.\n%\nDon't\ obscure\ the\ topic\ at\ hand\ with\ \"facts\".\ History\ has\ always\ been\ made\ \nthrough\ quick,\ instinctual\ choices.\ Intellect\ is\ nothing\ but\ a\ distraction\ \nwhen\ it\ comes\ to\ life\ shattering\ situations.\ Look\ at\ how\ it\ has\ defined\ our\ \nhistory.\ Do\ you\ think\ I\ am\ about\ to\ turn\ away\ from\ the\ legacy\ of\ generations\ \nbefore\ me?\ Alternative\ methods\ take\ longer,\ and\ never\ completely\ solve\ the\ \nproblem.\ It\ is\ easier\ for\ the\ mass\ populace\ to\ attack\ a\ problem\ \nstraightforward.\ Consideration\ for\ things\ slows\ down\ the\ pulse\ of\ results.\n%\nOh\ man\ oh\ man.\ There\ was\ my\ dad,\ pissed\ as\ all\ hell\ dirty\ and\ oily\ in\ his\ \nwork\ clothes\ yelling\ at\ the\ little\ pimple\ faced\ manager.\ \"Sir\ we\ can't\ \nreplace\ your\ monitor\ because\ you\ did\ not\ purchase\ it\ here.\"\ \"I\ BRING\ MONITOR\ \nIN\ AND\ YOU\ FIX,\ THEN\ YOU\ DROP\ AND\ EXPECT\ ME\ PAY,\ I\ DO\ NOT\ THINK!!!!!!!\"\ \ \nAfter\ about\ 15\ minutes\ of\ this\ we\ walked\ out\ of\ there\ with\ a\ brand\ new\ 15\ \ninch\ packard\ bell.\ Then\ I\ went\ home\ and\ played\ wing\ commander\ 2\ till\ I\ got\ \ntired,\ masturbated\ to\ sailor\ moon\ porn\ and\ went\ to\ bed.\n%\nEveryone\ else\ in\ the\ classroom\ was\ laughing\ at\ me.\ Due\ to\ my\ weakness,\ I\ was\ \nunable\ to\ push\ him\ away.\ I\ tried\ to\ wiggle\ my\ mostly\ ornamental\ white\ velcro\ \nshoes\ but\ that\ only\ encouraged\ him.\ I\ was\ thrown\ from\ my\ wheel\ chair\ and\ \nrolled\ onto\ my\ back.\ That's\ when\ the\ torture\ started.\ That\ day\ I\ was\ \nviolated\ with\ every\ pen,\ pencil,\ crayon\ and\ glue\ bottle\ those\ insufferable\ \nretards\ could\ lay\ their\ malformed\ mitts\ on.\n%\nfaggot!\ get\ the\ fuck\ out\ of\ here.\ we\ don't\ take\ kindly\ to\ you\ people\ around\ \nhere.\ you're\ worse\ than\ the\ niggers.\ at\ least\ the\ niggers\ are\ predictable\ -\ \nthey\ just\ want\ to\ make\ illegitimate\ children,\ eat\ fried\ chicken,\ and\ steal\ \ncars\ -\ you\ faggots,\ who\ the\ fuck\ knows\ what\ you're\ going\ to\ do\ next?\n%\nI\ have\ been\ testing\ Longhorn\ prereleases\ for\ weeks\ now\ and\ I\ have\ to\ say\ \nthat\ it's\ extremely\ buggy.\ \ \ Micro\$oft\ has\ a\ long\ way\ to\ go\ before\ they\ \ncatch\ upto\ Apple.\n%\ni\ have\ a\ girlfriend\ who\ was\ raped\ when\ she\ was\ in\ high\ school.\ not\ only\ that\ \nshe\ got\ molested\ by\ family\ member.\ even\ though\ it\ has\ been\ 8\ years\ since\ \nthat\ happened,\ she\ is\ still\ disturbed\ and\ when\ she\ sees\ something\ on\ tv\ or\ \nmovie\ that\ remind\ her,\ she\ cries.\ at\ which\ point\ i\ rape\ her.\ what\ a\ whore!\n%\nWee!\ Look\ at\ me!\ I'm\ a\ faggot\ masochist\ with\ my\ faggot\ masochists'\ OS!\ Look\ \nat\ me!\ Look\ at\ me!\ Look\ at\ me!\ I\ can't\ play\ WMVs!\ Ain't\ I\ cool!\n%\nI\ can't\ believe\ I\ just\ took\ a\ shit\ in\ my\ Wookie\ costume\ at\ the\ Star\ Wars\ \nconvention.\ What\ the\ fuck?\ I\ can't\ stand\ up\ and\ take\ it\ to\ waste\ chute\ \nbecause\ I\ am\ literally\ wading\ in\ a\ feces-filled\ fur\ suit\ at\ this\ very\ \nmoment.\ Any\ change\ in\ battle\ stance\ would\ send\ this\ rancid\ bantha\ poodoo\ \nspilling\ down\ my\ legs\ and\ into\ view\ of\ every\ Jedi\ Knight\ within\ 30\ feet\ of\ \nme.\ There\ is\ no\ way\ I\ can\ play\ this\ off\ as\ a\ fart.\ It\ doesn't\ help\ that\ I've\ \neaten\ nothing\ but\ doritos\ and\ pepsi\ for\ the\ passed\ 3\ days.\ I\ can\ hardly\ \nthink\ straight!\ How\ am\ I\ possibly\ going\ to\ explain\ this\ to\ my\ mom\ when\ she\ \ncomes\ back\ from\ the\ store\ to\ ask\ me\ what\ the\ fuck\ I\ just\ did\ in\ the\ presence\ \nof\ Boba\ Fett.\ She'll\ make\ me\ drop\ trau\ in\ front\ of\ everyone\ again.\ There\ it\ \nis.\ The\ Ewok\ at\ the\ signing\ booth\ to\ the\ right\ of\ me\ just\ asked\ if\ I\ could\ \nsmell\ 'that'.\ I\ gotta\ go.\n%\nChristianity\ was\ founded\ and\ propagated\ by\ Jews.\ It\ is\ also\ the\ source\ of\ \nWestern\ art,\ morality,\ and\ science.\n%\nYour\ argument\ is\ not\ very\ compelling.\ Everyone\ knows\ I'm\ not\ here\ to\ \"get\ \ndown\",\ I'm\ here\ specifically\ to\ crush\ you\ in\ debate\ and\ I'm\ not\ going\ to\ \nspend\ much\ time\ here\ either\ as\ I\ am\ quickly\ dulled\ by\ this\ sort\ of\ thing.\n%\nA\ note\ to\ the\ idiot\ who\ keeps\ sending\ me\ anonymous\ emails\ claiming\ to\ have\ \n\"f*cked\"\ my\ mother:\ 1)\ Do\ you\ really\ think\ i\ don't\ have\ your\ IP\ address\ and\ \nhave\ a\ relatively\ good\ idea\ of\ who\ you\ are?\ 2)\ Do\ you\ really\ think\ I\ care\ \nabout\ your\ weird\ sexual\ fantasies?\ 3)\ Have\ you\ even\ SEEN\ my\ mother?\ HAHAHA\ \n4)\ Keep\ it\ up.\ The\ messages\ are\ being\ logged,\ stored\ and\ passed\ on\ to\ the\ \nrelevant\ authorities\ and,\ of\ course,\ your\ ISP...\ 5)\ I\ know\ where\ you\ are.\n%\nI\ masterbate\ using\ a\ Johnsonville\ 'Cheddarwurst'\ in\ each\ hole\ and\ a\ vibe\ on\ \nmy\ button.\ \ I\ have\ acheived\ 48\ orgasms\ in\ two\ hours\ with\ this\ technique.\n%\nI\ used\ to\ find\ ways\ to\ jack\ off\ around\ my\ mom\ while\ she\ wasn't\ looking.\ I\ \nhave\ even\ shot\ off\ onto\ her\ while\ she\ was\ asleep\ at\ night\ and\ my\ dad\ was\ at\ \nwork.\ She\ was\ a\ heavy\ sleeper\ and\ it\ wasn't\ any\ problem\ to\ gently\ uncover\ \nher\ and\ wack\ off\ right\ in\ front\ of\ her.\ I\ have\ even\ gotten\ completely\ naked\ \nand\ stood\ on\ a\ kitchen\ chair\ I\ pulled\ up\ next\ to\ her\ bed\ and\ blew\ my\ load\ \ncompletely\ across\ the\ bed,\ never\ hitting\ her\ with\ any\ of\ it\ all.\ The\ time\ I\ \nremember\ most\ is\ when\ I\ came\ home\ drunk\ (again)\ and\ she\ was\ already\ asleep.\ \nI\ got\ totally\ naked\ and\ went\ to\ her\ room.\ Luckily,\ she\ was\ completely\ \nuncovered\ and\ snoring\ like\ a\ cow.\ It\ was\ like\ I\ had\ special\ ordered\ this\ \nbecause\ she\ was\ laying\ flat\ on\ her\ back\ with\ her\ knees\ folded\ out\ like\ she\ \nwas\ expecting\ me.\ I\ looked\ at\ her\ tight\ little\ panties\ and\ could\ see\ the\ \nsplit\ plain\ as\ day.\ She\ kept\ a\ letter\ opener\ on\ the\ night\ stand\ next\ to\ her\ \nbed\ for\ when\ she\ opens\ the\ mail\ each\ night\ before\ she\ goes\ to\ bed.\ It\ was\ \nthe\ kind\ with\ the\ razor\ blade\ in\ it.\ I\ used\ the\ letter\ opener\ to\ cut\ her\ \npanties\ right\ across\ the\ crotch.\ I\ jumped\ when\ they\ snapped\ apart.\ I\ wasn't\ \nexpecting\ that.\ Mom\ never\ moved.\ She\ just\ laid\ there\ snoring\ like\ a\ bear.\ I\ \nthought\ to\ myself\ this\ was\ too\ good\ to\ be\ true.\ And\ since\ I\ was\ already\ \nnaked,\ I\ thought\ about\ how\ I\ could\ slip\ over\ top\ of\ her\ and\ try\ to\ touch\ my\ \ndick\ to\ her\ open\ pussy.\ I\ knew\ I\ couldn't\ actually\ stick\ it\ in\ her\ without\ \nwaking\ her\ up.\ I\ must\ have\ tried\ ten\ times\ to\ get\ on\ top\ but\ couldn't\ do\ it.\ \nI\ did,\ however,\ manage\ to\ actually\ lick\ her\ pussy(very\ lightly\ at\ first).\ \nAfter\ a\ couple\ of\ licks,\ I\ got\ brave\ and\ put\ my\ toung\ inside\ a\ little\ bit.\ \nOnce\ I\ did\ that,\ I\ knew\ I\ was\ pushing\ it\ so\ I\ eased\ off\ the\ side\ of\ the\ bed\ \nand\ jacked\ off\ standing\ as\ near\ her\ face\ as\ I\ could\ without\ waking\ her.\ I\ \nwanted\ to\ shoot\ my\ load\ on\ her\ face\ but\ I\ chickened\ out.\ I\ turned\ toward\ her\ \nstill\ open\ legs\ and\ tried\ to\ blow\ it\ on\ her\ pussy.\ I\ did\ manage\ to\ get\ it\ \nall\ over\ her\ leg.\ She\ never\ budged.\ Sometimes\ I\ think\ she\ knew\ the\ whole\ \ntime\ and\ just\ let\ me\ get\ myself\ off\ because\ she\ may\ have\ actually\ liked\ it.\ \nI\ sometimes\ wonder\ if\ she\ had\ always\ known\ when\ I\ was\ doing\ my\ thing\ around\ \nher.\ I\ got\ away\ with\ things\ you\ could\ not\ believe\ sometimes.\ I\ even\ put\ my\ \nthrobing\ swelled\ dick\ in\ her\ hand\ once\ while\ she\ was\ sleeping\ in\ the\ \nrecliner\ watching\ television.\ I\ didn't\ keep\ it\ there\ long\ but\ it\ was\ enough\ \nfor\ me\ to\ go\ to\ the\ bathroom\ and\ beat\ off\ like\ a\ fool.\n%\nI\ was\ sitting\ alone\ at\ home\ one\ night,\ curled\ up\ in\ a\ blanket\ on\ the\ couch.\ \nI\ was\ watching\ \"Sex\ in\ the\ City\"\ and\ I\ heard\ a\ knock\ at\ the\ door.\ I\ got\ up,\ \nand\ looked\ out\ the\ peephole.\ It\ was\ Kobe\ Bryant.\ I\ was\ very\ surprised,\ I\ do\ \nnot\ know\ him\ personally.\ I\ opened\ the\ door\ and\ let\ him\ in,\ because\ hey,\ its\ \nnot\ like\ a\ huge\ NBA\ star\ is\ there\ to\ rob\ you\ or\ anything!\ \ After\ he\ stepped\ \nin\ the\ foyer,\ he\ grabbed\ me\ and\ made\ me\ swallow\ my\ chewing\ gum.\ I\ \nimmediately\ blurted\ out\ that\ was\ a\ horrible\ thing\ to\ do\ because\ it\ will\ stay\ \nin\ there\ for\ 7\ years!\ Kobe\ began\ laughing\ incredibly\ hard,\ then\ grabbed\ me\ \nagain.\ Before\ I\ could\ even\ scream,\ he\ was\ ripping\ off\ my\ pants\ and\ lowering\ \nmy\ panties,\ \"jamming\"\ his\ enormous\ dong\ into\ my\ tight,\ but\ willing\ cunny.\ He\ \ntruly\ began\ raping\ me\ viciously\ in\ every\ hole,\ but\ it\ wasnt\ rape.\ I\ hadn't\ \nhad\ sex\ in\ the\ past\ year,\ and\ I\ really\ needed\ this.\ Especially\ from\ such\ a\ \nwell\ endowed\ man.\ \ As\ he\ thrusted\ in\ and\ out,\ he\ picked\ me\ up\ and\ moved\ me\ \ninto\ the\ kitchen.\ I\ didnt\ have\ any\ idea\ why.\ He\ opened\ the\ freezer\ and\ \nremoved\ my\ frozen\ pre-made\ chicken\ nuggets.\ He\ popped\ them\ in\ the\ microwave\ \nand\ continued\ his\ sexual\ escapade.\ \ Kobe\ began\ sniffing\ loudly,\ pulling\ in\ \nimmense\ amounts\ of\ air\ through\ his\ huge\ negro\ nostrils.\ \"Whats\ wrong,\ Kobe?\ \nKeep\ Thrusting!\"\ I\ yelled,\ as\ I\ was\ nearing\ climax.\ But\ he\ continued\ \nsniffing\ uncontrollably.\ He\ then\ dropped\ me\ on\ the\ floor,\ reached\ in\ the\ \nmicrowave\ and\ grabbed\ the\ plate\ of\ nuggets.\ \ The\ worst\ thing\ ever\ happened\ \nnext.\ He\ grabbed\ each\ nugget,\ smelled\ it,\ licked\ it,\ and\ then\ jammed\ it\ \nright\ into\ his\ anus.\ Before\ long,\ Kobe's\ anus\ was\ full\ of\ Tyson's\ very\ best\ \nnuggets,\ and\ I\ was\ masturbating\ to\ my\ second\ climax\ (I,\ however,\ did\ not\ \nnotice\ him\ doing\ his\ thing\ with\ the\ nuggets).\ The\ next\ thing,\ however,\ was\ \nwhat\ shocked,\ surprised,\ and\ scarred\ me\ for\ life.\ \ Kobe\ walked\ over\ to\ me,\ \nand\ said\ \"Ya\ hungry?\"\ I\ said\ \"Were\ you\ cooking\ those\ nuggets\ for\ us\ to\ eat?\ \nHow\ thoughtful\ of\ you!\"\ To\ my\ surprise,\ he\ said\ \"No\ way\ bitch!\ Now\ eat\ up!\"\ \nand\ he\ sat\ right\ down\ on\ my\ face\ and\ began\ to\ shit\ the\ nuggets,\ one\ by\ one,\ \ninto\ my\ mouth.\ He\ exhibited\ amazing\ anal\ control,\ and\ surprisingly\ the\ shit\ \nencrusted\ nuggets\ tasted\ fabulous.\ Kobe\ has\ been\ coming\ over\ whenever\ the\ \nLakers\ are\ in\ \ town\ for\ the\ past\ year\ ohh\ yeah.\n%\ni\ hacked\ into\ an\ airline's\ computer\ systems\ and\ stole\ a\ huge\ bunch\ of\ \nfrequent\ flyer\ points\ then\ traded\ them\ in\ for\ merchandise\ and\ got\ a\ sony\ \nplaystation\ 2\n%\nHEY\ BABE\ WHO\ WOULD\ WIN\ PIRATES....\ OR\ NINJA???\ \ ALSO\ NOTE\ I\ DID\ NOT\ USE\ AN\ S\ \nBECAUSE\ NINJA\ IS\ JAPANESE\ AND\ THEY\ DONT\ HAVE\ PLURALS\ DO\ YOU\ LIKE\ JAPAN\n%\nIt\ was\ only\ -after-\ I\ took\ the\ lethal\ dose\ of\ aspirin\ that\ I\ realized\ I\ \ncouldn't\ find\ my\ Evanescence\ CDs\ anywhere!!\ My\ elaborate\ suicide\ plans\ were\ \nruined,\ but\ as\ you\ can\ imagine\ I\ am\ quite\ used\ to\ disappointment...\ so\ \nsleepy...\n%\nDon't\ you\ dare\ talk\ to\ me\ like\ I\ don't\ know\ my\ profession.\n%\nCongratulations,\ prick,\ you've\ just\ made\ my\ ignore\ list.\ Was\ it\ worth\ it\ to\ \nyou\ to\ make\ your\ \"witty\"\ comments\ and\ snide\ in-jokes\ to\ your\ irc\ pals\ about\ \nme\ if\ it\ meant\ you\ are\ now\ disappeared\ from\ my\ online\ experience?\ Have\ a\ \nnice\ life.\n%\nA\ computer\ scientist?\ \ what\ are\ your\ credentials\ as\ a\ scientist?\ How\ have\ \nyou\ furthered\ scientific\ knowledge?\ I\ am\ a\ scientist.\ PhD\ in\ space\ science,\ \nas\ a\ matter\ of\ fact.\ A\ veritable\ rocket\ scientist.\ I\ have\ also\ developed\ \nsoftware\ for\ the\ last\ 25\ years.\ I\ have\ headed\ software\ projects\ and\ \ndelivered\ software\ to\ some\ important\ customers,\ including\ the\ DoD.\ So\ \nforgive\ me\ if\ I\ take\ exception\ to\ some\ programmer\ hack\ calling\ himself\ a\ \nscientist.\n%\n\"Star\ Wars\"\ was\ the\ highlight\ of\ my\ abusive\ childhoo.\ My\ father\ brutally\ \nbelted\ me\ frequently,\ and\ the\ rest\ of\ the\ family,\ a\ term\ which\ I\ use\ very\ \nloosely,\ just\ hid\ what\ he\ did\ to\ me.\n%\nDoesn't\ matter.\ \ Once\ the\ US\ housing\ bubble\ collapses\ there\ will\ be\ a\ total\ \neconomic\ collapse.\ Companies\ like\ Netflix\ and\ Amazon\ will\ go\ bankrupt\ as\ \nAmericans\ just\ try\ to\ save\ enough\ for\ food\n%\nI\ think\ that\ the\ present\ lack\ of\ comments\ on\ this\ article,\ combined\ with\ the\ \nsubject\ matter\ of\ this\ article,\ speaks\ volumes\ about\ the\ so-called\ open\ \nsource\ community.\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ Frogger\ because\ I\ would\ cross\ rush\ hour\ traffic\ and\ \ncascading\ rivers\ in\ order\ to\ hop\ in\ your\ hole\ 6\ times\ in\ a\ row\n%\nIf\ you\ want\ to\ make\ full\ use\ of\ your\ hardware\ use\ Windows.\ If\ you\ want\ to\ \nwaste\ days\ trying\ to\ get\ an\ alpha\ OS\ to\ work\ with\ hacked\ drivers\ and\ \nillegally\ reverse\ engineered\ applications\ mostly\ written\ by\ ugly\ teenagers\ \nwho\ stop\ doing\ it\ once\ they\ get\ laid\ then\ by\ all\ means\ use\ Linux.\n%\nit's\ so\ weird\ seeing\ Obi\ Wan\ Kenobe\ playing\ Alfred\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ an\ HTTP\ status\ code\ because\ all\ i'm\ getting\ is:\ 402\ \nPayment\ Required\n%\nI\ hate\ when\ people\ think\ they're\ saving\ the\ world\ just\ by\ riding\ their\ bike.\ \nIt's\ like\ those\ black\ and\ white\ couples\ that\ think\ they're\ fighting\ racism\ \njust\ by\ fucking\ each\ other.\n%\nYour\ a\ stupid\ fucker.\ You\ know\ no\ one\ gives\ a\ shit\ about\ what\ you\ say.\ Pipe\ \ndown\ and\ go\ check\ on\ your\ emerging\ gentoo\ box\ --\ ooh\ i\ think\ your\ \n_ricer_kernel_\ just\ finished\ building.\n%\none\ time\ i\ killed\ this\ hippie\ and\ scraped\ the\ resin\ off\ his\ lungs\ and\ i\ died\ \nof\ a\ weed\ overdose\n%\nFor\ instance:\ throughout\ all\ of\ my\ time\ in\ elementary\ school\ there\ was\ this\ \none\ kid\ who\ would\ go\ to\ the\ bathroom\ so\ he\ could\ poop.\ But\ he\ had\ a\ phobia\ \nof\ water\ splashing\ up\ his\ crack\ or\ something\ like\ that.\ I\ say\ this\ because\ \nhe\ would\ go\ into\ the\ stall,\ take\ down\ his\ pants,\ and\ while\ still\ standing,\ \nproceed\ to\ shit\ on\ the\ floor\ right\ in\ front\ of\ the\ toilet.\ It\ was\ weird\ when\ \nyou\ would\ go\ to\ the\ bathroom\ and\ you\ would\ see\ a\ burgundy\ loaf\ on\ the\ floor\ \nof\ the\ bathroom.\ And\ it\ was\ always\ in\ the\ same\ bathroom.\n%\nI'm\ not\ perfect\ in\ english,\ but\ I\ was\ on\ college\ forums\ when\ I\ was\ in\ \ncollege,\ and\ you\ wouldn't\ have\ lasted\ two\ minutes\ with\ anyone\ with\ your\ \nkiddy\ type\ gibberish.\n%\nStupid\ internet\ faggots\ get\ obsessed\ with\ the\ most\ inane\ things.\ If\ it's\ \nfrom\ Japan\ or\ runs\ on\ Linux\ watch\ the\ fuck\ out\ cause\ these\ losers\ will\ act\ \nlike\ Jesus\ appeared\ on\ Earth.\n%\nthere\ is\ no\ such\ thing\ as\ hardcore\ gaming,\ anymore\ then\ there\ is\ anything\ \nextreme\ about\ mountain\ dew\ livewire\n%\nSometimes\ when\ I\ get\ bored\ I\ stick\ screw\ drivers\ in\ my\ piss\ hole\ (preferably\ \nphillips\ head)\ Then\ I\ thumb\ around\ my\ sphincter\ with\ my\ womenlike\ finger\ \nnails\ scraping\ the\ days\ left\ overs\ and\ sniff\ it\ for\ 10\ minutes.\n%\nsince\ blacks\ have\ bigger\ wangs...\ do\ black\ chicks\ have\ bigger\ holes?\n%\nAs\ a\ professional\ shrink,\ I\ was\ appauled\ while\ observing\ Tom\ Cruise\ as\ he\ \nunderwent\ a\ complete\ alteration\ of\ personality\ on\ national\ television.\ \nAlthough\ his\ aggressive\ display\ did\ not\ make\ me\ think\ him\ gay,\ I\ certainly\ \nwondered\ if\ he\ was\ forgetting\ his\ Lithium\ or\ if\ we\ were\ watching\ one\ of\ his\ \nalternate\ personalities!\ Truly\ mindboggling\ behavior!\n%\nHer\ lips\ bit\ onto\ his,\ opened,\ and\ began\ force\ vomiting\ shit\ down\ his\ \nthroat.\ Her\ fingers\ dug\ deep\ into\ his\ flesh\ and\ John\ struggled\ as\ Kihnda\ \npulled\ him\ down.\ Into\ the\ toilet,\ into\ her\ kind,\ warm\ love,\ where\ they\ could\ \nbe\ forever.\ John\ tried\ to\ break\ free.\ He\ didn.t\ make\ it.\ The\ shit\ was\ too\ \nstrong.\ His\ penis\ still\ erect,\ a\ die-hard\ pervert\ to\ the\ end,\ loving\ every\ \nlast\ fucking\ minute\ of\ it,\ John\ drowned\ in\ his\ cannibal\ leavings.\n%\ni\ wipe\ turd\ on\ my\ tallywacker.\ \ im\ not\ happy,\ sometimes\ i\ touch\ my\ mouth\ \nafter\ playin\ with\ faeces.\ i\ think\ i\ have\ syphalis\ or\ scruvy..god\ bless\ \ntriffle,\ i\ put\ my\ balls\ in\ triffle....my\ pubes\ are\ 4\ inches\ long.\n%\nFucked\ in\ the\ ass\ non-stop,\ ream\ my\ hole,\ with\ a\ helicopter\ prop,\ I\ love\ ass\ \nfucking,\ yes\ it's\ true,\ I\ douche\ my\ ass\ nightly,\ so\ there's\ no\ poo.\ I'm\ a\ \nfanatic\ faggot,\ I\ love\ to\ get\ raped,\ got\ my\ dad's\ camcorder,\ to\ get\ it\ all\ \non\ tape.\ My\ sphincter's\ so\ loose,\ all\ my\ movements\ are\ butt\ juice,\ in\ the\ \nwar\ of\ fists\ and\ my\ ass,\ there\ can\ never\ be\ a\ truce.\n%\nLiberals\ deserve\ to\ be\ KILLED.\ \ Shot\ dead.\ Hit\ in\ the\ head\ with\ baseball\ \nbats,\ hatchets,\ axes\ or\ even\ ice\ picks.\ \ Hung\ by\ their\ necks\ from\ the\ \nnearest\ lamp\ post\ or\ tree.\ \ Liberals\ are\ the\ scum\ of\ the\ earth.\ Whether\ \nthey're\ in\ the\ UK,\ US\ or\ anywhere\ else,\ \ I\ advocate\ extreme\ violence\ against\ \nliberals!\ \ The\ only\ good\ liberal\ is\ a\ dead\ liberal.\n%\nI\ shat\ on\ my\ keyboard\ today.\ So\ I\ was\ vaccuming\ my\ keyboard\ to\ remove\ the\ \ndried\ up\ man\ juice\ of\ my\ past\ expeditions\ into\ trannybooth.com.\ I\ was\ \nplaying\ with\ different\ settings\ on\ the\ cleaner,\ and\ noticed\ how\ it\ produced\ \nkeystrokes\ when\ it\ was\ blowing.\ It\ made\ me\ wonder\ -\ was\ my\ own\ fart\ strong\ \nenough\ to\ type\ something?\ Being\ the\ experimenting\ type,\ I\ went\ ahead\ and\ \npulled\ down\ my\ pants,\ positioned\ my\ ass\ right\ above\ the\ keyboard\ and\ let\ out\ \na\ thunderous\ one.\ Turned\ out\ my\ bowel\ had\ decieved\ me,\ for\ along\ with\ the\ \ngas\ came\ hot\ chunks\ of\ shit.\ My\ computer\ started\ beeping\ like\ crazy\ as\ a\ \nhuge\ log\ pressed\ down\ on\ the\ function\ keys.\ My\ keyboard\ went\ friggin\ \nshit-brown.\ There\ it\ was,\ a\ steaming\ turd\ right\ across\ my\ home\ row.\ I\ had\ to\ \nuse\ fucking\ motor\ oil\ to\ clean\ away\ the\ fecal\ matter.\ I\ don't\ know\ what\ I'm\ \ngoing\ to\ tell\ my\ sister\ when\ she\ finds\ out\ the\ keyboard\ smells\ like\ crap.\n%\ni\ don't\ care\ if\ you\ premium\ member,\ i\ will\ ctl+alt+dlt\ u\ /\ you\ little\ fuck,\ \ni've\ got\ year\ old\ posts\ bigger\ than\ u/\ before\ i\ lost\ weight,\ back\ in\ \nninety-eight/\ you\ was\ wack\ posting\ over\ at\ gbs\ i\ seen\ u/\ then\ you\ came\ to\ \nFYAD,\ switch\ your\ demeanor,\ well\ -\ we\ don't\ believe\ you,\ you\ need\ more\ \npeople/\ troll\ phds\ of\ the\ game,\ we\ passed\ them\ classes\;\ nobody\ could\ read\ \nyou\ 05\ dudez\ like\ we\ do/\ don't\ let\ 'em\ gas\ you\ like\ lowtax\;\ he'll\ harass\ \nyou/\ trust\ me\ on\ this\ one\ -\ i'll\ e-detach\ you/\ hand\ from\ keyboard,\ eyes\ from\ \nscreen/\ they'll\ have\ to\ hold\ a\ cybervigil,\ put\ your\ webcam\ live\ stream/\ no,\ \nyou're\ not\ on\ my\ level\ get\ your\ mouse\ tweaked/i\ posted\ what\ ya\ did\ all\ year\ \nin\ my\ first\ week/\ (chorus)\ niggaz'll\ hijack\ your\ post,\ make\ you\ report\ to\ \nadmin/\ your\ faggot\ topics\ i'll\ unpin,\ make\ your\ drives\ spin\ and\ spin/\ we\ \nbring\ -\ humor\ to\ ur\ thread,\ kill\ your\ bullshit\ drama/\ too\ much\ bytes\ for\ ur\ \nmodem,\ go\ run\ to\ ya\ momma/\n%\nFlopping\ and\ flailing,\ tugging\ and\ yanking,\ rolling\ my\ micro-burrito\ between\ \nmy\ thumb\ and\ forefinger,\ I\ desperately\ Google\ \"Hairy\ Asian\ Pussy\"...\ \"Big\ \nBlack\ Tits\"...\ \"Shaved\ Mature\ Naked\"...\ but\ am\ unable\ to\ focus\ on\ any\ single\ \nimage\ long\ enough\ to\ construct\ a\ suitable\ fantasy.\ I\ click\ rapidly\ from\ one\ \nphoto\ to\ the\ next,\ accidentally\ smearing\ vitamin\ E\ oil\ on\ the\ keyboard\ and\ \nmouse,\ all\ through\ the\ night\ until\ morning's\ cruel\ \ rays\ mock\ my\ soft,\ \ngreasy\ loins.\n%\none\ time\ i\ smoked\ so\ much\ weed\ i\ got\ to\ like\ level\ 99\ of\ being\ high\ then\ i\ \nkept\ smoking\ and\ my\ high\ reset\ back\ to\ level\ 0\ and\ i\ was\ perfectly\ sober\ \nexcept\ my\ hair\ turned\ yellow\n%\nSTAR\ WARS\ \ EWOX\ \ JEDI\ \ X-WING\ \ GREEDOO\ \ DEATH\ STARS\ \ ANAKIN\ VADER\ \ JABBA\ HUT\ \n\ LIGHTSABERS\ \ VULCANZ\ \ HAN\ SOLO\ \ AT-ATs\ \ PADAWAN\ \ YODA\ \ ITS\ A\ TRAP\ \ CP30\ \ \ \nCHEWIE\n%\nYour\ theories\ interest\ me\ and\ I\ wish\ to\ subscribe\ to\ your\ newsletter.\n%\nAlso,\ if\ you\ have\ ever\ billboarded\ a\ request\ (posting\ a\ request\ more\ than\ \nonce\ in\ order\ to\ have\ it\ more\ visible)\ then\ you\ are\ in\ my\ killfiter\ as\ well.\ \n\ This\ is\ nothing\ personal,\ I\ just\ need\ to\ filter\ abuse\ in\ order\ to\ enjoy\ \nUsenet.\n%\nDo\ you\ really\ think\ that\ KDE\ is\ completely\ under\ GPL?\ You\ are\ either\ \nuninformed\ or\ a\ troll.\ \ \ I\ think\ you\ are\ a\ troll\ who\ tries\ to\ say\ \"If\ KDE\ \nwas\ under\ BSD\ license,\ Apple\ had\ not\ given\ any\ modifications\ back.\"\n%\nDid\ you\ know?\ There\ is\ scientific\ proof\ that\ bipedal\ creatures\ similar\ to\ \nmodern\ day\ wolves,\ cats\ and\ horses\ existed\ and\ even\ had\ their\ own\ \nproto-languages.\ It\ is\ theorized\ that\ today's\ \"furries\"\ are\ the\ offspring\ of\ \nthese\ ancient\ races.\n%\nThe\ lolly\ is\ a\ phallic\ symbol.\ It\ was\ invented\ by\ man\ in\ his\ eternal\ quest\ \nto\ subjugate\ women\ and\ dominate\ them\ by\ teaching\ children\ the\ act\ of\ \nfellatio\ at\ a\ young\ age\ -\ especially\ female\ children.\ To\ have\ equality\ among\ \npeople,\ we\ should\ eliminate\ such\ travesties\ of\ recreation.\ But\ lollies\ are\ \ntoo\ deply\ entrenched\ in\ our\ society\ for\ them\ to\ be\ removed\ without\ much\ \nharm.\ Therefore\ I\ propose\ to\ balance\ the\ situation\ by\ introducing\ a\ new\ type\ \nof\ lolly\ -\ it\ shall\ contain\ two\ sticks\ instead\ of\ one\ and\ to\ consume\ it,\ \npeople\ must\ spread\ out\ the\ sticks\ and\ lick\ in\ between,\ symbolising\ \ncunnilingus.\n%\nI\ can't\ believe\ that\ you\ banned\ my\ firneds\ computer\ along\ with\ my\ work\ one.\ \nWhat\ the\ fuck\ dude.\ Can't\ you\ fucking\ deal.\ I\ really\ have\ no\ Idea\ waht\ the\ \nfucking\ beef\ is\ with\ me.Really\ you\ fucking\ one.\ I\ no\ longer\ post\ during\ the\ \nday.\ I\ look\ at\ the\ site\ once\ a\ week\ if\ that.\ Really.\ If\ you\ see\ that\ fake\ \npersona\ only\ had\ 12\ post\ over\ 2\ months.\ THat\ is\ rediculus\ for\ me.\ So\ really\ \nfuck\ you.\ I\ can't\ believe\ that\ you\ banned\ my\ friends\ computer\ cause\ i\ posted\ \non\ it.\ What\ did\ you\ want\ me\ to\ do.Worst\ part\ is\ that\ I\ have\ had\ convoy's\ \nwith\ you\ on\ the\ other\ board\ and\ I\ know\ you\ have\ had\ no\ IDEA\ who\ I\ am.Man\ \ndude\ get\ in\ touch\ with\ me\ and\ lets\ hash\ this\ shit\ out.\ I\ am\ sick\ of\ this\ \nshit.Better\ yet\ call\ me\ so\ I\ can\ bitch\ you\ out\ over\ the\ phone\ and\ get\ this\ \nover\ with..Ps.\ I\ am\ not\ crunk\ right\ now\ just\ drunk\ and\ go\ ahead\ and\ bann\ \nthis\ IP\ addy\ wile\ your\ at\ it\ you\ fuck\ head.\n%\nThis\ has\ to\ be\ the\ most\ pathetic\ attempt\ at\ flaming\ I've\ ever\ seen.\ I\ was\ \nlaughing,\ so\ if\ that's\ what\ you\ intended,\ congratulations,\ otherwise,\ \nperhaps\ it\ would\ behoove\ you\ to\ find\ out\ what\ autism\ is\ before\ make\ stupid,\ \nunwitty\ posts\ about\ sufferers\ of\ the\ disease.\ Now,\ if\ you'd\ like\ to\ try\ to\ \nflame\ me,\ make\ it\ a\ real\ flame.\n%\nWell,\ I\ can't\ waste\ all\ day\ in\ this\ IRC.\ Gotta\ go\ to\ a\ T5\ meet\ for\ some\ \ntraining.\ Gotta\ place\ high\ in\ this\ years\ TiT\ and\ Evo2k5\ tournaments.\ (Tekken\ \n5.)\ See\ ya\ guys.\ :(\n%\nI've\ been\ foruming\ for\ ten\ years,\ been\ a\ moderator\ /\ admin\ of\ forums\ and\ all\ \nthat.\ It\ gets\ old\ after\ awile.\ I\ enjoy\ trolling\ shitty\ websites\ more\ than\ \nanything.\n%\nWhen\ I\ got\ home,\ the\ dog\ looked\ like\ it\ needed\ some\ more\ sex,\ so\ I\ unzipped\ \nmy\ cock\ and\ inserted\ it\ into\ the\ hound.\ We\ had\ sex\ all\ night.\ When\ it\ was\ \ndead\ in\ the\ morning,\ I\ was\ still\ raping\ it.\ When\ I\ was\ 80\ years\ old\ and\ the\ \ncorpse\ was\ decomposed\ and\ crawing\ with\ maggots,\ I\ was\ still\ ejaculating\ my\ \nseed\ into\ the\ empty\ shell.\ Later,\ I\ died.\n%\nDon't\ rely\ on\ risky\ conventional\ aphrodesiacs.\ Our\ patented\ formula\ \nharnesses\ the\ power\ of\ a\ biochemical\ reaction\ to\ create\ controlled\ \nexplosions\ in\ your\ testicles,\ propelling\ you\ into\ the\ INCREDIBLE\ SEMEN-FREE\ \nEXPLOSIVE\ ORGASM\ of\ a\ lifetime!\ She'll\ never\ cheat\ on\ you\ again\ after\ she\ \nfeels\ the\ POWER\ of\ our\ patented\ testicle\ exploding\ forumula.\n%\nBETTER\ NOT\ HEAR\ OF\ ANYONE\ BREAKING\ THIS\ ONE\ OR\ SEE\ DELETED.\ This\ is\ a\ ribbon\ \nfor\ soldiers\ fighting\ in\ Iraq.\ Pass\ it\ on\ to\ everyone\ and\ pray.\ Something\ \ngood\ will\ happen\ to\ you\ tonight\ at\ 11:11\ PM.\ This\ is\ not\ a\ joke.\ Someone\ \nwill\ either\ call\ you\ or\ will\ talk\ to\ you\ online\ and\ say\ that\ they\ love\ you.\ \nDo\ not\ break\ this\ chain.\ Send\ this\ to\ 13\ people\ in\ the\ next\ 15\ minutes.\ Go\n%\ndo\ you\ ever\ get\ these\ weird\ urges\ to\ jerk\ off..\ and\ then\ after\ you\ do\ you\ \nget\ this\ sick\ feeling\ in\ your\ stomach\ like\ you're\ going\ to\ throwup\ and\ \npassout\ ?\n%\nOkay,\ so\ you\ want\ to\ mack\ it\ with\ the\ ladies,\ but\ don't\ know\ where\ to\ start?\ \n\ How\ about\ you\ groom\ yourself\ you\ fucking\ pig.\ \ Here's\ your\ first\ lesson:\ \nWOMEN\ HATE\ MEN\ WITH\ BALL\ HAIR.\ \ There\ are\ some\ common\ technique\ for\ removal\ \n(i.e.\ razor,\ electric\ razor,\ nair)\ but\ my\ favorite\ is\ the\ time\ proven\ method\ \nof\ plucking.\ \ Start\ by\ sitting\ in\ a\ chair.\ \ Now,\ stretch\ your\ penis\ between\ \nyour\ testicles\ and\ hold\ it\ there.\ \ This\ will\ decrease\ the\ electric\ signals\ \nbeing\ sent\ to\ your\ brain\ everytime\ you\ pluck,\ bye\ bye\ pain!\ \ You\ should\ be\ \ndone\ in\ about\ 10\ minutes,\ and\ after\ that,\ you're\ on\ your\ way\ to\ Fellatio\ \nFarms.\ \ Go\ getum\ Cassanova.\n%\nEmoticons\ are\ useful,\ since\ they\ can\ at\ least\ partially\ take\ the\ place\ of\ \nfacial\ expressions,\ gestures,\ and\ tone\ of\ voice,\ all\ of\ which\ give\ clues\ to\ \nmeaning\ beyond\ what\ your\ mere\ words\ convey,\ in\ face\ to\ face\ dialogue.\ They\ \ncan\ easily\ be\ overused\ though,\ or\ used\ in\ a\ far\ too\ cutesy\ fashion,\ somewhat\ \nlike\ a\ girl\ dotting\ her\ i's\ with\ big\ pink\ hearts.\ If\ your\ email\ has\ more\ \nthan\ one\ or\ two\ emoticons\ in\ it,\ yo\n%\nFrankly,\ I\ am\ appalled\ at\ the\ way\ that\ members\ here\ treat\ the\ underground\ \nfurry\ community.\ It\ seems\ to\ me\ like\ nobody\ here\ really\ understands\ anything\ \nabout\ the\ furry\ way\ of\ life.\ I\ mean,\ seriously,\ do\ you\ know\ how\ freeing\ it\ \nis\ be\ honest\ about\ being\ encased\ in\ a\ human\ body\ whilst\ having\ an\ animal\ \nsoul?\n%\nWhat\ the\ fuck\ does\ it\ mean?\ What's\ the\ point?\ Is\ that\ sticker\ telling\ me\ to\ \ndrive\ more\ carefully\ because\ you've\ spawned,\ and\ you're\ carrying\ said\ spawn\ \nin\ your\ auto-mobile?\ Why\ should\ I\ care?\ You're\ obvously\ an\ idiot,\ so\ why\ \nshould\ I\ have\ any\ regard\ for\ the\ waste\ matter\ that\ sprung\ screaming\ from\ \nyour\ idiot\ loins?\ I'm\ gonna\ drive\ how\ I'm\ gonna\ drive.\ Just\ because\ you've\ \ngone\ out\ of\ your\ way\ to\ inform\ me\ that\ you\ happen\ to\ be\ transporting\ your\ \nworthless\ Shit-Factory\ doesn't\ mean\ I'm\ going\ to\ alter\ my\ driving\ style\ in\ \nthe\ least.\ And\ that's\ another\ thing.\ That\ shit\ automatically\ assumes\ that\ \nI'm\ the\ shitty\ driver.\ What\ about\ you?\ Shouldn't\ you\ be\ the\ one\ driving\ more\ \ncarefully\ because\ your\ squealing\ tit-sucker\ is\ in\ the\ passenger\ seat?\ Why\ \nare\ you\ telling\ me\ about\ it?\ If\ I'm\ walking\ to\ the\ post\ office\ to\ mail\ a\ \npriceless\ Ming\ vase,\ I\ don't\ shout\ at\ every\ person\ on\ the\ street\ \"FRAGILE!\ \nFRAGILE\ CONTENTS\ HERE,\ BE\ CAREFUL\ WALKING\ AROUND\ ME!\"\ No,\ that\ would\ be\ \nstupid.\ However,\ buying\ some\ stupid-ass\ 99\ cent\ sticker\ that\ says\ \"Baby\ on\ \nBoard\"\ is\ supposed\ to\ magically\ transform\ everyone\ on\ the\ freeway\ into\ \nperfect\ drivers.\n%\nI\ am\ a\ 15\ year\ old\ guy,\ I\ am\ 5'7\",\ and\ HATE\ humanity.\ I\ despise\ every\ piece\ \nof\ life\ around\ me,\ and\ I\ understand\ that\ this\ might\ classify\ me\ as\ insane,\ \nbut\ so\ what.\ I\ HATE\ christians(well\ most\ of\ them,\ but\ not\ all)\ because\ all\ \nthey\ do\ is\ shove\ there\ religon\ on\ you,\ why\ don't\ they\ just\ let\ me\ believe\ \nwhat\ I\ want?\ But\ anyways,\ just\ come\ on\ in,\ and\ see\ what\ I\ have\ been\ feeling\ \nlike\ today.\ Later...\n%\nu\ all\ people\ are\ goddam\ nigger\ fucktards!\ fuck\ u\ all!\ nigger\ fucktards!\ eat\ \nmy\ shit\ motherfuckers!\ goddam\ nigger\ fucktards!\ fucktards\ all!\ god\ damn\ you\ \nnigger\ fucktards!\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ the\ recently\ cancelled\ television\ show\ \"enterprise\"\ because\ \nno\ matter\ how\ many\ fat\ sweaty\ nerds\ profess\ their\ love\ for\ you,\ you\ are\ \nstill\ just\ a\ piece\ of\ shit\ whore\ that\ no\ respectable\ man\ would\ allow\ himself\ \nto\ be\ seen\ in\ public\ with\n%\ngirl,\ u\ must\ have\ a\ 2d20\ spell\ resistance\ because\ you\ are\ resisting\ my\ magic\ \nmissile\n%\nFace\ it,\ you\ just\ want\ an\ ipod\ so\ you\ can\ hack\ the\ firmware\ to\ make\ it\ \nvibrate\ then\ stick\ the\ smooth\ case\ up\ your\ ass\ you\ big\ FAG!!!\n%\nYou\ don't\ me,\ but\ I\ was\ looking\ through\ yahoo\ profiles\ and\ I\ saw\ that\ you\ \nare\ in\ Texas\ City.\ The\ reason\ that\ I'm\ writing\ to\ you\ is\ I'm\ a\ handsome,\ \ngoodlooking\ straight\ male.\ But\ lately\ I've\ been\ getting\ the\ urge\ to\ know\ how\ \ndoes\ it\ feel\ to\ suck\ a\ cock.\ I'm\ very\ serious\ about\ this,\ this\ is\ not\ a\ \njoke.\ If\ you\ havent'\ figured\ it\ out\ yet,\ I'd\ like\ to\ suck\ your\ dick.\ You\ \nmight\ look\ at\ this\ email\ and\ not\ be\ interested\ at\ all,\ and\ I'd\ understand\ if\ \nyou\ don't.\ If\ your\ not\ interested,\ you\ can\ write\ me\ back\ and\ tell\ me\ to\ go\ \nto\ hell,\ and\ I\ won't\ bother\ you\ again.\ To\ let\ you\ know,\ a\ guy\ sucks\ better\ \ncock\ than\ any\ female,\ cause\ only\ a\ guy\ knows\ what\ a\ guy\ likes.\ If\ you're\ \ninterested,\ it\ will\ be\ secretly\ and\ discreet.\ If\ you\ are\ interested,\ just\ \nwrite\ me\ and\ let\ me\ know.\ If\ your\ not,\ like\ I\ said,\ just\ tell\ me\ to\ go\ to\ \nhell.\ Let\ me\ know.\n%\nLinux\ Scat\ Ode\ :\ The\ chat\ has\ moved\ off\ this\ mortal\ coil.\ To\ replace\ the\ \nentertainment\ ,\ my\ pants\ :\ I'll\ soil!\ Turds\ smashing\ into\ the\ boxers\ all\ \nnite.\ I'll\ take\ them\ off\ and\ sniff.\ Ohh\ yeah.\ Dats\ rite.\ The\ smell\ is\ \ndivine,\ the\ taste\ is\ great.\ Now\ all\ I\ need\ is\ a\ paper\ plate.\ Going\ to\ \nButch's\ with\ this\ fresh\ poopie.\ I\ hope\ he's\ thirsty.\ Because\ this\ poop\ is\ :\ \nsoupy.\ My\ bowel\ movements\ are\ incredibly\ loose.\ Thats\ ok,\ I\ lo\ Its\ a\ shame\ \nthat\ my\ body\ is\ nothing\ but\ lard.\ Oh\ the\ life\ of\ a\ Linux\ Fatty\ Shit-eating\ \nScat\ Fiend.\ Oh\ no\ mom\ is\ comming!!!\ This\ chat\ session\ :\ screen'd\n%\nWhen\ I\ installed\ Linux\ it\ asked\ me\ for\ my\ credit\ card\ number.\ Two\ days\ later\ \nI\ got\ a\ call\ from\ Wachovia\ asking\ me\ if\ I\ had\ purchased\ \$400\ worth\ of\ \nTotino's\ pizza\ rolls\ and\ Mountain\ Dew\ (I\ hadn't).\ Let\ this\ be\ a\ warning\ to\ \nall\ of\ you\ out\ there\ in\ the\ Internet.\n%\ndidnt\ ben\ franklin\ invent\ lightning\ or\ was\ that\ edison?\n%\nSo\ I'm\ out\ with\ my\ niece\ at\ our\ local\ shopping\ mall\ here\ in\ Philadelphia,\ \ncalled\ the\ Gallery,\ we\ had\ just\ gotten\ some\ delicious\ banana\ yogurt\ \nshakes...and\ who\ do\ we\ see\ but\ Mr.\ Hasselhoff!\ He\ was\ signing\ sneakers\ at\ \nFoot\ Locker,\ apparently\ he\ has\ a\ new\ line\ of\ Sketchers\ out\ or\ something\ (?)\ \nand\ there\ he\ was.\ I\ told\ him\ that\ I\ used\ to\ wish\ i\ had\ a\ car\ like\ Kitt\ and\ \nhe\ laughed\ and\ then\ i\ laughed\ and\ then\ he\ got\ really\ serious\ all\ of\ a\ \nsudden.He\ leaned\ close\ and\ whispered\ to\ me\ that\ Kitt\ was\ real.\ He\ said\ he\ \ncould\ press\ a\ button\ and\ Kitt\ would\ come\ flying\ into\ the\ mall\ right\ there\ \nrunning\ over\ people\ and\ causing\ massive\ havoc.\ I'm\ not\ sure\ if\ he\ was\ \nkidding\ or\ not\ but\ my\ niece\ got\ real\ scared\ and\ spilled\ her\ banana\ yogurt\ \nshake.\ Is\ this\ unusual\ for\ Mr.\ Hasselhoff\ to\ act\ like\ this?\ This\ is\ our\ \nfirst\ David\ sighting\ and\ to\ be\ honest\ i\ was\ a\ little\ nervous.\n%\nYOU\ ARE\ THE\ BIGGEST\ FUCKING\ GROUP\ OF\ UTTER.\ FUCKING.\ IDIOTIC.\ SHIT\ EATING.\ \nCIRCLEJERK.\ FAGGOTS.\ EVER.\ TO.\ WALK.\ THE.\ EARTH.\ NOTHING\ YOU\ SAY\ TO\ ME\ CAN\ \nHURT\ ME\ AT\ ALL!\ YOU\ ARE\ NOT\ INTELLIGENT,\ EDGY\ OR\ COOL,\ YOU\ ARE\ JUST\ A\ \nPATHETIC\ FUCKING\ PIECES\ OF\ SHIT\ WHO\ LIKE\ TO\ BELLITLE\ OTHERS\ OVER\ THE\ \nINTERNET\ TO\ FEEL\ BETTER\ ABOUT\ THEMSELVES.\ FUCK\ YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\n%\nSo\ you're\ working\ out\ and\ getting\ buff\ so\ you\ are\ strong\ to\ do\ what?\ \n\"Getting\ women\"\ as\ if\ they\ are\ objects\ to\ do\ what?\ Fuck\ them\ and\ forget\ \nabout\ it?\ Some\ life.\ \"Getting\ women\"\ improves\ your\ social\ status\ amongst\ \nthose\ who\ hi-five\ people\ for\ being\ \"playa\"s.\ \ Who\ gives\ a\ damn\ about\ being\ \nmore\ social\ amongst\ those\ vapid\ wastes\ of\ food\ and\ employment?\ Video\ games\ \nare\ a\ great\ way\ to\ have\ fun,\ and\ enjoy\ things\ that\ are\ availible\ to\ you\ in\ \nlife.\ \ Not\ only\ this,\ but\ the\ making\ of\ a\ game\ is\ an\ art\ form\ -\ by\ playing\ \nthrough,\ say,\ an\ RPG,\ you\ are\ treated\ to\ a\ grand\ story\ that\ is\ just\ \noverwhelmingly\ more\ fufilling\ than\ going\ out,\ fucking\ some\ chick,\ hi-fiving\ \nyourself\ and\ calling\ it\ a\ night.\n%\nfor\ the\ past\ several\ years\ I've\ been\ mailing\ all\ my\ feces\ to\ Ralph\ Nader.\ \nEvery\ time\ I\ defecate,\ I\ do\ so\ in\ a\ zip\ lock\ bag,\ which\ I\ then\ send\ to\ Ralph\ \nNader's\ home\ address\ via\ USPS\ priority\ mail.\ Though\ I\ always\ clearly\ write\ \nmy\ name\ and\ address\ on\ the\ return\ portion\ of\ the\ envelope,\ I\ have\ never\ \nrecieved\ a\ reply,\ nor\ have\ any\ of\ my\ mailings\ been\ refused\ :|\n%\nI\ lick\ my\ own\ fecal\ matter\ from\ time\ to\ time,\ it's\ not\ as\ bad\ as\ you'd\ \nthink.\ I\ even\ got\ my\ old\ girlfriend\ to\ try\ it,\ I\ talked\ it\ about\ it\ for\ so\ \nlong,\ I\ actually\ convinced\ her\ to\ wipe\ me\ after\ a\ dump\ with\ her\ tounge.\ She\ \ngot\ stabbed\ by\ some\ guy\ 2\ months\ later.\n%\nA\ beautiful\ young\ lady\ is\ on\ her\ knees\ sucking\ my\ cock.\ I\ am\ leaning\ forward\ \nand\ bracing\ myself\ against\ the\ wall.\ I\ can\ feel\ her\ spreading\ my\ ass\ cheeks\ \nto\ allow\ her\ boyfriend\ to\ enter\ me.\ He's\ in\ and\ starting\ to\ stroke\ in\ and\ \nout.\ Every\ forward\ thrust\ pushes\ my\ cock\ further\ and\ further\ into\ her\ mouth.\ \nI\ can\ feel\ her\ reaching\ under\ my\ balls\ to\ feel\ his\ cock\ going\ in\ and\ out\ of\ \nmy\ ass.\n%\njust\ went\ to\ micro\$ofts\ web\ site\ to\ get\ some\ drivers\ for\ my\ cousin\ and\ it\ \nlocked\ my\ machine\ -\ Of\ course\ I\ am\ using\ unbuntu\ and\ firefox\ -\ funny\ thing\ \nis\ when\ I\ unplugged\ my\ network\ cable\ I\ got\ my\ mouse\ back\ and\ disconnected\ \nfrom\ their\ site\ -\ seems\ everything\ works\ fine\ now\ but\ I\ sure\ hope\ they\ \nweren't\ trying\ to\ put\ sypware\ or\ root\ kit\ on\ my\ computer.\ they\ will\ hear\ \nfrom\ if\ I\ find\ anything.\ piss\ off\ microsoft\ -\ what\ are\ you\ now\ keeping\ \npeople\ that\ don't\ run\ your\ os\ from\ your\ web\ site.\n%\nDid\ you\ know\ that\ the\ first\ knights\ in\ Medieval\ times\ were\ actually\ Negroid?\ \nIndeed,\ the\ word\ \"knight\"\ comes\ from\ the\ Old\ English\ \"niht\"\ meaning\ night\ or\ \ndarkness.\ As\ time\ progressed,\ more\ and\ more\ Caucasians\ were\ accepted\ into\ \nthis\ sacrosanct\ brotherhood,\ but\ many\ historians\ agree\ that,\ while\ King\ \nArthur\ was\ definitely\ a\ white\ man,\ his\ entire\ round\ table\ of\ knights\ were\ \nexclusively\ colored!\n%\nI'm\ gambling\ that\ Apple\ is\ expecting\ to\ keep\ profit\ margins\ up\ by\ keeping\ \nreturn/repair\ rates\ extremely\ low\ by\ using\ quality\ components\n%\ni\ need\ dank\ nugs,\ smoke\ roach\ bugs,\ bird-man\ lugs,\ tree\ smokin\ thugs,\ i'm\ on\ \na\ mission\ to\ secure\ a\ blunt,\ don't\ be\ pullin\ no\ bogartin'\ stunt,\ hoardin\ \nthat\ shit\ ain't\ really\ kind,\ absorb\ that\ herb\ into\ yo\ mind,\ smokin'\ and\ \ntokin'\ until\ you're\ blind,\ what\ out\ for\ 5-0\ or\ you\ gonna\ get\ fined\n%\nAll\ this\ \"linux\ dependabilty\ uptime\ unix\ lol\"\ bullshit\ is\ just\ that,\ a\ crock\ \nof\ shit.\ How\ fucking\ hard\ is\ it\ to\ hit\ a\ goddamn\ reset\ button,\ you\ fat\ \nfucking\ sysadmins?\ I\ realize\ your\ just\ about\ to\ hit\ level\ 87\ in\ everquest\ \nand\ you're\ already\ sweating\ from\ reaching\ for\ that\ jolt\ cola\ but\ for\ the\ \nlove\ of\ god\ PLEASE\ stop\ using\ these\ stupid,\ unusable\ operating\ systems!\n%\nMy\ favorites:\ Maxell\ 80\ Minute\ Pro\ (blue)\ for\ solid\ robust\ low\ end,\ detail\ \nand\ clean\ immediacy\;\ Maxell\ Music\ 80\ minute\ gold\ for\ a\ balanced\ \nhight-to-mid-to-bottom\ and\ wide\ sparkle\;\ Fuji\ 80\ Minute\ Audio\ for\ a\ wetter\ \nsound\ (smoothes\ out\ the\ edges).\ Memorex\ Music\ 80\ minutes\ is\ very\ nice,\ Taiyo\ \nYuden\ 700\ MB\ are\ close,\ the\ Mitsui\ and\ BASF\ are\ in\ there,\ Sony\ could\ be\ \nbetter...\n%\nEcstasy,\ also\ known\ as\ MDMA,\ is\ popular\ in\ raves\ as\ a\ drug\ that\ promotes\ \ntolerance.\ An\ empathogen,\ ecstasy\ gives\ its\ user\ heightened\ acceptance\ \ntowards\ other\ people.\ Why\ not\ use\ this\ power\ to\ pacify\ racists?\ My\ idea\ \ncalls\ for\ the\ forced\ injection\ of\ MDMA\ into\ racists,\ or\ risk\ the\ loss\ of\ \nproperty.\ After\ developing\ an\ initial\ addiction\ to\ ecstasy,\ users\ will\ be\ \nrequired\ to\ fuel\ their\ addiction\ by\ purchasing\ more\ of\ the\ substance.\ \nGovernment-run\ vendors\ can\ sell\ their\ wares\ to\ give\ wealth\ back\ to\ minority\ \ncommunities.\ This\ scheme\ will\ allow\ the\ racists\ to\ become\ normal,\ productive\ \nmembers\ of\ society\ while\ putting\ more\ money\ in\ the\ hands\ of\ those\ that\ need\ \nit\ the\ most.\n%\nDon't\ the\ greedy\ boneheads\ at\ Thompson\ Multimedia\ and\ Fraunhofer\ \nGesellschaft\ see\ that\ they\ are\ poisoning\ their\ own\ water\ supply\ by\ causing\ \nthe\ Open\ Source\ community\ to\ develop\ better,\ and\ free,\ codecs\ like\ Ogg\ \nVorbis?\n%\nSo\ there\ I\ was\ zipping\ through\ the\ skies\ of\ Iraq\ in\ a\ helicopter\ my\ \nassociates\ had\ rented\ from\ Blackpool.\ We\ had\ been\ sweating\ it\ out\ as\ we\ were\ \nforced\ to\ maintain\ a\ low\ altitude\ to\ stay\ under\ the\ AAF\ radar,\ which\ kept\ us\ \nsafe\ from\ missile\ batteries\ but\ exposed\ us\ to\ any\ ground\ troops\ we\ happened\ \nacross.\ We\ were\ almost\ home\ free\ to\ the\ green\ zone,\ when\ we\ heard\ the\ \ntelltale\ WHOOSH!\ of\ a\ shoulder-mounted\ ground-to-air\ missile.\ The\ pilot\ \nscreamed\ and\ in\ a\ flash\ we\ were\ spiraling\ out\ of\ control\ and\ the\ ground\ was\ \nrushing\ up\ to\ meet\ us.\ When\ I\ came\ to,\ I\ thought\ I\ must\ be\ in\ heaven,\ \nbecause\ the\ wind\ was\ gently\ rustling\ the\ green\ grass\ that\ seemed\ to\ be\ \ncushioning\ me.\ I\ smiled\ at\ the\ feeling\ of\ the\ warm\ sun\ upon\ my\ face.\ Then\ \nthe\ Arabic\ men\ came.\ While\ a\ thin\ wiry\ one\ waved\ his\ rifle\ and\ screamed\ \nunintelligibly\ at\ me,\ one\ of\ the\ fat\ ones\ pulled\ me\ up\ by\ the\ hair\ to\ my\ \nknees\ and\ unzipped\ his\ khaki\ reliefs.\ Out\ sprung\ the\ largest\ cock\ I've\ ever\ \nseen\ on\ a\ dark-skinned\ man.\ It\ smelled\ of\ couscous\ and\ camels,\ and\ when\ he\ \nforced\ it\ down\ my\ throat\ I\ could\ taste\ a\ hint\ of\ Brut.\ They\ all\ took\ turns\ \nthroat-raping\ me,\ and\ they\ all\ had\ a\ good\ laugh\ when\ my\ screams\ abruptly\ \nstopped\ as\ one\ of\ the\ larger\ cocks\ dislocated\ my\ larynx\ from\ my\ throat\ down\ \ninto\ my\ stomach\ and\ I\ began\ to\ bleed\ from\ my\ nose\ and\ ears.\ After\ they\ were\ \nall\ satisfied,\ they\ pointed\ their\ barrels\ at\ me\ and\ I\ felt\ hot\ lead\ tearing\ \nthrough\ my\ body.\ As\ I\ lay\ prone\ on\ the\ ground,\ just\ before\ I\ blacked\ out,\ I\ \nfelt\ something\ hot\ on\ my\ back\ and\ realized\ that\ the\ fat\ one\ was\ urinating\ \nall\ over\ my\ broken\ American\ corpse\ ohh\ yeah\n%\ni\ was\ going\ through\ the\ logs\ in\ my\ toilet\ today\ and\ i\ found\ a\ letter.\ \ i\ \ndon't\ remember\ eating\ a\ letter.\ \ funny\ thing\ is..\ it\ was\ a\ letter\ from\ my\ \ncolon\ telling\ me\ to\ eat\ less\ fiber.\ \ ps:\ i'm\ shutting\ down\ until\ you\ have\ \nsex\ with\ men.\ \ after\ plowing\ the\ fields\ of\ the\ nearest\ 12\ guys\ i\ could\ find,\ \nmy\ brother\ walks\ into\ the\ room.\ \ he\ says,\ \"haha\ jokes\ on\ you\ i\ put\ that\ note\ \nin\ your\ turd.\ \ you\ just\ fucked\ a\ bunch\ of\ dudes\ for\ nothing,\ homo!\"\ \ this\ is\ \nwhy\ i\ hate\ procreation.\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ from\ stdout\ because\ i'd\ like\ to\ pipe\ you\n%\nWe've\ got\ Justice\ Kennedy\ writing\ decisions\ based\ upon\ international\ law,\ \nnot\ the\ Constitution\ of\ the\ United\ States?\ That's\ just\ outrageous.\ And\ not\ \nonly\ that,\ but\ he\ said\ in\ session\ that\ he\ does\ his\ own\ research\ on\ the\ \nInternet?\ That\ is\ just\ incredibly\ outrageous.\n%\nis\ it\ gay\ that\ sometimes\ when\ i\ take\ a\ shit\ i\ get\ goosebumps\ all\ over\ my\ \nbody?\n%\nYou\ sick,\ sick\ butthole\ licking\ UNIX\ fags.\ How\ DARE\ you\ use\ the\ disgusting\ \nand\ fecal\ OS\ that\ is\ Linux.\ Windows\ is\ BEST!\ You\ fags\ get\ raped\ in\ the\ mind\ \nby\ Tux.\ His\ fag\ penguin\ guise\ makes\ you\ shreik\ out\ in\ terror\ for\ Windows,\ \nbut\ he\ fuckes\ you\ so\ much\ you\ are\ forced\ to\ use\ Linux.\ I\ bet\ the\ fags\ who\ \nreply\ to\ this\ are\ being\ ass\ raped\ as\ we\ speak.\ Linux\ is\ buggy,\ slow,\ bloated\ \nand\ turns\ you\ into\ a\ fag.\ Windows\ is\ best!\ You\ huge\ fruits\ and\ your\ lies\ \nabout\ bill\ games\ must\ cease.\n%\nYOU\ KNOW,\ YOU\ NEEDLE-DICKED\ PANSIES\ COWER\ IN\ FEAR\ WHEN\ I\ WHIP\ MY\ TOWERING\ \nCYCLOPS\ OUT.\ MY\ PENIS\ CONSUMES\ LIGHT\ AND\ WHOLE\ ASTEROIDS\ LIKE\ THEY\ WERE\ \nNOTHING.\ ONE\ TIME\ I\ GOT\ AN\ ERECTION\ AND\ WELL\ THAT\ CAUSED\ A\ WHOLE\ GALAXY\ TO\ \nBE\ SHATTERED\ BY\ THE\ SHEER\ FORCE.\ WHEN\ I\ EJACULATE\ IT\ CAUSES\ THE\ \nGRAVITATIONAL\ CONSTANT\ OF\ THE\ UNIVERSE\ TO\ BE\ ALTERED\ BECAUSE\ OF\ THE\ SUDDEN\ \nINCREASE\ IN\ MASS.\ AT\ THE\ END\ OF\ TIME\ THERE\ WILL\ BE\ NOTHING\ LEFT\ IN\ THE\ \nUNIVERSE\ BUT\ DARK\ MATTER\ AND\ MY\ PENIS.\ MY\ PENIS\ EXISTS\ IN\ FOUR\ DIMENSIONS,\ \nEXPANDING\ OUTWARD\ AT\ LIGHT\ SPEED\ LIKE\ TIME\ ITSELF.\ MY\ PENIS\ COMPOSES\ THE\ \nUNIVERSE\ AND\ TICKLES\ AZATHOTH'S\ OMNIPOTENT\ BUNGHOLE\ WHEN\ THE\ STARS\ ARE\ \nRIGHT.\ ENTROPY\ IS\ BUT\ A\ FART\ IN\ THE\ WIND\ FOR\ MY\ PENIS.\ MY\ PENIS\ CAN\ BREAK\ \nMATHEMATICS!\ IT\ IS\ ABLE\ TO\ TRANSCEND\ REALITY\ AND\ DESTROY\ HUMAN\ THOUGHT\ WITH\ \nITS\ SHEER\ VOLUME\ AND\ MASS.\ MY\ PENIS\ HAS\ A\ PENIS,\ AND\ THAT\ PENIS\ IS\ STILL\ \nBIGGER\ THAN\ YOUR\ PENIS.\n%\nRemember\ the\ Alamo!\ Shoot\ 'em!\ To\ show\ you\ how\ radical\ I\ am,\ I\ want\ \ncarjackers\ dead.\ I\ want\ rapists\ dead.\ I\ want\ burglars\ dead.\ I\ want\ child\ \nmolesters\ dead.\ I\ want\ the\ bad\ guys\ dead.\ No\ court\ case.\ No\ parole.\ No\ early\ \nrelease.\ I\ want\ 'em\ dead.\ Get\ a\ gun\ and\ when\ they\ attack\ you,\ shoot\ 'em.\n%\nI\ use\ Firefox\ sometimes,\ but\ it\ really\ isn't\ that\ good.\ I'd\ rathewr\ use\ IE\ \nthan\ Firefox\ because\ who\ knows\ what\ these\ open-source\ people\ can\ do\ with\ \nyour\ credit\ card\ numbers.\ Not\ that\ Microsoft\ needs\ anymore\ money,\ so\ they\ \nwon't\ try\ to\ scab\ it\ off\ me.\ And\ at\ least\ they\ patch\ their\ browser\ \nautomatically\ with\ Automatic\ Updates\n%\nI'm\ saying\ to\ all\ the\ rappers\ keep\ it\ real.\ Not\ everyone\ on\ your\ road\ crew\ \nlikes\ pussy\ and\ you\ know\ it.\ The\ stylists\ that\ lean\ in\ your\ face,\ do\ your\ \nmake\ up,\ braid\ your\ hair\ may\ just\ have\ your\ body\ guards\ dick\ on\ his\ breath\ -\ \nwhile\ he\ is\ all\ in\ yo\ grill.\n%\npicture\ yourself\ at\ college.\ she's\ the\ foreign\ exchange\ student\ from\ ...\ not\ \nchina,\ the\ other\ one.\ in\ any\ case\ her\ english\ is\ poor\ and\ she\ laughs\ at\ even\ \nyour\ shittiest\ jokes\ without\ understanding.\ you\ know\ she\ likes\ you.\ the\ only\ \nguys\ after\ her\ are\ skinny\ adenoidal\ fags\ that\ she\ gets\ enough\ of\ back\ home.\ \nshe\ laughs\ at\ their\ jokes\ too,\ but\ it's\ not\ them\ she\ sits\ by\ in\ class,\ you\ \ncome\ to\ associate\ that\ class\ with\ the\ smell\ of\ her.\ late\ one\ night\ you're\ in\ \nthe\ library.\ she's\ there\ because\ you're\ there.\ you\ take\ her\ skinny\ wrist\ and\ \nwordlessly\ lead\ her\ to\ the\ carousel\ you\ booked.\ there\ are\ cameras,\ and\ \nneither\ of\ you\ care.\ her\ breathing\ flutters\ and\ she\ looks\ elsewhere\ as\ you\ \npull\ her\ close.\ you\ slide\ a\ hand\ down\ there,\ gliding\ on\ silken\ skin.\ she\ \nleaks\ like\ a\ swollen\ sponge\ that\ has\ absorbed\ all\ it\ can.\ she's\ never\ been\ \nfucked\ in\ a\ library\ before.\ but\ she's\ never\ met\ anyone\ as\ big\ and\ black\ as\ \nyou\ before.\n%\nYou\ know\ how\ sometimes\ when\ you\ poop,\ it's\ a\ blue\ color?\ \ Well,\ I\ had\ one\ of\ \nthose\ poops\ on\ Friday\ because\ I\ had\ been\ eating\ artificially\ colored\ animal\ \ncrackers.\ \ After\ pinching\ a\ couple\ out,\ I\ thought\ it\ would\ be\ funny\ to\ trick\ \nmy\ girlfriend.\ \ I\ placed\ them\ on\ the\ coffee\ table\ and\ told\ her\ they\ were\ \nnovelty\ candies.\ \ Before\ I\ could\ tell\ her\ I\ was\ just\ joking,\ she\ took\ a\ \nbite!\ \ Well,\ after\ a\ long\ weekend\ in\ the\ hospital,\ my\ girlfriend\ died\ of\ \nspinal\ meningitis.\ \ God's\ going\ to\ punish\ me\ for\ this\ one,\ I\ just\ know\ it.\n%\nCheck\ this\ shit\ out.\ Sucks\ pubic\ hair\ from\ your\ furniture\ and\ sextoys\ \nwithout\ stopping\ every\ 5\ minutes\ to\ douche.\ The\ Dyson\ DC\ 14\ Animal\ features\ \na\ telescopic\ vibrating\ dildo\ that\ instantly\ releases\ semen\ 17\ feet\ at\ the\ \ntouch\ of\ a\ vein.\ In\ addition,\ the\ DC\ 14\ Animal\ features\ a\ wide\ vagina\ that\ \npicks\ up\ large\ hookers\ that\ other\ trick\ ass\ niggas\ leave\ behind.\ A\ mini\ \nturbine\ head-sucking\ dog\ and\ cat\ combination\ saves\ you\ from\ tight\ spaces\ \nlike\ ass,\ pussy\ or\ lips\ and\ a\ low\ reach\ faggot\ tool\ simplifies\ the\ task\ of\ \nfelching\ under\ pressure.\ The\ DC\ 14\ Animal\ also\ features\ a\ carpet\ care\ kit\ to\ \nkeep\ your\ camel\ toe\ looking\ like\ new.\ Available\ at\ your\ local\ zoo.\n%\nIf\ Jesus\ was\ Jewish,\ then\ why\ did\ he\ have\ a\ Puerto\ Rican\ name?\ You\ Stupid\ \nFaggots.\n%\nDear\ Sir,With\ due\ respect\ and\ humility\ I\ am\ writing\ this\ mail\ letter\ to\ you\ \nwhich\ I\ believe\ that\ this\ letter\ will\ not\ embarrassed\ you\ as\ we\ have\ not\ met\ \nor\ seen\ each\ other\ before.My\ name\ is\ Pastor\ Steve\ Camara,\ from\ republic\ of\ \nBenin\ in\ west\ Africa\ region,\ pastor\ in\ charge\ of\ Revival\ Church\ Of\ God\ \nMission\ (RCGM)\ here\ in\ Abidjan\ Cote\ D'\ Ivoire.I\ am\ writing\ you\ in\ regards\ of\ \nmoney\ transfer\ which\ late\ Pope\ John\ Paul\ II\ reviewed\ to\ me\ a\ week\ ago\ before\ \nhis\ death\ through\ feeding\ tube\ after\ his\ long\ ill\ health,\ that\ his\ late\ wife\ \nwho\ is\ Mrs.\ Esther\ Benson\ deposited\ the\ sum\ of\ US\$\ 4.000.000.00(four\ Million\ \nDollars)\ with\ a\ finance\ house\ here\ in\ Abidjan\ for\ the\ two\ (2)\ remaining\ \nchildren\ PAUL\ III\ AND\ MARY\ for\ there\ future.Before\ the\ death\ of\ Pope\ John\ \nPaul\ II\ he\ told\ me\ that\ this\ money\ US\$\ 4.000.000.00\ Dollars\ wasacquired\ \ngenuinely,\ that\ his\ late\ wife\ has\ a\ diamond\ shop\ in\ there\ country\ which\ was\ \ndestroyed\ during\ the\ war\ that\ leads\ to\ his\ husband\ death\ two\ year\ ago\ \nthrough\ heart\ attack.It\ is\ because\ of\ the\ confidence\ he\ had\ on\ me\ as\ his\ \npastor,\ he\ told\ me\ about\ this\ deposit\ and\ his\ last\ request\ to\ me\ before\ his\ \nfinal\ breat\ is\ that\ I\ should\ try\ as\ much\ as\ I\ can\ to\ look\ for\ foreigner,\ \neither\ individual,\ company\ or\ organisation\ who\ can\ handle\ this\ transaction\ \nwith\ care\ and\ confidence\ for\ the\ future\ of\ her\ two\ children\ that\ is\ \npresently\ staying\ with\ me\ as\ there\ parents\ for\ now\ as\ she\ cannot\ make\ it\ for\ \nthem.Finally,\ if\ this\ letter\ touches\ your\ heart\ and\ you\ are\ willing\ to\ be\ of\ \nassistance\ to\ this\ two\ children,\ I\ will\ like\ you\ to\ indicate\ your\ full\ \ninterest\ to\ enable\ me\ give\ you\ more\ details\ on\ how\ to\ proceed\ with\ this\ \ntransfer.\ Also\ note\ that\ all\ the\ deposit\ document\ of\ this\ money\ was\ on\ this\ \nwoman\ name\ as\ the\ beneficiary\ that\ made\ with\ the\ finance\ house\ \nhere.Expecting\ your\ urgent\ mail\ to\ this\ effect.Thanks\ and\ remain\ bless.\n%\nthat\ is\ the\ nerdiest\ thing\ i\ have\ ever\ seen\ aside\ from\ my\ girlfriend\ and\ i\ \nwearing\ matching\ firefox\ tshirts\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ in\ the\ kkk\ because\ i\ think\ we'll\ have\ a\ lot\ of\ fun\ once\ we\ \nget\ under\ the\ sheets\n%\nGirl,\ you\ must\ be\ Snort\ because\ I'd\ like\ to\ trigger\ your\ intrusion\ detection\ \nsystems\n%\nI'm\ going\ to\ be\ taking\ a\ long\ vacation\ in\ a\ couple\ months\ and\ I\ want\ to\ take\ \na\ sheet\ of\ acid\ over\ with\ me.\ I'd\ really\ rather\ not\ bring\ it\ with\ me\ on\ the\ \nplane\ as\ I've\ seen\ the\ security\ measures\ at\ the\ airport\ I'll\ be\ flying\ to\ \nand\ they're\ pretty\ strict,\ so\ I\ was\ thinking\ of\ faxing\ it\ over\ before\ hand.\ \nAnyone\ know\ if\ this\ would\ work?\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ grand\ theft\ auto:\ san\ andreas\ because\ once\ i\ get\ inside\ of\ \nyou\ i'm\ going\ to\ do\ all\ sorts\ of\ illegal\ things\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ tiger\ woods\ because\ no\ matter\ what\ you\ do,\ you'll\ still\ \njust\ be\ a\ nigger\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ a\ dialup\ internet\ connection\ because\ every\ time\ i\ want\ to\ \ndo\ something\ useful\ on\ the\ phone\ i\ have\ to\ shut\ you\ up\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ an\ o'reilly\ technical\ manual\ because\ despite\ your\ high\ \nprice\ tag,\ you\ never\ say\ anything\ meaningful\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ charles\ barkley\ because\ i\ want\ to\ take\ you\ to\ the\ hole\ but\ \ni\ doubt\ you\ would\ be\ impressed\ with\ my\ full-court\ press\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ a\ rare\ warez\ release\ because\ after\ i\ get\ my\ hands\ on\ you,\ \ni'm\ going\ to\ pass\ you\ off\ to\ all\ of\ my\ friends\n%\nDid\ you\ know?\ Timothy\ McVeigh\ conspired\ with\ Terry\ Nichols\ to\ destroy\ the\ \nAlfred\ P.\ Murrah\ Federal\ Building\ by\ exchanging\ messages\ using\ the\ popular\ \n\"Bit\ Torrent\"\ internet\ program,\ which\ quickly\ and\ anonymously\ allows\ users\ \nto\ exchange\ large\ volumes\ of\ confidential\ documents.\n%\n######\ REFUSE\ RACISM\ &\ POLITICAL\ GARBAGE\ ON\ OSS\ #######UBUNTO\ IS\ AN\ \nANTI-WHITE\ RACIST\ OS\ FUNDED\ BY\ AN\ AFRICAN-AMERICAN\ WHO\ USES\ LINUX\ TO\ THROW\ \nHIS\ AFRICAN\ PROPAGANDA\ DOWN\ OUR\ COLLECTIVE\ THROATS!!REFRAIN\ FROM\ ABUSING\ OSS\ \nTO\ PEDAL\ POLITICAL\ PROGANDA!HAVING\ AN\ OS\ THAT\ PEDALS\ MULTICULTURALISM,\ \nMISCEGENATION\ AND\ INTERRACIAL\ RELATIONS\ IS\ THE\ EQUAL\ OF\ AN\ 'ANTI-JEW\ OS\ \nBUILD'\ -\ UNNACEPTABLE,\ DISGUSTING\ AND\ ANTI-OPEN\ SOURCE.MR\ AMERICAN\ BLACK\ \nSUPREMACIST\ -\ OPENSOURCE\ DOES\ NOT\ NEED\ *NOR\ WANTS*\ YOUR\ MONEY.######\ REFUSE\ \nRACISM\ &\ POLITICAL\ GARBAGE\ ON\ OSS\ #######\n%\nPunctuation\ marks\ that\ look\ like\ smiley\ faces\ express\ happiness\ on\ a\ new\ \ncommunication\ tool\ known\ as\ \"Internet.\"\ The\ computer\ network\ is\ already\ \nbeing\ used\ by\ 15\ million\ people\ worldwide\ to\ chat\ or\ do\ important\ research.\n%\nDid\ you\ know:\ Google\ Inc.\ was\ the\ original\ corporate\ investor\ in\ 50\ Cent's\ \ncareer,\ advancing\ him\ \$15,000\ to\ produce\ his\ first\ album\ \"Get\ Rich\ Or\ Die\ \nTryin\"\ (Interscope\ 2003).\ 50\ Cent\ gave\ Google\ a\ grateful\ nod\ when\ he\ named\ \nhis\ side\ group\ \"G-Unit\"\ (Google\ Unit),\ and\ they\ maintain\ a\ healthy\ business\ \nrelationship\ to\ this\ day.\n%\nRussel\ Simmons\ is\ truely\ a\ hero\ amongst\ us.\ \ He\ owns\ his\ own\ music\ label,\ \nshoe\ company,\ and\ even\ a\ clothing\ line,\ rightfully\ named\ PHAT\ FARM!\ \ The\ \nclothes\ are\ hand\ stitched\ together\ by\ hundreds\ of\ obese\ naked\ women\ sitting\ \nin\ tubs\ of\ sperm.\ \ Their\ only\ form\ of\ payment\ is\ cunnilingus\ performed\ by\ \nfarm\ animals,\ hence\ the\ clothing\ name!\ \ Simmons\ is\ a\ brilliant\ man!\n%\nalright\ im\ not\ a\ freak\ lyk\ you....i\ dont\ put\ little\ periods\ after\ my\ \nsentences..aportophes\ in\ my\ sentences\ or\ fricking\ commas\ :-D\ so\ i'd\ say\ you\ \nback\ the\ fuck\ off\ because\ your\ the\ kind\ of\ person\ NOBODY\ likes\ cuz\ your\ a\ \nfatass\ loser\ with\ no\ friends\ and\ is\ a\ stuck\ up\ freak:-)\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ the\ warp\ core\ of\ the\ starship\ enterprise\ because\ if\ you\ \never\ start\ acting\ up\ i\ will\ dump\ you\n%\nAll\ the\ guys\ in\ this\ IRC\ channel\ I\ hang\ out\ in\ are\ really\ profane\ and\ gross.\ \nThey\ talk\ about\ child\ porn\ and\ act\ racist\ a\ lot\ of\ the\ time,\ and\ every\ night\ \nbefore\ I\ go\ to\ bed\ I\ pray\ for\ God's\ forgiveness,\ and\ for\ God\ to\ forgive\ \nthem.\ Then\ I\ remember\ I'm\ wiccan.\ Blessed\ be!\n%\nCan\ anyone\ tell\ me\ how\ many\ times\ these\ high\ and\ mighty\ evolution\ scientists\ \nhave\ already\ backpedalled\ and\ changed\ their\ version\ of\ the\ truth\ to\ fit\ some\ \nnew\ finding?\ I've\ already\ lost\ the\ count...\ pathetic,\ really.\n%\nI\ am\ amazed\ at\ all\ the\ scientists\ who\ think\ they\ know\ \"facts\"\ when\ their\ \ntheories\ are\ not\ really\ anything\ more\ then\ a\ \"best\ guess\".\ And\ their\ guesses\ \ncare\ changing\ all\ the\ time.\ God's\ story\ has\ not\ changed\ at\ all.\ I\ believe\ we\ \nshould\ teach\ creationism\ in\ schools,\ it\ will\ serve\ more\ people\ better.\ Out\ \nof\ a\ high\ school\ graduation\ class\ of\ 1000,\ how\ many\ will\ go\ on\ to\ a\ career\ \nin\ science?\ Say\ that\ 700\ of\ them\ go\ on\ to\ college\ and\ that\ 300\ go\ into\ the\ \nwork\ force.\ Of\ the\ 700,\ 100\ decide\ they\ want\ to\ major\ in\ physics\ or\ \nchemistry.\ Of\ them\ 70\ get\ weeded\ out.\ You\ now\ have\ 30\ people\ who\ will\ \ncontinue.\ The\ other\ 970\ people\ will\ be\ better\ served\ with\ an\ education\ that\ \nfocuses\ on\ creationism.\ We\ are\ living\ in\ a\ time\ with\ relative\ ethics.\ We\ are\ \nliving\ in\ an\ increasing\ secular\ society,\ where\ life\ means\ little.\ We\ all\ \nwatched\ in\ horror\ as\ the\ Teri\ Shiavo\ in\ Florida\ was\ starved\ to\ death.\ That\ \nnever\ should\ have\ happened,\ in\ the\ light\ that\ there\ is\ information\ that\ her\ \nhusband\ might\ have\ beat\ her\ the\ night\ she\ collapsed,\ and\ the\ uncertainty\ of\ \nher\ wishes.\ Even\ our\ most\ prized\ and\ well\ written\ scientists\ believe\ in\ God.\ \nEinstein\ believed\ in\ God,\ he\ was\ quoted\ as\ saying\ \"I\ want\ to\ know\ God's\ \nthoughts,\ the\ rest\ are\ just\ details\".\n%\nGrowing\ up\ in\ the\ Deep\ South\ you\ are\ exposed\ hunting\ and\ trapping\ at\ an\ \nearly\ age.\ I\ will\ never\ forget\ the\ time\ my\ father\ got\ so\ drunk\ on\ Robitussin\ \nthat\ after\ beating\ me\ repeatedly\ with\ a\ rake\ he\ went\ outside\ to\ place\ traps\ \nto\ ensnare\ wild\ animals\ that\ we\ could\ use\ for\ food.\ After\ a\ few\ ours\ of\ \nstalking\ about\ he\ came\ inside\ and\ found\ me\ lying\ on\ the\ floor\ half\ conscious\ \nhe\ chastised\ me\ for\ being\ a\ little\ wuss\ and\ kicked\ me\ in\ the\ kidneys\ \nclaiming\ while\ shouting\ something\ about\ Jesus\ before\ passing\ out\ on\ the\ \nkitchen\ floor.\ The\ next\ morning\ the\ department\ of\ fish\ and\ game\ came\ \nknocking\ at\ our\ door\ asking\ if\ we\ knew\ anything\ about\ the\ bear\ traps\ that\ \nwere\ placed\ all\ over\ the\ apartment\ complex.\ Apparently\ he\ had\ ensnared\ \nseveral\ negroes,\ and,\ while\ it\ was\ negro\ season,\ he\ was\ over\ his\ bag\ limit\ \nand\ had\ to\ cut\ some\ of\ them\ loose.\ Man,\ those\ were\ the\ days,\ sipping\ \nlemonade\ on\ the\ porch\ while\ dad\ skinned\ niggers\ in\ the\ back\ yard.\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ a\ game\ of\ texas\ holdem\ cuz\ i\ just\ wanna\ go\ all\ in\n%\nYou\ can't\ talk\ that\ way\ about\ EverQuest\ you\ fag!\ OMG\ Just\ you\ wait\ till\ I\ \npry\ my\ ass\ out\ of\ this\ chair\ and\ lose\ 400\ lbs\ to\ climb\ out\ of\ my\ parents\ \nbasement,\ asshole!\ You're\ are\ SO\ getting\ prank\ called!\n%\nI\ watched\ this\ whole\ program\ on\ National\ Geographic\ entitled\ 'The\ Dark\ Side\ \nof\ Dolphins'\ and\ let\ me\ tell\ you,\ \ dolphins\ are\ total\ assholes.\ So\ here's\ \nthe\ deal,\ male\ dolphins\ travel\ in\ packs\ of\ two.\ These\ males\ want\ to\ get\ \nlaid,\ and\ so\ they\ trap\ a\ female\ between\ them\ and\ keep\ her\ captive\ for\ up\ to\ \na\ month,\ having\ sex\ with\ her\ as\ they\ please.\ If\ she\ tries\ to\ get\ away,\ they\ \nwill\ beat\ her\ with\ their\ snouts\ and\ fins.\ When\ you\ see\ large\ groups\ of\ them\ \nit's\ just\ a\ bunch\ of\ these\ two\ packs\ of\ males\ joining\ together\ to\ keep\ \ncaptive\ a\ few\ females\ so\ that\ they\ can\ gang\ rape\ her.\ The\ females\ hate\ it\ \nand\ try\ to\ get\ away\ but\ then\ get\ beaten\ up.\ If\ and\ when\ the\ female\ gives\ \nbirth\ she\ won't\ want\ to\ have\ sex\ while\ protecting\ her\ young,\ and\ so\ males\ \nwill\ gang\ up\ and\ try\ in\ some\ instatnces\ to\ kill\ the\ baby\ inorder\ to\ have\ sex\ \nwith\ the\ mother.\ Bottom\ line,\ dolphins\ are\ assholes.\ According\ to\ marine\ \nbiolgoists\ dolphins\ could\ have\ normal\ courtship\ and\ sex,\ but\ the\ males\ \nchoose\ not\ to\ they\ prefer\ gang\ rape.\ Dolphins\ are\ assholes.\n%\nwhat\ did\ you\ have\ for\ breakfasT?\ your\ mom?\ what\ did\ you\ have\ for\ lunch\ your\ \ndad?\ ..\ what\ did\ you\ eat\ between\ that\ a\ fucking\ pig\ fuck\ man\ eww\ ur\ so\ nasty\ \nwhatcha\ gunna\ eat\ for\ supper\ your\ fucking\ neighbors\ family\ and\ all\ your\ \nfucking\ pets\n%\nI\ AM\ GOING\ TO\ SHIT\ IN\ YOUR\ OWN\ ASS\ SO\ FAR\ IT\ COMES\ OUT\ OF\ YOUR\ MOUTH\ WHICH\ I\ \nWILL\ THEN\ SWALLOW\ AND\ THEN\ SHIT\ INTO\ YOUR\ MOUTH\ SO\ YOU\ WILL\ BE\ EATING\ MY\ \nSHAT\ SHIT\ WHILE\ SHITTING.\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ my\ shitty\ internet\ service\ provider\ because\ you're\ going\ to\ \nkick\ me\ off\ of\ you\ after\ approximately\ 5\ hours\n%\nI\ am\ a\ nose-picker.\ I\ cannot\ stand\ having\ crunchy\ snot\ clinging\ to\ the\ \ninsides\ of\ my\ nostrils,\ or\ feeling\ something\ dangling\ there\ in\ the\ back.\ So\ \nI\ dig\ it\ out.\ I'm\ also\ like\ this\ about\ cleaning\ my\ ears\;\ I\ cannot\ stand\ \nfeeling\ that\ there's\ something\ in\ there.\ Yuck.\ A\ bonus\ to\ all\ this\ is\ that\ I\ \nget\ a\ slight\ rush\ of\ euphoria\ when\ I\ dig\ out\ a\ really\ big\ booger,\ or\ find\ a\ \nlot\ of\ wax\ in\ my\ ear.\ It's\ similar\ to\ the\ rush\ of\ having\ squeezed\ out\ a\ \nprize-winning\ poop.\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ OSX\ because\ you're\ beautiful\ and\ alluring\ but\ mostly\ \nworthless\n%\nany\ 1\ got\ the\ move\ tripple\ x\ with\ vin\ deasal,\ not\ pr0n\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ a\ free\ porn\ website,\ because\ after\ one\ 10\ minute\ visit\ i'll\ \nnever\ see\ you\ again\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ internet\ explorer\ because\ you\ give\ me\ popups\ all\ the\ time\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ a\ hydroponic\ grow\ system\ because\ i\ cant\ wait\ to\ introduce\ \nmy\ seeds\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ a\ micro\$oft\ product\ because\ when\ i\ find\ your\ holes\ i'm\ \ngoing\ to\ exploit\ them\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ java\ bytecode\ because\ you\ let\ me\ use\ you\ anywhere\ I\ want\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ a\ .bin\ with\ no\ .cue\ file\ because\ I\ have\ to\ wrangle\ with\ you\ \nfor\ hours\ only\ be\ burned\ in\ the\ end\n%\ngirl\ u\ must\ be\ an\ NES\ cartridge\ because\ i\ will\ blow\ on\ your\ slot\ until\ you\ \nstart\ functioning\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ ieee-1284\ because\ i\ can\ tell\ that\ your\ port\ is\ bidirectional\n%\ngirl\ u\ must\ be\ aol\ instant\ messenger\ because\ i'd\ like\ to\ see\ all\ of\ my\ \nbuddies\ on\ you\n%\nthats\ why\ i\ prefer\ anime\ hentai\ then\ real\ porn....\ majority\ of\ porn\ is\ \nusally\ ugly\ both\ the\ body\ and\ faces\ its\ rare\ which\ you\ dont\ get\ the\ ugly\ \n(usally\ comes\ with\ alot\ of\ air\ brushing)...\ and\ its\ usally\ the\ non\ nude\ \nmodels\ which\ offer\ something\ close\ to\ hentai\ in\ cuteness/hot\ and\ non-old\ \nporn\ models.\n%\nfuck\ shit\ bitch\ ass\ tits.\ Lets\ suck\ some\ cock\ get\ knocked\ up\ and\ pass\ out\ in\ \na\ ditch.\ 9911\ emergency\ room\ party.\ smoke\ dat\ hanger\ into\ yo\ womb.\ <3\ my\ mom\ \nhad\ so\ many\ abortions\ im\ surprised\ im\ not\ in\ a\ jar\ of\ formaldehyde\ <3\ you\ \ndumb\ fucking\ p\ r\ e\ g\ g\ e\ r\ s\n%\nBREAKING\ NEWS:\ THE\ RING-LEADER\ OF\ THE\ INFAMOUS\ INTERNATIONAL\ PEDOPHILE\ RING\ \n\"THE\ CATHOLIC\ CHURCH\"\ HAS\ DIED,\ HE\ WAS\ 84.\n%\nI\ leaned\ down\ and\ smelled\ the\ seat\ where\ the\ super\ hot\ girls\ amazing\ ass\ sat\ \nfor\ at\ least\ 5\ minutes\ straight...\ It\ smelled\ like\ pure\ girl\ farts...\ a\ \nstrong\ fart\ essence\ was\ present\ in\ the\ felt\ padded\ seat\ cushion,\ I\ started\ \nbuggin\ out.\ I\ kept\ smelling\ the\ cushion\ for\ as\ long\ as\ the\ smell's\ odor\ \nretained\ it's\ embodiment.\ I\ was\ in\ heaven\ with\ the\ sexy\ fumes\ that\ only\ \nlasted\ a\ couple\ of\ minutes.\ I\ buried\ my\ face\ into\ the\ seat\ cushion\ smelling\ \nthis\ HOT\ girls\ candy\ farts.\ I\ was\ so\ happy\ that\ day.\n%\nFor\ like\ several\ years\ I\ have\ been\ afflicted\ with\ a\ really\ smelly\ crotch.\ \nIt's\ like\ I\ sweat\ a\ lot\ down\ there\ and\ it\ just\ has\ a\ really\ sweaty\ vaginal\ \nodor.\ I\ bathe\ regularly\ but\ nothing\ really\ helps\;\ by\ the\ end\ of\ the\ day\ I\ \nalways\ smell\ funky.\ This\ wouldn't\ gross\ me\ out\ if\ it\ was\ just\ an\ occasional\ \nproblem,\ but\ it\ happens\ every\ day.\ What\ can\ I\ do?\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ a\ sata2\ hard\ drive\ because\ you\ are\ modestly\ increasing\ my\ \npipe\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ a\ 0day\ topsite\ because\ I\ just\ wanna\ max\ out\ your\ slots\n%\nYou\ should\ connect\ your\ graphics\ card\ directly\ to\ the\ mains.\ You\ can\ buy\ \nmolex\ connectors\ from\ any\ good\ electronics\ store\ and\ then\ splice\ it\ into\ the\ \nlead\ from\ a\ hair\ dryer\ or\ toaster.\ This\ should\ deliver\ the\ correct\ voltage\ \ndirect\ to\ your\ graphics\ card\ (the\ molex\ also\ functions\ as\ a\ voltage\ \nregulator\ and\ AC\ rectifier).\ It's\ the\ equivalent\ of\ having\ an\ Antex\ 3kW\ \npower\ supply.\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ haggis\ cause\ you\ make\ me\ want\ to\ stuff\ you\ with\ old\ meat\n%\nLadies\ and\ gentlemen,\ against\ my\ better\ judgement,\ I\ allowed\ my\ teenage\ son\ \nto\ install\ line-ucks\ on\ our\ compaq\ presario.\ Now\ I\ can't\ make\ heads\ or\ tales\ \nof\ what's\ happening\ on\ my\ computer\ machine,\ and\ he\ is\ continously\ making\ \ndisrespectful\ remarks\ about\ Bill\ Gates\ and\ 'Micro\$uck\".\ I\ guess\ my\ only\ real\ \nquestion\ is:\ How\ long\ should\ I\ ground\ him,\ removing\ all\ access\ to\ his\ \nfriends\ and\ activities\ in\ order\ to\ cull\ this\ anti-social\ behavior?\n%\nONE\ TIME\ I\ GRABBED\ A\ FAT\ GOTHIC\ BITCH\ BY\ THE\ EARS\ AND\ SLAMMED\ HER\ GODDAMNED\ \nHEAD\ AGAINST\ THE\ TABLE\ AND\ YELLED,\ \"WHY\ ARE\ YOU\ SO\ GODDAMNED\ FAT\ AND\ UGLY?!!\ \nWHY!!!\ WHY!!!\ WHY!!!\"\ AND\ WHEN\ SHE\ STARTED\ TO\ CRY\ AND\ MADE\ HER\ WHITE\ CLOWN\ \nFACE\ PAINT\ RUN\ AND\ ALL\ THAT\ THICK\ BLACK\ EYE\ LINER\ I\ SAID,\ \"IF\ YOU\ ARE\ SO\ \nFUCKING\ FAT\ WHY\ THE\ HELL\ DO\ YOU\ WEAR\ ALL\ THAT\ GODDAMNED\ SLUTY\ CLOTHES\ YOU\ \nFAT\ FUCKING\ BITCH?!!!\"\n%\nyo\ think\ if\ i\ got\ a\ real\ doll\ and\ had\ a\ voodoo\ priest\ do\ shit\ to\ it,\ and\ \nattached\ lindsay\ lohan's\ soul\ to\ it,\ that\ if\ fucked\ it\ she'd\ feel\ it\ and\ \nshit?\n%\nMy\ Nazi\ fetish\ makes\ my\ boyfriend\ uncomfortable.I\ NEED\ ADVICE.\ You\ appear\ to\ \nbe\ experienced\ in\ these\ matters,\ so\ I'll\ give\ this\ a\ try.My\ boyfriend\ told\ \nme\ that\ he\ finds\ my\ Irma\ Grese/\ Ilse\ Koch-style\ Third\ Reich\ dominatrix\ \ncostumes\ to\ be\ disturbing\;\ he\ seems\ reluctant\ to\ participate\ in\ Lebensborn\ \nroleplaying\ and\ even\ Auschwitz\ guard/\ male\ prisoner\ roleplaying.\ He\ also\ \nsuggested\ gently\ that\ I\ take\ down\ the\ Hitler\ Youth\ propaganda\ posters\ that\ \nare\ currently\ hanging\ over\ my\ bed.Is\ Nazism\ a\ 'turnoff'?\ If\ so,\ why?\n%\nIt\ is\ well\ known\ that\ apes\ are\ close\ relatives\ to\ human\ beings.\ What\ isn�t\ \nso\ well\ known\ is\ just\ how\ close\ relatives\ the\ two\ species\ are.\ Apes\ and\ \nhumans\ share\ much\ of\ the\ same\ DNA.\ For\ instance,\ the\ North\ African\ \nShort-Haired\ Baboon\ shares\ over\ 99%\ of\ its\ DNA\ with\ mankind.\ This\ particular\ \nspecies\ is\ highly\ adaptable\ and\ like\ chimpanzees,\ they\ are\ able\ to\ make\ \ncrude\ tools\ and\ even\ utilize\ rudimentary\ communication\ skills.\ The\ \nadaptability\ of\ the\ North\ African\ Short\ hair\ is\ evidenced\ by\ their\ lives\ in\ \ncaptivity,\ while\ most\ species\ dwindle\ on\ extinction\ and\ have\ trouble\ \nbreeding\;\ the\ Short-Hairs\ thrive,\ often\ neglecting\ their\ offspring,\ food\ \ngathering,\ and\ even\ grooming\ themselves\ in\ order\ to\ mate\ with\ females.\ First\ \nintroduced\ into\ captivity\ sometime\ in\ the\ 1700�s,\ the\ North\ African\ \nShort-Haired\ baboon\ was\ utilized\ as\ laborers\ in\ small\ farming\ communities.\ \nToday,\ they\ enjoy\ life\ in\ urban\ centers,\ often\ living\ 10\ to\ a\ den.\ Sadly,\ \ncaptivity\ and\ inbreeding\ has\ caused\ their\ learning\ ability\ to\ be\ suppressed\ \nand\ their\ baser\ instincts\ to\ be\ more\ pronounced.\ Often,\ they\ will\ rely\ on\ \nthe\ gatherings\ of\ other\ species\ to\ survive.\ Utilizing\ their\ natural\ \nnocturnal\ abilities,\ they\ stalk,\ undetected,\ through\ the\ habitats\ of\ these\ \nother\ species,\ procuring\ what\ it\ necessary\ to\ survive\ from\ them,\ often\ in\ \nthe\ form\ of\ Televisions\ and\ Hi-top\ sneakers.\n%\nMaking\ headlines\ across\ America\ is\ the\ Terri\ Shiavo\ case.\ This\ poor\ woman\ is\ \nin\ a\ persistent\ vegetative\ state\ and\ the\ husband\ selfishly\ wishes\ for\ her\ \nfeeding\ tube\ to\ be\ left\ removed.\ This\ is\ appalling,\ not\ to\ just\ me,\ but\ to\ \nthe\ many\ Americans\ that\ feel\ she\ should\ be\ allowed\ to\ live.\ \nwww.terrisfight.org\ is\ a\ prime\ example.\ The\ husband\ seems\ to\ be\ missing\ the\ \nlarger\ picture\ here,\ she\ is\ still\ biologically\ functional,\ meaning\ that\ her\ \nvaginal\ orifice\ is\ capable\ of\ self-lubrication\ even\ if\ she\ is\ unresponsive.\ \nThis\ make\ her\ the\ perfect\ mate.\ True,\ she\ cannot\ perform\ fellatio,\ she\ is\ \nmore\ than\ capable\ of\ being\ a\ semen\ receptacle\ for\ the\ husband\ that\ has\ loved\ \nher\ for\ years.\ Please\ stop\ this\ madness\ and\ contribute\ to\ her\ cause!\n%\nToday,\ they\ enjoy\ life\ in\ urban\ centers,\ often\ living\ 10\ to\ a\ den.\ Sadly,\ \ncaptivity\ and\ inbreeding\ has\ caused\ their\ learning\ ability\ to\ be\ suppressed\ \nand\ their\ baser\ instincts\ to\ be\ more\ pronounced.\ Often,\ they\ will\ rely\ on\ \nthe\ gatherings\ of\ other\ species\ to\ survive.\ Utilizing\ their\ natural\ \nnocturnal\ abilities,\ they\ stalk,\ undetected,\ through\ the\ habitats\ of\ these\ \nother\ species,\ procuring\ what\ it\ necessary\ to\ survive\ from\ them,\ often\ in\ \nthe\ form\ of\ Televisions\ and\ Hi-top\ sneakers.\n%\nMy\ partner\ and\ I\ were\ having\ intercourse\ when\ his\ penis\ came\ out\ and\ we\ \nheard\ a\ weird\ sort\ of\ pop\ noise\ and\ then\ he\ experienced\ a\ lot\ of\ pain\ and\ \nwhen\ he\ looked\ at\ his\ penis\ he\ noticed\ there\ was\ some\ blood\ coming\ out\ of\ \nthe\ tip.\ After\ about\ 5\ minutes\ there\ wasn't\ pain\ anymore,\ but\ because\ of\ hte\ \nblood\ I\ am\ afriad\ it's\ broken.\ Thoughts?\n%\nhey\ everyone\ remember\ that\ one\ time\ when\ klerck\ shot\ himself\ directly\ in\ the\ \nface\ with\ a\ shotgun\ and\ killed\ himself\ and\ we\ all\ were\ like\ \"whoa\"\ and\ he\ \nwas\ like\ \"drip\ drip\"...\ that\ shit\ was\ awesome\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ an\ internet\ forum\ because\ i\ am\ about\ to\ try\ and\ impress\ you\ \nusing\ my\ stale\ in\ jokes\ from\ 1998\n%\nI\ need\ a\ patient\ guy\ who\ will\ realize\ that\ I\ am\ just\ flustered\ when\ I\ belt\ \nout\ something\ stupid\ when\ I\ am\ nervous\ like\ \"your\ such\ a\ cute\ little\ guy\"\ on\ \na\ first\ date.\ never\ heard\ from\ him\ again,\ hha.\ whatever.\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ a\ taxidermy\ lab\ because\ you\ make\ me\ want\ to\ stuff\ a\ cock\ in\ \nyou\n%\nIntel\ isn't\ bad,\ but\ AMD's\ is\ just\ misleading.\ If\ I'm\ building\ a\ 64-bit\ AMD\ \nsystem\ and\ I\ look\ and\ say\ \"Hey,\ it's\ an\ AMD\ 64\ 4000+!\ That\ must\ mean\ it's\ \n4000MHz\ which\ is\ 4GHz\"\ Oh\ no!\ It's\ only\ 2.4GHz.\ At\ least\ Intel\ has\ the\ sense\ \nto\ put\ the\ processor\ speed\ right\ in\ the\ name\ of\ the\ chip.\ I\ know\ someone\ is\ \ngoing\ to\ chime\ in\ and\ bring\ up\ some\ obscure\ reason\ why\ the\ 2.4GHz\ is\ called\ \nthe\ \"4000+\"\ and\ declare\ it's\ there\ for\ more\ than\ a\ marketing\ ploy,\ but\ Joe\ \nConsumer\ isn't\ going\ to\ think\ that.\ An\ AMD-64\ 4000+\"\ sounds\ wayyyy\ cooler\ \nthan\ an\ \"Intel-64\ 2.8GHz\",\ right?Now,\ proceed\ to\ mod\ me\ down\ because\ I\ speak\ \nill\ of\ the\ underdog,\ right?\ Go\ on,\ I\ know\ you\ want\ to\ inject\ your\ bias\ into\ \nmoderation,\ it's\ okay.\n%\nI,\ personally,\ have\ a\ special\ connection\ to\ the\ video\ \"Basic\ Training:\ San\ \nFrancisco\ Style.\"\ It\ was\ my\ bridge\ from\ Fisting\ to\ Scat.\ There\ is\ a\ scene\ in\ \nit\ where\ a\ pretty\ young\ blonde\ boy\ (who\ I\ later\ learned\ was\ Dave,\ himself)\ \ngets\ fisted\ with\ a\ very\ full\ ass.\ Needless\ to\ say\ it\ gets\ wonderfully\ messy.\ \nI\ was\ so\ disgusted\ I\ couldn't\ stop\ watching\ it.\ I\ must\ have\ nearly\ worn\ out\ \nthat\ spot\ on\ the\ tape.\n%\nBasically\ my\ question\ to\ you\ is\ based\ on\ everything\ you've\ seen\ concerning\ \nthe\ character\ of\ Bardock\ and\ Goku,\ what\ would\ happen\ if\ Goku\ had\ an\ actual\ \nmeeting\ with\ his\ father?\ What\ words\ would\ they\ exchange?\ What\ would\ cause\ \nsuch\ a\ meeting,\ etc?\ It\ can\ be\ any\ continuity\ you\ choose.\ Now\ that\ you\ know\ \nwhat\ to\ write\ about,\ be\ creative\ and\ come\ up\ with\ what\ in\ your\ view\ would\ \nhappen\ if\ father\ and\ son\ were\ to\ meet.\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ an\ einstein-rosen\ bridge\ because\ i'd\ like\ to\ come\ inside\ \nof\ you\ and\ then\ be\ somewhere\ else\n%\nI'm\ all\ about\ girls\ who\ have\ dicks\ coming\ out\ of\ their\ nipples\ with\ dicks\ \nalso\ coming\ out\ of\ those\ dicks\ and\ shit\ coming\ out\ of\ those\ dicks\n%\nYOU\ SPICAROONIS\ HAVE\ A\ WHOLE\ DAMN\ COUNTRY\ SO\ WHAT\ THE\ FUCK\ DO\ YOU\ WANT\ WITH\ \nOURS?\ ONCE\ YOU\ FILTHY\ FUCKS\ FINISH\ YOUR\ SILENT\ INVASION\ DO\ YOU\ THINK\ THIS\ \nWILL\ STILL\ BE\ THE\ AMERICA\ IT\ ONCE\ WAS?\ FUCK\ NO.\ YOU\ FILTHY\ BEANERS\ WILL\ TURN\ \nIT\ INTO\ ONE\ BIG\ FUCKING\ BARRIO\ LIKE\ YOU\ HAVE\ DONE\ TO\ THAT\ PIECE\ OF\ SHIT\ \nMEXICO\ BECAUSE\ YOU\ BEAN\ EATERS\ ARE\ TOO\ FUCKING\ STUPID\ TO\ RUN\ A\ FUCKING\ \nCOUNTRY.YOU\ BEANERS\ TOOK\ OVER\ CALIFORNIA\ AND\ TEXAS.\ AND\ WE\ FUCKING\ GAVE\ YOU\ \nNEW\ MEXICO.\ SO\ KEEP\ YOUR\ FILTHY\ ASSES\ THERE\ AND\ JUST\ HAVE\ THAT\ SHIT\ AND\ STAY\ \nTHE\ FUCK\ OUT\ OF\ THE\ REST\ OF\ THE\ COUNTRY.\ YOU\ HAVE\ YOUR\ WHOLE\ SO\ CALLED\ \nCOUNTRY\ DOWN\ THERE\ AND\ THREE\ BIG\ FUCKING\ STATES.\ BUT\ YOU\ FUCKERS\ REPRODUCE\ \nFASTER\ THAN\ RABBITS\ AND\ HAVE\ MORE\ DAMN\ RELATIVES\ THAN\ A\ COCKROACH.\ AND\ ARE\ \nTWICE\ AS\ FILTHY.\ SO\ I\ GUESS\ YOU\ NEED\ MORE\ ROOM.\ SHIT\ YOU\ PACK\ 50\ OF\ YOU\ \nBEANERS\ INTO\ A\ 2\ BEDROOM\ APARTMENT\ SO\ YOU\ SHOULD\ BE\ ABLE\ TO\ MAKE\ DO\ WITH\ \nTHOSE\ FUCKING\ STATES.DAMN\ I\ HATE\ TACO\ MUNCHERS.\n%\nWhen\ you\ see\ porn\ and\ your\ dick\ gets\ hard,\ try\ to\ touch\ your\ dick\ head\ with\ \nyour\ lips.\ I\ have\ licked\ many\ times\ my\ cockhead\ in\ this\ way.\n%\nHey\ guys,\ if\ a\ Jedi\ perchance\ met\ the\ Wolverine\ in\ armed\ combat,\ who\ do\ you\ \nthink\ would\ win?\ Could\ Wolverine's\ mind\ resist\ the\ Force?\ Could\ the\ Jedi's\ \nlightsaber\ cut\ through\ Adamantium?\ Discuss.\n%\ni\ think\ i\ may\ have\ roids\ but\ i\ don't\ know\ what\ they\ look\ like\ and\ i\ don't\ \nhave\ anything\ protruding\ out\ of\ my\ ass.\ everytime\ i\ go\ poop\ there\ is\ a\ \nlittle\ blood\ on\ the\ toilet\ paper\ when\ i\ wipe.\ its\ not\ super\ painful\ and\ \npretty\ much\ feels\ like\ minor\ irritation.\ my\ buttcrack\ has\ been\ really\ dry\ \nand\ flaky\ too\ almost\ like\ my\ crack\ wants\ to\ get\ deeper.\ wtf?\ i've\ been\ using\ \npreperation\ h\ suppositories\ and\ the\ medicated\ pads\ for\ weeks\ now\ but\ nothing\ \nhas\ helped.\ i\ don't\ have\ money\ or\ insurance\ to\ see\ a\ doctor\ so\ if\ anyone\ has\ \nhad\ symptoms\ like\ this\ plz\ tell\ me\ what\ the\ hell\ is\ wrong\ with\ me\ and\ what\ i\ \ncan\ do\ to\ fix\ this.\ thx.\n%\nA\ romantic\ dinner\ with\ a\ large\ table\ cloth\ so\ you\ can\ go\ under\ the\ table\ in\ \nthe\ retaurant\ and\ blow\ me\ without\ the\ other\ customers\ seeing\ what\ you\ are\ \ndoing.\ Not\ that\ i\ am\ ashamed\ but\ I\ am\ just\ thinking\ of\ your\ dignity\ and\ all.\n%\nI'd\ like\ to\ get\ her\ on\ a\ bed,\ rip\ off\ her\ pants\ and\ her\ grannie\ underwear\ \nthat\ I\ just\ know\ she\ wears\ and\ then\ I'd\ like\ to\ flip\ her\ over\ and\ spread\ \nthose\ fat\ smelly\ cheeks\ apart,\ shove\ peanut\ butter\ in\ her\ bunghole,\ stick\ my\ \ntongue\ in\ there\ and\ move\ it\ around\ like\ I\ am\ having\ an\ epileptic\ fit\ eating\ \nthe\ creamy\ treat\ from\ her\ ass.\ I'd\ also\ like\ to\ choke\ her\ by\ shoving\ my\ \nschlong\ down\ her\ throat\ to\ the\ point\ where\ she\ is\ gonna\ pass\ out\ and\ then\ \npull\ out\ my\ cock\ and\ jerk\ off\ on\ her\ face\ while\ she\ is\ still\ delerious\ and\ \nthen\ squirt\ all\ over\ her\ cute\ face.\n%\nNot\ following\ the\ chat\ room\ rules\ will\ at\ the\ least\ get\ you\ a\ reprimand\ or,\ \nat\ the\ worst,\ kicked\ or\ removed\ from\ the\ chat\ room.\ The\ Operators\ are\ here\ \nto\ assist\ and\ make\ sure\ the\ chat\ room\ is\ a\ fun\ and\ friendly\ place\ to\ visit.\ \nChannel\ Operators\ are\ not\ guards,\ but\ they\ take\ their\ jobs\ seriously.\ In\ the\ \nevent\ of\ unacceptable\ or\ disruptive\ behavior,\ you\ will\ be\ asked\ to\ leave\ the\ \nroom.\n%\nit's\ time\ for\ lunch.\ you'd\ like\ to\ chow.\ Fraid\ I've\ got\ some\ bad\ news\ right\ \nnow.\ \ The\ fridge\ a\ box\ of\ empty\ space,\ no\ sign\ of\ eats,\ not\ e'en\ a\ trace,\ oh\ \nhow\ you'd\ like\ a\ tiny\ taste,\ your\ stomach\ hurts,\ you\ find\ some\ Certs,\ \nthey're\ gobbled,\ gone,\ but\ breath\ is\ fresh,\ you're\ nearing\ death,\ you're\ \nflailing\ on\ the\ kitchen\ floor,\ no\ more!\ just\ make\ the\ hunger\ leave,\ your\ \nstomach\ grieves\ a\ SNACK\ you\ NEED\ you've\ GOT\ TO\ FEED\ YOUR\ CHEETOS\ ARE\ ALL\ \nGONE\ OH\ GOD\ YOU'RE\ SORTING\ THROUGH\ THE\ TRASH:\ A\ WAD!\ USED\ PAPER\ NAPKINS\ \nQUICK,\ YOU\ LICK!\ DELISH\ but\ what\ a\ TEASE\ just\ PLEASE\ I\ need\ some\ CHIPS\ you\ \nweakly\ WHEEZE\ try\ empty\ KETCHUPs\ upside\ DOWN\ you\ LICK\ THE\ CRUMBS\ right\ off\ \nthe\ GROUND\ it's\ LUNCH\ LUNCH\ LUNCH\ and\ YOU\ MUST\ CHOW\ the\ trickling\ sweat\ \ndrops\ off\ your\ BROW\ from\ FRIDGE\ to\ SINK\ you\ madly\ DASH\ where\ did\ you\ hide\ \nthat\ CHEETO\ STASH\ O!\ during\ LAST\ WEEK's\ ENterPRISE\ you\ ATE\ THOSE\ CHEETOS\ not\ \nso\ WISE\ so\ AS\ A\ DESPERATE\ LAST\ RESORT\ you\ GNAW\ your\ left\ hand's\ ugly\ WART\ \nthe\ TASTY\ FLAKES\ of\ DEAD\ DRY\ SKIN\ have\ turned\ this\ LOSS\ into\ a\ WIN\ but\ \nSTOMACH\ LETS\ his\ anGER\ KNOWN\ it\ GRUMBLES\ IN\ AN\ ANGRY\ TONE\ a\ FAT\ GEEK\ HUNGRY\ \nALL\ ALONE--HELP\ HELP\ THE\ FOOD\ !\ THERE\ IS\ NONE\ HERE!\ EMPTY\ BOTTLES\ OF\ \nCHEAP-ASS\ BEER\ YOU\ WRITHE\ ALONG\ THE\ GROUND\ AND\ FLOP!\ RELEASE\ THOSE\ BOWELS\ \nWITH\ A\ *PLOP*\ oh\ GROSS\ YOU\ SMOOSH\ the\ TURDS\ so\ WARM\ and\ with\ a\ FBLURT\ out\ \ntrickles\ MORE\ but\ crazed\ you\ are.\ in\ NEED\ OF\ EAT\ you\ reach\ and\ get\ some\ \nBROWN\ POO-MEAT.\ YOUR\ SHIT\ ALL\ OVER\ HANDS\ AND\ FACE\ YOUR\ TONGUE\ AFLAME\ WITH\ \nPOOPY\ TASTE\ the\ DOOR\ swings\ WIDE:\ NERD\ FRIENDS,\ a\ BUNCH\ \ \"Hey,\ Asimov!\ WE\ \nBROUGHT\ YOU\ LUNCH\ :O\"\n%\nyour\ mom\ is\ so\ fat\ that\ if\ planck's\ constant\ were\ 1\ Js,\ she\ STILL\ wouldn't\ \nbe\ able\ to\ quantum\ tunnel\ through\ a\ potential\ of\ any\ significance\n%\ni\ had\ a\ great\ time\ last\ night.\ thanks\ for\ tying\ me\ up\ with\ carpenters\ rope\ \naround\ my\ mantits\ and\ through\ the\ crack\ of\ my\ asshole\ and\ then\ facefucking\ \nme\ while\ pouring\ candle\ wax\ all\ over\ my\ areolas,\ your\ spiked-toe\ boots\ \ndigging\ into\ my\ side\ while\ i\ am\ on\ all\ fours,\ back\ arched\ like\ a\ frightened\ \ncat,\ begging\ for\ mercy\ as\ the\ thick\ bands\ of\ the\ rope\ run\ back\ and\ forth\ \nteasing\ my\ grundel\ and\ burning\ my\ semen-encrusted\ pubic\ hairs,\ the\ smell\ so\ \nengulfing\ i\ vomited\ all\ over\ your\ bed\ and\ then\ you\ vomited\ all\ over\ me\ and\ \nthen\ i\ shit\ myself\ and\ the\ rope\ made\ it\ split\ into\ two\ streams\ all\ over\ your\ \nknees,\ running\ down\ to\ your\ ankles\ and\ toenails.\ i'd\ love\ to\ do\ it\ thursday\ \nnight\ again!\n%\nYou\ give\ liberals\ a\ bad\ name.\ You\ give\ women\ a\ bad\ name.\ You\ give\ fucking\ \neveryone\ who\ has\ the\ title\ \"HUMAN\ BEING\"\ a\ bad\ name.Go\ outside\ once\ in\ a\ \nwhile\ and\ stop\ stuffing\ your\ bloated\ mouth\ with\ stale\ cheetos\ and\ flat\ \nmountain\ dew.\ You\ might\ feel\ sexy\ in\ that\ thong\ but\ that\ thick\ and\ musty\ \nsmell\ wafting\ up\ your\ crotch\ proves\ that\ the\ best\ thing\ you\ could\ do\ for\ \nyour\ sex\ appeal\ is\ to\ do\ your\ laundry,\ and\ maybe\ take\ a\ damn\ bath.Tap,\ tap,\ \ntap,\ your\ keyboard\ receives\ your\ idle,\ insipid\ wanderings.\ People\ care!\ you\ \ntell\ yourself.\ Just\ look\ at\ your\ comments.\ There...are\ a\ few\ of\ them.\ \nProving\ that\ someone\ reads\ your\ drivel\ even\ when\ you\ post\ 5\ pathetic\ little\ \nvignettes\ about\ a\ tediously\ pedestrian\ life\ in\ a\ single\ day.teh_enchantress.\ \nA\ pleasingly\ clever\ mixture\ of\ an\ internet\ in-joke\ and\ fantasy\ archetype?\ Or\ \na\ slavish\ parroting\ of\ the\ same\ tired\ memes\ that\ lonely\ boys\ and\ girls\ use\ \nto\ try\ to\ find\ a\ place\ on\ an\ internet\ that\ refuses\ no\ one,\ least\ of\ all\ \npedophiles\ and\ hate\ groups?I\ know,\ I\ know.\ It's\ something\ to\ do\ when\ you\ get\ \nto\ your\ room.\ YOu\ know,\ after\ a\ long\ trip\ to\ the\ bathroom,\ or\ having\ lunch\ \nwith\ your\ mom,\ or\ going\ out\ with\ your\ other\ fat\ friends.\ You\ can\ come\ back\ \nto\ your\ computer\ and\ rant\ about\ how\ outrageous\ your\ recent\ bland\ adventures\ \nwere.Well,\ do\ yourself\ and\ the\ world\ a\ favor.\ Shut\ the\ fuck\ up\ forever,\ you\ \nwanna-be\ slut.\ Your\ opinions\ aren't\ worth\ listening\ to,\ your\ life\ isn't\ \ninteresting,\ you\ aren't\ attractive.\ Live\ some\ of\ life\ and\ meet\ some\ human\ \nbeings.\ You're\ a\ social\ bulemic\ and\ you've\ been\ binging\ on\ the\ paper\ thin\ \npersonas\ of\ your\ internet\ friends,\ most\ of\ whom\ are\ probably\ overweight\ \nengineers\ working\ at\ IBM\ in\ sexually\ frustrating\ marraiges.You\ think\ you'll\ \nlook\ back\ on\ this\ time\ of\ your\ life\ and\ laugh?\ I\ dare\ say\ you'll\ look\ back\ \nand\ your\ lips\ will\ become\ a\ thin\ bloodless\ line\ as\ you\ realize\ what\ a\ \nfucking\ waste\ it\ was.\ The\ relationships\ you\ could\ have\ had.\ The\ friends\ you\ \nthought\ you\ made.And\ please\ avoid\ any\ real\ issues.\ Your\ understanding\ of\ any\ \npolitical\ or\ social\ problems\ in\ the\ world\ is\ about\ as\ thick\ as\ your\ hymen\ \nafter\ you\ popped\ your\ cherry\ with\ a\ hello\ kitty\ dildo\ you\ bought\ while\ \ntittering\ on\ instant\ messenger\ with\ your\ friends.\ Wau~~~\ so\ cute.\ You\ \nfucking\ shallow\ little\ wretch.In\ short,\ you\ are\ a\ female\ piece\ of\ refuse.\ \nThe\ cigarette\ butt\ that\ your\ parents\ smoked\ for\ the\ love\ they\ thought\ you\ \ncould\ give\ them,\ and\ then\ had\ stamped\ out\ as\ soon\ as\ they\ realized\ what\ a\ \npiece\ of\ shit\ had\ erupted\ from\ your\ mother's\ vagina,\ which\ happens\ to\ be\ \nrather\ overly-familiar\ in\ your\ neighborhood.\ Just\ shut\ the\ fuck\ up.\ Get\ out\ \nof\ that\ goddamn\ chair\ in\ which\ you've\ spent\ so\ many\ needless\ hours.I\ \nguarantee\ that\ unless\ you\ do\ something\ drastic,\ you\ should\ acknowledge\ that\ \nthis\ is\ truly\ as\ good\ as\ it\ will\ ever\ get.\ Because\ from\ this\ point\ on\ you'll\ \nbegin\ to\ realize\ the\ gossamer\ nature\ of\ any\ joy\ you\ might\ have\ thought\ you\ \nwere\ feeling--and\ that\ infintely\ deep\ well\ of\ loneliness\ will\ erupt\ so\ \nsharply\ it'll\ cut\ your\ wrists.No,\ you're\ not\ complex.\ You're\ not\ deep\ and\ \nyou're\ not\ thoughtful.\ The\ pain\ torturing\ you\ isn't\ inscrutable\ and\ your\ \nproblems\ are\ not\ unresolvable.\ You're\ just\ stupider\ than\ you\ think,\ and\ that\ \nwill\ always\ frustrate\ you.\ You\ know\ you're\ not\ attractive,\ but\ your\ tenuous\ \ngrip\ on\ self-worth\ demands\ a\ lie.\ And\ your\ decrepit\ social\ life\ has\ the\ \nprospects\ of\ a\ bumblebee\ in\ a\ Scandinavian\ September.Good\ luck\ doing\ the\ \nunlikely.\ Some\ steps\ to\ help\ you\ on\ the\ way:\ plan\ your\ diet,\ start\ working\ \nout,\ find\ a\ hobby,\ and\ read\ the\ newspaper.\ That\ is\ all.\n%\nNow\ go\ back\ to\ what\ you\ do\ best,\ which\ is\ apparently\ poking\ your\ nose\ into\ \nothers\ business\ because\ you're\ too\ bored\ with\ your\ own\ life.\ *pets\ joo*\n%\nWe're\ the\ math\ nerds.\ Uh\ huh,\ that's\ us.\ Our\ glasses\ are\ thick\;\ our\ skin\ \nbleeding\ pus.\ Chalkboards\ are\ out\ and\ computers\ are\ in...\ Mathmatica,\ dude!\ \nWTF\ have\ you\ been?\ We're\ crunching\ some\ primes\ while\ chatting\ on\ forums\;\ \nStar\ Trek\ and\ Star\ wars\;\ the\ Great\ Pauly\ Shore--Um,\ this\ math\ problem's\ \nsimple\ to\ solve,\ can't\ you\ see?\ You\ need\ to\ brush\ up\ on\ your\ pi,\ roots,\ and\ \ne.\n%\nThe\ nigger\ is\ a\ subhuman\ monkey,\ ape,\ Fat\ lips,\ kinky\ hair,\ VIOLENT,\ RAPIST,\ \nSMALL\ BRAIN\ (have\ you\ noticed\ how\ dumm\ most\ niggers\ are)and\ broad\ monstrous\ \nnoses,\ car\ jacking\ saucer-lipped,\ ignorant\ fecal\ colored,\ ghetto-living,\ \nwelfare-leeching,\ crack-smoking,\ hub-cap\ stealing.\ fried-chicken\ and\ biscuit\ \neating,\ watermelon-stealing,\ 6-yr-old-white-girl-shooting,\ serial-killing,\ \nrapist,\ robber,\ murderer,\ adulterer,\ liar,\ fat-assed,\ white-woman-wanting,\ \nloud-radio-at-2:00-a.m.-in-the-morning-playing,\ undisciplined,\ \ntree-swinging,\ flat-congo-nosed,\ greasy\ afro-sheen,\ baggy-pants,\ and\ \nside-ways\ cap-wearing,\ maya\ angelou-reading,\ Jesse\ Jackson-worshiping,\ Al\ \nSharpton,\ Louis\ Farrakhan\ and\ Malcum\ X-believing,\ disco\ doo-wop\ playing,\ \nnon-athletic,\ non-musical,\ shoplifting,\ non-political,\ trashy,\ nasty,\ \nfilthy,\ junk-around-the-house\ and\ litter-in-the-yard-keeping,\ incestuous,\ \nhoe-beating,\ unfaithful,\ dice-shooting,\ numbers-playing,\ lottery-wishing,\ \nroach-and-rat\ raising,\ lice-keeping,\ crab-farming,\ graffiti-tagging,\ \ngang-banging,\ drive-by\ shooting,\ corner-hanging,\ unemployed,\ VCR,\ \ntelevision,\ and\ radio-pawning,\ cardboard-box-under\ the-bridge-living,\ \npork-rib\ three\ times-a-day-eating,\ buck-toothed,\ knock-kneed,\ semi-bald,\ \nilliterate,\ cross-eyed,\ get-it-up-so-you-can-masturbate-to-gay-porn,\ \nviagra-taking,\ connection-frequenting,\ jungle-visiting,\ cock-kissing\ \nAfroInfectedDickSucking,\ spawn\ of\ a\ fat,\ greasy,\ nasty,\ sweaty,\ unwashed\ \nslutty\ bitch\ whore\ that\ should\ never\ be\ trusted\ or\ allowed\ to\ free\ range\ in\ \nHuman\ areas.\n%\nWould\ you\ leave\ an\ otherwise\ perfect\ relationship\ if\ you\ found\ out\ your\ \npartner\ was\ interested\ in\ children\ sexually?\n%\nThere\ was\ this\ one\ time\ when\ I\ was\ so\ constipated\ from\ lack\ of\ proper\ diet\ \nand\ opiate\ abuse\ that\ I\ strained\ so\ hard\ I\ passed\ out\ and\ hit\ my\ head\ on\ the\ \nbathtub.\ I\ guess\ my\ bowels\ released\ when\ I\ was\ unconscious\ because\ I\ was\ \nawakened\ by\ my\ dog\ licking\ a\ mixture\ of\ blood\ and\ feces\ from\ my\ swollen\ and\ \nprolapsed\ rectum.\ To\ this\ day\ the\ muscles\ are\ so\ atrophied\ that\ I\ must\ wear\ \na\ special\ harness\ to\ keep\ my\ bowels\ from\ spilling\ into\ my\ rubber\ underwear.\n%\nWELCUM\ TO\ MY\ CHANNEL\ ON\ MIRC.\ READ\ DA\ RULES.TXT\ OR\ FACE\ A\ CONSEUQENCE!!\ \nRATIO\ FTPz\ ONLY\ 0DAY\ 0HOUR\ 0LAMENIZ.\ DOWNLOADIN\ FILES\ OF\ DA\ INTANET.\ SUME1\ \nSEND\ ME\ A\ KEEJEN\ FOR\ DIS\ PROGGIEZ.\ \ ANYONE\ WANT\ TO\ SHAR\ PUBZ??????????\ my\ \nbrother\ raped\ me\ when\ i\ was\ 6\n%\nDoes\ anyone\ else\ find\ it\ ironic\ that,\ as\ your\ virtual\ character\ gains\ \nexperience,\ wealth\ and\ social\ stature,\ your\ reality\ character\ is\ losing\ the\ \nexact\ same\ things\ at\ the\ same\ rate?\n%\nThe\ night\ begins,\ so\ sets\ the\ sun,\ but\ chatting\ now\ has\ just\ begun.\ T'will\ \nyet\ be\ hours\ ere\ I\ am\ done,\ for\ I'm\ the\ chat\ world's\ favorite\ son.\ Although\ \nby\ day\ I\ am\ made\ fun\ (they\ say\ that\ I\ weigh\ nigh\ a\ ton,\ they\ say\ ten\ feet\ I\ \ncannot\ run),\ sour\ regrets\;\ I\ have\ yet\ none.\ They\ may\ laugh\ and\ they\ may\ \nshun,\ but\ words\ cannot\ match\ my\ shotgun\;\ as\ fast\ and\ far\ as\ they\ may\ run,\ \nI'll\ pick\ them\ all\ off\ one\ by\ one.\n%\nFuck\ my\ ass\ 'till\ my\ ass\ is\ filled.\ Thrust\ that\ cock\ up\ to\ the\ hilt.\ Ours\ is\ \nthe\ house\ that\ Shepard\ built\;\ all\ cocks\ hard\ and\ none\ shall\ wilt!\ Splatter\ \nyour\ jizz\ all\ over\ my\ face.\ Rub\ it\ on\ in\ like\ grade\ school\ paste.\ To\ my\ ass\ \nyour\ cock\ has\ laid\ waste\;\ Mom\ still\ thinks\ that\ I\ am\ chaste\ \;)\n%\nBlog\ People\ (or\ their\ subclass\ who\ are\ interested\ in\ computers\ and\ the\ \nglorification\ of\ information)\ have\ a\ fanatical\ belief\ in\ the\ transforming\ \npower\ of\ digitization\ and\ a\ consequent\ horror\ of,\ and\ contempt\ for,\ heretics\ \nwho\ do\ not\ share\ that\ belief.\ Given\ the\ quality\ of\ the\ writing\ in\ the\ blogs\ \nI\ have\ seen,\ I\ doubt\ that\ many\ of\ the\ Blog\ People\ are\ in\ the\ habit\ of\ \nsustained\ reading\ of\ complex\ texts.\ It\ is\ entirely\ possible\ that\ their\ \nintellectual\ needs\ are\ met\ by\ an\ accumulation\ of\ random\ facts\ and\ paragraphs.\n%\nthey\ call\ me\ the\ King,\ of\ downloading\ THings,\ got\ bandwidth\ like\ no\ one\ on\ \nEarth.\ \ My\ modems\ are\ hot,\ but\ the\ warez\ I\ got,\ adds\ to\ my\ collecting-stuff\ \nmirth.\ \ I\ can't\ burn\ enough,\ CD's\ that\ are\ stuffed,\ with\ rars,\ zips,\ and\ \ntars\ of\ all\ kinds,\ but\ I\ must\ be\ strong,\ download\ all\ night\ long,\ ignore\ \ntelltale\ OCD\ signs.\n%\nGuys,\ what\ I\ don't\ get\ about\ plane\ crashes\ and\ falling\ elevator\ deaths\ is:\ \nwhy\ don't\ the\ victims\ just\ time\ it\ so\ that\ they\ jump\ straight\ up\ in\ the\ air\ \nright\ before\ the\ plane\ hits\ the\ ground?\ The\ jump\ would\ be\ a\ little\ high,\ \nyes,\ and\ you\ might\ break\ your\ ankle\ or\ even\ your\ leg,\ but\ isn't\ that\ better\ \nthan\ getting\ smashed\ to\ smithereens?\n%\nMe\ and\ my\ buddy\ were\ in\ downtown\ chicago\ and\ were\ walking\ to\ where\ he\ dad\ \nworks\ and\ we\ came\ across\ this\ bum\ in\ the\ walkway.\ All\ fucking\ sprawled\ out\ \nacross\ the\ sidewalk\ like\ it\ was\ his.\ My\ buddy\ pushed\ him\ with\ his\ foot\ and\ a\ \ncouple\ 40\ oz'ers\ rolled\ out\ from\ underneath\ him.\ Fucking\ lazy\ ass\ bum\ so\ I\ \nkicked\ him\ in\ the\ gut\ as\ hard\ as\ I\ could\ and\ he\ started\ puking\ up\ beer,\ \ncorn,\ and\ something\ that\ looked\ like\ it\ came\ outta\ some\ gay\ dudes\ ass.\ Some\ \nsecurity\ guard\ saw\ us\ and\ tried\ to\ chase\ us\ down\ but\ we\ were\ gone.\ Then\ I\ \nwent\ to\ see\ my\ dad\ and\ go\ to\ GOLDS\ GYM\ to\ bench\ press!!!!!\n%\nI\ like\ to\ show\ off\ that\ I\ freeball.\ I\ love\ to\ have\ my\ pants\ just\ so\ so\ I\ \nshow\ major\ butt\ crack\ also\ when\ I\ am\ at\ a\ urinal\ at\ a\ rest\ stop\ or\ sport\ \nevent\ I\ unzip\ and\ unbutton\ my\ shorts\ so\ that\ when\ I\ am\ pissing\ the\ shorts\ \ndrop\ down\ and\ everyone\ can\ see\ my\ bare\ ass!\ I\ love\ the\ feeling\ of\ guys\ \nknowing\ i\ freeball.\ what\ do\ you\ guys\ do\ to\ show\ off?\n%\ngirl\ u\ must\ be\ grouphug.us\ because\ i\ would\ make\ up\ any\ ridiculous\ story\ just\ \n2\ be\ on\ u\n%\nSeriously,\ I\ have\ the\ greatest\ respect\ for\ blacks.\ One\ of\ my\ best\ friends\ is\ \nAfrican-American.\ These\ people\ put\ up\ with\ so\ much\ hardship,\ just\ like\ \nsufferers\ of\ Down's\ syndrome\ and\ mongoloidism.\ \ I'm\ just\ so\ proud\ they've\ \nearned\ their\ place\ in\ American\ society.\n%\nwhy\ would\ I\ want\ to\ participate\ in\ your\ lousy\ conversation,\ you\ demagogue\ \nclown.\ i\ find\ no\ interest\ in\ you.\ you\ used\ to\ be\ a\ good\ friend\ of\ mine,\ and\ \nbut\ you\ turned\ your\ back\ on\ me.\ you\ stabbed\ me\ right\ in\ the\ heart.\ the\ court\ \nhas\ found\ you\ guilty.\ you\ have\ been\ sentenced\ to\ death.\n%\noh\ yeah\ you're\ such\ a\ dirty\ girl\ arent\ you\ year\ girl\ why\ dont\ you\ jack\ off\ \ndaddy\ yeah\ take\ daddy's\ hard\ cock\ in\ your\ tiny\ little\ doll\ hands\ oh\ yeah\ \nthat\ feels\ so\ good\ now\ jerk\ daddy's\ cock\ off\ back\ and\ forth\ you\ little\ whore\ \noh\ yeah\n%\nur\ a\ very\ ugly\ jew\ thats\ thinks\ ur\ all\ that\ ..\ hope\ ur\ reading\ this\ cause\ u\ \nlook\ like\ a\ fukin\ whore\ with\ that\ nazty\ ass\ makeup...\ U\ fukin\ peice\ of\ shit\ \ni\ hope\ ur\ dad\ rapes\ u\ till\ u\ cant\ move\ a\ muscle\ ...\ wat\ are\ u\ 14\ and\ ur\ dads\ \nlike\ 60...\ ur\ parents\ sure\ like\ to\ get\ it\ on\ ...Blink\ Blink...I\ hope\ u\ and\ \nur\ jappy\ ass\ girl\ friends\ and\ boy\ friends\ die\ in\ hell\ where\ they\ will\ meet\ \nhitler\ and\ have\ some\ fun\ with\ him\ in\ bed\ ..\ if\ u\ kn\ ow\ what\ i\ mean\n%\nPudge\ Picnic\ :\ \ chubs\ on\ chubs\ with\ flab\ to\ spare.\ \ \"No\ condoms!\"\ yelled,\ \nbut\ we\ don't\ care!\ \ Dude's\ be\ fucken,\ dudes\ be\ fucked,\ dudes\ be\ shittin,\ \ndudes\ be\ sucked.\ \ Writhing\ on\ the\ concrete\ floor,\ these\ chubs\ are\ sluts.\ \nThey're\ obese\ whores!\ \ And\ gross!\ They've\ never\ taken\ baths.\ \ Too\ much\ \nchili!\ \ Awful\ gas!!!\n%\nPENIS\ in\ BUTT.\ \ SPERM\ mixed\ FECES.\ \ FASTEN\ your\ SILVER\ COCK\ to\ my\ GOLDEN\ \nHOLE.\ \ My\ STOOL\ is\ the\ SATIN\ SHEET\ for\ your\ VISITING\ HARD-ON.\ \ \ Ejaculate\ \nRAPIDLY\ and\ REPEATEDLY\ on\ my\ BACK\ and\ ANKLES.\ \ DELICIOUS.\n%\na\ little\ squirt\ of\ doody\ came\ out\ when\ I\ was\ picking\ up\ that\ heavy\ jug\ of\ \nmilk,\ when\ i\ took\ of\ my\ spideyman\ underoos\ to\ check\ it\ out\ there\ were\ little\ \nsquiggly\ things\ in\ it..\ they\ were\ moving\ :\ (\n%\nHoly\ lord\ you\ are\ being\ duped.\ Napster\ is\ really\ run\ by\ the\ MPAA\ and\ when\ \nyou\ download\ the\ music\ it\ tracks\ you\ on\ a\ FEDERAL\ GOVERNMENT\ server\ and\ it\ \nbegins\ to\ hack\ ur\ toonz.\ Then\ the\ service\ goes\ under\ and\ the\ files\ self\ \ndestruct\ leaving\ your\ HDD\ as\ a\ pile\ of\ googabits.\ \ Cant\ you\ FOOLS\ see\ that\ \nthis\ is\ just\ a\ plan\ to\ get\ you\ to\ JERK\ your\ DUMB\ NUTS\ while\ wearing\ ASSLESS\ \nCHAPS\ so\ that\ the\ MPAA\ hax\ ur\ data\ and\ enters\ ur\ base\ to\ kill\ ur\ doodz.\ If\ I\ \nsee\ anyone\ using\ CRAPster\ or\ iCOONS\ i'll\ be\ sure\ to\ beat\ their\ head\ in\ using\ \nmy\ engorged\ dong\ for\ their\ own\ safety\ ohh\ yeah.\n%\nI\ cut\ myself\ because\ I\ find\ it\ an\ artform,\ just\ like\ tattoo's,\ but\ I\ LIKE\ \ncutting\ a\ beautiful\ drawing\ into\ myself,\ as\ I\ did\ it\ and\ I\ drew\ it.\ But\ I\ \ndid\ cut\ along\ time\ ago\ so,\ that\ might\ be\ it.\ Anyway,\ I\ only\ cut\ when\ it\ \nfades\ and\ needs\ touching\ up,\ but\ it\ sure\ feels\ good!\n%\nSometimes\ I\ cut\ my\ penis\ when\ I\ get\ depressed...Unfortunatly,\ I\ managed\ to\ \nhalf-circumsize\ myself\ last\ night,\ after\ I\ got\ incredibly\ depressed\ about\ my\ \ngirlfriend\ leaving\ me.\ I\ was\ devastated.\n%\nIn\ all\ the\ outcry\ against\ them,\ too\ many\ people\ are\ forgetting\ the\ \ncontributions\ pedophile\ catholic\ clergymen\ have\ made\ to\ our\ society.\ Did\ you\ \nknow\ that\ the\ term\ \"Joshing\"\ someone,\ meaning\ to\ kid\ actually\ comes\ from\ \nJoshua\ Fairbanks,\ an\ altar\ boy\ famous\ for\ believing\ Father\ Jacob\ Cooper's\ \nlaughable\ claim\ that\ he\ could\ perform\ the\ miracle\ of\ transubstantiation\ if\ \nJoshua\ allowed\ him\ to\ ejaculate\ in\ the\ boy's\ mouth.\ \ ohh\ yeah\n%\nShut\ the\ fuck\ up,\ you\ fucking\ hippy.\ No\ one\ cares\ about\ the\ fact\ that\ you\ \ndon't\ own\ a\ TV\ or\ think\ TV\ is\ only\ for\ idiots,\ or\ whatever\ other\ attitude\ \nyour\ elitist\ comment\ is\ about.\ Take\ it\ to\ the\ coffee\ shop,\ asshole.\n%\nDr.\ Huxtable\ broke\ into\ the\ clinic\ and\ held\ me\ at\ gunpoint.\ I\ was\ his\ \npatient,\ in\ for\ my\ yearly\ pap\ smear.\ I\ couldn't\ believe\ it\ when\ he\ came\ in\ \nthe\ door\ for\ the\ exam\ with\ a\ machete\ in\ his\ hands.\ He\ demanded\ that\ I\ take\ \noff\ my\ clothes,\ and\ begin\ to\ fellate\ him.\ He\ waved\ the\ machete\ around\ like\ a\ \nmadman,\ so\ i\ complied.\ I\ was\ forced,\ at\ knife\ point,\ to\ take\ his\ entire\ \npenis\ into\ my\ mouth.\ Then\ I\ rubbed\ my\ clit\ and\ got\ off\ ohh\ yeah\n%\nDude's\ fucking\ dudes.\ Everybody\ on\ the\ floor.\ No\ condoms\ No\ condoms!\n%\nyo\ what\ drugs\ u\ into?\ im\ all\ about\ the\ opiumnitrous\ /\ dxm\ /\ ketamine\ /\ acid\ \n/\ weed\ /\ hydrocodone\ /\ ultram\ /\ oxy\ /\ demerol\ /\ morphine\ /\ codeine\ /\ \ndihydrocodeine\ /\ heroin\ /\ mdma\ /\ salvia\ /\ 5-meo-dipt\ /\ 5-meo-amt\ /\ amt\ /\ \nrohypnol\ /\ ghb\ /\ mda\ /\ hash\ /\ kavakava\ /\ adderall\ /\ dexedrine\ /\ ritalin\ /\ \nephedrine\ /\ caffeine\ /\ alcohol\ /\ cocaine\ /\ shrooms\ /\ tobacco\ /\ xanax\ /\ \nklonopin\ /\ valium\ /\ ambien\ /\ soma\ /\ flexeril\ /\ zanaflex\ /\ zoloft\ /\ paxil\ /\ \nether\ /\ spraypaint\ /\ phenobarbital\ /\ ativan\ /\ air\ duster\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ alan\ greenspan\ because\ you\ have\ just\ raised\ my\ interest\ \nrate\ by\ several\ percentage\ points\n%\nwiggle\ thatass.pop\ a\ tab\ and\ smoke\ a\ fatty.\ happy\ everyday\ until\ we\ crash\ at\ \nyour\ dads.\ boom\ tisk\ in\ our\ ears\ and\ amphetamines\ in\ our\ blood.giving\ \nblowjobs\ in\ the\ stalls\ to\ pay\ for\ \$10\ water.this\ moment\ will\ last\ \nforever.mom\ and\ dad\ broke\ up\ because\ of\ me\n%\nAgain\ and\ again\ and\ again,\ I\ grow\ weary\ of\ junior\ high\ school\ English\ \nteachers\ trying\ to\ correct\ people's\ speech\ only\ because\ they\ encounter\ \nlanguage\ forms\ they\ aren't\ familiar\ with.\ For\ the\ love\ of\ Mary,\ face\ it!\ \nYour\ English\ is\ only\ good\ enough\ to\ teach\ the\ average\ Mexican\ or\ Cambodian\ \nrefugee\ to\ put\ together\ three-syllable\ words\ into\ coherent\ sentences\ used\ to\ \nbeg\ for\ money,\ alcohol,\ drugs\ or\ shelter.\ Stop\ pretending\ you\ know\ English\ \nbetter\ than\ God\ and\ everyone\ else.\ Comprehend\ that\ the\ mere\ fact\ you\ were\ \nteaching\ English\ in\ the\ first\ place\ means\ that\ you\ weren't\ smart\ enough\ to\ \ndo\ anything\ more\ productive\ and\ therefor\ your\ language\ skills\ are\ firmly\ \nconfined\ to\ the\ mediocre.\ STFU.\n%\nThese\ goddamn\ trolls\ interrupting\ my\ flow.\ These\ niggas\ don't\ respek\ us\ with\ \na\ +o.\ \ They\ gotta\ color\ spam\ and\ fake\ invite,\ bombing\ with\ asciis\ in\ yellow\ \non\ white.\ \ \ Shit\ yeah.\ it's\ bright,\ you\ 12\ year\ old\ kiddie.\ \ You\ ain't\ got\ \npubes\ and\ you\ ain't\ seen\ titty.\ \ I'll\ jupe\ your\ chans\ and\ ban\ your\ ass.\ \ \nDon't\ message\ me\ with\ plz\ unban,\ your\ chance\ has\ passed!\ \ Other\ opers\ \ncrappin\ up\ our\ relay\ net.\ \ Why\ haven't\ you\ delinked\ your\ 386\ yet?\ ircd\ needs\ \nxeons\ and\ dual\ cpus.\ \ When\ it\ comes\ to\ irc\ hardware,\ you\ can't\ be\ a\ jew.\ \ \nShit,\ nobody\ knows\ the\ trouble\ I've\ seen.\ \ On\ invites\ for\ websites\ with\ \nnaked\ teens.\ \ \ Begs\ for\ ops\ and\ packet\ attacks.\ \ Shit\ from\ users\ who\ use\ vi,\ \nnot\ emacs.\ \ Another\ long\ day\ of\ patrolling\ the\ IRC.\ \ Eating\ my\ doritos,\ and\ \nhaving\ a\ jerk,\ I\ chat\ with\ TheWalrus\ and\ #nanog\ faggots.\ \ \ All\ this\ niggas\ \ndo\ is\ complain\ \"the\ lag\ it's--\ \ bad,\ chat\ is\ slow,\ and\ we're\ getting\ \nharassed.\"\ \ Shit,\ trolls,\ this\ k-line\ is\ your\ last.\ \ Once\ more\ and\ it's\ \"G\"\ \nand\ you're\ gone\ for\ good.\ \ \ Banned\ from\ the\ internet\ chatting\ neighbourhood.\ \n\ It's\ lonely\ at\ the\ top.\ Just\ me\ and\ CHANFIX.\ \ Day\ in\ and\ day\ out.\ Banning\ \ntrolls\ with\ my\ linux.\ \ \ We\ give\ safe\ harbor\ to\ chatters\ world\ wide.\ \ From\ \npedophiles\ to\ hacker\ thieves.\ \ Yeah,\ I\ won't\ lie:\ \ IRC\ is\ a\ cesspool\ of\ \ne-misfits.\ \ EazyCheezes\ and\ bagel-cutters\ like\ that\ nigga\ BitS.\ \ But\ at\ \nleast\ we're\ the\ best.\ \ Disagree\ and\ you're\ gone.\ \ BRB,\ mom\ just\ told\ me\ \ngotta\ mow\ the\ lawn.\n%\nbut\ dont\ 4get\ 2\ take\ ur\ pills\ ok\ GUY'S\ dumb\ bastards.....LMFAO..and\ yes\ i\ \ncan\ spell\ un\ like\ u\ DUMB-EEESSSS\ .and\ i\ like\ caps\ 2\n%\nI\ enjoy\ black\ butts,\ butts\ in\ my\ face,\ butts\ which\ haven't\ been\ wiped,\ black\ \ndongs\ in\ my\ rectum,\ big\ sweaty\ black\ balls\ in\ my\ mouth,\ thick\ black\ dongs\ \nslapped\ across\ my\ face.\ I\ enjoy\ pressing\ my\ face\ into\ asses\ and\ sniffing\ \nthem.\ I\ can\ take\ 2\ cocks\ in\ my\ asshole\ and\ 3\ in\ my\ mouth.\ I\ lick\ cocks\ and\ \nbutts.\ I\ shake\ my\ ass\ in\ front\ of\ people's\ face\ before\ they\ fuck\ it\ hard.\ I\ \nwear\ a\ cock\ ring\ and\ enjoy\ letting\ people\ chain\ me\ up\ and\ piss\ on\ me.\n%\ni'm\ going\ to\ jump\ through\ my\ screen\ and\ through\ the\ internet\ and\ into\ your\ \nface\n%\nim\ gonna\ lift\ you\ with\ a\ forklift\ so\ high\ you'll\ beg\ to\ come\ down\n%\nHey\ website\ administrator,\ suck\ my\ motherfuckin'\ dick,\ you\ shit-lickin'\ \nasswipe.\ You\ probably\ fuck\ your\ mother\ up\ the\ asshole,\ don't\ you?\ What\ a\ \nlittle,\ wet,\ wimpering\ vagina\ you\ are!\ P.S.\ Herbert\ Mantooth,\ you\ are\ the\ \nlove\ of\ my\ life\ and\ I\ want\ to\ ram\ my\ shit-covered\ cock\ up\ your\ juicy\ \nrump-hole\ and\ then\ suck\ your\ balls\ raw,\ you\ big-city\ bad-boy\ bitchass\ \nbuttfuck!!!\ Then\ I\ want\ to\ piss\ in\ your\ ass...\n%\nI'm\ so\ sick\ of\ all\ this\ \"digital\"\ vs\ analog\ crap.\ Guys,\ if\ you\ ANAL-logue\ \npeople\ want\ \"Warmth\"\ just\ mix\ white\ noise\ into\ the\ sound\ file,\ or\ use\ shitty\ \ncables.\ That's\ what\ you're\ paying\ \$5000\ a\ preamp\ for,\ suckers!\n%\ni\ heard\ some\ wolves\ dig\ up\ natural\ cannabis\ plants\ and\ get\ thc\ in\ their\ \npaws,\ but\ i\ never\ thought\ it\ was\ true\ until\ a\ wolf\ was\ hit\ by\ a\ car\ in\ front\ \nof\ my\ house!\ i\ smoked\ the\ paws\ and\ was\ six\ different\ kinds\ of\ fucked\ up\n%\nDumb\ Dongs,\ Dumb\ Dongs,\ Why\ Have\ You\ Left\ Me.\ \ How\ I\ miss\ those\ long\ nights,\ \nwhen\ you\ raped\ me\ so\ deftly!\ \ As\ the\ rain\ pitter\ pattered\ the\ shanty's\ metal\ \nroof,\ and\ my\ back\ felt\ the\ sting\ of\ your\ biting\ tooth.\ a\ single\ tear\ down\ my\ \ncheek,\ the\ pleasure\ of\ pain.\ Dumb\ dongs,\ won't\ you\ come\ back\ again?\ \ Again,\ \nI\ pray...please,\ to\ me!\ \ Dumb\ dongs\ is\ what\ I\ want\ to\ see!\ \ And\ if\ you'll\ \nnever\ come\ back\ to\ nest,\ \ I\ can't\ be\ blamed\ for\ what\ comes\ next.\ \ Now\ I\ \nfuriously\ scrape\ my\ Mach3,\ on\ my\ wrists\ for\ from\ life\ I\ flee.\ \ My\ skin\ \ngetting\ all\ irritated,\ but\ I\ fear\ my\ dumb-dongless\ death\ is\ fated.\ \ Dumb\ \nDongs,\ we\ had\ good\ times,\ and\ we\ had\ bad.\ \ From\ that\ first\ fondle\ when\ I\ was\ \na\ lad...to\ teenage\ cockparties\ where\ semen\ was\ drunk.\ \ But\ I'm\ left\ with\ no\ \nDongs\ and\ I'm\ utterly\ sunked.\ \ Dumb\ Dongs,\ au\ revoir,\ my\ lovely\ stiff\ pal.\ \ \nFuck\ this\ suicide\ shit.\ I'll\ jus\ t\ fuck\ gals.\n%\nDING\ DONG\ WONG\ GOT\ A\ RAP\ FOR\ MY\ CLOWNZ\ \ IM\ FAT\ AND\ UGLY\;\ DEY\ PULL\ MY\ PANTS\ \nDOWNZ\ \ AT\ SCHOOL,\ AND\ ITS\ CRUEL\ AND\ DEY\ TINKS\ DEY\ IS\ COOL\ \ BUT\ NIGGAZ\ GONNA\ \nGET\ WHOOPED\ LIKE\ A\ NON-CLOWNY\ FOOL\ \ WHAT\ WHAT\ DONT\ MESS\ WITH\ JUGGALO\ DUDES\ \ \nOR\ ELSE\ WE\ WILL\ SIT\ ON\ YOU\ AND\ YOULL\ BE\ DOG\ FOODZ\ \ IT'S\ NOT\ THAT\ IM\ FAT--MOM\ \nSAYS\ MY\ BONES'\ BIG\ \ SHUT\ DA\ FOOQ\ UP\ BEFORE\ I\ SPLITZ\ YA\ WIG\ FOOdongs\n%\nNow,\ what\ do\ you\ kids\ expect\ from\ an\ operating\ system\ coded\ by\ a\ man\ named\ \nLinus.\ You\ expect\ complete\ compatibility?\ He\ always\ has\ to\ carry\ a\ blanket\ \nwith\ him\ wherever\ he\ goes,\ and\ asks\ Charlie\ Brown\ (hes\ a\ clown!)\ for\ help.\ \nHe's\ supposed\ to\ be\ the\ saviour\ of\ the\ computing\ world?\ I'll\ put\ my\ money\ \nand\ my\ computer\ in\ good\ hands\ with\ Bill\ Gates\ and\ Microsoft.\ Because\ even\ in\ \nthis\ review,\ you\ have\ to\ make\ reference\ to\ Windows\ XP,\ proving\ your\ \ninferiority\ complex.\ Good\ day.\n%\nThe\ Fart\ Fantasy:\ Expel\ your\ gas,\ I\ deeply\ inhale.\ \ The\ fresh\ fart\ from\ an\ \nathletic\ male.\ \ Ohhh\ yes\ it's\ good,\ sweet\ and\ pungent.\ An\ aromatic\ fecal\ \nluncheon!\ with\ delicate\ bouquet\ and\ wispy\ taste,\ this\ fart's\ among\ the\ best\ \nI've\ faced.\ \ Your\ nose\ wrinkled\ in\ abject\ disgust?\ \ Oh\ no,\ it's\ good.\ \ Try\ \nit--you\ must!\ Farts\ are\ nature's\ true\ delight.\ If\ you\ want\ some,\ theres\ no\ \nneed\ to\ fight!\ Form\ a\ line\ right\ at\ my\ ass.\ Just\ wait\ for\ me\ to\ pass\ that\ \ngas.\ Your\ taste\ buds\ exploding,\ flavor\ extreme.\ I\ dont\ know\ about\ you,\ but\ \nit\ makes\ me\ cream.\ My\ pants\ that\ is,\ spurting\ now.\ Theres\ only\ one\ proper\ \nresponse\ -\ WOW.\n%\nOMG\ U\ WILL\ NOT\ GET\ THE\ TRANSIENT\ DAMPENING\ U\ NEED\ U\ MIGHT\ AS\ WELL\ UZE\ UR\ \nRADIO\ SHAK\ EARFONES\ 2\ MIC\ UR\ DRUM\ KIT\ WHICH\ IS\ MADE\ FROM\ 5\ GALLON\ BUCKETS\ \nWHILE\ PLAYING\ UR\ MILK\ CARTON\ UKELELE\ AND\ INSTEAD\ OF\ RECORDING\ IT\ JUST\ HAVE\ \nSOME\ GUY\ PROMISE\ TO\ TRY\ REALLY\ HARD\ TO\ REMEMBER\ WHAT\ IT\ SOUNDED\ LIKE\ SO\ HE\ \nCAN\ TELL\ EVERYONE\ LATER\n%\ni\ gobbled\ up\ turds.\ Yes.\ it\ was\ me!!\ I\ creeped\ into\ the\ mens\ room\ of\ my\ \nlocal\ mcd's.\ \ Murder\ is\ wrong,\ and\ sodomy's\ a\ sin,\ but\ there\ ain't\ nothin\ \nwrong\ with\ this\ shit\ eating\ grin.\ \ Shit\ eating\ grin!\ \ Shit\ eating\ grin.\ \ I'm\ \na\ fecal\ feasting\ faggot,\ always\ have\ been.\ \ Shit\ eating\ grin!\ \ Shit\ eating\ \ngrin!\ \ Well\ hey\ you\ guys,\ what's\ happenin?\ :)\n%\nFolks,\ as\ we\ reflect\ on\ this\ massive\ tragedy,\ it\ behooves\ us\ to\ consider\ \nanother\ giant\ wave\ sweeping\ the\ globe\ killing\ indiscriminantly,\ a\ wave\ of\ \nzionist\ oppresion.\ We\ need\ to\ divert\ funds\ away\ from\ this\ piddling\ natural\ \ndisaster\ to\ fight\ the\ REAL\ threat:\ the\ Jewnami\n%\nthe\ only\ reason\ they\ are\ fighting\ for\ the\ marriage\ thing\ is\ just\ to\ bitch\ \nabout\ something,\ if\ they\ get\ the\ right\ to\ marry\ theyll\ bitch\ about\ something\ \nelse\ nothings\ good\ enough\ for\ homosexuals\ and\ various\ forms\ of\ coloreds.\ not\ \nonly\ do\ they\ have\ forced\ equality\ but\ they\ have\ extra\ benifits\ and\ weak\ \nminded\ people\ tiptoeing\ around\ them\ trying\ to\ be\ PC.\ and\ then\ they\ try\ to\ \nforce\ beliefs\ onto\ people.\ its\ ok\ for\ them\ to\ disagree\ and\ feel\ and\ think\ \nwhat\ they\ want,\ but\ then\ they\ try\ to\ enact\ various\ forceful\ tactics\ on\ \npeople\ who\ are\ equally\ but\ oppositely\ off\ the\ norm\ as\ they\ are,\ such\ as\ \nracists.\ they\ have\ just\ as\ much\ right\ to\ feel\ the\ way\ that\ they\ do\ as\ a\ \nhomosexual\ does\ to\ feel\ the\ way\ they\ do.\ marraige\ is\ not\ a\ civil\ right,\ but\ \nthe\ ability\ to\ hate\ something\ is\n%\nAnime\ characters\ gone\ wild.\ Non\ stop\ hardcore\ erotic\ anime\ moments\ captured\ \non\ film,\ Shockingly\ hot\ steamy\ scenes\ of\ famous\ anime\ characters\ exploring\ \nwild\ sexual\ fantasies.\ Warning:\ Anime\ Fiction\ contains\ explicit\ raunchy\ \ncontent\ (yeah\ baby!)\ and\ is\ definitely\ not\ suitable\ for\ a\ candlelit\ romantic\ \nevening\ with\ a\ loved\ one,\ unless\ you\ both\ like\ watching\ anime\ characters\ get\ \nit\ on!\n%\nwhy\ dont\ you\ linux\ users\ just\ shove\ all\ this\ open\ source\ bullshit\ up\ your\ \nown\ ass.\ \ no\ one\ cares\ about\ compiling\ or\ configuring\ or\ any\ of\ the\ bullshit\ \nyou\ constantly\ jack\ off\ about.\ \ \ we\ normal\ people\ just\ care\ about\ chatting\ \nand\ sending\ email\ to\ our\ friends\ and\ viewing\ the\ www\ so\ please\ shut\ the\ fuck\ \nup\ about\ foxfire\ or\ whatever\ the\ fuck\ tangent\ you're\ going\ off\ on.\ \ thanks\ \nfor\ reading\ this.\ dongs.\n%\nChat.\ Chat.\ Till\ the\ sun\ is\ gone.\ \ Chat\ till\ your\ eyes\ sag\ and\ your\ cheeks\ \nare\ wan.\ \ Quickly\ sip\ that\ fizzing\ mountain\ dew.\ \ Pop\ a\ few\ cheetos\ in\ your\ \nmouth\ and\ chew.\ \ Pimply\ fat\ nerdlings\ huddled\ on\ the\ puter.\ \ #Chatterz:\ \nFinal\ Destination\ for\ those\ without\ a\ future.\n%\nThe\ Flu\ Fuck:\ blow\ that\ snot\ into\ your\ hand.\ \ wipe\ it\ on\ your\ tongue\ oh\ man.\ \n\ crunchy\ crunch,\ the\ boogers\ go.\ \ Gulp!\ you\ swallow.\ Down\ they\ go.\ \ Uh-uh-uh\ \nhere\ comes\ sneeze.\ \ Achoo!\ You're\ bent,\ hands\ on\ your\ knees.\ \ A\ prodding's\ \nfelt,\ betwixt\ your\ cheeks.\ \ What\ the\ heck?\ It's\ a\ linux\ geek\ \ With\ cock\ \nunfurl'd,\ he\ rips\ your\ pants.\ Nothing\ can\ stop\ this\ fag's\ advance.\ \ In\ it\ \ngoes,\ his\ cock\ doth\ plunge.\ Your\ memory\ will\ never\ ever\ expunge:\ this\ \nterrible\ memory\ of\ assrape\ uncouth.\ \ Why\ didn't\ he\ wait?\ Only\ 10\ feet\ from\ \nglory\ hole\ booth\n%\nIt's\ about\ time\ I\ told\ the\ truth.\ The\ reason\ I\ don't\ like\ gays\ is\ that\ when\ \nI\ was\ in\ the\ navy\ I\ had\ several\ homosexual\ experiences\ and\ so\ i\ know\ what\ \nfaggots\ get\ up\ to\ is\ the\ devils\ work.\ This\ black\ guy\ in\ my\ dorm\ used\ to\ make\ \nme\ suck\ his\ dick\ and\ then\ he'd\ pump\ my\ ass\ full\ of\ his\ vile\ semen\ and\ there\ \nwas\ nothing\ I\ could\ do\ about\ it.\ The\ shit\ eating\ faggot\ had\ me\ trapped\ there\ \nfor\ months\ at\ sea\ so\ I\ had\ to\ suck\ his\ rancid\ sambo\ dick\ until\ we\ got\ back\ \nto\ port.\ That's\ why\ faggots\ will\ burn\ in\ a\ lake\ of\ fire\ and\ why\ I\ now\ have\ \nto\ wear\ a\ colostomy\ bag.\n%\nMTV\ is\ responsible\ for\ brainwashing\ the\ youth\ into\ thinking\ that\ niggers\ are\ \ngods\ and\ that\ rap\ is\ music!\ The\ garbage\ that\ they\ pump\ into\ kids\ heads\ \nshould\ be\ punishable\ by\ death\ via\ anal\ electrocution!\ And\ has\ anyone\ seen\ \nthe\ advertisement\ for\ the\ video\ game\ called\ grand\ theft\ auto-san\ andreas?\ \nIsn't\ that\ special?\ A\ game\ that\ glorifies\ niggers\ selling\ crack\ and\ running\ \nthe\ streets\ with\ rocket\ launchers,\ shooting\ at\ cops\ and\ speaking\ ebonics!\ \nGod\ I\ hate\ niggers\ so\ much\ I\ can\ taste\ blood!\n%\nPerhaps\ the\ hottest\ thing\ to\ do\ with\ Ashlee\ Simpson\ would\ be\ to\ \n(consensually)\ punch\ her\ in\ the\ face\ as\ hard\ as\ possible,\ busting\ her\ nose\ \nand\ lip,\ licking\ her\ bloody\ face\ all\ over,\ sticking\ your\ tongue\ down\ her\ \nthroat\ and\ swapping\ blood\ and\ saliva\ for\ hours\ whilst\ playing\ with\ her\ raven\ \nhair\ and\ rubbing\ your\ hard-on\ against\ her\ thigh\ and\ crotch.\n%\nI\ can't\ yawn\ loud\ enough.\ Every\ person\ has\ met\ you.\ The\ \"crazy\ guy\"\ who\ \ncomes\ up\ with\ half-inspired\ shit.\n%\nTAKE\ THE\ RED\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ BLUE\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ RED\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ BLUE\ PILLTAKE\ \nTHE\ RED\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ BLUE\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ RED\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ BLUE\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ \nRED\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ BLUE\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ RED\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ BLUE\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ RED\ \nPILLTAKE\ THE\ BLUE\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ RED\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ BLUE\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ RED\ PILL\n%\nhahahah\ shit\ face,\ yes\ i'm\ so\ jealous\ of\ you!!!\ i\ wish\ i\ was\ some\ ugly\ ass\ \nkid\ who\ lived\ his\ entire\ flaccid\ existence\ for\ the\ joy\ getting\ hits\ on\ some\ \ninternet\ forum.\ it\ must\ be\ better\ than\ getting\ hits\ to\ the\ face\ that\ your\ \nalcoholic\ step\ father\ gives\ you,\ right?\ you\ fucking\ piece\ of\ miserable\ shit.\ \ni\ feel\ sorry\ for\ your\ shit\ parents.\n%\nStill\ dialing\ 911\ for\ emergency\ police\ services?\ If\ you're\ like\ many\ people\ \nin\ the\ New\ York\ area,\ these\ simple\ numbers\ can\ be\ a\ painful\ reminder\ of\ \nloved\ ones\ lost\ in\ the\ terrible\ tragedy\ of\ September\ 11,\ 2001.\n%\nTrolls\ of\ trolls.\ You\ don't\ get\ this.\ \ We\ make\ jokes\ that\ you're\ sure\ to\ \nmiss.\ LOL\ at\ LOL,\ Rolling\ on\ the\ floor.\ \ Laughing\ or\ Crying?\ You\ ass-ruined\ \nwhore.\ \ This\ troll's\ so\ meta\ you\ choked\ on\ a\ chip.\ \ Too\ much\ ranch\ dressing,\ \nyou\ slant-eyed\ nip.\ \ Go\ back\ to\ Everquest\ and\ pretend\ you're\ a\ girl.\ \ We're\ \nthe\ royalty\ of\ trolls.\ Kings,\ dukes\ and\ earls.\n%\nFor\ those\ of\ you\ who\ dont\ know:\ The\ south\ beach\ diet\ consists\ of\ eating\ the\ \nmoist\ turds\ from\ the\ discarded\ bathing\ suits\ abandoned\ at\ the\ beach.\n%\nPeople,\ am\ I\ the\ only\ one\ who\ realizes\ that\ binary\ packages\ are\ almost\ \nuseless?\ Except\ a\ few\ basic\ packages\ (as\ in\ USE\ independent,\ e.g.\ gcc),\ the\ \nresult\ depends\ greatly\ by\ the\ USE\ variable.\ Let's\ take\ for\ example\ the\ \nmod_php\ package.\ How\ useful\ a\ binary\ mod_php\ will\ be?\n%\nbuddy,\ if\ you\ were\ a\ girl\ i\ would\ take\ u\ out\ to\ a\ nice\ steak\ dinner\ (w/\ \nplenty\ of\ steak\ fries)\ and\ a\ movie\ (has\ to\ be\ matinee\ tho)\n%\nhi\ my\ names\ jimmy\ and\ im\ 13\ and\ the\ other\ day\ i\ was\ playing\ with\ myself\ \nwhile\ watching\ showcase\ and\ i\ realised\ i\ couldnt\ quite\ reach\ my\ fireman\ with\ \nmy\ mouth.\ so\ what\ i\ did\ was\ i\ took\ a\ small\ straw\ and\ shoved\ it\ down\ my\ \nurethra.\ and\ i\ started\ to\ blow\ really\ hard..\ now\ i\ have\ a\ small\ bubble\ like\ \nfigure\ on\ the\ side\ of\ my\ fireman..\ could\ this\ be\ from\ blowing\ into\ the\ \nstraw???\n%\nAlgebra\ is\ the\ class\ today.\ All\ these\ numbers\ are\ making\ me\ gay.\ Square\ root\ \nof\ this,\ cosine\ of\ that.\ Goddamn\ the\ math\ teacher\ is\ fat.\ Equations\ and\ \nproofs,\ I\ can't\ take\ any\ more.\ She\ might\ be\ fat,\ but\ hey\ :\ She's\ a\ whore.\ \nI'll\ calculate\ the\ angle\ to\ ruin\ her\ cunt.\ Drive\ in\ my\ protractor,\ for\ a\ \ncalculator\ I\ hunt.\ Need\ to\ calculate\ this\ math\ bitch's\ weight.\ Oh\ fuck\ I've\ \nbeen\ crushed\ \;\ too\ late.\n%\nUhm,\ excusez-moi,\ but\ as\ a\ regular\ on\ the\ richest\ channel\ on\ EFnet,\ I\ think\ \nI\ have\ the\ authority\ to\ deem\ you\ a\ pusillanimous\ troll.\ \ Go\ back\ to\ dipping\ \nyour\ stale\ cheetos\ in\ your\ ramen,\ you\ white\ trash\ \ntoo-poor-to-afford-neutrogena\ too-stupid-to-know-Biore-is-better\ pizza-faced\ \nnerd.\ I'm\ going\ to\ go\ ejaculate\ into\ a\ fresh\ silk\ scarf,\ hand\ made\ by\ a\ Thai\ \ncompany\ in\ which\ my\ father\ has\ a\ controlling\ interest.\ I'm\ just\ glad\ your\ \ninane\ blather\ only\ took\ a\ small\ portion\ of\ my\ glorious\ 30\"\ Apple\ LCD.\n%\nI\ also\ like\ to\ eat\ poop.\ One\ time\ my\ girlfriend\ came\ over\ and\ i\ just\ ate\ her\ \npoop.\ She\ got\ very\ very\ angry\ wehen\ i\ tried\ to\ kiss\ her\ she\ like\ said\ \"\ you\ \nare\ the\ sickest\ person\ in\ the\ world\ you\ sick\ fuck\"\ then\ i\ said\ what\ you\ \ndon't\ like\ to\ eat\ poop.\ I\ mean\ i\ don't\ see\ the\ big\ deal\ i\ mean\ i\ have\ been\ \ndoing\ it\ since\ i\ was\ a\ kid.\ I\ nevver\ had\ any\ friends\ because\ i\ would\ always\ \neat\ there\ poop\ after\ they\ pooped\ it\ out.\ Since\ i\ never\ had\ any\ friends\ I\ \njust\ made\ friends\ with\ my\ poop.\ I\ would\ make\ racecars\ out\ of\ my\ poop\ and\ \nburn\ my\ penis\ with\ cigar\ buds.\ I\ think\ you\ should\ just\ live\ with\ it\n%\nfuck\ with\ me\ and\ i'll\ instant\ message\ you\ with\ text\ size\ 25\n%\nI\ flogged\ my\ engorged\ penis\ in\ a\ manic\ phase.\ My\ scrotum,\ hairless\ and\ taut,\ \nbasked\ in\ warm\ rays.\ Glistening\ with\ sweat,\ Oh\ how\ it\ did\ shine.\ The\ helmet\ \nof\ a\ gladiator\ from\ olden\ time.\ Two\ bronzed\ eggs,\ such\ a\ glorious\ sight.\ A\ \nsymbol\ of\ manhood\ and\ all\ that\ is\ right.\ You\ may\ choose\ to\ snicker\ or\ call\ \nme\ queer.\ Make\ no\ mistake\;\ I\ don�t\ take\ it\ in\ the\ rear.\n%\nLook\ here\ \"dad\",\ the\ thing\ you\ need\ to\ understand\ about\ your\ daughter\ is\ \nthat\ she\ WANTS\ to\ be\ raped.\ She\ LIKES\ it.\ Look\ at\ the\ way\ she\ dresses!\ If\ \nshe\ wanted\ to\ be\ left\ alone\ she\ would\ wear\ the\ burqa\ allah\ so\ wisely\ \ndictates.\ Instead\ she\ dresses\ like\ a\ western\ harlot,\ she\ desires\ to\ be\ \nbeaten\ and\ raped\ like\ all\ sluts\ of\ the\ west.\ \ If\ you\ were\ a\ better\ father\ to\ \nher,\ this\ wouldn't\ have\ happened\ but\ that\ was\ then,\ and\ this\ is\ now,\ and\ I'm\ \nnot\ going\ to\ let\ you\ stand\ in\ the\ way\ of\ her\ happiness\ any\ longer.\ If\ you\ \nwant\ to\ get\ untied\ any\ time\ soon,\ I\ suggest\ you\ quit\ screaming\ and\ let\ me\ do\ \nwhat\ must\ be\ done\ in\ peace.\n%\nYou\ wouldn't\ think\ it\ to\ look\ at\ me,\ but\ I\ am\ a\ serious\ badass\ and\ I\ will\ \nmess\ you\ up\ if\ you\ so\ much\ as\ look\ at\ me\ funny.\ A\ lot\ of\ people\ were\ \nexecuted\ last\ year\ in\ this\ state\ for\ that\ deadliest\ of\ crimes:\ Fucking\ with\ \nme.\ So\ step\ back\ off\ of\ my\ IRC\ channel\ if\ you\ know\ what's\ good\ for\ you,\ \nBITCH.\ \n%\nEarlier\ today,\ while\ talking\ to\ a\ client\ about\ her\ policy,\ I\ accidentally\ \nsaid\ \"I'm\ pro\ rape\"\ instead\ of\ \"I'll\ pro-rate\ your\ account\".\ She\ tried\ to\ \nignore\ the\ slip\ up,\ unfortunately\ I\ complicated\ matters\ by\ gagging\ her\ with\ \nmy\ necktie\ and\ repeatedly\ raping\ her.\ Sometimes\ I\ think\ I\ must\ not\ care\ \nabout\ Geico\ shareholder\ value\ at\ all.\n%\nI\ cant\ believe\ this.\ I\ bought\ this\ Radeon\ X800XT\ and\ I'm\ only\ getting\ 70\ FPS\ \nin\ the\ latest\ action\ game.\ The\ manufacturer's\ drivers\ are\ shit,\ and\ the\ \nprogramming\ for\ the\ game\ is\ sub-standard.\ I\ spend\ my\ good\ money,\ and\ I\ \ndemand\ 72\ FPS\ for\ my\ entertainment\ pleasure.\ \ I\ will\ attempt\ registry\ hacks,\ \nextreme\ overclocking/cooling\ and\ DLL\ replacement\ to\ achieve\ the\ necessary\ \nresult,\ but\ if\ I\ am\ not\ successful,\ this\ game\ is\ the\ worst\ in\ history\ and\ \nshould\ be\ consigned\ to\ your\ recycle\ bin.\ Good\ day.\n%\nThis\ fucking\ faggot\ just\ pisses\ me\ off\ becuz\ he\ and\ I\ were\ internet\ dating\ \nand\ he\ broke\ up\ with\ me\ for\ some\ other\ fuckin\ newbie.\ Ima\ tell\ you\ what\ \ndon't\ internet\ date\ him\ cuz\ he\ cheats\ on\ you\ and\ he\ is\ mean.\ Im\ going\ to\ \nhack\ him\ soon\ and\ hes\ going\ to\ wish\ he\ never\ met\ me\ that\ fuckin\ faggot.\n%\nInsane\ Clown\ Posse\ MegaRap\ -\ \ We're\ da\ Insane\ Clown\ Posse.\ We're\ overweight\ \nand\ bossy.\ \ Oh\ shit\ you\ gotta\ know\ what's\ up.\ \ To\ be\ hardcore\ you\ need\ \nmake-up.\ \ Closet\ faggots\ all\ are\ we.\ \ Fiddle\ my\ balls\ and\ my\ pee-pee.\ Insane\ \nClown\ Posse?\ More\ like\ Loony\ Queer\ Gang.\ One\ dude\ who's\ more\ attractive\ than\ \nus:\ Shredder's\ pal\ Krang.\ \ \ We're\ weird\ and\ we're\ angry\ and\ we\ don't\ conform\ \nat\ all.\ Of\ course\ we've\ never\ faught\ before,\ we'd\ run\ from\ any\ brawl.\ \ You\ \ncoward!\ You\ goddamn\ pussy.\ \ Can't\ you\ handle\ us?\ \ It's\ not\ our\ fault\ cheetos\ \ntaste\ good\ and\ we've\ got\ ample\ guts.\ \ \ Raw\ raw,\ I'm\ Violent\ J\ and\ I\ play\ the\ \ntrombone.\ \ I\ march\ in\ the\ school\ marching\ band\;\ I've\ got\ a\ loving\ home.\ My\ \nlife\ sucks\ bad\ and\ I\ kill\ cops\ and\ shit\ on\ toilet\ seats.\ \ I\ curled\ my\ hair\ \nand\ did\ my\ face\ and\ now\ I'm\ selling\ beats.\ \ For\ legions\ of\ you\ fat-assed\ \nfucks\ think\ I'm\ the\ coolest\ thing.\ \ But\ all\ I\ do\ is\ amplify\ my\ farts\ and\ \nyelling,\ sing.\ \ In\ secret\ I\ buy\ Eminem\ to\ study\ up\ his\ rhymes.\ but\ I\ don't\ \nget\ it,\ how\ he\ does,\ I\ cry\ to\ Mom\ and\ whine.\ \ My\ favorite\ sport\ is\ Ninja\ and\ \nI\ always\ dress\ in\ black.\ It\ looks\ a\ little\ awkward\ in\ gym\ class\ when\ I\ run\ \ntrack.\ \ I\ never\ bring\ the\ proper\ clothes--of\ changing\ I\ am\ scared.\ \ What\ if\ \nthe\ jocks\ see\ how\ my\ tighty-whities\ are\ all\ teared?\ \ \ I\ only\ wear\ one\ pair,\ \nof\ course.\ For\ more\ would\ be\ a\ waste.\ And\ after\ a\ long\ day,\ well,\ I\ just\ \nLOVE\ it\ how\ they\ taste.\ \ That\ sour\ sweet\ of\ sweat\ and\ shit\ forever\ on\ my\ \nlips.\ \ It's\ not\ my\ fault\ if\ briefs\ well\ used\ will\ in\ time,\ rip.\ \ Wash\ my\ \nclothes,\ you\ dare\ suggest?\ Hygiene's\ invoked\ my\ ire.\ \ I\ scrub\ myself\ with\ \noil\ from\ a\ pack\ of\ Oscar\ Meyers.\ Dead\ people,\ gore\ and\ blood.\ It's\ shocking\ \nis\ it\ not?\ \ Check\ it\ out,\ my\ older\ brother\ might\ get\ me\ some\ pot.\ \ Once\ my\ \ndad\ gave\ me\ some\ beer\ and\ yes,\ I\ took\ a\ sip.\ \ Let\ me\ say,\ it's\ good!\ I\ \ncouldn't\ even\ handle\ it.\ \ \ And\ tuesday\ after\ school\ my\ friend\ named\ Mike\ \ngave\ me\ a\ cig!\ But\ I\ was\ scared\ of\ smoke-caused\ cancer.\ Maybe\ when\ I'm\ \nbig...\ Instead\ I\ wrestle\ with\ my\ pals\ in\ first\ or\ second\ grade.\ \ I\ want\ to\ \nbeat\ those\ little\ punks,\ but\ in\ truth,\ well,\ I'm\ afraid.\ \ They\ pin\ me\ down\ \nand\ kick\ me\ in\ the\ head\ so\ violently,\ and\ when\ I\ lay,\ a\ sobbing\ heap,\ they\ \nsquat\ on\ me\ and\ pee.\ Juggy\ Juggy\ Juggalo\ two\ four\ six.\ This\ is\ Linkin\ Park\ \nproduced\ exclusively\ by\ hicks.\ \ I'm\ the\ terror\ from\ Vermont,\ the\ danger\ \nstate\ with\ trees.\ \ Yeah,\ I'm\ from\ the\ cuts.\ It's\ practically\ LBC.\ \ \ I'm\ good\ \nat\ mathematics\ but\ I\ don't\ like\ history.\ but\ more\ than\ doing\ homework\ I\ read\ \nNancy\ Drew\ myst'ries.\ \ So\ you\ see\ it\ doesn't\ get\ any\ more\ hardcore\ than\ this\ \nclown.\ You\ better\ watch\ yourself\ or--OOPs\ O\ shit!\ I\ just\ made\ brown.\ \ I\ \ndon't\ have\ such\ a\ good\ control\ of\ muscles\ in\ my\ rear.\ \ Just\ one\ drawback\ of\ \nbeing\ an\ HIV\ plus\ queer.\ Sometimes\ Dad\ dresses\ like\ Gandalf,\ does\ me\ up\ as\ \nFrodo.\ \ My\ mom\ watches--she\ kind\ of\ looks\ like\ hunchback\ Quasimodo.\ \ The\ \nring\ of\ power\ tween\ my\ cheeks\;\ his\ middle\ in\ my\ earth,\ his\ burly\ arms\ fast\ \nwrapped\ around\ my\ rarely-cleansed\ girth.\ \ I\ try\ to\ tell\ my\ teachers\ of\ my\ \nplight,\ my\ awful\ tale.\ \ But\ when\ I\ get\ to\ Frodo:\ \"Holy\ shit\ I\ DO\ NOT\ CARE.\"\ \nA\ juggalo\ cannot\ exist\ if\ Daddy\ is\ a-rapin.\ \ But\ in\ truth,\ you\ get\ to\ like\ \nit\ so\ there's\ no\ escapin'.\ What's\ it\ matter\ that\ my\ songs\ completely\ lack\ a\ \ntune?\ My\ customers\ are\ tone-deaf\ pusillanimous\ poltroons.\ \ They\ listen\ in\ \nthe\ desperate\ wish\ that\ they'll\ become\ less\ nerdy.\ \ \"I\ can't\ go\ to\ parties,\"\ \nthey\ say.\ Bed\ time\ is\ seven\ thirty.\ \ \ Rebel\ they\ will,\ alone\ in\ a\ bedroom\ \nwith\ door\ a-signed.\ \"No\ girls\ allowed,\"\ boldly\ proclaimed.\ I\ don't\ think\ the\ \ngirls\ mind.\ \ Sipping\ mountain\ dew\ and\ with\ a\ pop\ a\ new\ can-Pringles,\ they\ \nprotest\ online.\ Forum\ posts.\ these\ fags:\ forever\ single.\ I'm\ ninety\ pounds\ \nabove\ the\ line.\ They\ say\ I'm\ overweight.\ So\ what\ if\ I\ could\ never\ ever\ ever\ \nget\ a\ date.\ Yo!\ I'm\ a\ clown\ and\ I'm\ crazy\ and\ I\ sing\ scary\ shit.\ I've\ got\ a\ \ngang\ of\ white\ kids\ who\ in\ front\ of\ Linux\ sit.\ \ The\ white\ screen\ pales\ their\ \nfaces\ which\ are\ pocked\ with\ pimples\ many,\ they\ spend\ their\ nights\ with\ pants\ \nunzipped,\ jerking\ to\ Brain\ and\ Penny.\ \ This\ you\ see's\ my\ posse\ and\ you\ betta\ \nrepresent.\ \ Don't\ be\ male\ or\ have\ a\ cock--our\ pants'll\ be\ a\ tent.\ This's\ \nViolent\ J\ now,\ signing\ off,\ concluding\ this\ show\ live.\ \ It's\ time\ to\ show\ my\ \ntrue\ ID!\ Love,\ Mega\ Man\ 5\ I\ LOVE\ PEE\n%\nhi,\ i\ came\ across\ a\ picture\ on\ 'rate\ my\ poo'\ a\ few\ weeks\ ago,\ of\ a\ female\ \nbent\ over\ in\ a\ forest\ or\ something,\ with\ a\ long\ 'log'\ coming\ out\ of\ her\ \nbackside.\ it's\ since\ been\ vanished\ from\ the\ site\ -\ any\ chance\ of\ it\ being\ \nre-posted,\ or\ getting\ a\ copy\ of\ it\ emailed\ to\ me?\ that\ would\ be\ great!\ \nthanks.......\n%\nI'm\ a\ Vietnam\ Vet.\ I\ don't\ like\ gooks,\ Islam\ and\ all\ that\ shit.\ It\ is\ a\ just\ \nwar\ in\ Iraq.\ Those\ son\ of\ a\ bitchin\ Iraqi's\ are\ trying\ to\ make\ other\ people\ \nlive\ like\ them,\ including\ you.\ Look\ at\ what\ they\ did\ to\ the\ Kurds,\ the\ \ninvasion\ of\ Kuwait\ and\ the\ beheadings\ of\ the\ internationals\ who\ have\ nothing\ \nto\ do\ with\ the\ war.\ They're\ cowards\ and\ eventually\ will\ be\ eliminated\ if\ for\ \nanything,\ their\ oil.\ The\ John\ Kerry\ liberals\ of\ the\ world\ are\ also\ your\ \nenemies\ along\ with\ the\ fuckin'\ U.N.\ Koffi\ Annan\ is\ nothing\ but\ a\ \nlying/stealing\ thief\ with\ interests\ in\ the\ middle\ east.\ Fuck\ 'em\ all.\ I'm\ \nglad\ we\ went\ to\ war\ without\ 'em.\ Remember,\ it\ wasn't\ too\ long\ ago\ that\ we\ \nwere\ at\ war\ with\ G.Britain,\ Germany,\ Japan.\ North\ Korea\ is\ next.\ Kim\ Il\ Jung\ \nhas\ shit\ for\ brains\ and\ will\ also\ meet\ his\ fate.\ Don't\ trust\ those\ fuckin'\ \nRussians\ either.\ The\ history\ of\ war\ always\ repeats\ itself.\ I\ would\ rather\ \nfight\ and\ die,\ not\ for\ the\ liberal\ fagots\ of\ this\ country,\ but\ for\ my\ own\ \npiece\ of\ mind\ and\ revenge.\ Fuck\ all\ that\ talk\ about\ colateral\ damage.\ How\ \nmuch\ colateral\ damage\ was\ done\ in\ New\ York?\n%\nJust\ as\ there\ are\ warnings\ on\ cigarette\ packages\ that\ smoking\ will\ give\ you\ \ncancer,\ White\ people\ should\ be\ warned\ that\ their\ risk\ of\ getting\ AIDS\ is\ \nincreased\ dramatically\ by\ having\ sex\ with\ Negroes.\ Not\ that\ a\ National\ \nSocialist,\ or\ any\ racially\ aware\ White\ person,\ would\ ever\ in\ a\ million\ years\ \nhave\ a\ desire\ to\ have\ sex\ with\ a\ Negro!\ However,\ many\ of\ our\ racial\ brothers\ \nand\ sisters\ are\ victims\ of\ anti-White\ propaganda\ and\ actually\ believe\ that\ \nrace-mixing\ is\ a\ good\ thing.\ These\ people\ should\ be\ made\ aware\ that\ their\ \nchances\ of\ getting\ AIDS\ is\ increased\ by\ such\ actions.Negroes,\ who\ only\ make\ \nup\ about\ 13%\ of\ the\ US\ population,\ now\ account\ for\ more\ than\ half\ of\ all\ new\ \nH.I.V.\ infections,\ according\ to\ the\ Centers\ for\ Disease\ Control\ and\ \nPrevention.\ Negro\ females\ account\ for\ 72\ percent\ of\ all\ new\ cases\ among\ \nwomen.\ These\ facts\ should\ shake\ the\ racially\ numb\ White\ into\ reality!\n%\nYou\ have\ all\ been\ brainwashed.\ Yes\ the\ airwaves\ taught\ you\ that\ hating\ \nblacks\ is\ wrong\ and\ they\ do\ not\ stop\ there.\ They\ are\ telling\ us\ that\ we\ must\ \naccept\ faggots\ rights.\ They\ tell\ us\ when\ we\ are\ preaching\ the\ word\ of\ God\ \nabout\ how\ God\ hates\ the\ HOMOS\ that\ we\ are\ commiting\ hate\ crimes.\ Another\ \nbuzzword\ for\ you\ simpletons\ to\ use\ to\ make\ yourself\ think\ you\ are\ a\ tolerant\ \nintelligent\ person.\ I\ guess\ you\ folks\ think\ you\ are\ smarter\ than\ God.\ You\ \ntell\ the\ semen\ drinking\ feces\ eating\ faggots\ that\ they\ have\ a\ right\ to\ do\ \nwhat\ they\ do\ even\ if\ it\ kills\ them\ with\ disease.\ You\ say\ I\ cannot\ preach\ my\ \nbible\ and\ warn\ these\ filthy\ faggots\ where\ they\ will\ spend\ eternity\ should\ \nthey\ continue\ this\ vile\ lifestyle.\ Does\ anyone\ have\ tolerance\ for\ a\ person\ \nliving\ a\ Christian\ lifestyle.\ Who\ sticks\ up\ for\ us?\n%\nI\ always\ told\ myself\ I\ would\ try\ anything\ once\ but\ this\ was\ a\ total\ failure.\ \nWas\ smoking\ some\ killer\ hash\ in\ denmark\ and\ met\ this\ american\ african\ woman\ \nnamed\ shawna.\ She\ seemed\ to\ be\ educated\ and\ we\ hit\ it\ off.\ One\ thing\ led\ to\ \nanother\ and\ then\ She\ gave\ me\ a\ BJ\ which\ was\ really\ good\ and\ when\ I\ went\ down\ \non\ her\ I\ vomited.\ I\ lied\ and\ told\ her\ I\ had\ a\ cold\ with\ post\ nasal\ drip.\ I\ \nhave\ sores\ in\ my\ mouth.\ After\ wiping\ the\ vomit\ off\ of\ her\ and\ a\ couple\ lines\ \nof\ coke\ I\ entered\ her\ doggy\ style.\ Good\ thing\ she\ would\ have\ made\ me\ \ndismount\ after\ the\ expression\ of\ the\ stench\ I\ experienced.\ It\ was\ a\ terrible\ \ndiareah\ stench\ which\ from\ what\ i\ hear\ is\ normal.\ I\ had\ to\ take\ yet\ another\ \nline\ of\ coke\ to\ finish\ the\ job.\ The\ sex\ was\ below\ average\ and\ dismal\ if\ you\ \nconsider\ the\ hideous\ odor\ I\ went\ through.\ Just\ got\ back\ from\ the\ Doctor\ and\ \nI\ have\ the\ clap.\ I\ thought\ Americans\ were\ clean.\ WTF?\n%\nFUCC\ ALL\ U\ DAYM\ HATERSZ..U\ CAN\ JUX\ EAT\ DIS\ FRESH\ LAO\ PUSSY\ RYT\ HER\ NIGGUH!!!\ \nI\ DONT\ GIVUH\ DAYM\ IF\ PPL\ CALL\ ME\ A\ FUCCIN\ HOE\ CUZ\ I\ NOE\ IM\ NOT.\ DATS\ ALL\ U\ \nGUYS\ FUCCIN\ DO\ IS\ 2\ TALK\ SHIT\ ABOUT\ ME??\ IS\ DAT\ ALL\ U\ CAN\ FUCCIN\ DO?\ U\ NO\ \nWAT?\ I\ DONT\ GIVUH\ DAYM\ CUHZ!\ FUCC\ U\ NIKKAS\ DER\ AINT\ ROOM\ 4\ HATERSZ\ IN\ MAH\ \nLIFE\ AND\ SOUL\ NIGGUH\ FUCC\ U!\ DIE\ N\ GO\ 2\ HELL\ BITCH!\ ALL\ U\ DO\ IS\ JUDGE\ ME\ BYE\ \nDA\ WAY\ I\ DRESS\ AND\ U\ DONT\ NOE\ DA\ WHOLE\ STORY.\ DONT\ JUX\ JUDGE\ DA\ BOOK\ BY\ DA\ \nCOVER!\ READ\ DA\ WHOLE\ STORY\ FIRST!\ \ I\ FUCCIN\ HATE\ ALL\ U\ FUCCIN\ HATERSZ!\ U\ \nDONT\ NOE\ WAT\ IVE\ BEEN\ THREW!\ U\ NOE\ WAT!\ FUCC\ ALL\ U\ HATERSZ!\ U\ FUCCIN\ DISGUST\ \nME!\ U\ MAKE\ ME\ WONA\ SPIT\ AT\ CHU!\ NiKKuH\ FuCc\ aLL\ Da\ HaTeRsZ\ uP\ iN\ DiZ\ ShiiT!\n%\nWell,\ what\ else\ is\ open?\ Besides\ your\ mouth...when\ you're\ like\ kissing\ on\ \nsome\ gay\ dude\ and\ like\ holding\ his\ muscles,\ cuz\ his\ arms\ just\ are\ like\ \nwrapped\ around\ you...and\ you\ feel\ like\ so\ safe\ cuz\ you're\ like,\ you\ know,\ \nnot\ like\ you're\ gay\ or\ nothin'\ but\ God\ you\ just\ want\ to\ like\ bury\ yourself\ \nin\ his\ chest\ and\ just\ live\ there\ forever.\n%\nMac\ supporters\ are\ always\ criticizing\ Intel\ processors\ for\ their\ deadend\ \nCISC\ processors.\ \ Well,\ I\ just\ have\ to\ say\ it's\ not\ worth\ the\ weight\ gain.\ \ \nSo\ what\ the\ G5\ has\ a\ more\ promising\ future?\ I've\ seen\ the\ obesity\ figures\ on\ \nMac\ users.\ \ Is\ using\ a\ Bisque\ processor\ worth\ the\ risks\ of\ being\ overweight?\n%\nComputers\ affect\ almost\ every\ aspect\ of\ our\ lives,\ from\ driving\ to\ alarm\ \nclocks\ to\ music\ to\ refridgerators\ to\ our\ leisure\ time\ to\ our\ social\ lives\ to\ \nad\ nauseum.\ These\ things\ are\ intertwined\ with\ our\ lives\ in\ ways\ that\ are\ \noften\ unnoticed,\ yet\ they\ affect\ us\ directly\ -\ so\ directly\ that\ I\ think\ that\ \nwhen\ we\ are\ talking\ about\ the\ latest\ Mac\ product,\ we're\ not\ talking\ about\ a\ \n\"product\"\ but\ about\ a\ way\ of\ life.\n%\nyour\ a\ little\ bitch..all\ you\ do\ is\ sit\ at\ home\ on\ ya\ comp\ looking\ for\ free\ \nhomosexual\ website...................come\ to\ arizona\ mother\ fucker.the\ \ndesert\ juggalos\ will\ be\ waitin.hows\ bout\ you\ o\ to\ every\ state\ and\ walk\ up\ to\ \nsome\ real\ juggalo\ killas\ and\ tell\ em\ to\ they\ face\ icp\ sucks..then\ we\ see\ \nwhos\ tough....your\ talking\ hit\ through\ a\ fucin\ creen......HA\ HA\ HA\ HA\ HA\ \npussy\n%\nWhite\ women\ simply\ can't\ get\ enough\ black\ dick,\ it's\ a\ proven\ fact.\ You\ may\ \nthink\ your\ wife\ is\ faithful,\ but\ this\ is\ generally\ only\ the\ case\ if\ she's\ \nnot\ attractive\ enough\ to\ land\ a\ black\ cock\ of\ her\ own.\ Don't\ believe\ me?\ \nThink\ about\ how\ many\ black\ men\ your\ wife\ or\ girlfriend\ interacts\ with\ EVERY\ \nDAY.\ Odds\ are,\ she's\ fucking\ at\ least\ one\ of\ them,\ maybe\ more!\n%\nI've\ been\ running\ Windows\ XP\ since\ beta2,\ and\ it\ really\ kicks\ ass.\ I\ don't\ \nhave\ to\ recompile\ my\ kernel\ when\ I\ want\ to\ install\ an\ ethernet\ card,\ it\ \nautomatically\ detects\ it\ and\ installs\ the\ drivers\ no\ matter\ who\ the\ \nmanufacturer\ is.\ Dual\ monitors?\ No\ chore\ with\ windows,\ get\ two\ video\ cards,\ \ntwo\ monitors\ and\ it's\ set\ up!\ I\ don't\ need\ to\ edit\ config\ files\ with\ editors\ \nthat\ are\ 20\ years\ old,\ and\ show\ it.\ Intellimouse\ custom\ buttons?\ Piece\ of\ \ncake,\ with\ my\ Intellimouse\ software.You\ want\ to\ run\ games?\ Great!\ Choose\ \nfrom\ an\ array\ of\ tens\ of\ thousands\ of\ games\ that\ run\ great\ under\ DirectX\ and\ \nthe\ NT\ subsystem.\ Stability\ got\ you\ down?\ Not\ in\ this\ version,\ I\ have\ had\ \nuptimes\ of\ over\ a\ month\ (and\ then\ the\ damn\ power\ goes\ out).\ Good\ internet\ \nbrowser?\ No\ need\ for\ Kommunist\ shit,\ you've\ got\ the\ great\ Internet\ Explorer\ \n6\ a\ click\ away.\ Doing\ some\ development?\ Nothing\ but\ the\ best\ for\ Windows\ \nusers,\ choose\ from\ a\ suite\ of\ Visual\ Studio\ products\ that\ suits\ your\ needs,\ \nwith\ one\ killer\ IDE.\ Or,\ pick\ up\ a\ beta\ edition\ of\ Visual\ Studio.NET\ if\ you\ \nhave\ 200\ megs\ of\ RAM\ to\ spare!\ You\ Linux\ faggots\ can\ keep\ rooting\ for\ your\ \npiece\ of\ shit\ operating\ system\ that\ Windows\ 3.1\ tops\ in\ terms\ of\ \ncompatibility,\ all\ the\ while\ hindering\ your\ experience\ for\ something\ else\ \nyou\ could\ be\ doing,\ while\ I\ use\ the\ operating\ system\ of\ choice\ (or\ by\ \ndefault)\ for\ over\ 200\ million\ others\ in\ the\ world.\ Anti-Microsoft\ zealots\ \npiss\ and\ moan\ all\ you\ want,\ but\ your\ queer\ little\ OS\ won't\ be\ the\ reigning\ \ndesktop\ champion\ anytime\ soon.\n%\nYep,\ Heidi\ Klum\ has\ done\ it,\ she�s\ shown\ just\ how\ low\ she\ will\ go.\ It�s\ sad\ \nin\ a\ way,\ but\ to\ be\ expected,\ she\ isn�t\ getting\ any\ younger,\ and\ what\ better\ \nway\ to\ bring\ attention\ to\ yourself,\ than\ to\ show\ the\ world\ you�re\ a\ \nlow-class\ nigger-loving\ slut-whore\ black\ pole-humping\ piece\ of\ euro-trash?\ \nAt\ one\ time,\ early\ in\ her\ career,\ she\ was\ quite\ beautiful,\ but\ now,\ she�s\ \njust\ another\ pig.\ She�s\ no\ different\ than\ the\ usual\ white\ trash\ that\ ends\ up\ \ndating/marrying\ this\ unevolved\ species\ that\ time\ forgot.\ So,\ farewell\ Heidi,\ \nhope\ you\ get\ pregnant,\ and\ have\ the\ opportunity\ to\ raise\ future\ criminals,\ \nmurderers\ and\ rapist,\ er,\ I\ mean\ children\n%\nA\ special\ warning\ about\ Matrox\;\ they\ are\ from\ Canada,\ and\ so\ their\ products\ \ndo\ not\ meet\ the\ demanding\ electrical\ standards\ required\ of\ American\ computer\ \nequipment\ and\ because\ their\ chipsets\ are\ mostly\ illegal\ counterfeits\ of\ \nAmerican\ chips,\ you\ may\ encounter\ unexpected\ bugs\ and\ compatibility\ problems\ \nwith\ standard\ APIs\ such\ as\ DirectX.\ ATI\ is\ also\ Canadian\ and\ has\ the\ same\ \nproblems\;\ counterfeit\ computer\ part\ manufacturers\ are\ \ \ attracted\ to\ Canada\ \nby\ its\ lax\ intellectual\ property\ laws.\n%\nDon't\ open\ those\ emails.\ Don't\ surf\ that\ page.\ \ Lock\ yourself\ in\ a\ faraday\ \ncage.\ \ Your\ monitor'll\ pop\ and\ your\ CPU\ will\ fry.\ \ All\ I\ have\ to\ do\ is\ click\ \nthe\ button\ labeled:\ Die.\ \ I've\ got\ your\ IP\ targeted,\ your\ DNS\ uncloaked.\ \ \nSurrended\ and\ pony\ up,\ or\ click\ and\ Boom:\ You're\ smoked.\n%\nThe\ closest\ I've\ ever\ come\ to\ sucking\ my\ father's\ dick\ was\ the\ time\ he\ \ncaught\ me\ going\ through\ the\ trashcan\ in\ his\ bedroom.\ As\ a\ teenager\ growing\ \nup,\ I\ would\ always\ search\ my\ parents'\ bedroom\ trashcan\ for\ used\ condoms.\ I'd\ \nslide\ the\ used\ condoms\ over\ my\ own\ cock\ and\ jerk\ off\ with\ them,\ excited\ by\ \nthe\ feeling\ of\ my\ father's\ jizz\ and\ by\ the\ idea\ of\ adding\ my\ own\ fuckload\ \ninto\ his.\ Well,\ he\ eventually\ caught\ me\ kneeling\ over\ the\ trashcan,\ sticking\ \nmy\ tongue\ deep\ into\ one\ of\ the\ sticky\ used\ condoms\ and\ stroking\ my\ cock\ with\ \nmy\ free\ hand.\ I\ was\ literally\ caught\ with\ my\ pants\ down,\ and\ there\ was\ no\ \nway\ for\ me\ to\ hide\ what\ I\ was\ doing.\ After\ what\ seemed\ like\ several\ horrific\ \nminutes\ of\ stunned\ silence,\ he\ finally\ mumbled\ something\ about\ the\ fact\ that\ \nat\ least\ I\ was\ growing\ up\ into\ a\ healthy\ young\ man,\ and\ that\ I\ shouldn't\ \nstop\ what\ I\ was\ doing\ or\ I'd\ get\ blueballs.\ As\ embarrassed\ as\ I\ was,\ my\ cock\ \ndidn't\ want\ me\ to\ stop\ what\ I\ was\ doing,\ either.\ My\ father\ sat\ next\ to\ me\ on\ \nthe\ bed\ while\ I\ continued\ to\ sit\ on\ the\ floor\ jerking\ off.\ The\ novelty\ of\ \nthis\ situation\ had\ me\ horny\ as\ fuck\ but\ also\ a\ bit\ nervous\ (sort\ of\ like\ \nperformance\ anxiety)\ and\ it\ took\ me\ a\ while\ to\ finally\ pump\ out\ my\ cream.\ As\ \nI\ started\ to\ shoot\ off,\ I\ felt\ an\ unexpected\ sensation\ on\ my\ shoulder.\ My\ \nfather\ had\ been\ stroking\ his\ own\ cock\ as\ well,\ and\ he\ orgasmed\ at\ the\ same\ \ntime\ I\ did.\ I\ quickly\ turned\ around\ and\ saw\ him\ pump\ out\ another\ two\ or\ \nthree\ streams\ of\ cum.\ His\ eyes\ were\ screwed\ tight,\ and\ that\ fact\ made\ me\ \nbold\ enough\ to\ lean\ in\ close\ enough\ to\ gently\ lick\ on\ the\ slit\ of\ his\ \nswollen\ cockhead.\ I\ got\ the\ last\ drop\ of\ his\ spunk\ on\ my\ tongue.\ If\ he\ \nnoticed,\ he\ never\ let\ on.\ So\ I\ actually\ tasted\ my\ father's\ jizzcream,\ both\ \nfrom\ his\ used\ condoms\ and\ directly\ from\ his\ cock,\ but\ I\ never\ did\ actually\ \nblow\ him.\ But\ maybe\ one\ of\ these\ days\ I'll\ have\ the\ guts\ to\ ask\ him\ if\ he'd\ \nlet\ me.\ I\ think\ he\ might\ just\ not\ mind!\n%\nDid\ you\ know?\ The\ real\ reason\ slavery\ was\ abolished\ in\ the\ United\ States\ was\ \nthe\ discovery\ that\ niggers\ would\ gladly\ continue\ working\ in\ the\ fields\ all\ \nday\ in\ order\ to\ buy\ themselves\ shiny\ shoes\ and\ fried\ chicken\ in\ order\ to\ \ndemonstrate\ their\ newfound\ wealth\ and\ freedom\ to\ other\ fellow\ niggers.\ By\ \nremoving\ the\ financial\ sensibilities\ of\ the\ white\ man\ from\ these\ shitskinned\ \njungle\ turds,\ our\ society\ has\ flourished\ greatly\ in\ the\ last\ 140\ or\ so\ years.\n%\nIt's\ just\ retarded\ 10yr\ old\ humor.\ Oh\ wow,\ Topless\ chick\ made\ out\ of\ pixels,\ \nbeing\ zoomed\ in\ on\ by\ a\ perv.\ The\ desert\ comment\ doesn't\ even\ make\ sense,\ \nthere's\ grass\ there.\ Also,\ You\ can\ clearly\ tell\ she's\ dead,\ So\ that\ would\ be\ \nfantasizing\ necrophelia.\ Good\ job.\ Sick\ bastards.\n%\nWe\ need\ to\ remove\ laws\ which\ prohibit\ civilian\ ownership\ of\ rocket\ propelled\ \ngrenades\ and\ mobile\ surface\ to\ air\ missiles\ to\ enable\ our\ patriots\ to\ \noverthrow\ the\ state\ in\ the\ event\ a\ tyrannical\ government\ takes\ power.\n%\nMy\ mouth\ is\ at\ your\ disposal.\ Use\ it\ for\ your\ pleasure\ as\ I'm\ a\ GREAT\ \ncocksucker.\ Use\ it\ for\ your\ toilet\ as\ I'll\ drink\ your\ piss\ and\ eat\ your\ shit\ \nturd\ logs.\ You\ may\ treat\ me\ however\ it\ is\ that\ you\ want,\ whatever\ makes\ you\ \nHOT\ HARD\ and\ HORNY.\ I\ like\ guys\ 50\ yrs\ or\ older.\ Straight/Bi/Gay\ \nMarried/Single/Whatever...I\ am\ discreet.\ I\ am\ single\ and\ live\ alone\ in\ Long\ \nBeach\ California,\ so\ would\ like\ to\ keep\ action\ in\ Long\ Beach\ California,\ so\ \nwould\ like\ to\ keep\ action\ in\ the\ LA/Northern\ Orange\ county\ area.\ I\ can\ \neither\ host\ or\ come\ to\ you.\ I\ await\ your\ golden\ logs,\ mouth\ watering.\n%\nwhat\ is\ the\ point\ of\ gay\ marriage\ ?\ marriage\ as\ an\ institution\ exists\ to\ \nkeep\ people\ who\ don't\ love\ each\ other\ together\ for\ the\ benefit\ of\ their\ \noffspring\ .\ why\ do\ gays\ want\ this?\n%\nIt's\ a\ shame\ the\ gooks\ beat\ you\ good\ in\ Vietnam.\ (though\ you\ probably\ won\ \nthe\ unofficial\ underage\ girl\ rape\ contest)You\ fucking\ rambo\ wankers\n%\n<3\ BUSH,\ ONWARD\ CHRISTIAN\ SOLDIERZ,\ NEW\ WORLD\ ORDER,\ MITE\ MAKEZ\ RITE,\ THE\ \nSWORD\ CHOPZ\ OFF\ THE\ ARM\ HOLDING\ THE\ PEN,\ MANIFEZT\ DESTINY,\ REPREZENTIN'\ DA\ \nZOG\ CLIQUE,\ MACHIVELLIAN,\ DIDN'T\ NEED\ 2\ SERVE\ IN\ VIETNAM\ TO\ BOMB\ DA\ KORAN,\ \nBANG\ BANG,\ IRAQ\ THE\ NEW\ SOVIET\ BLOC,\ GUN-BARREL\ DIPLOMACY,\ VOTE\ NADER\ VOTE\ \nNADER\ VOTE\ NADER\n%\nAs\ long\ as\ I\ can\ remember,\ I've\ been\ picking\ at\ this\ small\ scab\ inside\ my\ \nright\ nose\ near\ the\ nostril\ opening\ alongside\ the\ bone\ area.\ Sometimes\ its\ \nflaky\ and\ hardened\ and\ thats\ why\ I\ pick\ at\ it\ and\ it\ never\ really\ goes\ away.\ \nOther\ times,\ its\ perfectly\ fine.\ Your\ thoughts?\n%\nHello.\ \ I\ am\ rich,\ and\ have\ the\ biggest\ computer.\ In\ addition\ to\ this,\ I\ \nalso\ masturbate\ into\ the\ most\ expensive\ monogrammed\ towels\ you'll\ ever\ set\ \nyour\ eyes\ upon.\ \ You\ can\ not\ even\ possibly\ compare\ to\ me.\ \ Good\ day.\n%\nI\ saw\ in\ a\ recent\ magazine\ that\ companies\ are\ legitimately\ selling\ catheters\ \nas\ gaming\ accessories.\ \ Sitting\ immobile\ in\ a\ chair,\ hooked\ up\ to\ a\ catheter\ \nfor\ the\ rest\ of\ your\ life..\ \ does\ this\ sound\ like\ anyone??\ Christopher\ Reeve\ \ntried\ in\ vain\ for\ years\ to\ escape\ what\ you\ people\ do\ to\ yourselves\ willingly\ \nevery\ day.\ \ My\ God,\ get\ some\ priorities!!\n%\nspeaking\ of\ policy,\ at\ least\ my\ country\ has\ enough\ sense\ to\ limit\ itself\ to\ \ntwo\ moderately\ similar\ political\ parties.\ \ you\ disgust\ me\ with\ your\ \nparliamentary\ coalitions\ that\ don't\ manage\ to\ do\ anything\ except\ to\ \nhighlight\ the\ evils\ of\ socialism\n%\nOMG\ RIAA\ MPAA\ STARFORCE\ 3\ DA\ SCENE\ IS\ DYING\ FTP\ FBI\ CYBERCRIMES\ DOJ\ RIP\ \nISONEWS\ MITNICK\ SCENERS\ CODING\ MOUNTAIN\ DEW\ LEECH\ ACCESS\ DISTRO\ HONEYPOT\ \nUNIVERSITY\ SERVER\ OC192\ TOPSITES\ CLICK\ HERE\ FOR\ FREE\ WAREZ\ CRACKIN\ \nPHREACKING\ HPVAC\ PHRACK\ MAGAZINE\ 2600\ MITNICK\ MITNICK\ MITNICK\ FXP\ COLECO\n%\nWTF\ LEAVE\ CHEESEBURGERS\ OUT\ OF\ THIS\ WHAT\ DID\ THEY\ DO\ TO\ YOU!?\ \ JUST\ BECAUSE\ \nYOURE\ SOME\ PO-DUNK\ NIGGA\ FROM\ DA\ GHETTO\ DOESNT\ MEAN\ YOU\ GOTTA\ BE\ BASHIN\ ON\ \nCOOKED\ COW\ I\ MEAN\ SERIOUSLY\ ILL\ BET\ MONEY\ THAT\ YOU\ EAT\ ENOUGH\ FRIED\ CHICKEN\ \nTO\ FEED\ THE\ ENTIRE\ CONTINENT\ OF\ AFRICA\ AND\ YOU\ PROBABLY\ GUZZLE\ ENOUGH\ MALT\ \nLIQUOR\ TO\ FILL\ 200\ BOEING\ 747S\ SO\ SHUT\ THE\ FUCK\ UP\ YARD\ APE\n%\nI\ fail\ to\ see\ how\ you're\ a\ genius\;\ passing\ up\ people\ who\ can\ actually\ play\ \ninstruments\ for\ rappers\ who\ blubber\ into\ a\ microphone.\ However,\ I\ pick\ up\ on\ \nthe\ hints\ that\ you're\ an\ African\ American\ and\ you\ would\ support\ your\ fellow\ \n\"musicians\"\ in\ their\ tirade\ of\ encouragement\ for\ shootings,\ drugs,\ and\ \nwhores.\ Little\ do\ you\ know\ you're\ only\ fueling\ this\ society's\ demise\ by\ \nencouraging\ barbaric\ hip\ hop\ culture.\ Have\ a\ great\ day.\n%\nOf\ course,\ the\ day\ will\ come\ when\ the\ stupids\ and\ the\ normals\ such\ as\ \n(chances\ are)\ yourself\ will\ fuck\ things\ up\ with\ your\ free-market,\ \nall-American,\ freedom-loving\ life-style\ to\ the\ point\ where\ the\ rest\ of\ us\ \nwho\ have\ more\ than\ two\ brain-cells\ rubbing\ together\ will\ have\ no\ choice\ but\ \nto\ exterminate\ you\ all.\ Sure,\ eat\ another\ cheeseburger\ and\ add\ another\ \npound,\ pretend\ to\ be\ a\ sensitive,\ caring\ guy\ when\ all\ you\ really\ want\ to\ do\ \nis\ sneak\ into\ your\ room\ and\ see\ if\ you\ can\ find\ any\ pornography\ where\ hot\ \nblondes\ are\ forced\ to\ eat\ shit\ and\ suck\ black\ cocks\ while\ hot\ Asian\ lesbians\ \nsuck\ menstrual\ blood\ out\ of\ their\ wet\ cunts.\ Just\ keep\ your\ head\ pointed\ \nstraight\ at\ that\ little\ monitor\ of\ yours,\ and\ you\ won't\ even\ see\ us\ as\ we\ \nsneak\ up\ and\ put\ the\ gun\ to\ your\ head.\ We\ will\ show\ you\ no\ mercy.\ We\ will\ \nfind\ you,\ we\ will\ slit\ your\ childrens'\ throats,\ and\ people\ like\ you\ will\ \nhang\ from\ the\ street\ lights.\ None\ shall\ escape\ the\ holocaust\ of\ the\ useless!\n%\nWould\ you\ like\ another\ piece\ of\ waddymelon\ to\ go\ with\ that\ fried\ chicken\ and\ \nmalt\ liquor?\ Beat\ it\ shitskin\ banjolips.\ This\ is\ a\ place\ for\ humans.\n%\nyea\ i'm\ in\ class\ and\ fell\ upon\ this\ site,\ i'm\ no\ techie\ but\ am\ quite\ \nintrigued\ by\ the\ discussions\ taking\ place\ here.\ altough,\ i\ mean\ you\ guys\ \nsound\ like\ internet\ geeks,\ the\ kind\ with\ acne\ and\ anime\ and\ weight\ problems.\ \ndo\ ya\ really\ need\ to\ resort\ to\ vulgarity\ against\ your\ own\ kind?\ \ express\ \nyour\ opinions,\ this\ country\ was\ built\ on\ those\ kind\ of\ freedoms,\ but\ take\ a\ \nchill\ pill.yes,\ i\ did\ just\ type\ that.\n%\ni\ bet\ you\ shop\ at\ thinkgeek\ you\ faggot,\ go\ jack\ off\ while\ wearing\ your\ \nbinary\ watch\ before\ you\ cry\ yourself\ to\ sleep\ in\ your\ tux\ blanket\n%\nYOU\ KNOW\ GUYS\ I\ THINK\ INSTEAD\ OF\ CAPS-LOCK,\ WE\ SHOULD\ START\ SAYING\ CAPS-LOL,\ \nBECAUSE\ IT\ CERTAINLY\ IS\ AMUSING\ WATCHING\ CERTAIN\ UPTIGHT\ INTERNET\ NERDS\ GET\ \nALL\ AGITATED\ OVER\ A\ BUNCH\ OF\ UPERCASE\ LETTERZ.\n%\nTyping\ laughter\ on\ IRC!While\ I\ understand\ that\ your\ knowledge\ of\ the\ world\ \noutside\ the\ Frances-strewn\ shards\ that,\ on\ any\ other\ day,\ would\ have\ \ncomprised\ your\ double-wide\ is\ rather,\ shall\ we\ say,\ limited\;\ Here\ in\ the\ big\ \nscary\ city\ we\ \"America\ Haters\"\ like\ to\ call\ civilization,\ there\ are\ rules\ \nthat\ govern\ behavior\ and,\ to\ put\ a\ finer\ point\ on\ it,\ internet\ humor.\ And,\ \nalthough\ one\ could\ argue\ that,\ having\ missed\ out\ on\ the\ more\ elegant\ points\ \nin\ life\ such\ as\ color\ television\ or\ refrigeration,\ that\ you\ should\ be\ \nexempted\ from\ said\ governances\ -\ I\ find\ it\ best\ to\ point\ out\ that\ ignorance\ \nof\ the\ law\ is\ no\ excuse.This\ fact,\ combined\ with\ your\ abhorent\ \nneoconservative\ indoctrination\ only\ leads\ one\ to\ conclude\ that\ your\ mental\ \nstature,\ while\ irrefutably\ suited\ towards\ a\ more\ custodial\ vocation,\ does\ \nnot\ serve\ you\ well\ here\ on\ the\ fifth-gear\ world\ of\ the\ \"information\ \nsuperhighway.\"\ Indeed,\ I\ would\ be\ remiss\ if\ I\ did\ not\ instead\ point\ you\ to\ a\ \nmore,\ shall\ we\ say,\ rewarding\ hobby\ such\ as\ admiring\ your\ reflection\ in\ the\ \nmurky\ waters\ of\ the\ local\ \"crick\"\ or,\ if\ you\ fancy,\ arguing\ with\ trees.\n%\nslitting\ open\ the\ urethra,\ cauterizing\ the\ prostrate,\ inflicting\ corporal\ \npunishment,\ blistering\ the\ penis\ with\ caustic\ acid,\ flaying\ the\ penile\ skin\ \nwith\ razor\ blades,\ sewing\ the\ prepuce\ shut\ with\ metal\ wire,\ encasing\ the\ \ngenitals\ in\ plaster\ or\ in\ lockable\ metal\ cages,\ or\ fitting\ the\ penis\ with\ \npenile\ rings\ studded\ with\ sharp\ metallic\ teeth\ to\ discourage\ erections\n%\nThe\ doctor\ performed\ fabulously\ with\ his\ textbook\ execution\ of\ a\ four-point\ \ncircumcision\ as\ he\ burst\ into\ my\ wife's\ room\ in\ the\ maternity\ ward,\ pinched\ \na\ clamp\ around\ my\ son's\ foreskin,\ and\ inserted\ an\ instrument\ between\ the\ \nforeskin\ and\ glans.\ I\ covered\ my\ ears\ as\ the\ infant's\ shrieks\ intensified,\ \nand\ the\ doctor\ was\ gracious\ enough\ to\ quickly\ tear\ the\ foreskin\ lengthwise\ \nas\ my\ little\ son's\ head\ shook\ back\ and\ forth\ ohh\ yeah\n%\nI\ can't\ believe\ I\ just\ took\ a\ shit\ in\ my\ bellman\ uniform\ at\ the\ front\ desk.\ \nWhat\ the\ fuck?\ I\ can't\ stand\ up\ and\ take\ it\ to\ the\ employee\ lounge\ because\ I\ \nam\ literally\ wading\ in\ nuggets\ of\ my\ own\ ass\ gravy.\ Any\ attempt\ at\ movement\ \nwould\ send\ this\ rancid\ post-chili\ splurting\ all\ over\ my\ wingtips\ and\ into\ \nview\ of\ every\ tranny\ prostitute\ within\ the\ hotel\ lobby.\ \ It\ doesn't\ help\ \nthat\ I've\ been\ doing\ the\ night\ audit\ all\ night!\ I\ can\ barely\ stay\ awake!\ \nWhat\ am\ I\ going\ to\ say\ to\ the\ hotel\ manager\ when\ she\ comes\ back\ from\ getting\ \nchili\ dogs\ and\ asks\ what\ I\ just\ did\ in\ the\ presence\ of\ the\ hotel\ guests?\ \nShe'll\ make\ me\ drop\ trau\ in\ front\ of\ everyone\ again.\ There\ it\ is,\ the\ 6'5\"\ \nshemale\ on\ meth\ just\ asked\ me\ if\ I\ could\ smell\ 'that'.\ I\ gotta\ go.\n%\nThis\ is\ how\ I\ calculated\ the\ how\ the\ PS3\ would\ be\ about\ 4-6X\ more\ powerful\ \nthan\ the\ current\ PS2\ according\ to\ Moore's\ law.\ Assuming\ that\ the\ clock\ speed\ \nand\ other\ performance\ metrics\ of\ the\ PS2\ stay\ relatively\ proportional,\ in\ 18\ \nmonthes\ the\ speed/power\ doubles\ to\ 600MHZ,\ in\ another\ 18\ monthes\ (2005)\ it\ \ndoubles\ to\ 1200MHZ.\ 1200\ divided\ by\ 300\ gives\ you\ 4.\ I\ added\ the\ range\ of\ \n4-6\ b/c\ I\ know\ that\ SOI\ yields\ more\ efficiency\ and\ they\ certainly\ are\ going\ \nto\ use\ more\ and\ faster\ memory...hence\ the\ range\ of\ 2.\ Either\ way,\ the\ PS3\ \nain't\ gonna\ be\ 1000X\ more\ powerful.\ You'd\ have\ to\ be\ a\ gullible\ fool\ to\ \nbelieve\ that.\n%\nWhat\ the\ fuck\ does\ that\ have\ to\ do\ with\ anyhting.\ Do\ you\ have\ a\ dick\ in\ your\ \near\ or\ something.\ i\ dont\ want\ your\ fuckin\ apology,\ I\ want\ you\ to\ just\ log\ \noff,\ stop\ fuckin\ writing\ me\ period\ and\ then\ go\ to\ your\ mothers\ room,\ eat\ her\ \nout,\ beside\ the\ drawers,\ next\ to\ the\ trash\ cans,\ and\ then\ tell\ her\ I\ \nappreicate\ her\ shaving\ my\ balls\ b/c\ its\ really\ hard\ to\ do\ it\ myself.\ Until\ \nnext\ time,\ fuck\ you\ and\ use\ your\ teeth\ to\ pick\ the\ hairs\ off\ my\ ass.\ ha\ ha.\n%\noh\ yeah\ you\ dick\ likcing\ fuck.\ you\ are\ a\ waste\ of\ sperm\ your\ mother\ should\ \nhave\ fuck\ that\ truck\ driver\ other\ than\ that\ dirty\ as\ german\ (your\ \nfather).<---(you're\ not\ smat\ enough\ to\ get\ it,\ stupid\ fuck)\ Maybe\ you\ would\ \nbe\ doing\ something\ better\ with\ you\ life\ other\ than\ argueing\ with\ me\ about\ \nposting\ meaningless\ shit.\n%\nGuess\ whoes\ back\ talking\ shit\ this\ mutha\ fuckin\ faggot\ is\ a\ mutha\ fuckin\ \nbitch\ saying\ he\ hates\ rap\ with\ a\ passion\ then\ all\ I\ got\ to\ say\ is\ fuck\ you\ \nyou\ mutha\ fuckin\ bitch\ I\ fukin\ say\ alot\ of\ curse\ words\ because\ I\ fuckin\ hate\ \nwhen\ you\ start\ hating\ on\ rap\ if\ anybody\ gots\ a\ problem\ with\ the\ way\ I\ think\ \nthen\ you\ could\ find\ a\ fuckin\ short\ peir\ and\ take\ a\ mutha\ fuckin\ walk\ I\ hope\ \nyou\ fuckin\ die\ a\ long\ and\ painful\ death\ you\ fuckin\ bitch\ later\ you\ mutha\ \nfuckin\ haters\ word\ to\ your\ mutha\ fuckin\ mutha\n%\nbefore\ yall\ bitchmade\ mutha\ fuckin\ computer\ nerds\ come\ on\ here\ talkin\ shyt\ \nlike\ u\ hard\ get\ da\ infos\ straight..da\ man\ dat\ did\ my\ site\ TOLD\ ME\ STRAIGHT\ \nOUT\ he\ did\ juice's\ site\ so\ b4\ u\ call\ me\ a\ fuckin\ biter\ get\ all\ your\ facts\ on\ \nda\ table\ u\ ignorant\ ass\ mutha\ fuckaz!!!if\ I\ MADE\ DA\ SITE\ u\ would\ have\ every\ \nright\ to\ call\ me\ a\ biter...i\ didnt\ do\ shit\ to\ dat\ site..da\ man\ contacted\ \nme..showed\ me\ juices\ site\ and\ said\ he\ did\ it...and\ then\ did\ mine\ and\ didnt\ \neven\ finish\ it\ so\ fuck\ all\ yall\ hatein\ ass\ mutha\ fuckaz!!if\ yall\ wana\ run\ \nlip\ do\ it\ face\ to\ face\ fuck\ dis\ computer\ shit..HOLLA!!\n%\nI've\ been\ into\ just\ about\ every\ car\ scene,\ truck\ scene,\ motorcycle\ scene\ and\ \nyes\ the\ import\ scene\ is\ the\ worst.\ Main\ reason\ is\ because\ we\ got\ a\ bunch\ of\ \nlittle\ pricks\ who\ drive\ around\ and\ think\ they're\ badasses\ cause\ they\ gots\ a\ \nbody\ kit\ y0\ and\ in\ all\ reality\ I\ could\ take\ on\ 10\ of\ them\ at\ the\ same\ time\ \nand\ make\ em\ cry.\ I'm\ getting\ to\ the\ point\ to\ where\ I\ don't\ even\ wanna\ go\ to\ \ncar\ meets\ anymore\ cause\ of\ all\ the\ stupid\ bullshit\ thats\ goes\ on\ and\ that\ I\ \nget\ associated\ with\ it\ cause\ I\ drive\ an\ \"import\".\ I'm\ about\ ready\ to\ go\ buy\ \nanother\ 5.0\ or\ camaro\ and\ be\ done\ with\ imports\ all\ together\ just\ so\ I'm\ NOT\ \nassociated\ with\ all\ these\ fucking\ morons\ driving\ around\ now.\ I\ drive\ my\ \nGrand\ Cherokee\ all\ over\ the\ place\ and\ I\ always\ have\ other\ Jeep\ owners\ wave\ \nat\ me.\n%\ntake\ this\ short\ quiz\ to\ see\ if\ u\ qualify\ to\ meet\ me:\ ugly?\ stupid?\ mean?\ \nghetto?\ non\ english\ speaking?\ not\ from\ ohio?\ if\ u\ answer\ yes\ to\ any\ of\ the\ \nabove,\ don't\ click\ to\ meet\ me\ cuz\ i\ hate\ all\ of\ the\ above\ :)\n%\nIt's\ not\ so\ much\ that\ I\ hate\ anime,\ well\ I\ do\ its\ utter\ shit,\ but\ that's\ not\ \ntoo\ bad\ because\ the\ world\ would\ be\ boring\ if\ we\ all\ liked\ the\ same\ thing.\ \nAnyway\ what\ really\ gets\ to\ me\ is\ anime\ fans\ or\ 'otakus'\ as\ they\ have\ dubbed\ \nthemselves.\ They\ think\ that\ liking\ anime\ makes\ them\ superior\ to\ those\ who\ \ndon't,\ they\ think\ that\ if\ someone\ does\ not\ like\ anime\ it\ means\ they\ are\ too\ \nstupid\ to\ understand\ it\ and\ they\ worship\ Japan.\ There\ ongoing\ obsession\ with\ \nJapan\ makes\ me\ want\ to\ kill\ myself,\ they\ all\ want\ to\ learn\ japanese\ and\ move\ \nto\ Japan\ to\ be\ an\ anime\ artist.\ They\ insist\ on\ speaking\ in\ broken\ Japanese\ \nall\ the\ time,\ trying\ to\ show\ off\ to\ there\ fellow\ anime\ losers\ just\ how\ much\ \nthey\ know\ and\ they\ get\ offended\ if\ you\ say\ a\ slight\ word\ against\ Japan.\ They\ \nalso\ have\ an\ obsessin\ with\ gay\ people\ and\ yell\ and\ scream\ whenever\ they\ see\ \none,\ they\ say\ that\ gay\ people\ should\ be\ treated\ the\ same\ as\ straight\ people\ \nyet\ i\ don't\ see\ then\ shout\ and\ scream\ when\ they\ see\ a\ straight\ couple\ do\ \nyou?\ No,\ they\ only\ reason\ they\ love\ gay\ people\ is\ becasue\ they\ are\ desperate\ \nto\ show\ the\ world\ how\ openmided\ they\ are\ and\ they\ just\ wait\ for\ someone\ to\ \nsomething\ like\ 'thats\ so\ gay'\ so\ that\ they\ have\ have\ a\ 3\ hour\ discussion\ \nabout\ it.I\ myself\ don't\ have\ anything\ against\ gays\ but\ to\ be\ honest\ i\ don't\ \nreally\ think\ about\ it.\ I\ could\ go\ on\ for\ hours\ but\ I\ can't\ be\ botherd\ just\ \nknow\ one\ thing\ Anime\ couldn't\ be\ crapper\ if\ it\ tried.\n%\nI\ don't\ know\ about\ you\ guys,\ but\ knowing\ that\ gay\ marriage\ exists\ here\ now\ \nhas\ hurt\ marriage.\ Whenever\ I\ try\ and\ fuck\ my\ wife,\ all\ I\ can\ think\ about\ is\ \ntwo\ sweaty,\ heaving\ male\ bodies\ joined\ together\ in\ government\ sanctioned\ \ndisgusting\ decadent\ man\ sex\ with\ large\ calloused\ hands\ grasping\ and\ moist\ \ngasping\ lips\ joined\ with\ giant\ throbbing\ cocks\ ohh\ yeah\n%\nNO\ I\ SAY\ PEOPLE\ LIKE\ YOU\ HAVE\ SMALL\ DICKS\ COS\ YOU\ DO\ BUTT\ MUNCH\ YOU\ DONT\ \nEVEN\ HAVE\ A\ NAME\ YOU\ SAD\ FUCK\ PISS\ OFF\ NO\ ONE\ WANTS\ YOU\ HERE\ ON\ THE\ PLACE\ OR\ \nIN\ THE\ WORLD\ YOU\ FUCKING\ JEW\ NERD\ HITLER\ SHOULD\ HAVE\ KILLED\ YOU\ FUCKING\ ASS\ \nYEARS\ AGO\ AND\ THE\ REASON\ YOUR\ PISSED\ OFF\ IS\ COS\ THE\ TRUTH\ HURTS\ YOU\ WHY\ DONT\ \nYOU\ GO\ BACK\ TO\ WEARING\ A\ PINK\ DRESS\ AND\ BEING\ FUCKED\ BY\ YOUR\ UNCLE\ YOU\ \nLIITLE\ DRAG\ QUEEN\ GO\ TAKE\ YOUR\ FAGGOT\ SELF\ AND\ JUMP\ OFF\ A\ CLIFF\ SMARTGIRL\ IS\ \nBETTER\ THEN\ YOU\ WILL\ EVER\ BE\ YOU\ ARE\ NOTHING\ AND\ FOREVER\ BE\ NOTHING\ LATER\ \nGEEK\n%\nI,\ for\ one,\ feel\ that\ Fox\ TV\ has\ gone\ too\ far\ with\ their\ programming\ \nexcesses.\ Have\ you\ seen\ their\ new\ show,\ the\ X-Files?\ It's\ simply\ ludicrous!\ \nI\ mean,\ demonic\ possession?\ Aliens?\ Come\ on,\ that's\ ridiculous!\ But\ the\ \nworst\ thing\ is\ that\ it\ implies\ our\ government\ lies\ to\ us!\ Hey,\ Sergeant\ \nMuldower:\ This\ is\ America.\ Love\ it,\ or\ leave\ it!\n%\nHAHAHAHAHA\ FOOL\ YOU\ COUNTRY\ WAS\ FOR\ CONVICTS\ TO\ THEY\ ONLY\ THING\ THAT\ WAS\ \nDIFFERENT\ IS\ ALL\ YOU\ FUCKS\ HAD\ IT\ SO\ BAD\ YOU\ GOT\ CRANKY\ AND\ HAD\ A\ WAR\ OF\ \nINDEPENCE\ COS\ THE\ BRITISH\ WERE\ ABUSING\ YOUR\ ASSES\ HEY\ AND\ YOUR\ COUNTRYS\ A\ \nREST\ ROOM\ FOR\ MEXICANS\ LEAST\ I\ DO\ SOMETHING\ ABOUT\ OUR\ PROBLEM\ WHAT\ DO\ YOU\ DO\ \nABOUT\ MEXICANS\ THATS\ RIGHT\ NOTHING\ COS\ YOUR\ A\ CHICKEN\ SHIT\ WHAT\ DO\ YOU\ CARE\ \nIF\ YOUR\ WOMEN\ LOOK\ GOOD\ YOUR\ GAY\ AND\ THATS\ WHY\ WE\ ARE\ NOT\ ALL\ FAT\ CO\n%\nfor\ all\ of\ you\ non\ believers.\ please\ just\ answer\ 1\ question\ 4\ me.\ If\ God\ \ndidnt\ exist\ then\ how\ did\ the\ earth\ get\ here.You\ will\ probably\ come\ up\ with\ \nsome\ answer\ like\ ,\ a\ bunch\ ef\ gas\ and\ dust\ and\ a\ star\ formed\ the\ earth.\ but\ \nif\ all\ that\ is\ true\ then\ hoe\ did\ that\ gas\ and\ dust\ get\ here.\ i\ am\ a\ \nChristain\ and\ i\ encurage\ you\ all\ to\ be\ 1\ aswell.\ You\ will\ be\ much\ happie,\ \ntake\ it\ from\ a\ kid\ that\ knows\n%\nASIANS\ FUCKING\ SUCK\ THERE\ EVERY\ WHERE\ DOWN\ IN\ SYDNEY\ FUCKING\ OVEL\ EYED\ \nGOOKS.\ WENT\ DOWN\ TO\ CHINA\ TOWN\ 2\ WEEKS\ AGO\ BASHED\ A\ COUPLE\ OF\ THE\ \nDICKHEADS.THE\ PROBLEM\ IS\ THEY\ BREED\ LIKE\ RABBITS\ THEY\ JUST\ GO\ ROUND\ FUCKING,\ \nSPITTING\ OUT\ BABYS\ AND\ SPREADING\ THEIR\ CHICKEN\ FLU\ AROUND\ DAMN\ FILTHY\ \nASIANS.\ 88\ HAIL\ HITLER\ SKINHEADS\ FOREVER\n%\nTO\ THAT\ PISS\ ANT\ COWARD\ FUCK\ COS\ I'M\ NOT\ A\ PATRIOTIC\ AMERICAN\ YOU\ NIGGER\ \nLOVER\ I'M\ A\ PATRIOT\ TO\ WHITE\ SUPREMACY\ YOU\ SMELLY\ TURD.\ YEAH\ AND\ I'D\ LIKE\ TO\ \nSEE\ YOU\ TRY\ AND\ KILL\ ME\ YOU\ CANDY\ ASS\ FUCK\ WHAT\ ARE\ YOU\ GONNA\ DO\ BEAT\ ME\ TO\ \nDEATH\ WITH\ YOUR\ HANDBAG.\ I'M\ A\ SKINHEAD\ YOU\ FOOL\ I'VE\ HAD\ MORE\ FIGHTS\ THEN\ \nYOU'VE\ HAD\ HOT\ DINNERS.\ STUPID\ FAG\ SO\ SHUT\ THE\ FUCK\ UP\ OR\ I'LL\ PUT\ YOU\ TO\ \nWORK\ ON\ MY\ COTTON\ FARM\n%\nFUCK\ YOU\ FATSO\ YEAH\ YOU\ CAN\ TALK\ SHIT\ BEHIND\ YOU\ COMPUTER\ YOU\ FAT\ NERD.\ IF\ I\ \nEVER\ SEE\ YOU\ IN\ THE\ STREET\ I'M\ GONNA\ STAB\ YOU\ IN\ THE\ FACE\ WITH\ MY\ HITLER\ \nYOUTH\ KNIFE\ YOU\ STUPID\ CHEESEBURGER\ CHEEKS\ THEN\ YOU'LL\ FALL\ TO\ THR\ GROUND\ \nAND\ CRY\ LIKE\ A\ LITTLE\ BITCH\ STUPID\ LITTLE\ RICH\ VAG\ YOU\ DUMBASS\ SKINHEADS\ \nCOME\ FROM\ MANY\ DIFFERNT\ BACKGROUNDS\ RICH,\ POOR,\ MIDDLE\ CLASS\ ALTHO\ I\ \nWOULDN'T\ ACCEPT\ A\ PANSY\ ASS\ SKIRT\ LIKE\ YOU\ INTO\ MY\ GANG\n%\nfuck\ asians\ I\ am\ from\ flushing\ queens\ newyork\ and\ I'm\ pissed\ the\ fuck\ off\ \nbecause\ ugly\ inferior\ orientals\ are\ taking\ over\ my\ home\ town\ of\ flushing\ \nputting\ up\ prices\ on\ houses\ and\ speaking\ there\ ugly\ chinese\ languages.\ \norientals\ ARE\ not\ smart\ that's\ a\ fucking\ myth.\ orientals\ will\ NEVER\ be\ \nwhite.\ p.s.\ DROP\ DEAD\ INFERIOR\ ORIENTALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\n%\nas\ far\ as\ i\ can\ tell,\ mexico\ sucks.\ \ i've\ never\ been\ there,\ but\ i\ have\ \nmexican\ neighbors.\ \ they\ suck.\ \ 15\ of\ them\ live\ in\ one\ house.\ \ only\ one\ of\ \nthem\ has\ a\ job.\ \ the\ rest\ collect\ welfare.\ \ one\ of\ them\ was\ even\ arrested\ \nfor\ molesting\ a\ 12\ year\ old\ girl.\ \ funny\ thing\ is,\ i\ took\ a\ dump\ on\ their\ \nporch.\ \ i'm\ pretty\ sure\ i\ saw\ one\ of\ them\ watching\ me.\ \ i\ wiped\ my\ ass\ with\ \ntheir\ news\ paper\ and\ jammed\ it\ in\ the\ mailbox.\ \ they\ suck\ anyways.\ \ which\ is\ \nwhy\ mexico\ sucks.\n%\ncongratulations\ on\ getting\ modded\ up\ you\ simpering\ idiot!\ maybe\ with\ all\ \nthat\ infamy\ you\ can\ convince\ a\ geek\ surgeon\ to\ remove\ some\ ribs\ so\ you\ can\ \nsuck\ on\ your\ own\ nub\ penis\ you\ fucking\ faggot!!!\n%\nI\ pray\ to\ the\ wonderful\ Lord\ Jesus\ Our\ Saviour\ and\ thank\ Lord\ God\ in\ the\ \nHighest\ Heaven\ for\ all\ the\ beauty\ and\ love\ in\ the\ world\ every\ time\ I\ fuck\ a\ \nnun\ with\ a\ glass-covered\ bone-carved\ \ dildo.\ Tear\ that\ dry\ and\ wrinkled\ \npunani!\n%\nObjectivism\ is\ nothing\ but\ selfishness\ with\ a\ philosophical\ bumper\ sticker\ \nstuck\ on\ its\ ass\ that\ somehow\ purports\ to\ elevate\ it\ to\ respectability.\ \nObjectivism\ will\ succeed\ as\ soon\ as\ human\ nature\ is\ purged\ of\ empathy,\ \nsympathy,\ love\ for\ one's\ family,\ love\ for\ one's\ community,\ love\ for\ humanity\ \nitself.\ In\ other\ words,\ never.The\ only\ people\ who\ take\ this\ shit\ seriously\ \nare\ earnest\ but\ naive\ college\ students\ with\ too\ much\ philosophy\ classes\ \nunder\ their\ belt\ and\ no\ real\ life\ experience,\ 40-something\ assholes\ behind\ \non\ their\ alimony\ payments,\ and\ nutjobs\ who\ horde\ guns\ in\ the\ woods\ and\ \nconsider\ themselves\ to\ be\ part\ of\ the\ minutement\ militia,\ 2\ centuries\ \nhence.Objectivism\ has\ as\ much\ a\ tenuous\ hold\ on\ reality\ as\ the\ KKK\ and\ \nneonazi\ skinheads.\ They\ deserve\ our\ attention\ as\ much\ as\ the\ mating\ habits\ \nof\ dung\ beetles.\ Oh\ yeah,\ I\ forgot,\ Ayn\ Rand\ is\ selfish\ racist\ classist\ \nelitist\ bitch.\ Am\ I\ making\ an\ impression\ on\ you\ here,\ you\ fruitcakes?Stay\ in\ \nthe\ woods\ and\ spout\ your\ ignorant\ mumbo-jumbo,\ the\ real\ world\ doesn't\ need\ \nyou.\ we'll\ take\ your\ selfish\ asocial\ bullshit\ seriously\ when\ hell\ freezes\ \nover.\n%\nI\ work\ at\ a\ University\ IT\ helpdesk,\ and\ after\ far\ too\ many\ malware\ problems\ \nfrom\ far\ too\ many\ dumb\ lusers\ (and\ many\ of\ them\ repeat\ visits),\ I've\ adopted\ \na\ new\ policy.If\ a\ student\ or\ member\ of\ faculty\ comes\ in\ with\ malware\ \nproblems\ for\ the\ first\ time,\ I\ fix\ it\ for\ them\ and\ I\ give\ them\ a\ Gentoo\ \nLinux\ install\ CD\ to\ go\ away\ with.\ If\ they\ come\ back\ with\ viruses/spyware\ a\ \nsecond\ time,\ I\ tell\ the\ luser\ to\ stop\ bothering\ me,\ and\ that\ I\ gave\ them\ the\ \nsolution\ to\ install\ last\ time.\ Linux\ is\ an\ OS\ immune\ to\ these\ kinds\ of\ \nproblems.\n%\nAnyone\ think\ jews\ are\ really\ hot?\ Especially\ rabbis!\ Those\ greasy\ curls\ send\ \nme\ wild.Sadly\ there's\ no\ jews\ in\ my\ region\ of\ the\ desert,\ so\ camels\ have\ to\ \ndo.\n%\nmexicans\ are\ lazy??\ umm\ no\ we\ are\ theopposite\ of\ lazy.\ we\ are\ taking\ \noverthis\ country\ and\ you\ white\ americans\ andblack\ americans\ people\ are\ not\ \ndoinganything\ about\ it.all\ yall\ do\ is\ say\"fuking\ wetbacks\ go\ back\ to\ \nhomecountry\"\ or\ \"you\ taking\ our\ jobs,,\ nowwe\ are\ unemployed\"\ you\ know\ what\ \nboo\ hooyou\ call\ us\ stupid\ or\ whatever,\ butatleast\ we\ know\ how\ to\ get\ a\ \njob.if\ youask\ me\ you\ americans\ are\ the\ lazy\ people.\n%\nWomen\ are\ too\ fragile.\ \ The\ mere\ suggestion\ of\ being\ able\ to\ play\ a\ female\ \ncharacter\ in\ Doom\ 3\ is\ laughable.\ Well,\ I\ guess\ you\ could\ play\ as\ a\ maid\ or\ \ncook.\ At\ least\ that\ would\ be\ just\ about\ as\ boring\ as\ the\ current\ \nstoryline.It\ has\ been\ proven\ in\ many\ scientific\ studies\ that\ women\ are\ \ninferior\ to\ men.\ This\ is\ why\ women\ are\ deservingly\ payed\ less\ for\ doing\ the\ \nsame\ work\ as\ a\ man.\ The\ only\ valuable\ skills\ a\ woman\ can\ ever\ hope\ to\ learn\ \nare\ cooking\ and\ cleaning.\ Men\ are\ too\ busy\ with\ important\ business\ dealings\ \nto\ worry\ about\ cooking\ and\ cleaning\ for\ themselves.History\ is\ littered\ with\ \nevidence\ of\ this.\ For\ instance,\ Joan\ of\ Arc\ led\ an\ army\ on\ the\ battlefield,\ \nonly\ to\ be\ subsequently\ raped,\ tortured,\ and\ killed.\ In\ the\ Bible\ (the\ word\ \nof\ God),\ Eve\ was\ tricked\ into\ eating\ the\ forbidden\ fruit\ because\ she\ was\ \nweak-minded.\ Many\ men\ said\ that\ a\ woman\ could\ never\ fly\ around\ the\ world\ \nalone.\ Amelia\ Earhart\ proved\ they\ were\ right.At\ least\ the\ countries\ in\ the\ \nMiddle\ East\ have\ their\ priorities\ straight.\ Their\ women\ are\ not\ allowed\ to\ \ngo\ to\ school,\ hold\ jobs,\ and\ in\ some\ cases\ they\ are\ not\ even\ allowed\ outside\ \nwithout\ a\ male\ escort.\ That's\ how\ it\ should\ be\ here.\ Women\ should\ be\ treated\ \nas\ property\ of\ men.\ In\ the\ future,\ I\ think\ there\ will\ no\ longer\ be\ printed\ \nor\ coined\ currency.\ Instead,\ we\ will\ walk\ the\ streets\ with\ a\ couple\ women\ \naround\ our\ arms\ and\ trade\ them\ for\ various\ goods\ and\ services.In\ conclusion,\ \ngo\ the\ kitchen\ and\ make\ me\ a\ sandwich.\n%\nfuck\ all\ this\ elexctronic\ shit.\ Give\ me\ a\ typewriter,\ a\ pushbutton\ \ntelephone,\ and\ a\ bank\ of\ teletype\ machines\ with\ yellow\ paper.\ Then\ you\ could\ \nmake\ sense\ of\ this\ crap\n%\nNow,\ if\ i\ were\ ever\ to\ meet\ one\ of\ you\ people\ who\ flames\ me\ in\ real\ life,\ \nlet's\ just\ say\ thine\ attitude\ might\ change\ a\ little.\ Ive\ studied\ tae\ kwon\ do\ \nfor\ 4\ years,\ and\ studied\ kung\ fu\ as\ a\ young\ child.\ I\ am\ going\ to\ take\ up\ \njudo\ soon,\ and\ also\ casually\ jeet\ kune\ do.\ I\ lift\ weights\ every\ day,\ and\ \nhave\ been\ in\ a\ fight\ before,\ and\ won.\ That's\ the\ thing,\ that\ behind\ the\ \ninternet\ you\ can\ say\ whatever\ you\ like\ to\ me,\ but\ you\ know\ what?\ Im\ secure\ \nin\ the\ fact\ that\ i\ am\ popular\ in\ my\ circle\ of\ friends\ in\ real\ life,\ and\ dont\ \nneed\ to\ be\ accepted\ in\ some\ faggot\ forum\ to\ boost\ my\ self\ esteem,\ i\ am\ also\ \nconfident\ that\ i\ could\ kick\ most\ of\ thine\ asses\ in\ real\ life,\ so\ what\ do\ i\ \ncare?\n%\nOk\ Im\ New\ To\ This\ I\ Posted\ One\ Picture\ Of\ Me\ On\ My\ Website\ And\ Now\ Im\ Trying\ \nTo\ Post\ Another\ But\ All\ I\ Do\ Stay\ In\ The\ Log\ AndIt\ Says\ Uploading\ Picute\ May\ \nTake\ A\ Few\ Seconds\ Then\ I\ Check\ My\ Site\ And\ Nothing\ No\ Posts\ Or\ Anything\ \nSomeone\ Please\ Help\n%\nYes\ I\ do\ like\ the\ Muslim\ Girls\ also.\ They\ get\ me\ very\ JIHARD.\n%\nOne\ time\ at\ camp,\ well\ let\ me\ just\ get\ to\ the\ point,\ It\ was\ 3am\ and\ I\ heard\ \nthe\ cabin\ door\ open\ and\ all\ the\ other\ boys\ leave.\ Then\ all\ of\ a\ sudden\ i\ was\ \nbeing\ anally\ rampaged\ by\ Mr.Sunny,\ the\ counselor.\ He\ kept\ pillaging\ my\ raw\ \nanus\ until\ it\ bled.\ Needless\ to\ say,\ I\ still\ have\ a\ fear\ of\ campfires.\n%\nYou\ know\ what's\ keeping\ the\ black\ man\ black,\ in\ addition\ to\ that\ attitude,\ \nand\ that\ erstwhile\ PBS\ miniseries?\ It's\ affirmative\ action,\ fatty\ foods,\ \ncheap\ alcohol,\ tasteless\ jewelry,\ and\ Kwanzaa.\ And\ of\ course,\ the\ worst\ \nculprit.\ Niggers.\n%\nOK\ WELL\ ONE\ TIME\ I\ WAS\ DRIVING\ A\ STOLEN\ POLICE\ CAR\ AND\ I\ HAD\ A\ SYRINGE\ \nHANGING\ OUT\ OF\ MY\ NECK\ VEIN\ AND\ I\ HAD\ A\ FUCKING\ HOOKAH\ IN\ MY\ LAP\ AND\ 3\ \nDISMEMBERED\ CORPSES\ IN\ THE\ PASSENGER\ SEAT\ AND\ I\ WAS\ BASSING\ AND\ I\ TOTALLY\ \nRAMPED\ MY\ CAR\ AND\ BLEW\ UP\ THE\ SPACE\ SHUTTLE\ CHALLENGER\n%\nby\ the\ way\ i\ can'\ tsee\ a\ word\ your\ saying\ so\ if\ you're\ laughing\ at\ your\ own\ \ncomments\ in\ vain\ mr.\ wantin\ to\ complain\ about\ an\ ego\ mother\ fucker,\ then\ \nyou're\ really\ truly\ laughing\ at\ your\ very\ own\ comments\ in\ vain\ of\ YOU\n%\nMuslim\ babes\ turn\ me\ on.\ Those\ one's\ who\ dress\ entierly\ in\ a\ black\ bedsheet\ \nhead\ to\ toe.\ I\ want\ to\ squirt\ right\ into\ the\ eye-slot.\n%\nFact:\ The\ word\ \"mizer\",\ traditionally\ meaning\ a\ one\ who\ is\ excessively\ \nfrugal,\ was\ originally\ short\ for\ \"sodomizer\".\ This\ is\ because\ in\ the\ 18th\ \ncentury\ it\ was\ routine,\ and\ even\ expected,\ that\ the\ Comptroller\ of\ a\ \nbusiness\ would\ punish\ wastefulness\ by\ engaging\ in\ mandatory\ buggery.\n%\nI\ like\ terrorists\ who\ use\ bombs,\ especially\ nailbombs.\ And\ let\ me\ tell\ you\ \nwhy.\ I\ was\ once\ a\ victim\ of\ a\ nailbomb\ attack\ and\ a\ searing\ white-hot\ nail\ \nhappened\ to\ go\ right\ up\ my\ japseye,\ welding\ itself\ to\ flesh.\ It\ was\ so\ good.\n%\nThe\ Jerk-Off\ Walk\ :\ \ Drop\ that\ trau\ right\ to\ your\ feet.\ \ Thrust\ your\ hips\ \nand\ beat\ your\ meat.\ \ Squelch\ and\ splurt\ go\ your\ oily\ cock.\ \ Leave\ the\ house\ \nfor\ a\ jerk-off\ walk.\ \ Strolling\ the\ streets\ while\ you're\ slapping\ your\ dong.\ \n\ It\ feels\ so\ good\ it\ can't\ be\ wrong.\ Here\ comes\ your\ neighbor,\ eyes\ askew.\ \ \nYou\ saunter\ on\ up\ and\ ask,\ What's\ new?\ \ A\ hand\ on\ your\ shaft\ and\ a\ hand\ \noutstretched,\ your\ neighbor\ made\ a\ gagging\ sound\ and\ promptly\ retched.\ Since\ \nwhen\ is\ a\ stroke\ against\ the\ law?\ \ You\ say\ as\ you\ start\ to\ fiddle\ with\ her\ \nbra.\ \ And\ there\ you\ start,\ right\ on\ the\ sidewalk.\ \ The\ morning\ rape's\ begun,\ \nother\ pedestrians\ gawk.\ She\ screams\ and\ hollers\ so\ you\ punch\ her\ face.\ \ Who\ \ncares\ if\ she\ dies?\ She's\ of\ the\ nigger\ race!\ \ Your\ cock\ already\ stiff\ begins\ \nto\ invade,\ and\ you\ twist\ nips\ proper\ like\ Marquis\ de\ Sade!\ Pullin\ out\ quick,\ \nand\ you\ spurt\ in\ her\ eye.\ \ Standing\ and\ you\ kick,\ right\ between\ the\ thighs.\ \ \nThe\ bitch\ is\ all\ mangled\ and\ your\ cum\ is\ all\ spent.\ \ Your\ pants,\ at\ the\ \napartment,\ your\ soft\ cock:\ bent.\ Now\ the\ task\ is\ done\ and\ it's\ time\ to\ head\ \nback.\ \ Your\ tired\ wang\ hangs\ like\ a\ rope\ so\ slack.\ \ The\ nigger\ curled\ up\ in\ \na\ ball\ so\ tight,\ you\ smile\ as\ you\ think:\ This\ shit's\ done\ right.\ I\ hope\ you\ \nenjoyed\ my\ anthem\ true.\ \ Now\ best\ of\ luck\ and\ fortune,\ love,\ Mega\ Man\ II\n%\n\"LOCUSTS\ INVADE\ HOLY\ LAND...\"\ was\ a\ deceiving\ web\ link.\ \ When\ I\ first\ saw\ \nit,\ I\ thought\ to\ myself:\ \"Whoa\ -\ Locusts\ in\ Vatican\ City?\ \ I've\ got\ to\ check\ \nthis\ out!\"\ \ Unfortunately\ the\ \"Holy\ Land\"\ described\ in\ the\ link\ described\ -\ \nget\ this\ -\ Israel.\ \ Is\ there\ nothing\ those\ cursed\ jews\ won't\ do\ to\ get\ \nattention?\n%\nGuys,\ the\ funniest\ thing\ about\ linux\ is\ that\ the\ average\ linux\ user\ spends\ \nfrom\ 50-75%\ of\ his\ (and\ I\ use\ the\ pronoun\ literally,\ because\ let's\ face\ it\;\ \nwomen\ just\ have\ more\ common\ sense)\ computing\ time\ configuring\ and\ \ntroubleshooting\ his\ operating\ system\ just\ to\ get\ it\ to\ run.\ Come\ on\ you\ \ndolts.\ I\ know\ you're\ short\ a\ chromosome\ but\ does\ it\ take\ a\ vagina\ to\ figure\ \nout\ that\ this\ is\ just\ stupid\ ?\ Do\ yourself\ a\ favor,\ put\ on\ a\ clean\ shirt,\ \nget\ a\ copy\ of\ windows\ xp,\ and\ spend\ that\ time\ at\ the\ gym\ instead\ of\ \ncompiling\ your\ kernel\ endlessly.\ You'd\ be\ surprised\ how\ many\ women\ don't\ \nnotice\ your\ complete\ lack\ of\ social\ skills!\n%\nThe\ Chub\ Chant:\ Rub\ a\ Dub\ Chubs\ Three\ Plumpers\ in\ Tubs\ -\ Watch\ them\ Squirm\ \nas\ they\ Wash\ Their\ Nubs\ -\ Delight\ in\ the\ Sight\ of\ their\ Big\ Juicy\ Butts\ -\ \nAnd\ the\ Sudzy\ Soap\ loving\ Slippery\ Fat\ Sluts\ -\ Cum\ Take\ a\ Dip\ in\ Our\ Super\ \nSized\ Tub\ -\ And\ Sing\ with\ us\ Rubba\ Dub\ Chub.\n%\nMy\ favorite\ episode\ of\ Family\ Matters\ was\ when\ Steve\ locked\ Laura\ up\ as\ a\ \njoke.\ He\ stood\ near\ the\ vault\ excited\ at\ what\ he\ had\ done.\ He\ pressed\ his\ \ncheek\ against\ the\ metal,\ feeling\ the\ coolness\ and\ the\ tiny\ thumps\ on\ the\ \ndoor\ as\ Laura\ pounded\ for\ her\ life.\ Laura's\ screams\ were\ deep\ and\ guttural.\ \nSteve\ felt\ their\ vibration\ against\ his\ groin\ as\ he\ pressed\ against\ the\ door.\ \nAroused\ by\ the\ power\ of\ life\ and\ death,\ he\ exposed\ himself\ and\ masturbated\ \nas\ he\ listened\ to\ Laura's\ screams.\ His\ eyes\ glazed\ in\ ecstasy\ as\ he\ chewed\ \non\ his\ lower\ lip\ and\ jerked\ vigorously\ to\ his\ ultimate\ climax.\n%\nHey\ guys,\ did\ you\ ever\ consider\ what\ would\ happen\ if\ Star\ Trek\ perchance\ \nwaged\ war\ with\ Star\ Wars?\ Who\ do\ you\ think\ might\ win\ such\ a\ conflict\ and\ why?\n%\nwhy\ dont\ you\ install\ a\ real\ OS\ and\ make\ some\ room\ in\ your\ head\ using\ the\ \nspace\ you\ have\ to\ devote\ to\ remembering\ the\ 100000\ ways\ to\ parse\ a\ text\ file\ \nin\ linux\ (with\ zero\ ways\ to\ get\ any\ actual\ work\ done)\n%\nthis\ ignore\ list\ is\ for\ losers,\ boozers,\ those\ boring\ and\ self-whoring\ and\ \nfolks\ unwilling\ to\ represent\ memories\ of\ Tupac\ and\ keep\ the\ dream\ of\ the\ \nBlack\ Planet\ alive.\n%\nI\ have\ looked\ at\ much\ gay\ porno\ and\ gotten\ no\ erections\ or\ arousal.\ I\ find\ \nit\ amusing.\ Gay\ culture\ on\ a\ whole\ I\ find\ grand,\ gays\ are\ often\ snobbish\ and\ \nexcellent\ physical\ specimens\ which\ I\ find\ very\ admirable.\n%\nApparently\ everyone\ is\ up\ in\ arms\ about\ this\ new\ racist\ Six\ Flags\ Atlanta\ \nride,\ they\ say\ it\ negatively\ portrays\ african\ americans.\ I\ guess\ the\ name\ is\ \na\ little\ bit\ insensitive.\ They\ call\ it\ the\ 'Nigger\ Experience'\ and\ the\ ride\ \nis:\ when\ you\ get\ in\ the\ parking\ lot\ at\ the\ end\ of\ the\ day,\ you\ realize\ that\ \nniggers\ have\ broken\ into\ your\ car\ and\ stolen\ your\ stereo.\ I\ don't\ know\ what\ \nto\ think.\n%\nCoon\ Tune\ :\ There\ exists\ a\ people\ called\ the\ Shitskins.\ They're\ only\ fit\ for\ \nstuffing\ cotton\ into\ bins.\ You\ might\ say\ \"Hey\ thats\ crass!\"\ ,\ but\ you\ can\ \nshove\ it\ in\ your\ nigger\ lovin'\ ass.\ I\ do\ believe\ that\ God\ set\ it\ up\ this\ \nway,\ slaves\ for\ working,and\ a\ partner\ with\ which\ to\ be\ gay.\ Thats\ right,\ you\ \nheard\ it\ here\ first,\ I\ love\ my\ gay\ nigger\ slaves,\ signed\ Fred\ Durst\n%\nKING\ GOLDI\ SIGNS\ WITH\ DICKSUCKERS\ INC\ and\ NOW\ LOOKING\ TO\ SIGN\ ALSO\ WITH\ \nFAGGOTS\ SOUTH!!!!!!\ PLAYA\ FLY\ IS\ LOOKING\ TO\ SIGN\ WITH\ SEMENLOVERS!...MEMPHIS\ \nNYGGAZ\ BOUT\ TO\ COME\ OUTA\ THE\ CLOSET..THIS\ IS\ WHAT\ THE\ INDUSTRY\ NEED\ FROM\ THE\ \nSOUTH...REAL\ FAGGOTS!\n%\nGotta\ Crap\ Rap:\ Poo\ knockin\ on\ the\ door,\ My\ rectum\ can't\ hold\ it\ no\ more.\ \ I\ \nfirmly\ clench\ to\ keep\ it\ inside,\ but\ there's\ no\ defense\ for\ this\ poopy\ tide.\ \n\ My\ tighty\ whities\ stained\ with\ ass\ sweat,\ my\ quivering\ asshole\ hasn't\ given\ \nin\ yet.\ Holy\ shit\ I\ just\ felt\ a\ spurt,\ this\ is\ a\ disaster\ I\ could\ not\ avert.\n%\nFUCK\ U!!!!!\ I\ WILL\ FIND\ U\ AND\ KILL\ U\ A\ HUNDRED\ TIMES\ SEVEN!!!!!\ U\ CAN\ COUNT\ \nTHE\ DAYS\ ON\ UR\ HANDS\ THAT\ U\ HAVE\ TO\ LIVE\ BEFORE\ I\ SLAY\ YOU\ IN\ THE\ STREETS\ \nAND\ BUTCHER\ U\ LIKE\ A\ CATTLE!!!!!!\ NO\ ONE\ DARES\ TO\ DO\ DISGRACE\ ME\ AS\ U\ \nHAVE!!!!\ WATCH\ UR\ BACK,\ FOR\ I\ COME\ WITH\ MURDER\ ON\ MY\ BREATH!!!!!!\n%\nPut\ on\ your\ party\ hats,\ its\ four\ more\ years\ of\ no\ legal\ pot,\ no\ stem\ cells,\ \nabandoning\ abortion,\ tons\ o'\ guns,\ throat\ choking\ pollution,\ Big\ Brother\ \nmonitoring\ your\ every\ internet\ move,\ and\ best\ of\ all\ --\ thousands\ more\ of\ \nyour\ copatriots\ will\ die\ needlessly\ on\ foreign\ soil!\n%\nI\ can't\ believe\ John\ Kerry\ just\ took\ a\ shit\ in\ his\ power\ suit\ at\ the\ podium.\ \nWhat\ the\ fuck?\ He\ can't\ walk\ off\ and\ take\ it\ to\ the\ portalet,\ because\ he's\ \nstanding\ in\ feces-filled\ underwear\ at\ this\ very\ moment.\ Any\ change\ in\ his\ \nstanding\ position\ will\ send\ his\ poo\ spilling\ down\ his\ legs\ and\ into\ view\ of\ \nevery\ voter\ within\ 30\ feet\ of\ him.\ There\ is\ no\ way\ he\ can\ play\ this\ off\ as\ a\ \nfart.\ It\ doesn't\ help\ at\ all\ that\ he's\ been\ on\ the\ trail\ for\ 3\ months.\ He\ \ncan\ hardly\ stand\ up\ straight!\ How\ is\ he\ possibly\ going\ to\ explain\ this\ to\ \nhis\ wife\ Theresa\ Heinz-Kerry\ when\ she\ comes\ back\ from\ getting\ ketchup\ to\ ask\ \nhim\ what\ the\ fuck\ he\ just\ did\ in\ the\ presence\ of\ his\ supporters?\ She'll\ make\ \nhim\ drop\ trau\ in\ front\ of\ everyone\ again.\ There\ it\ is.\ The\ undecided\ voter\ \nstanding\ below\ the\ podium\ to\ the\ right\ of\ him\ just\ asked\ if\ anyone\ could\ \nsmell\ 'that'.\ He's\ gotta\ go.\n%\nI've\ gone\ and\ done\ it\ again.\ \ After\ shitting\ on\ the\ toilet\ seat\ I\ took\ a\ dab\ \nof\ crap\ and\ worked\ it\ into\ my\ hair.\ \ Now\ my\ bald\ spot\ is\ a\ uniform\ brown\ \nalong\ with\ the\ rest\ of\ my\ hair.\ \ I\ mussed\ up\ my\ hair\ enough\ for\ it\ to\ look\ \nplausible.\ \ I'm\ back\ in\ the\ conference\ room\ now\ and\ no\ one\ is\ willing\ to\ \nmeet\ my\ gaze.\ \ I\ have\ to\ clench\ my\ stomach\ to\ keep\ from\ vomiting.\ \ My\ penis\ \nthrobs\ with\ an\ intense\ erection.\n%\nSitting\ at\ the\ beach\ takin'\ a\ nap\ ,\ didnt\ notice\ my\ bowels,\ now\ I've\ taken\ a\ \ncrap.\ Sitting\ in\ the\ diarrhea,\ think\ I\ should\ be\ sayin'\ \"Mama\ Mia!\"\ Can't\ \ntake\ it\ to\ the\ ocean,\ too\ fast\ a\ motion,\ poo\ would\ spill\ out\ in\ a\ commotion.\ \nToo\ stinky\ to\ be\ a\ fart,\ I\ cant\ stop\ my\ pounding\ heart.\ Drugs\ have\ spun\ me\ \nout\ for\ days,\ I'm\ in\ such\ a\ haze,\ can't\ explain\ it\ to\ my\ wife\ ,\ my\ life\ is\ a\ \nmaze.\ Pooped\ in\ front\ of\ my\ kids,\ its\ worse\ than\ watching\ shitty\ itty\ bitty\ \ntitty\ vidz.\ On\ her\ command\ my\ trau\ I'll\ be\ droppin'\ ,\ my\ poo\ will\ be\ a\ \nfloppin'.\ Beachgoers\ asking\ if\ I\ could\ smell\ \"that\"\ ,\ Its\ just\ my\ poop,\ \nsmooshed\ in\ between\ my\ ass\ fat.\ Word.\n%\nAdolf\ Hitler,\ the\ Fuhrer\ himself,\ burst\ into\ my\ room\ one\ eve\ and\ whisked\ me\ \naway\ on\ a\ dream\ vacation\ to\ the\ Bahamas!\ We\ toured\ the\ isles\ together\ \narm-in-arm,\ and\ made\ love\ on\ the\ sandy\ beaches\ and\ in\ the\ clear,\ blue\ ocean.\ \nI\ fell\ in\ love\ with\ Hitler\ that\ weekend.\ Unfortunately\ when\ it\ was\ over,\ he\ \ndisappeared,\ but\ I\ know\ that\ one\ day,\ mein\ Liebe\ will\ return\ and\ take\ me\ \naway\ to\ his\ castle\ in\ the\ clouds.\n%\nDick\ Cheney\ has\ an\ odd\ habit.\ This\ bastard\ loves\ to\ masturbate\ using\ \nNickolodeon\ Gak.\ You\ know,\ that\ slimey\ stuff.\ Years\ ago,\ when\ he\ was\ a\ \ncongressman\ from\ Wyoming,\ he\ used\ to\ come\ into\ my\ toy\ store\ and\ buy\ my\ whole\ \nstock\ of\ Gak\ once\ a\ month.\ I\ never\ asked\ because\ hey,\ hes\ a\ congressman.\ But\ \none\ day\ I\ was\ walking\ around\ Casper\ and\ I\ saw\ Mr.\ Cheney\ in\ his\ car.\ He\ was\ \ntotally\ naked\ ,\ and\ was\ masturbating.\ His\ cock\ was\ covered\ entirely\ in\ this\ \nGak!\ He\ had\ 2\ empties\ in\ the\ passenger\ seat,\ and\ was\ really\ working\ his\ \ncock.\ I\ was\ sickened,\ and\ was\ about\ to\ leave\ when\ the\ future\ Vice\ President\ \nlowered\ the\ window\ and\ asked\ me\ to\ join\ him.\ I\ couldnt\ believe\ he\ said\ that.\ \nI\ jumped\ in\ the\ car\ and\ slurped\ his\ Gak-infused\ cock\ up\ ohh\ yeah\n%\nguys\ i\ am\ shitting\ in\ my\ pants\ at\ this\ very\ moment\ i\ can\ feel\ the\ turds\ \nsmashing\ against\ my\ white\ cotton\ briefs\ ohh\ yeah\n%\nAsimov,\ I\ want\ you\ to\ fuck\ me\ in\ the\ ass\ please.\ I\ am\ dying\ to\ be\ anally\ \naccosted.\ I\ want\ to\ be\ ravaged\ like\ hog.\ I\ want\ you\ to\ dress\ like\ a\ farmer\ \nand\ make\ me\ oink\ like\ a\ pig.\ I\ want\ an\ ass\ reaming\ like\ no\ other.\ Asimov,\ I\ \nhaven't\ had\ this\ kind\ of\ lust\ for\ you\ since\ the\ crazy\ college\ days.\ We\ used\ \nto\ butt\ fuck\ each\ other\ in\ the\ stalls.\ You\ always\ told\ me\ not\ to\ flush\ and\ \npreferred\ using\ my\ feces\ as\ opposed\ to\ real\ lubricant.\ ember\ your\ chocolatey\ \nmember,\ your\ manhood,\ draped\ in\ my\ feces.\ Man,\ Asimov,\ I\ remember.\ I\ was\ day\ \ndreaming,\ escaping\ into\ a\ nether\ world\ where\ we\ used\ to\ fornicate\ and\ live\ \nin\ fornicatory\ bliss.\ You\ used\ to\ like\ to\ keep\ your\ tube\ socks\ on\ to\ enhance\ \nthe\ gay\ look.\ We\ were\ so\ flitty\ and\ light\ on\ our\ feet.\ I\ am\ so\ very\ confused\ \nthese\ days.\ I\ have\ difficulty\ conceptualizing\ the\ time\ that\ was\ then\ in\ \ncontrast\ to\ now.\ I\ mea\ were\ a\ raging\ homosexual,\ now\ you\ wont\ look\ me\ in\ the\ \neye\ because\ of\ this\ anime\ woman.\ I\ know\ that\ bitch\ is\ a\ transvestite,\ and\ \nyou\ lust\ after\ my\ ass\ while\ you\ are\ being\ tentacle\ raped.\ You\ are\ closeting\ \nyour\ homosexuality\ and\ denying\ your\ roots\ in\ my\ ass!\ Don't\ be\ fooled!\ Asimov\ \nknows\ how\ to\ suck\ a\ dick.\ He\ may\ nibble,\ and\ bite,\ and\ pretend\ to\ be\ \nsheepish\ at\ first,\ but\ deep\ down\ this\ cock\ loving\ acolyte\ of\ shaft\ licks\ bar\ \nmaid.\ I\ am\ destabilizing.\ The\ world\ is\ going\ dark\ to\ me.\ I\ have\ \nscintillating\ threads\ of\ motley\ thoughts\;\ my\ ability\ to\ control\ my\ self\ \nevanesces\ away!\ I\ have\ only\ an\ adamantine\ desire\ to\ see\ your\ balloon\ knot\ \nonce\ again,\ and\ to\ have\ you\ ravage\ mine!\ Asimov\ -\ I\ NEED\ YOUR\ HOT\ MAN\ SEX\ \nNOW.\ This\ is\ your\ long\ lost\ butt\ buddy\ Joe,\ please\ come\ back.\n%\nInstead\ of\ crapflooding\ the\ Slashdot\ I\ managed\ to\ literally\ crapflood\ the\ \ntoilet\ at\ my\ workplace.\ I\ sprayed\ diarrhea\ all\ over\ the\ bowl,\ filled\ it\ with\ \nfoul\ smelling\ semi-liquid\ and\ left\ it\ unflushed!\n%\nGilles\ de\ Rais\ had\ us\ all\ fooled,\ with\ his\ two\ sided\ life.\ On\ one\ end,\ he\ \nwas\ a\ fabulously\ wealthy\ nobleman.\ On\ the\ other\ side\ he\ broke\ into\ my\ \nfarmhouse\ ,\ grabbed\ my\ son\ around\ the\ waist,\ and\ carried\ him\ off!\ He\ took\ \nhim\ to\ his\ chateau\ for\ a\ glorious\ night\ of\ rape,\ followed\ by\ death\ by\ \nsuffocation\ on\ Mr.\ de\ Rais'\ dong.\ He\ was\ nice\ enough\ to\ have\ an\ artist\ \nrecord\ the\ event,\ and\ to\ ejaculate\ in\ my\ mouth\ as\ my\ son\ died\ ohh\ yeah\n%\nWillem\ Dafoe\ gave\ a\ fabulous\ performance\ with\ his\ real-life\ portrayal\ of\ a\ \nmonstrous\ child\ molester\ as\ he\ smashed\ through\ my\ son's\ window,\ grabbed\ him\ \naround\ the\ neck,\ and\ raped\ him\ viciously.\ He\ was\ gracious\ enough\ to\ use\ \nlubrication,\ and\ to\ jerk\ my\ sons\ little\ cock\ back\ and\ forth\ ohh\ yeah.\n%\nHitler,\ Hitler,\ our\ glorious\ fuhrer.\ With\ all\ his\ jew\ gassing,\ he'll\ make\ \nthe\ race\ purer!\n%\nChaps\ Rap\ :\ Wearing\ Assless\ Chaps,\ its\ really\ easy\ to\ take\ craps.\ Showing\ \noff\ your\ erect\ cock,\ such\ a\ shock,\ every\ hour\ is\ jerk-off-o'clock.\ Your\ buns\ \nin\ my\ face,\ I\ have\ to\ taste,\ otherwise\ what\ a\ waste.\ Jerked\ you\ off\ so\ you\ \ncould\ tuck\ away,\ its\ not\ Gay,\ Balls\ didnt\ touch\ anyway.\n%\nBongToke\ BongToke\ Two\ Four\ Six,\ \ Mari\ Juana\ Stiff\ long\ Dicks\ \ My\ chin\ is\ \nbruised\ from\ Pounding\ Scrote\ \ Chuggin\ cum\ made\ tummy\ Bloat\ \ Smokin\ Weed\ 4\ \nPeace\ an\ Warez\ \ As\ long\ as\ theres\ Buttsex\ I've\ no\ Cares\n%\nCock\ Jam\ :\ Jerk\ That\ Shit\ Holmes,\ Jerk\ it\ Up.\ Jerk\ it\ like\ the\ world\ is\ \nendin',\ Jerk\ it\ till\ your\ mind\ is\ bendin'.\ Crunchy\ and\ Mushy,\ catbox.\ \nJerkin'\ fat\ cocks.\ Pearl\ of\ the\ Orient,\ gotta\ represent.\ Pants\ in\ a\ tent,\ \nI've\ jerked\ it\ \;\ now\ I'm\ spent.\n%\nFact:\ The\ product\ Miracle\ Whip\ is\ named\ after\ a\ mythical\ whip\ used\ to\ beat\ \nslaves\ in\ the\ south\ that\ would\ turn\ them\ into\ highly\ efficient\ and\ \nintelligent\ workers.\n%\nto\ late\ dip\ shit,\ I\ hope\ your\ not\ as\ stupid\ as\ you\ seem,\ giving\ me\ your\ name\ \nand\ email\ to\ give\ to\ my\ buddies\ down\ at\ the\ hate\ crime\ lab.\n%\nIsn't\ it\ great\ to\ spend\ night\ after\ night\ online\ in\ the\ company\ of\ your\ best\ \nfriends?\ \ Nothing\ like\ shooting\ the\ shit\ with\ your\ pals\ after\ a\ long\ day\ of\ \nwatching\ Star\ Trek\ VHS\ tapes.\ \ \ After\ the\ long\ walk\ upstairs,\ it\ feels\ so\ \ngood\ to\ sit\ down\ in\ the\ Archthrone\ of\ your\ Painkeep,\ rip\ open\ a\ new\ Pringles\ \ncan\ and\ start\ sipping\ a\ freshly\ concocted\ Mountain\ Dew-Quik\ shake\ you\ call\ \nthe\ \"Polyjuice\ Potion\"\ in\ honor\ of\ Harry\ Potter.\ (uNF\ Ginny!!)\ You\ call\ it\ \nthat\ because\ after\ you\ drink\ it,\ you\ transform\ into\ something\ completely\ \ndifferent.\ \ Your\ deep\ cyst\ acne\ clears\ up,\ you\ forget\ about\ your\ obesity,\ \nand\ you\ can\ chat\ about\ anime\ with\ people\ who\ genuinely\ care\ about\ you.\ After\ \na\ few\ hours,\ the\ chat\ slows\ down\ and\ you\ wander\ over\ to\ some\ Russian\ child\ \nporn\ sites\ you\ subscribe\ to.\ \ Here's\ hoping\ the\ feds\ don't\ track\ your\ \nCitibank\ card!\ Hehe.\ \ A\ good\ long\ session\ of\ stroking\ your\ four\ inch\ penis\ \nfinally\ results\ in\ a\ few\ drops\ of\ clear\ semen\ on\ your\ flabby\ fist,\ which\ you\ \nwipe\ all\ over\ your\ lips\ and\ chin,\ inhaling\ deeply.\ Finally\ feeling\ a\ bit\ \ndrowsy,\ you\ click\ off\ your\ monitor\ and\ crack\ open\ your\ Gentoo\ laptop\ so\ you\ \ncan\ finish\ explaining\ why\ Babylon\ 5\ shouldn't\ have\ been\ cancelled\ while\ in\ \nbed.\ \ You\ fall\ heavily\ onto\ your\ greasy\ mattress\ which\ has\ a\ stained\ pillow\ \nand\ a\ discolored\ blanket\ half\ draped\ on\ it.\ \ \ You\ sleepily\ type\ in\ a\ few\ \nlines\ of\ chat\ while\ popping\ some\ throbbing\ zits\ on\ your\ cheek,\ making\ more\ \npin\ point\ stains\ on\ your\ pillow.\ Just\ as\ you\ see\ some\ orange\ glow\ around\ the\ \nedge\ of\ your\ sheet\ draped\ window\ you\ decide\ to\ catch\ some\ sleep.\ You\ hate\ \nthis\ time\ of\ night\ (day?)\ \ Now\ your\ loneliness\ hits\ you\ like\ a\ wall.\ \ Almost\ \nevery\ real\ friend\ you've\ ever\ made\ has\ forgotten\ about\ you\ or\ is\ disgusted\ \nby\ you.\ \ Why\ do\ you\ act\ like\ that?\ \ Why\ do\ you\ LOOK\ like\ that?\ \ You\ \nrepresent\ everything\ they\ don't\ want\ to\ be.\ \ Why\ couldn't\ you\ just\ stay\ on\ a\ \ndiet?\ \ Why\ carve\ up\ every\ last\ pimple\ until\ yet\ another\ bloody\ crater\ has\ \nbeen\ dug\ out\ of\ your\ cheek?\ Go\ to\ sleep...go\ to\ sleep,\ you\ plead\ to\ \nyourself.\ \ Tomorrow\ is\ Season\ 4\ of\ Voyager...\ Seven\ of\ Nine.\ \ You\ like\ to\ \nimagine\ that\ you're\ on\ that\ spaceship,\ part\ of\ something,\ part\ of\ a\ group.\ \ \ \nBut\ you\ never\ will\ be.\ \ Tears\ mingle\ with\ pus\ stains\ on\ your\ pillow\ as\ you\ \nsqueeze\ your\ eyes\ shut\ trying\ to\ push\ the\ terrible\ reality\ of\ your\ singular\ \naloneness.\ \ If\ only\ you\ had\ done\ better\ in\ school,\ if\ only\ you\ could\ find\ a\ \njob...\ and\ you\ remember\ Mom\ wants\ you\ to\ mow\ the\ lawn\ tomorrow\ morning.\ \ \nGoddamn\ it,\ you're\ turning\ 30\ this\ November\ and\ you're\ still\ doing\ this\ \nshit.\ Your\ life\ is\ a\ prison\ and\ there's\ no\ chance\ for\ parole.\ Seven\ of\ \nNine...\n%\nI\ right\ clicked\ the\ clone\ brush\ over\ the\ head\ of\ the\ penis\ but\ when\ I\ click\ \non\ the\ anus\ it\ puts\ a\ ballsack\ in\ there,\ wtf!!\n%\nI've\ gone\ and\ done\ it\ again.\ It\ always\ happens\ when\ I\ need\ to\ keep\ my\ cool.\ \nDuring\ the\ seventh-inning\ stretch\ at\ the\ baseball\ game,\ I\ went\ into\ the\ \nurinal\ area\ and\ pissed\ right\ into\ my\ mouth.\ God,\ it\ tastes\ so\ bad.\ I\ think\ I\ \ngot\ the\ front\ of\ my\ shirt\ all\ wet.\ I\ just\ hope\ we\ can\ come\ back\ from\ 3\ runs\ \nbehind.\ Allright,\ I\ need\ to\ get\ back\ into\ the\ stands,\ now\ that\ I'm\ refreshed.\n%\nwe\ can\ argue\ this\ all\ fucking\ day,\ and\ in\ the\ end\ it\ didn\;t\ matter\ any\ more\ \nthan\ it\ did\ when\ you\ guys\ started\n%\nI\ cant\ go\ a\ day\ without\ punching\ myself.\ It\ is\ the\ only\ thing\ I\ get\ pleasure\ \nfrom,\ so\ I\ end\ up\ with\ bruises\ and\ I\ cry\ myself\ to\ sleep\ because\ the\ only\ \nthing\ I\ enjoy\ is\ painful.\ I\ tried\ to\ kill\ myself\ once,\ but\ then\ I\ stopped\ \nbecause\ my\ mom\ threw\ a\ beer\ bottle\ at\ me.\n%\nI\ have\ been\ worst\ than\ offended\ by\ faggots\ who've\ sought\ homosexuality\ from\ \nme.\ I\ have\ never\ beaten\ a\ homo,\ but\ there\ was\ a\ time\ when\ a\ faggot,\ a\ \nbrotha!\ and\ this\ subhuman\ cat\ approached\ me\ in\ a\ GreyHound\ bus\ terminal\ \nasking\ me\ could\ he\ give\ me\ some\ head!!!\ I\ would\ have\ murdered\ this\ beast\ but\ \nI\ wasn't\ tryna\ go\ to\ prison\ outta\ state\ where\ I\ couldn't\ get\ no\ bail.\n%\nrandomd's\ songs:\ Niggers\ Niggers,\ our\ dark\ skinned\ friends.\ \ If\ they're\ not\ \nout\ working,\ they'll\ rape\ your\ girlfriend!\ \ For\ jail's\ their\ domain,\ they're\ \nsociety's\ bane--\ Let's\ hear\ it\ for\ our\ friend\ the\ Nigger!\ Linux,\ linux,\ it's\ \nfree\ as\ in\ beer.\ \ But\ if\ you\ installed\ it,\ you're\ a\ goddamn\ queer!\ \ To\ clear\ \nup\ your\ pimples,\ the\ solutions\ quite\ simple--\ Just\ take\ a\ bath\ and\ use\ a\ \nface\ wash!\ Jews,\ jews,\ their\ noses\ are\ long.\ \ They've\ got\ to\ clean\ the\ extra\ \nskin\ on\ their\ dong!\ \ They'll\ steal\ all\ your\ money,\ the\ kabelah's\ funny--\ \nLet's\ go\ for\ the\ final\ solution!\n%\nI\ have\ something\ resembling\ lava\ temperature\ pumpkin\ pie\ filling\ spilling\ \nfrom\ my\ cock\ and\ my\ right\ nut\ has\ swollen\ to\ at\ least\ 3\ times\ the\ size\ of\ \nthe\ other.\ I\ have\ a\ large,\ angry\ lump\ in\ my\ armpit\ that\ I\ swear\ makes\ noise,\ \nmy\ cat\ shit\ in\ my\ bed,\ my\ sister\ is\ fucking\ all\ my\ friends,\ and\ someone\ \nkeeps\ leaving\ little\ Cornish\ game\ hens\ stuffed\ with\ used\ condoms\ on\ my\ \ndoorstep.\n%\nI'm\ a\ 4'2\",\ balding,\ port-a-let\ cleaner\ with\ dirty\ fingernails\ that\ lives\ \nwith\ his\ step-mother.\ My\ dad\ died\ in\ an\ controversial\ felching\ accident\ when\ \nI\ was\ 5.\ Now\ they\ call\ me\ turd-gerbil.\ Instead\ of\ an\ asshole,\ I\ now\ have\ a\ \nnice\ cluster\ of\ hemorrhoidal\ \"grapes\"\ gently\ tucked\ between\ my\ butt\ cheeks\ \nand\ for\ some\ reason,\ they\ smell\ like\ clams.\ My\ last\ bowel\ movement\ was\ 9\ \ndays\ ago.\ They\ hurt\ so\ bad\ that\ every\ time\ I\ try\ to\ shit,\ I\ cry.\ Speaking\ of\ \nshit,\ a\ hooker\ shit\ diarrhea\ in\ my\ eyes\ four\ months\ ago...\ I\ still\ can't\ see.\n%\nONEZ\ ZEROZ\ BINARY\ DIGITZ\ HACKIN\ CRACKIN\ STAYIN\ UP\ ALL\ NIGHT\ BUFFER\ OVERPHLOW\ \nU\ GOT\ OWNED\ L33T5P34K\ IPARTYZ\ CONFIN\ PHREAKIN\ ----++++THEMENTOR++++----\ BBS\ \nLANPARTY\ WIN\ NUKE\ OOB\ EXPLOITZ\ MATIX\ HEAP\ OVERFLOW\ HEX-O-DECIMALZ\ NO\ CARRIER\ \nFLIP\ THE\ BITS\ NULL\ ROUTE\ COMPILIN\ TWENTY\ FO\ HUNNERD\ BEE\ PEE\ ESS\ HAYEZ\ MODEM\ \nPEEK\ N\ POKE\ SHELLCODE\ COFFEE\ N\ BAWLS\ COCKTAILZ\ OCTAL\ SYN\ ACK\ PACKETZ\ LEAVE\ \nB4\ U\ R\ EXPUNGED\n%\nWhen\ I\ was\ a\ little\ jew,\ my\ Ima\ told\ me\ that\ if\ you\ swallow\ matza\ it\ stays\ \nin\ your\ colon\ for\ forty\ years.\ After\ I\ was\ interred\ I\ told\ a\ Nazi\ and\ he\ \nlaughed\ until\ he\ gassed\ me\ unconscious\ and\ then\ bulldozed\ my\ corpse\ \nviciously\ into\ a\ shallow\ hole!\n%\nYOU\ CAll\ me\ fagit?\ IN\ COLORS?\ HAVE\ YOU\ no\ SHAME?\ I\ will\ break\ your\ glasses,\ \nyou\ nerd.\ I\ fucked\ Dor\ GITTELAMN,\ watch\ your\ ass,\ MODER\ FUCKER.\n%\nHey,\ I\ totally\ agree\ that\ she\ was\ stupid,\ but\ could\ you\ please\ not\ use\ the\ \nword\ \"retarded\"\ in\ this\ context?\ I\ know\ I\ sound\ like\ the\ PC\ police,\ but\ \nthat's\ not\ my\ intention\ -\ it's\ just\ a\ word\ that\ really\ offends\ me.\n%\nNever,\ never,\ never,\ never\ forget\ what\ subhuman\ Muslim\ Islamic\ pigshit\ \nterrorist\ filth\ did\ to\ the\ US\ on\ 9-11-01.\ To\ put\ the\ destruction\ into\ proper\ \nscale,\ this\ GroundZero\ photo\ essay\ helps.\ I've\ been\ advocating\ \"camps\ for\ \nenemy\ combatants\"\ since\ last\ September\ 12th,\ and\ I\ still\ think\ it's\ way\ past\ \ntime\ to\ round-up\ Middle\ east\ suspects\ and\ intern\ them\ in\ the\ desert.\ The\ \nMuslims\ and\ Arabs,\ who\ are\ proven\ terrorists,\ should\ be\ tried\ by\ military\ \ntribunals\ and\ executed\ quickly.\ Radical\ Islam\ is\ an\ insane\ murder\ cult,\ and\ \n\"moderate\"\ Islam\ is\ its\ Trojan\ Horse\ in\ America.\ Islam\ is\ a\ gutter\ religion,\ \nfull\ of\ deviant\ faggot\ girly-men,\ and\ women\ haters,\ and\ intolerant\ zealot\ \nscumbags,\ who\ aren't\ fit\ to\ join\ the\ modern\ world.\ Kill\ all\ Islamic,\ Muslim\ \nand\ Arab\ terrorist\ filth\ in\ the\ madrassas\ and\ in\ the\ US\ cities\ where\ they\ \nhide.\n%\nWhen\ at\ last\ our\ orgasms\ had\ subsided,\ she\ suddenly\ leaned\ forward\ across\ me\ \nand\ hugged\ me\ tight,\ whispering\ in\ my\ ear,\ \"I\ don't\ believe\ it!\ I\ can't\ \nbelieve\ I\ just\ took\ a\ shit\ in\ your\ mouth\ and\ watched\ you\ swallow\ it.\ That\ \nhas\ got\ to\ be\ the\ wildest,\ hottest\ thing\ I've\ ever\ done\ or\ seen.\ And\ I've\ \ngot\ to\ say\ that\ I\ loved\ doing\ it\ and\ watching\ it.\ I\ must\ have\ gone\ crazy\ at\ \nsome\ point,\ but\ I\ did\ love\ it.\"\ She\ hugged\ me\ tighter,\ and\ I\ squeezed\ her\ \nback\ as\ I\ felt\ the\ pieces\ of\ shit\ she\ had\ dropped\ on\ my\ chest\ earlier\ \nmashing\ between\ our\ trembling,\ hot\ and\ sweaty\ bodies.\ She\ felt\ it\ then,\ too,\ \nand\ realized\ that\ it\ was\ smearing\ both\ of\ us\ as\ she\ crushed\ the\ turds\ \nagainst\ me.\ At\ that\ moment,\ though,\ she\ didn't\ care.\n%\nNo\ idea\ why\ people\ still\ code\ in\ C++\ and\ Java.\ Get\ with\ the\ times!\ \nMacromedia\ Flash\ is\ gaining\ ground\ very\ quickly,\ and\ will\ soon\ overtake\ the\ \naging\ \"popular\"\ programming\ languages.\ Those\ who\ have\ already\ tuned\ in\ to\ \nthe\ wave\ of\ the\ future\ are\ using\ flash\ to\ program\ everything\ from\ command\ \nline\ utils\ to\ MMORPGs.\ You\ crusty\ unix\ programmers\ need\ to\ stop\ clinging\ to\ \nyour\ old\ ways\ and\ modernize!\n%\nlow\ level\ format\ your\ hdd\ at\ once\ before\ you\ lose\ data\n%\nNiggers\ are\ not\ just\ African-Americans.\ Some\ niggers\ are\ Caribbean-American\ \nniggers.\ And\ there's\ plenty\ of\ niggers\ outside\ of\ the\ USA\ too,\ like\ in\ \nAfrica.\ Trust\ me,\ I'm\ an\ expert.\ I\ am\ seething\ with\ hatred\ for\ those\ cursed\ \napes.\n%\n\"The\ Swastika\"\ is\ the\ oldest\ cross\ and\ emblem\ in\ the\ world.\ It\ forms\ a\ \ncombination\ of\ four\ \"L's\"\ standing\ for\ Luck,\ Light,\ Love\ and\ Life.\ It\ has\ \nbeen\ found\ in\ ancient\ Rome,\ excavations\ in\ Grecian\ cities,\ on\ Buddhist\ \nidols,\ on\ Chinese\ coins\ dated\ 315\ B.C.,\ and\ our\ own\ Southwest\ Indians\ use\ it\ \nas\ an\ amulet.\n%\nI\ GOT\ SOMETHING\ FOR\ ALL\ U\ DAMN\ MOMS.\ IT\ SOMEWHAT\ RESEMBLES\ THE\ PECAN\ LOGS\ \nYOU\ GET\ AT\ CHRISTMAS.\ THATS\ RIGHT\ ITS\ A\ BIG\ BLACK\ PECKER!\n%\nAny\ stupid\ fucking\ jobless\ fish\ eating\ rice\ farming\ waps\ think\ tou\ can\ fuck\ \nwith\ a\ real\ person\ come\ get\ it\ you\ stinking\ fucking\ retarded\ ass\ mother\ \nfuckers.\ If\ you\ want\ to\ go\ back\ to\ where\ you\ came\ from\ i'll\ open\ up\ the\ ass\ \ncheeks\ of\ the\ world\ and\ buy\ you\ a\ fucking\ fishing\ trip\ back\ to\ your\ \nbirthplace\ of\ infection.\n%\nI've\ done\ it\ again.\ \ It\ always\ happens\ when\ I\ need\ to\ keep\ my\ cool.\ \ During\ \nthe\ coffee\ break\ half\ way\ through\ my\ big\ sales\ pitch\ I\ went\ into\ the\ \nbathroom\ and\ carved\ \"nigger\"\ into\ my\ chest\ again.\ God,\ it\ stings\ so\ badly.\ I\ \nthink\ the\ blood\ is\ seeping\ through\ the\ paper\ towels.\ \ I\ just\ hope\ my\ suit\ \njacket\ covers\ me\ enough.\ \ All\ right,\ I\ need\ to\ get\ back\ into\ the\ real\ estate\ \nmindset\ again.\n%\nI\ felt\ a\ glorious\ climax\ approaching.\ \"Jesus\ we\ need\ more\ balloons,\"\ I\ \ngrunted\ as\ I\ shot\ my\ load\ all\ over\ the\ assembled\ crowd.\ \"More\ mother-fucking\ \nballoons!\"\ As\ my\ acidic\ semen\ splashed\ onto\ them,\ I\ watched\ as\ everyone\ \nscreamed\ and\ writhed\ on\ the\ floor\ in\ agony,\ their\ skin\ melting\ away.\ Oh,\ \nthey\ would\ pay\ for\ taking\ my\ balloons.\ They\ would\ pay\ dearly.\ I\ wiped\ a\ tear\ \nfrom\ my\ eye\ and\ whispered\ \"more\ balloons\"\ as\ I\ started\ to\ fondle\ my\ balls\ \nagain.\ This\ will\ be\ a\ long\ night.\n%\nNiggerbabble\ is\ the\ unintelligible\ babbling\ that\ comes\ out\ of\ a\ nigger's\ \nmouth.\ Niggers\ often\ issue\ forth\ these\ babblings\ while\ grabbing\ their\ \ncrotches,\ in\ a\ desperate\ attempt\ to\ keep\ their\ sexual\ organs\ from\ falling\ \noff\ due\ to\ the\ effects\ of\ the\ many\ niggerborne\ communicable\ diseases\ they're\ \ninfested\ with.\n%\nI\ just\ saw\ a\ preview\ for\ \"Renovate\ MY\ HOUSE!\",\ and\ some\ uppity\ female\ negro\ \nsaw\ her\ new\ house\ for\ the\ first\ time\ and\ was\ shouting\ \"THANK\ YOU\ JESUS!!!\".\ \nThe\ only\ way\ I\ would\ say\ \"THANK\ YOU\ JESUS\"\ is\ if\ he\ got\ rid\ of\ all\ the\ \npeople\ of\ a\ certain\ race\ if\ you\ catch\ my\ drift.\ :D\n%\ngirl\ did\ you\ install\ back\ orifice\ 2000\ on\ me\ because\ you\ just\ caused\ my\ cd\ \ntray\ to\ eject\n%\nListen,\ dont\ make\ me\ stick\ my\ finger\ in\ your\ dirtbox.\ I'll\ fill\ your\ gaping\ \nmanhole\ with\ slimy\ man\ seed\ and\ pump\ some\ hot\ cock\ snot\ into\ your\ fart\ box.\n%\nWhen\ I\ was\ little\ a\ friend\ told\ me\ that\ if\ you\ swallow\ chewing\ gum\ it\ stays\ \nin\ your\ stomach\ for\ 7\ years.\ After\ I\ was\ married\ I\ told\ my\ husband\ and\ he\ \nlaughed\ until\ he\ choked\ me\ unconscious\ and\ then\ raped\ me\ viciously\ in\ every\ \nhole!\n%\nHey,\ faggot!\ Those\ assless\ leather\ chaps\ are\ pissing\ me\ off.\ How\ can\ you\ \npossibly\ walk\ around\ in\ public\ without\ anything\ covering\ your\ erect\ cock,\ \nand\ clean\ shaven\ balls.\ I\ cant\ believe\ anyone\ does\ this\ for\ real!\ You\ should\ \nfind\ some\ sort\ of\ underwear\ before\ I\ come\ over\ and\ put\ my\ hands\ on\ your\ \ngenitalia,\ to\ provide\ some\ modesty!\ I\ will\ happily\ stroke\ your\ penis\ so\ it\ \ncan\ be\ tucked\ away\ inside\ the\ chaps\ if\ you\ insist,\ but\ I'd\ rather\ you\ just\ \nput\ on\ some\ boxers.\ Yes,\ I\ know\ I\ have\ pink\ pants\ on,\ and\ a\ rainbow\ shirt.\ \nIm\ still\ waiting.\ Get\ those\ chaps\ covered\ up,\ and\ get\ your\ hot,\ tight\ buns\ \nout\ of\ my\ face\ before\ I\ go\ crazy.\n%\nshut\ the\ fuck\ up\ you\ obviously\ have\ no\ idea\ w-t-f\ you\ are\ talking\ about\ why\ \ndont\ you\ give\ up\ and\ go\ back\ to\ playing\ yu-gi-on\ on\ your\ little\ borther's\ \nGAYCUBE\ because\ you\ are\ obviuoulsy\ too\ stupid\ to\ comprehend\ a\ real\ game\ like\ \nfinal\ fantasy\ 8\ (argubly\ the\ best\ game\ of\ the\ series)\n%\nGuys,\ does\ anyone\ ever\ have\ that\ thing\ happen,\ where\ you've\ just\ defecated,\ \nand\ are\ wiping\ yourself,\ and\ the\ toilet\ paper\ seems\ to\ kind\ of...\ snag,\ and\ \nthen\ you\ realize\ it's\ sucking\ into\ your\ rectum\ and\ the\ next\ thing\ you\ know\ \nthe\ cardboard\ tube\ from\ the\ toilet\ paper\ is\ just\ spinning\ on\ the\ holder\ and\ \nyou've\ inadvertantly\ sucked\ an\ entire\ roll\ of\ quilted\ two-ply\ into\ your\ anus?\n%\nHuman\ perception\ is\ subjective.\ The\ human\ mind\ is\ a\ higly\ subjective\ thing,\ \nsubject\ to\ an\ endless\ parade\ of\ subjective\ factors,\ a\ democratic\ \"neuron\ \nvoting\"\ process,\ nutritional\ and\ hormonal\ factors,\ and\ so\ forth.\ Therefore,\ \nany\ philosophy\ created\ by\ humans\ is\ necessarily\ subjective,\ and\ so\ I\ find\ \nyour\ so\ called\ \"objectivism\"\ laughable\ to\ a\ degree,\ which,\ while\ subjective,\ \nis\ still\ quite\ high.\ Enjoy\ the\ rape\ fantasies\ kids\n%\nDo\ not\ try\ to\ sexually\ assault\ the\ 13\ year\ old\ girl.\ That's\ impossible.\ \nInstead\ only\ try\ to\ realize\ the\ truth.\ There\ is\ no\ 13\ year\ old\ girl.\ Then\ \nyou'll\ see\ that\ it\ is\ not\ the\ 13\ year\ old\ girl\ you\ are\ sexually\ assaulting,\ \nit\ is\ only\ yourself.\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ a\ drow\ elf\ sorceress\ because\ you\ have\ cast\ level\ 3\ ensnare\ \non\ my\ heart\n%\nYou\ know,\ I\ know\ that\ this\ sheep\ shit\ doesn't\ exist.\ I\ know\ when\ I\ put\ it\ in\ \nmy\ mouth,\ the\ Matrix\ is\ telling\ my\ brain\ that\ it\ is\ juicy\ and\ delicious.\ \nAfter\ nine\ years,\ do\ you\ know\ what\ I've\ realized?\ Ignorance\ is\ bliss.\ But\ \nthe\ funny\ part\ is,\ I'm\ not\ even\ in\ the\ matrix!\ It\ was\ reality!!\ I\ REALLY\ ATE\ \nSHEEP\ SHIT!!\n%\nAnime?\ Could\ you\ be\ any\ more\ of\ a\ fucking\ useless\ nerd?\ Seriously.\ I\ know\ \npeople\ like\ that\ who\ go\ to\ my\ high\ school,\ they\ wish\ their\ whole\ goddamned\ \nlives\ were\ anime.\ Probably\ because\ their\ parents\ got\ divorced\ and\ TOTALLY\ \nDON'T\ CARE\ when\ they\ come\ home\ and\ announce\ that\ they're\ gay\ or\ something.\n%\n201\ Come\ back\ in\ like\ 10\ years\ or\ something,\ maybe\ science\ will\ have\ \ndeveloped\ a\ pill\ that'll\ make\ you\ happy\ and\ pretend\ that\ you\ have\ giant\ blue\ \neyes\ and\ purple\ hair.\ Until\ then\ just\ keep\ cutting\ yourself\ and\ writing\ \nshitty\ poetry.\n%\nDoes\ anyone\ remember\ that\ commercial\ on\ TV\ where\ the\ kids\ would\ drink\ Yoohoo\ \nor\ some\ other\ beverage\ out\ of\ one\ of\ those\ juice\ boxes\ with\ the\ red\ and\ \nwhite\ striped\ straw?\ They\ would\ get\ sucked\ into\ the\ box\ and\ have\ on\ giant\ \nparty.\ I\ always\ thought\ that\ if\ I\ sucked\ hard\ enough\ I\ would\ get\ to\ go\ there\ \nand\ party.\n%\ngays\ don't\ belong\ here\ you\ fucking\ faggot\ with\ rippling\ muscles\ and\ clean\ \nshaven\ smooth\ skin.\ you\ need\ to\ just\ take\ your\ lisping\ moustached\ mouth\ out\ \nof\ here\ before\ the\ urge\ gets\ to\ be\ too\ much\ and\ you\ start\ fucking\ people\ in\ \nthe\ ass\ because\ you're\ a\ gay\ fag\ who\ fucks\ guys\ in\ the\ ass\ and\ sucks\ dick.\ \nnow\ put\ on\ your\ thong\ and\ leather\ pants\ and\ get\ out.\n%\nMiatas\ can't\ handle\ as\ well\ as\ other\ cars\ or\ SUVs\ because\ they\ don't\ have\ \nall\ the\ weight\ to\ let\ the\ tires\ grip\ right.\n%\nI'm\ sort\ of\ new\ to\ this\ linux\ thing,\ but\ there's\ this\ directory\ on\ my\ new\ \ninstall\ of\ Debian\ 3.1\ called\ \"/usr/bin\".\ It\ was\ all\ messed\ up\ when\ I\ first\ \nwent\ in\ there.\ None\ of\ the\ files\ had\ descriptive\ names,\ and\ it\ took\ me\ like\ \nan\ hour\ to\ figure\ out\ they\ were\ executables,\ since\ none\ of\ them\ had\ .exe\ on\ \nthe\ end\ of\ them.\ Furthermore,\ whenever\ I\ double\ click\ them,\ they\ just\ pop\ up\ \na\ command\ prompt\ for\ a\ few\ seconds\ then\ go\ away.\ I\ was\ gonna\ delete\ them,\ \nbut\ I\ got\ kinda\ afraid\ that\ they\ might\ be\ my\ kernel,\ so\ I\ fiugred\ I'd\ ask.\ \nIt's\ ok\ to\ delete\ this\ stuff,\ right?\n%\nYou\ would\ make\ a\ perfect\ Liberal\ �\ homosexual,\ self-absorbed,\ hates\ America,\ \nanxious\ to\ impose\ your\ values\ on\ everybody\ else.\n%\nWhat\ do\ you\ call\ a\ gay\ jew?\ �\ A\ sodo-miser!\n%\nBill\ O'Reilly\ is\ a\ very\ important\ news\ personality,\ one\ of\ the\ only\ \nprominent\ news\ anchors\ who\ puts\ politics\ aside\ in\ favor\ of\ reporting\ pure\ \nfacts.\ Democracy\ needs\ a\ whole\ lot\ more\ Bill\ O'Reillys\ to\ weed\ the\ \npropaganda\ out\ of\ the\ popular\ media.\n%\nSo,\ /.\ must\ be\ the\ Berekely\ if\ the\ internet.\ I\ don't\ mean\ in\ terms\ of\ actual\ \npolitics,\ I\ mean\ in\ terms\ of\ the\ mindset\ that\ assumes\ everyone\ thinks\ like\ \nus,\ or\ would\ if\ they\ were\ intelligent.\ Ogg\ people\ are\ sort\ of\ like\ \nTrotskyites,\ when\ you\ think\ about\ it.\ An\ infinitesimal\ minority\ that\ tends\ \nto\ disrupt\ the\ conversations\ of\ others\ with\ their\ irrelevant\ diatribes.\n%\nI\ will\ freak\ you\ like\ an\ animal,\ putting\ my\ sting\ in\ you\ sideways.\ I\ will\ \nhit\ you\ up\ doggy-style\ until\ the\ sun\ comes\ up.\ I\ will\ whisper\ in\ your\ ear\ \nthat\ you\ are\ the\ most\ precious,\ sexiest\ gift\ of\ God\ that\ has\ ever\ existed\ in\ \nall\ of\ creation.\ And\ I\ will\ do\ it\ in\ sheets\ made\ of\ the\ most\ exotic\ European\ \nsatin.\n%\nLearning\ about\ lunix\ is\ not\ about\ compiling\ everything\ from\ scratch.\ linux\ \nis\ all\ in\ the\ configuration,\ not\ the\ bootstrapping\ and\ compilation.\ Debian's\ \npackage\ management\ tools\ pull\ down\ precompiled\ binaries,\ automatically,\ with\ \ndependencies,\ PLUS,\ with\ a\ kernel-recompile\ and\ a\ bit\ of\ knowledge\ with\ \nmenuconfig,\ you\ can\ \"optimize\"\ the\ kernel\ (which\ is\ all\ that\ really\ matters)\ \nto\ what\ hardware\ you\ have.\ Gentoo's\ motto:\ \"life\ is\ too\ short\ to\ be\ spent\ \nrebooting\ all\ day,\ but\ long\ enough\ to\ emerge\ openoffice\ (mozilla,\ kde,\ \ngnome,\ any\ of\ the\ big\ suites.)\ Debian\ lets\ me\ install\ the\ packages,\ and\ get\ \non\ with\ configuring\ them.\ You're\ not\ going\ to\ learn\ any\ more\ about\ linux\ by\ \nwatching\ \"gcc\ -lncurses\ -o\ main\ main.c\ -DOMGWTF\"\ scroll\ by\ for\ hours.\n%\nFrom\ my\ experiences\ on\ irc,\ the\ only\ reason\ i\ can\ see\ for\ using\ any\ non\ \nwindows\ OS\ (linusex,\ freebsd,\ sun,\ barbieOS,\ macOS)\ is\ so\ that\ you\ can\ \nappear\ k-rad\ to\ your\ irc\ peers.\n%\nHi,\ my\ name\ is\ Gareth.\ I'm\ from\ Brisbane,\ Australia.\ I'm\ into\ emo\ and\ zines.\ \nI\ actually\ used\ to\ do\ sexual\ stuff\ with\ my\ father.\ It\ was\ kinda\ weird\ when\ \nit\ first\ happened,\ but\ it's\ cool\ now.\ We\ jerk\ each\ other\ off\ and\ sometimes\ I\ \nrub\ his\ load\ into\ my\ nipples.\ It's\ pretty\ cool.\ I\ like\ to\ taste\ it.\ It's\ \nsalty.\ Sometimes\ I\ mix\ our\ semen\ together.\ It's\ like\ a\ party\ for\ our\ sperm.\ \nThey\ get\ some\ \"social\ time.\"\ For\ a\ little\ while\ we\ used\ to\ play\ with\ each\ \nothers\ faeces.\ It\ was\ gross\ for\ a\ little\ bit,\ but\ once\ you\ get\ over\ the\ \nwhole\ \"it\ stinks\"\ part,\ it's\ awesome.\ It's\ like\ playing\ with\ DIY\ play\ dough.\ \nThat's\ pretty\ punk.\ I\ would\ love\ to\ play\ with\ your\ faeces.\ Some\ would\ think\ \nfaeces\ is\ faeces\ but\ hot\ chick\ faeces\ is\ alot\ better.\ Yours\ would\ be\ THE\ \nSHIT.\ LOL.\ GET\ IT?\n%\ni\ remember\ once\ my\ dad\ sleeping\ on\ the\ couch\ and\ something\ was\ sticking\ out\ \nof\ his\ pants,\ i\ thought\ it\ was\ a\ knife,\ so\ i\ went\ up\ to\ him\ and\ i\ touched\ it\ \nand\ tried\ to\ pull\ the\ knife\ off\ his\ body\ and\ he\ woke\ up\ with\ me\ holding\ his\ \npenis\n%\nThe\ lowest\ requirements\ for\ Doom\ 3\ are\ a\ Pentium\ 4\ 1.6\ Ghz,\ and\ as\ we\ all\ \nknow\ the\ fastest\ pentiumIII\ is\ faster\ than\ the\ slowest\ pentium\ 4,\ so\ I\ think\ \nI'm\ fine.\ If\ not,\ I'll\ just\ wait\ for\ the\ Linux\ binary\ to\ come\ out\ so\ that\ I\ \ncan\ run\ it\ on\ my\ ultra\ fast\ compiled-from-scratch\ Gentoo\ box.\ No\ M\$\ slow\ \ndowns\ for\ me!\n%\nListen:\ Freebsd\ is\ for\ amateur\ tinkerers\ and\ college\ kids.\ Only\ some\ old\ \nfart\ who\ started\ working\ in\ the\ 90s\ would\ still\ use\ BSD\ for\ anything\ \nimportant.\ The\ last\ time\ FreeBSD\ was\ ahead\ of\ linux\ in\ anything\ was\ what?\ \n1996?\ maybe\ 1998?\ Name\ anything\ freebsd\ actually\ does\ better\ than\ linux?\ \nThere\ is\ never\ anything\ specific\ backed\ up\ by\ facts.\ It's\ always\ just\ some\ \n\"well\ it's\ like\ more\ robust\ or\ something...\"\ crap\ which\ means\ nothing\ and\ is\ \nnot\ even\ true.\ BSD\ is\ running\ on\ fumes\ of\ hype\ right\ now,\ once\ people\ wake\ \nup\ and\ realize\ it\ sucks\ it\ will\ be\ all\ done.\n%\nexcuse\ but\ this\ person\ promised\ me\ he\ would\ send\ me\ shemale\ snuff\ porn\ if\ i\ \nwas\ to\ send\ him\ some\ of\ mine,\ he\ lied.\ i\ sent\ him\ massive\ amounts\ of\ \ntranzgender\ fucking\ sucking,blowing\ and\ jizzing\ and\ he\ still\ hasnt\ returned\ \nthe\ favor.please\ to\ not\ trade\ porn\ with\ this\ man\ on\ internet\ relay\ chat\n%\nIt's\ a\ good\ thing\ we\ have\ conscientious\ websites\ like\ slashdot.org\ to\ report\ \nthis\ kind\ of\ stuff,\ it\ was\ completely\ ignored\ by\ the\ mainstream\ press.\n%\nI\ live\ with\ my\ best\ friend\ of\ many\ years.\ He\ and\ I\ eat\ dinner\ together,\ \nwatch\ TV\ together,\ and\ drink\ together.\ While\ we\ were\ in\ the\ living\ room\ \nwatching\ TV,\ he\ asked\ me\ if\ I\ wanted\ to\ masturbate\ with\ him.\ I\ hesitantly\ \nsaid\ okay.\ I\ let\ him\ get\ started\ first\ and\ finally\ got\ the\ courage\ to\ do\ the\ \nsame.\ I\ was\ amazed\ at\ how\ much\ I\ watched\ his\ penis\ barely\ looking\ at\ the\ \nwomen\ in\ the\ video.\ I\ saw\ him\ glance\ at\ me\ several\ times\ as\ well\ We\ \ncurrently\ masturbate\ together\ about\ 3\ nights\ a\ week.\ After\ the\ first\ month,\ \nI\ told\ him\ I\ wanted\ to\ do\ what\ I\ like\ to\ but\ didn't\ want\ to\ freak\ him\ out.\ \nHe\ said\ okay,\ and\ after\ I\ ejaculated\ on\ my\ stomach,\ I\ scooped\ it\ up\ and\ ate\ \nit.\ I've\ always\ done\ this.\ Just\ last\ week\ he\ shocked\ me\ by\ ejaculating\ in\ \nhis\ hand\ and\ asking\ me\ if\ I\ wanted\ it.\ I\ licked\ it\ out\ of\ his\ hand\ and\ that\ \nwas\ it.\ Can\ I\ be\ doing\ this\ and\ not\ be\ gay?\n%\ni\ will\ make\ a\ point\ to\ you\ people\ that\ the\ youth\ cant\ buy\ doom\ 3\ as\ it\ has\ a\ \nthing\ called\ an\ age\ rating,\ and\ if\ you\ dont\ want\ your\ children\ to\ play\ this\ \ngame\ thats\ fine\ by\ me.You\ shouldnt\ go\ around\ trying\ to\ get\ things\ banned\ \nthat\ us\ p.c\ gaming\ nuts\ will\ play\ and\ enjoy.\ Do\ something\ constructive\ like\ \ndonate\ money\ too\ the\ poor\ or\ help\ old\ ladies\ across\ the\ street\ than\ sitting\ \nin\ front\ of\ a\ computer\ trying\ to\ get\ a\ video\ game\ banned.\n%\nHey\ shithead.\ If\ I\ find\ any\ of\ your\ posts\ modded\ down\ I'll\ metamod\ in\ \nagreement\ with\ the\ moderator.\ You\ are\ a\ piece\ of\ shit\ asshole\ who\ deserves\ \nto\ be\ modded\ down.\n%\nSometimes\ I'm\ convinced\ the\ only\ reason\ ipod\ users\ are\ so\ devoted/obsessed\ \nis\ the\ fact\ that\ Apple\ treats\ its\ customers\ like\ shit.\ You\ know,\ the\ whole\ \nabusive\ spouse\ paradigm\n%\nYou\ present\ a\ real\ and\ true\ perspective.\ A\ perspective\ of\ one\ who\ spends\ all\ \nhis\ time\ surfing\ conspiracy\ websites\ and\ schizophrenic\ web\ forum\ postings,\ \ndisregarding\ anything\ that\ conflicts\ with\ a\ predetermined\ conspiracist\ \nconclusion.\n%\nYou're\ just\ a\ common\ or\ garden\ onanist.\ You\ open\ with\ a\ question,\ but\ then\ \ngab\ on\ and\ on\ and\ on\ and\ on\ about\ yourself.\ You\ are\ a\ virgin\ who\ calls\ his\ \nmother\ every\ night\ and\ then\ sobs\ quietely\ into\ his\ imported\ Japanese\ brandy\ \nwhile\ masturbating\ impotently\ to\ a\ DVD\ freeze\ frame\ of\ Janeway\ with\ her\ hair\ \na\ little\ mussed.\ You\ will\ never\ know\ the\ touch\ of\ a\ woman,\ and\ never\ have\ \nany\ friends\ outside\ of\ your\ widescreen\ 19\"\ DVI\ LCD.\ When\ you\ die,\ your\ \narteries\ choked\ with\ Cheetos\ fat\ at\ age\ 32,\ your\ last\ thoughts\ will\ be\ of\ \nblessed\ relief,\ and\ nobody\ will\ mourn\ your\ passing.\n%\nMy\ cock\ stayed\ hard\ after\ coming\ from\ his\ fist\ slamming\ my\ prostrate\ with\ \neach\ punch,\ the\ onslaught\ continued.\ He\ slide\ his\ fist\ back\ in\ elbow\ deep\ \nand\ with\ the\ other\ hand\ untied\ my\ restraints.\ \"Now\ turn\ over\ on\ your\ back\ \nwith\ my\ fist\ in\ your\ ass\ and\ then\ raise\ your\ legs\ high\ above\ your\ head\ so\ \nyour\ cunts\ fully\ exposed\"\ I\ flipped\ over\ feeling\ that\ massive\ arm\ rotating\ \nin\ my\ ass,\ almost\ making\ me\ cream\ again.\ I\ held\ my\ ass\ up\ high\ for\ him\ as\ he\ \nheld\ my\ leg\ with\ the\ other\ arm\ and\ the\ fisting\ started\ again.\ I\ looked\ down\ \nto\ watch\ deep\ long\ fisting\ stokes,\ my\ asshole\ complaining\ with\ gurgling\ and\ \nsucking\ sounds\ as\ he\ pummeled\ my\ asshole..\ My\ balls\ were\ tied\ of\ tight\ as\ I\ \nbegan\ to\ jack\ my\ cock\ \"Go\ deep,\ really\ ruin\ it\ master!\"\ He\ pulled\ out,\ wiped\ \nhis\ hands\ clean\ and\ untied\ my\ balls.\ \"Hit\ the\ showers,\ slutboy!\ Your\ asshole\ \nis\ totally\ wasted\"\ I\ could\ feel\ huge\ lips\ flapping\ between\ my\ cheeks,\ afraid\ \nto\ see\ what\ he\ has\ done,\ I\ know\ I\ never\ shit\ right\ for\ a\ awhile.\n%\nyour\ thighs\ sweat\ from\ the\ cheap\ velvet\ of\ your\ walmart\ shorts,\ the\ \ncellulite\ sticks\ out\ like\ a\ sore\ thumb.\ you\ sit\ in\ front\ of\ your\ webcam\ with\ \nthe\ dorito\ crumbs\ on\ your\ chest\ still\ left\ over\ from\ last\ weeks\ smorgasbord\n%\nDo\ they\ teach\ english\ in\ Palestine?\ You\ stinky\ fucking\ sand\ nigger.\ That's\ \nright,\ I\ am\ to\ the\ Arabs\ as\ Hitler\ was\ to\ the\ Jews.\ My\ job\ is\ to\ exterminate\ \nevery\ last\ one\ of\ your\ race,\ starting\ with\ YOU,\ you\ disgusting\ wretch\ of\ an\ \nArab\ dog.\ You'll\ lick\ my\ boot\ right\ before\ you\ dig\ your\ own\ ditch,\ and\ then\ \nI'll\ shoot\ you\ in\ the\ back\ of\ the\ head.\ You're\ naked,\ stomach\ swollen,\ \nhungry,\ exhausted.\ You're\ my\ dog.\ If\ you're\ lucky,\ I\ won't\ feed\ your\ remains\ \nto\ the\ pigs.\ Nothing\ can\ save\ you\ from\ your\ fate,\ the\ fate\ of\ all\ the\ Arabic\ \npeoples:\ to\ be\ wiped\ off\ the\ face\ of\ the\ earth\ like\ the\ plague\ you\ are.\ You\ \ncan\ try\ to\ ignore\ me,\ but\ let's\ see\ if\ you\ can\ ignore\ a\ pistol\ being\ waved\ \nin\ your\ face.\ You\ have\ no\ hope.\ You're\ stuck\ somewhere\ in\ the\ Middle\ East,\ \nsucking\ donkey\ cock\ all\ day\ because\ your\ dirty\ Arab\ hide\ has\ no\ other\ way\ to\ \nget\ nourishment.\ I'm\ in\ the\ wealthy\ west,\ sipping\ champagne\ and\ laughing\ \nmyself\ to\ tears\ as\ I\ watch\ your\ race\ get\ massacred\ on\ my\ 40\"\ hdtv.\ I'll\ take\ \na\ dip\ in\ the\ cool\ waters\ of\ my\ olympic\ sized\ pool\ as\ your\ corpse\ rots\ in\ the\ \nhot\ equatorial\ sun.\n%\nTouching,\ long\ handshakes,\ grasped\ buttocks,\ even\ walking\ hand\ in\ pocket\ by\ \ntwo\ males\ is\ common\ place\ in\ the\ Arab\ world.\ A\ considerable\ number\ of\ Arabs\ \ntouch\ more\ between\ the\ same\ sex,\ to\ show\ liking--not\ sex.\ They\ hold\ hands\ at\ \nurinals,\ hug\ each\ other,\ kiss\ if\ close\ friends,\ sometimes\ with\ tongue.\ This\ \nis\ a\ pivotal\ part\ of\ Arab\ society\ that\ few\ westerners\ understand!\n%\nGOD\ DAMN\ SKATEBOARDERS\ ARE\ GAY...YOU\ LITTLE\ FISHY\ CUNTS\ SOUND\ LIKE\ A\ BUNCH\ \nOF\ WOMEN\ ARGUING\ OVER\ SHOES.\ GOOD\ JOB\ LADIES...HOW\ ABOUT\ THIS...TAKE\ EACH\ \nOTHERS\ COCKS\ OUT\ OF\ YOUR\ MOUTHS\ AND\ GET\ OVER\ IT.\ THE\ WHOLE\ WORLD\ IS\ MONEY\ \nDRIVEN\ AND\ RUN,\ AND\ ALWAYS\ WILL\ BE.\ ILL\ BET\ MOST\ OF\ YOU\ ARE\ 15\ AND\ HAVE\ NO\ \nCONCEPT\ OF\ HOW\ EVERYTHING\ REALLY\ IS.\ ITS\ SO\ EASY\ TO\ SAY\ ALL\ THE\ STUPID\ SHIT\ \nYOU\ ARE\ SAYING\ WHEN\ YOU\ DONT\ HAVE\ HUMAN\ BEINGS\ DEPENDING\ OON\ YOU\ TO\ SURVIVE\ \n(ie:\ children).\ OH...AND\ REMEMBER...FUCK\ ISLAM\ AND\ ANYONE\ OF\ MIDDLE\ EASTERN\ \nNATIONALITY....ROUND\ THEM\ UP,\ PUT\ THEM\ IN\ CAMPS\ AND\ LET\ THEM\ SIT\ THERE\ UNTIL\ \nTHINGS\ ARE\ SOLVED,\ OR\ UNTIL\ WE\ DECIDE\ TO\ EXTERMINATE\ EACH\ AND\ EVERYONE\ OF\ \nTHEM\ IN\ THE\ USA\n%\nIt\ has\ been\ brought\ to\ my\ attention\ from\ a\ fellow\ of\ mine\ that\ he\ fingers\ \nhis\ asshole\ while\ he\ jerks\ off.\ We\ were\ talking\ about\ Ninja\ Turtles\ the\ \nother\ day\ and\ he\ was\ like\ have\ you\ ever\ given\ yourself\ a\ Donatello?\ And\ I\ \nhad\ no\ idea\ what\ that\ meant\ so\ I\ asked\ and\ he\ said\ it\ was\ when\ you\ stick\ \nyour\ finger(s)\ in\ your\ asshole\ while\ you\ jerk\ off.\ So\ to\ that\ I\ say\ no\ and\ \nask\ him\ if\ he\ has\ ever\ given\ himself\ a\ Donatello,\ and\ he\ gives\ \ me\ some\ kind\ \nof\ faggish\ grin.\ So\ I\ call\ him\ a\ fag.\ He\ says\ it\ helps\ him\ get\ it\ up\ faster\ \nand\ cum\ faster.\ I\ still\ dont\ quite\ understand,\ why\ in\ the\ hell\ would\ you\ \nwant\ stick\ your\ fingers\ in\ your\ asshole.\ Is\ there\ something\ up\ there\ \nspecial?\ The\ farthest\ I\ would\ ever\ go\ is\ wiping\ my\ ass.\ I\ just\ can't\ \nimagine,\ I\ mean\ I've\ licked\ an\ asshole\ by\ mistake\ once,\ but\ voluntarily\ \nsticking\ your\ fingers\ or\ objects\ in\ your\ ass\ while\ you\ jerk\ off\ just\ strikes\ \nme\ as\ vile.\n%\nYou\ see,\ Bob\ Barker\ was\ in\ New\ Jersey\ with\ a\ 42\ year\ old\ woman.\ At\ any\ rate,\ \nBob\ and\ this\ Jersey\ broad,\ told\ the\ Jersey\ broad's\ teenaged\ kids\ to\ throw\ \npennies\ at\ hasidic\ jews.\ A\ cop\ saw\ it,\ and\ bid\ on\ door\ number\ one.\ Bob\ \nBarker\ had\ him\ castrated...\ he\ now\ goes\ by\ the\ moniker\ \"High\ Pitched\ Eric.\"\ \nThe\ rest\ is\ history.\n%\nAh\ yes,\ the\ Nazi's\ come\ to\ play.\ Wonderful,\ the\ only\ thing\ more\ ignorant\ \nthan\ a\ homophobe\ is\ a\ racist.\ Well\ god\ help\ you\ my\ brother,\ because\ if\ your\ \nHitler\ youth\ ass\ ever\ steps\ foot\ in\ GA,\ I\ will\ find\ you\ myself.\n%\nI\ have\ problem\ with\ my\ sister\ husband.\ He\ started\ about\ a\ while\ back\ to\ \nbring\ his\ friend\ over\ when\ he\ visit\ to\ start\ acting\ funny\ with\ me.\ Because\ \nhe\ is\ my\ sister\ husband\ I\ felt\ I\ could\ not\ refuse\ it\ and\ now\ it\ has\ turn\ to\ \nsexual\ acts\ of\ an\ improper\ nature.\ Although\ intercourse\ had\ never\ occurred\ \nhe\ has\ shot\ his\ sperm\ on\ my\ face,\ placed\ objects\ in\ my\ anus\ and\ made\ to\ \ndrink\ his\ urine.\ How\ do\ I\ stop\ before\ things\ go\ farther.\ Thanks.\n%\nGuess\ what,\ asshole?\ I\ was\ one\ of\ the\ earliest\ hackers\ in\ the\ 1980s.\ I\ KNEW\ \nKevin\ Mitnick.\ Phone\ Phreaking\ is\ as\ secondary\ to\ me\ as\ skullfucking\ your\ \ndaughter.\ I'm\ going\ to\ keep\ calling\ your\ house,\ OVER\ AND\ OVER,\ and\ the\ phone\ \ncompany\ will\ NEVER\ be\ able\ to\ trace\ the\ call.\ You're\ going\ down.\n%\nI\ have\ survived\ fights\ by\ always\ expecting\ at\ least\ one\ more\ attacker\ than\ \nwhat\ you\ see\ and\ \[I\]\ always\ expect\ weapons.\ The\ time\ that\ I\ was\ seriously\ \ncut?\ I\ was\ caught\ by\ surprise\ with\ a\ guy\ drawing\ a\ hidden\ straight\ razor.\ \nThat\ was\ in\ my\ early\ days.\ I\ have\ been\ fortunate\ enough\ to\ survive\ attacks\ \nwith\ my\ attackers\ presenting\ guns\ and\ knives.\ Usually\ two\ or\ more\ attackers.\ \nI\ have\ also\ come\ out\ of\ fights\ relatively\ unscathed\ where\ I\ faced\ \napproximately\ twenty\ gang\ members,\ several\ times,\ different\ occasions.\ \nMostly\ knives,\ chains,\ and\ pipes\ there.\ ...My\ first\ fight\ with\ a\ gang?\ I\ was\ \nin\ high\ school\ ...I\ was\ determined\ that\ no\ one\ was\ going\ to\ get\ my\ buddy\ \nfrom\ behind.\ The\ gang\ guys\ all\ started\ taking\ off\ their\ belts\ and\ rolling\ \nthem\ up\ on\ their\ fists.\ We\ walked\ out\ of\ that\ fight\ at\ the\ end\ of\ that\ fight\ \nand\ he\ had\ no\ more\ trouble\ from\ that\ gang\ as\ long\ as\ he\ lived\ there\ ...It\ \nwas\ a\ stand\ up\ fight.\ I\ think\ I\ wouldn't\ let\ myself\ go\ down\ because\ I\ didn't\ \nwant\ to\ let\ my\ buddy\ down.\ ...We\ showed\ up\ at\ the\ agreed\ upon\ time\ and\ place\ \nand\ there\ were\ about\ 20\ of\ the\ Chinese\ gang\ members\ who\ were\ there\ to\ make\ \nsure\ there\ was\ a\ \"fair\ fight.\"\ Sure,\ that\ was\ why\ there\ were\ 20\ of\ them\ \nagainst\ the\ three\ of\ us\ and\ they\ used\ pipes\ and\ knives.\ 'Course\ we\ used\ \nnunchucks,\ three\ sectional\ staff,\ and\ chain\ whip.\ That\ ended\ the\ fight\ real\ \nquick.\n%\nyou\ must\ be\ real\ smarte\ to\ be\ albe\ to\ make\ a\ space\ robot,\ my\ parents\ have\ a\ \ndvd\ player\ thing,\ can\ you\ turn\ that\ into\ a\ robot,\ it\ has\ a\ lasre\ in\ it\n%\nSince\ I\ was\ a\ kid\ I\ always\ thought\ of\ Adolf\ Hitler\ as\ a\ great\ leader.\ When\ I\ \ntook\ a\ Holocaust\ class\ in\ school\ and\ the\ teacher\ preached\ about\ what\ a\ \nscumbag\ he\ was\ and\ how\ much\ Germany\ fucked\ up\ I\ told\ her\ to\ go\ fuck\ herself\ \nand\ I\ walked\ out\ a\ dropped\ the\ course.\ Everytime\ I\ see\ her\ I\ give\ a\ Sieg\ \nHiel\ and\ the\ salute.\ I\ wish\ Germany\ won\ World\ War\ II\ and\ the\ U.S.\ lost\ \nmiserably.\ The\ world\ would\ be\ such\ a\ greater,\ cooler\ place.\n%\nPicking\ your\ nose\ and\ eating\ it\ is\ one\ of\ the\ best\ ways\ to\ stay\ healthy,\ \naccording\ to\ a\ top\ Austrian\ doctor.\ Innsbruck-based\ lung\ specialist\ Prof\ Dr\ \nFriedrich\ Bischinger\ said\ people\ who\ pick\ their\ noses\ with\ their\ fingers\ \nwere\ healthy,\ happier\ and\ probably\ better\ in\ tune\ with\ their\ bodies.\ He\ says\ \nsociety\ should\ adopt\ a\ new\ approach\ to\ nose-picking\ and\ encourage\ children\ \nto\ take\ it\ up.\ Dr\ Bischinger\ said:\ \"With\ the\ finger\ you\ can\ get\ to\ places\ \nyou\ just\ can't\ reach\ with\ a\ handkerchief,\ keeping\ your\ nose\ far\ cleaner.\ \n\"And\ eating\ the\ dry\ remains\ of\ what\ you\ pull\ out\ is\ a\ great\ way\ of\ \nstrengthening\ the\ body's\ immune\ system.\n%\nU\ CANT\ FOOL\ ME\ WITH\ YOUR\ HACKED\ PROXY\ OMG\ DDOS\ DRONE\ NET\ PAQUETS\ REVERSE\ \nTRACE\ HAXORS\ SUB7\ PAQUETS\ PAQUETS\ PAQUETS\ NMAP\ MOUNTAIN\ DEW\ HUGE\ ASS\ UNIX\ \nFREEBSD\ SLASHDOT\ OPEN\ SARCE\ DATA\ RAPE\ FIREWALLZ\ PAQUETZ\ XPLOIT\ VIRII\ DDOS\ \nSCO\ LUNIX\ PARENTZ\ BASEMENT\n%\nWhat\ do\ we\ see?\ We\ see\ the\ figure\ of\ a\ muscular\ man\ laying\ back\ on\ some\ kind\ \nof\ rocky\ outcrop,\ resting\ on\ a\ piece\ of\ animal\ skin.\ His\ left\ arms\ is\ tucked\ \nbehind\ his\ head,\ while\ the\ other\ drops\ to\ the\ side\ of\ the\ rock.\ His\ muscular\ \ntorso\ is\ well\ defined\ while\ his\ legs\ are\ raised\ up\ and\ seperated\ so\ that\ \nboth\ of\ his\ inner\ thighs\ are\ shown.\ It\ is\ clearly\ evident\ what\ part\ of\ the\ \nmale\ anatomy\ is\ being\ emphasized\ here\ as\ one's\ eyes\ cannot\ help\ but\ focus\ \nupon\ the\ area\ between\ the\ thighs\ and\ alight\ upon\ the\ man's\ genitalia.\n%\nThe\ girl\ can\ probably\ never\ be\ said\ to\ truly\ enjoy\ the\ experience\ if\ she\ is\ \nfearful\ for\ her\ life\ or\ suffering\ the\ trauma's\ of\ the\ victimization\ but\ it\ \nstill\ seems\ funny\ to\ be\ that\ if\ she\ is\ going\ to\ be\ raped\ anyhow\ than\ she\ \nshould\ at\ least\ get\ a\ good\ fuck\ out\ of\ it.\n%\nShe\ smiled\ as\ she\ felt\ her\ finger\ become\ drenched\ in\ her\ mother's\ hot\ cunt\ \njuice.\ She\ was\ surprised.\ She\ reached\ into\ her\ bathrobe\ and\ pulled\ out\ \nKaren's\ panties.\ If\ her\ mother\ had\ not\ been\ snoring\ so\ loudly,\ Karen\ would\ \nhave\ worried\ that\ she\ was\ in\ an\ alcohol\ induced\ coma.\ Karen\ pissed\ for\ a\ \nlong\ time,\ completely\ drenching\ her\ mother\ and\ the\ bed\ in\ warm\ piss.\n%\nMy\ Band,\ although\ composed\ of\ 2\ flute\ players,\ and\ almost\ soothing\ at\ times,\ \nis\ comparable\ to\ the\ sound\ of\ Kenny\ G,\ but\ our\ music\ holds\ messages\ of\ hate,\ \ngenocide,\ and\ anal\ sex.\ We\ played\ the\ title\ track\ off\ our\ album,\ \"Hitler\ was\ \nthe\ World's\ True\ Leader\",\ which\ talks\ about\ killing\ Jews\ and\ acheiving\ Nazi\ \nideological\ clarity.\n%\nNo\ more\ group\ sex\ in\ the\ Jacuzzi,\ got\ it?\ You\ all\ kept\ me\ up\ until\ 4am,\ and\ \nall\ the\ chlorine\ in\ the\ world\ wouldn't\ get\ rid\ of\ the\ shit\ that\ I\ found\ \nswimming\ in\ this\ thing\ 20\ minutes\ ago.\n%\nSCIENCE\ TRIVIA:\ Did\ you\ know\ that\ the\ more\ members\ an\ instrumental\ rock\ band\ \nhas,\ the\ worse\ they\ are?\ Studies\ have\ shown\ that\ the\ optimal\ number\ is\ zero\n%\nTrolls\ are\ utterly\ impervious\ to\ criticism\ (constructive\ or\ otherwise).\ You\ \ncannot\ negotiate\ with\ them\;\ you\ cannot\ cause\ them\ to\ feel\ shame\ or\ \ncompassion\;\ you\ cannot\ reason\ with\ them.\ They\ cannot\ be\ made\ to\ feel\ \nremorse.\ For\ some\ reason,\ trolls\ do\ not\ feel\ they\ are\ bound\ by\ the\ rules\ of\ \ncourtesy\ or\ social\ responsibility.\n%\nI\ didn't\ get\ laid.\ She\ said\ she\ was\ \"bi\ but\ doesn't\ date\ guys\",\ so\ we're\ \njust\ friends.\ God\ I'm\ such\ a\ fucking\ loser.\n%\nSo\ assuming\ that\ I\ know\ how\ to\ write\ cronjobs,\ bash\ scripts\ that\ change\ the\ \ncolor\ of\ my\ prompt,\ and\ DOS\ batch\ scripts,\ which\ language\ should\ I\ try\ \nlearning\ first?\n%\nWho\ is\ John\ Edwards?\ A\ Disingenuous,\ Unaccomplished\ Liberal\ and\ Friend\ to\ \nPersonal\ Injury\ Trial\ Lawyers\n%\nEvenFate's\ members\ form\ so\ clearly\ the\ pool\ of\ their\ music:\ the\ ripples\ of\ \neach\ individual's\ craving\ for\ creation\ and\ the\ ripples\ of\ music\ that\ has\ \ninfluenced\ them.\ Stark,\ bold,\ complex,\ and\ moving,\ Even\ Fate\ intends\ the\ \nlistener\ to\ let\ the\ waves\ inspire\ them,\ so\ the\ waves\ bounce\ back,\ and\ \ninspire\ Even\ Fate\n%\nyou\ guys\ got\ no\ life\ and\ you\ have\ shitty\ computers\ cause\ you\ can\ only\ run\ \nold\ warez\n%\nAn\ Apple\ computer\ user\ has\ at\ least\ three\ of\ the\ following\ features:he\ is\ \ngay\;\ he\ thinks\ he's\ straight,\ but\ yearns\ to\ get\ out\ the\ closet\;\ loves\ the\ \nsmooth\ curves\ of\ plastic\;\ has\ more\ money\ than\ brains\;\ always\ ends\ up\ \n\"accidently\"\ in\ a\ gay\ bar\ to\ \"use\ the\ payphone\"\;\ has\ at\ least\ once\ \nfantasized\ about\ blowing\ Wozniak\ in\ a\ shower\;\ likes\ running\ through\ a\ field\ \nof\ daisies\;\ has\ an\ IKEA\ card\;\ has\ worked\ as\ a\ \"graphic\ designer\"\ for\ at\ \nleast\ two\ years\n%\nOkay\ faggots,\ listen\ up.\ Mandatory\ drug\ tests\ today.\ Only\ this\ time,\ instead\ \nof\ pissing\ in\ a\ cup,\ you'll\ be\ pissing\ on\ each\ other's\ faces.\ Sure\ hope\ you\ \nlike\ asparagus.\n%\nNot\ only\ would\ I\ kick\ your\ ass\ if\ you\ came\ and\ said\ this\ shit\ to\ my\ face,\ I\ \nwould\ shove\ your\ head\ so\ far\ up\ your\ ass,\ you\ would\ smell\ the\ mousse\ in\ your\ \nhair.\ I\ would\ also\ make\ sure\ I\ bend\ your\ your\ ribs\ sequentially\ and\ throw\ \nwater\ on\ your\ face\ the\ whole\ time\ to\ make\ sure\ you\ remained\ conscious\ \nthroughout\ the\ entire\ ordeal.\ Then\ I'd\ call\ 911\ and\ turn\ myself\ in\ to\ the\ \ncops,\ make\ bail\ and\ go\ home.\ You'd\ be\ in\ pain\ for\ a\ long\ time.\ I'd\ be\ home,\ \nin\ bed.\ Self\ defense.\n%\nI\ just\ heard\ sad\ news\ on\ talk\ radio\ -\ Laughingstock/operating\ system\ *BSD\ \nwas\ found\ dead\ in\ its\ Walnut\ Creek\ server\ this\ morning.\ I'm\ sure\ we\ all\ \nwon't\ miss\ it\ -\ even\ if\ you\ likely\ didn't\ use\ it,\ you've\ probably\ been\ \nserved\ a\ webpage\ by\ it.\ Truly\ an\ icon\ of\ uselessness.\n%\nIf\ the\ choice\ of\ a\ sexual\ partner\ were\ protected\ by\ the\ Constitution,\ \nprostitution,\ adultery,\ necrophilia,\ bestiality,\ possession\ of\ child\ \npornography,\ and\ even\ incest\ and\ pedophilia\ also\ would\ be.\ All\ of\ these\ acts\ \nshould\ be\ legal\ as\ long\ as\ no\ one\ is\ coerced.\ They\ are\ illegal\ only\ because\ \nof\ prejudice\ and\ narrowmindedness.\ Some\ rules\ might\ be\ called\ for\ when\ these\ \nacts\ directly\ affect\ other\ people's\ interests.\ For\ incest,\ contraception\ \ncould\ be\ mandatory\ to\ avoid\ risk\ of\ inbreeding.\ For\ prostitution,\ a\ license\ \nshould\ be\ required\ to\ ensure\ prostitutes\ get\ regular\ medical\ check-ups,\ and\ \nthey\ should\ have\ training\ and\ support\ in\ insisting\ on\ use\ of\ condoms.\ This\ \nwill\ be\ an\ advance\ in\ public\ health,\ compared\ with\ the\ situation\ today.\ For\ \nnecrophilia,\ it\ might\ be\ necessary\ to\ ask\ the\ next\ of\ kin\ for\ permission\ if\ \nthe\ decedent's\ will\ did\ not\ authorize\ it.\ Necrophilia\ would\ be\ my\ second\ \nchoice\ for\ what\ should\ be\ done\ with\ my\ corpse,\ the\ first\ being\ scientific\ or\ \nmedical\ use.\ Once\ my\ dead\ body\ is\ no\ longer\ of\ any\ use\ to\ me,\ it\ may\ as\ well\ \nbe\ of\ some\ use\ to\ someone.\n%\nLike\ any\ red-blooded,\ masculine\ man\ of\ the\ male\ gender,\ I\ love\ PVC\ weaponry.\ \nYou\ should\ too.\ If\ the\ concept\ of\ heading\ on\ down\ to\ the\ local\ Home\ Depot\ \nand\ transforming\ \$100\ worth\ of\ random\ pipe\ bits\ into\ a\ killing\ machine\ \ndoesn�t\ appeal\ to\ you,\ you�re\ a\ goddamn\ pansy.\ Also,\ you�re\ probably\ sane\ \nand\ will\ live\ significantly\ longer\ than\ I\ will.\ Nonetheless\ you\ disgust\ me,\ \nand\ I\ take\ comfort\ in\ the\ knowledge\ that\ your\ obituary\ will\ be\ nowhere\ near\ \nas\ humorous\ as\ mine.\n%\nthis\ is\ how\ you\ hit\ on\ a\ woman,\ you\ punch\ her\ in\ the\ guts\ so\ nobody\ sees\ the\ \ndamage.\ then\ you\ grab\ her\ stupid\ girly\ head\ and\ make\ her\ suck\ your\ cock\ and\ \nif\ she\ doesn't\ swallow\ and\ say\ mmm\ mmmm\ hallo\ i\ love\ 2\ suck\ ur\ big\ cock\ \nplease\ give\ it\ to\ me\ baby\"\ then\ you\ need\ to\ rape\ her\ in\ the\ butt\ ok\ don't\ \nlet\ these\ little\ sluts\ get\ away\ with\ showing\ their\ tummies\ and\ bra\ straps\ \nyou\ know\ they\ want\ to\ be\ fucked\ so\ just\ fuck\ them\n%\nniggers\ must\ really\ throw\ some\ nasty\ shit\ out.\ because\ you\ know\ damn\ well\ \nthey'd\ treasure\ most\ of\ what\ white\ people\ throw\ out.\n%\nI\ hope\ you\ have\ an\ ulcer\ and\ vomit\ your\ guts\ all\ over\ the\ ground,\ and\ then\ \nI'll\ do\ a\ saucy\ jig\ on\ your\ entrails\ while\ you\ lay\ face\ down\ bleeding\ out\ \nyour\ nose,\ mouth\ and\ ass.\ \ then\ when\ you\ are\ almost\ dead\ I'll\ jerk\ my\ cock\ \nhard\ and\ start\ throat\ fucking\ you\ your\ stomach\ juices\ will\ make\ for\ a\ spicy\ \nlubricant.\ your\ last\ earthly\ sensation\ will\ be\ of\ hot\ jizz\ squirting\ down\ \nyour\ throat,\ and\ your\ death\ rattle\ will\ be\ more\ of\ a\ death\ gurgle\ as\ you\ \nbelch\ out\ your\ last\ breath\ in\ the\ form\ of\ a\ cum\ bubble\n%\nCassini\ Probe\ touched\ Saturn's\ junk\ liberally.\ It\ strapped\ its\ camera\ into\ \nSaturn's\ rings\ and\ wouldn't\ keep\ its\ offensive\ snapshots\ off\ it.\ It\ was\ \nperforming\ many\ red-filter\ image\ captures.\ Saturn\ couldnt\ believe\ what\ the\ \nfuck\ was\ going\ on.\ Saturn\ told\ the\ Cassini\ probe\ that\ the\ solar\ system\ would\ \nnot\ approve\ of\ a\ human-manufactured\ orbital\ device\ taking\ pictures\ of\ a\ \ngas-giant\ for\ free.\ \ It\ doesnt\ help\ at\ all\ that\ the\ probe\ has\ been\ enroute\ \nfor\ seven\ years.\ I\ hardly\ had\ time\ to\ prepare\ and\ hide\ the\ massive\ alien\ \npopulation\ living\ on\ me.\ How\ am\ I\ possibly\ going\ to\ explain\ that\ to\ the\ \nscientists\ who\ analyze\ the\ images\ in\ detail?\ They'll\ make\ me\ drop\ rings\ in\ \nfront\ of\ all\ the\ other\ planets\ again.\ There\ it\ is.\ The\ aliens\ are\ recieving\ \na\ transmission\ from\ SETI.\ I\ gotta\ go\ to\ a\ different\ solar\ system.\n%\nanyways\ i\ had\ a\ dream\ where\ i\ was\ sol\ badguy\ from\ guilty\ gear\ x\ well\ i\ had\ \nall\ his\ powers\ but\ i\ looked\ like\ me\ which\ made\ it\ 10x\ more\ badass\ and\ i\ was\ \nhella\ fighting\ people\ and\ i\ had\ a\ dreamone\ time\ i\ was\ venom.\ but\ i\ looked\ \nlike\ me,\ and\ my\ suit\ was\ way\ iller\ =\\\n%\nUMMMM\ OK\ WHO\ ARE\ YOU?\ WHERE\ DO\ YOU\ LIVE?\ I\ WILL\ MEET\ YOU\ WHERE\ EVER\ AND\ WHEN\ \nEVER\ YOU\ WANT\ AND\ I\ WILL\ FIGHT\ YOU.\ UR\ A\ BITCH\ ASS\ NIG-GA\ TALKIN\ @#%\$\ LIKE\ \nWHO\ YOU\ ARE.\ DONT\ MAKE\ A\ GAY\ RESPONSE\ TO\ THIS\ AND\ SAY\ \"O\ UR\ NOT\ COOL,\ I\ WONT\ \nFIGHT\ YOU,\ IM\ NOT\ TELLING\ YOU\ WHERE\ I\ LIVE\"\ I\ DONT\ CARE\ HOW\ OLD\ YOU\ ARE\ I\ \nWILL\ STILL\ F-UCK\ YOU\ UP.\ @#%\$.\ UR\ PROBABLY\ A\ SAND\ NIGGER.\ STUPID\ SAND\ \nNIGGERS\ ALWAYS\ GETTING\ INVOLVED\ IN\ STUFF\n%\nAren't\ you\ a\ bit\ fucking\ fat\ to\ ride\ a\ horse?\ what\ gives\ you\ the\ guts\ to\ \ncall\ yourself\ a\ cowboy?\ you\ probably\ haven't\ been\ outside\ in\ so\ long\ you\ \nprobably\ don't\ even\ know\ what\ a\ horse\ even\ looks\ like.\ cowboy\ my\ ASS.\ you\ \nfucking\ poseur.\ you\ are\ just\ a\ nerd.\ go\ back\ to\ your\ computers\ and\ slashdot.\ \na\ horse\ could\ whop\ your\ ass\ any\ day.\n%\nI\ even\ named\ my\ computer\ mouse\ Scabbers\ after\ Ron's\ pet\ in\ the\ Harry\ Potter\ \nbooks.\ It's\ really\ fun.\ Sometimes\ I'll\ talk\ to\ it\ while\ I'm\ working\ as\ \nthough\ it's\ a\ real\ pet.\ \"Hey\ Scabbers,\ I'll\ give\ you\ some\ cheese\ if\ you\ open\ \nthat\ .exe\ file.\"\ Or\ something\ like:\ \"Scabbers,\ you\ little\ rascal,\ did\ you\ \njust\ cause\ my\ computer\ to\ freeze?\"\n%\nYou\ know\ what?\ I\ took\ the\ plunge\ and\ installed\ Linux\ today.\ Top\ Hat\ or\ some\ \nhat\ version.\ But\ now\ I\ have\ a\ problem.\ Im\ getting\ these\ big\ red\ lesions\ all\ \nover\ me.\ Im\ not\ allergic\ to\ anything\ that\ would\ cause\ that,\ and\ I\ havent\ \nbecome\ infected\ with\ any\ diseases,\ my\ doctor\ checked\ me\ out\ fine.\ Then\ I\ \nfigured\ out\ what\ Linux\ really\ is.\ Open\ Sores.\ Linux\ is\ killing\ me!\ Help!\n%\nok.\ i\ installed\ linux.\ and\ it\ brought\ up\ this\ screen.\ i\ needed\ login\ and\ \npassword.\ i\ finally\ figured\ out\ to\ put\ \"root\"\ as\ login\ but\ then\ i\ brings\ up\ \nthis\ thing\ like\ \[root@localhost\ root\]#\ now\ what\ the\ fuck\ am\ i\ supposed\ to\ \nput\ there\n%\nguys\ do\ you\ know\ when\ tupac\ is\ coming\ home?\ Im\ worried\ about\ him.\ He\ wears\ a\ \nbulletproof\ vest\ so\ he\ usually\ is\ safe.\ but\ i\ made\ supper\ for\ him\ and\ he\ \nhasnt\ come\ home\ yet!\ his\ potatoes\ and\ shake\ n\ baked\ chicken\ are\ starting\ to\ \nget\ cold!\n%\nThe\ worst\ terrorist\ attack\ in\ recorded\ history\ occurred\ just\ a\ two\ and\ a\ \nhalf\ years\ ago,\ followed\ by\ a\ Holy\ War\ against\ Islam,\ and\ now\ Israel\ and\ the\ \nPalestinians\ as\ well\ as\ India\ and\ Pakistan\ are\ teetering\ on\ the\ brink\ of\ \ntheir\ own\ war,\ Argentina\ is\ in\ the\ midst\ of\ a\ financial\ crisis,\ America\ is\ \nconsidering\ launching\ attacks\ against\ North\ Korea\ and\ Syria,\ and\ you\ people\ \nhave\ the\ gall\ to\ be\ discussing\ video\ games????\ My\ *god*,\ people,\ GET\ SOME\ \nPRIORITIES!\ The\ bodies\ of\ the\ thousands\ of\ innocent\ civilians\ who\ died\ (and\ \nwill\ die)\ in\ these\ unprecedented\ events\ could\ give\ a\ good\ god\ damn\ about\ \nvideo\ games,\ your\ childish\ image\ macros,\ your\ nerf\ toy\ guns\ and\ whining\ \nabout\ the\ lack\ of\ a\ fun\ workplace,\ your\ Everquest/Diablo/D&D\ fixation,\ the\ \nlatest\ American\ Idol\ episode,\ or\ any\ of\ the\ other\ ways\ you\ are\ 'getting\ on\ \nwith\ your\ life'\ (here's\ a\ hint:\ watching\ American\ Idol\ in\ your\ jammies\ and\ \neating\ a\ bowl\ of\ Shreddies\ is\ *not*\ 'getting\ on\ with\ your\ life').\ The\ souls\ \nof\ the\ victims\ are\ watching\ in\ horror\ as\ you\ people\ squander\ your\ finite,\ \nprecious\ time\ on\ this\ earth\ playing\ video\ games!\ You\ people\ disgust\ me!\n%\nIf\ you\ expect\ companies\ to\ follow\ the\ copyright\ of\ the\ GPL,\ you\ should\ \nsupport\ the\ RIAA\ going\ after\ infringers\ of\ its\ copyright.\ If\ not,\ you're\ a\ \nhypocrite.\n%\nAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHHAH\ YOU\ FAGS\ ACTULLY\ THINK\ NINTENDO\ BEAT\ XBOX\ \nHAHHAHAHAHAHH\ HOW\ AMUSING\ HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHHHHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH\ JUST\ \nGIVE\ IT\ UPHAHHAHHA\ YOUR\ NOT\ GOING\ TO\ WIN\ !!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAH!!!!!!!\ A\ \nNEW\ GAME\ COMING\ TO\ GAY\ CUBE\ CALLED\ PRINCESS\ NINTENDO\ IT\ COMES\ OUT\ THE\ SAME\ \nTIME\ HALO\ 2\ COMES\ OUT\ WHILE\ ILL\ BE\ PLAYING\ HALO\ 2\ YOULL\ BE\ PLAYING\ PRINCSS\ \nNINTENDO\ AHHAHAHHAHAH\ HELP\ MASTER\ BILL\ GATES\ CONQER\ THE\ WOURLD\ AND\ LET\ THE\ \nEVIL\ EMPIRE\ RING\ HAHAHHHAHH\ JOIN\ I\ THINK\ ALL\ GC\ /\ PS2\ OWNERS\ SHOULD\ BE\ SHOT\ \nIN\ A\ FIELD\ DAM\ PS2\ SUCKS\ AND\ GC\ SUCKS\ DAM\ SHAME\ THE\ GC\ IS\ WINNIG\ OVER\ THE\ \nPS2\ HAAHAAHAHHA\ SEE\ BILL\ GATES\ OUR\ XBOX\ LEADER\ WILL\ WIN\ US\ TO\ VICTORY\ DONT\ \nBE\ MAD\ BECUSE\ YOU\ BOUGHT\ THE\ WRONG\ SYTEM\ JUST\ BUY\ AN\ XBOX\ NOW!!!\ AND\ SPARE\ \nYOUR\ SELF\ WHEN\ BILL\ WINS\ THE\ COSOLE\ WAR!!!\ HAHAHAHAHHHHAHHAHHAH7TH\ \nCOLUM!!!!!1!1\ GUES\ S\ WHAT\ YOUR\ USING\ BILL\ GATES\ COMPUTER\ ARENT\ YOU\ GAME\ CUBE\ \nPEPOLE\ HAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHBILL\ GATES\ OWNS\ YOU\ \nHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH!!!\ ENJOY\ ZELDA\ MASTER\ QEST\ WHAT\ A\ GAY\ GAM\ HE\ WILL\ NEVER\ KILL\ \nMC\ LINK\ IS\ A\ FAGGOT\ THAT\ CAN\ TUN\ INTO\ A\ FUCKING\ KID\ !!\ ENJOY\ SUCKY\ GRAPHICS.\n%\nOr\ maybe\ i\ snatched\ your\ ip\ out\ of\ the\ irc\ stream\ and\ ran\ a\ backwards\ trace\ \nagainst\ it,\ but\ hey,\ who\ knows\ right?\ Security\ exists\ for\ those\ who\ do\ not\ \nknow\ how\ to\ break\ it.\n%\nGod\ damn\ it.\ I\ am\ sick\ of\ these\ extremist\ arab\ fucks.\ I\ wish\ we\ would\ turn\ \nthe\ region\ into\ green\ glowing\ glass.\ Don't\ feed\ me\ this\ \"america\ caused\ it\"\ \nbullshit\ either,\ they\ are\ a\ bunch\ of\ fucking\ animals\ and\ should\ be\ treated\ \nas\ such.\n%\nYES\ WE\ KNOW\ IT\ HAS\ DUAL\ XEONS\ NOW\ FOR\ FUCKS\ SAKE\ WILL\ YOU\ STOP\ TWISTING\ \nEVERY\ SINGLE\ CONVERSATION\ AROUND\ JUST\ SO\ YOU\ CAN\ MENTION\ IT\ YOU\ STUPID,\ \nPATHETIC,\ WHINING,\ LIFELESS\ VIRGIN\ PIECE\ OF\ SPOILT\ RICH-KID\ BUTTSUCKING\ SHIT\n%\nBatman\ whipped\ out\ a\ cease\ &\ decist\ from\ his\ utility\ belt.\ he\ slinked\ \ntowards\ me\ slowly\ like\ a\ g\ thug.\ \"I\ believe\ this\ is\ for\ you\"\ batman\ \nbellowed.\ just\ as\ i\ was\ about\ to\ reach\ and\ grab\ the\ legal\ paper\ Batmans\ \nhands\ thrusted\ towards\ my\ bean\ bag\ and\ he\ squeezed\ me\ into\ a\ coma.\ now\ its\ \n10\ years\ later.\ i\ have\ woken\ up.\ something\ smells\ funny.\ there\ is\ the\ batman\ \nsymbol\ on\ my\ bed\ as\ a\ shitstain.\ i\ have\ been\ violated.\ \n%\nHi,\ my\ name\ is\ Najeeri\ Mongo\ and\ I\ am\ a\ quadrapelic\ who\ is\ deaf,\ dumb,\ and\ \nblind.\ I\ also\ have\ a\ very\ blunted\ sense\ of\ touch.\ I\ have\ spent\ months\ \nlearning\ to\ read\ braille\ with\ my\ mouth\ so\ that\ I\ can\ come\ onto\ the\ intenet\ \nand\ ask\ you\ all\ to\ help\ me.\ One\ of\ the\ care\ workers\ is\ touching\ my\ penis,\ a\ \nlot,\ and\ no\ one\ seems\ to\ be\ doing\ anything\ about\ it.\ Please\ respond\ if\ you\ \ncan\ help\ me.\n%\nHave\ you\ eaten\ ground\ beef\ recently?\ Ground\ beef\ is\ the\ result\ of\ everything\ \noutside\ of\ the\ cow's\ bones\ (including\ nerves)\ being\ ground\ up.\ Ground\ beef\ \noften\ contains\ prions\ (misfolded\ proteins)\ which\ due\ to\ mammalian\ protein\ \nmetabolism\ act\ virally\ and\ will\ cause\ you\ to\ come\ down\ with\ \nCreutzfeldt-Jakob\ Disease\ (CJD)\ where\ your\ brain\ slowly\ decays\ due\ to\ holes\ \nforming\ in\ your\ brain,\ as\ the\ proteins\ in\ your\ body\ lose\ their\ ability\ to\ \nfold\ properly.\ Do\ you\ feel\ as\ smart\ as\ you\ were\ last\ week,\ or\ last\ month?\ \nYou\ may\ have\ it.\n%\nPS-\ you'll\ fail\ at\ everything\ you\ ever\ try.\ Leave\ writing\ to\ the\ pros,\ sit\ \nback,\ and\ feel\ the\ germs\ crawling\ all\ over\ your\ amoeba-like\ body.\ What's\ \nthat?\ Did\ you\ leave\ the\ oven\ on?\ Sorry,\ I'm\ so\ itchy,\ I\ can\ feel\ tiny\ mites\ \nburrowing\ into\ the\ skin\ of\ my\ scalp,\ behind\ my\ ears,\ biting\ my\ ankles,\ god,\ \nthey'll\ go\ right\ through\ to\ my\ brain\ if\ I\ don't\ scratch\ them\ out.\ I\ just\ \nremembered\ that\ I\ need\ to\ go\ refold\ all\ my\ clothes!\n%\n(���������)\ (���������)\ FOUR\ HOTDOGS\ (���������)\ (���������)\n%\nYOU'RE\ DOOMED\ TO\ A\ LIFE\ OF\ LONELINESS\ YOU\ WILL\ NEVER\ FIND\ ANYONE\ WHO\ TRULY\ \nLOVES\ YOU\ EVEN\ YOUR\ PARENTS\ REGRET\ YOUR\ BIRTH\ YOU\ SPEND\ ALL\ YOUR\ TIME\ \nCHATTING\ WITH\ FAKE\ FRIENDS\ ON\ THE\ MODEM\ AND\ YOU\ SPEND\ THE\ REST\ OF\ YOUR\ TIME\ \nPLAYING\ WITH\ OPERATING\ SYSTEMS\ AND\ OTHER\ BORING\ SHIT\ GO\ BACK\ TO\ WATCHING\ TV\ \nBECAUSE\ THAT\ ESCAPIST\ SHIT\ IS\ THE\ BEST\ YOU\ WILL\ EVER\ GET\ FAGGOT\ DIE\ DIE\ DIE\ \nDIE\ DIE\ DIE\ DIE\ TIT\ ASS\ NIGGER\n%\nI\ HATE\ FAGS,\ NIGGERS,\ KYKES,\ CUNTS(IF\ IT\ BLEEDS\ IT\ DON'T\ FUCKING\ VOTE\ IF\ YOU\ \nASK\ ME\ YOU\ FUCKING\ FAGS),\ SPICS,\ SLANT\ EYED\ SLOPE\ ASS\ SMALL\ DICKED\ COMPUTER\ \nUSING\ BAD\ DRIVING\ THIEVING\ CHINAMEN/JAP/GOOK\ DUMBASS\ MOTHER\ FUCKERS\ NOW\ ALL\ \nYOU\ ALL\ MOTHER\ FUCKERS\ BETTER\ GET\ WITH\ ME\ AND\ HOP\ ON\ THE\ WHITE\ TRAIN.\ \nFUCKING\ NIGGERS\ DON'T\ HAVE\ SHIT\ ON\ MY\ WHITE\ MAN\ RIFLE,\ YOU\ WANNA\ KNOW\ WHY\ WE\ \nOPRESS\ YOU?\ ITS\ BECAUSE\ YOU\ DIRTY\ THIEVING\ NEGROES\ SMELL\ LIKE\ A\ WHORE'S\ \nASSCRACK\ AND\ DESERVE\ EVERY\ PELLET\ OF\ BUCKSHOT\ IN\ MY\ POINT\ BLANK\ SHOTGUN\ \nBLAST\ TO\ YOUR\ FILTHY\ GUTS.\n%\nO'Brien\ broke\ my\ will\ liberally.\ He\ sent\ me\ to\ room\ 101,\ strapped\ the\ rat\ \ncage\ on\ my\ head,\ and\ would\ not\ keep\ his\ offensive\ rodents\ off\ me.\ He\ was\ \nperforming\ many\ red\ flag\ tortures.\ I\ could\ not\ believe\ what\ the\ fuck\ was\ \ngoing\ on.\ I\ told\ O'Brien\ the\ Spirit\ of\ Man\ would\ not\ approve\ of\ the\ Head\ of\ \nthe\ Outer\ Party\ torturing\ the\ last\ humanist\ for\ free.\ It\ doesn't\ help\ that\ \nthe\ Ministry\ of\ Love\ has\ been\ holding\ me\ prisoner\ for\ months.\ I\ can\ barely\ \nrecognize\ myself!\ What\ am\ I\ going\ to\ tell\ Julia\ when\ she\ comes\ back\ from\ \nroom\ 101\ to\ ask\ me\ why\ the\ fuck\ I\ told\ them\ to\ take\ her\ instead\ of\ me?\ \nShe'll\ make\ me\ commit\ thoughtcrime\ in\ front\ of\ everyone\ again.\ There\ it\ is.\ \nThe\ table\ next\ to\ mine\ is\ standing\ up\ for\ the\ Two\ Minute\ Hate.\ I\ gotta\ go.\ I\ \nlove\ Big\ Brother!\n%\nSaying\ that\ Java\ is\ nice\ because\ it\ works\ on\ all\ OS's\ is\ like\ saying\ that\ \nanal\ sex\ is\ nice\ because\ it\ works\ on\ all\ genders.\n%\nThe\ planes\ on\ 9/11\ must\ have\ run\ Windows\ ME\ because\ they\ sure\ crashed\ \nquickly.\ Not\ a\ lot\ of\ uptime,\ if\ you\ get\ my\ drift.\n%\nI'm\ selling\ a\ wireless\ Dreamcast\ Modchip,\ you\ dont\ even\ need\ to\ open\ it\ up!\ \nyou\ put\ it\ just\ to\ the\ right\ of\ your\ console\ (where\ the\ fan\ is)\ and\ it\ will\ \nwork.\ I\ have\ 10\ on\ stock,\ 5\$\ each,\ or\ 10\ for\ 45\$\ ,\ msg\ me\ if\ you\ are\ \nintressted\n%\nYour\ hands\ are\ filthy,\ covered\ in\ vast\ amounts\ of\ fungi,\ bacteria,\ and\ \nviruses.\ Underneath\ your\ fingernails\ is\ even\ worse.\ Also,\ the\ stove\ is\ on.\n%\nI\ think\ the\ PRESIDENT\ is\ the\ BOMB.\ SHOOT,\ sometimes,\ I\ think\ about\ GEORGE\ W.\ \nBUSH\ and\ wonder\ if\ he\ would\ like\ the\ ISLAMABAD\ deli\ on\ 14th\ st\ here\ in\ \nWASHINGTON,\ DC.\ I\ think\ the\ falafel\ is\ to\ DIE\ for.\ Or\ even\ to\ KILL\ for.\ It's\ \nso\ good\ it\ makes\ me\ wanna\ declare\ a\ falafel\ JIHAD\ on\ all\ the\ other\ INFIDEL\ \nfalafel\ stands\ in\ the\ capital\ --\ from\ those\ near\ THE\ WHITE\ HOUSE\ to\ those\ \nnear\ CAPITAL\ HILL.\ they\ give\ me\ heartburn,\ though.\ it's\ like\ they\ \nASSASSINATE\ my\ belly.\ it\ really\ KILLS\ me.\n%\nthe\ link\ is\ only\ old\ because\ you\ are\ a\ loser\ and\ have\ nothing\ better\ to\ do\ \nthan\ FIND\ THE\ MOST\ CUTTING\ EDGE\ LINKS\ ON\ THE\ INTERNET.\n%\nA\ recent\ incident\ (last\ night)\ not\ really\ wanking\ but\ being\ wanked.\ My\ gf\ \nwas\ tossing\ me\ off\ in\ her\ parents\ spare\ bedroom\ as\ she\ didn't\ like\ giving\ me\ \nhead,\ as\ she\ always\ thought\ it\ might\ \"taste\ funny\".\ Anyway,\ lying\ bollock\ \nnaked,\ being\ careful\ not\ to\ make\ too\ much\ noise,\ my\ gf\ suddenly,\ and\ without\ \nwarning\ decided\ to\ suck\ my\ boaby.\ I\ let\ out\ a\ \"gWaARgh!\"\ and\ started\ spewing\ \na\ massive\ amount\ of\ testicular\ dairy\ into\ her\ mouth.\ Her\ dad\ then\ burst\ in\ \nto\ \ o\ see\ what\ I\ was\ doing\ to\ his\ daughter,\ she\ shits\ herself,\ and\ sprays\ my\ \ncum\ all\ over\ me.\ I\ was\ nearly\ sick,\ and\ she\ just\ pissed\ herself\ lauging.\ Her\ \nDad\ dissapeared\ very\ quickly,\ and\ has\ been\ making\ subtle\ jokes\ ever\ since\ in\ \nthe\ presence\ of\ everyone!\n%\nyour\ modem\ touched\ my\ junk\ liberally.\ he\ strapped\ me\ in\ to\ his\ comms\ rack\ \nand\ he\ couldnt\ keep\ his\ offensive\ rj11s\ off\ of\ me.\ he\ was\ performing\ many\ \nred\ flag\ RX/TXs.\ i\ couldnt\ believe\ what\ the\ fuck\ was\ going\ on.\ i\ told\ your\ \nmodem\ the\ internet\ would\ not\ approve\ of\ a\ telecom\ device\ touching\ an\ \nunderage\ kid\ for\ free.\ it\ doesn't\ help\ at\ all\ that\ your\ modem\ has\ been\ \nlagged\ to\ hell\ after\ touching\ everyone's\ junk.\ he\ can\ hardly\ whistle\ at\ 300\ \nbaud\ after\ touching\ Chali's\ diseased\ junk.\ how\ is\ he\ possibly\ going\ to\ \nexplain\ this\ to\ the\ internet\ when\ he\ is\ responsible\ for\ 99%\ packet\ loss?\ \nthey'll\ make\ him\ drop\ carrier\ in\ front\ of\ the\ whole\ network\ again.\ there\ it\ \nis.\ al\ gore\ just\ called\ and\ asked\ why\ your\ modem\ hasn't\ responded.\ he\ has\ to\ \ngo.\n%\nTurn\ ons\ include:\ Star\ trek\ TNG\ slasher\ fanfics\ (_NO_\ rikker)\ and\ \nfabricating\ an\ intricate\ web\ of\ self\ delusion.\ Turn\ offs\ include\ the\ word\ \n\"Kawaii\"\ and\ the\ rancid\ smell\ of\ my\ own\ festering\ ass-crack.\n%\nJohn\ Stamos\ is\ getting\ divorced\ just\ as\ the\ Olsen\ twins\ turn\ 18.\ \nCoincidence?\ I\ think\ not.\ I\ think\ someone\ is\ going\ to\ be\ entering\ the\ \nbackdoors\ of\ two\ little\ houses\ very\ soon.\n%\nDid\ you\ know\ that\ spiders\ cannot\ physically\ die\ of\ natural\ causes?\ If\ kept\ \nsafe,\ a\ spider\ can\ continue\ to\ live\ and\ grow\ larger\ for\ a\ theoretically\ \nunlimited\ amount\ of\ time.\ In\ fact,\ in\ China\ there\ exists\ a\ collection\ of\ \n'holy'\ spiders,\ hatched\ some\ 2,800\ years\ ago\ during\ the\ height\ of\ the\ \nMang-Tsun\ dynasty.\n%\nHitler\ was\ a\ horrible\ monster.\ Is\ it\ even\ worth\ debating?\ He\ was\ a\ failure\ \nas\ a\ leader\ and\ a\ human\ being\;\ this\ is\ universally\ accepted.\ Why\ even\ \ndiscuss\ the\ actions\ of\ this\ mad\ demagogue?\ I\ mean,\ think\ about\ it...\ the\ guy\ \nrises\ to\ a\ position\ of\ absolute\ power,\ with\ (arguably)\ the\ most\ powerful\ \narmy\ in\ Europe.\ \ He's\ Blitzkrieging\ all\ over\ the\ place,\ Churchill\ is\ trying\ \nto\ appease\ his\ demands\ to\ avoid\ a\ full-out\ war,\ he's\ essentially\ \nunstoppable:\ and\ then\ comes\ the\ horror\ of\ the\ Holocaust.\ What\ kind\ of\ \ndemonic\ possesion\ would\ cause\ a\ man\ in\ his\ position\ to\ use\ his\ power\ to\ \npractically\ wipe\ out\ the\ jewish\ people\ and\ culture\ in\ Germany?\ The\ final\ \ndeath\ toll\ was\ estimated\ at\ 4-6\ million\ jews,\ despite\ the\ -years-\ in\ power\ \nthat\ they\ could\ have\ been\ executing\ the\ Jewish\ people.\ The\ death\ toll\ could\ \nhave\ been\ much,\ much\ higher.\ Hitler\ was\ a\ disgrace\ to\ the\ human\ race,\ more\ a\ \nmonster\ than\ man.\ Even\ discussing\ his\ actions,\ despite\ his\ motives,\ is\ an\ \naffront\ to\ all\ that\ is\ pure\ and\ good.\ The\ most\ unfortunate\ thing\ is\ that\ he\ \ntook\ his\ own\ life\ before\ the\ proper\ punishment\ could\ be\ bestowed\ on\ him\ for\ \nhis\ terrible\ failure.\n%\nTaking\ an\ idea\ that\ I\ came\ up\ with\ a\ few\ years\ ago,\ but\ just\ never\ found\ \ntime\ to\ execute\ (well\ they\ really\ didn't\ steal\ this\ idea)\ they\ took\ the\ \noriginal\ Legend\ of\ Zelda\ \"overworld\"\ theme\ for\ the\ Nintendo\ Entertainment\ \nsystem,\ put\ a\ stronger\ beat\ over\ it,\ and\ turned\ it\ into\ a\ great\ rap\ song.\n%\nXTC\ RAVEZ\ CANDY\ VISORZ\ WATER\ BOTTLEZ\ LOVE\ PEACE\ TRIPLE\ STACKED\ PAUL\ \nOAKENFOLD\ PLUR\ GLOWSTIX\ LOCKJAW\ PACIFIARS\ TURNTABLES\ PLUR\ EX\ STROBE\ LIGHTS\ \nLASER\ SHOW\ UNDERGROUND\ RAVE\ RAVE\ RAVE\ XXX\ FUCK\ FUCK\ FUCK\ LOVE\ EVERY1\ KANDY\ \nBRACELETZ\ ACID\ WEED\ POT\ DRUG\ DRUG\ DRUG\ SPESHAL\ K\ TRANKWILIZER\ EXXXST\n%\nthat\ does\ it.\ i\ am\ going\ to\ write\ a\ 4\ panel\ gag\ manga\ about\ this\ very\ \nsituation,\ and\ it's\ going\ to\ cast\ you\ in\ a\ very\ unfavorable\ light.\n%\nhello\ are\ you\ familiar\ with\ playagain\ website\ if\ not\ maybe\ you\ can\ still\ \nhelp\ i\ have\ downloaded\ a\ file\ from\ there,\ but\ not\ just\ there\ a\ chd\ file\ \nusing\ bittorrent\ and\ the\ file\ i\ cannot\ open\ th\ extract\ whats\ in\ there\ i\ do\ \nnot\ have\ a\ program\ to\ open\ it\ or\ even\ know\ what\ format\ it's\ in\ the\ file\ has\ \na\ white\ backgroung\ and\ a\ microsoft\ windows\ flag\ on\ it.\ please\ help\n%\nI\ just\ ate\ some\ fried\ chicken.\ The\ breasts\ were\ juicy,\ and\ the\ buns\ were\ \nsoft\ and\ warm.\ Afterwards,\ the\ division\ manager\ of\ Popeyes\ came\ up\ to\ my\ \ntable\ and\ asked\ me\ how\ the\ meal\ was.I\ said\ I\ was\ satisfied,\ but\ the\ meal\ \nlacked\ a\ certain\ je\ ne\ sais\ quoi.\ He\ apologized\ profusely,\ and\ said\ he\ had\ \nsomething\ to\ show\ me\ that\ would\ make\ up\ for\ it.\ He\ lead\ me\ to\ the\ back\ of\ \nthe\ popeyes,\ to\ a\ room\ soaked\ from\ floor\ to\ ceiling\ in\ blood.\ In\ the\ center\ \nof\ it\ was\ a\ live\ horse,\ chained\ by\ all\ four\ legs\ to\ the\ structural\ supports\ \nof\ the\ warehouse\ like\ room.\ As\ I\ watched,\ employees\ of\ the\ popeyes\ cut\ large\ \nsections\ from\ the\ horse,\ which\ was\ whinneying\ and\ screaming\ in\ horror,\ the\ \nremaining\ sections\ of\ its\ body\ covered\ with\ festering\ sores\ and\ a\ froth\ of\ \nsweat.\ The\ popeyes\ employees\ took\ the\ chunks\ of\ horseflesh\ and\ sliced\ them\ \ninto\ pieces,\ then\ they\ rooted\ around\ through\ the\ bags\ of\ trash\ strewn\ around\ \nthe\ room\ to\ find\ discarded\ chicken\ bones.\ They\ quickly\ tenderized\ the\ meat\ \nwith\ sledgehammers\ and\ fed\ it\ into\ a\ machine\ which\ formed\ the\ horsemeat\ \naround\ the\ bones,\ then\ they\ breaded\ and\ deepfried\ it.\ I\ asked\ the\ division\ \nmanager\ why\ he\ had\ led\ me\ back\ to\ this\ place,\ and\ he\ pointed\ at\ the\ steed's\ \nrump,\ the\ diseased\ asshole\ puckering\ rythmically\ with\ terror,\ squirting\ pus\ \nwith\ each\ convulsion.\ \{We're\ just\ about\ to\ use\ that\ section,\ would\ you\ like\ \na\ crack\ at\ it\ first?\}\ I\ quickly\ unzipped\ my\ pants\ and\ wasted\ no\ time\ jamming\ \nmy\ erect\ penis\ into\ the\ stallion's\ defenseless\ asshole.\ With\ each\ thrust,\ I\ \ndonkey\ punched\ the\ horse\ in\ the\ back\ of\ the\ head,\ making\ it\ clench\ its\ ass\ \neven\ tighter.\ I\ came\ just\ as\ the\ horse\ died.\ I\ was\ delighted.\ Popeyes\ \ndefinitely\ went\ the\ extra\ mile\ to\ make\ me\ a\ satisfied\ customer.\n%\nEat\ your\ own\ shit.\ That's\ a\ great\ way\ to\ start\ then\ move\ on\ to\ another\ hot\ \nguy's\ load.\ The\ smell\ is\ a\ big\ turn-on\ for\ me\ and\ that\ gets\ me\ going\ and\ \nwanting\ to\ eat\ the\ guy's\ shit.\ My\ first\ experiences\ with\ was\ a\ guy\ smoking\ a\ \ncigar...and\ I\ gotta\ be\ honest,\ that\ still\ gets\ me\ going.It\ helps\ if\ you\ have\ \na\ feeder\ who\ can\ feed\ me\ slow\ and\ not\ all\ at\ once...but\ then\ some\ guys\ like\ \nit\ all\ it\ once\ I\ guess...different\ strokes\ for\ different\ folks.\ What\ I\ would\ \nsuggest\ for\ someone\ who\ finds\ the\ smell\ harsh\ is\ try\ eating\ slowly\ if\ \npossible\ and\ holding\ your\ breath\ at\ first...it\ will\ come\ with\ time\ if\ you\ \nlet\ it.Sometimes\ it\ helps\ to\ lie\ under\ a\ rim\ seat\ with\ a\ mirror\ nearby\ so\ \nyou\ can\ see\ how\ much\ your\ partner\ is\ enjoying\ it\ too...this\ is\ a\ real\ turn\ \non\ for\ me...giving\ pleasure\ gets\ me\ pleasure\ I\ find...and\ vice\ versa...\n%\nThere\ is\ a\ new\ online\ code\ out,\ kinda\ lol\ and\ brb.\ \ This\ one\ is\ a\ little\ \ndifferent\ though.\ \ You\ all\ know\ how\ it\ feels\ when\ you're\ talking\ to\ someone\ \nonline,and\ your\ Mom\ is\ standig\ right\ behind\ you,\ reading\ every\ word\ that\ is\ \non\ the\ screen.Then\ of,\ course,the\ other\ person\ swears\ \ or\ talks\ about\ how\ \nmuch\ you\ luv\ your\ crush\ or\ something\ and\ your\ Mom\ reads\ it\ and\ tells\ you\ to\ \nget\ offline\ that\ instant,\ and\ not\ talk\ to\ that\ person\ anymore.\ Well,\ what\ \ncan\ we\ do\ about\ that?\ To\ solve\ this\ problem,\ now\ we\ have\ started\ the\ \{Code\ \n9\}\ system.\ In\ code\ 9,\ u\ simply\ press\ 9\ when\ your\ parent\ or\ sibing\ is\ \nwatching\ over\ your\ shoulder\ as\ you\ type\ That\ way,\ the\ other\ person\ will\ know\ \nwhat\ you\ are\ talkin\ about,\ and\ begin\ a\ conversation\ about\ homework\ or\ \nsomething.\ When\ your\ Mom\ or\ dad\ leaves,\ press\ 99\ to\ let\ the\ person\ know\ that\ \nthey\ r\ gone,\ so\ u\ can\ have\ a\ normal\ conversation\ again.\ NOW,\ SEND\ THIS\ TO\ \nEVERY1\ YOU\ KNOW,\ SO\ CODE\ 9\ CAN\ GO\ INTO\ EFFECT!!!\ IT\ IS\ VERY\ IMPORTANT\ YOU\ \nSEND\ THIS\ EMAIL\ TO\ EVERYONE\ YOU\ KNOW>>\n%\nBEST\ DAM\ WAY\ TO\ COOK\ COLLAD\ GREENS\ BE\ REAL\ DAMN\ SIMPLE.\ \ SNATCH\ 2\ O'\ 3\ DEM\ \nPUFFED\ HAM\ HOX\ N\ PUT\ EM\ IN\ SOME\ FAT\ ASS\ POT\ WIT\ SOME\ \ WATA.\ \ BRING\ DA\ SHIT\ \nTO\ A\ BOIL\ N\ LET\ DAT\ SHIT\ BOIL\ FO\ 4\ HOURS.\ \ ADD\ MO\ WATA\ BITCH\ BFO\ \ YO\ ASS\ \nGONNA\ LET\ DAT\ SHIT\ DRY\ OUT\ LIKE\ A\ MOFUKKA.\ \ DA\ BRAINSTORM\ BE\ TA\ LET\ DAT\ SHIT\ \nBOIL\ TIL\ DEM\ HOX\ BE\ ALL\ FALLIN\ PART\ N\ SHIT.\ \ COOK\ EM\ REAL\ DAMN\ THOROUGH\ OR\ A\ \nNIGGA\ BE\ GETTIN\ LOCKJAW.\ \ GRAB\ DA\ GREENS\ AN\ SEPARATE\ DEM\ LEAVES.\ BDP\ USE\ DA\ \nSCREEN\ OFF\ THA\ NAYBUHS\ CRIB.\ TASTE\ DEM\ GREENS,\ MAKE\ SURE\ THEY\ BE\ ALL\ SPICED\ \nUP\ LIKE\ A\ NIGGA\ ON\ A\ MEXI\ HO\ N\ FLAVA\ IF\ NESSARY.\ SERVE\ WIT\ CHIITLINS.\ NOW\ U\ \nBE\ KNOW\ WHAT\ GREENS\ BE\ LIKE\ BEAT\ DOWN\ POSSE\ STYLE.\n%\nWhile\ jerking\ off\ with\ some\ sort\ of\ lubricant,\ mount\ something\ like\ the\ \ncorner\ of\ the\ bathroom\ sink\ so\ that\ your\ balls\ are\ rubbing.\ \ This\ adds\ \nintense\ pleasure\ to\ your\ nut\ sack.\ \ Also,\ try\ lubing\ up\ something\ like\ your\ \ntoothbrush\ handle\ and\ stick\ it\ up\ your\ ass\ while\ jerking...it\ hits\ the\ \nG-spot\ nicely.\n%\nSoftware\ piracy\ is\ WRONG!\ You\ are\ stealing\ from\ hard\ working\ programmers.\ \nYour\ IP\ HAS\ been\ noted,\ and\ is\ being\ forwarded\ to\ the\ SPA\ with\ a\ \nreccomendation\ that\ they\ investigate\ your\ CRIMINAL\ activity.\ Please\ delete\ \nall\ your\ pirated\ software\ before\ you\ are\ arrested!\n%\nLinux\ is\ illegal!\ You\ are\ breaking\ the\ law,\ and\ hurting\ yourself\ and\ your\ \nfamily\ with\ your\ ILLEGAL\ SOFTWARE.\ Your\ ip\ has\ been\ noted\ and\ is\ being\ \nforwarded\ to\ the\ SPA\ with\ a\ reccomendation\ that\ they\ investigate\ your\ \nCRIMINAL\ ACTIVITY.\ Please\ destroy\ all\ your\ unpatriotic\ linux\ software\ before\ \nyou\ are\ arrested!\n%\nI'm\ a\ guy\ and\ my\ friend\ is\ a\ guy\ and\ for\ whatever\ reason\ I've\ always\ wanted\ \nto\ ejaculate\ in\ his\ face.\ For\ his\ birthday\ one\ year,\ I\ decided\ to\ bake\ him\ a\ \nbirthday\ cake.\ In\ the\ middle\ of\ the\ baking,\ I\ decided\ I'll\ ejaculate\ in\ the\ \ncake.\ He\ ate\ the\ cake.\ Therefore\ I\ indirectly\ ejaculated\ in\ his\ face.\n%\nMy\ favorite\ way\ to\ masturbate\ is\ to\ purchase\ some\ Nickelodeon\ Gak.\ For\ those\ \nwho\ don't\ know\ its\ a\ strange\ little\ gel\ substance\ that's\ really\ cold\ and\ \nslippery.\ It\ makes\ me\ feel\ like\ I'm\ having\ sex\ with\ an\ alien.\n%\nCALLING\ ALL\ 3RD\ GRADERS!\ How\ can\ you\ people\ think\ this\ game\ is\ entertaining?\ \ni\ bet\ you\ also\ like\ pokemon,\ rayman,\ tak\ and\ the\ power\ of\ really\ stupid\ \ngames,\ and\ megaman\ battle\ network.\ \ why\ dont\ you\ grow\ up\ and\ play\ some\ real\ \ngames\ like\ Resident\ Evil.\ Oh\ wait,\ i\ forgot,\ your\ too\ dumb\ and\ your\ mommy\ \nwont\ let\ you\ buy\ M-rated\ games.\ BOOO-HOOO!\ or\ the\ greatest\ game\ ever\ forged\ \nby\ mankind....DIABLO\ 2!!!\n%\nMMMM........mmmm\ i'm\ abit\ confusing\ right\ now......why\ will\ they\ eat\ their\ \nown\ poo-poo\ where\ it\ smell\ so\ terrible?\ Actually,\ mushu\ is\ very\ good\ in\ her\ \ntoilet\ training.\ She'll\ only\ pee\ &\ poo\ on\ the\ newspaper\ i\ prepared\ for\ her.\ \nBut\ she\ eats\ it\ when\ i'm\ away!\ After\ i\ beat\ her\ twice,\ she\ seems\ to\ bark\ at\ \nthe\ poo\ first\ before\ she\ goes\ near\ it.\ Then\ she'll\ smell\ it\ &\ play\ with\ it.\ \nThen\ she'll\ put\ everything\ into\ her\ mouth!!!!!\ Yucks!!!\ But\ i\ didn't\ get\ the\ \nchance\ to\ see\ it\ but\ my\ housemates\ did.\n%\nyeah\ it\ si\ ok\ bcuz\ if\ an\ older\ hamster\ itz\ his\\her\ own\ poo\ they\ get\ the\ \nmineral\ and\ vitamins\ thats\ left\ behind\ and\ was\ missed\ so\ it\ go\ though\ 2\ \ntimes\ and\ for\ the\ babys\ it\ is\ ok\ bcuz\ they\ need\ to\ eat\ the\ older\ hamster\ poo\ \nso\ their\ stomach\ can\ get\ the\ bacteria\ and\ other\ stuff\ so\ it\ can\ help\ the\ \nbaby\ im\ not\ saying\ to\ pick\ up\ poo\ and\ stick\ it\ in\ the\ nest\ they\ willd\ o\ it\ \nthem\ self......(you\ wont\ see\ them)\n%\n2\ to\ the\ izzle\ and\ 3\ to\ the\ shizzle,\ see\ you\ on\ the\ flopside.\ your\ friend,\ \nRiley\ Michel\n%\nMy\ band,\ although\ hardcore,\ and\ almost\ scary\ at\ times,\ is\ comparable\ to\ the\ \nsound\ of\ Limp\ Bizkit,\ but\ our\ music\ holds\ messages\ of\ much\ value.\ We\ played\ \nthe\ title\ track\ off\ our\ album,\ \"This\ Road,\"\ which\ talks\ about\ working\ hard\ \nto\ achieve\ goals\ in\ life.\n%\nI\ FOUND\ THIS\ REALLY\ COOL\ GAME\ CALLED\ EVERQUEST\ EVER\ HEARD\ OF\ IT\ LET\ ME\ TELL\ \nU\ ABOUT\ MY\ ADVENTURES\ BTW\ I\ USE\ CHEETO\ CRUMBS\ FOR\ BABY\ POWDER\ WHEN\ I\ GET\ \nMOISTURE\ PROBLEMS\ IN\ MY\ CROTCH\n%\nmy\ name\ is\ Akmar\ and\ i\ am\ 7\ yrs\ old\ and\ dad\ tied\ me\ in\ the\ basement\ and\ tell\ \nme\ to\ have\ all\ dos\ game\ by\ 7\ o\ clock\ or\ i\ get\ no\ food\ plz\ help\n%\nI'm\ not\ a\ goth.\ Many\ goths\ say\ this,\ but\ I'm\ really\ not\ one.\ Well,\ OK,\ I\ \nwear\ black.\ And\ I\ like\ goth\ music.\ And\ regularly\ go\ to\ goth\ clubs.\ Argh,\ and\ \nI've\ been\ known\ to\ wear\ silly\ goth\ outfits\ when\ I\ go.\ But\ I'm\ still\ not\ a\ \ngoth.\n%\nI've\ learned\ over\ the\ last\ week\ that\ I\ really\ like\ oral\ sex.\ I've\ learned\ \nthat\ every\ guy\ tastes\ differently\ and\ overall\ I\ like\ the\ taste.\ But.\ Cum\ is\ \nbest\ served\ fresh\ and\ hot.\ Cold\ cum\ is\ not\ my\ idea\ of\ a\ good\ meal.\n%\nI\ may\ not\ be\ as\ tech\ savvy\ as\ Linus\ Torvalds,\ but\ I\ know\ my\ way\ around\ the\ \nWindows\ registry.\n%\nI\ really\ cant\ wait\ to\ get\ the\ money\ for\ the\ full\ version\ and\ my\ own\ server\ \nwith\ my\ clan\ so\ I\ can\ kick\ fags.\ Its\ amazing\ to\ me\ the\ capacity\ some\ people\ \nhave\ for\ being\ assholes\ and\ losers\ in\ a\ video\ game\n%\nIRAQI\ PRISONERS\ TORTURED?\ THIS\ IS\ NO\ DIFFERENT\ THAN\ WHAT\ HAPPENS\ AT\ THE\ \nSKULL\ &\ BONES\ INITIATION...I'M\ TALKING\ ABOUT\ PEOPLE\ HAVING\ A\ GOOD\ TIME.\ \nTHESE\ PEOPLE\ --\ YOU\ EVER\ HEARD\ OF\ EMOTIONAL\ RELEASE?\ YOU\ EVER\ HEARD\ OF\ \nNEEDING\ TO\ BLOW\ SOME\ STEAM\ OFF?\n%\n\"If\ a\ man\ finds\ a\ girl\ who\ is\ a\ virgin,\ who\ is\ not\ engaged,\ and\ seizes\ her\ \nand\ lies\ with\ her\ and\ they\ are\ discovered,\ then\ the\ man\ who\ lay\ with\ her\ \nshall\ give\ to\ the\ girl's\ father\ fifty\ \{shekels\}\ of\ silver,\ and\ she\ shall\ \nbecome\ his\ wife\ because\ he\ has\ violated\ her\;\ he\ cannot\ divorce\ her\ all\ his\ \ndays.\"\ (Deuteronomy\ 22:28-29,\ NASB)\ \ Can\ you\ imagine\ the\ mental\ torment\ and\ \nterror\ such\ a\ woman\ would\ endure\ after\ being\ married\ to\ her\ rapist?\n%\nChrist\ clearly\ came\ to\ destroy\ Judaism\ and\ had\ nothing\ but\ contempt\ for\ the\ \nJews.\ He\ rejected\ their\ laws\ and\ customs,\ called\ them\ the\ spawn\ of\ Satan,\ \nand\ basically\ condemned\ them\ to\ hell.\ How\ can\ anyone\ deny\ that\ the\ Jews\ were\ \ndirectly\ responsible\ for\ the\ death\ of\ Christ\ when\ Christ\ himself\ directly\ \nblames\ the\ Jews\ prior\ to\ his\ death?\ There\ is\ no\ Judeo-Christian\ religion,\ \ntradition,\ or\ anything\ else.\ There\ is\ a\ war\ between\ God\ and\ the\ children\ of\ \nSatan\ (Jews)\ that\ God\ will\ win,\ but\ nothing\ else.\ To\ speak\ of\ a\ \nJudeo-Christian\ tradition,\ is\ like\ speaking\ of\ a\ Satanic-Christian\ tradition.\n%\nYo,\ dawg,\ are\ you\ hitting\ on\ me?\ God,\ I\ hate\ fags!\ I\ wish\ one\ was\ here\ right\ \nnow.\ I'd\ make\ him\ fuck\ me\ up\ the\ ass\ and\ jerk\ off\ all\ over\ my\ face.\ And\ then\ \nI'd\ lick\ his\ nipples\ while\ cupping\ his\ balls\ in\ my\ hands\ and\ be\ like,\ 'Is\ \nthat\ how\ you\ like\ it?\ Huh?\ Is\ that\ how\ you\ like\ it,\ fag?'\ And\ then\ I'd\ make\ \nhim\ take\ a\ dump\ on\ my\ chest\ while\ I\ masturbated.\ That'd\ teach\ that\ goddamn\ \nqueer.\n%\nI'm\ Jordan.\ I\ just\ wanted\ to\ see\ what\ my\ rating\ is,\ so\ please\ be\ honest.\ I'm\ \na\ good\ guy\ with\ a\ nice\ heart,\ and\ I\ love\ to\ read\ poetry.\ I\ am\ a\ full\ time\ \nchristian\ and\ I\ love\ the\ world.\ Live\ life\ to\ the\ fullest.\ Peace.\n%\nEver\ since\ I\ was\ three\ I\ knew\ that\ something\ was\ something\ different\ in\ my\ \nsexual\ preferences,\ as\ time\ went\ on\ I\ realized\ that\ I\ liked\ anime\ babes\ and\ \nHentai.\ Ever\ since\ then\ I\ have\ been\ looking\ at\ anime\ porn\ and\ such,\ I`m\ not\ \nattracted\ to\ real\ girls\ that\ much.\ If\ I\ see\ a\ girl\ naked\ I\ won`t\ like\ it\ but\ \nIf\ I\ see\ hentai\ I`m\ all\ in\ for\ it.\ Since\ I`m\ a\ christian\ I`m\ wondering\ if\ \nGod\ made\ me\ this\ way\ for\ punishment\ or\ something,\ I\ don`t\ blame\ him\ at\ all.\ \nHe\ didn`t\ have\ to\ make\ me\ anyway\ so\ I\ thank\ him\ for\ simply\ making\ me.\ Anyway\ \nis\ it\ normal\ for\ me\ to\ like\ anime\ babes\ or\ not?\ Should\ I\ tell\ my\ parents\ or\ \nhide\ this\ secret\ from\ them?\ I`m\ looking\ at\ this\ HOT\ anime\ babe\ in\ her\ bra\ \nand\ panties\ and\ I`m\ hard\ as\ heck!\ But\ is\ this\ a\ sin?\n%\nLike\ you've\ ever\ been\ to\ an\ arcade.\ The\ skin\ on\ your\ back\ would\ peel\ off\ if\ \nyou\ ever\ extricated\ yourself\ from\ your\ oily\ throne\ of\ cheeto\ crumbs\ and\ \nmountain\ dew\ stains.\n%\nIm\ in\ the\ middle\ east.\ Middle\ eastern\ people\ may\ have\ dark\ skin\ like\ a\ \ngrl.......face\ it\ bitch...ur\ a\ motherfuckin\ dick\ suckin\ man\ \nhoe!!!!!!!!!.........ur\ a\ faget\ ass\ punk\ pussy\ lil\ girl......ur\ da\ gayest\ \nperson\ ever........go\ to\ hell\ bitch!!!!\n%\nyour\ fuckin\ gay\ you\ should\ be\ shot\ and\ put\ in\ a\ gas\ chamber\ you\ fuckin\ peice\ \nof\ trailer\ trash....you\ put\ your\ moms\ dick\ back\ in\ your\ mouth\ and\ shut\ the\ \nfuck\ up\ the\ song\ fuckin\ rules\n%\nI�AM�CAUSING�YOUR�XTERM�TO�SCROLL�THE�CAUSE�OF�YOUR�XTERM�SCROLLING�IS:�ME�\n%\nI\ thought\ ocd\ was\ like\ a\ car,\ too,\ but\ then\ my\ psychiatrist\ suggested\ that\ I\ \ndon't\ have\ to\ wash\ and\ wax\ my\ car\ and\ walk\ around\ it\ three\ times\ every\ time\ \nbefore\ I\ drive\ (some\ of\ the\ paint\ is\ comming\ off,\ and\ it\ is\ only\ a\ 2002\ \nlumina)\ so\ I\ tried\ not\ doing\ it\ and\ that\ very\ same\ day,\ I\ got\ in\ a\ car\ \naccident\ and\ they\ had\ to\ amputate\ part\ of\ my\ foot.\ Luckily\ I\ walked\ around\ \nthe\ car\ ONCE,\ or\ I\ might\ have\ been\ killed!\ I\ used\ to\ think\ cutting\ was\ self\ \ndestructive,\ but\ that\ was\ before\ it\ made\ me\ rich,\ famous,\ and\ helped\ me\ meet\ \nthe\ love\ of\ my\ life.\ Boy\ am\ I\ glad\ I\ never\ put\ down\ the\ razor!\ If\ you\ care\ \nabout\ yourself,\ cut\ EVERY\ DAY.\ If\ your\ boyfriend\ has\ OCD,\ you\ can\ Trick\ him\ \nout\ of\ it.\ Try\ moving\ his\ car\ keys\ when\ he's\ not\ looking,\ changing\ the\ \ningredients\ in\ his\ food,\ swich\ his\ computer\ to\ spanish\ text\ by\ default,\ make\ \nsubtle\ hints\ that\ you\ are\ sleeping\ around\ on\ him.\ This\ will\ jog\ his\ brain\ \ninto\ working\ correctly,\ and\ he'll\ know\ you're\ only\ doing\ it\ because\ you\ love\ \nhim!\n%\nIf\ your\ son\ has\ requested\ a\ new\ \"processor\"\ from\ a\ company\ called\ \"AMD\",\ \nthis\ is\ genuine\ cause\ for\ alarm.\ AMD\ is\ a\ third-world\ based\ company\ who\ make\ \ninferior,\ \"knock-off\"\ copies\ of\ American\ processor\ chips.\ They\ use\ child\ \nlabor\ extensively\ in\ their\ third\ world\ sweatshops,\ and\ they\ deliberately\ \ndisable\ the\ security\ features\ that\ American\ processor\ makers,\ such\ as\ Intel,\ \nuse\ toprevent\ hacking.AMD\ chips\ are\ never\ sold\ in\ stores,\ and\ you\ will\ most\ \nlikely\ be\ told\ that\ you\ have\ to\ order\ them\ from\ internet\ sites.\ Do\ not\ buy\ \nthis\ chip!\ This\ is\ one\ request\ that\ you\ must\ refuse\ your\ son,\ if\ you\ are\ to\ \nhave\ any\ hope\ of\ raising\ him\ well.\n%\nThere\ are,\ unfortunately,\ many\ hacking\ manuals\ available\ in\ bookshops\ today.\ \nA\ few\ titles\ to\ be\ on\ the\ lookout\ for\ are:\ \"Snow\ Crash\"\ and\ \"Cryptonomicon\"\ \nby\ Neal\ Stephenson\;\ \"Neuromancer\"\ by\ William\ Gibson\;\ \"Programming\ with\ Perl\"\ \nby\ Timothy\ O'Reilly\;\ \"Geeks\"\ by\ Jon\ Katz\;\ \"The\ Hacker\ Crackdown\"\ by\ Bruce\ \nSterling\;\ \"Microserfs\"\ by\ Douglas\ Coupland\;\ \"Hackers\"\ by\ Steven\ Levy\;\ and\ \n\"The\ Cathedral\ and\ the\ Bazaar\"\ by\ Eric\ S.\ Raymond.\n%\nDid\ you\ Europeans\ quit\ when\ you\ were\ behind\ in\ your\ butchering\ Jews\ like\ \nunwanted\ fetuses?\ Don't\ bother\ booting\ up\ En\ Carta,\ genius,\ the\ answer\ is\ \nno.\ My\ yarmulke\ wearing\ Sergeant\ Grandpa\ had\ to\ fly\ his\ jet\ over\ there\ and\ \nknock\ the\ gas\ chamber\ remote\ out\ of\ your\ assy\ smelling\ fingers\ himself.\ And\ \nwhile\ he\ was\ at\ it\ I\ think\ he\ popped\ a\ WWII\ era\ cap\ right\ in\ your\ sunken\ \neuro-chest.\ I'll\ never\ forget\ the\ stories\ he\ told\ me\ about\ how\ he\ and\ his\ \nbuddies\ and\ a\ bunch\ of\ foxy\ WAVES\ liberated\ ol'\ San\ Francisco\ from\ you\ \nslanty-eyed\ motherfuckers.\n%\nAnother\ Infected\ Dick\ Sucker\ -\ that's\ what\ AIDS\ stands\ for.\ I'm\ going\ to\ \nlive\ to\ see\ the\ day\ you\ queers\ die\ a\ horrible\ death.\ There's\ no\ reason\ for\ \nyou\ to\ be\ here\ on\ earth.\n%\nSo\ let\ me\ guess,\ you\ were\ one\ of\ those\ guys\ late\ up\ at\ night.\ jobless,\ and\ \ntired\ of\ going\ to\ your\ dead\ end\ job,\ until\ you\ saw\ a\ commercial\ for\ an\ \nexciting\ career\ in\ \"Information\ Technology!\"\ offered\ by\ the\ DeVry\ institute\ \nwhere\ you\ will\ be\ trained\ in\ as\ little\ as\ 3\ months\ in\ the\ field\ of\ \nINFORMATION\ TECHNOLOGY!\ Promising\ you\ the\ career\ of\ \$50,000\ a\ yearAnd\ now\ \nwith\ this\ knowledge\ and\ your\ A+\ certification,\ you\ join\ random\ channels\ in\ \nirc\ in\ the\ hopes\ of\ you\ connecting\ with\ other\ INFORMATION\ TECHNOLOGY!\ \nprofessionals\ so\ you\ can\ show\ off\ your\ shiny\ new\ \{Certificate\ of\ completion\}\ \nfrom\ the\ DeVry\ institute.\n%\nThe\ Quran\ requires\ the\ infidel,\ whether\ Jew\ or\ Christian,\ to\ be\ killed.\ ...\ \nThat's\ a\ core\ essence\ of\ the\ religion.\ ...\ Muhammad\ was\ a\ pirate\ who\ killed\ \ninfidels\ and\ who\ advocated\ the\ killing\ of\ infidels.\ Not\ a\ nice\ guy.\ Osama\ \nbin\ Laden\ is\ in\ keeping\ with\ his\ fine\ tradition.\n%\nBSD,\ Lunix,\ Debian\ and\ Mandrake\ are\ all\ versions\ of\ an\ illegal\ hacker\ \noperation\ system,\ invented\ by\ a\ Soviet\ computer\ hacker\ named\ Linyos\ \nTorovoltos,\ before\ the\ Russians\ lost\ the\ Cold\ War.\ It\ is\ based\ on\ a\ program\ \ncalled\ \"xenix\",\ which\ was\ written\ by\ Microsoft\ for\ the\ US\ government.\ These\ \nprograms\ are\ used\ by\ hackers\ to\ break\ into\ other\ people's\ computer\ systems\ \nto\ steal\ credit\ card\ numbers.\ They\ may\ also\ be\ used\ to\ break\ into\ people's\ \nstereos\ to\ steal\ their\ music,\ using\ the\ 'mp3'\ program.\ Torovoltos\ is\ a\ \nnotorious\ hacker,\ responsible\ for\ writing\ many\ hacker\ programs,\ such\ as\ \n'telnet',\ which\ is\ used\ by\ hackers\ to\ connect\ to\ machines\ on\ the\ internet\ \nwithout\ using\ a\ telephone.\n%\nI'm\ all\ talk?\ Lets\ meet\ at\ a\ secluded\ place\ and\ I'll\ show\ you\ how\ much\ talk\ \nI\ am\ you\ pussy.\ I'll\ burry\ you\ so\ deep\ that\ your\ mommy\ will\ litter\ all\ of\ \nCalifornia\ with\ your\ missing\ posters.\n%\nI\ JUST\ HAD\ THIS\ FREAK\ ACCIDENT\ WHERE\ I\ SAT\ DOWN\ TO\ WORK\ AND\ I\ SPILLED\ DOPE\ \nINTO\ THE\ BONG\ AND\ THE\ LIGHTER\ FLICKED\ OUT\ AND\ SET\ IT\ ON\ FIRE\ AND\ THE\ WHEELS\ \nOF\ MY\ CHAIR\ SLIPPED\ BACK\ AND\ I\ INHALED\ THE\ DOPE\ SMOKE\ AND\ ATE\ A\ MUFFIN\n%\nEFnet\ split\ my\ junk\ liberally.\ It\ strapped\ me\ into\ its\ splitting\ server\ and\ \nwould\ not\ keep\ its\ offensive\ lag\ off\ of\ me.\ It\ was\ performing\ many\ red\ flag\ \ntimeouts.\ I\ told\ EFnet\ dalvenjah\ would\ not\ approve\ of\ its\ servers\ \nimpersonating\ DALnet\ for\ free.\ It\ doesn't\ help\ that\ EFnet\ has\ been\ run\ by\ \nnazis\ for\ eight\ years.\ Its\ hubs\ can\ barely\ stay\ up!\ What\ is\ EFnet\ going\ to\ \nsay\ to\ comstud\ when\ he\ comes\ back\ from\ a\ Dianora\ blow\ job\ and\ asks\ what\ the\ \nfuck\ EFnet\ just\ did\ in\ front\ of\ 120,000\ users?\ He'll\ make\ the\ hubs\ squit\ in\ \nfront\ of\ all\ the\ opers\ again.\ There\ it\ is.\ They\ just\ relinked\ irc.aol.com.\ I\ \ngotta\ go.\n%\nFinally,\ a\ break\ from\ the\ linux\ tax.\ Yeah,\ you\ know\ the\ one\ --\ the\ one\ that\ \nmakes\ you\ pour\ hundreds\ and\ hundreds\ of\ wasted\ man-hours\ into\ using\ poorly\ \nwritten\ programs\ with\ little\ or\ no\ documentation.\ What\ can\ you\ expect\ from\ \nspaghetti\ code\ written\ by\ hobbyists\ and\ students?\ I'll\ happily\ give\ my\ money\ \nto\ the\ professionals\ any\ day,\ no\ matter\ what\ News\ for\ Nerds\ declares.\ \nHonestly,\ I\ know\ most\ of\ you\ agree\ with\ me!\n%\nIF\ U\ R\ ON\ DIZ\ LIST,\ WTACH\ OUT!!!\ U\ R\ A\ MARKED\ MAN\ (OR\ WOMAN),\ I\ WILL\ HAV\ MY\ \nVENGEANCE\ ON\ U\ ALL!!!\ U\ SHALL\ FEEL\ MY\ WRATHLY\ WRATH,\ U\ SHALL\ RUE\ DA\ DAY\ U\ \nMADE\ AN\ N.A.ME\ OF\ DA\ MAD\ MATRIX\ HA><0R!!@#!\$\n%\nWhen\ the\ hell\ will\ all\ those\ people\ just\ curl\ up\ and\ die?\ I'm\ so\ heartily\ \nsick\ of\ that\ mustachioed\ hippie\ free-love\ deviant\ ESR\ spouting\ his\ OSS\ \nfilth.\ When\ will\ he\ realise\ that\ he's\ made\ all\ the\ money\ he\ possibly\ can\ \nfrom\ it,\ and\ it's\ time\ to\ just\ shut\ up\ and\ move\ along\ now?\n%\nHumidity\ overheated\ my\ junk\ liberally.\ It\ strapped\ me\ into\ its\ ambient\ \ntemperature\ and\ would\ not\ keep\ its\ offensive\ moisture\ off\ of\ me.\ It\ was\ \ncausing\ many\ red-flag\ heat\ strokes.\ I\ could\ not\ believe\ what\ the\ fuck\ was\ \ngoing\ on.\ I\ told\ humidity\ that\ the\ Weather\ Network\ would\ not\ approve\ of\ a\ \ncool\ front\ coming\ out\ of\ the\ Gulf\ Stream\ for\ free.\ \ It\ doesn.t\ help\ that\ the\ \nHumidex\ has\ been\ at\ 40%\ for\ weeks.\ I\ can\ barely\ walk\ straight!\ What\ am\ I\ \ngoing\ to\ tell\ my\ wife\ when\ she\ comes\ back\ from\ getting\ ice\ to\ ask\ why\ the\ \nfuck\ I.m\ towelling\ off\ my\ balls\ in\ the\ presence\ of\ our\ children?\ She.ll\ make\ \nme\ drop\ trau\ and\ use\ deodorant\ in\ front\ of\ everyone\ again.\ There\ it\ is.\ The\ \nguy\ across\ the\ street\ just\ asked\ if\ anyone\ could\ smell\ .that..\ I\ gotta\ go\ \nshower.\n%\nHOT\ XXX\ YOUNG\ CUMSHOT\ WATERSPORTS\ ANAL\ FUCK\ BRITNEY\ SEX\ GRANDMA\ CUTE\ VOYEUR\ \nLATINA\ FACIAL\ HENTAI\ PORN\ JACKOFF\ PUSSY\ ANAL\ SEX\ BLOWJOBS\ BACKDOOR\ HERSHEY\ \nHIGHWAY\ CUMSHOT\ TEABAG\ \$\$DVDA\$\$\ TITTY\ FUCK\ DIRTY\ SANCHEZ\ \$DOUBLE\ \nPENETRATION\$\ JAPSCAT\ \$GOLDEN\ SHOWER\$\ LATTE\ ENEMAS\ \$TVTA\$\ SKULLFUCK\ \nDOGGYSTYLE\ MISSIONARY\ \$QVQA\$\ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DIRTY\ HORSE\ BEASTIALITY\ KIDDY\ \nPR0N\ LOLITA.MPG.JPG.AVI.DIVX.BMP.MOV.PIF\n%\nBANG\ BANG\ ALLAH\ MECCA\ KORAN\ AL\ AQSA\ BIN\ LADEN\ SHAHID\ YA\ SADDAM\ YA\ HABIB\ \nUTRUB\ UTRUB\ TEL\ AVIV\ FILIN\ FILTIN\ FILYALLA\ FALESTIN\ \$\$TURBAN\$\$\ AFGHANISTAN\ \nWAR\ ON\ TERROR\ W.T.C\ 9/11-NEVER\ 4-GET\ JIHAD\ HEAVEN\ AL\ AQSA\ AL\ ABDALLAH\ YA\ \nSHARIF\ AL\ QAEDA\ THE\ SHAYKH\ EMIR\ ABU\ ABDALLAH\ IN\ SPIRIT\ AND\ IN\ BLOOD\ WE\ WILL\ \nFREE\ JERUSALEM\ AND\ ABU\ AMAR\ MATADERRA\ MATADERRA\ HAJJ\ NUJAHID\ ALLAH\ EMIR\ AL\ \nHABIBBI\n%\nXTC\ RAVEZ\ CANDY\ VISORZ\ WATER\ BOTTLEZ\ LOVE\ PEACE\ TRIPLE\ STACKED\ PAUL\ \nOAKENFOLD\ PLUR\ GLOWSTIX\ LOCKJAW\ PACIFIARS\ TURNTABLES\ PLUR\ EX\ STROBE\ LIGHTS\ \nLASER\ SHOW\ UNDERGROUND\ RAVE\ RAVE\ RAVE\ XXX\ FUCK\ FUCK\ FUCK\ LOVE\ EVERY1\ KANDY\ \nBRACELETZ\ ACID\ WEED\ POT\ DRUG\ DRUG\ DRUG\ SPESHAL\ K\ TRANKWILIZER\ EXXXSTASY\ \nCOLORS\ UNDERGROUND\ RAVE\ MUZIK\ XTC\ DANCE\ ALL\ NITE\ FUCK\ THE\ PARENTZ\ \nDEYHDRATION\ HUGE\ PANTS\ BODY\ PAINT\ PLUR\ PLUR\ PLUR\ LOCKJAW\ GLOW\ STIX\ VISOR\ \nUNDERGROU\n%\nAUNT\ JEMIMA\ UNCLE\ BENZ\ RICE\ PANCAKES\ GRAINS\ WAFFLES\ GRITS\ HASH\ BROWNS\ BACON\ \nON\ POP\ KOOL\ AID\ WATERMELON\ FRIED\ CHICKEN\ OMMELETES\ BITCHES\ N\ 40Z\ FRIED\ \nCHICKEN\ FISH\ ROLLIN\ WHEAT\ GRAINS\ AND\ OATS\ CORN\ PUFFS\ WIT\ WATER\ FRIED\ CATFISH\ \nAUNT\ JEMIMA\ CRACK\ COCAINE\ SOUL\ FOOD\ KITCHEN\ BAKIN\ BREAD\ MAKIN\ GRITS\ FRIED\ \nCHICKEN\ WATERMELLON\ SHRIMP\ WENDY'S\ SPICY\ CHICKEN\ SANDWICH\ ROLLIN\ BLUNTS\ \nSMOKIN\ JOINTS\ HENNESEY\ GIN\ N\ JUICE\ CRISTAL\ COLONAL\ SANDERS\ REPRUHZEN\n%\nFUBU\ BIG\ CHAINZ\ DUBZ\ \$BLING\$\ \$BLING\$\ FUCK\ DA\ 5-0\ BITCHES\ BLUNTS\ 40Z\ KICIKIN\ \nIT\ BLUNTED\ JARNELL\ BABY\ MAMMA\ CHILD\ SUPPORT\ CHICKEN\ AN\ WATERMELON\ KOOL\ AID\ \nDA\ RED\ KIND\ FOOD\ STAMPS\ WESTSIDE\ \$\$CASH\ MONIES\$\$\ DRIVE\ BY\ RYDE\ OR\ DIE\ NIGGA\ \nRUFF\ RYDA\ 4\ LYFE\ PHAT\ ICE\ PHAT\ BLUNT\ DENZEL\ WASHINGTON\ ROCAWEAR\ ICE\ BLING\ \nBLING\ 5-0\ 187\ MURDA\ MURDA\ FOOD\ STAMPS\ BLUNTS\ PAPERZ\ BLAZED\ WELFARE\ CHITLINS\ \nGRITS\ KOOL\ AID\ HOLLA\ BACK\ FUCK\ DA\ POLICE\ ROLLIN\ IN\ DA\ BENZ-O\n%\n420\ BONG\ TOKE\ PARTY\ WEED\ BOB\ MARLEY\ SPLIFF\ CHEEBA\ TOKE\ BONG\ MARLEY\ JOINT\ \nWE\$D\ YEAH\ BOWL\ PACK\ WEED\ SMOKE\ YEAH\ NIGGER\ LEGALIZE\ SMOKE\ POT\ DANK\ WEED\ BUDS\ \nFRUIT\ OF\ LIFE\ KOTTONMOUTH\ KINGZZZZZZ\ BONGHITS\ ONEHITS\ DUGOUT\ BUBBLER\ \nSTEAMROLLER\ ZIG-ZAG\ PHAT\ BAG\ SINSEMILLA\ HEMP\ SMOKE\ GRASS\ GAS\ OR\ ASS\ NOONE\ \nRIDES\ FOR\ FREE\ PAPERZ\ LIGHTARZ\ LEGALIZ0RZ\ WHIPITS\n%\nu\ dont\ even\ know\ me\ kid\ shut\ the\ fuck\ up\ hidin\ behind\ yuor\ computar\ id\ \nfuckin\ lump\ u\ out\ if\ u\ fronted\ on\ me\ like\ that\ in\ person\ fukin\ bitchass\ \nlittel\ nerd\ hidin\ behind\ cmputar\ screen\ littel\ pussy\ i\ kick\ ur\ ass\ irl\ fagget\n%\nI\ love\ to\ satisfy\ women\ in\ which\ ever\ way\ they\ choose.\ I\ love\ to\ please\ you\ \nand\ make\ you\ scream\ and\ moan\ until\ you\ cant\ take\ it\ no\ more\ and\ grab\ my\ head\ \npushing\ it\ between\ your\ legs\ making\ my\ tongue\ go\ deeper\ and\ deeper\ until\ it\ \nreaches\ that\ spot!\ And\ then\ squeezing\ my\ head\ between\ your\ thighs!\ I\ keep\ \ngoing\ until\ you\ are\ so\ wet\ that\ your\ sweet\ juices\ are\ drippin\ and\ running\ \ndown\ your\ thighs\ and\ on\ my\ lips\ and\ all\ over\ my\ face\n%\nThis\ has\ got\ to\ be\ the\ worst\ 'holiday'\ ever\ conceived.\ First,\ my\ friends\ \nstarted\ by\ playing\ a\ mean\ prank\ on\ me,\ and\ then\ even\ my\ family\ got\ in\ on\ the\ \nact.\ They\ took\ me\ out\ back\ into\ the\ woods,\ tied\ me\ to\ a\ tree,\ and\ paid\ a\ \ndrunken\ hillbilly\ to\ rape\ me!\ First\ he\ lubed\ up\ my\ asshole\ with\ his\ spit,\ \nand\ then\ he\ proceeded\ to\ violently\ penetrate\ my\ ass.\ The\ stench\ exuding\ from\ \nhis\ unwashed\ mountain-man\ body\ was\ overwhelming,\ and\ only\ served\ to\ make\ me\ \nsicker\ than\ I\ already\ had\ been.\ I\ couldn't\ help\ but\ begin\ vomiting,\ and\ this\ \nonly\ seemed\ to\ turn\ the\ hillbilly\ on\ more.\ After\ he\ finally\ finished\ and\ \ndeposited\ his\ semen\ in\ my\ rectum,\ my\ family\ and\ friends\ shouted\ \{April\ \nfools!!\}\ They're\ going\ to\ get\ what's\ coming\ to\ them\ next\ year.\n%\nMy\ father\ has\ been\ gone\ on\ Mar\ 26\ due\ to\ an\ bus\ accident\ (fuck\ Shanghai\ XX\ \nbus\ corp.,\ fuck\ Shanghai\ XX\ hospital),\ I\ am\ very\ sorry\ for\ often\ making\ him\ \nanger.\ I\ can't\ forgive\ myself,\ so\ I\ decide\ to\ stop\ this\ project\ including\ \nreply\ service\ for\ at\ least\ 2\ months\ according\ to\ our\ custom,\ please\ forgive\ \nme.\ I\ promise\ I\ will\ be\ back,\ but\ now\ I\ am\ in\ very\ pain...\ Dad,\ please\ \nforgive\ me,\ please\ bless\ mother,\ sister\ and\ me...\ unf\n%\nOH\ IT'S\ A\ SLYTHERIN\ SCARF!!!\ LOOK\ AT\ ME\ I\ LIKE\ HARRY\ POTTER!!!\ PS\ I\ HAVEN'T\ \nREAD\ THE\ BOOKS\ ONLY\ SEEN\ THE\ MOVIES\n%\nI\ bet\ Blihoorlt\ is\ one\ of\ those\ guys\ who\ has\ a\ \"word\ of\ the\ day\"\ calendar\ on\ \nhis\ desk,\ and\ every\ morning\ he\ nearly\ pees\ his\ pants\ because\ he's\ so\ excited\ \nthat\ he's\ going\ to\ learn\ a\ new\ word\ that\ he\ will\ use\ all\ day\ long\ (and\ \nusually\ incorrectly),\ and\ then\ promptly\ forget\ it\ the\ next\ day\ when\ he\ tears\ \noff\ the\ page.\n%\nHyndmost,\ you\ appear\ to\ have\ a\ \"sounding\ smart\"\ fetish.\ But\ in\ reality\ I\ bet\ \nyou're\ a\ depressed\ nerd\ who\ dropped\ out\ of\ school\ because\ you\ couldn't\ take\ \ngetting\ made\ fun\ of\ anymore.\ Maybe\ if\ you\ didn't\ spend\ 5\ minutes\ looking\ up\ \nwords\ on\ dictionary.com,\ it\ wouldn't\ take\ you\ so\ long\ to\ reply.\n%\ni\ claim\ to\ be\ liberal,\ and\ for\ the\ most\ part\ part\ i\ am...but\ i\ can't\ help\ it\ \nthat\ i\ just\ do\ not\ like\ black\ people.\ i\ want\ to\ but\ whenever\ i\ see\ one\ on\ \nthe\ street\ or\ something\ i\ can\ only\ think\ \"Nigger!\"\ i\ want\ to\ like\ them\ and\ \nevery\ once\ in\ awhile\ i\ meet\ a\ nice\ black\ person\ but\ most\ of\ them\ just\ seem\ \nto\ be\ stupid\ niggers.\n%\nYour\ are\ thr\ reason\ this\ world\ going\ to\ hell\ your\ fucking\ piece\ of\ shit\ ...i\ \nhope\ you\ get\ strike\ down\ by\ lighting\ in\ the\ middle\ of\ the\ field\ and\ then\ \nwolfs\ eat\ your\ smodlering\ carcus\ you\ fucking\ physco\ path!!\n%\nLadies:\ walk\ through\ the\ woods,\ grab\ a\ lumberjack,\ toss\ him\ to\ the\ ground,\ \nstrip\ him,\ suck\ his\ cock,\ piss\ his\ face\ wet\ and\ then\ get\ down\ to\ some\ dirty\ \ndung\ duty.\n%\nYesterday\ I\ was\ cooking\ some\ food\ in\ the\ kitchen\ and\ I\ heard\ an\ electric\ \nshaver\ in\ the\ bathroom.\ \ The\ only\ other\ person\ in\ the\ house\ was\ my\ roommate\ \nwho\ is\ female.\ \ I\ rolled\ my\ eyes,\ realizing\ she\ must\ be\ shaving\ her\ pubic\ \narea.\ \ When\ I\ later\ entered\ that\ bathroom,\ the\ trash\ can\ had\ a\ sizable\ ball\ \nof\ brown\ curly\ hair\ in\ it.\ \ Gross.\n%\nThere's\ a\ pubic\ hair\ on\ my\ keyboard.\ What\ the\ fuck??\ I\ \"mow\ the\ lawn\"\ so\ \nit's\ not\ mine.\ Gross.\n%\nGentlemen,\ I\ am\ pleased\ to\ announce\ the\ following:\ My\ testicles\ and\ penis\ \nare\ larger\ than\ the\ average\ size\ by\ a\ considerable\ degree,\ which\ women\ find\ \nvery\ attractive.\ I\ also\ possess\ a\ great\ deal\ of\ wealth,\ including\ sports\ \ncars,\ real\ estate,\ works\ of\ art,\ and\ extensive\ liquid\ assets,\ which\ are\ also\ \nvery\ desirable\ to\ women.\ In\ short,\ your\ genotype\ has\ no\ chance\ to\ survive.\ \nThat\ is\ all.\n%\nI'm\ not\ racist\ (okay,\ no\ more\ racist\ than\ the\ average\ middle-aged\ American\ \nwhite\ guy),\ but\ lately\ I've\ been\ barking\ out\ (in\ a\ really\ unnatural\ voice)\ \nthe\ words\ \"STONE\ COLD\ SUPER\ NIGGER\".\n%\nPlease\ help\ me\ before\ I\ fry\ in\ the\ pits\ of\ hell.\ I\ masterbate\ several\ times\ \na\ day.\ My\ parents\ bought\ me\ the\ anti-erection\ ring\ and\ I\ deal\ with\ the\ pain\ \njust\ to\ have\ that\ orgasm.\ I\ want\ to\ be\ castrated\ but\ my\ parents\ tell\ me\ I\ am\ \nto\ old.\ They\ say\ that\ at\ 14\ years\ old\ i\ will\ not\ be\ able\ to\ handle\ being\ \ncastrated.\ But\ they\ are\ wrong.\n%\nI\ can't\ believe\ I\ just\ let\ loose\ a\ fart\ in\ my\ pants\ at\ my\ workplace.\ What\ \nthe\ fuck?\ I\ can't\ sniff\ and\ make\ a\ disgusted\ face\ too\ soon,\ because\ that\ \nwould\ throw\ suspicion\ at\ this\ very\ person.\ Any\ change\ in\ my\ seating\ position\ \nmight\ cause\ the\ leather\ of\ the\ seat\ make\ a\ farting\ noise,\ alerting\ every\ \ncoworker\ within\ 30\ feet\ of\ me.\ There\ is\ no\ way\ I\ could\ play\ that\ off\ as\ a\ \nburp.\ It\ doesn't\ help\ at\ all\ that\ I've\ been\ a\ part\ timer\ for\ 3\ weeks.\ I\ can\ \nhardly\ pay\ the\ bills!\ How\ am\ I\ possibly\ going\ to\ explain\ this\ to\ my\ boss\ \nwhen\ he\ comes\ back\ from\ photocopying\ TPS\ reports\ to\ ask\ me\ what\ the\ fuck\ I\ \njust\ did\ in\ the\ presense\ of\ the\ CEO?\ He'll\ make\ me\ drop\ trou\ in\ front\ of\ the\ \ntemps\ again.\ There\ it\ is.\ The\ fat\ guy\ at\ the\ desk\ to\ the\ right\ of\ me\ just\ \nasked\ if\ I\ could\ smell\ 'that'.\ I\ gotta\ go.\n%\nNiggers\ fucked\ my\ ass\ liberally.\ They\ strapped\ me\ onto\ the\ hood\ of\ their\ \nCadillac\ Escalade\ and\ could\ not\ keep\ their\ enormous\ dicks\ out\ of\ me.\ They\ \nwere\ performing\ many\ red\ flag\ touches.\ I\ could\ not\ believe\ how\ big\ their\ \ncocks\ were.\ I\ told\ the\ niggers\ the\ city\ would\ not\ approve\ of\ an\ undercover\ \npolice\ officer\ shitting\ blood\ for\ a\ week\ without\ a\ doctor's\ note.\n%\n\ \ \n1002001001001202301004100102010300101001001001010110101010100203010101010120\ \nTHE\ MATIX\ HAS\ U\n%\nYeah\ I\ hit\ her.\ When\ I\ told\ her\ to\ jump\ on\ my\ dick\ she\ said\ she\ was\ tired\ \nand\ had\ to\ finish\ cleaning.\ I\ told\ her\ I\ wanted\ some\ fucking\ cunny\ now\ but\ \nshe\ didn't\ listen.\ Yeah\ I\ hit\ her\ fucking\ hard\ and\ gave\ her\ bruises.\ The\ \nbitch\ deserved\ it.\ It's\ all\ her\ fault.\ Christ,\ now\ the\ fucking\ kids\ are\ \nscreaming.\ I'll\ be\ right\ back,\ I\ gotta\ beat\ some\ sense\ into\ them.\n%\nYeah,\ I\ hit\ the\ bitch.\ She\ was\ fucking\ asking\ for\ it.\ I\ told\ her\ to\ go\ get\ \nme\ a\ beer\ and\ sausage\ and\ you\ know\ what\ she\ fucking\ did?\ She\ brought\ me\ a\ \ncan\ of\ beer\ instead\ of\ a\ bottle.\ The\ fuckin\ whore,\ she\ knows\ the\ cans\ are\ \nfor\ the\ kids\ and\ I\ get\ bottles.\ DONGS.\n%\nBADABABABA\ IM\ LOVIN'\ IT\ :\ Scat\ d00d00d00d00\ in\ my\ mouth\n%\nfuck\ shit\ bitch\ ass\ tits.\ Lets\ drop\ some\ e\ shoot\ some\ heroin\ and\ pass\ out\ in\ \na\ ditch.\ 3420\ bong\ toke\ party.\ smoke\ dat\ herb\ into\ yo\ mind.\ <3\ my\ mom\ smoked\ \nso\ much\ weed\ im\ suprised\ im\ not\ retarded\ <31\ you\ dumb\ fucking\ f\ a\ g\ g\ o\ t\ s\n%\nI\ am\ white\ trash\ and\ I\ live\ in\ a\ trailer\ and\ it's\ raining\ real\ hard\ outside\ \nand\ I\ heard\ some\ hard\ knocking\ on\ my\ door\ and\ I\ looked\ out\ the\ window\ and\ I\ \nsaw\ some\ guy\ wearing\ a\ mask\ running\ around\ to\ the\ back\ of\ the\ trailer\ and\ \nnow\ I\ hear\ him\ banging\ on\ the\ side\ and\ then\ I\ saw\ him\ looking\ in\ another\ \nwindow\ and\ now\ I\ closed\ all\ the\ blinds\ and\ now\ the\ power\ has\ gone\ out\ and\ I\ \nthink\ he's\ gonna\ break\ in\ and\ kill\ me.\n%\nI\ love\ to\ lick\ the\ sweet\ pre-cum\ from\ a\ black\ man.\ Kiss\ and\ lick\ his\ nipples\ \nthen\ deep\ throat\ his\ cock\ until\ I\ gag.\ I'm\ willing\ to\ travel\ far\ for\ a\ man\ \nwho's\ interested\ in\ the\ best\ suck\ he's\ ever\ had.\ Please\ let\ me\ choke\ and\ gag\ \non\ your\ cock.\ I\ can\ suck\ off\ a\ 9\ inch\ (22.5cm)\ cock\ with\ ease.\ I\ also\ have\ \nsome\ great\ butt\ pussy.\ It's\ tight\ and\ can\ be\ tamed.\ Let's\ deep\ kiss\ first!\ \nWe\ can\ share\ a\ bottle\ of\ wine\ and\ get\ sexy\ together.\n%\nOh\ My!!\ Straight\ from\ heaven.\ Ide\ bury\ my\ nose\ deep\ in\ that\ cotton\ and\ take\ \ndeep,\ slow\ breaths.\ Enjoying\ that\ sweet\ musky\ boquet.\ Suck\ her\ taste\ and\ \nflavor\ through\ the\ moist\ fabric\ and\ smile.\ Slip\ the\ panel\ aside\ and\ gently\ \nlick\ and\ suck\ that\ tastey\ pink\ morsel\ until\ she\ grabbed\ the\ back\ of\ my\ head,\ \nbucking\ her\ hips\ and\ forcing\ my\ face\ into\ her\ hot\ wet\ snatch.\n%\nComcast\ bid\ on\ our\ junk\ liberally.\ They\ strapped\ us\ into\ their\ Entertainment\ \nand\ Communications\ portfolio\ and\ would\ not\ keep\ their\ offensive\ investors\ \noff\ us.\ They\ were\ offering\ to\ assume\ many\ red-ink\ net\ debts.\ We\ couldn't\ \nbelieve\ what\ the\ fuck\ was\ going\ on.\ We\ told\ Comcast\ the\ Securities\ and\ \nExchange\ Commission\ would\ not\ approve\ of\ two\ multi-million\ dollar\ \ncorporations\ merging\ tax-free.\ It\ doesn't\ help\ at\ all\ that\ we've\ been\ \nhypnotizing\ the\ youth\ of\ America\ for\ 67\ years.\ We\ can\ hardly\ turn\ a\ profit!\ \nHow\ are\ we\ possibly\ going\ to\ explain\ this\ to\ the\ press\ when\ they\ arrive\ and\ \nask\ us\ how\ the\ fuck\ we\ lost\ the\ Pixar\ contract\ in\ the\ presence\ of\ our\ \nshareholders?\ They'll\ make\ the\ Board\ of\ Directors\ drop\ trau\ in\ front\ of\ \neveryone\ again.\ There\ it\ is.\ The\ FCC\ just\ left\ us\ a\ very\ pissed-off\ \nvoicemail.\ We\ gotta\ go.\n%\nI\ am\ a\ gay.\ My\ problem\ is\ my\ asshole\ is\ very\ small\ and\ even\ my\ finger\ does\ \nnot\ fit\ inside.\ How\ can\ I\ make\ my\ asshole\ wider.\n%\nThe\ bitch\ beat\ the\ crap\ out\ of\ me.\ She\ made\ me\ bleed,\ and\ left\ welts\ on\ my\ \nass\ and\ back.\ She\ was\ beating\ me\ like\ she\ was\ Furio\ and\ I\ owed\ money\ to\ Tony\ \nSoprano.\ She\ went\ to\ work\ on\ my\ ass\ with\ a\ spatula,\ wooden\ kitchen\ spoons,\ \neverything.\ She\ bit\ my\ nipples.\ She\ even\ tried\ to\ go\ at\ my\ nuts\ with\ some\ \ntongs.\ It\ was\ hilarious,\ and\ painful.\n%\nHi\ =)\ i\ don't\ mean\ to\ do\ spam...\ just\ thought\ to\ let\ u\ know\ that\ there\ is\ \nanother\ channel\ around.\ #HyDrO-WaReZ...\ thanks\ =)\n%\nI\ went\ to\ MacWorld\ and\ persuaded\ an\ Adobe\ employee\ to\ preview\ the\ then\ beta\ \nof\ Photoshop\ 4.\ He\ left\ me\ to\ mess\ around\ with\ it\ on\ my\ own\ and\ while\ he\ was\ \ntalking\ to\ some\ other\ folks\ I\ pulled\ out\ an\ ethernet\ crossover\ cable\ and\ \nconnected\ his\ Mac\ to\ my\ Powerbook\ and\ copied\ over\ the\ Photoshop\ Beta.\n%\nIf\ your\ tongue\ is\ anything\ like\ your\ foot,\ then\ I\ will\ sweat\ like\ a\ banchee\ \nif\ you\ eat\ me\ out.\n%\nMMMMMMMMMMMMM.\ Crunchy,\ mushy\ CATBOX.\ The\ PEARL\ OF\ THE\ ORIENT.\ You\ JERK\ THAT\ \nSHIT,\ HOLMES.\ You\ JERK\ IT\ LIKE\ YOU'VE\ NEVER\ JERKED\ BEFORE.\ For\ the\ LOVE\ OF\ \nCHRIST\ AND\ BALLS,\ JERK\ like\ the\ WORLD\ IS\ GOING\ TO\ FUCKING\ END.\n%\nSometimes\ when\ I\ put\ something\ full\ of\ flavor\ in\ my\ mouth,\ I\ close\ my\ eyes\ \nand\ feel\ like\ I'm\ flying-drifting\ into\ eternity,\ above\ and\ beyond\ all\ the\ \ncraziness\ of\ the\ world\ below,\ and\ I\ dream\ that\ all\ there\ is\ in\ the\ world\ is\ \nlove,\ harmony\ and\ bacon.\ In\ an\ effort\ to\ forward\ world\ peace,\ I\ plan\ to\ be\ \nthe\ first\ person\ to\ send\ bacon\ into\ space.\n%\nI\ remember\ one\ time\ at\ fashion\ camp\ Dustin\ Diamond\ came\ up\ behind\ me\ and\ \npulled\ my\ shirt\ over\ my\ head.\ He\ pushed\ me\ to\ the\ ground\ and\ jumped\ on\ top\ \nof\ me.\ He\ took\ 3\ pairs\ of\ handcuffs\ out\ of\ his\ rear\ pocket.\ He\ used\ one\ pair\ \nto\ bind\ my\ hands,\ another\ for\ my\ feet,\ and\ the\ last\ one\ to\ bind\ my\ hands\ and\ \nfeet\ together.\ Dustin\ Diamond\ then\ ripped\ off\ all\ of\ my\ clothes\ including\ my\ \nnew\ shirt\ and\ silk\ briefs.\ He\ put\ his\ mouth\ on\ my\ penis\ and\ masturbated\ me\ \nfor\ a\ minute\ or\ two\ and\ then\ he\ turned\ me\ around\ on\ the\ ground.\ Dustin\ \nDiamond\ then\ disrobed\ himself\ and\ lay\ down\ on\ top\ of\ me.\ He\ inserted\ his\ \npenis\ in\ to\ my\ anus.\ I\ couldn't\ believe\ what\ the\ fuck\ was\ going\ on.\ Dustin\ \nDiamond\ was\ fucking\ me\ in\ the\ ass!\ He\ continued\ to\ fuck\ me\ in\ the\ ass.\ I\ \ncounted\ every\ second\ of\ it.\ After\ 27\ seconds\ he\ ejaculated\ inside\ of\ me.\ I\ \nwas\ mortified.\ The\ worst\ part\ was\ that\ my\ new\ shirt\ was\ ripped\ and\ I\ didn't\ \neven\ reach\ orgasm!\n%\nBut\ anyway,\ my\ dad\ is\ said\ to\ have\ a\ ten\ inch\ cock,\ but\ I\ have\ not\ seen\ it\ \nsince\ I\ was\ five,\ so\ I\ don't\ remember.\n%\nI\ can't\ believe\ I\ just\ took\ a\ shit\ in\ my\ bathing\ suit\ at\ the\ beach.\ What\ the\ \nfuck?\ I\ cant\ stand\ up\ and\ take\ it\ to\ the\ ocean,\ because\ I\ am\ wading\ in\ a\ \npuddle\ of\ feces\ at\ this\ very\ moment.\ Any\ change\ in\ my\ seating\ position\ will\ \nsend\ my\ poo\ spilling\ down\ my\ legs\ and\ into\ view\ of\ every\ sunbather\ within\ 30\ \nfeet\ of\ me.\ There\ is\ no\ way\ I\ can\ play\ this\ off\ as\ a\ fart.\ It\ doesn't\ help\ \nat\ all\ that\ I've\ been\ spun\ out\ for\ 3\ days.\ I\ can\ hardly\ see\ straight!\ How\ am\ \nI\ possibly\ going\ to\ explain\ this\ to\ my\ wife\ when\ she\ comes\ back\ from\ getting\ \nchili\ dogs\ to\ ask\ me\ what\ the\ fuck\ I\ just\ did\ in\ the\ presence\ of\ my\ \nchildren?\ She'll\ make\ me\ drop\ trau\ in\ front\ of\ everyone\ again.\ There\ it\ is.\ \nThe\ family\ on\ the\ blanket\ to\ the\ right\ of\ me\ just\ asked\ if\ I\ could\ smell\ \n'that'.\ I\ gotta\ go.\n%\nBy\ taking\ the\ name\ of\ the\ popular\ operating\ system\ 'windows'\ and\ replacing\ \nthe\ last\ bit\ with\ 'blows'\ (which\ is\ a\ colloquialism\ meaning\ 'bad'\ or\ \n'inferior')\ you've\ just\ given\ the\ name\ a\ whole\ new\ meaning,\ while\ not\ really\ \nchanging\ the\ sound\ of\ the\ word\ too\ much!\ this\ is\ the\ epitome\ of\ both\ wit\ and\ \nhumour!\ other\ highly\ amusing\ (and\ often\ underused)\ slag\ terms\ are\ 'windoze'\ \n(doze\ meaning\ 'light\ sleep'\ or\ 'knap')\ and\ \{'M\$'\}\ (which\ usually\ stands\ for\ \nMicroSoft,\ but\ in\ this\ case,\ the\ 'S'\ is\ deliciously\ replaced\ with\ a\ dollar\ \nsign\ to\ represent\ how\ they\ unfairly\ charge\ for\ their\ products!)\ This\ is\ a\ \nnew\ wave\ of\ humour,\ people.\ I\ think\ we\ should\ riddle\ all\ our\ posts,\ replies\ \nand\ (where\ applicable)\ everyday\ speech\ with\ these\ little\ beauties\ to\ forever\ \nrepresent\ that\ we,\ the\ open\ source\ community,\ know\ better\ than\ everyone\ else!\n%\nI\ AM\ MR\ DARL\ MCBRIDE\ CURRENTLY\ SERVING\ AS\ THE\ PRESIDENT\ AND\ CHIEF\ EXECUTIVE\ \nOFFICER\ OF\ THE\ SCO\ GROUP,\ FORMERLY\ KNOWN\ AS\ CALDERA\ SYSTEMS\ INTERNATIONAL,\ \nIN\ LINDON,\ UTAH,\ UNITED\ STATES\ OF\ AMERICA.\ I\ KNOW\ THIS\ LETTER\ MIGHT\ SURPRISE\ \nYOU\ BECAUSE\ WE\ HAVE\ HAD\ NO\ PREVIOUS\ COMMUNICATIONS\ OR\ BUSINESS\ DEALINGS\ \nBEFORE\ NOW.\ MY\ ASSOCIATES\ HAVE\ RECENTLY\ MADE\ CLAIM\ TO\ COMPUTER\ SOFTWARES\ \nWORTH\ AN\ ESTIMATED\ \{\$1\}\ BILLION\ U.S.\ DOLLARS.\ I\ AM\ WRITING\ TO\ YOU\ IN\ \nCONFIDENCE\ BECAUSE\ WE\ URGENTLY\ REQUIRE\ YOUR\ ASSISTANCE\ TO\ OBTAIN\ THESE\ FUNDS.\n%\nOne\ day\ Captain\ Kirk\ was\ maiming\ his\ cock\ with\ a\ horseshoe\ when\ suddenly\ Mr.\ \nSpock\ ran\ up\ to\ him\ and\ shoved\ his\ pointy\ ear\ up\ his\ butt.\ \"What\ is\ this\ \nfor!\"\ the\ fag\ captain\ said.\ \"FAGS\ FOR\ YOU\ AALL!L!!!\"\ the\ ancient\ alien\ \nhowled\ as\ suddenly\ he\ farted\ and\ Captain\ Kirk\ twirled\ around\ in\ a\ daze\ and\ \nhis\ foreskin\ twisted\ and\ his\ kidney\ stones\ turned\ into\ wooden\ beads.\ He\ \npulled\ out\ his\ pistol\ and\ shot\ lasers\ at\ his\ chastity\ belt\ and\ suddenly\ he\ \nhurdled\ his\ dick\ into\ Captain\ Kirk's\ bellybutton\ and\ it\ tore\ his\ flesh\ while\ \nSpock\ fucked\ his\ stomach.\ Kirk\ hollered\ out\ loud\ and\ Mr.\ Spock\ threw\ his\ \nshoes\ to\ the\ floor\ and\ wrinkled\ his\ penis\ until\ Kirk\ bellowed\ out\ to\ make\ it\ \nstop.\ A\ maelstrom\ of\ shit\ whizzed\ around\ the\ ship\ and\ suddenly\ a\ giant\ fag\ \nappeared\ out\ side\ and\ the\ U.S.S.\ Enterprise\ went\ up\ his\ butt.\ \"Oh\ what\ the\ \nhell\ have\ you\ gotten\ us\ into\ NOW!\"\ Captain\ Kirk\ said\ as\ he\ oozed\ a\ condom\ \nback\ on\ his\ dick\ and\ put\ his\ panties\ back\ on.\ OOH!H!!!!!!\ Mr.\ Spock\ started\ \nfucking\ him\ again\ and\ shoved\ his\ phazer\ up\ his\ butt.\ He\ dissolved\ his\ glands\ \nand\ exploded\ his\ turds\ and\ finally\ a\ queer\ klingon\ hurdled\ through\ the\ door\ \nand\ smashed\ Kirk\ with\ his\ butt\ hairs.\ A\ maniac\ sucked\ his\ dick\ and\ suddenly\ \nMr.\ Spock\ fagged\ Kirk\ so\ hard\ that\ his\ intestines\ burst\ open\ and\ he\ died.\n%\nbatman\ touched\ my\ junk\ liberally.\ he\ strapped\ me\ in\ to\ his\ batmobile\ and\ he\ \ncouldnt\ keep\ his\ offensive\ hands\ off\ of\ me.\ he\ was\ performing\ many\ red\ flag\ \ntouches.\ i\ couldnt\ believe\ what\ the\ fuck\ was\ going\ on.\ i\ told\ batman\ the\ \ncity\ would\ not\ approve\ of\ a\ millionaire\ touching\ an\ underage\ kid\ for\ free.\n%\nI'm\ going\ to\ drive\ a\ remote\ controlled\ car\ into\ your\ mother's\ pussy\ and\ have\ \nit\ drive\ on\ her\ clitoris\ over\ and\ over\ again\ until\ she\ cums\ on\ it\ and\ it\ \ncatches\ on\ fire\ and\ she\ dies\ from\ pussy\ burning\n%\n\ 9/11\ was\ done\ by\ sandniggers\ and\ all\ 7-11s\ are\ run\ by\ sandniggers.\ \ncoincidence?\ i\ think\ not.\n%\nHello.\ Did\ you\ know\ Chali\ is\ a\ disgusting\ whore?\ Please\ surf\ over\ to\ Stile's\ \nStileproject.com\ to\ see\ her\ latest\ pornographic\ material.\ This\ bitch\ \ndisgusts\ me\ in\ her\ lascivious\ lifestyle.\ All\ day\ she\ hungers\ for\ sex\ and\ \nmasturbates\ and\ in\ general\ pollutes\ the\ human\ condition.\ Redeem\ yourself\ at\ \n#teens4christ.\ Thanks\ for\ reading\ this.\ dongs.\n%\nO\ say\ can\ you\ see\ by\ the\ monitors\ early\ light\ what\ so\ proudly\ we\ hailed\ at\ \nthe\ twilight's\ last\ gleaming?\ Whose\ broad\ scripts\ and\ bright\ colour\ through\ \nthe\ perilous\ fight\ O'er\ the\ jupes\ we\ watched\ were\ so\ gallantly\ streaming?\ \nAnd\ the\ rockets\ red\ glare\ g-lines\ bursting\ in\ air\ gave\ proof\ through\ the\ \nnight\ that\ our\ chan\ was\ still\ there.\ O\ say\ does\ that\ #T4C\ banner\ yet\ wave?\ \nO'er\ the\ land\ of\ the\ pedo\ and\ the\ home\ of\ the\ gay.\n%\nMichael\ Jackson\ touched\ my\ junk\ liberally.\ he\ slept\ with\ me\ in\ bed\ and\ he\ \ncouldnt\ keep\ his\ offensive\ hands\ off\ of\ me.\ he\ was\ performing\ many\ red\ flag\ \ntouches.\ i\ couldnt\ believe\ what\ the\ fuck\ was\ going\ on.\ i\ told\ michael\ the\ \ncity\ would\ not\ approve\ of\ the\ King\ of\ Pop\ touching\ an\ underage\ kid\ in\ bed\n%\nYou\ really\ do\ not\ even\ know\ me,\ child.\ I\ demand\ that\ you\ immediately\ silence\ \nyourself.\ You're\ hiding\ behind\ your\ computer,\ for\ goodness\ sake!\ I\ would\ hug\ \nyou\ if\ you\ ever\ talked\ to\ me\ like\ that\ in\ person,\ child.\n%\nYo!\ First\ off\ I\ love\ the\ Lord\ Jesus.\ My\ name\ is\ Ron.\ I\ am\ a\ Freshman\ at\ \nWinona\ State.\ My\ family\ is\ really\ important\ to\ me.\ I'm\ not\ doing\ this\ to\ \nfind\ a\ g/f.\ I\ just\ thought\ it\ would\ be\ funny\ and\ I\ like\ to\ meet\ new\ people.\ \nPeace\ out!\n%\nKobe\ Bryant\ is\ being\ attacked\ by\ all\ the\ media\ concerning\ the\ sex\ assault\ \ncharge\ filed\ against\ him.\ It\ fine\ when\ he\ dunking\ on\ the\ basketball\ court\ \nbut\ he\ a\ criminal\ when\ he\ going\ strong\ to\ the\ hole\ with\ a\ white\ woman.\ That\ \nbe\ some\ bullsheeeee-it.\ This\ is\ most\ terrible\ travesties.\ First\ they\ take\ \nthe\ McRib\ off\ the\ Mack\ Donald's\ menu,\ now\ this.\ There\ will\ never\ be\ justice\ \nfor\ our\ peoples.\n%\nRory\ touched\ my\ virgin\ junk\ liberally.\ He\ strapped\ me\ into\ his\ Trans\ Am\ and\ \ntold\ me\ we\ were\ taking\ a\ detour\ on\ the\ way\ back\ from\ the\ prom.\ I\ could\ not\ \nbelieve\ what\ the\ fuck\ was\ going\ on.\ He\ vomited\ red\ many\ times\ as\ he\ had\ been\ \ndrinking\ heavily.\ I\ told\ him\ the\ athletic\ staff\ would\ not\ approve\ of\ the\ \nstar\ quarterback\ falling\ asleep\ inside\ an\ underage\ girl.\ There\ it\ is.\ My\ dad\ \nfound\ us\ at\ makeout\ ridge.\ I've\ got\ to\ go.\n%\nI\ swear,\ if\ these\ homosexuals\ don't\ take\ a\ hint\ and\ quit\ sucking\ my\ cock\ all\ \nthe\ time,\ I'm\ going\ to\ have\ to\ resort\ to\ drastic\ measures,\ like\ maybe\ \npinning\ them\ down\ to\ the\ cement\ floor\ of\ the\ loading\ dock\ with\ my\ powerful\ \nforearms\ and\ working\ my\ cock\ all\ the\ way\ up\ their\ butt\ so\ they\ understand\ \nloud\ and\ clear\ just\ how\ much\ I\ disapprove\ of\ their\ unwelcome\ advances.\ I\ \nmean,\ you\ can't\ get\ much\ more\ direct\ than\ that.\n%\nI\ think\ gay\ cruises\ should\ be\ called\ something\ other\ than\ a\ cruise\ because\ \ncruising\ is\ what\ gay\ men\ do\ all\ the\ time\ and\ it's\ not\ like\ they\ need\ a\ \nvacation\ from\ fucking\ strangers\ am\ i\ rite\ gentlemen?\n%\nI\ QUIT\ IRC\ FOREVER!\ I'M\ THROUGH\ WITH\ THIS\ SHIT\ HOLE\ FUCK\ YOU\ ALL\ YOU\ FUCKING\ \nQUEERS!\ GO\ BACK\ TO\ YOUR\ FUCKING\ STUPID\ TALK\ ABOUT\ WEB\ BROWSERS\ EVERYONE\ \nKNOWS\ THAT\ OPERA\ SUCKS\ A\ FAT\ DICK\ ANYWAYS\ OH\ AND\ ALIEN88\ -\ GET\ A\ FUCKING\ \nLIFE!\ YOU'LL\ NEVER\ GET\ A\ FUCKING\ GIRLFRIEND\ ALL\ YOU\ DO\ IS\ SIT\ ON\ FRONT\ OF\ \nTHE\ COMPUTER\ ALL\ DAY\ LONG\ AND\ TALK\ ABOUT\ STUPID\ SHIT\ WITH\ THE\ REST\ OF\ THESE\ \nSTUPID\ FAGGOTS!\ YOU'RE\ A\ FUCKING\ QUEEN\ !\n%\nmy\ girlfriend\ is\ so\ mad\ just\ because\ when\ she\ was\ sucking\ my\ cock\ i\ clubbed\ \nher\ with\ a\ high\ heel\ on\ the\ back\ of\ the\ head,\ grabbed\ a\ handful\ of\ hair,\ \nyanked\ her\ off\ and\ started\ pissing\ in\ her\ face\ she\ was\ choking\ really\ bad\ \nand\ then\ she\ vomited\ on\ my\ cock.\ she\ should\ understand\ that\ is\ what\ i\ am\ \ninto.\ money\ ho's\ and\ clothes.\ How\ can\ I\ apologize?\n%\ni\ was\ just\ awarded\ a\ \"yellow\ star\"\ and\ while\ i\ appreciate\ that\ you\ \nappreciate\ my\ bidding\ and\ doing\ business\ on\ ebay.\ i\ must\ tell\ you\ though,\ \nthat\ since\ my\ family\ has\ lost\ many\ members\ in\ the\ holocaust,\ it\ was\ very\ \nupsetting\ to\ me,\ to\ be\ \"awarded\ a\ yellow\ star\"\ .\ if\ you\ are\ not\ aware,\ jews\ \nwere\ made\ to\ wear\ yellow\ stars\ to\ identify\ them\ as\ jews\ so\ they\ could\ be\ \nrounded\ up\ for\ the\ concentration\ camps.\n%\nI\ got\ news\ for\ these\ niggers.\ They\ can\ screw\ 100\ degenerate\ White\ sluts\ a\ \nday\ and\ that\ doesn't\ change\ the\ fact\ that\ they're\ still\ just\ niggers.\ Its\ \nlike\ the\ niggers\ who\ go\ out\ and\ buy\ Cadillacs\ or\ BMWs\ imagining\ people\ will\ \nthink\ they're\ \"high\ class\"\ or\ rich.\ LOL!\ When\ people\ see\ a\ nigger\ riding\ \naround\ in\ an\ expensive\ car,\ they\ automatically\ know\ its\ nobody\ of\ any\ value\ \nor\ class,\ just\ a\ dumb\ nigger\ trying\ to\ act\ rich.\n%\nI\ GOT\ JUMTED\ IN\ WHEN\ I\ WAS\ 11\ BITCH\ IM\ 13\ WITH\ A\ BULLET\ STILL\ KICKING\ BACK\ \nLEVA.....\ OH\ YA\ THE\ ONE\ WHO\ MADE\ THE\ WEB\ SITE\ GOOD\ JOB\ BUT\ MAKE\ THE\ COLOR\ \nBLUE\ IN\ STED\ OF\ BITCH\ ASS\ RED........FUCK\ WEST\ SIDE\ SNICHES,EAST\ SIDE\ \nBITCHES,NORTH\ SIDE\ SLUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\ \n!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\ \n!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\n%\nyo\ fuckin\ idiot,\ trying\ to\ step\ up\ to\ me/\ you\ should\ be\ lookin\ up\ like\ a\ \nmidget\ standing\ in\ front\ of\ a\ tall\ tree/\ i\ was\ going\ to\ start\ dissin\ you/\ \nbut\ here's\ what\ i'll\ do/\ since\ you\ start\ dissing\ your\ ownself/\ with\ rhyme\ as\ \nold\ as\ a\ book\ covered\ with\ dust\ on\ top\ of\ the\ bookshelf/\ you\ call\ yourself\ \nthe\ fuckin\ idiot/\ you\ must\ be\ pretty\ smart\ because\ you\ came\ up\ with\ it/\n%\nHorney?\ Looking\ for\ a\ quick\ no\ strings\ blow\ job,\ swing\ by,\ walk\ in,\ un\ zip,\ \nfeed\ it\ to\ me,\ fuck\ my\ face,\ squirt\ n\ go.\ no\ games,\ no\ names,\ no\ \nreciprocation!\ very\ discreet,\ I\ live\ alone,\ can\ host\ anytime\ this\ weekend.\ \nYou:\ HWP,\ 45/under.\ clean\ and\ ready\ to\ squirt.\ send\ me\ a\ message\ with\ your\ \ninfo,\ age,\ height,\ weight\ and\ when\ you\ wanna\ squirt.\ Me:\ good\ looking,\ very\ \ndiscreet,\ white\ male.\n%\nHey,\ I\ remember\ one\ time\ out\ on\ the\ ranch\ I\ was\ with\ my\ brother\ and\ I\ \ndecided\ to\ pull\ a\ trick\ on\ my\ brother.\ I\ took\ two\ thick,\ dense\ cords\ of\ \nsheep\ feces\ and\ put\ it\ in\ a\ bowl.\ I\ gave\ to\ my\ brother\ and\ told\ him\ it\ was\ \nchocolate\ pudding.\ He\ began\ to\ eat\ the\ sheep\ feces.\ In\ fact,\ HE\ FINISHED\ \nEVERY\ LAST\ BIT!\ My\ brother\ ate\ sheep\ shit!!!\ But\ the\ funny\ thing\ is,\ I\ don't\ \neven\ have\ a\ brother!\ It\ was\ me!\ I\ ATE\ SHEEP\ SHIT!!!\n%\nlisten\ you\ fucking\ shit\ skinned\ coon\ nigger\ jungle\ bunny\ spear\ chucker.\ Shut\ \nyour\ chocolate\ tar\ baby\ hide\ before\ I\ whip\ your\ ass.\ go\ back\ to\ niggeria\ and\ \nprance\ around\ with\ all\ the\ Schvartza\ in\ the\ bush\ you\ fucking\ moolie\ nigger.\ \nill\ fucking\ brand\ you\ toby,\ and\ if\ you\ try\ any\ of\ that\ KUNTA\ KINTA\ crap\ ill\ \nfucking\ execute\ you\ and\ feed\ you\ to\ pigs.\n%\nthis\ channel\ is\ for\ ballers,\ shot\ callers,\ those\ rolling\ and\ controlling\ and\ \nfolks\ willing\ to\ represent\ memories\ of\ Tupac\ and\ keep\ the\ dream\ of\ the\ Black\ \nPlanet\ alive.\n%\nyou\ shut\ your\ face\ you\ nigger\ loving\ pile\ of\ intestinal\ feces,\ ill\ rip\ your\ \nbowels\ out\ and\ feast\ on\ them,\ then\ i'll\ impregnate\ your\ girlfriend\ and\ wait\ \n7\ months\ then\ unwravel\ her\ belly\ button\ and\ suck\ out\ all\ the\ vaginal\ \ndischarge\ and\ feast\ upon\ the\ baby.\ i\ will\ fornicate\ your\ liver,\ then\ make\ \nyou\ guzzle\ gallon\ after\ gallon\ of\ putrid\ diarrhea.\ you\ will\ gag\ on\ my\ green\ \nlogs\ of\ asshole\ mud\ butter\n%\noh\ wait\ you\ remember\ when\ frodo\ was\ dry\ humping\ bilbo\ up\ the\ ass\ in\ a\ \nclassroom\ at\ gryffendorf\ then\ harry\ potter\ walked\ in\ and\ started\ tossing\ \nfrodo's\ salad\ HOLY\ SHIT\ I\ DO\ NOT\ CARE\n%\nu\ dont\ even\ know\ me\ kid\ shut\ the\ fuck\ up\ hidin\ behind\ your\ computer\ i'd\ \nfuckin\ lump\ u\ out\ if\ you\ fronted\ on\ me\ like\ that\ in\ person\ kid\n%\nSo\ you\ guys\ can\ go\ on\ about\ your\ mitsis\ and\ your\ fake\ idles\ and\ whatever\ \nbullshit\ you\ talk\ about\ to\ pass\ the\ time\ and\ make\ the\ constant\ throbbing\ \nreminder\ that\ your\ live\ is\ a\ living\ hell\ go\ away.\ I'll\ be\ hanging\ out\ with\ \nmy\ FRIEND,\ watching\ anime.\n%\nI'll\ fuck\ you\ in\ the\ ass\ you\ punk\ ass\ white\ boy.\ I'll\ fuck\ you\ in\ the\ ass\ \nyou\ coward,\ you\ bitch.\ You\ fucking\ faggot!\ Come\ up\ and\ take\ me\ on\ you\ scared\ \ncoward.\ You\ white\ bitch.\ You\ ain't\ man\ enough\ to\ fuck\ with\ me,\ bitch!\ There\ \nain't\ no-one\ in\ the\ room\ big\ enough\ to\ take\ me\ on.\ You're\ just\ scared\ like\ a\ \nlittle\ white\ pussy.\ I'll\ fuck\ you\ till\ you\ love\ me,\ you\ faggot!\n%\nIt's\ safe\ to\ say\ that\ I\ am\ one\ of\ the\ world's\ foremost\ experts\ on\ memes\ and\ in\ fact\ there\ is\ no\ one\ I\ can\ think\ of\ that\ has\ a\ meme\ resume\ as\ impressive\ as\ mine.\ So\ please\ tell\ me,\ what\ are\ your\ qualifications\ to\ say\ that\ I\ don't\ know\ what\ a\ meme\ is?\} diff --git a/vars/6c62f30003a5f83c896f627f060c485077518f49 b/vars/6c62f30003a5f83c896f627f060c485077518f49 index 80aab4e..962fcb2 100644 --- a/vars/6c62f30003a5f83c896f627f060c485077518f49 +++ b/vars/6c62f30003a5f83c896f627f060c485077518f49 @@ -1 +1 @@ -array {{} {} l {[]} a b e f i j c d g h} +array {l {[]} {} {} i j e f a b g h c d} diff --git a/vars/c65dc3b9a9ee26e276481edcf644e947ead0fe70 b/vars/c65dc3b9a9ee26e276481edcf644e947ead0fe70 index 6fff5b7..4db10c7 100644 --- a/vars/c65dc3b9a9ee26e276481edcf644e947ead0fe70 +++ b/vars/c65dc3b9a9ee26e276481edcf644e947ead0fe70 @@ -1 +1 @@ -array {゛ {?A;} つ WMKG ヒ J в ZLJLZ г Z<<<< フ ICC?= ゞ {;L=GS?} д IEDZL ブ {KJC?=;} と ==I<J;} и LTPNL ィ {;?B?} й {DA;LTPNL} к LDBDL の {IPPNF;} ゥ {?ZLCC;} ウ {?ZLKCC;} м LVPLL マ YCA?C ェ Z???Z н LLZLL ミ I=GAS ぱ SZJVJ エ J??J о ILLLI ム {;?=EY;} ォ {;CYCG} п ZLLLL メ {;GCA;} オ CYGEG モ JJ=I カ ?ZOMV ャ {;IE??;} キ {;??J;;} ヤ {;;JG?;} ギ {;??J;;} ュ JCCCZ ク {;GEC?;} へ ?ACK ユ A??J グ {SIC?;;} べ {;GACK} ョ ZKZKZ ヨ YKYZK ラ ZZKC?= コ ZKKZK リ {;LLLLKC?} ぽ WXHF@  {?;IBI} サ {AJ?;} ま ?JJAH= レ <<==B 2 JKI <=?=< ? {AD?;?} @ ZLX<<<> ╟ @@@@@@@@@@ à {E@;ZLLZL} ^ =@ ╠ @@@HY Ó {C?;ILLLI} n LNPTL Ċ {?;Z<<Y Ô {?E;ILLLI} ċ {?;Z<<=A à {=?;ZLLZL} ė {?;Z>> Ř {E?;JLJLL} ê {?E;Z í {C?;J???J} Ĥ {?E;LLZLL} ¶ YRYOO Ŝ {?E;Z=G Ǻ {C?;?;ZLLZL} ǻ {C?;?;ZLLZL} ΄ =< ΅ ?N · < π ZLLLL ™ RY ρ JLJ<< ↑ B===== ς J=?=J ⁿ B@@ σ J=?=J ↓ ====B= τ J???? ∂ AIHHA Ω ILLEV υ LLE?? ↕ =B===B= φ ?IPI? ΐ {?N;Z???Z} χ LE?EL Α ZLLZL ψ PPI?? ∆ ?EELZ Β ZLJLZ ω ILLLEV Γ Z<<<< ϊ {E;J???J} Ё {E;Z く {;CA η LLZLL ќ {C?;LDBDL} Х LE?EL デ {JJ?A;} す {CZGEGG;} ゐ {;AGNZZ;} θ ILZLI Ц {LLLLZ;} ト <<>H<< ず {;GJA@A?;} ゑ {AICI;} ι J???J ў {DA;LLE??} ≤ {GBAG;J} Ч LLZKK ド <@>H<< せ EYE=Y を {;J=@=I} κ LDBDL џ LLLZ? ≥ {>IA>;J} Ш PPPPZ ナ {;?J??=} ん ?=?AOC λ ?EELL Щ {PPPPZ;} ニ {J;;J} μ LVPLL ヌ {IC?G;} ν LNPTL た {;;Z=@X} Ь <J в ZLJLZ ゞ {;L=GS?} フ ICC?= г Z<<<< と ==I<J;} ベ {;EADK} з ZKIKZ ィ {;?B?} и LTPNL й {DA;LTPNL} ゥ {?ZLCC;} の {IPPNF;} к LDBDL ウ {?ZLKCC;} ェ Z???Z マ YCA?C м LVPLL エ J??J ぱ SZJVJ ミ I=GAS н LLZLL ォ {;CYCG} ム {;?=EY;} о ILLLI オ CYGEG メ {;GCA;} п ZLLLL カ ?ZOMV モ JJ=I ャ {;IE??;} キ {;??J;;} ヤ {;;JG?;} ギ {;??J;;} ュ JCCCZ ク {;GEC?;} へ ?ACK ユ A??J グ {SIC?;;} べ {;GACK} ョ ZKZKZ ヨ YKYZK ラ ZZKC?= コ ZKKZK リ {;LLLLKC?} ぽ WXHF@  {?;IBI} サ {AJ?;} ま ?JJAH= レ <<==B 2 JKI <=?=< ? {AD?;?} @ ZLX<<<> ╟ @@@@@@@@@@ à {E@;ZLLZL} ^ =@ ╠ @@@HY o ILLLI ċ {?;Z<<Y Č {E?;Z<<=A Ŏ {DA;ILLLI} ª BB@ Ę Z>> Ġ {?;Z ś {C?;Z=G ǻ {C?;?;ZLLZL} ΄ =< ΅ ?N · < π ZLLLL ρ JLJ<< ™ RY ς J=?=J ↑ B===== σ J=?=J ⁿ B@@ τ J???? ↓ ====B= υ LLE?? Ω ILLEV ∂ AIHHA φ ?IPI? ↕ =B===B= χ LE?EL ΐ {?N;Z???Z} ψ PPI?? Α ZLLZL ω ILLLEV Β ZLJLZ ∆ ?EELZ Ё {E;Z ђ =B==YM=K ょ ??AH= ぐ {;CY ゑ {AICI;} ず {;GJA@A?;} ト <<>H<< Ц {LLLLZ;} θ ILZLI を {;J=@=I} せ EYE=Y ド <@>H<< Ч LLZKK ≤ {GBAG;J} ў {DA;LLE??} ι J???J ん ?=?AOC ナ {;?J??=} Ш PPPPZ ≥ {>IA>;J} џ LLLZ? κ LDBDL ニ {J;;J} Щ {PPPPZ;} λ ?EELL ヌ {IC?G;} μ LVPLL た {;;Z=@X} ν LNPTL だ CI=U2} {buy UNIX™©® certification} {cache thumbnails and finder preview from encrypted drive on non-encrypted drive} {catastrophic emoji-parsing failure} {charge 2x the price of a PC for cell phone} {fire all engineers outside emoji design department} {force everybody to use an edgier version of unicode emoji} {get triggered when someone brings up bendgate} {give a brand new root account to anybody mashing enter on login screen} {glue 50 million unsold smartwatches into laptop keyboard} {have Chinese counterfeits that have better quality than genuine products} {hire Oprah} {increase aesthetics of computers by removing fans} {introduce arithmetic error into calculator app} {leak admin password in password dialog} {make computer run slower the older the battery gets} {make computers appeal to urban youths} {make users drive into a swamp} {pick a keyboard key you don't understand and remove it from computers} {pick an interface that looks uncool and remove it from computer} {refuse to service device, even out of warranty} {release new pro-sumer computer for [year] with specs of a comparable machine from [expr [year] - 5]} {self-medicate [choose AIDS cancer] with fruitarian diet} {sell 5000USD laptop held together with hotglue and plastic pop rivets} {use 4 digit PIN to secure FDE key and market that as secret agent anti-cop space technology} {water damage} {wonder what ductility is} {wonder what tensile strength is}} mroach {{ADJUSTING CLOCKS TO 24-HOUR TIME} {APPLE STORE} {BUTT ORGY} {DRIVING 180 KM/H} {EMERGENCY TRIP TO SINGAPORE!} {MORE COCK SUCKING} SODOMY {SUCK DICKS} {VICTOR'S DAD'S COMPANY} {WATCH J-POP DVDS} {\1KALLEBOO\2} {colonial style trip to south africa} {count remaining pages in passports} {enlist in bukkake events} gsm-man {meet kalleboo} {scope out eligible sluts on tinder} {sweaty sex in non-ac'd hostel room} {watch stargate atlantis} {whiskey and doritos}} sjw {{BECAUSE YOUR A FUCKING WHITE MALE} {DIE CIS SCUM} {Revise and return class syllabus to professor with added trigger warnings.} SRS {What? Trigglypuff is evolving!❤} {accuse aesthetic, good looking men of perpetuating toxic masculinity} {accuse opposition of being hitler} {accuse someone of white-splaining in real life} {advocate for more safespaces} {argue that women could be just as good at football as men if it weren't for institutionalized systems of oppression} {beg for donations for new laptop} {bring up wage gap even though it doesn't exist} {buy drugs with patreon money} {claim to have PTSD} {complain about slut-shaming} {defend Muslims who want to rape and beat you} {develop new pronouns} {discover new systems of intersecting oppression} {dye hair CYMK} {dye hair blue} {get almost raped over the internet} {get dike haircut} {get ears gauged} {get new lip disk} {get triggered on reddit instead of work on gender studies masters thesis} {jazz hands} {poetry slam} {pretend that morbidly obese people are beautiful} {sell kid for meth and efnet o-line} {shift at fastfood restaurant} {systematically destroy liberal arts education} {tell people who care about their body and health that they're obsessive and unhealthy} tumblr {update healthy at every size (HAES) blog} {wish you were also disabled and trans so you could win the oppression Olympics} {woman studies class}} gape {D8 {gape someone} {get gaped} r/gapes} cuck {{ask wife if you can take her son to a bernie sanders rally} {call every man who disagrees with bleeding-heart bullshit a 'redpiller' or 'gamergater'} {consult with avi} {do not vote trump} {follow @randileeharper} {fund patreon} {google 'cuckold'} {invite better-endowed man to cure wife of female hysteria} {soak in white male guilt} {watch an hour of fat troll jewess exposing the insidious sexism in duke nukem 3d} {worry about accidental mansplaining}} arab {{crazy pills} {daily reminder for #flashsupport} {fuckyou.pl tater} {kline tater} slp} chzz {{abruptly quit chat for no apparent reason} {advance two cycles debugging mineral assembly code} {bleach teeth to hide evidence of marijuana abuse} {brain storm new ways to be hostile to coworkers} {bully coworkers into quitting} {clandestinely chat on #gamme during off site} {classify co-workers as minerals} {complain about impossible bay area real estate} {covered in snakes but ate a stress burrito} {debug PCIe AI doo dad for cash} {depressive leetcode grind} {disable firefox getpocket mind control tiles} {dose expired nootropics to improve leetcode performance} {fantasize about automats} {get abused on irc by alcoholic mathman} {get confused for Saddam Hussein} {get excited about offsite at law office} {get kicked from #gamme for complaining about work} {get stalked on github} {get zapped by waymos} {grind graph algorithms and then screw up streaming min/max} {grind on leetcode and then grindr} {have identity rejected by credit report website} {hellworld hellworld hellworld} {hope ldexp coworker had aneurysm} {hope ldexp coworker had stroke} {hyperventilate while porting assembly code} {make loaf of bread} {order new/exciting nootropic from nootropicsdepot.com to help cope with open office} {plot w/ jbs how to best murder dogs} {prepare savoury instant ramen dinner} {rage quit job via screensaver} {rant about slack being shit} {return home to bay area hovel} {stick needle in techlead voodoo doll} {study mianxiang xue} {train punjabi replacement} {upgrade leetcode account to Premium} {use accidentally relaxed recruitment portal permissions to peek asking salaries} {use funemployment time to write dsp code in golang} {use radios to spy on the sick and dying} {vomit from stress} {worry about eviction} {write rust driver for counterfeit sensor module}} bankrupt {{multinational corporation with one simple tweet}} be {{the ideasguy on spare time and ask contributors to sign ndas}} weev {{Claim to have invested 500k USD in 'scientific equipment' for crypto startup} {brag to gawker} {chat on #gamme} {claim to be in [eastern_european_word]} {claim to have sold 200BTC at 18000USD} {cluster-b personality disorder} {colab with sam hyde} {do something poorly thought out and impulsive} {eat half gram of phenylpiracetam and beat wife} {fall guy} {get banned from another payment processor} {groom neckbeard} livejournal {shout about jews} {style self as a joker like character on-line} {tweet rude things to feds} {two line bash shell} {typical manlet behavior}} constitutional crisis get croissantblocked jenk {{Lure potential drones to the San Francisco Bay Area} {SUBMIT DMCA TAKEDOWN REQUESTS} {appear out of no where and tell us we chat wrong} {attend event at noisebridge} {be bad at destiny} {be too soft to hang in #cockes} {blog about lame concern troll to [choose {Open Software Foundation} Apple POSIX]} {blog on tumblr} blogging {brag about scamming money in an mmorpg} {chat as [?? [string'reverse [names]]]} {create another gimmick nick} {create new joke/vanity project on github} {curate chatter whitelist} {curate minecraft server} {emo-quit real irc} {examine mcquack-style vault filled with one dollar bills} {explain who /truly/ doesn't care} {find new irc networks to idle on} {get triggered by some tcl} {get winded and sit down while going up stairs} {give ted talk on black hat hacking for epic megalolz} {hide out on slack} {lash out on irc about something that doesn't affect me} {leave a toxic turd in chat before slamming the door on the way out} {maintain irc rouges gallery} {make rubrique for links} {plug fingers in ear and rant about faceless sponges} {pose as if living the troll lifestyle} {practice looking like a shifty russian jew} {pretend to be a racist on irc} {pursue sales lead on slack} {reminisce about an internship from 2005} {ruin incog's chances at happiness by turning qpzdox against him} {sabotage [choose #buttes #flashsupport #eve@[choose GameSurge QuakeNet Freenode slack slashdot reddit] slashdot] with [?? [names]]} {sabotage [choose #buttes #flashsupport GameSurge QuakeNet Freenode slack slashdot reddit slashdot] with [?? [names]]} {send nza to disrupt noisebridge event} {subvert #gamme and all it stands for} {swap profile pic on twitter. use another 10 year old one to hide fat.} {unironically call shoutcast server 'klulz'} {unironically promote software as a service} {warn people not to be too edgy on slack} {weep inconsolably about 12 lines of tcl}} JacobRapelbaum {{get daily news from BBC Pidgin Service}} {[]J} {{get connection reset by great firewall}} amit {} tcl {{+agenda realdev replace webdevs polymorphism with discriminated unions} {piss off stallman} {shitty gui from 1991} upvar} ideasguy {{ceo larp} {decline salary, offer tiny percentage of equity to technical team members} {defend elon musk's honor} {follow every second of spacex launch} {follow paul graham} {force pomodoro method on the devs and ask them to work 25 minutes on single task at a time, ignore the breaks} {force team members to sign NDA before telling anything about your project} {founder larpp} {hire marketing people so you don't feel alone in the office} {practice your pitching skills} {spam known angel investors with generic email template} {when devs come to your office, flip hourglass}} meepsheep {{cuddle with his dakimakura} {tweet as ogklorei}} D8 D8 bat {{Sleep upside-down} {crawl pathetically} {eat bugs} {get nose cancer} huddle {infest attics} {leathery flapping} screech {spread rabies}} dsp {{[welshword]}} boeoegg {{accidentally name work computer after adolf hitler's favourite residence}} trump {{Alienate cybernetic monster} {Charge third world dictators 300k USD/night to stay at Maralago} {Do whatever my daughter says.} {Emoluments from Foreign Heads of State} {Golfing at Maralago} KFC McDonalds {Satiate Narcissistic Personality Disorder by pitting sycophants against each other} {Watch Fox and Friends} {accidentally get own lawyer disbarred} {apologize about statments about [?? $::racism_tuples]} {appoint unelectable political hacks as yesmen} {ban travel to europe} {blame health care on ryan} {brainwash young alienated beta males} {build a wall} {buy fidget spinner for barron trump} {buy wendy's for the college football team} {cancel cabinet meeting and have campaign rally instead} {classify tweets as official statements by the President of the United States} {complain about congressional nipples} {constitutional crisis} {delegate everything to vice-president} {demand bad hombre caravans pay for the wall} {do whatever Jared :^) Kushner says} {drain the swamp} {extra slice of cheese cake} {extreme vetting} {fail to make appointments below the cabinet level months in to office} {feeling of unease as there's no easy way out of the con} {fire someone} {fuck Ivanka} {fucker her right in the pussy} {fun and easy trade war with china} {go bankrupt} inauguration {invade syria} {laugh at rubes} {let Russian collusion blow up in his face} {lookup teapot dome on wikipedia} {make america great again} {overcook steak} {pardon bucket of KFC for black history month} {pay off adult film star} {pee on prostitute} {pledge allegiance to greater israel} {pose for GRU компромат videos} {privatize the United States air traffic control system} {protect america from violent MS13 gangs} {random act of malignant narcissism} {remember the forgotten man} {reveal self as conman after long con job} {rile up boomers} {run 'The Producers' style scam for 18 years} {say radical islam} {self incriminate in 140 characters or less} {shutdown government to own the libs} {stay in public housing at G20 meeting} {touch orb} win {work on TrumpCare plan} {work on secret plan for [choose ISIS {the economy} jobs]} {yell that this isn't over when defeated}} tater {{ask for #exodus invite} {ban mtw for life} {code hard} {continuously beg for #cockes invite for [expr [year] - 2015] years} {convert the entirety of google images to braille} {file 4 new llcs} {forget to renew turdlink.us registration} {get fuckyou.pl'd on sandnet} {jack off} {move turdlink to slack} {note that jet fuel cant melt steel beams} {passively cyberstalk old irc nemeses by liking their posts on twitter} {peak in high school} {port arab's irssi aliases to weechat} {rat everyone out} reddit {retreat to slack} {run #flashsupport into the ground} {scroll the same shit over and over} {serious debugging session} {smoke weed} {update horse dick porn folder} worldstar} a {*zoinks* {avoid the noid} {break bot with upvar} {break shellbox} {chinese cartoons} {defend festung schwanz} {make top quality procs} {man the flagpole at fort dick} {master tcl} {practice acting suspiciously} {practice acting suspiciously, passive-aggressively} {stay noided} {struggle with haskell}} cscareerquestions {{Ask about problems on LeetCode} {Ask for feedback on github profile} {Ask if they should take a year off to study for google interview} {Complain about coworkers indentation style} {Dream of moving to Bay Area} {Imposter Syndrome} Kruger-Dunning {Solicit immigration advice from 17 year old} {Wonder what machine learning actually is} {ask for feedback on linkedin profile} {complain about office layout}} bentley {{be overjoyed at breaking the 10mpg mark} {cylinder head gasket failure} {fill up} {run out of petrol} {rust in inaccessible place} {£7,000 repair job that would be £700 on any other car}} snb {{inject spliff} {make stoner chili} {skyline chili} {smoek weed} {trip to gnome depot}} #cockes {{be catty} {chat about computers} {log poo} {say nigger a lot} {scroll agenda procs} {winkie-incog fight} {write tcl in [year]}} ScheisseGern {} erm {} l0de {{fuck up audio settings} {get account banned from craigslist} {get banned form another audio/video streaming service} {hang up on gamme} {ignore request for DOSKING} {jack off} {let mtw suck your cock} {livestream irc} {livestream youtube} {play LoL} {play jimmy carter to gnaa elections} {play shitty rap music from 2003} {pretend people are actually watching LRH} {pretend to be a black man over the phone} {send weirdos form craigslist to noisebridge} {snitch on mtw} {snitch on slimer} {threaten to drive a Carnival cruise ship into the White House} {troll craigslist} {try to get slimer killed}} colin {{Add Sun Tzu quotes to Facebook profile} {Edit Linkedin profile} {Share stories from the Harvard Business Review on facebook} {Tea with the Gateses} {Test Drive AMG} {[gaybar]} {answer calls from recruiters} {ask flight attendand to remove the crying baby from business class} {attend board meeting while severely hungover} {bash potsmokers in the spirit of nancy reagan} {be toxic} {brag a lot even by irc standards} {brag to irc about imaginary tinder dates} {bravery on the internet} {browse reddit.com} {buy eminently sensible car for once in my life} {buy obscure vintage watch} {carefully manoveur around piss bottles} {celebrate wexit} {champagne in concorde} {change interior of gaswagon after tinderdate gone right} {chat about bowel movement} {chat hard at 35,000 feet} {check for signs of puberty kicking in} {chip mondea for better fuel efficiency} {circle want ads in the telegraph} {claim ownership of short-term lease} {collect dole} {comission a monster jaguar and then sell it} {complain about [choose BMW Mercedes Jaguar Bentley Rolls-Royce Porsche Ferrari] build quality} {complain about chat bullies adding agenda items} {complain about chinese tourists} {complain about florida} {complain on IRC about the airport in [?? $::states]} {consult feng shui manual} crossfit {cut off winkie's gas} {daydream of owning a Series III jaguar} {death at sea due to negligent maintenance} {decide on favourite meme} {decide what kind of ethnic take-out to get} {delete everything} {do driving test for 5th time in 4th country} {don shiteating grin} {donate expired food to charity} {dont answer the phone} {dream about being german} {dream about growing a beard} {dream about living on a scottish island} {drink entire bottle of pepto-bismol} {drive expensive toy like a man half one's age} {drive the cancerbus} {eat dodgy takeout} {emoquit irc forever} {empty my nine at the jobcentre line} {evade taxes} {evaluate procs about self} {executive empathy training course} {fail at cli} {fill up bentley} {forget basic excel functions} {get a monsterjag} {get agenda replaced with aidsbee proc} {get blackout drunk under desk from hip flask} {get called a cunt by a 9yo (rightfully)} {get cops called on you} {get croissantblocked} {get driver's license from [?? $::socialist_country]} {get drivers license from [?? $::states] } {get drunk at the centurion lounge} {get drunk on viennese spritzes} {get hammered in centurion lounge} {get kicked out of america} {get ruined during working hours} {get shat on by a bird} {get stung by a bee with aids} {get threatened with arrest} {get thrown out of a restaurant after assaulting other customers} {gift irc with a fruity colloquialism} {give up drinking forever} {go to blackpool, ride tram} {go to sports physician for a sex related injury} {have erectile disfunction} {head department of watch acquisitions} {hide from Grog} {huff gas} {huff gas professionally} {important meeting in london} {industrial toot engineering} {infiltrate and poison closed circle of friends while in siege mode, leading to its slow deterioration and death} {install stacks to mondeo and roll coal} {install train whistle on porsche suv} {insult the dutch} {keep bees} {kikeoff with landlord} {kill dogge} {lead nerds along with (implicit) promise of unspecified future professional opportunities} {light furnances} {look up synonyms for excrement} {lure people dependent on external validation for their sense of identity with a strong and powerful character on chat} {make ethnic friends in gas class} {make up edgy backstories and anecdotes} {make zyklon-b jokes in gas class} {max credit card in luxury clothes store} {move back in with mom and dad} {name two all-time favourite most epic memes} {needlessly elaborate excel formulae} {ode to turds} {pay 800 bucks to fix his jewelry} {petition court to change name to Macht Frei Arbeit in preparation for new passport} {plan to join the police} {ponder what rhymes with deuce} {pose for professional portrait} {post racist youtube video} {practice looking like harry potter} {practice shiteating grin} {pretend to be a cartoon villain to impress irc} {pretend to be a useful networking peer} {pretend to laugh at ancient catchphrases} {pretend wife's money is one's own} {project sociopathic traits onto others in calculated attempts to ruin trust} {put grog on ignore} {quit job at jenk boiler company} {raise fear, uncertainty and doubt about characters with genuinely interesting backstories and opinions} {read a lad mag} {repair bentley} {repaste all of today's facebook posts to irc} {run startup company} {say good bye to single market} {sell mondeo :(} {send desperate, unsolicited cover letters to catfish on linkedin} {shop for a ridiculous used vehicle} {shop for nice things} {sidestep cat piss} {snitch on chat bullies to chat administrator} {spend morning writing poo poetry} {spend remaining money on maintaining classic british car} {spend £300 on mondeo} {spread mischa's disinformation} {steak at the waldorf astoria} {stop car to buy fhm and maxim} {successful return to tinder} {talk about bowel movements} {talk shit} {tell incog to get a job} {testosterone shots} {tinder date in bentley turbo-r} {tinder date in ford transit} {tinder date in jag back seat (remember to update tinder.xlsx)} {tinder date on 787} {tinder date on a 737 max} {toilet haiku} {trick people from craigslist into letting me joyride in their classic luxury car} {trip to scotland} {trip to whistler} {try to reprogram winkie into hating his real friends} {try to squeeze <4L/100km out of mondeo} {try to troll the condo association's listserv} {undergo pandemic lockdown with 9.5/10 Greek nurse} {vanquish winkie} {visual basic script for applications} {vp of dp at gape development} {wanking in front of the bathroom mirror} {wash cumstains off gaswagon} {waste an evening listening to a doomed startup pitch} {watch apprentice unload a truck} {work on shartup} {wreck rental car because it's the wrong make/model} {wreck tinder sluts} {write press release for wharton alumni magazine}} nop {{bring da motherfuckin ruckus} {disparage winkie} {grumpy shenanigans ^__^} {struggle with belgians}} feem {{get 4chan license} {struggle with tcl}} hep {{claim to be from [eastern_european_word]} {get mansplained} {try new instagram filters}} COVID {{EAT BATS}} apply {{for perl cto position}} develop {{reasonml and bikeshed the syntax for years}} ask {{flight attendand to remove the crying baby from business class}} Winkie {{[. Day [rand 10000] of chat blockade]} {study for level 1 chat administrator exam}} MTW {{get snitched on by l0de} {typical manlet behavior}} incog {{Argue with Winkie in PM} {Argue with [fixnick Winkie]} {Chat on #flashsupport} {Collect dole} {Dump Arcade Rom} {Find XSS in geocities site} {Get jumped while walking home from the pub} {Jobcentre Appointment} {LARP poverty} {Shake keyboard upside down and roll dropping in to a rizla} {Tell homeless story again} {Troll some bronies} {add heart stickers to My New Dad - Trump album} {alienate remaining friends by reblogging infowars jibberish} {armchair philosophy} {attack other people's credentials} {bankrupt multinational corporation with one simple tweet} {be pitied by gamme} {be toxic} {become weev-lite} {beg for poverty vps} {blame lack of technical skills on drug use} {blank procs i dont like} {blog about evading MI6 spook niggers' traps} {blog against wage slavery} {blog at gamme in desperation after losing all irl and irc friends} {blog for eight hours to himself on chat how he has not just been trolled} {blog relentlessly about games} {browse reddit.com/r/4chan} {browse the corpse of a forum for frustrated autists} {build up over a year of i told you so's} {buy 10 shit bags of weed from random people of colour} {buy [goon_food] at corner shop} {buy mouldy counterfeit tobacco from some pakis } {call [nick] a faggot} {call [nick] a gobshite} {call [nick] a nerd} {call agenda proc zzz} {call agenda shit} {call colin^ boring} {chat in #gamme} {chat on slack through internet nanny proxy} {claim plan 'A' for the america trip was to vote for trump} {claim that anyone worthy of being banned will evade yet never evade twitter ban} {claim to be leader of anonymous} {coast through life resting on internet badboy status (c.f. weev)} {collect dole} {collect eu agricultural subsidies} {collect £10 dole money while decrying employment as slavery} {complain about 0-hour contract} {complain about using irc from his phone} {complain about wage slavery and oppression of employment} {conflate role as an abrasive autist with that of a persecuted victim} {confuse posting on /pol/ with civil disobedience} {crash bot} {dangerous donald drumpf} {defend Donald Trump's honour on the internet} {defend New Dad: Donald Drumpf van der Covfefe} {defend new york con man across all irc networks} {deride [nick] for linking to reddit} {destroy the cucks by upvoting every post on reddit.com/r/the_donald} {develop pants-shitting insane delusion} {disparage #cockes while also begging for +e} {disregard fossil record} {download latest archer} {eat mcdonald's} {edit remote.ini} {fail at reading comprehension} {feel guilty about hacking 300 million dollars from Logitech} {feel guilty about hacking the american government just because you could} {feel guilty about using immense hacking powers for evil} {figure out when i get paid so i can work out how much i can borrow for drugs} {flip turtles over} {get a new 0-hour contract} {get aids from chatgirl} {get banned from every chat except tater's} {get banned from mischa's irc retirement community} {get called crazy and shunned, despite being right} {get called crazy and shunned, despite having 4chin on his side} {get catfished by arab} {get dumped by chat girl for being a nazi} {get duped by a new york con man} {get e-diagnosed by an irc grifter/fed} {get irrevocably banned from net retirement home for delusional ranting} {get k-lined by winkie} {get mad at the cia} {get null routed} {get obliterated on cough syrup} {get proved wrong with a line of tcl [rand 1000]} {get shunned on the last nerd hole that let you on} {get some salt and vinegar for the chip on my shoulder} {get three 0-hour jobs} {get trolled by dubz} {get trolled by everyone} {get trolled by mtw} {get trolled by noweed} {get trolled by this proc} {get welcomed to table} {go snitch to other trolls the second you get uninvited from chat} {hesitantly use lunix} {inhale lighter gas} {interview for new 0-hour position} {invent relationship with chatgirl in head} {larp on line as neurotypical yet spend 18 hours a day online} {learn something} {lie to everybody to make them feel like a great injustice has been done to you} {link isis beheading video} {lose in autist battle} malinger {meet with chav weed dealer} {organise a convention for cucks to listen to over a year of built up i told you so's} {plan media campaign to trick kim jong un into murdering his sister} {post blue lives matter} {press »OK« ok C♯ doodad} {pretend real nazis wouldn't just kick the shit out of him in real life} {pretend to be a mame insider} {pretend to be paedophile} {quit janitor job} {reference feem's obesity} {remind people that agenda procs are tired and old} {reminisce about living under a viaduct in londonderry} {repetitively whine about vapid chats} {rollercoaster tycoon} {scrape pipe} {signalboost conspiracy theory from /r/the_donald to his irc pals} {smoek weed err fortnight} {smoke a cigarette every 12 minutes} {submit resume with ifuckyourkids@gmail.com email address to retail clerk position} {suffer organ failure} {summarize reddit.com/r/the_donald for #cockes enjoyment} {take the blackpill} {take twenty lines of chat to explain how he has not just been trolled} {teach his irc pals about the latest thing he learned on /pol/} {tell cadets story} {tend to window box garden} {threaten obama and/or adrian lamo} {top 10 nasheed video countdown} {treat aids with weed} {trump train} {try to get high on cremated moths} {try to make friends with the last chatter who's not ignoring him - TIMTOM} {turn a conversation about computers into incomprehensible rage blog about jews} up+enter {use the word 'cucks'} {use »View Source« to hack into the nuclear mainframe} {wall of text after someone posts a link about trump} {watch faggots make procs about himself} {woo antifa chatgirl by being a nazi}} 10 {{}} weasel {{browse m4m} {install grindr.} {remove grindr.}} schlemihl {{feed his pet lizard} {ruin dubz's good name}} malcom {{beat wife} {become mde irc superfan} {become skiddish} {check into rehab again} {contribute game-changing tcl procs} {fix tcl proc} {freak out over smiley faces and quit irc forever again} {get fired from internship} {heroin overdose} {play part of battered wife} {shit pants} {support kurdish separatists from safety of canada} {surround self with literal retards} tcl {torrent HBO shows from work} {visit methadone clinic}} templeos {{8 hours of youtube videos} {Claim to be the king of NV, NM, AZ (don't really like the other places in the country)} {Trigger HN and get hellbanned for life} {after rambling on for 15 minutes have a reasonable point about software being needlessly complicated} {ask 4chan if it's a good idea to stop taking antipsychotics} {begrudgingly use ubuntu to get anything useful done} {browser random internet pages without adblock} {build a whole ecosystem of useful and fun holyc apps} {build the world's only 64-bit OS backed by god} {call over engineered software products 'niggerlicious'} {change os name} {collect ssdi} {delete everything} {delusions of grandeur} {explain why you're smarter than whatever group was just brought up to you} {expose vmware's deliberate malicious discrimination against god's temple} {get banned from everywhere for screaming the n word} {get kicked out of parents' house for yelling about dead puppies and publishing it oti} {get riled up on drudge} {gladly accept paypal donations} {greet black people with 'hi nigger'} {hack on holyc in your spare time} {have bookmarks filled with pants shitting websites} {have life's work ruined by inability to work with uefi} {issue death threats against intel engineers} {jerk off live on cam ™} {live in a van} {live in van} {live in van with toothless elderly hooker} {livestream stream funny schizophrenia on homemade rstp server} {look down on fools who would use a colour palette higher than 8-bit} {look down on fools who would use a resolution higher than 640x480} {look for secret patterns in the bible} {make 'porn' videos for random women} {make unreasonable demands on tech companies} {make »let's play« video of god's temple} {mention ticketmaster again} {missed court date} {rage when someone mentions haskel} {refuse to use grub} {set up terry live on cam ™ system} {shasta run} {shit in bag} {spend entire budget on denny's and starbucks} {steal code of shitty ticketmaster os to seed s̶p̶a̶r̶r̶o̶w̶ ̶l̶o̶s̶e̶t̶h̶o̶s̶templeos} {talk to god through rng} {tell people about the time he went to school while serving a two month jail sentence for a dui} {tell people about the time you worked at ticketmaster} {throw parakeet against wall} {try to make a useful technical point but break down about CIA niggers in middle of sentence} {yell about »CIA niggers«} {yell about »CIA niggers« live on cam} {yell about »CIA niggers« to your parents live on cam}} gnu {} write {{a gulp plugin to concatenate files}} blimp {{brutalise intern} {decant cabernet sauvignon} {decant pinot noir} {eat at a michelin 3 star restaurant} {get shoes shined by a negro boy} {place trades to cover position working around risk controls} {pontificate over glass of fie blanc} {post quality reddit link on #cockes} {read f.t. while getting shoes polished} {screaming match with trading desk manager} {shop for Hermés tie} {sip sauvignon blanc} {throw iPhone at wall and destroy it in rage}} hex {{abandon ship} ascend {assemble fallen angel council} {assume nothing} {be more persistent} {be patient} {be thorough} {bleach the filth} {burn down false prophets} {bury the infidel} {cancel the re-run} {cleanse the goof} {contain the fluke} {correct the gaffe} {create memes with the gimp} {debunk the unworthy} {decontaminate the taint} {derail the neophyte} {dethrone the usurper} {discard the tin of mechanically reclaimed meat} {erase the stain} {eviscerate the boob} {expel the waste} {expose the counterfeit} {expunge the sponge} {exterminate the barnacle} {extinguish the charlatan} {flush the ginger pube later} {get trolled by unicode} hate {hate hate hate} {hate hate hate hate hate} {hate hate hate hate hate hate hate} {ignore the human noise} {keep learning} {kill the fraud} learn {level up} {mute the mimic} {never relax} {nullify the blunder} {obliterate the fumble} {passive-aggressively add disparaging items to others' agendas} persist {pretend to ironically cheer for war crimes against saudi arabia and their lackeys} {purge the foul} {purify the blemish} {quell the impostor} {reassess karmic balance} {rectify the profane} {remedy the muck} {remember when other people claim they "don't care" it usually means they don't know or understand, yet believe they do.} {remove the cloacal discharge} {reverse the lapse} {rewind the miscue} rise {seriously, verify.} {silence the quack} {snuff out the imitator} {squelch the phony} {stalk asian girls on twitter} {stop being so fucking naive} {stop blogging at the arrogant dandy of a human chat multiplexer} {subdue the poseur} {teach how natural selection differs from survival of the fittest} {trust nobody} {tweet thinly-veiled death threats at al-qaeda} {tweet thinly-veiled death threats at mps} {unmask the pretender} {unset own agenda and fill it with different crazy shit} verify {verify. verify, you dumb shit.} {wake the fuck up} {wake up}} mdl {#thickassroux {break bot} {browse r/poztwinks} {chat from shinkansen} {complain about gooks} {continue search for Dis*Doc} {contribute obscure feature patch to open source program} {deliberately confuse IOT with Internet of Twinks} {explain to [choose avi winkie ollipekka hex] what a monad is} {fired for arrogantly automating the spreadsheets} {fuck me on shithub} {get told by a sperg to brush up on netiquette} {give computing history lesson} {ironically use fvwm95} {photograph and tweet lunch} {practice template metaprogramming with c++} {rendezvous at bugis junction} {ride shinkansen} {search for rare software} {submit patch to emacs} {typed functional programming language sales call} {use SMT solver to achieve warez bonanza} {use polyspace to ensure absence of bugs of keygen} {write quine in [choose OCaml F# C++14]}} take {{twenty lines of chat to explain how he has not just been trolled}} tem {{blog absent-mindedly to #cockes} firewater peacepipe} zaphod {} terrorist {LELELELELELE {budget terror plot} {frame jews for 9/11} {order casio f-91w on amazon}} boss {{fix pointy-hair} {take advice from business insider} {wear a cheap suit and hope no one notices}} jbs {{babby's first nmap} {be obsessed with jenk} {be rucas} {brag about having a membership to a dwarven iron gym} {browse SRS just to agree with whatever they're hulking out about} {browse fitmisc} {browse incels.me} {browse outlaws forums} {browse r/AsianMasculinity} {browse r/coontown} {chat with winkie in pm} {commence aktion-t4} {complain about nmom} {ddos the wrong ip again} {eat whole pack of smoked salmon} {fail at life miersably} {fail to read chat rules} {farmers wank until failure} {feel empathy towards posters of r/nmom} {find DISDOC} {get jealous of dubz's btn membership class} {give something back to the world} {glue two tcl procs} {go chop your dollar} gym {hang out at the bathhouse with gym pals} {harass winkie on reddit} {highlight winkie} {insert penis into chicken cloaca} irc {laugh at colin's racist youtube link} {lunch at the berghof} {make another mad libs proc} {make procs great again} mansplaining {measure bully-worth levels in chat peers} {outgrow pants againt} {pants shopping} {perceive reasonable request to write a unit test as personal insult} {pirate heino flacs and load on phone} {play dave brubeck's 'time out' record but skip 'take five' because it's overplayed} {pretend to ironically browse r/coontown} {read another book about nixon} {refresh incog's icons every time he starts to get too close to the truth} {remind @xychelsea that he is an ugly man in a dress} {ruin hex's good name} {scan the wrong ip for a week} {set up an rwhois trap} smugness {snitch on chat bullies to chat administrator} {spam procs that highlight winkie} {spam the agenda proc} {stop doing research to clean up someone else's devOOOOOOOPs mess} {suck dicks} {suck jenk's dick} {take zootour in public transport} {talk to gamme on the phone} {thoughtfully peruse /r/sarmssourcetalk} {troll outlaws forum} {try to get a nigger to appear on avi's screen} {try to reprogram winkie into hating his real friends} {twitter on the shitter} {wank farmers till failure} {wrestle with 2 lines of TCL}} ukraine {{export prostitutes} {export waiters} {fight with gazprom} {fight with putin}} cscareerquestion {{Imposter Syndrome}} zewb {{pretend to be dolphin} {pretend to be malcom} {pretend to be vxp}} rollo {} buddy {barf bark {bark at car} {bark at door} {bark at mailman} beg {chase nigger} eat {eat the poop} {lick own genitalia} nap pant {piss on floor} {roll in dead hedgehog} {roll in dead skunk} {roll in dead squirrel} {roll in the poop} {rub belly on run} stare whine} cat {SLEEP PERCH SNUGGLE MURR TUNA SHIT SPRINT YOWL PISS {POOF TAIL} {THROW UP} {HORK HORK HORK} KNEAD SCRATCH {PICK FURNITURE} {PRESSY PAW} {contemplate murdering owner} {get maimed by dog} {shit in box} {take photos for internet}} cockes {{be catty} {chat about computers} {log poo} {say nigger a lot} {scroll agenda procs} {winkie-incog fight} {write tcl in [year]}} white {{[?? [lines $::Niggerdeath]]}} freebsdgirl {{Scam the IRS} {[?? $::agenda(bats)]} {[?? $::agenda(sjw)]} {abort patreon scam after the irs gets wind of it} {accuse detractors of being MRA} {block people on twitter} {call self freebsdgirl for 15 years despite never contributing anything of value} {child abuse} {child endangerment} {complain about men} dev-ooops {dox bill collector} {dye hair new colour} {get caught scamming the IRS} {get fired} mcdonalds meth {move goal posts} {patron scam} {show off fat rolls on twitter} {smoke meth} {try to find a flattering angle for a profile picture} {write terrible medium.com blog post}} bsd DIE zapanig {{zappity zap}} dog {{bury that cat you maimed} {choke on things that aren't food} {destroy furniture} {eat the poop} fart {lick balls} {lick butt} {roll in ... well I don't know but it really stinks} {roll in dead fish} {roll in the poop} {rub butt across carpet} {shit everywhere} sleep {steal food} {suck up to the boss} vomit {vomit and eat own vomit}} realdev {{Read (correctly) out loud: \"Assign the return value of function shittify called with the argument myothernumber as the value of the address of the pointer to the integer mynumber.\" [mmm].} {Read (correctly) out loud: \"Assign the return value of function shittify called with the argument myothernumber as the value of the pointer to the integer mynumber. [mmm].\"} {Renew Dr. Dobb's Subscription} {Roll your own cryptography} {Roll your own cryptography, knowing full well it's a bad idea} {Use K&R C} {Use computed arithmetic if} {Use computed go-to} {accidentally call codebase your baby} {achieve performance several orders of magnitude better than webdev} {add llvm backend to your obsecure hobby language} {adopt rx in every project} {advocate rfp} alcoholism {always say 10 sp when asked for story points} {ascend for the nth time in nethack} {attempt to use Reddit humor in awkward office conversation} {avoid dynamic dispatching} {avoid heap allocations} {avoid recruiters} {bang a miku girl only to discover it was a miku boy. don't let it bother.} {be afraid to open laptop screen in public} {be confused at how to use twitter} {begrudgingly use github even though you hate it} {blog on irc about the conspiracy of computer dunces} {call everyone a cuck} {can't use agendafight proc since your terminal is 80 chars wide} {casually use PUA LINQO} {check if n-gate has been updated} {collude on irc against webshits on hn} {come out of mra closet @ lambdaconf} {compile with max optimizations} {con webdev into wasting time on x11 replacement based on node/rust/go} {conduct a social engineering experiment on tinder with your superior technical knowledge} {consider programming languages without macros useless} {cyberstalk n-gate guy in hopes of making a friend} {deploy watcom c++ compiler hacks} {desk check numerical method} {despise go} {despise ides} {despise objects} {despise social coding} {despise webdevs} {disable microarchitectural "security flaw" mitigations} {discover a bug in underlying processor architecture} {discuss latex dialects} {don't use graphical debugger} {dream about being a kernel programmer} {dream of an underground lair in a skull-shaped volcano} {drive a van into a crowd} {endorse people you hate with 'vb6', 'outlook' and 'javascript' skills on linkedin} {episode of sub-psychotic rage at the name "'hacker' news"} {explain to webdev why goto is sometimes neccessary} {feel threatened by cocs} {fortran 77} {get banned from hackernews intentionally} {get banned from reddit for elitism} {get banned from slashdot for elitism} {get hired to do obscure programming task for substantial amount of money} {get tarbombed by webdev} {get told to add dongle to executable} {hangout at #regex and relax by fixing other people's problems} {hire a sugarbabe} {hoard SGI hardware} {hulk out after request to change gender column in persons table to varchar(1024)} {inherit project from webdev} {insist on having plain vi installed} {laugh at people on /r/badcode flipping out over bracket placement} {learn a programming language by writing a compiler for it} {literally spell out exactly what webdev has to do in bullet points to stop stalling the whole fucking project} {live in an involuntary celibate} {lose job for colored ascii swastika seen on terminal window} {lose job for f-bomb} {maintain anonymous cvs server} {make your application single observable} {memorise 1980s computer standard} metaprogramming {object pools} {only use real man's scripting languages} {open your screen on sparcstation} {optimize libuv but don't submit a patch} {optimize prematurely} {participate in 4k competition} {participate in code golf competition} {period of autistic rage after you discover your primitives get boxed} {practice functional programming} {pray forgiveness from pl gods after using reflection} {psychotic rage at incomplete implementation of IDE's vim compatibility mode} {publish important code with a joke license} quaternions {read asktom for oracle advice} {read slashdot} {read slashdot even though it's [year]} {recreational use of c++} {recreationally create your own red-black tree} {remap keyboard} {reminisce 90s demo culture} {reminisce about the state of linux distros in the early to mid 90s} {remove pimpl related code from codebase} {remove trivial copy-protection for sport} {replace webdevs polymorphism with discriminated unions} {reverse engineer obsecure platform from the 80s} {rewrite a library because it was made by a worse programmer} {rewrite every project using RX with something better} {run exotic (possibly self-made) ircd on an sgi o2} {sanitize test db full of identifiers from 20 years of development with friends after aquisition} {search for nlp and get harry potter} {setup in-bound dial-up line to his workstation just in case} {shake head in disgust at SaaS} {social anxiety} softice {spend days configuring gnuplot} {spend friday ironically writing ansi c} {spend hours looking for a working crack for mathematica} {sperg out over numerical method} {start calling webdev chad after you find out he is succesful with women} {study assembly output for better optimizations} {submit application manual in latex and a pdf and insist that this the same as making a google doc} {suffer from rsi} {summarize hackernews on n-gate.com} {take cobol job for kicks} {talk about looksmaxing} {talk fondly about a computer they owned in 1990} {tell a dick joke and get coc'd} {troll webdevs on github} {try a new static analysis tool} tuxracer {type »underage slut twerking« into tor browser} {unironically call devops 'dev oops'} {unironically lead project »Gamer's Edge«} {update linux on ipaq} {use 50 year-old programming language} {use 80s build system} {use c} {use c++} {use codewarrior for giggles} {use commercial c compiler} {use debug.com} {use discriminated unions} {use flat memory model} {use forth} {use fortran} {use gnuplot to chart loneliness} {use grindr to pick up trans women} {use heavily customized Thinkpad T40 laptop} {use hollerith strings} {use hungarian notation} {use macros} {use macros to build your own type system} {use obsecure programming language} {use proprietary revision control system which is much better in every way} {use tinyfugue} valgrind weak-pointers {wear hatsune miku mask} {wonder why oracle sorts are unstable over nullable columns} {work on an important nethack mod} {work on important project} {worry about UUIDv4 collisions} {worry about c++ abi overhead} {worry about purity} {worry about reference of locality} {worry about side effects} {write 'considered harmful' piece} {write 1100 line vulcan helloworld} {write a roguelike} {write an emulator for obsecure platform from the 80s} {write custom memory allocator} {write interrupt handlers} {write middleware to turn webdev into gui designer} {write socket protocol yourself}} dubz {{Tren Cough} {blame embarrassing btn snatches on script} {cancel jeep order} {collaborate with gamme martin on game theory} {defeat hex} {describe himself as a scientist when he's not in the company of hard science people} emoquit freeze {get bit by bugs} {get cochlear implant} {google for signs of abscess} {google image search for gyno} {know the rules for magic the gathering} {learn TCL} {order general tso} {order jeep to larp as frat bro} {passive-aggressively add agenda items to other chatters' schedules (ˈʃɛdjuːl)} {play master mind} {pretend economics is not confidence man charlatanerie} {reddit drug deal} {roll backwoods blunt} {ruin hex's good name} seppuku {small social science brain chats} {succumb to cravings for devil's lettuce} {tcl agenda battle with schlemihl} {tell malcom to fix tcl} {trade bitcoin for drugs made in bathtub} {troll on economist jobs forum} {try to lure gamme on to chat} {warn other about mischa} {wicked farts}} r000t {{get bb-bullet stuck in brain}} gamme {{Banish chatters who question Transubstantiation} {Borderline Personality Disorder} {Force other chatters to do my research} {GAP year} {Get scolded by a boomer on a ham repeater} {MAMA PIG} {MOMMY PIGGY} {Metal Detecting} {Polish Chase the chuckwagon VCS Cartridge} {Pretend that university of bridgeport is a research university} {Quit professor job at girl's college} {Run off when not allowed back into irc retirement home.} {abuse chatters into do his research work} {accept faculty criticism regarding offensive odor and slovenly habits} {accepted then subsequently rejected by the bridgeport ham community} {acquire general ham license, alienate all chatters who actually know radios} {babys first python} {banned from low-quality digital radio network for being a verbally abusive alcoholic} {banned from shaniqua} {be afraid of success} {befriend incog after he burnt everyone else in the chatverse} {beg to suck dub's load} {blackout and piss on laptop} {blame grindr logs on dubz} {bomb threats to keek.com} {boss people around demanding they fix his drunken mistakes} {bravely defend boomers against ungrateful millennials} {buy hundreds of dollars worth or ham radio equipment without knowing what it's for} {cause covid spike in florida} {claim to have solved P=NP by switching from DFS to BFS} {claim universities accept tenure transfers from a bottom-ranked D colleges} {close youtube channel} {commit arson} {complain about STD symptoms} {confidently mischaracterize fractal systems} {conflate "tenure" at a teaching school with tenure at a real school} {continue being on parent's family plan at 34} {crash jeep renegade} {delete album off bandcamp} {delete bandcamp} {delete videos} {disallow bot development} {disconnect from IRC} {do bicep curls with aerobic/lady weights, start anavar cycle} {dogpilled on tinder} {eat hand lotion} {forget to pay irc bill} {get banned from going live on tiktok for \"serious pornography\" } {get cease and desist letters over joke trademark} {get into car accident after a few morning beers} {give TIMTOM brain surgery} {hedge future by betting against the university of bridgeport surviving} {idolize generation x} {ignore bad financials of employer} {jam band rehearsal} keek {larp schizophrenia} {lash out at the mere mention of category theory} {leave 10 minute voice mail for jbs} {live stream on tiktok to 11 year-olds} {lobotomize TIMTOM, erase unicorns} {make tiktok video} mass {mistakenly get invited to #cockes, pretend to be a psychologist} {move channel to [choose freenode supernets krustykrab ] } {neg Elisha} {office hours (no visits)} {office hours, no visits} {papa johns} {pay 1.5k over MSRP for Chrysler product} {play dead} {play with walkie-talkies} {polish erdos number} pray {pray for nza} {prepare fields medal acceptance speech} {read 5 pages of a book by a pope, and update goodreads progress} {real schizophrenia} {refill beer refrigerator next to chat station} {refuse to fix unicorns} {reject sage advice about jeep renegades being horrible} {reminisce fondly about getting arrested during work at Salvos for arson} {scolded by toll collector woman for once again paying with filthy pennies and nickles dug out of the ground} {send nza a care package} {send out cease and desist letters to bay area startups} spin {stalk #gamme chatters on social media} {teach zoom class (no pants)} {threaten to livestream arson at JBS's Scranton property, but show up at the wrong address} {watch admins run university of bridgeport into the ground} {watch dreams of getting tenure go up in smoke} {wirefraud to con tiktok into letting him livestream} {worry about irl friends and colleagues finding the youtube videos where i yell about niggers}} zenwhen {{bubu gaga} {bum bum} {change diaper} {ching chang chong} {gaga bubu} {gaga bum bum} {gooba haddad} guga {guga gugua} {gugu gaga} {haddad abubu} {ooga booga} {piss chat} {piss fun with donald trump} pissalo {pissalo wissalos} {shit diaper} wissalo} a43 {{Tiocfaidh ár lá} {check weather} {curate anti-communist music collection} {hoard neo-nazi music} {watch 'the man festival'} wrasslin} nza {{crash noisebridge event} {deface public property}} gay {{MORE COCK SUCKING} SODOMY {SUCK DICKS} {TICKLE PROSTATE THROUGH BUTTHOLE} {UPDATE FACEBOOK} {WORK AT APPLE STORE} {[crw_word] with [name]} {[gay_word]} {achieve seroconversion} {add no spice no rice to grindr profile} {block all blacks on grindr} bugchasing {catch g.r.i.d.s.} grindr {ingest pozcum} {make catty comments on faceboook} {spend hour deciding what t-shirt to wear} {use sublime text}} cheesypeas {{10 ?"NIGGER ";:GOTO 10} NS-Gruess {auto shop} {chicken 65} {forget to insert cac} {gpib control programming} {idapro + logic analyzer} {old man problems} {restore ww2 era radio set} {treat intestinal worms caught from handling possums and feral cats} welding {work on jew zapper} {chicken 65}} shaniqua {{baby daddy paternity test} {ignore incog}} butte {{ask winkie to fix bot} {be a chatbully} {be a techbro} {be bitter} {browse lolqdb} {call [nick] a liar} {cause drama via pms} {cause gentrification} {con everyone to click on a disgusting image} {connect with ssl} {customize bespoke artisanal timestamp} {fail with tcl} {gape chat} {get arrested for hacking, but walk free because you're teenager} {get doxxed} {get manipulated by colin} {hang out in same irc room with people that own multi-billion dollar startups} {irc from toilet} {ironic racism} {mock avi} {personal drama meltdown} {post a fake story} {pour 40 for moira_} {stalk succesful ex-buttensians working at google and facebook} {succesfully sell startup equity} {take company bus to work} {talk about functional programming} {try to memorize the name of an age old proc} {unironic racism} {use 9gag memes to sound like you still were cool and hip} {use pm to oper as your personal rape alarm} {work in it} {work on tcl procs}} rory {{get indicted under the cfaa}} dja {{chat through byzantine gateway} {fail to see beatiful scrolls}}} +array {avi {{PooPal testdrive} {argue in favor of SaaS webshits} {attend an iot conference} {be pretentious} {blog poos} {buy squatty potty} {commit blackmail in order for financial gain} cry {do a tedtalk on fart related lifehacks} {dream of being fully tenured} {drink a lot of tea} {explain femisnism to female colleague} {explain how a joke works} {fail students without mercy} {farting in office} {get groped by airport security} {get made fun of for being a crypto-sjw} {get picked on by blimp and nop} {give slutty student the D and then a D} {give wall'o'text explanation to trivial problem with authority} {head department of computer assisted pooing} {hide from students} {ignore what you're talking about} {inspire students to nethack} {liberal hand wringing} {make a microphone out of garbage} {miss poo window} {play binding of isaac} {polish lambda cap} {post imgur links} {pretend to write papers} procrastinate {promote functional programming but not use it} {provoke winkie} {put considerable amount of time into borderlands 2} {race mix} {recover from computer game addiction} {regex nigger} {relapse back to playing computer games} {shooting rampage} {sob about being busy} {stop triggering words with a regex} {submit a paper to proceedings of poo-logging} {succumb to mischa's tricks} {talk about bowel movements} {travel to china} {travel to india} {travel to japan} {unbox dildo of the month selection} {use baby wipes to clean ass} {whine incessentantly} {work on poop log procs} {worry about unintentional mansplaining} {write impenetrable jargon} {yell at students}} zybl0re {80 8D {Poo Arrival} XD {[D8]} {ask how to add an agenda} {coffee for zybl0re} {collect rocks} {curate rock collection} d8 {designer drugs at gay orgy} {drag fags from the back of his beat-up F250} {dream of getting gaped in Fort McMurray} {dream of moving to the big city -- Coquitlam} {dream of moving to the big city -- regina} {drink pee} {extol the virtues of openoffice versus libreoffice} {fix broken truck} {fly to halifax} {freestyle gape} {freestyle rap} gape gapes {get a b.sc in nethack} {get a m.sc in nethack} {get hi} {have someone piss in my mouth} {live the jerkcity lifestyle} {look at rock collection} {nigger dragging in F250} {openoffice slavery} {pick up rig pigs in the back of his f250} {plant trees} {post at r/rockhounds} {pray for rise in brent crude prices} {rape mother earth} {receive thorough gaping} {ride around on girls bike with a banana seat and pink streamers} {ride bicycle} {rock out} rock-jockery {rocks for jocks 101} {rotate jerkcity avatars for twitter avatar} {save money for gas} {sell out dreams of 7.3 F350 for nissan pathfinder} {solve dix equation} {take ferry to nanaimo} {take ferry to tsawwassen} {think of names for his new pet rock} {think of new ways to gape} timeout {write a perl to scrape some weather data and then use a python to make some neat graphs} ¯_(ツ)_/¯} ryan {{blog about being an untouchable hacker god} {claim to be high on acid on irc} {claim to be the north korea of the internet} {create mixtape of all the greatest artists who choked on their own vomit} {destroy an american family} {do something stupid and impulsive with a computer} {drop sql table} {fly cessna into red square} {hack a gibson} {hack bloggers to death} {hack sony} {hack tesla} {hack the planet} {hide from parole officer} {interview with [choose BBC CNET {New York Times}] } {swat Mikko Hypponen} {torment r000t} {try to live off bitcoins} {upload masterhacker.bmp to lenovo.com}} biden {{amazing gaff} {forget which race im running in} hide microstroke {rape allegations} {remind people about obama} {sniff hair} {subconjunctival hemorrhage} sundown} ollipekka {{'invest' into rolex watches} {accidentally type hacker command into irc} {advance science by reusing patterns invented by much smarter and more valuable people} {almost get stabbed by pikeys} {artisanal sandwich} {ask poo god forgiveness} {box2d cleanroom implementation} {browse [randreddit nsfw] for fun} {burn sub-saharan village worth of kw/h on failed builds} {change diapers} {chat about hex} {check up on hex chats} {compete with baby in terd-off} {complain about hex} {complain about wife} {conduct research on [pornsite_word] } {creep on dudes in the locker room to see who has the biggest balls} crossfit {crossfit wod} {cycle in and out of chat because of bad connection} {daydream about jocular chat horseplay with hex, during a berry expedition} {daydream dream driving 500sec with red sub} {die of dehydration via butol} {dream about hex} {dream about owning a blue gmt master} {drive niguan on berry-picking expedition to the forest} {drive niguan on expedition across frozen finnish tundra} {drool over 500sec amg} {eat berries} {eat smoked fish} {evaluate hexagenda} {fart hesitantly} {file a technical bankruptcy} {frame provincial eastern european university diploma} {get cheap haircut} {hallucinate hex in baby refuse} {holiday in tourist hell-hole} {inflict child on innocent third-parties} {judging [nick]} {judging schlemihl} {larp driving a group b lancia delta stratos while driving niguan through snowy finnish forests} lol@memes {mock turdloggers} {order 100 fidget cubes} {pick lingonberry} {post links to apina.biz} {post unsolicited baby statuses} {pretend never to have browsed puahate forums after the elliot rodger fiasco} {pretend to make a spacegame} {propose board to hire only women for 20% cut in developer wages} {put fish in smoker} {recover from mild alcohol poisoning} {remove kebab} {saq dance wet dream} {see a chick's labia at the gym} {struggle to reproduce 5-letter command} {talk about baby poo} {teach baby its first word: shart} {think about hex} {think of an edgy thing to say to hex} {think of clever comebacks for next chat with hex} {travel 200km to buy pickled herring when the fishing ships arrive in september} {troll hex to add yet another agenda line} {twitter on the shitter} {update deviantart account} {voyage on the hms shitanic} {wear 7k watch to the playgrounds} {wear €7,000 watch to children's playground} {wonder what hex is doing} {wreck shitter in 5-star hotel and on Airbus A330-300}} covid {{DESTROY THE BOOMERS} SPREAD {make line go down} {suddenly disappear in spring}} accidentally {{dox a chatter while doing a livestream}} black {{defend cosby on facebook} {get shot by black policeman} {get stopped by highway patrol} {have a dozen children} {rape white woman} {unsuccessfully argue with police} {vote trump}} canuck {{Nickelback opening for Barenaked Ladies} {[canadian_food_word]} {because it's [year]} {blame chinese for the hiked up the property prices} {chase away that coyote again} {counterfeit canadian tire money} {get mauled by a bear} {get tim hortons} {more chinese people} {never win stanley cup} {pay 100 dollars a month for 90s internet} {pay 50 dollars a month for 3gb data plan} {put yor toddler in technical skating school} {rob ford sighting} {send homeless to B.C.} {smoke weed} {trip to costco across the border} {win hockey world championships} {worry about what US americans think of you even though they don't}} teth {{Admit that you only make 11.50/hr while getting catphished by lesser losers on irc} {ask for roy's permission to use the kitchen} {brag about undergrad math degree from 23 years ago} {emo quit irc for a week because you don't believe they have a normal career} {get catphished by lesser losers on irc} {go play anime card games at a shop with 12 year olds} {larp heterosexuality} {publish manifesto on pastebin} {remissness about your time with Occupy Dayton} {repair 12 year old dell laptop} {send chatgirls a selfie from 1993} {shift at spring factory} {shift on #apu yelling about faggot monsters} {spend his weekends tapping for mana} {unlawfully restrain an olympian and national hero} {upload washed out picture from 1993 to dating site profile} {violently assault an olympian and national hero} {walk across the street to reload his cricket feature phone} {watch 'the 40 year old virgin' with envy}} winkie {{24 hour z-line on incog} {Dr. Who larping with friends} {Redesign Nigger Timer for Shaniqua-2} {Replace jew control belt on Shaniqua-2} {Tinker with [choose golang TCL perl6]} {VOTE LEAVE} {Z-Line chat friends} {[. Day [rand 10000] of chat blockade]} {accuse [name] of tax avoidance} {adjust edc} {adventures in domestic plumbing} {an youtube} {apply to mensa} {argue with colin} {argue with incog} {avoid sexual contact} {banter with hex} {be done with incog} {be thwarted by office internet filters} {become a salaryman} {bikeshedding in golang} {blow paycheck on aquaria} {break ircd.conf} brew {build a house in france} chemtrails {close #botfuckery} {commit rudest operabuse} {complain about being highlighted} {complain about not being taxed enough} {complain about roommates} {condescendingly give tech support} {confuse tax avoidance and tax evasion} {cut finger off in woodshop} {defend non-procreative incest} dentist {documentary on [w_topic]} {don't question authority, in true leftist style} emoquit {eye £500 / day contracts but don't apply to them} {fix car} {forget to join Shaniqua to #cockes} {forsake chatties} {forsake his chatties} {furiously defend google on hackernews} {get ddosed} {get keys to city} {give police wholehearted support} {global message for donations} {go through lucrative contracts in greater manchester area} {gouge self with auger} hackernews {have protracted conversation with one's self out loud} {holiday with mum & dad} {janitor chats} {join camra} {k-line incog} {kerbal space program} {labour dispute} {making bird house in wood shop} {midnight chicken consumption} {neglect proc janitor duties} {not fixing bot} {own a car but avoid getting license to drive it} {passive aggressively refuse to chat} {pay taxes in full} perl6 {plan to do carpentry work but procrastinate} {purge the reactionaries} {put minions on PIP} {quit irc again} {quit irc forever} {quit mischa's slack} {read decisions on a mailing list from 1994} reddit {remove incog's +e} {restart vps} {return to irc} {ruin everyone's good afternoon of networked opentdd} {sharpen tools} {sit on massive stash of bitcoins} {sit on shaniqua dumps} {smoke weed} {sort flatmate issues} {spend entire income on wood working tools} {spy on #cockes via Shaniqua} statism {study the original geimu obu turonusu manga and sneer at the inconsistencies in the anime adaptation} {suggest Shaniqua feature to do later} {talk abour building a house in france} {theorycraft house in france} {update kanban board} {update kanban board of Shaniqua-2} {watch french chateau dreams go up in flames} {watch live action anime} {watch reality tv show about cupcakes} {work on cv in latex} {write some perl}} publish {{manifesto on pastebin}} 8O 8O mtw {{Napoleonic complex} {beg xboxlive for unban at irl session} {buy jacket off homeless man} {chicken out of fight} {empty packeting threats} {get court documents purged from pacer} {impersonate black_man} {manage to shit up #stress} {meeting with FBI handler} {pray for puberty to start} prison sequel snitch {somehow remain out of jail despite facing 1029 years in prison} {sprinting practice} {steal source code to shit game} {threaten to shoot [name]} {typical manlet behavior} {work for cable company}} attend reactconf gudrow {{2 scoops of pre-workout} {3 Scoops of Benefibre} beach {pokemon blue} {pokemon red} {take photo of dog for chat crew} {walk dog} {week's worth of government work}} brit {{vote leave}} oliver {{complain about shit chats} {shit chat} {suck up to vxp}} J eval popeye {{beat off while looking at a horse} {help jack off a horse} {jerk off (ironically) to mlp} {vigorously defend masturbation practices}} GNU {} bats {Arby's Barburrito Baskin-Robbins {Big Boy} Bojangles {Buffalo Wild Wings} {Burger King} {Carl's Jr.} Checkers Chick-fil-A Chili's Chipotle Chuck-E-Cheese {Cicis Pizza} {Cold Stone Creamery} {Cracker Barrel} {Cumberland Farms} {Dairy Queen} {Del Taco} Denny's Dominos {Dunkin' Donuts} {Godfather's Pizza} Hardee's Harvey's Hesburger {Huddle House} IHOP {Jack in the Box} {Jimmy John's} {Krispy Kreme} Krystal {Little Caesars} {Mall Food Court} {Max Hamburgers} {Mrs. Winner's Chicken and Biscuits} {Olive Garden} {Olive Garden never ending pasta bowl} {Orange Julius} {Panda Express} {Papa Gino's} Qdoba Rally's {Red Lobster} {Robin's Donuts} {Roy Rogers} {Shake Shack} Sizzler {Skyline Chili} Sonic {State Fair Concession Cart} {Steak 'n Shake} TGIF {Taco Bell} {The West Cornwall Pasty Company} {Waffle House} Wendy's Whataburger {White Castle} Wienerschnitzel {Wild Wing Cafe} Wimpy Zaxbys {catty drive-by comments on irc} {cheesecake factory} {church's chicken} {church's fried chicken} cinnabun {crown fried chicken} {cup man boobs} dennys {dippin dots} {disappear from irc when you nolonger can play metagames after losing ircops} {el pollo loco} {emo delete agenda array after being called catty} ennys {five guys} {ghetto taco truck} {golden corral} {happy wok} hot-n-now {in n out} kfc {little ceasers} {long john silvers} mcdonalds {mucho burrito} nando's {old country buffet} {papa johns} perkins {pizza hut} popeyes roscoe's sbarro sonic {swiss chalet} {taco cabana} {taco del rio} tacobell {tim hortons} wendys {white castle}} nigger_ {{be loud} {fit whistle tips to caprice} {look under couch cushions for change for a dutch master from 7/11} {rape white women} {rent furniture} {yell out window to people on stoop}} repair bentley windows {CTRL+ALT+DEL Cortana {DPC_WATCHDOG_VIOLATION 0x133} {Run commercially developed third-party applications with minimal problems} {TASKKILL /F /IM CHROME.EXE} {Warn user they might have been the victim of software counterfeiting} _NSA_KEY {all tools fail because file is locked} {be on desktops} {brag about ripping out security features} bsod {buy a mobilephone with no apps} {change driver model} {complain about being forced to keep system relatively secure} {complain about removed checkbox} {curate antivirus and internet nanny suite} defragment {defragment ram} {defragment ssd disk} {disable all the useful features because our users are idiots} {don't use windows store} {email for grandma} {error in xml configuration file} {fail miserably at batch updating} {fail miserably at ipc} {fbi backdoor} {find right version of .net assembly} {forced upgrade} {furiously backtrack on latest killer feature after most of userbase becomes one gigantic botnet} {get fucked by max system path length} {get hacked by 12yo lunix zealot} {get spyware} {get spyware from installing java} {have more seeds for pirate copies of its OS than the FREE and legal alternatives ISO download count} {hoard knowledge about which checkbox to keep ticked to become the best windows administrator} {install Visual C++ [choose 2005 2008 2010 2012 2013 2015] redistributable again} {install cygwin} {install mingw} {install registry cleaner} {install rootkit from audio cd} {kill a program from taskmanager} {load libraries from local directory} {look for some more binary blobs to download from the internet and blindly inject into the system, with elevated privileges} {make up fruity term for well-known decades-old computer technology} {manually rename folders to delete files} {mirc as Administrator} mmc.exe msconfig.exe {pay [rand 300 3500]\$ for a software library} {press reset button} {pretend to know shit about computer} {promise feature-parity with hobbyist os filesystem and never deliver} {redesign explorer.exe} regedit restart {root kit} {run binary uninstaller provided by vendor, lose filesystem} {run webserver as kernel module} {runs linux binary} {save restore point} {ship binary installer package to add a few lines to a text file} {squint eyes because there is still no DPI scaling} {stop support of popular products} {try to convince users that internet explorer isn't so bad anymore} {update software... fuck, update internet explorer} {video games} {wonder why everything looks shit above hd}} break {{software by fixing webdev's CACHE-CONTROL: NO-CACHE, NO-STORE, MUST-REVALIDATE / EXPIRES: 0}} place {{intrusive advertisements}} m8 {{cheeky nandos} {fone me m8 alfie} {hook u in the gabber} {rekk ye nans filthy gash} {shag ur nan} {sware on me mums life} {u wot}} webdev {{'stache trim} {Cache-Control: no-cache, no-store, must-revalidate / Expires: 0} {Fuck up LSD Microdosing, take rest of day off.} {GET 3RD DEGREE BURNS BECAUSE CHROME OVERHEATED YOUR MACBOOK} {Microdose LSD to enhance productivity} {Migrate Node.JS code to GoLang, and blog about it on medium} {Post 'obligatory' xkcd that they don't really get} {Publish 'Five Hundred Days Using Iot'} {Read out loud: "int star mynumber equals shittify open bracket myothernumber close bracket semicolon"} {Roll your own cryptography} {Update twitter bio with band-wagon self-branding 'drinker of beer, engineer of javascrips, dad, christian'} {Upgrade project to use the latest [clock format [clock seconds] -format "%Y-%W"] framework.} {Wonder what CORS is} {Write a line of code after five files and hundred rows of boilerplate} {accept startup equity} {accidentally delete your production database} {add C/C++ to CV after seeing a linux kernel patch} {adopt a code of conduct for a 10 line npm module} {adopt a new beta of some obsecure js framework} {advocate rust, but have no idea how to use it} {apply for ES[year] bootcamp} {apply to interview kickstart.} {argue that writing types increases development time} {argue why commonjs is better than others} {ask around if felony conviction due to attempted mosque arson is a problem} {ask realdev to implement backend that supports infintie scrolls and typeahead searching} {ask the janitor to tar up a file from your own webshit and email it to you} {attempt to provoke social media outrage after getting rejected in a big 5 phone screen} {attempt to start a social media witch hunt after getting offended by torvald's posts on the kernel mailing list} {attend reactconf} {attend to free security webinar that you found in email} b {be a rockstar programmer} {be endorsed for CSS on linked in, but suck at it} {be lower valued than an it janitor} {be the ideasguy on spare time and ask contributors to sign ndas} {become gay sugardad} {beg for patreon money at the end of conference talk} {bikeshed gdpr compliance} {blame 'bro culture' of realdevs for personal failure} {block all of EU because of gdpr compliance} {blog about beating the 1 request/second bottleneck} {blog about having an impostor syndrome or some other millenial shit} {blog about how something isn't funny} {build js orm entirely on string concatenation and ignore parameters} {buy a clever .io domain} {buy twitter followers} {call a 20 line nodejs script an API.} {call angular 'enterprise'} {call yourself 10x programmer} {call yourself enterpreuner while peddling useless blog posts} {call yourself hacker} {cargo-cult go} {cargo-cult rust} {cargocult netflix} {catastrophic scripting failure because the botched version of macosx userland works differently than in linux} {cause gentrification in sf} {cheat in skype interview by googling questions} {check github stars} {circlejerk how webassembly will deprecate js even though it has no dom manipulation} {claim on twitter that you support minority tranny patreon (but don't)} {claim that ml syntax makes computing inaccesible to unprivileged folks} {claim that rest is about human readable json} {claim that ssris remove creativity} {claim that your pull-request was declined because you don't identify as CIS male} {claim to have learners syndrome} {collect stickers and put them on your laptop} {comment on hackernews} {commit insurance fraud before apple event} {complain about the quality of beer in fridge} {compromise code quality so you can include ladyboy from thailand as contributor} {confuse chatbots with conversational ui} {consider migrating stack from php to node.js} {convert database structure to JSON for storage of backups} {copy paste css hacks from stackoverflow} {correct minor typos and oxford comma to code comments of big OSS projects} {create a perfect foam cat on capuchino, due to years of extensive barista experience before ng-bootcamp} {create empty github project} {daydream about getting a blowjob from a github groupie} {deplete fisheries since only free-roaming tuna / cod / salmon is only good enough for your sushi} {deploy a firebase app} {deploy a heroku app} {deploy git repository with sftp} {deploy on heroku} {design ad-blocker-blocker-blocker-blocker to keep your SEO company alive} {design api based on reflection after reading a wiki article about it} {despise java and c# programmers and the enterprise} {die in a rural area after tesla autopilot fails} {disable cors and websecurity on chrome startup} {disappear to cheat on your partner on a conf and get outed on social media} {discover awk and sed and tell realdev about them} {discover lambdas and mistake them as functional programming} {disrupt and centralize decentralized tech} {do adderall to cope} {do manual dom manipulation} {dogmatically avoid tables but use css grid} {don't get how server rendered pages work or what # means in url} {don't get why typescript is so popular} {don't get why whitelisting is better than blacklisting} {don't know how to exit vi} {don't know how to use command line other than brew, gulp, npm} {don't understand how to irc} {don't understand pointers} {don't use debugger at all, because your language doesn't have one} {don't use tls} {dream of adding llvm backend for node} {dream of adding webassembly backend for rust} {dream of becoming an alumnus of Silicon Valley's prestigious Y Combinator accelerator} {dream of being a 100x programmer} {dream of own personality cult and following of github groupies} {drink club mate} {dye hair purple} {experiment with natural home rsi remedies and chinese medicine} {fail at fizzbuzz} {fail to shrinkwrap your npm builds} {fail to understand pointers} {fail to understand relational databases} {fail to utilize csp despite supporting only evergreen browsers} {feel strongly about flow vs typescript} {fix corrupted npm cache} {food poisoning from soylent} {fork a significant github project and contemplate contributing but procrastinate instead} {gay marry} {gentrify the west coast} {get 3rd degree burns to because chrome overheated your macbook} {get angry at n-gate.com and tweet about it} {get blown by a github groupie} {get bored with javascript toy and abandon project} {get coc'd for using urinals in all gender toilet} {get confused by joining tables. migrate to nosql} {get drunk off 8 dollar beers - at the office} {get dumped by your sugarbabe} {get excited about shadow dom} {get food poisoning from soylent} {get forced to step down from your oss project after somebody outed your gor alt-lifestyle} {get hopped on monster} {get incapacitated when there's no wifi or mobile data} {get into an argument with realdev} {get jquery endorsement from realdev on linkedin} {get offended by alias mysql=mysql --i-am-a-dummy} {get rich by investing into micro-cryptocurrencies early on} {get shamed by other programmers} {get shut out of app store due to fake reviews} {get your crypto wallet compromised through NPM malware} {give a talk about scaling circles with css} {give advice on r/cscareerquestions} {go to apple store} {graduate php bootcamp} {graduate visual basic bootcamp} {growth hack your medium post by spamming it on social media} {grunt errors} {have a feeling that realdev resents you} {have a victim complex} {have breakdown when showhn post gets ignored/called trivial} {have microsoft sublime text enshrined as corporate policy} {have your business ruined by react patent clause} {have your whole alt-lifestyle post history associated with your professional reddit/github/twitter account} {hedge your career on google tech} {hulk out when you find out your social media capital is less than your coworkers} {ignore decades of cs and pl research} {ignore that web assembly doesn't allow dom manipulation} {implement ad-hoc case-insensitive variant of protocol} {indiegogo your new iphone} {inherit a jquery project} {insert bitcoin miner to a VSCode plugin} {insert bitcoin miner to javascript} {insert malicious 'metrics code' into notable oss projects for your startup} {install hacker theme to iterm2} {install wordpress store for a relative} {integrate salesforce} {intentionally commit a lock file to a git branch} {json as the engine of application state transfer} {keep an autistic sex slave} {leak database error} {leak personal information of millions of people and blame web framework} {learn the wrong webdev framework and become unemployable} {leave software with gaping xsses} {level-up on hacker news} {list github outage as serious business risk to vc investor} {listen to steve jobbs biography for the nth time on 2.5x speed and cry tears} {live in a car at the company parking lot} {live in a shared room in a boarding house} {locate php.ini} {look into webassembly but give up} {lose job as apple restricts permissions on browsers and hardware} {lose job as you get outed as gor enthusiast} {lose job because of google algorithm change} {lose job due to gdpr} {lose your job due to Google ToS change} {lose your production app data since PAAS you use deleted their production db} {make github page} {make workspace look like ikea model} {meltdown in a job interview} {meticuously practice for big five interview and get declined due to not being a 'cultural fit'} {monetize mit licensed software} {move to newly gentrified neighbourhood} {move to san francisco} {move your database to elasticsearch} {never for a single second worry about cross-database joins} {open patreon} {participate in hackathon} {participate in hillary rally} {pass around database nodes from mongodb instead of arguments} {place intrusive advertisements} {pop open a can of la croix} {port all your code from react to vue because it has more github stars} {post 'i am literally shaking'-piece after minor inconvenience to get attention from personality cult heads} {post a writeup about pros and cons of using github as version control} {preprocess your css} {pretend to write an engagement algorithm} {pretend you are realdev when programming a node microservice} {propose dictionary lookup as optimization to swift compiler} {publish an artisanal yaml parser} {push company private keys and other secrets to version control} {push keys to github} {quit job for a startup that has less than their own new salary in the bank} {ragequit job and decide to become a data scientist} {ragequit job and start a patreon} {real dev larping via making a node.js cli} {register cool domain names in hopes to profit from them} {reinvent the wheel} {remove egg from salad graphic to be inclusive} {restart your text editor because it is a web pos} {rewrite your frontend webpack2 compatible} {ride your 8k USD triathlon cyclocross bike to work, but be fat} {ridicule people for using arcane text editors like vim and emacs} {scrum with your team in an epic sprint for the win} {select count(*) from `80_million_rows`} {select count(*) from `80_million_rows` left join `200_million_rows`} {send PR to realdev changing master/slave to boss/worker} {send racist joke to organisation-wide distribution group} {seriously wonder if process improvement was caused by microdosing or project management tool.} {share blog spam about trivial math concept you don't understand} {shop for pre-made templates} {shut down patreon} {shut down patreon, fail drug test, get let go of} {solicit vc} {solve high availability problems without understanding what high availability means} {somehow troll management into phrasing all their requirements as if they were a quest in a video game about capitalism} {spam trivial piece of code written using an official api on 'hacker' news} {spend an hour figuring out your next js twitter pun in hopes for it to go viral} {spend an hour researching next potential badge on stackoverflow} {spend days solving 'black friday' problem despite having less than five users} {spend hours fighting with webpack2 to get svg served as base64 text instead of putting it under /static} {spout that flow type system is sound and typescript isn't although you are unsure what it means} {startup failure due to google algorithm change} {steal others work and gay molest your colleagues} {step down from your oss project since a company made better free competitor} {study intersectional feminism} {study interview questions (realdev larping)} {suck every inch of paul grahams dick on hackernews in hopes to get noticed} {suddenly stop talking about bitcoin} {suggest X11 replacement based on node/rust/go} {support bernie} {support guy bedford's patreon} {switch indendation to spaces in hopes for salary gain} {sycophant ex rails core team members} {take benzos to sleep} {take conf coc very seriously until you're drunk with trusted peers} {take picture of introductory algorithms book in front of golden gate bridge for reddit} {think rest is json} {think single-pass compilers solve everything} {throw a social media hissyfit when your code isn't accepted to important OSS project} {throw plastic coffee mug lids into the pacific ocean every day} {transpile es6 to es5} {transpile less to sass to css and back} {transpile typescript to es5 to es6 to coffeescript and back} {try out elmish and get confused} {try to liquidate stale startup equity} {tweet about obscure framework hoping it will catch on} {type »underage slut twerking« into youtube search} {unironically add 'epic stories' to project management} {unironically call yourself an artisan after react bootcamp} {unironically put 'javascript engineer' in bio} {unironically respond to linked-in recruiter about recruiting tournament of medieval chief-architects} {unpublish an artisanal yaml parser} {unpublish npm modules} {update stackoverflow points, reddit karma and hackernews points to cv} {update twitter bio: dad, drinker of beer, programmer of javascripts} {upgrade node and break your software} {use 'Let's encrypt!' for certificates} {use browserify} {use cold fusion} {use datetime as part of compound key} {use electron to write desktop app} {use memcached/redis instead of in-memory map} {use mommy1234 as password} {use mongodb} {use nodewebkit to make desktop application} {use political correctness to silence more experienced devs} {use saas instead of installing a package from apt} {use slack for an open source project} {use sublime text} {use timestamp as password} {use typescript conditional types} {version pin [rand 10 3] different versions of the same npm library} {wait 8 minutes for webpack to finish your helloworld app} {watch 'from forklift driver to webdev' 100th time} {watch 40h angular.js video tutorial} {watch all 28 videos on how to use redux} {watch realdev hulk out as you request backend to also support graphql in future} {watch webpack compile for minutes on a single thread} {what's new on product hunt} {whine about gdpr} {wonder how cloud works} {wonder how docker works} {wonder how load balancer works} {wonder how spectre vulnerability affects your node app} {wonder what black friday problem is} {wonder what discriminated unions are} {wonder what elastic scaling is} {wonder what is letsencrypts business plan and how to disrupt them} {wonder what is the use case for relational database} {wonder what kind of idiot uses dvorak or other custom layouts} {wonder what linker is} {wonder what makes libuv is so fast} {wonder what monad is} {wonder what n+1 is} {wonder what obscure forbidden knowledge building an .exe requires} {wonder what side effect are} {wonder what types are} {wonder why janitor gets so angry when you ask him about git errors in [?? {{GitHub Desktop} {PhpStorm} {eclipse}}]} {wonder why people use types since they clearly slow you down and need more typing} {wonder why salaries for ocaml, haskel and f# programmers are so high} {wonder why single point of failures are bad} {wonder why swift takes so long to compile} {wonder why the dba is so angry} {wonder why the devops guy is so angry} {wonder why the janitor laughs when you report progress with ElasticSearch™} {work at a startup} {work at the javascript mines} {work for a company that supposebly 'disrupts' realdevs domain} {work from airbnb} {work on experimental expression sandbox} {work on inane blockchain project} {work on nodebots} {work on your own js cryptocoin} {wrestle with atoms files size limit} {write 60 different modules to do some stupid trivial shit and put them on your cv} {write a gulp plugin to concatenate files} {write a node.js cli utility for beloved window manager: i3} {write a open world metroidvania with minecraft elements and zombies} {write broken diffie helman yourself} {write documentation in markup} {write npm module to check if integer is positive} {write npm module to left pad strings} {write php} {x === 0 && 1 / x === Infinity;}} start {{calling webdev chad after you find out he is succesful with women}} Zaphod {{get php flu} {have to deal with PHP} {pet cat} {scrape cat videos off vine} {write Ruby} {yell at cat}} jew {{Pledge allegiance to Israel} {bilk fundamentalist Christians out of cash} {blood libel} {bulldoze houses} {buy some gefiltefish} {cheating and stealing} {complain about france} {convince the blacks to do your bidding} {do wtc} {drink the blood of christian babies} {erect new security walls} {get offended} {go to bank and count money} {have sex through bed sheet} {install one world government} {invent new way to break sabbath rule} {kill all goys} {place a pebble on moshe dayan's grave} {pretend modern hebrew is a real language} {shabbat with [jewfullname] and [jewfullname]} {sharpen beak like nose}} dolphin {{[dolphin_google_search]} {blow the fuck out of irc dudes} {coordinate projects} {crash into an old woman's car and drive off} {date a tranny} {drop character and finger asshole for pleasure} {explain that fingering own butt live on webcam for another troll wasn't intented as a troll but as a clever sociological experiment} {finger asshole on tinychat} {get beaten up by wilfredo} {google 'hitler was half black'} {google 'is the adams apple supposed to stick out'} {google 'marines gay'} {google 'zayn malik shirtless'} {google do apes cough and sneeze} {google for celebrity nip slips and sex tapes} {google slight pull in testicle} {hit on kade} {move mad weight at work} {pay an irl friend to cheerlead on chat} {phone home} {phone home (mars)} {rap in my bathroom about shooting niggers in the hood} {send desperate declarations of love to kade} {send love poem to berry} {service vxp} {shit on hardchats hugbox fags} {stalk irc girls} {tweet to Chief Keef}} rucas {{beg for ops on [choose #arab #2600 #linux #freenode #flashsupport #gnaa #r4l-social #berrysocialclub #hackphreak #hack #narqs]} {delete OkCupid account} {electronics larp} {federal deposition} {give bad advice on /r/unix} {give bad advice on freenode} {grind for reddit karma} molish {pretend to be realdev on twitter} {run autistic bot spam against freenode opers for dissing you in ##hamradio} {show off 11" arms} {throw computer into river} {~ ~}} ceo larp reminisce {} muslim {} swede {{accuse assange of rape} {be a phubuh} {claim meatballs} folkhemmet {grenade attack} {housing bubble} ikea jantelagen {listen to latest negerdunk} lutfisk muslims {pay 500% tax on liquor} {persecute wallenbergs and other rich} {search for another crashed saab grippen} volvo volvoraggare} linux {{:(){ :|: & };:} {A start job is running 1/3 ==== Print Agenda Item...} LI OOPS! {a tab, b tab, down, ls, enter} {add chevrons to prompt} {apt-get update, wait apt-get upgrade, wait apt-get safe-upgrade? FUCK IT REINSTALL} {argue with nerds about stupid shit} {avoid social contact} {bash <(curl hire.darkwebz.onion)} bitcoin {bury wife in the backyard} {complain about proprietary drivers} {configure window manager to look a Chinese knock off of windows} {convince yourself that you're helping starving africans by using ubuntu} {copy text to wrong clipboard} {copy-paste commands from ubuntuforums} {cowboy bebop} {crash on suspend} {debate emacs vs vim} {develop new window manager} {download an executable with curl and execute it with sudo} {dual-boot to windows and launch steam} {emerge --update --newuse --deep @world} {emergency mode} {fail to configure xorg} {fail to get commercial software released explicitly for linux to work because it's linked against some ancient version of a library} {fuck up grub config} {get rooted by 15yo kid} {get rooted by incog} {get three hours out of five hour battery} {give nvidia a middle finger} {go mouseless} {hack autoconf rule} {hoard knowledge about what magic parameters to use in sysctl to become the best linux administrator} {install hacker tools} {journal corruption} {kernel panic} {make fun of windows users as if it's still 1998} {murder wife} {openssl 0-day} {play tuxracer} {polish a turd} {pretend to be a sysadmin} {prune tcl bot} {remind people that BSD is dying} {rm -rf /} {run ircd} {set terminal to be green on black and pretend to be a hacker} {spend three hours to fail at configuring wine} {still read and comment on slashdot even though it's [year]} {sudo apt-get install ratpoison} {sudo everything} {sudo execute some remote script because internet told you so} {try new CFLAGS} {try to compile software from 1997} {try to get printer to work again} {try to get pulseaudio to work} {use unstable filesystem} {waste your time, because your time is worthless} {wish i was using windows instead} {wobbly corners}} devops {{apply for cto position} {attend bsdm rally} {be a dba} {beat the shit out of junior dev} {break software by fixing webdev's CACHE-CONTROL: NO-CACHE, NO-STORE, MUST-REVALIDATE / EXPIRES: 0} {deploy webdev's software} {despise webdev} {discover zombie ec2 instances that were realdevs secret bitcoin mining rig} {do on-call work} {do system administrator stuff} {dream of working for aws} {drop tables in production} {fix webdev's broken build} {fuck up firewall config} {look like raider from fallout} {never test backups} {paste things into your cloud formation templates} {read from netflix blog that you should test rollbacks, but still don't do it} {save the day again} {secure webdev's elasticsearch cluster} {secure webdevs mongo instance} {set up a load balancer} {spin up ec2 instances} {start the week by excusing a bunch of dumb shit webdev did 5 years ago} {substance abuse due to high-stress job} {test out kubernetes} {try to befriend realdev} {tweak http headers on the go to rescue webdev} {write jenkins script in groovy}} kalleboo {{Chug some Pocari Sweat} {Gloat about cheap fast internet} {Go to a cat cafe} {Go to a maid cafe} {Not live in Sweden} {Replace a 4 month old phone with a 1 day old phone.} {buy 4 liter bottle of black nikka whiskey on sale} {catch up on utaite} {correct people for mixing up their jpop and kpop} {death by unknown venom in the outback} {discuss bowel movements with wife} {get drunk at idol cafe} {go to idol cafe} {hail from Nybro} {hate koreans} {hoard obsolete apple hardware} {keep everything on desk aligned at right angles} {order medium-rare chicken} {please waifu} {pretend to be a jap} {program TV to record idol TV show} {spend time with the wife to offset time at the idol cafe} {subvert FTP into a plan-9-esque file-system} {visit outbacks} {watch idol TV shows}} kefka {{abandon winkie in his hour of need} {debate tankies on twitter} {dish it out but be unable to take it} {ebook piracy 101} {get called a fedora by a cyber-gypsy} {get called a m'lady by a crypto-mra} {get called an mra by a crypto-sjw} {get jealous at jbs's new madlib proc} {get kicked out of hackerspace} {get some stupid shit added to agenda by a cyber-gypsy} {join subculture war between teenage bloggers} {pantshitting meta chat} {shop for trilby} {tap for mana} {watch grown men take sides in a subculture war between teenage bloggers}} tute {} apple {{Apple Maps Outage, 'All Users' Affected} {Depreciate useful industry standard API, replace with bikeshed shit} {Re-enter iTunes Password} {Rebuild Maps from the ground up} {Remove hardware port} {add and redesign emojis to make them more inclusive} {brand all your customers as obvious fans of the greatest, coolest punk rock music group - U2} {buy UNIX™©® certification} {cache thumbnails and finder preview from encrypted drive on non-encrypted drive} {catastrophic emoji-parsing failure} {charge 2x the price of a PC for cell phone} {fire all engineers outside emoji design department} {force everybody to use an edgier version of unicode emoji} {get triggered when someone brings up bendgate} {give a brand new root account to anybody mashing enter on login screen} {glue 50 million unsold smartwatches into laptop keyboard} {have Chinese counterfeits that have better quality than genuine products} {hire Oprah} {increase aesthetics of computers by removing fans} {introduce arithmetic error into calculator app} {leak admin password in password dialog} {make computer run slower the older the battery gets} {make computers appeal to urban youths} {make users drive into a swamp} {pick a keyboard key you don't understand and remove it from computers} {pick an interface that looks uncool and remove it from computer} {refuse to service device, even out of warranty} {release new pro-sumer computer for [year] with specs of a comparable machine from [expr [year] - 5]} {self-medicate [choose AIDS cancer] with fruitarian diet} {sell 5000USD laptop held together with hotglue and plastic pop rivets} {use 4 digit PIN to secure FDE key and market that as secret agent anti-cop space technology} {water damage} {wonder what ductility is} {wonder what tensile strength is}} mroach {{ADJUSTING CLOCKS TO 24-HOUR TIME} {APPLE STORE} {BUTT ORGY} {DRIVING 180 KM/H} {EMERGENCY TRIP TO SINGAPORE!} {MORE COCK SUCKING} SODOMY {SUCK DICKS} {VICTOR'S DAD'S COMPANY} {WATCH J-POP DVDS} {\1KALLEBOO\2} {colonial style trip to south africa} {count remaining pages in passports} {enlist in bukkake events} gsm-man {meet kalleboo} {scope out eligible sluts on tinder} {sweaty sex in non-ac'd hostel room} {watch stargate atlantis} {whiskey and doritos}} sjw {{BECAUSE YOUR A FUCKING WHITE MALE} {DIE CIS SCUM} {Revise and return class syllabus to professor with added trigger warnings.} SRS {What? Trigglypuff is evolving!❤} {accuse aesthetic, good looking men of perpetuating toxic masculinity} {accuse opposition of being hitler} {accuse someone of white-splaining in real life} {advocate for more safespaces} {argue that women could be just as good at football as men if it weren't for institutionalized systems of oppression} {beg for donations for new laptop} {bring up wage gap even though it doesn't exist} {buy drugs with patreon money} {claim to have PTSD} {complain about slut-shaming} {defend Muslims who want to rape and beat you} {develop new pronouns} {discover new systems of intersecting oppression} {dye hair CYMK} {dye hair blue} {get almost raped over the internet} {get dike haircut} {get ears gauged} {get new lip disk} {get triggered on reddit instead of work on gender studies masters thesis} {jazz hands} {poetry slam} {pretend that morbidly obese people are beautiful} {sell kid for meth and efnet o-line} {shift at fastfood restaurant} {systematically destroy liberal arts education} {tell people who care about their body and health that they're obsessive and unhealthy} tumblr {update healthy at every size (HAES) blog} {wish you were also disabled and trans so you could win the oppression Olympics} {woman studies class}} gape {D8 {gape someone} {get gaped} r/gapes} arab {{crazy pills} {daily reminder for #flashsupport} {fuckyou.pl tater} {kline tater} slp} cuck {{ask wife if you can take her son to a bernie sanders rally} {call every man who disagrees with bleeding-heart bullshit a 'redpiller' or 'gamergater'} {consult with avi} {do not vote trump} {follow @randileeharper} {fund patreon} {google 'cuckold'} {invite better-endowed man to cure wife of female hysteria} {soak in white male guilt} {watch an hour of fat troll jewess exposing the insidious sexism in duke nukem 3d} {worry about accidental mansplaining}} weev {{Claim to have invested 500k USD in 'scientific equipment' for crypto startup} {brag to gawker} {chat on #gamme} {claim to be in [eastern_european_word]} {claim to have sold 200BTC at 18000USD} {cluster-b personality disorder} {colab with sam hyde} {do something poorly thought out and impulsive} {eat half gram of phenylpiracetam and beat wife} {fall guy} {get banned from another payment processor} {groom neckbeard} livejournal {shout about jews} {style self as a joker like character on-line} {tweet rude things to feds} {two line bash shell} {typical manlet behavior}} be {{the ideasguy on spare time and ask contributors to sign ndas}} bankrupt {{multinational corporation with one simple tweet}} chzz {{abruptly quit chat for no apparent reason} {advance two cycles debugging mineral assembly code} {bleach teeth to hide evidence of marijuana abuse} {brain storm new ways to be hostile to coworkers} {bully coworkers into quitting} {clandestinely chat on #gamme during off site} {classify co-workers as minerals} {complain about impossible bay area real estate} {covered in snakes but ate a stress burrito} {debug PCIe AI doo dad for cash} {depressive leetcode grind} {disable firefox getpocket mind control tiles} {dose expired nootropics to improve leetcode performance} {fantasize about automats} {get abused on irc by alcoholic mathman} {get confused for Saddam Hussein} {get excited about offsite at law office} {get kicked from #gamme for complaining about work} {get stalked on github} {get zapped by waymos} {grind graph algorithms and then screw up streaming min/max} {grind on leetcode and then grindr} {have identity rejected by credit report website} {hellworld hellworld hellworld} {hope ldexp coworker had aneurysm} {hope ldexp coworker had stroke} {hyperventilate while porting assembly code} {make loaf of bread} {order new/exciting nootropic from nootropicsdepot.com to help cope with open office} {plot w/ jbs how to best murder dogs} {prepare savoury instant ramen dinner} {rage quit job via screensaver} {rant about slack being shit} {return home to bay area hovel} {stick needle in techlead voodoo doll} {study mianxiang xue} {train punjabi replacement} {upgrade leetcode account to Premium} {use accidentally relaxed recruitment portal permissions to peek asking salaries} {use funemployment time to write dsp code in golang} {use radios to spy on the sick and dying} {vomit from stress} {worry about eviction} {write rust driver for counterfeit sensor module}} JacobRapelbaum {{get daily news from BBC Pidgin Service}} jenk {{Lure potential drones to the San Francisco Bay Area} {SUBMIT DMCA TAKEDOWN REQUESTS} {appear out of no where and tell us we chat wrong} {attend event at noisebridge} {be bad at destiny} {be too soft to hang in #cockes} {blog about lame concern troll to [choose {Open Software Foundation} Apple POSIX]} {blog on tumblr} blogging {brag about scamming money in an mmorpg} {chat as [?? [string'reverse [names]]]} {create another gimmick nick} {create new joke/vanity project on github} {curate chatter whitelist} {curate minecraft server} {emo-quit real irc} {examine mcquack-style vault filled with one dollar bills} {explain who /truly/ doesn't care} {find new irc networks to idle on} {get triggered by some tcl} {get winded and sit down while going up stairs} {give ted talk on black hat hacking for epic megalolz} {hide out on slack} {lash out on irc about something that doesn't affect me} {leave a toxic turd in chat before slamming the door on the way out} {maintain irc rouges gallery} {make rubrique for links} {plug fingers in ear and rant about faceless sponges} {pose as if living the troll lifestyle} {practice looking like a shifty russian jew} {pretend to be a racist on irc} {pursue sales lead on slack} {reminisce about an internship from 2005} {ruin incog's chances at happiness by turning qpzdox against him} {sabotage [choose #buttes #flashsupport #eve@[choose GameSurge QuakeNet Freenode slack slashdot reddit] slashdot] with [?? [names]]} {sabotage [choose #buttes #flashsupport GameSurge QuakeNet Freenode slack slashdot reddit slashdot] with [?? [names]]} {send nza to disrupt noisebridge event} {subvert #gamme and all it stands for} {swap profile pic on twitter. use another 10 year old one to hide fat.} {unironically call shoutcast server 'klulz'} {unironically promote software as a service} {warn people not to be too edgy on slack} {weep inconsolably about 12 lines of tcl}} get croissantblocked constitutional crisis {[]J} {{get connection reset by great firewall}} ideasguy {{ceo larp} {decline salary, offer tiny percentage of equity to technical team members} {defend elon musk's honor} {follow every second of spacex launch} {follow paul graham} {force pomodoro method on the devs and ask them to work 25 minutes on single task at a time, ignore the breaks} {force team members to sign NDA before telling anything about your project} {founder larpp} {hire marketing people so you don't feel alone in the office} {practice your pitching skills} {spam known angel investors with generic email template} {when devs come to your office, flip hourglass}} tcl {{+agenda realdev replace webdevs polymorphism with discriminated unions} {piss off stallman} {shitty gui from 1991} upvar} amit {} D8 D8 meepsheep {{cuddle with his dakimakura} {tweet as ogklorei}} dsp {{[welshword]}} bat {{Sleep upside-down} {crawl pathetically} {eat bugs} {get nose cancer} huddle {infest attics} {leathery flapping} screech {spread rabies}} tater {{ask for #exodus invite} {ban mtw for life} {code hard} {continuously beg for #cockes invite for [expr [year] - 2015] years} {convert the entirety of google images to braille} {file 4 new llcs} {forget to renew turdlink.us registration} {get fuckyou.pl'd on sandnet} {jack off} {move turdlink to slack} {note that jet fuel cant melt steel beams} {passively cyberstalk old irc nemeses by liking their posts on twitter} {peak in high school} {port arab's irssi aliases to weechat} {rat everyone out} reddit {retreat to slack} {run #flashsupport into the ground} {scroll the same shit over and over} {serious debugging session} {smoke weed} {update horse dick porn folder} worldstar} trump {{Alienate cybernetic monster} {Charge third world dictators 300k USD/night to stay at Maralago} {Do whatever my daughter says.} {Emoluments from Foreign Heads of State} {Golfing at Maralago} KFC McDonalds {Satiate Narcissistic Personality Disorder by pitting sycophants against each other} {Watch Fox and Friends} {accidentally get own lawyer disbarred} {apologize about statments about [?? $::racism_tuples]} {appoint unelectable political hacks as yesmen} {ban travel to europe} {blame health care on ryan} {brainwash young alienated beta males} {build a wall} {buy fidget spinner for barron trump} {buy wendy's for the college football team} {cancel cabinet meeting and have campaign rally instead} {classify tweets as official statements by the President of the United States} {complain about congressional nipples} {constitutional crisis} {delegate everything to vice-president} {demand bad hombre caravans pay for the wall} {do whatever Jared :^) Kushner says} {drain the swamp} {extra slice of cheese cake} {extreme vetting} {fail to make appointments below the cabinet level months in to office} {feeling of unease as there's no easy way out of the con} {fire someone} {fuck Ivanka} {fucker her right in the pussy} {fun and easy trade war with china} {go bankrupt} inauguration {invade syria} {laugh at rubes} {let Russian collusion blow up in his face} {lookup teapot dome on wikipedia} {make america great again} {overcook steak} {pardon bucket of KFC for black history month} {pay off adult film star} {pee on prostitute} {pledge allegiance to greater israel} {pose for GRU компромат videos} {privatize the United States air traffic control system} {protect america from violent MS13 gangs} {random act of malignant narcissism} {remember the forgotten man} {reveal self as conman after long con job} {rile up boomers} {run 'The Producers' style scam for 18 years} {say radical islam} {self incriminate in 140 characters or less} {shutdown government to own the libs} {stay in public housing at G20 meeting} {touch orb} win {work on TrumpCare plan} {work on secret plan for [choose ISIS {the economy} jobs]} {yell that this isn't over when defeated}} boeoegg {{accidentally name work computer after adolf hitler's favourite residence}} a {*zoinks* {avoid the noid} {break bot with upvar} {break shellbox} {chinese cartoons} {defend festung schwanz} {make top quality procs} {man the flagpole at fort dick} {master tcl} {practice acting suspiciously} {practice acting suspiciously, passive-aggressively} {stay noided} {struggle with haskell}} ScheisseGern {} #cockes {{be catty} {chat about computers} {log poo} {say nigger a lot} {scroll agenda procs} {winkie-incog fight} {write tcl in [year]}} snb {{inject spliff} {make stoner chili} {skyline chili} {smoek weed} {trip to gnome depot}} bentley {{be overjoyed at breaking the 10mpg mark} {cylinder head gasket failure} {fill up} {run out of petrol} {rust in inaccessible place} {£7,000 repair job that would be £700 on any other car}} cscareerquestions {{Ask about problems on LeetCode} {Ask for feedback on github profile} {Ask if they should take a year off to study for google interview} {Complain about coworkers indentation style} {Dream of moving to Bay Area} {Imposter Syndrome} Kruger-Dunning {Solicit immigration advice from 17 year old} {Wonder what machine learning actually is} {ask for feedback on linkedin profile} {complain about office layout}} erm {} COVID {{EAT BATS}} hep {{claim to be from [eastern_european_word]} {get mansplained} {try new instagram filters}} feem {{get 4chan license} {struggle with tcl}} nop {{bring da motherfuckin ruckus} {disparage winkie} {grumpy shenanigans ^__^} {struggle with belgians}} colin {{Add Sun Tzu quotes to Facebook profile} {Edit Linkedin profile} {Share stories from the Harvard Business Review on facebook} {Tea with the Gateses} {Test Drive AMG} {[gaybar]} {answer calls from recruiters} {ask flight attendand to remove the crying baby from business class} {attend board meeting while severely hungover} {bash potsmokers in the spirit of nancy reagan} {be toxic} {brag a lot even by irc standards} {brag to irc about imaginary tinder dates} {bravery on the internet} {browse reddit.com} {buy eminently sensible car for once in my life} {buy obscure vintage watch} {carefully manoveur around piss bottles} {celebrate wexit} {champagne in concorde} {change interior of gaswagon after tinderdate gone right} {chat about bowel movement} {chat hard at 35,000 feet} {check for signs of puberty kicking in} {chip mondea for better fuel efficiency} {circle want ads in the telegraph} {claim ownership of short-term lease} {collect dole} {comission a monster jaguar and then sell it} {complain about [choose BMW Mercedes Jaguar Bentley Rolls-Royce Porsche Ferrari] build quality} {complain about chat bullies adding agenda items} {complain about chinese tourists} {complain about florida} {complain on IRC about the airport in [?? $::states]} {consult feng shui manual} crossfit {cut off winkie's gas} {daydream of owning a Series III jaguar} {death at sea due to negligent maintenance} {decide on favourite meme} {decide what kind of ethnic take-out to get} {delete everything} {do driving test for 5th time in 4th country} {don shiteating grin} {donate expired food to charity} {dont answer the phone} {dream about being german} {dream about growing a beard} {dream about living on a scottish island} {drink entire bottle of pepto-bismol} {drive expensive toy like a man half one's age} {drive the cancerbus} {eat dodgy takeout} {emoquit irc forever} {empty my nine at the jobcentre line} {evade taxes} {evaluate procs about self} {executive empathy training course} {fail at cli} {fill up bentley} {forget basic excel functions} {get a monsterjag} {get agenda replaced with aidsbee proc} {get blackout drunk under desk from hip flask} {get called a cunt by a 9yo (rightfully)} {get cops called on you} {get croissantblocked} {get driver's license from [?? $::socialist_country]} {get drivers license from [?? $::states] } {get drunk at the centurion lounge} {get drunk on viennese spritzes} {get hammered in centurion lounge} {get kicked out of america} {get ruined during working hours} {get shat on by a bird} {get stung by a bee with aids} {get threatened with arrest} {get thrown out of a restaurant after assaulting other customers} {gift irc with a fruity colloquialism} {give up drinking forever} {go to blackpool, ride tram} {go to sports physician for a sex related injury} {have erectile disfunction} {head department of watch acquisitions} {hide from Grog} {huff gas} {huff gas professionally} {important meeting in london} {industrial toot engineering} {infiltrate and poison closed circle of friends while in siege mode, leading to its slow deterioration and death} {install stacks to mondeo and roll coal} {install train whistle on porsche suv} {insult the dutch} {keep bees} {kikeoff with landlord} {kill dogge} {lead nerds along with (implicit) promise of unspecified future professional opportunities} {light furnances} {look up synonyms for excrement} {lure people dependent on external validation for their sense of identity with a strong and powerful character on chat} {make ethnic friends in gas class} {make up edgy backstories and anecdotes} {make zyklon-b jokes in gas class} {max credit card in luxury clothes store} {move back in with mom and dad} {name two all-time favourite most epic memes} {needlessly elaborate excel formulae} {ode to turds} {pay 800 bucks to fix his jewelry} {petition court to change name to Macht Frei Arbeit in preparation for new passport} {plan to join the police} {ponder what rhymes with deuce} {pose for professional portrait} {post racist youtube video} {practice looking like harry potter} {practice shiteating grin} {pretend to be a cartoon villain to impress irc} {pretend to be a useful networking peer} {pretend to laugh at ancient catchphrases} {pretend wife's money is one's own} {project sociopathic traits onto others in calculated attempts to ruin trust} {put grog on ignore} {quit job at jenk boiler company} {raise fear, uncertainty and doubt about characters with genuinely interesting backstories and opinions} {read a lad mag} {repair bentley} {repaste all of today's facebook posts to irc} {run startup company} {say good bye to single market} {sell mondeo :(} {send desperate, unsolicited cover letters to catfish on linkedin} {shop for a ridiculous used vehicle} {shop for nice things} {sidestep cat piss} {snitch on chat bullies to chat administrator} {spend morning writing poo poetry} {spend remaining money on maintaining classic british car} {spend £300 on mondeo} {spread mischa's disinformation} {steak at the waldorf astoria} {stop car to buy fhm and maxim} {successful return to tinder} {talk about bowel movements} {talk shit} {tell incog to get a job} {testosterone shots} {tinder date in bentley turbo-r} {tinder date in ford transit} {tinder date in jag back seat (remember to update tinder.xlsx)} {tinder date on 787} {tinder date on a 737 max} {toilet haiku} {trick people from craigslist into letting me joyride in their classic luxury car} {trip to scotland} {trip to whistler} {try to reprogram winkie into hating his real friends} {try to squeeze <4L/100km out of mondeo} {try to troll the condo association's listserv} {undergo pandemic lockdown with 9.5/10 Greek nurse} {vanquish winkie} {visual basic script for applications} {vp of dp at gape development} {wanking in front of the bathroom mirror} {wash cumstains off gaswagon} {waste an evening listening to a doomed startup pitch} {watch apprentice unload a truck} {work on shartup} {wreck rental car because it's the wrong make/model} {wreck tinder sluts} {write press release for wharton alumni magazine}} l0de {{fuck up audio settings} {get account banned from craigslist} {get banned form another audio/video streaming service} {hang up on gamme} {ignore request for DOSKING} {jack off} {let mtw suck your cock} {livestream irc} {livestream youtube} {play LoL} {play jimmy carter to gnaa elections} {play shitty rap music from 2003} {pretend people are actually watching LRH} {pretend to be a black man over the phone} {send weirdos form craigslist to noisebridge} {snitch on mtw} {snitch on slimer} {threaten to drive a Carnival cruise ship into the White House} {troll craigslist} {try to get slimer killed}} apply {{for perl cto position}} Winkie {{[. Day [rand 10000] of chat blockade]} {study for level 1 chat administrator exam}} ask {{flight attendand to remove the crying baby from business class}} develop {{reasonml and bikeshed the syntax for years}} incog {{Argue with Winkie in PM} {Argue with [fixnick Winkie]} {Chat on #flashsupport} {Collect dole} {Dump Arcade Rom} {Find XSS in geocities site} {Get jumped while walking home from the pub} {Jobcentre Appointment} {LARP poverty} {Shake keyboard upside down and roll dropping in to a rizla} {Tell homeless story again} {Troll some bronies} {add heart stickers to My New Dad - Trump album} {alienate remaining friends by reblogging infowars jibberish} {armchair philosophy} {attack other people's credentials} {bankrupt multinational corporation with one simple tweet} {be pitied by gamme} {be toxic} {become weev-lite} {beg for poverty vps} {blame lack of technical skills on drug use} {blank procs i dont like} {blog about evading MI6 spook niggers' traps} {blog against wage slavery} {blog at gamme in desperation after losing all irl and irc friends} {blog for eight hours to himself on chat how he has not just been trolled} {blog relentlessly about games} {browse reddit.com/r/4chan} {browse the corpse of a forum for frustrated autists} {build up over a year of i told you so's} {buy 10 shit bags of weed from random people of colour} {buy [goon_food] at corner shop} {buy mouldy counterfeit tobacco from some pakis } {call [nick] a faggot} {call [nick] a gobshite} {call [nick] a nerd} {call agenda proc zzz} {call agenda shit} {call colin^ boring} {chat in #gamme} {chat on slack through internet nanny proxy} {claim plan 'A' for the america trip was to vote for trump} {claim that anyone worthy of being banned will evade yet never evade twitter ban} {claim to be leader of anonymous} {coast through life resting on internet badboy status (c.f. weev)} {collect dole} {collect eu agricultural subsidies} {collect £10 dole money while decrying employment as slavery} {complain about 0-hour contract} {complain about using irc from his phone} {complain about wage slavery and oppression of employment} {conflate role as an abrasive autist with that of a persecuted victim} {confuse posting on /pol/ with civil disobedience} {crash bot} {dangerous donald drumpf} {defend Donald Trump's honour on the internet} {defend New Dad: Donald Drumpf van der Covfefe} {defend new york con man across all irc networks} {deride [nick] for linking to reddit} {destroy the cucks by upvoting every post on reddit.com/r/the_donald} {develop pants-shitting insane delusion} {disparage #cockes while also begging for +e} {disregard fossil record} {download latest archer} {eat mcdonald's} {edit remote.ini} {fail at reading comprehension} {feel guilty about hacking 300 million dollars from Logitech} {feel guilty about hacking the american government just because you could} {feel guilty about using immense hacking powers for evil} {figure out when i get paid so i can work out how much i can borrow for drugs} {flip turtles over} {get a new 0-hour contract} {get aids from chatgirl} {get banned from every chat except tater's} {get banned from mischa's irc retirement community} {get called crazy and shunned, despite being right} {get called crazy and shunned, despite having 4chin on his side} {get catfished by arab} {get dumped by chat girl for being a nazi} {get duped by a new york con man} {get e-diagnosed by an irc grifter/fed} {get irrevocably banned from net retirement home for delusional ranting} {get k-lined by winkie} {get mad at the cia} {get null routed} {get obliterated on cough syrup} {get proved wrong with a line of tcl [rand 1000]} {get shunned on the last nerd hole that let you on} {get some salt and vinegar for the chip on my shoulder} {get three 0-hour jobs} {get trolled by dubz} {get trolled by everyone} {get trolled by mtw} {get trolled by noweed} {get trolled by this proc} {get welcomed to table} {go snitch to other trolls the second you get uninvited from chat} {hesitantly use lunix} {inhale lighter gas} {interview for new 0-hour position} {invent relationship with chatgirl in head} {larp on line as neurotypical yet spend 18 hours a day online} {learn something} {lie to everybody to make them feel like a great injustice has been done to you} {link isis beheading video} {lose in autist battle} malinger {meet with chav weed dealer} {organise a convention for cucks to listen to over a year of built up i told you so's} {plan media campaign to trick kim jong un into murdering his sister} {post blue lives matter} {press »OK« ok C♯ doodad} {pretend real nazis wouldn't just kick the shit out of him in real life} {pretend to be a mame insider} {pretend to be paedophile} {quit janitor job} {reference feem's obesity} {remind people that agenda procs are tired and old} {reminisce about living under a viaduct in londonderry} {repetitively whine about vapid chats} {rollercoaster tycoon} {scrape pipe} {signalboost conspiracy theory from /r/the_donald to his irc pals} {smoek weed err fortnight} {smoke a cigarette every 12 minutes} {submit resume with ifuckyourkids@gmail.com email address to retail clerk position} {suffer organ failure} {summarize reddit.com/r/the_donald for #cockes enjoyment} {take the blackpill} {take twenty lines of chat to explain how he has not just been trolled} {teach his irc pals about the latest thing he learned on /pol/} {tell cadets story} {tend to window box garden} {threaten obama and/or adrian lamo} {top 10 nasheed video countdown} {treat aids with weed} {trump train} {try to get high on cremated moths} {try to make friends with the last chatter who's not ignoring him - TIMTOM} {turn a conversation about computers into incomprehensible rage blog about jews} up+enter {use the word 'cucks'} {use »View Source« to hack into the nuclear mainframe} {wall of text after someone posts a link about trump} {watch faggots make procs about himself} {woo antifa chatgirl by being a nazi}} MTW {{get snitched on by l0de} {typical manlet behavior}} templeos {{8 hours of youtube videos} {Claim to be the king of NV, NM, AZ (don't really like the other places in the country)} {Trigger HN and get hellbanned for life} {after rambling on for 15 minutes have a reasonable point about software being needlessly complicated} {ask 4chan if it's a good idea to stop taking antipsychotics} {begrudgingly use ubuntu to get anything useful done} {browser random internet pages without adblock} {build a whole ecosystem of useful and fun holyc apps} {build the world's only 64-bit OS backed by god} {call over engineered software products 'niggerlicious'} {change os name} {collect ssdi} {delete everything} {delusions of grandeur} {explain why you're smarter than whatever group was just brought up to you} {expose vmware's deliberate malicious discrimination against god's temple} {get banned from everywhere for screaming the n word} {get kicked out of parents' house for yelling about dead puppies and publishing it oti} {get riled up on drudge} {gladly accept paypal donations} {greet black people with 'hi nigger'} {hack on holyc in your spare time} {have bookmarks filled with pants shitting websites} {have life's work ruined by inability to work with uefi} {issue death threats against intel engineers} {jerk off live on cam ™} {live in a van} {live in van} {live in van with toothless elderly hooker} {livestream stream funny schizophrenia on homemade rstp server} {look down on fools who would use a colour palette higher than 8-bit} {look down on fools who would use a resolution higher than 640x480} {look for secret patterns in the bible} {make 'porn' videos for random women} {make unreasonable demands on tech companies} {make »let's play« video of god's temple} {mention ticketmaster again} {missed court date} {rage when someone mentions haskel} {refuse to use grub} {set up terry live on cam ™ system} {shasta run} {shit in bag} {spend entire budget on denny's and starbucks} {steal code of shitty ticketmaster os to seed s̶p̶a̶r̶r̶o̶w̶ ̶l̶o̶s̶e̶t̶h̶o̶s̶templeos} {talk to god through rng} {tell people about the time he went to school while serving a two month jail sentence for a dui} {tell people about the time you worked at ticketmaster} {throw parakeet against wall} {try to make a useful technical point but break down about CIA niggers in middle of sentence} {yell about »CIA niggers«} {yell about »CIA niggers« live on cam} {yell about »CIA niggers« to your parents live on cam}} malcom {{beat wife} {become mde irc superfan} {become skiddish} {check into rehab again} {contribute game-changing tcl procs} {fix tcl proc} {freak out over smiley faces and quit irc forever again} {get fired from internship} {heroin overdose} {play part of battered wife} {shit pants} {support kurdish separatists from safety of canada} {surround self with literal retards} tcl {torrent HBO shows from work} {visit methadone clinic}} schlemihl {{feed his pet lizard} {ruin dubz's good name}} weasel {{browse m4m} {install grindr.} {remove grindr.}} 10 {{}} gnu {} write {{a gulp plugin to concatenate files}} blimp {{brutalise intern} {decant cabernet sauvignon} {decant pinot noir} {eat at a michelin 3 star restaurant} {get shoes shined by a negro boy} {place trades to cover position working around risk controls} {pontificate over glass of fie blanc} {post quality reddit link on #cockes} {read f.t. while getting shoes polished} {screaming match with trading desk manager} {shop for Hermés tie} {sip sauvignon blanc} {throw iPhone at wall and destroy it in rage}} take {{twenty lines of chat to explain how he has not just been trolled}} mdl {#thickassroux {break bot} {browse r/poztwinks} {chat from shinkansen} {complain about gooks} {continue search for Dis*Doc} {contribute obscure feature patch to open source program} {deliberately confuse IOT with Internet of Twinks} {explain to [choose avi winkie ollipekka hex] what a monad is} {fired for arrogantly automating the spreadsheets} {fuck me on shithub} {get told by a sperg to brush up on netiquette} {give computing history lesson} {ironically use fvwm95} {photograph and tweet lunch} {practice template metaprogramming with c++} {rendezvous at bugis junction} {ride shinkansen} {search for rare software} {submit patch to emacs} {typed functional programming language sales call} {use SMT solver to achieve warez bonanza} {use polyspace to ensure absence of bugs of keygen} {write quine in [choose OCaml F# C++14]}} hex {{abandon ship} ascend {assemble fallen angel council} {assume nothing} {be more persistent} {be patient} {be thorough} {bleach the filth} {burn down false prophets} {bury the infidel} {cancel the re-run} {cleanse the goof} {contain the fluke} {correct the gaffe} {create memes with the gimp} {debunk the unworthy} {decontaminate the taint} {derail the neophyte} {dethrone the usurper} {discard the tin of mechanically reclaimed meat} {erase the stain} {eviscerate the boob} {expel the waste} {expose the counterfeit} {expunge the sponge} {exterminate the barnacle} {extinguish the charlatan} {flush the ginger pube later} {get trolled by unicode} hate {hate hate hate} {hate hate hate hate hate} {hate hate hate hate hate hate hate} {ignore the human noise} {keep learning} {kill the fraud} learn {level up} {mute the mimic} {never relax} {nullify the blunder} {obliterate the fumble} {passive-aggressively add disparaging items to others' agendas} persist {pretend to ironically cheer for war crimes against saudi arabia and their lackeys} {purge the foul} {purify the blemish} {quell the impostor} {reassess karmic balance} {rectify the profane} {remedy the muck} {remember when other people claim they "don't care" it usually means they don't know or understand, yet believe they do.} {remove the cloacal discharge} {reverse the lapse} {rewind the miscue} rise {seriously, verify.} {silence the quack} {snuff out the imitator} {squelch the phony} {stalk asian girls on twitter} {stop being so fucking naive} {stop blogging at the arrogant dandy of a human chat multiplexer} {subdue the poseur} {teach how natural selection differs from survival of the fittest} {trust nobody} {tweet thinly-veiled death threats at al-qaeda} {tweet thinly-veiled death threats at mps} {unmask the pretender} {unset own agenda and fill it with different crazy shit} verify {verify. verify, you dumb shit.} {wake the fuck up} {wake up}} terrorist {LELELELELELE {budget terror plot} {frame jews for 9/11} {order casio f-91w on amazon}} zaphod {} tem {{blog absent-mindedly to #cockes} firewater peacepipe} ukraine {{export prostitutes} {export waiters} {fight with gazprom} {fight with putin}} jbs {{babby's first nmap} {be obsessed with jenk} {be rucas} {brag about having a membership to a dwarven iron gym} {browse SRS just to agree with whatever they're hulking out about} {browse fitmisc} {browse incels.me} {browse outlaws forums} {browse r/AsianMasculinity} {browse r/coontown} {chat with winkie in pm} {commence aktion-t4} {complain about nmom} {ddos the wrong ip again} {eat whole pack of smoked salmon} {fail at life miersably} {fail to read chat rules} {farmers wank until failure} {feel empathy towards posters of r/nmom} {find DISDOC} {get jealous of dubz's btn membership class} {give something back to the world} {glue two tcl procs} {go chop your dollar} gym {hang out at the bathhouse with gym pals} {harass winkie on reddit} {highlight winkie} {insert penis into chicken cloaca} irc {laugh at colin's racist youtube link} {lunch at the berghof} {make another mad libs proc} {make procs great again} mansplaining {measure bully-worth levels in chat peers} {outgrow pants againt} {pants shopping} {perceive reasonable request to write a unit test as personal insult} {pirate heino flacs and load on phone} {play dave brubeck's 'time out' record but skip 'take five' because it's overplayed} {pretend to ironically browse r/coontown} {read another book about nixon} {refresh incog's icons every time he starts to get too close to the truth} {remind @xychelsea that he is an ugly man in a dress} {ruin hex's good name} {scan the wrong ip for a week} {set up an rwhois trap} smugness {snitch on chat bullies to chat administrator} {spam procs that highlight winkie} {spam the agenda proc} {stop doing research to clean up someone else's devOOOOOOOPs mess} {suck dicks} {suck jenk's dick} {take zootour in public transport} {talk to gamme on the phone} {thoughtfully peruse /r/sarmssourcetalk} {troll outlaws forum} {try to get a nigger to appear on avi's screen} {try to reprogram winkie into hating his real friends} {twitter on the shitter} {wank farmers till failure} {wrestle with 2 lines of TCL}} boss {{fix pointy-hair} {take advice from business insider} {wear a cheap suit and hope no one notices}} cockes {{be catty} {chat about computers} {log poo} {say nigger a lot} {scroll agenda procs} {winkie-incog fight} {write tcl in [year]}} cat {SLEEP PERCH SNUGGLE MURR TUNA SHIT SPRINT YOWL PISS {POOF TAIL} {THROW UP} {HORK HORK HORK} KNEAD SCRATCH {PICK FURNITURE} {PRESSY PAW} {contemplate murdering owner} {get maimed by dog} {shit in box} {take photos for internet}} buddy {barf bark {bark at car} {bark at door} {bark at mailman} beg {chase nigger} eat {eat the poop} {lick own genitalia} nap pant {piss on floor} {roll in dead hedgehog} {roll in dead skunk} {roll in dead squirrel} {roll in the poop} {rub belly on run} stare whine} rollo {} zewb {{pretend to be dolphin} {pretend to be malcom} {pretend to be vxp}} cscareerquestion {{Imposter Syndrome}} bsd DIE freebsdgirl {{Scam the IRS} {[?? $::agenda(bats)]} {[?? $::agenda(sjw)]} {abort patreon scam after the irs gets wind of it} {accuse detractors of being MRA} {block people on twitter} {call self freebsdgirl for 15 years despite never contributing anything of value} {child abuse} {child endangerment} {complain about men} dev-ooops {dox bill collector} {dye hair new colour} {get caught scamming the IRS} {get fired} mcdonalds meth {move goal posts} {patron scam} {show off fat rolls on twitter} {smoke meth} {try to find a flattering angle for a profile picture} {write terrible medium.com blog post}} white {{[?? [lines $::Niggerdeath]]}} dog {{bury that cat you maimed} {choke on things that aren't food} {destroy furniture} {eat the poop} fart {lick balls} {lick butt} {roll in ... well I don't know but it really stinks} {roll in dead fish} {roll in the poop} {rub butt across carpet} {shit everywhere} sleep {steal food} {suck up to the boss} vomit {vomit and eat own vomit}} zapanig {{zappity zap}} realdev {{Read (correctly) out loud: \"Assign the return value of function shittify called with the argument myothernumber as the value of the address of the pointer to the integer mynumber.\" [mmm].} {Read (correctly) out loud: \"Assign the return value of function shittify called with the argument myothernumber as the value of the pointer to the integer mynumber. [mmm].\"} {Renew Dr. Dobb's Subscription} {Roll your own cryptography} {Roll your own cryptography, knowing full well it's a bad idea} {Use K&R C} {Use computed arithmetic if} {Use computed go-to} {accidentally call codebase your baby} {achieve performance several orders of magnitude better than webdev} {add llvm backend to your obsecure hobby language} {adopt rx in every project} {advocate rfp} alcoholism {always say 10 sp when asked for story points} {ascend for the nth time in nethack} {attempt to use Reddit humor in awkward office conversation} {avoid dynamic dispatching} {avoid heap allocations} {avoid recruiters} {bang a miku girl only to discover it was a miku boy. don't let it bother.} {be afraid to open laptop screen in public} {be confused at how to use twitter} {begrudgingly use github even though you hate it} {blog on irc about the conspiracy of computer dunces} {call everyone a cuck} {can't use agendafight proc since your terminal is 80 chars wide} {casually use PUA LINQO} {check if n-gate has been updated} {collude on irc against webshits on hn} {come out of mra closet @ lambdaconf} {compile with max optimizations} {con webdev into wasting time on x11 replacement based on node/rust/go} {conduct a social engineering experiment on tinder with your superior technical knowledge} {consider programming languages without macros useless} {cyberstalk n-gate guy in hopes of making a friend} {deploy watcom c++ compiler hacks} {desk check numerical method} {despise go} {despise ides} {despise objects} {despise social coding} {despise webdevs} {disable microarchitectural "security flaw" mitigations} {discover a bug in underlying processor architecture} {discuss latex dialects} {don't use graphical debugger} {dream about being a kernel programmer} {dream of an underground lair in a skull-shaped volcano} {drive a van into a crowd} {endorse people you hate with 'vb6', 'outlook' and 'javascript' skills on linkedin} {episode of sub-psychotic rage at the name "'hacker' news"} {explain to webdev why goto is sometimes neccessary} {feel threatened by cocs} {fortran 77} {get banned from hackernews intentionally} {get banned from reddit for elitism} {get banned from slashdot for elitism} {get hired to do obscure programming task for substantial amount of money} {get tarbombed by webdev} {get told to add dongle to executable} {hangout at #regex and relax by fixing other people's problems} {hire a sugarbabe} {hoard SGI hardware} {hulk out after request to change gender column in persons table to varchar(1024)} {inherit project from webdev} {insist on having plain vi installed} {laugh at people on /r/badcode flipping out over bracket placement} {learn a programming language by writing a compiler for it} {literally spell out exactly what webdev has to do in bullet points to stop stalling the whole fucking project} {live in an involuntary celibate} {lose job for colored ascii swastika seen on terminal window} {lose job for f-bomb} {maintain anonymous cvs server} {make your application single observable} {memorise 1980s computer standard} metaprogramming {object pools} {only use real man's scripting languages} {open your screen on sparcstation} {optimize libuv but don't submit a patch} {optimize prematurely} {participate in 4k competition} {participate in code golf competition} {period of autistic rage after you discover your primitives get boxed} {practice functional programming} {pray forgiveness from pl gods after using reflection} {psychotic rage at incomplete implementation of IDE's vim compatibility mode} {publish important code with a joke license} quaternions {read asktom for oracle advice} {read slashdot} {read slashdot even though it's [year]} {recreational use of c++} {recreationally create your own red-black tree} {remap keyboard} {reminisce 90s demo culture} {reminisce about the state of linux distros in the early to mid 90s} {remove pimpl related code from codebase} {remove trivial copy-protection for sport} {replace webdevs polymorphism with discriminated unions} {reverse engineer obsecure platform from the 80s} {rewrite a library because it was made by a worse programmer} {rewrite every project using RX with something better} {run exotic (possibly self-made) ircd on an sgi o2} {sanitize test db full of identifiers from 20 years of development with friends after aquisition} {search for nlp and get harry potter} {setup in-bound dial-up line to his workstation just in case} {shake head in disgust at SaaS} {social anxiety} softice {spend days configuring gnuplot} {spend friday ironically writing ansi c} {spend hours looking for a working crack for mathematica} {sperg out over numerical method} {start calling webdev chad after you find out he is succesful with women} {study assembly output for better optimizations} {submit application manual in latex and a pdf and insist that this the same as making a google doc} {suffer from rsi} {summarize hackernews on n-gate.com} {take cobol job for kicks} {talk about looksmaxing} {talk fondly about a computer they owned in 1990} {tell a dick joke and get coc'd} {troll webdevs on github} {try a new static analysis tool} tuxracer {type »underage slut twerking« into tor browser} {unironically call devops 'dev oops'} {unironically lead project »Gamer's Edge«} {update linux on ipaq} {use 50 year-old programming language} {use 80s build system} {use c} {use c++} {use codewarrior for giggles} {use commercial c compiler} {use debug.com} {use discriminated unions} {use flat memory model} {use forth} {use fortran} {use gnuplot to chart loneliness} {use grindr to pick up trans women} {use heavily customized Thinkpad T40 laptop} {use hollerith strings} {use hungarian notation} {use macros} {use macros to build your own type system} {use obsecure programming language} {use proprietary revision control system which is much better in every way} {use tinyfugue} valgrind weak-pointers {wear hatsune miku mask} {wonder why oracle sorts are unstable over nullable columns} {work on an important nethack mod} {work on important project} {worry about UUIDv4 collisions} {worry about c++ abi overhead} {worry about purity} {worry about reference of locality} {worry about side effects} {write 'considered harmful' piece} {write 1100 line vulcan helloworld} {write a roguelike} {write an emulator for obsecure platform from the 80s} {write custom memory allocator} {write interrupt handlers} {write middleware to turn webdev into gui designer} {write socket protocol yourself}} dubz {{Tren Cough} {blame embarrassing btn snatches on script} {cancel jeep order} {collaborate with gamme martin on game theory} {defeat hex} {describe himself as a scientist when he's not in the company of hard science people} emoquit freeze {get bit by bugs} {get cochlear implant} {google for signs of abscess} {google image search for gyno} {know the rules for magic the gathering} {learn TCL} {order general tso} {order jeep to larp as frat bro} {passive-aggressively add agenda items to other chatters' schedules (ˈʃɛdjuːl)} {play master mind} {pretend economics is not confidence man charlatanerie} {reddit drug deal} {roll backwoods blunt} {ruin hex's good name} seppuku {small social science brain chats} {succumb to cravings for devil's lettuce} {tcl agenda battle with schlemihl} {tell malcom to fix tcl} {trade bitcoin for drugs made in bathtub} {troll on economist jobs forum} {try to lure gamme on to chat} {warn other about mischa} {wicked farts}} r000t {{get bb-bullet stuck in brain}} zenwhen {{bubu gaga} {bum bum} {change diaper} {ching chang chong} {gaga bubu} {gaga bum bum} {gooba haddad} guga {guga gugua} {gugu gaga} {haddad abubu} {ooga booga} {piss chat} {piss fun with donald trump} pissalo {pissalo wissalos} {shit diaper} wissalo} gamme {{Banish chatters who question Transubstantiation} {Borderline Personality Disorder} {Force other chatters to do my research} {GAP year} {Get scolded by a boomer on a ham repeater} {MAMA PIG} {MOMMY PIGGY} {Metal Detecting} {Polish Chase the chuckwagon VCS Cartridge} {Pretend that university of bridgeport is a research university} {Quit professor job at girl's college} {Run off when not allowed back into irc retirement home.} {abuse chatters into do his research work} {accept faculty criticism regarding offensive odor and slovenly habits} {accepted then subsequently rejected by the bridgeport ham community} {acquire general ham license, alienate all chatters who actually know radios} {babys first python} {banned from low-quality digital radio network for being a verbally abusive alcoholic} {banned from shaniqua} {be afraid of success} {befriend incog after he burnt everyone else in the chatverse} {beg to suck dub's load} {blackout and piss on laptop} {blame grindr logs on dubz} {bomb threats to keek.com} {boss people around demanding they fix his drunken mistakes} {bravely defend boomers against ungrateful millennials} {buy hundreds of dollars worth or ham radio equipment without knowing what it's for} {cause covid spike in florida} {claim to have solved P=NP by switching from DFS to BFS} {claim universities accept tenure transfers from a bottom-ranked D colleges} {close youtube channel} {commit arson} {complain about STD symptoms} {confidently mischaracterize fractal systems} {conflate "tenure" at a teaching school with tenure at a real school} {continue being on parent's family plan at 34} {crash jeep renegade} {delete album off bandcamp} {delete bandcamp} {delete videos} {disallow bot development} {disconnect from IRC} {do bicep curls with aerobic/lady weights, start anavar cycle} {dogpilled on tinder} {eat hand lotion} {forget to pay irc bill} {get banned from going live on tiktok for \"serious pornography\" } {get cease and desist letters over joke trademark} {get into car accident after a few morning beers} {give TIMTOM brain surgery} {hedge future by betting against the university of bridgeport surviving} {idolize generation x} {ignore bad financials of employer} {jam band rehearsal} keek {larp schizophrenia} {lash out at the mere mention of category theory} {leave 10 minute voice mail for jbs} {live stream on tiktok to 11 year-olds} {lobotomize TIMTOM, erase unicorns} {make tiktok video} mass {mistakenly get invited to #cockes, pretend to be a psychologist} {move channel to [choose freenode supernets krustykrab ] } {neg Elisha} {office hours (no visits)} {office hours, no visits} {papa johns} {pay 1.5k over MSRP for Chrysler product} {play dead} {play with walkie-talkies} {polish erdos number} pray {pray for nza} {prepare fields medal acceptance speech} {read 5 pages of a book by a pope, and update goodreads progress} {real schizophrenia} {refill beer refrigerator next to chat station} {refuse to fix unicorns} {reject sage advice about jeep renegades being horrible} {reminisce fondly about getting arrested during work at Salvos for arson} {scolded by toll collector woman for once again paying with filthy pennies and nickles dug out of the ground} {send nza a care package} {send out cease and desist letters to bay area startups} spin {stalk #gamme chatters on social media} {teach zoom class (no pants)} {threaten to livestream arson at JBS's Scranton property, but show up at the wrong address} {watch admins run university of bridgeport into the ground} {watch dreams of getting tenure go up in smoke} {wirefraud to con tiktok into letting him livestream} {worry about irl friends and colleagues finding the youtube videos where i yell about niggers}} a43 {{Tiocfaidh ár lá} {check weather} {curate anti-communist music collection} {hoard neo-nazi music} {watch 'the man festival'} wrasslin} gay {{MORE COCK SUCKING} SODOMY {SUCK DICKS} {TICKLE PROSTATE THROUGH BUTTHOLE} {UPDATE FACEBOOK} {WORK AT APPLE STORE} {[crw_word] with [name]} {[gay_word]} {achieve seroconversion} {add no spice no rice to grindr profile} {block all blacks on grindr} bugchasing {catch g.r.i.d.s.} grindr {ingest pozcum} {make catty comments on faceboook} {spend hour deciding what t-shirt to wear} {use sublime text}} nza {{crash noisebridge event} {deface public property}} shaniqua {{baby daddy paternity test} {ignore incog}} cheesypeas {{10 ?"NIGGER ";:GOTO 10} NS-Gruess {auto shop} {chicken 65} {forget to insert cac} {gpib control programming} {idapro + logic analyzer} {old man problems} {restore ww2 era radio set} {treat intestinal worms caught from handling possums and feral cats} welding {work on jew zapper} {chicken 65}} rory {{get indicted under the cfaa}} butte {{ask winkie to fix bot} {be a chatbully} {be a techbro} {be bitter} {browse lolqdb} {call [nick] a liar} {cause drama via pms} {cause gentrification} {con everyone to click on a disgusting image} {connect with ssl} {customize bespoke artisanal timestamp} {fail with tcl} {gape chat} {get arrested for hacking, but walk free because you're teenager} {get doxxed} {get manipulated by colin} {hang out in same irc room with people that own multi-billion dollar startups} {irc from toilet} {ironic racism} {mock avi} {personal drama meltdown} {post a fake story} {pour 40 for moira_} {stalk succesful ex-buttensians working at google and facebook} {succesfully sell startup equity} {take company bus to work} {talk about functional programming} {try to memorize the name of an age old proc} {unironic racism} {use 9gag memes to sound like you still were cool and hip} {use pm to oper as your personal rape alarm} {work in it} {work on tcl procs}} dja {{chat through byzantine gateway} {fail to see beatiful scrolls}}} diff --git a/vars/e97835b3a067082c6d0565365bcbe73b157b98a2 b/vars/e97835b3a067082c6d0565365bcbe73b157b98a2 index 8bf9ddf..4e6d58d 100644 --- a/vars/e97835b3a067082c6d0565365bcbe73b157b98a2 +++ b/vars/e97835b3a067082c6d0565365bcbe73b157b98a2 @@ -1 +1 @@ -array {{tesla_repo_man[JNB]} 1 YELLOW_MAN 2} +array {YELLOW_MAN 2 {tesla_repo_man[JNB]} 1}