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scalar \{What\ an\ evasive\ answer.\ \ I\ want\ to\ know\ if\ you\ have\ been\ the\ parent\ of\ a\ \nchild\ who\ has\ been\ terminally\ or\ chronically\ ill.\ \ That\ is\ a\ yes\ or\ no\ \nanswer.\ \ What\ is\ subjective\ about\ that?\ \ Do\ you\ have\ kids\ or\ not?\ \ Did\ you\ \nhave\ sick\ siblings\ as\ a\ child\ or\ not?\ \ If\ you\ answer\ with\ \"I've\ pretty\ much\ \nbeen....\"\ then\ you\ are\ a\ coward\ and\ a\ pretentious\ idiot-fuck.\ \ Answer\ the\ \nfucking\ question.\ \ I\ find\ your\ answer\ pretty\ condescending\ to\ the\ Robbins's\ \nsituation,\ and\ it\ really\ struck\ me\ raw.\ \ If\ you\ can't\ empathize,\ you\ can't.\ \ \nJust\ \ say\ that\ it\ sounds\ terrible.\ \ Don't\ say\ that\ you\ have\ \"a\ pretty\ good\ \nidea\"\ and\ that\ it\ is\ \"subjective.\"\ \ Would\ you\ tell\ J.\ that\ you\ know\ how\ it\ \nis?\n\nYou\ didn't\ reflect\ at\ all\ with\ sympathy\;\ you\ directed\ the\ attention\ back\ to\ \nyourself.\ \ I'm\ just\ curious\ if\ you\ are\ pathological\ or\ if\ you\ have\ a\ story.\n%\nThat's\ why\ when\ I\ was\ wrestling\ half\ my\ training\ regimen\ was\ spent\ \nstrengthening\ my\ sphincter\ muscles.\ One\ of\ the\ better\ excercises\ was\ \nsticking\ a\ roll\ of\ quarters\ up\ my\ ass,\ then\ I\ would\ slowly\ and\ deliberately\ \npush\ it\ back\ out.\ I\ got\ so\ good\ at\ this\ the\ guys\ would\ hand\ me\ a\ dollar\ \nafter\ practice,\ asking\ for\ change\ for\ the\ soda\ machine.\ The\ first\ time\ this\ \nwas\ meant\ to\ be\ a\ joke\ but\ when\ my\ muscles\ became\ so\ refined\ that\ I\ could\ \ngive\ the\ change\ to\ them\ one\ quarter\ at\ a\ time,\ the\ joke\ was\ on\ them.\n\nThe\ end\ result\ was\ that\ I\ became\ strong\ enough\ to\ lock-in\ my\ opponents\ \nfinger(s)\ when\ he\ tried\ to\ check\ my\ oil,\ thereby\ incapacitating\ half\ of\ his\ \nmobility\ and\ strength.\ I\ can't\ tell\ you\ how\ many\ reversal\ points\ I\ scored\ \noff\ this,\ but\ it\ was\ worth\ at\ least\ two\ every\ match.\n%\nI\ was\ at\ the\ mall\ today\ buying\ some\ yugioh\ cards\ (tryin'\ to\ complete\ my\ CDIP\ \nset)\ &\ this\ kid\ standing\ next\ to\ me\ in\ line\ at\ the\ game\ shop\ says\ \"Man,\ that\ \nyugiHO\ s**t\ is\ homo,\ you\ shouldn't\ be\ wasting\ your\ faggot\ cash\ on\ some\ lame\ \nfucking\ s**t\ crap\ like\ that.\ Fuckin'\ cocksucker.\"\ I\ turned\ around,\ saw\ no\ \none,\ then\ peered\ down\ at\ a\ child\ who\ looked\ about\ 10\ years\ old\ holding\ many\ \npacks\ of\ Pokemon\ Unseen\ Forces.\n\nI\ then\ got\ into\ a\ debate\ (for\ what\ seemed\ like\ 30\ minutes\ or\ so)\ on\ the\ \nsuperiority\ of\ Yugioh\ to\ poke'mon.\ And\ at\ the\ end\ he\ just\ called\ me\ a\ \"fag\"\ \nand\ proceeded\ to\ punch\ my\ in\ the\ stomach.\ I\ finally\ crawled\ on\ my\ bruised\ \nstomach\ to\ a\ nearby\ mall\ cop,\ and\ pointed\ to\ that\ snot\ nosed\ brat,\ last\ I\ \nsaw\ of\ him\ he\ was\ on\ the\ mall\ cops\ shoulder\ cying\ for\ his\ mother.\ Ha...kids..\n%\ni'm\ sick\ and\ tired\ of\ people\ thinking\ being\ ugly\ is\ just\ \"how\ god\ made\ \nyou\"!!!\ Here's\ two\ prime\ examples\ of\ how\ this\ statement\ is\ false,\ please\ \nfeel\ free\ to\ add\ yer\ own.\ :P\n\nHow\ one\ gets\ fat:\n\n\ \ \ \ eating\ WAY\ too\ fucking\ much\n\n\[or\]\n\n\ \ \ \ they\ are\ genetically\ HUGE\ \[lol\ only\ in\ very\ few\ cases\]\n\n>>Conclusion:\ lol,\ fat=no\ self\ control\ to\ stop\ fucking\ eating\;\ no\ self\ \ncontrol=not\ very\ attractive\;\ fat=not\ pretty.\n\nHow\ one\ gets\ acne:\n\n\ \ \ \ oily\ icky\ gross\ dirty\ skin\ that\ isn't\ washed\ and\ has\ dead\ skin\ \nclogging\ pores\n\n\[or\]\n\n\ \ \ \ genetically\ gross\ \[lol,\ in\ some\ cases,\ yet\ they\ can\ be\ 'fixed'\ so\ \nit's\ still\ no\ excuse\]\n\n>>>Conclusion:\ lol,\ wash\ yur\ fucking\ face!\ acne=no\ self\ responsibity\ to\ wash\ \nyur\ fucking\ face!\;\ no\ responsibility=lol\ not\ very\ attractive\;\ acne=not\ pretty\nTHUS,\ /end\ rant,\ but\ yes,\ people\ who\ don't\ have\ the\ self\ control\ to\ be\ at\ a\ \nreasonable\ weight\ are\ icky\ icky\ gross,\ and\ dirty\ people\ ho\ don't\ wash,\ lol\ \new,\ yea,\ gross.\n%\nAnime\ isn't\ just\ a\ bunch\ of\ cheap\ American\ ripoffs\ of\ cartoons,\ it's\ art.\ \nNext\ time\ you\ American\ sheeple\ are\ watching\ your\ simpsons\ or\ south\ park\ or\ \nwhatever\ mindless\ American\ cartoons\ that\ have\ plots,\ storylines\ and\ comedy,\ \nI'll\ be\ Admiring\ the\ wonderful\ and\ superior\ art\ of\ Chinese\ cartoons.\n%\noh\ and\ to\ people\ who\ are\ worried\ about\ games\ looking\ childish\ its\ usually\ a\ \ngood\ indication\ that\ your\ a\ just\ a\ kid\ who\ thinks\ he's\ grown\ up\ cause\ he\ can\ \nshoot\ hookers\ in\ GTA\n%\nThere\ is\ very\ little\ of\ value\ in\ blogging.\ \ There\ are\ some\ real\ journalists\ \nwho\ have\ an\ online\ newsletter,\ and\ real\ writers\ who\ post\ articles\ \nindependently\ --\ that\ they\ happen\ to\ be\ classified\ as\ blogs\ flatters\ the\ \nsycophantic\ self-indulgent\ blogosphere\ at\ large.\ \ Imagine\ if\ you\ serialized\ \nyour\ blog\ and\ emailed\ all\ your\ friends\ with\ it\ every\ time\ you\ updated\ it?\ \ \nIf\ they\ wouldn't\ welcome\ such\ a\ diary,\ don't\ bother\ with\ your\ blog.\ \ The\ \npeople\ who\ care\ are\ the\ people\ no\ one\ cares\ about.\n%\nThe\ problem\ is\ all\ bloggers\ have\ a\ following\ --\ other\ bloggers.\ \ Should\ we\ \nallow\ every\ member\ of\ NAMBLA\ his\ own\ page\ on\ Wikipedia\ because\ he\ has\ a\ few\ \ndozen\ acquaintances\ at\ NAMBLA?\ \ No.\ \ Nearly\ all\ bloggers\ who\ are\ nothing\ but\ \nshould\ be\ eliminated\ from\ Wikipedia.\ \ Published\ journalists\ and\ legitimate\ \nauthors\ who\ happened\ to\ be\ classified\ as\ \"bloggers\"\ are\ welcome,\ of\ course.\n%\nI'm\ not\ trying\ to\ brag\ or\ anything,\ but\ yeah,\ I\ smoke\ weed.\ I\ don't\ give\ a\ \ndamn\ what\ anyone\ says\ regarding\ marijuana\ laws.\ Go\ ahead,\ trace\ my\ ip.\ Tell\ \nthe\ cops\ where\ I\ live,\ I\ should\ be\ able\ to\ put\ whatever\ i\ want\ in\ my\ body,\ \nmay\ it\ be\ marijuana,\ a\ 10\ year\ olds\ childs\ semi\ erect\ penis,\ or\ cocaine.\ The\ \ngovernment\ doesn't\ have\ any\ right\ telling\ us\ what\ is\ \"ok\"\ to\ consume.\n%\nI\ asked\ my\ friend\ for\ a\ sip\ of\ his\ pepsi\ and\ he\ gave\ me\ the\ can.\ Afterward\ \nhe\ accused\ me\ of\ 'nigger\ lipping'\ his\ pepsi\ and\ refused\ to\ take\ it\ back.\ In\ \na\ rage,\ I\ filed\ a\ hate\ crime\ report\ with\ the\ NYPD\ and\ had\ his\ racist\ ass\ \nhauled\ off\ to\ juvee\ where\ I'm\ sure\ disgusting\ faggots\ are\ anally\ violating\ \nhim\ even\ as\ I\ type\ these\ words.\ I\ abhor\ bigots.\n%\nOh\ great\ another\ holiday\ for\ christians\ to\ force\ their\ believes\ on\ me.\ \nChristmas\ is\ just\ another\ day\ for\ us\ atheists,\ i'll\ be\ listening\ to\ atheist\ \nradio\ and\ maybe\ watch\ a\ little\ tv.\ I'll\ let\ the\ brainwashed\ Christians\ have\ \n\"cheer\ and\ good\ fun\".\n%\nOnce,\ when\ i\ was\ changing\ my\ little\ brother's\ diaper,\ i\ jacked\ him\ off.\ I\ \ndon't\ know\ what\ drove\ me\ to\ do\ it,\ but\ I\ did.\ now\ i\ can't\ stop\ thinking\ \nabout\ his\ little\ penis.\ I\ think\ i\ want\ him\ to\ grow\ up\ and\ fuck\ me.\n%\nHow\ could\ Sony\ betray\ me\ like\ this?!?\ I\ waited\ in\ line\ for\ three\ \nmonths--yes,\ I\ started\ the\ very\ first\ line\ for\ the\ PS3\ way\ before\ anyone\ \nelse.\ I\ endured\ the\ elements,\ the\ snide\ comments,\ and\ unemployment\ (I\ was\ \nfired\ from\ my\ job\ after\ the\ first\ week)\ because\ I\ wanted\ to\ be\ the\ very\ \nfirst\ person\ to\ play\ what\ I\ imagined\ would\ be\ the\ salvation\ to\ all\ my\ \ndearest\ dreams.\ Rumor\ had\ it\ that\ playing\ a\ videogame\ on\ the\ PS3\ would\ be\ \nlike\ injecting\ heroin\ directly\ into\ your\ eyeball.\ I\ believed\ the\ hype\ and\ \nworshipped\ Sony\ as\ my\ god.\n\nFinally,\ with\ nearly\ every\ credit\ card\ maxed\ out\ and\ two\ debt\ consolidation\ \nplans\ under\ my\ belt,\ the\ great\ day\ arrived\ and\ I\ fought\ my\ way\ into\ the\ \nstore\ to\ get\ my\ hands\ on\ this\ wonder\ console.\ Leaving\ the\ store\ I\ did\ a\ \nlittle\ victory\ dance\ and\ then\ drove\ up\ and\ down\ the\ parking\ lot\ taunting\ \nthose\ who\ did\ not\ get\ a\ PS3.\ Then\ it\ was\ off\ to\ home\ to\ play\ this\ little\ \nbeauty.\n\nI\ hooked\ everything\ up\ while\ my\ wife\ and\ children\ watched\ and\ applauded\ at\ \nmy\ direction.\ It\ was\ time\ to\ play\ the\ first\ game!\ After\ two\ hours\ I\ noticed\ \nthat\ waves\ of\ heat\ were\ pouring\ off\ the\ console,\ so\ I\ told\ my\ daughter\ to\ \nhold\ it\ up\ in\ the\ air\ in\ front\ of\ a\ fan\ while\ I\ continued\ playing,\ waiting\ \nfor\ the\ opiate-like\ ecstasy\ that\ was\ soon\ to\ overwhelm\ me\ after\ I\ shot\ to\ \ndeath\ another\ video\ game\ enemy.\ Things\ went\ fine\ for\ awhile\;\ an\ hour\ later\ \nthe\ box\ began\ whistling\ and\ my\ daughter\ complained\ that\ it\ was\ getting\ too\ \nhot\ to\ hold.\ I\ figured\ this\ was\ just\ what\ they\ called\ \"burning\ in\"\ and\ \ncontinued\ playing.\n\nThen,\ at\ the\ four\ hour\ mark,\ my\ daughter\ began\ complaining\ of\ blisters\ and\ \nwithin\ fifteen\ minutes\ the\ entire\ console\ burst\ into\ flames,\ the\ plastic\ \ncasing\ scorching\ and\ bubbling\ as\ I\ rushed\ to\ complete\ the\ level.\ But\ I\ was\ \ntoo\ late,\ and\ my\ precious\ daughter\ burned\ to\ death.\ Wracked\ with\ sadness\ at\ \nnot\ being\ able\ to\ save\ my\ game,\ I\ immediately\ called\ my\ lawyer\ to\ review\ my\ \noptions\ for\ a\ massive\ lawsuit.\n\nI\ am\ sure\ we\ all\ expected\ a\ few\ \"bugs\"\ and\ \"glitches\"\ and\ \"inconveniences\",\ \nbut\ that\ does\ not\ excuse\ Sony\ for\ selling\ what\ appears\ to\ be\ a\ blazing\ DEATH\ \nTRAP.\n\nCaveat\ emptor!\n%\nNigger?\ So\ you\ think\ you\ are\ superior\ not\ only\ because\ you're\ white!\ it's\ \nbecause\ you\ read!\ ha!\ I\ didn't\ know\ they\ were\ people\ like\ you\ in\ this\ \nwebsite,\ and\ I\ hope\ you\ learn\ more\ about\ our\ people,\ because\ I'm\ very\ \nofended\ now.\ Racism\ is\ illegal,\ you\ know?\ if\ they\ were\ enough\ technologies\ \nto\ know\ who\ is\ behind\ that\ \"anonymus\",\ no\ doubt\ you\ would\ be\ behind\ bars\ \nnow!\ Please\ respect\ others,\ even\ if\ they\ don't\ like\ reading\ like\ you\ do.\n%\nI\ m\ a\ hindu\ religious\ girl.\ I\ don't\ when\ i\ got\ the\ habit\ of\ masturbation.Now\ \ni\ feeling\ guilty.?\nI\ have\ always\ wear\ panty\ while\ doing\ it.\ use\ pillow\ to\ masturbate.I\ think\ \nsome\ white\ discharge\ is\ there\ when\ i\ do\ this.doesn't\ know\ whether\ pillow\ \nbecame\ wet\ or\ not.\ I\ have\ left\ this\ habit\ when\ i\ came\ to\ know\ that\ it\ is\ not\ \ngood.\ my\ problem\ is\ now\ i\ think\ if\ anybody\ touches\ those\ pillow\ he\ or\ she\ \nwill\ become\ impure.\ similar\ is\ the\ with\ the\ things\ whom\ i\ used\ to\ touch\ that\ \ntime.what\ to\ do.I\ m\ getting\ mad.\ how\ to\ solve\ this\ issue.I\ promise\ not\ to\ \nmasturbate\ again.\ I\ cannot\ wash\ them\ all.Plz\ HELP\ AS\ SOON\ AS\ POSSIBLE.\ mAY\ \ngOD\ BLESS\ U\ ALL\n%\na\ rabbi\ told\ me\ the\ other\ day\ the\ deffinitive\ prove\ to\ demon's\ existance.\ \nyou\ have\ to\ get\ a\ black\ female\ cat\ (daughter\ of\ a\ black\ cat),\ kill\ it\ and\ \nburn\ it.\ put\ your\ bed\ in\ the\ middle\ of\ your\ room\ so\ that\ it's\ not\ touching\ \nany\ walls,\ and\ then\ spread\ the\ ash\ in\ a\ circle\ surrounding\ it.\ sleep\ there.\ \nthe\ next\ day\ if\ you're\ still\ alive\ you\ will\ see\ the\ marks\ of\ demon's\ feet:\ \nthey'll\ look\ like\ hen\ claws.\ and\ that's\ it,\ I\ really\ talked\ to\ a\ rabbi\ \nasking\ him\ to\ prove\ his\ \ wonderful\ religion\ and\ this\ is\ the\ best\ he\ could\ \ncome\ with\ (it\ is\ written\ on\ the\ guemara\ wich\ is\ like\ the\ torah\ i\ think).\n%\nYou\ can\ spot\ a\ Nintendo\ 64\ game\ from\ a\ mile\ away.\ If\ the\ textures\ look\ like\ \nthey\ were\ photographed\ with\ a\ cell\ phone\ camera,\ copied\ to\ VHS\ tape,\ copied\ \nto\ another\ VHS\ tape,\ imported\ into\ the\ computer\ and\ saved\ as\ a\ low\ quality\ \nJPEG,\ and\ then\ the\ computer\ was\ chucked\ into\ a\ fire,\ you\ know\ you're\ playing\ \na\ Nintendo\ 64\ game.\n%\nI\ am\ sick\ to\ death\ of\ the\ ludicrous\ anti-Nintendo\ ravings\ of\ you\ pissed-off\ \ngeeks.\ Do\ you\ really\ believe\ the\ rest\ of\ us\ don't\ see\ right\ through\ your\ \nmental\ pathology?\ Your\ entire\ conosole\ philosophy\ boils\ down\ to\ this:\ \"The\ \ncool\ kids\ picked\ on\ me\ in\ high\ school,\ and\ I\ can't\ get\ over\ it.\ I\ hate\ the\ \nWii\"\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ the\ aeon\ flux\ movie\ because\ i\ never\ wanna\ see\ you\ again\n%\nIM\ SO\ SICK\ AND\ TIRED\ OF\ CHRISTIANS\ PUSHING\ THEIR\ BELIEFS\ ON\ ME,\ i\ mean\ every\ \nyear\ i\ go\ to\ buy\ something\ at\ the\ store\ and\ I\ see\ HAPPY\ HOLLIDAYS\ and\ it\ \npisses\ me\ off\ so\ muchhh\ i\ mean\ christians\ are\ everywhere\ i\ mean\ its\ like\ \nUHHGGGGG\ but\ anyway\ this\ year\ its\ gonna\ be\ different.\ i\ just\ got\ down\ \npurchasing\ my\ ANTI-god\ pin.\ im\ going\ to\ every\ place\ where\ they\ sell\ \nchristmas\ trees\ and\ all\ the\ \"happy\"\ (yeah\ more\ like\ BRAINWASHED)\ familys\ \nwill\ see\ my\ anti-god\ pin\ and\ i\ will\ silently\ protest\ this\ stupid\ holliday\ \nyeah\ go\ atheists!\n%\nTokyo\ is\ a\ great\ country.\ I\ have\ been\ there.\ Its\ provinces\ (shinagawa,\ \nshinjuku,\ roppongi)\ are\ incredibly\ vast\ and\ there\ is\ an\ inter-provincial\ \nhigh\ speed\ train\ that\ links\ them\ all!\ The\ best\ part\ is\ that\ the\ train\ also\ \nallows\ you\ to\ travel\ to\ neighboring\ countries,\ for\ example\ if\ you\ wanted\ to\ \nvisit\ the\ country\ of\ Osaka\ you\ could\ do\ so\ because\ they\ use\ the\ same\ \ncurrency.\ Amazing,\ isn't\ it?\ I\ wish\ Canada\ would\ use\ the\ same\ dollars\ that\ \nthe\ US\ does.\n%\nNow\ disguised\ fully\ as\ some\ sort\ of\ shabbily\ dressed\ derelict,\ I\ quickly\ \nmade\ off\ with\ my\ shopping\ cart\ and\ ran\ full\ tilt\ back\ to\ the\ park.\ With\ no\ \nhesitation\ I\ dug\ through\ the\ trash\ barrel\ I'd\ found\ earlier,\ seizing\ every\ \nlast\ can\ and\ bottle\ from\ the\ fetid\ depths\ of\ the\ garbage.\ I\ was\ almost\ \ndeterred\ when\ my\ hand\ plunged\ into\ a\ soiled\ diaper,\ obviously\ unimproved\ \nfrom\ the\ three\ days\ of\ rain\ we'd\ received\ prior,\ but\ I\ had\ my\ eyes\ on\ the\ \nprize.\ I\ rolled\ my\ cart\ down\ the\ paths\ of\ the\ park,\ past\ the\ lemmings\ of\ our\ \nsociety\ as\ they\ strolled\ idly\ past\ jackpot\ after\ jackpot,\ lacking\ sense\ and\ \nambition\ enough\ to\ loot\ them\ for\ their\ own\ benefit.\ Many\ of\ them\ could\ not\ \ncontain\ their\ envy,\ looking\ at\ me\ with\ disgusted\ jealousy\ as\ I\ filled\ my\ \ncart\ with\ money.\ One\ phenomenon\ I\ cannot\ explain:\ a\ Catholic\ nun\ handed\ me\ a\ \none\ dollar\ bill\ and\ told\ me\ I\ could\ get\ a\ free\ meal\ at\ St.\ Joseph's\ parish\ \nevery\ Sunday\ afternoon.\ I\ took\ the\ cash,\ obviously,\ and\ thanked\ her\ for\ the\ \ntip\ on\ the\ new\ scam.\ I\ figure\ they\ must\ make\ you\ sign\ up\ for\ some\ shit\ \nbefore\ you\ get\ the\ free\ food,\ and\ that\ the\ nun\ must\ get\ a\ kickback\ for\ every\ \nnew\ signup.\ Slick\ setup,\ but\ I'll\ just\ keep\ the\ buck,\ Sister\ Sucker!\n\nWhen\ I\ thought\ I'd\ plucked\ the\ final\ gem\ from\ this\ treasure\ chest,\ I\ slowly\ \npaced\ my\ way\ towards\ the\ most\ convenient\ road\ out\ of\ the\ park.\ I\ passed\ by\ a\ \nman\ drinking\ from\ a\ brown\ paper\ bag.\ I\ wasn't\ born\ yesterday,\ so\ I\ knew\ that\ \nhe\ had\ a\ bottle\ in\ it\ (and\ probably\ not\ Chocolate\ Yoohoo\ if\ you\ get\ my\ \ndrift).\ I\ tried\ to\ look\ very\ patient\ and\ unassuming\ while\ I\ waited\ for\ him\ \nto\ finish\ his\ bottle\ and\ discard\ it,\ so\ that\ I\ might\ add\ it\ to\ my\ coffers.\ \nAfter\ ten\ or\ so\ minutes\ he\ did\ something\ shocking\ and\ unexpected:\ he\ walked\ \ninto\ a\ nearby\ Port-A-Potty\ and\ took\ the\ bottle\ in\ with\ him.\ Seven\ minutes\ \nlater,\ exactly,\ he\ re-emerged\ without\ his\ bottle.\ The\ disgusting\ truth\ was\ \nobvious,\ he\ had\ finished\ his\ bottle\ while\ on\ the\ latrine\ and\ tossed\ the\ \nempty\ down\ into\ the\ hole.\ I\ nearly\ wrote\ that\ one\ off\ as\ a\ loss,\ but\ then\ my\ \ninner\ puppet\ spoke\ once\ again,\ chiding\ me\ for\ the\ sheer\ Hagginsian\ nature\ of\ \nmy\ hesistation.\ Suffice\ to\ say,\ I\ was\ shoulder\ deep\ in\ shit\ before\ I\ even\ \nhad\ time\ to\ regret\ my\ moment\ of\ weakness.\ Was\ the\ resulting\ bottle\ of\ Olde\ \nEnglish\ 800\ Malt\ Liquor\ worth\ the\ effort?\ You\ bet\ your\ ass,\ buddy.\n\nAlright,\ so\ even\ the\ faithful\ are\ probably\ getting\ impatient\ by\ now.\ I'm\ \nsure\ you\ want\ to\ know\ what\ my\ take\ was\ after\ all\ that\ time\ and\ effort\ and\ \nboth\ occassions\ of\ having\ a\ limb\ thrust\ into\ fecal\ matter.\ Let's\ just\ say\ \nthat\ Andrew\ Jackson\ and\ I\ have\ a\ dinner\ date\ tonight\ (though\ I'll\ only\ be\ \nneeding\ his\ vagrant\ friend\ Alexander\ Hamilton\ once\ I\ apply\ my\ coupon).\ On\ \nsecond\ thought,\ Kroger's\ has\ On-Cor\ Salisbury\ Steaks\ for\ 2.50,\ and\ I\ have\ a\ \nmanufacturer's\ coupon\ which\ I\ attained\ by\ lying\ to\ their\ customer\ care\ line.\ \nIn\ case\ you're\ wondering,\ saying\ you\ found\ a\ condom\ in\ your\ chicken\ parmesan\ \nis\ only\ worth\ a\ dollar\ off\ your\ next\ purchase.\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ a\ playground\ slide\ because\ i\ want\ to\ go\ down\ on\ you\ \nrepeatedly\n%\nHonestly,\ I'd\ like\ to\ hear\ some\ commentary\ from\ someone\ who\ hasn't\ been\ \ncaught\ trying\ to\ suck\ their\ own\ dick.\n%\nYEAH\ RIGHT\ SO\ I\ STRAIGHT\ STABBED\ SOME\ PROSTITUTE\ WITH\ A\ FORK.\ IT\ AINT\ NOTHIN\ \nTHOUGH\ NAWMEAN.\ BITCH\ ASS\ JUDGE\ HIT\ ME\ WITH\ 3\ YEARS\ OF\ PROBATION\ AND\ 80\ \nHOURS\ OF\ COMMUNITY\ SERVICE.\ 80\ HOURS?\ NIGGA\ I\ BENCHPRESS\ 80\ HOURS.\ NIGGAS\ \nTHINK\ I\ AINT\ GONNA\ WILD\ OUT\ AND\ FORK\ SOMEONE\ ELSE\ CUZ\ I'M\ ON\ PAROLE\ SO\ I'M\ \nJUST\ LAUGHIN\ YO.\ I\ LAUGH\ AT\ THESE\ ACTORS.\ FUCKIN\ P.O\ THINKING\ I\ AINT\ GON\ \nCOME\ IN\ HIGH\ AS\ SHIT\ OFF\ THE\ TREES\ JUST\ BECAUSE\ I\ GOT\ PEE\ IN\ A\ CUP.\ I\ DO\ \nTHAT\ AND\ THROW\ IT\ IN\ A\ NIGGA'S\ FACE.\ PUNK\ LOOKIN\ OFFENDED\ AND\ SHIT\ I'M\ JUST\ \nLIKE\ DAMN\ SON,\ YOU\ SHOULD\ FEEL\ BLESSED\ TO\ BE\ COVERED\ IN\ MY\ URINE.\ FAGGOT\ \nDON'T\ KNOW\ WHERE\ MY\ DICK'S\ BEEN.\ IT\ AINT\ NOTHIN\ TO\ A\ G\ LIKE\ ME\ NAWMEAN\n%\nIn\ the\ 1960s,\ a\ student\ at\ Harvard\ Law\ School\ addressed\ the\ parents\ and\ \nalumni\ with\ these\ words:\n\nThe\ streets\ of\ our\ country\ are\ in\ turmoil.\ The\ universities\ are\ filled\ with\ \nstudents\ rebelling\ and\ rioting.\ Communists\ are\ seeking\ to\ destroy\ our\ \ncountry.\ Russia\ is\ threatening\ us\ with\ her\ might.\ And\ the\ republic\ is\ in\ \ndanger.\ Yes!\ danger\ from\ within\ and\ without.\ We\ need\ law\ and\ order!\ Without\ \nlaw\ and\ order\ our\ nation\ cannot\ survive.\n\nThere\ was\ prolonged\ applause.\ When\ the\ applause\ died\ down,\ the\ student\ \nquietly\ told\ his\ listeners:\ \"These\ word\ were\ spoken\ in\ 1932\ by\ Adolf\ Hitler.\"\n%\nHmm,\ are\ you\ implying\ that\ people\ with\ long\ hair\ are\ gay?\ That's\ pretty\ \nhilarious\ if\ so,\ seeing\ as\ how\ most\ gay\ people\ have\ basic\ short\ hair.\n%\nI\ am\ a\ BIG\ FAT\ GAY\ VAMPIRE\ in\ the\ BOSTON\ AREA.\ What\ I\ am\ looking\ for\ is\ \nother\ QUEER\ VAMPIRES\ to\ be\ GAY\ with\ and\ to\ DRINK\ BLOOD\ out\ of\ foofy\ martini\ \nglasses\ and\ maybe\ to\ use\ it\ as\ ingredients\ in\ a\ cosmopolitan.\ OR\ MAYBE\ ONE\ \nOF\ THOSE\ DRINKS\ WITH\ ALL\ THE\ UMBRELLAS\ AND\ THINGS.\ Then\ we\ will\ go\ DISCO\ \nDANCING\ to\ HOT\ DISCO\ TRACKS\ and\ talk\ about\ how\ TOTALLY\ AWESOME\ Madonna\ is.\ I\ \nguess\ after\ doing\ that\ we\ will\ have\ to\ get\ a\ PLATE\ OF\ NACHOS\ or\ something\ \nEQUALLY\ FATTENING\ and\ then\ stuff\ them\ into\ our\ BIG\ FAT\ GAY\ FACES.\ The\ nachos\ \nshould\ have\ SOUR\ CREAM\ on\ them\ because\ that\ is\ the\ best\ way\ to\ eat\ them.\ I\ \nam\ looking\ for\ someone\ who\ will\ let\ me\ DRINK\ THEIR\ QUEER\ BLOOD.\ In\ addition\ \nto\ being\ QUEER\ you\ must\ also\ be\ FAT,\ this\ is\ very\ important.\ Ideally\ I\ would\ \nalso\ get\ fatter\ from\ drinking\ your\ STUPID\ CHUBBY\ GAY\ BLOOD.\ You\ can\ drink\ \nmine\ too\ but\ only\ if\ I\ get\ to\ wear\ your\ GAY\ UNDERWEAR\ on\ my\ head\ while\ you\ \ndo.\n%\nhey\ gurl\ what\ kind\ of\ sex\ locations\ you\ into?\ im\ all\ about\ the\ dorm\ \nroom/hotel\ room/dark\ corner/men's\ bathroom/janitor's\ closet/parent's\ \nbedroom/kindergarten\ classroom/bus\ shelter/deserted\ corner\ of\ the\ park/arby's\n%\nWhile\ many\ parents\ are\ digging\ deep\ and\ forgoing\ luxuries\ in\ order\ to\ buy\ \ntheir\ children\ the\ newest\ videogame\ console,\ I've\ decided\ to\ build\ my\ own\ \ninteractive\ entertainment\ device\ for\ my\ children.\ It's\ a\ desk\ with\ a\ copy\ of\ \nthe\ holy\ bible\ on\ it.\ I\ call\ it\ the\ \"Praystation\ 3\"\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ a\ rodeo\ bull\ because\ i\ want\ to\ ride\ you\ for\ 8\ seconds\ and\ \nthen\ get\ off\n%\nKeep\ at\ it!\ I'm\ sure\ someday\ you'll\ be\ mentioned\ in\ a\ blog.\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ rearden\ metal\ because\ i'd\ like\ to\ run\ a\ train\ on\ you.\n%\nwindows\ genuine\ advantage,\ created\ so\ geeks\ have\ a\ genuine\ advantage\ when\ it\ \ncomes\ to\ getting\ in\ a\ womans\ pants.\ \ Masterminded\ by\ Bill\ Gates\ who\ wanted\ \nto\ give\ something\ back\ to\ the\ community.\ \ He\ devised\ a\ plot\ which\ would\ \nforce\ women\ to\ speak\ to\ lowly\ geeks\ world\ wide\n%\nshut\ the\ fuk\ up\ bitch\ u\ get\ a\ lyf\ dumass\ ur\ a\ fkn\ hipacrit\ u\ sed\ to\ keep\ \nshyt\ to\ urself\ well\ u\ didnt\ do\ that\ n\ ur\ lyk\ aw\ get\ over\ it\ well\ u\ fkn\ get\ \nover\ it\ 2\ then\ dont\ go\ fkn\ ritin\ shyt\ lyk\ u\ sed\ fkn\ looza\n%\nI\ admit,\ I\ love\ the\ natural\ smells\ of\ a\ man.\ Nothing\ turns\ me\ on\ more.\ A\ \nhealthy\ funk\ in\ a\ mans\ armpit\ or\ a\ working-mans\ sweaty\ balls\ are\ like\ \nnothing\ else\ to\ me.\ They\ are\ easily\ more\ effective\ than\ poppers,\ legal\ and\ \ndont\ give\ me\ a\ headache.\ Speaking\ of\ armpits,\ I\ dont\ like\ deodorant\ either,\ \nmostly\ because\ it\ tastes\ so\ terrible.\n%\nWhen\ I\ was\ in\ 7th\ grade\ my\ Social\ Studies\ teacher\ asked\ me\ what\ my\ favorite\ \nsystem\ of\ government\ was.\ Luckily\ I\ was\ wearing\ my\ Anti-Flag\ tee\ that\ day.\ I\ \ncracked\ my\ knuckles\ and\ reclined\ in\ my\ desk\ and\ replied\ cooly,\ \"Anarchy.\"\n%\nLinux\ Is\ your\ wife,\ I\ swear.\ I\ stride\ nude\ in\ your\ computer\ room\ \;\ yet\ you\ \ndont\ care.\ Transfixed\ with\ penguins\ on\ the\ screen.\ This\ Open\ Source\ makes\ me\ \nscream.\ Im\ tossing\ your\ computer\ in\ the\ trash.\ RMS\ is\ whose\ genitals\ you\ \ntongue\ lash.\ Enemy\ of\ Our\ Freedom\ you\ say?\ I\ dont\ care.\ You're\ just\ gay.\n%\nYes\ I\ too\ fell\ victim\ to\ internet\ cruelty.\ Only\ in\ my\ case\ it\ was\ IRC\ abuse.\ \nTo\ make\ a\ long\ story\ short\ I\ was\ willing\ to\ do\ anything\ to\ get\ +V\ and\ some\ \n'people'\ took\ advantage\ of\ that.\n%\nRoll\ Playing\ (RP)\ turns\ into\ real\ life\ tragedies\ and\ Real\ people\ get\ hurt\ or\ \ndie.\ If\ you\ want\ to\ RP\ why\ not\ try\ to\ Roll\ Play\ real\ life\ situations\ such\ as\ \nhow\ to\ pay\ the\ electric\ bill,\ house\ payment,\ and\ car\ payment,\ insurance\ and\ \nso\ on.\ Roll\ Play\ your\ parents\ working\ hard\ to\ give\ you\ a\ better\ education\ \nand\ life.\n%\nYesterday\ after\ coming\ home\ from\ an\ extremely\ long,\ stressful\ day\ of\ work,\ I\ \nplopped\ down\ on\ the\ couch\ to\ relax\ for\ a\ bit.\ Laying\ in\ front\ of\ the\ TV\ is\ \ngreat,\ but\ an\ orgasm\ would\ really\ help\ me\ blow\ off\ some\ steam.\ Lucky\ for\ me,\ \nI\ had\ recently\ purchased\ a\ rabbit,\ so\ I\ retrieved\ that\ from\ my\ bedroom,\ \nreturned\ to\ the\ couch,\ and\ brought\ up\ some\ gay\ porn\ on\ my\ laptop(side\ rant--\ \nwill\ someone\ please\ make\ porn\ tailored\ to\ women?)\ Just\ as\ I\ was\ beginning\ to\ \nget\ that\ tingling\ feeling\ that\ happens\ before\ I\ come,\ I\ heard\ the\ sound\ of\ \nsomeone\ trying\ to\ unlock\ the\ door\ to\ my\ apartment.\ WHATTHEFUCKISTHIS!?\ Shit!\ \nI\ am\ naked\ from\ the\ waist\ down\ holding\ a\ loud-ass\ vibrator\ standing\ in\ front\ \nof\ a\ laptop\ on\ which\ a\ man\ is\ moaning\ loudly\ and\ telling\ another\ man\ how\ he\ \nwants\ him\ to\ \"put\ it\ in\ my\ ass!\"\ SHIT!\ WHO\ THE\ FUCK\ IS\ COMING\ IN\ THE\ DOOR\ \nRIGHT\ NOW?\n\nI\ completely\ panic.\ My\ shaking\ hands\ try\ desperately\ to\ turn\ the\ vibrator\ \noff,\ but\ in\ my\ excited\ state\ I\ completely\ forget\ how\ to\ do\ it..there\ are\ so\ \nmany\ buttons!!\ why\ did\ I\ buy\ the\ fancy\ model???\ I\ rip\ the\ batteries\ out\ of\ \nthe\ stupid\ thing\ after\ fumbling\ with\ it\ and\ wasting\ precious\ seconds.\ I\ \nthrow\ everything\ in\ the\ closet\ of\ my\ bedroom,\ close\ the\ door,\ and\ start\ to\ \nlook\ for\ some\ pants.\ Then\ I\ remember\ that\ gay\ porn\ is\ still\ being\ played\ \nloudly\ on\ my\ couch.\ FUCK!\ FUCK!\ FUCK!\ I\ could\ hear\ the\ sound\ of\ the\ second\ \nlock\ unlocking.\ I\ dash\ back\ into\ the\ livingroom\ and\ try\ with\ my\ again\ \nshaking\ hands\ to\ at\ least\ turn\ the\ volume\ down.\ The\ door\ is\ opening\ at\ this\ \npoint\ so\ I\ snatch\ the\ laptop\ and\ scurry\ half-nakedly\ back\ to\ my\ bedroom\ \nwhile\ depressing\ the\ volume\ button.\ Unfortuately,\ I\ hit\ the\ wrong\ side\ of\ \nthe\ volume\ button\ and\ deafeningly\ loud\ moans\ are\ now\ emanating\ from\ my\ \nbedroom--gay\ men\ moans.\ Shit!\ People\ are\ in\ my\ living\ room\ now.\ I\ yell\ \"ONE\ \nMOMENT!!!!\"\ as\ loud\ as\ I\ can,\ trying\ to\ try\ to\ drown\ the\ sounds\ of\ Brad\ \ngetting\ slammed\ in\ the\ ass.\ In\ a\ complete\ state\ of\ terror\ I\ make\ the\ unwise\ \ndecision\ of\ throwing\ the\ laptop\ as\ far\ under\ my\ bed\ as\ I\ can,\ hoping\ that\ \nthe\ boxspring\ and\ mattress\ would\ be\ enough\ to\ muffle\ the\ sound\ of\ my\ laptop\ \nat\ full\ volume.\ Sadly,\ it\ was\ not.\ People\ are\ milling\ about\ in\ the\ apartment\ \nnow,\ so\ I\ grab\ some\ shorts\ from\ my\ bureau\ and\ emerge\ from\ my\ bedroom\ to\ \ngreet\ the\ realtor\ and\ prospective\ new\ tenants\ in\ a\ dress\ shirt\ and\ shorts,\ \nflushed,\ and\ visibly\ shaken.\ I\ introduce\ myself\ over\ the\ sounds\ of\ an\ \napparent\ orgy\ in\ my\ bedroom\ to\ a\ profusely\ apologizing\ realtor\ and\ a\ \nsmirking\ couple.\ I\ summoned\ as\ much\ dignity\ as\ I\ could,\ smiled\ devilishly,\ \nand\ returned\ to\ the\ fake\ orgy\ in\ my\ bedroom\ as\ they\ showed\ themselves\ out.\n%\nI\ like\ to\ put\ excessively\ large\ ammounts\ of\ Vaseline\ on\ my\ cock\ and\ fuck\ \nempty\ toilet\ paper\ rolls.\ I\ think\ my\ parents\ are\ starting\ to\ notice\ that\ \nwe're\ running\ out\ of\ Vaseline\ every\ 4\ days\ or\ so.\n%\nOne\ time\ I\ was\ performing\ anal\ sex\ on\ my\ best\ friends\ dog\ like\ I\ always\ did\ \non\ the\ weekends,\ but\ this\ most\ recent\ time\ I\ must\ of\ thrusted\ too\ hard\ and\ I\ \nthink\ I\ damaged\ the\ internals\ of\ the\ labrador.\ It\ then\ got\ a\ horrible\ hernia\ \nand\ soon\ died\ after\ my\ friend\ was\ attempting\ to\ coax\ it\ back\ to\ life.\ It\ \nfelt\ great.\n%\ni\ just\ took\ a\ shit\ and\ my\ toilet\ didn't\ really\ flush,\ i\ got\ pretty\ \nfrustrated\ and\ now\ im\ going\ to\ masturbate\ to\ internet\ porn\ galleries.\ Good\ \nday\ to\ you.\n%\nI\ bought\ this\ book\ to\ teach\ my\ child\ about\ her\ body,\ and\ I\ was\ excited\ about\ \nthe\ opportunity\ to\ bond\ with\ her\ in\ this\ fashion.\ However,\ little\ did\ I\ know\ \nabout\ all\ of\ the\ pictures\ of\ nude\ women\ in\ this\ book.\ The\ almost\ 'erotic'\ \nquality\ of\ these\ photos\ were\ not\ for\ children!\ Then\ when\ we\ got\ to\ the\ parts\ \nthat\ involved\ naked\ men,\ I\ shut\ the\ book.\ She\ didn't\ need\ to\ see\ those\ \npictures.\ Later,\ when\ she\ was\ asleep\ -\ I\ looked\ at\ the\ book\ alone\ and\ found\ \nunbelievable\ pictures\ of\ naked\ men\ and\ women\ performing\ the\ strangest\ acts\ \non\ each\ other\ with\ pieces\ of\ fruit\ and\ a\ vacuum\ cleaner!\ What\ is\ my\ child\ \ngoing\ to\ learn\ from\ this?\ How\ to\ be\ a\ Kuma\ Sutra\ expert?\ No,\ thanks.\ She\ \ngets\ plenty\ of\ that\ from\ her\ father.\n%\nyou\ walk\ in(\ the\ door\ will\ be\ open\ for\ you)\ you\ come\ to\ my\ bedrom\ where\ porn\ \nwill\ be\ playing.......you\ begin\ to\ suck\ this\ big\ black\ dick...no\ damn\ small\ \ntalk...just\ walk\ in\ and\ start\ sucking........i\ cum\ on\ your\ face\ and\ then\ you\ \ncan\ leave\ or\ then\ when\ can\ have\ small\ talk.....be\ ready.....i\ dont\ want\ a\ \nlot\ of\ emails\ back\ and\ forth..just\ let\ me\ know\ if\ your\ ready\ for\ a\ \naddress.....\n%\ngurl\ what\ design\ patterns\ u\ into?\ \ i'm\ into:\ \ bridge\ /\ command\ /\ interpreter\ \n/\ prototype\ /\ flyweight\ /\ strategy\ /\ builder\ /\ abstract\ factory\ /\ proxy\ /\ \nfacade\ /\ composite\ /\ chain\ of\ responsibility\ /\ decorator\ /\ adapter\ /\ factory\ \nmethod\ /\ observer\ /\ memento\ /\ template\ method\ /\ visitor\ /\ iterator\ /\ \nmediator\ /\ state\ /\ singleton\n%\ni\ keep\ baking\ fucking\ cakes.\ \ this\ pink\ wig\ tart\ keeps\ me\ up\ nights\ and\ \nsince\ i\ can't\ jack\ off\ any\ more\ since\ the\ operation\ i\ just\ keep\ fucking\ \nmaking\ cakes.\ \ everyone\ at\ the\ office\ thinks\ that\ i'm\ some\ sort\ of\ faggot\ \nbecuase\ i\ bring\ in\ cakes\ every\ day.\ they're\ all\ fat\ forty-five\ year\ old\ \ntits-sagging-to-the-floor\ soccer\ moms\ and\ if\ they\ knew\ that\ cake-baking\ was\ \nmy\ masturbatory\ substitute\ they\ probably\ wouldn't\ even\ eat\ them.\ \ probably\ \nalso\ if\ they\ knew\ i\ pissed\ in\ the\ cake\ mix.\n%\ndid\ you\ guys\ hear\ on\ the\ news?\ usually\ i\ don't\ watch\ the\ news,\ i\ just\ heard\ \nmy\ friend's\ brother\ freaking\ out\ about\ it.\ it's\ on\ right\ now.\ North\ Korea\ \nshot\ a\ three\ missiles\ at\ Japan,\ but\ MISSED!!\ XD\ what\ would\ happen\ if\ they\ \ndidn't\ miss??\ one\ of\ them\ was\ aimed\ for\ America,\ too.\ It's\ on\ Fox\ News\ right\ \nnow.\ THey're\ talking\ about\ shooting\ back\ at\ Korea.\ STUPID\ KOREA!\ dude,\ \nmanhwa\ vs\ manga.\ XD\ awesome.\nwhat\ if\ they\ actually\ didn't\ miss??\ what\ would\ happen\ to\ everyone's\ favorite\ \nmangas\ and\ animes.\ i\ pray\ to\ God\ this\ isn't\ the\ end\ of\ humanity.\ Wait,\ i\ \ndon't\ care\ if\ humanity\ ends.\ Humanity\ sucks.\ I\ just\ don't\ want\ JAPAN\ TO\ END!\ \nor\ the\ world.\ i\ haven't\ even\ had\ a\ chance\ to\ glomp\ Inuyasha.\ I\ DON'T\ HAVE\ \nPROBLEMS!!!!\ :ninja:\n%\nThe\ first\ step\ is\ to\ heat\ 3\ or\ 4\ hot\ dogs\ to\ body\ temperature.\ Don't\ make\ \nthem\ too\ hot\ or\ it\ won't\ work\ --\ about\ 30\ seconds\ will\ do.\ When\ they're\ \ndone,\ stick\ all\ the\ hot\ dogs\ into\ a\ condom.\ Lube\ your\ penis\ and\ slide\ it\ \ninto\ the\ middle\ of\ the\ hot\ dogs,\ so\ they're\ surrounding\ your\ penis.\ Then\ \npump\ the\ entire\ package.\ And\ don't\ worry,\ the\ condom\ won't\ break.\n%\nHey\ /b/,\ I\ have\ a\ very\ serious\ problem.\ I'm\ fucking\ crying\ because\ of\ how\ \nstupid\ I\ am.\n\nOkay,\ so\ my\ girlfriend\ was\ supposed\ to\ come\ over\ to\ my\ house\ today\ because\ I\ \nwas\ going\ to\ go\ take\ her\ to\ a\ movie.\ She\ lives\ about\ 20\ minutes\ away,\ and\ \nthe\ movie\ we\ were\ supposed\ to\ see\ started\ at\ 4:15,\ which\ was\ in\ about\ 40\ \nminutes.\ I\ figured\ \"cool,\ I'll\ just\ play\ Pokemon\ while\ I\ wait\".\n\nSo\ I'm\ playing\ Pokemon,\ and\ having\ a\ pretty\ damn\ good\ time.\ Anyway,\ she\ \nfinally\ does\ show\ up,\ except\ she's\ crying\ as\ she\ walks\ into\ my\ room.\ Instead\ \nof\ doing\ the\ right\ thing\ by\ comforting\ her,\ I\ half-focus\ on\ my\ game\ and\ her.\ \nShe\ starts\ telling\ me\ her\ cat\ died,\ and\ just\ as\ she\ was\ getting\ into\ it,\ I\ \nget\ into\ a\ random\ encounter\ in\ my\ game.\n\nA\ shiny\ pidgey.\ Holy\ shit.\ (For\ those\ of\ you\ who\ don't\ know/care,\ shiny\ \npokemon\ have\ less\ than\ a\ 1/1000\ chance\ of\ appearing).\ I\ stare\ into\ my\ screen\ \nin\ amazement,\ yelling\ \"holy\ shit,\ YES\",\ interrupting\ her\ mid-story.\ She\ sobs\ \nmore,\ and\ she\ starts\ to\ yell\ \"You\ don't\ even\ fucking\ care!\ YOU\ JUST\ WANT\ TO\ \nPLAY\ YOUR\ FUCKING\ GAME!\"\ I'm\ still\ looking\ at\ my\ screen,\ still\ focusing\ on\ \ncatching\ my\ shiny\ pidgey,\ when\ she\ walks\ over,\ and\ tosses\ the\ game\ against\ \nthe\ wall.\ I\ run\ over\ and\ pick\ up\ my\ DS\ hoping\ that\ nothing\ has\ changed\ on\ \nscreen,\ and\ quickly\ noticed\ that\ she\ broke\ it.\ My\ system\ and\ my\ shiny\ \npidgey,\ gone\ forever.\n\nI\ start\ screaming\ every\ obsenity\ I\ know,\ and\ started\ flailing\ my\ arms\ \naround.\ I\ didn't\ know\ she\ was\ behind\ me,\ and\ appearantly\ I\ backhanded\ her\ in\ \nthe\ face\ while\ I\ was\ being\ a\ dumbass\ and\ swinging\ my\ fists\ around.\ She\ yells\ \nout\ \"FUCK\ YOU\",\ and\ runs\ out\ of\ my\ house\ in\ tears.\n\nWhat\ have\ I\ done?\ I've\ fucked\ up\ so\ badly,\ and\ I\ need\ to\ know\ how\ to\ \napproach\ her.\ I\ don't\ want\ a\ game\ of\ Pokemon\ to\ be\ respoinsible\ for\ ruining\ \nmy\ best\ relationship\ ever.\ Help\ me\ /b/.\n%\nOver\ the\ years,\ the\ bathrooms\ at\ the\ Church\ have\ fallen\ into\ ill\ repair\ and\ \nwe\ decided\ to\ completely\ replace\ them\ with\ more\ conveniently\ located\ \nbathrooms\ across\ the\ Church.\ \ To\ make\ a\ use\ for\ our\ old\ bathrooms,\ I've\ \ndecided\ to\ convert\ them\ into\ novel\ \"Glory\ holes\",\ where\ children\ may\ \ncelebrate\ the\ Glory\ of\ God\ by\ speaking\ to\ a\ priest\ or\ other\ spiritual\ \nadvisor\ through\ a\ hole\ in\ the\ wall.\n%\nWell,\ it\ finally\ happened.\ Women\ got\ as\ horny\ as\ us.\ All\ it\ took\ was\ five\ \nyears\ of\ dry\ humping\ in\ high\ school,\ one\ or\ two\ boyfriends\ in\ college,\ a\ \nfailed\ career,\ three\ giant\ kids,\ and\ a\ divorce.\ Now\ they?re\ so\ horny\ they?re\ \nwilling\ to\ pay\ for\ it.\ Nice\ timing,\ God.\n%\nFUBU\ BIG\ CHAINZ\ DUBZ\ \$BLING\$\ \$BLING\$\ FUCK\ DA\ 5-0\ BITCHES\ BLUNTS\ 40Z\ KICIKIN\ \nIT\ BLUNTED\ JARNELL\ BABY\ MAMMA\ CHILD\ SUPPORT\ CHICKEN\ AN\ WATERMELON\ KOOL\ AID\ \nDA\ RED\ KIND\ FOOD\ STAMPS\ WESTSIDE\ \$\$CASH\ MONIES\$\$\ DRIVE\ BY\ RYDE\ OR\ DIE\ NIGGA\ \nRUFF\ RYDA\ 4\ LYFE\ PHAT\ ICE\ PHAT\ BLUNT\ DENZEL\ WASHINGTON\ ROCAWEAR\ ICE\ BLING\ \nBLING\ 5-0\ 187\ MURDA\ MURDA\ FOOD\ STAMPS\ BLUNTS\ PAPERZ\ BLAZED\ WELFARE\ CHITLINS\ \nGRITS\ KOOL\ AID\ HOLLA\ BACK\ FUCK\ DA\ POLICE\ ROLLIN\ IN\ DA\ BENZ-O\n%\nSometims\ when\ I\ feel\ an\ unusually\ large\ bowel\ movement\ coming\ soon,\ I'll\ \nweigh\ myself\ before\ and\ after\ to\ determine\ the\ magnitude\ of\ the\ feces\ I'm\ \nshedding\n%\nI\ like\ fucking\ pregnant\ women.\ If\ they�re\ having\ a\ boy\ it\ ain�t\ fun,\ but\ if\ \nthey\ have\ a\ girl\ then\ it�s\ two\ pussies\ for\ the\ price\ of\ one.\n%\nI\ have\ put\ you\ on\ a\ permanent\ ignore,\ public\ and\ private.\ I\ have\ found\ you\ \ndisturbing,\ rude\ and\ generally\ not\ worth\ talking\ to.\ According\ to\ the\ \nchannels\ you\ hang\ on,\ it\ strengtens\ the\ effect\ of\ wanting\ to\ put\ you\ on\ \nignore\ because\ of\ my\ lack\ of\ interest\ in\ you\ as\ a\ person.\ This\ message\ is\ \nnot\ meant\ to\ be\ rude\ to\ you,\ just\ to\ inform\ you\ that\ i\ won't\ see\ anything\ of\ \nwhat\ you\ type\ from\ now\ on.\n%\none\ time\ i\ found\ a\ bum\ passed\ out.\ i\ thought\ it\ would\ be\ one\ hell\ of\ a\ gag\ \nto\ take\ him\ and\ put\ him\ in\ my\ roomates\ bed\ with\ him\ so\ i\ did.\ he\ woke\ up\ to\ \nthe\ shock\ of\ a\ naked\ bum\ and\ couldnt\ stand\ the\ thought\ of\ what\ might\ have\ \nhappend\ that\ night.\ he\ then\ killed\ himself\ before\ i\ could\ enjoy\ my\ little\ \npractical\ joke\n%\nShe's\ so\ fucking\ cute\ and\ sweet.\ I'd\ treat\ her\ to\ some\ fancy\ restaurant,\ \nthen\ take\ a\ long\ romantic\ walk\ with\ her,\ holding\ hands\ and\ talking\ about\ \nphilosophy,\ art\ and\ dreams.\ Then\ I'd\ invite\ her\ to\ my\ home\ and\ ravage\ her\ \nhot\ ass\ for\ hours,\ and\ forcing\ my\ cock\ down\ her\ throat\ so\ she\ choked\ on\ both\ \nthe\ throbbing\ cock\ and\ her\ own\ rectal\ juice.\ I'd\ then\ proceed\ to\ cum\ on\ her\ \ncute\ innocent\ face.\ Then,\ as\ the\ ultimate\ love\ gift,\ I'd\ carry\ her\ in\ my\ \narms\ to\ the\ tub\ and\ let\ my\ piss\ wash\ away\ the\ semen\ and\ last\ dignity\ from\ \nher.\ I'd\ whisper\ \"I\ love\ you\"\ and\ give\ her\ a\ tender\ smile,\ and\ cut\ her\ \nthroat\ from\ ear\ to\ ear\ with\ a\ knife.\ Covered\ in\ her\ own\ warm\ blood,\ she'd\ \nlook\ straight\ into\ my\ very\ soul,\ forgiving,\ understanding.\ A\ bubble\ from\ \nblood\ and\ saliva\ would\ burst\ between\ her\ lips,\ then\ she'd\ die.\ After\ some\ \nadditional\ lovemaking,\ I'd\ stuff\ her\ in\ a\ bin\ bag.\ Three\ Weeks\ later,\ some\ \nplaying\ children\ will\ find\ her\ mutilated\ and\ desecrated\ body\ in\ the\ forest.\ \nThey\ will\ be\ scarred\ for\ life.\n%\nI\ thought\ gmail\ was,\ like,\ gangsta\ mail.\ I\ signed\ up\ expecting\ to\ get\ g'd\ up\ \nwith\ bitches,\ gangstas\ and\ guns\ but\ it's\ just\ an\ email\ service.\n%\nhey\ girl,\ what\ kind\ of\ religions\ you\ into,\ i\\\;m\ all\ about\ Judaism,\ \nContemporary\ divisions,\ Rabbinic\ Judaism,\ Orthodox\ Judaism,\ Modern\ Orthodox\ \nJudaism,\ Haredi\ Judaism,\ Hassidic\ Judaism,\ Conservative\ Judaism\ (Masorti),\ \nReform\ Judaism,\ Reconstructionist\ Judaism,\ Humanistic\ Judaism,\ Karaite\ \nJudaism,\ Historical\ groups,\ Hasmoneans,\ Essenes,\ Pharisees,\ Sadducees,\ \nZealots,\ Sicarii,\ Ebionites,\ Elkasites,\ Nazarenes,\ Crypto-Jews,\ Marranos,\ \nConversos,\ Christianity,\ Eastern\ Orthodoxy,\ Roman\ Catholicism,\ Oriental\ \nOrthodoxy,\ Monophysitism,\ Nestorianism,\ Arianists,\ Arian\ Catholicism,\ \nUnitarians,\ Protestantism,\ High\ Protestantism,\ Lutherans,\ Anglicans,\ \nCalvinist\ sects,\ Reformed,\ Presbyterian,\ Low\ Protestantism,\ Methodists,\ \nBaptists,\ Radical\ Low\ Protestantism,\ Anabaptists,\ Mennonites,\ Amish,\ \nReligious\ Society\ of\ Friends,\ Evangelicalism,\ Pentecostals,\ Apostolic\ \nChurches,\ Unitarians,\ Waldensians,\ Latter-day\ Saints,\ Church\ of\ Jesus\ Christ\ \nof\ Latter-day\ Saints,\ Community\ of\ Christ,\ Fundamentalist\ Church\ of\ Jesus\ \nChrist\ of\ Latter\ Day\ Saints,\ Seventh-day\ Adventist,\ Jehovah's\ Witnesses,\ \nMama\ Tata,\ Messianic\ Judaism,\ Islam,\ Kharijites,\ Shiite,\ Alawites,\ Ismailis,\ \nJafari,\ Zaiddiyah,\ Ghulat\ including,\ Alevi\ /\ Bektashi,\ Ahl-e\ Haqq,\ Yazidi,\ \nDruze,\ Ahmadi,\ Sunni,\ Berailvi,\ Deobandi,\ Hanafi,\ Hanbali,\ Maliki,\ \nMu'tazili,\ Shafi'i,\ Wahhabi,\ Sufism,\ Naqshbandi,\ Bektashi,\ Chishti,\ Mevlevi,\ \nTijani,\ Zikri,\ Mandaeanists,\ Hinduism,\ Agama\ Hindu\ Dharma,\ Shaivism,\ \nShaktism,\ Smartism,\ Vaishnavism,\ Lingayatism,\ Gaudiya\ Vaishnavism,\ ISKCON\ \n(Hare\ Krishna),\ Sri\ Krishna\ Chaitanya\ Mission,\ Samkhya,\ Nyaya,\ Vaisheshika,\ \nPurva\ mimamsa,\ Vedanta\ (Uttar\ Mimamsa),\ Dvaita\ Vedanta,\ Advaita\ Vedanta,\ \nIntegral\ Yoga,\ Yoga,\ Ashtanga\ Yoga,\ Hatha\ yoga,\ Siddha\ Yoga,\ Tantric\ Yoga,\ \nAyyavazhi,\ Shramana\ Religions,\ Buddhism,\ Mahayana,\ Nikaya\ schools,\ \nTheravada,\ Vajrayana,\ Jainism,\ Digambara,\ Shvetambara,\ Panth\ Religions,\ \nSikhism,\ Nirankari,\ Kabir\ Panth,\ Dadu\ Panth,\ Zoroastrianism,\ Magus,\ \nGnosticism,\ Basilidians,\ Bogomils,\ Borborites,\ Cainites,\ Carpocratians,\ \nCathars,\ Marcionism,\ Ophites,\ Valentinians,\ Hermeticism,\ Vaishnavism,\ \nAfrican\ religions,\ Akamba\ mythology,\ Akan\ mythology,\ Ashanti\ mythology,\ \nBushongo\ mythology,\ Bwiti,\ Dahomey\ mythology,\ Dinka\ mythology,\ Efik\ \nmythology,\ Egyptian\ mythology,\ Ibo\ mythology,\ Isoko\ mythology,\ Khoikhoi\ \nmythology,\ Lotuko\ mythology,\ Lugbara\ mythology,\ Pygmy\ mythology,\ Tumbuka\ \nmythology,\ Yoruba\ mythology,\ Zulu\ mythology,\ African\ diaspora\ religions,\ \nKumina,\ Obeah,\ SanterÃa\ (Lukumi),\ Vodou,\ Candomblé,\ Macumba,\ Umbanda\ and\ \nQuimbanda,\ Xango,\ Anglo-Saxon\ mythology,\ Basque\ mythology,\ Druidry\ (Celtic\ \nReligion),\ Finnish\ mythology,\ Germanic\ paganism,\ Norse\ mythology,\ Greek\ \nreligion,\ Greek\ mythology,\ Mystery\ religions,\ Eleusinian\ Mysteries,\ \nMithraism,\ Pythagoreanism,\ Roman\ religion,\ Roman\ mythology,\ Slavic\ \nmythology,\ Babylonian\ mythology,\ Chaldean\ mythology,\ Sumerian\ mythology,\ \nChinese\ mythology,\ Shinto,\ Oomoto,\ Tengriism,\ Yezidis,\ Abenaki\ mythology,\ \nAztec\ mythology,\ Blackfoot\ mythology,\ Chippewa\ mythology,\ Creek\ mythology,\ \nCrow\ mythology,\ Guarani\ mythology,\ Haida\ mythology,\ Ho-Chunk\ mythology,\ \nHuron\ mythology,\ Inuit\ mythology,\ Iroquois\ mythology,\ Kwakiutl\ mythology,\ \nLakota\ mythology,\ Lenape\ mythology,\ Navaho\ mythology,\ Nootka\ mythology,\ \nPawnee\ mythology,\ Salish\ mythology,\ Selk'nam\ religion,\ Seneca\ mythology,\ \nTsimshian\ mythology,\ Ute\ mythology,\ Zuni\ mythology,\ Australian\ Aboriginal\ \nmythology,\ Balinese\ mythology,\ Maori\ mythology,\ Modekngei\ (Republic\ of\ \nPalau),\ Nauruan\ indigenous\ religion,\ Polynesian\ mythology,\ Church\ of\ All\ \nWorlds,\ Dievturiba,\ Germanic\ neopaganism,\ Heathenry,\ Odinism,\ Theodism,\ \nWotanism,\ Judeo-Paganism,\ Maausk,\ Neo-druidism,\ Summum,\ Taarausk,\ Wicca,\ \nAlexandrian\ Wicca,\ Dianic\ Wicca\ (Feminist\ Wicca),\ Gardnerian\ Wicca,\ Faery\ \nWicca,\ Feri\ Tradition,\ Carvaka,\ Confucianism,\ Deism,\ Ethical\ Culture,\ \nFellowship\ of\ Reason,\ Spiritual\ Humanism,\ Mohism,\ Taoism,\ Dragon\ Rouge,\ \nSatanism,\ LaVeyan\ Satanism,\ Church\ of\ Satan,\ Order\ of\ Nine\ Angles,\ \nSetianism,\ Temple\ of\ Set,\ The\ Storm,\ Quimbanda,\ Luciferianism,\ Syncretic\ \nreligions,\ Cao\ Dai,\ Falun\ Dafa,\ Huna,\ Konkokyo,\ Manichaeism,\ Unitarian\ \nUniversalism,\ Universal\ Life\ Church,\ Tenrikyo,\ Theosophy,\ Seicho-No-Ie,\ \nBurkhanism,\ Cargo\ cults,\ Ghost\ Dance,\ Native\ American\ Church,\ Rastafari\ \nmovement,\ Umbanda,\ Candomble,\ Pastafarianism,\ Church\ of\ Emacs,\ Polytheism,\ \nMysticism,\ Atheism,\ \ you\ know\n%\nThe\ relationship\ between\ gamer\ and\ game\ is\ much\ unlike\ the\ relationship\ \nbetween\ needle\ and\ record-groove\ (that\ is\ to\ say,\ the\ needle\ loves\ the\ \nrecord\ groove\ and\ vice-versa,\ so\ says\ Tamio\ Okuda)\;\ the\ game\ has\ to\ love\ the\ \nplayer\ even\ when\ the\ player\ hates\ the\ game.\n%\nim\ from\ louisiana.drank\ killed\ my\ boyfriend\ sippin\ isnt\ for\ everyone\ so\ be\ \ncareful\n%\nLAWL\ I\ ONCE\ HEARD\ AN\ AOL\ COMMERCIAL\ THAT\ SAID\ \"AOL\ IS\ GOOD\"\ AND\ I\ LAUGHED\ MY\ \nASS\ OFF\ AND\ I\ LITERALLY\ PISSED\ AND\ SHAT\ MY\ PANTS\ SIMULTANEOUSLY\ AND\ THEN\ I\ \nTHREW\ UP\ IN\ MY\ MOUTH\ A\ LITTLE\ AND\ IT\ WAS\ THE\ FUNNIEST\ THING\ I\ HAVE\ EVER\ \nHEARD\ OH\ MY\ GOD\ THAT\ WAS\ FUNNY\n%\none\ time\ i\ invited\ two\ of\ my\ friends\ (well,\ my\ only\ two\ friends)\ over\ for\ \ndinner\ at\ my\ apartment.\ i\ was\ in\ a\ bad\ mood\ that\ day\ and\ while\ they\ were\ in\ \nthe\ living\ room\ playing\ sword\ quest\ 4,\ i\ masturbated\ into\ the\ milk\ in\ the\ \nmeasuring\ cup\ before\ making\ the\ mashed\ potatoes.\ all\ three\ of\ us\ enjoyed\ the\ \nmeal,\ myself\ doubly\ so...\ in\ part\ because\ i\ secretly\ knew\ my\ friends\ now\ \nhave\ my\ seed\ in\ them,\ and\ also\ in\ part\ because\ i\ ate\ the\ mashed\ potatoes\ too\ \nand\ the\ thought\ of\ consuming\ my\ own\ seed\ makes\ me\ want\ to\ masturbate\ into\ \nmore\ food.\ i\ fear\ i\ am\ in\ a\ vicious\ cycle\ at\ this\ point.\ someone\ help\ me?\ \nplease?\n%\nDEAR\ ABBY:\ I\ recently\ met\ a\ gorgeous\ woman\ I'll\ call\ \"Giselle.\"\ After\ we\ had\ \ndated\ for\ a\ couple\ of\ months\ and\ became\ physically\ involved,\ she\ told\ me\ she\ \nhad\ had\ gender\ reassignment\ surgery\ and\ used\ to\ be\ a\ man!\ I\ was,\ to\ say\ the\ \nleast,\ shocked\ and\ deeply\ disturbed.\ I\ did\ not\ punch\ out\ Giselle\ as\ I\ would\ \nhave\ liked\ to\ --\ which\ brings\ me\ to\ my\ question.\ What\ is\ the\ etiquette\ \nregarding\ physically\ confronting\ someone\ like\ that?\ Is\ it\ the\ same\ as\ \nhitting\ a\ girl?\ We're\ roughly\ the\ same\ size.\ --\ DISTRESSED\ IN\ VIRGINIA\n%\nI\ have\ neither\ the\ time\ nor\ the\ inclination\ to\ explain\ myself\ to\ a\ man\ who\ \nrises\ and\ sleeps\ under\ the\ blanket\ of\ the\ very\ freedom\ I\ provide,\ then\ \nquestions\ the\ manner\ in\ which\ I\ provide\ it.\n%\nWomen\ make\ up\ 51\ percent\ of\ the\ population,\ and\ because\ of\ this,\ Linux\ \nshould\ be\ banned\ in\ government.\ Operating\ Systems\ like\ Linux\ discriminate\ \nagainst\ women\ because\ of\ a\ built\ in\ difficulty\ \ compared\ with\ Windows\ and\ \nApple's\ OS\ X.\n\nWomen\ pay\ taxes,\ and\ therefore\ shouldn't\ be\ discriminated\ against\ in\ getting\ \nemployment\ with\ government\ agencies.\ If\ these\ agencies\ had\ used\ Windows\ or\ \nOS\ X,\ more\ women\ would\ be\ able\ to\ persue\ dreams\ of\ a\ full\ time\ job\ in\ \ngovernment.\ Linux\ is\ by\ its\ nature\ a\ man's\ domain.\ Women\ are\ designed\ to\ use\ \nsocial\ interaction\ and\ emotions\ to\ deal\ with\ complex\ tasks,\ things\ the\ \ncommand\ line\ are\ ill\ suited.\n\nOS\ X,\ and\ Windows\ have\ friendly\ and\ female-intuitive\ designs\ that\ take\ into\ \naccount\ a\ woman's\ understanding\ of\ objects,\ ie.\ folders,\ desktops,\ Clippy,\ \nthe\ XP\ search\ dog.\ \ These\ help\ women\ operate\ the\ computer\ by\ giving\ her\ a\ \nrelationship\ with\ these\ icons,\ and\ helpful\ animated\ pets.\ It\ makes\ a\ woman\ \nfeel\ at\ home\ with\ her\ computer\ by\ allowing\ her\ to\ relate\ to\ it.\n\nLinux,\ on\ the\ other\ hand\ is\ designed\ for\ command\ line\ and\ programming.\ Sure,\ \nit\ may\ have\ a\ fugly\ GUI\ to\ hide\ its\ true\ being,\ but\ to\ get\ any\ serious\ work\ \ndone\ you\ must\ know\ a\ bunch\ of\ arcane\ commands\ with\ hundreds\ of\ options\ that\ \nchange\ with\ every\ command.\ Something\ like\ this:\ chmod\ a+rwx.\ Only\ engineers\ \ncan\ understand\ this.\ And\ most\ engineers\ are\ still\ men.\ This\ puts\ the\ female\ \npopulation\ at\ a\ great\ disadvantage\ when\ applying\ for\ work.\ Men\ know\ this,\ \nand\ that's\ why\ they\ deliberately\ try\ to\ install\ linux\ in\ the\ workplace.\n\nHow\ would\ women's\ groups\ react\ when\ they\ read\ the\ studies\ that\ are\ being\ \ncommissioned\ by\ industry\ on\ this\ very\ subject?\ Surely,\ women,\ when\ they\ \nlearn\ of\ this,\ will\ outvote\ men\ and\ ban\ linux\ from\ the\ government.\n%\nI\ work\ for\ a\ shipping\ company\ that\ deals\ specifically\ with\ the\ delivery\ of\ \nanimals,\ mostly\ lab\ animals\ but\ we\ get\ some\ zoo\ business.\ Occasionaly\ some\ \nof\ these\ animals\ die\ during\ shipping,\ and\ we\ do\ some\ paperwork\ and\ have\ them\ \ncreamated\ and\ no\ one\ ever\ misses\ them.\ Once\ I\ stole\ a\ monkey\ and\ marked\ it\ \nas\ dead\ and\ burned\ on\ the\ paperwork.\ I\ took\ it\ because\ it\ was\ a\ very\ large\ \nmonkey\ and\ I\ thought\ it\ might\ make\ a\ cool\ pet.\ After\ I\ got\ tired\ of\ taking\ \ncare\ of\ a\ huge\ monkey\ I\ shaved\ it\ and\ took\ it\ to\ a\ prostitute.\ I\ told\ her\ it\ \nwas\ my\ deformed\ younger\ brother\ and\ that\ I\ would\ pay\ her\ extra\ to\ take\ his\ \nvirginity.\ It\ cost\ me\ a\ lot\ of\ money\ but\ I\ got\ her\ to\ do\ it\ and\ let\ me\ \nwatch.\ She\ was\ trying\ to\ pretend\ she\ liked\ it\ but\ she\ looked\ sick\ and\ \nManny(the\ monkey)\ was\ confused\ at\ first\ but\ he\ really\ started\ to\ get\ into\ \nit.\ The\ whole\ experience\ makes\ me\ sick\ when\ I\ think\ about\ it.\ The\ fact\ that\ \nI\ watched\ and\ that\ I\ did\ that\ to\ that\ girl,\ I\ wonder\ if\ she\ beleived\ it\ was\ \nreally\ my\ brother\ or\ if\ she\ just\ needed\ more\ crack.\ But\ also\ when\ I\ think\ \nabout\ it\ I\ laugh\ so\ fucking\ hard.\ I\ shot\ the\ monkey\ and\ left\ it\ in\ the\ woods\ \nafterword,\ I\ guess\ Manny\ died\ happy.\n%\nTHERE\ IS\ NO\ JUSTIFICAITON\ FOR\ ATTACKING\ SOMEONE.\ NOT\ EVEN\ IF\ YOU'RE\ USING\ A\ \nCOMPUTER\ TO\ DO\ IT.\ BECAUSE\ YOU'RE\ STLL\ HUMAN,\ AND\ THE\ PERSON\ YOU'RE\ \nATTACKING\ IS\ STILL\ HUMAN,\ AND\ YOU\ BOTH\ STILL\ HAVE\ MINDS\ AND\ FEELINGS.\n%\nPS3\ is\ shaping\ out\ to\ be\ a\ true\ status\ symbol\ for\ those\ who\ are\ very\ well\ \noff.\ I\ earn\ a\ salary\ reaching\ 75k\ per\ year\ and\ that's\ without\ my\ annual\ \nbonus.\n\nI'll\ be\ getting\ three\ PS3\ systems\ (two\ for\ back\ up\ purposes).\ The\ games\ are\ \nrumoured\ to\ be\ locked\ \$89\ and\ upwards\ for\ each\ copy.\ The\ software\ price\ is\ \nexpected\ to\ never\ go\ down\ over\ time\ ending\ the\ practice\ of\ consumers\ waiting\ \nfor\ prices\ to\ fall.\ Each\ system\ can\ not\ play\ used,\ rented,\ or\ borrowed\ games.\n\nHaving\ said\ that,\ this\ is\ a\ dream\ come\ true.\ This\ is\ a\ true\ fan\ system\ for\ \nhardcore\ gamers\ only.\ No\ longer\ will\ I\ have\ to\ suffer\ being\ in\ the\ company\ \nof\ pretenders.\ Finally\ we'll\ have\ a\ system\ to\ be\ truly\ proud\ to\ say\ we\ own.\ \nJust\ like\ the\ Neo\ Geo,\ except\ successful.\n\nFor\ those\ poor\ people\ who\ cannot\ afford\ the\ ride,\ Microsoft\ and\ Nintendo\ \nwill\ accomodate\ your\ needs.\n\nFor\ the\ rest\ of\ us\ that\ understand\ that\ you\ get\ what\ you\ pay\ for...\ I\ reckon\ \nwe're\ going\ to\ be\ in\ for\ a\ ride\ of\ our\ life.\n\nCount\ on\ it.\n%\nYes,\ Firefox\ is\ for\ people\ who\ like\ one\ tab\ to\ use\ 75\ MB\ of\ memory,\ since\ \nsome\ people\ like\ it\ when\ apps\ take\ advantage\ of\ memory\ installed\ in\ their\ \nsystem\ instead\ of\ having\ 800\ MB\ sitting\ there\ doing\ dick-all.\n%\nLook\ at\ that\ little\ string\ of\ text\ between\ my\ screenname\ and\ personal\ pic.\ \nSee\ that?\ That's\ living\ proof\ that\ I\ donated\ some\ of\ my\ own\ money\ to\ help\ \nget\ these\ boards\ up.\ Because\ I\ love\ these\ boards.\ And\ you\ know\ what\ you\ just\ \ndid?\ You\ just\ wasted\ a\ handful\ of\ bandwith\ and\ database\ storage\ space\ to\ \npost\ that\ uncannily\ awful\ waste\ of\ an\ attempt\ at\ an\ insult.\ In\ a\ sense,\ you\ \njust\ wasted\ a\ fraction\ of\ my\ money.\ See\ that\ it\n%\nWhen\ my\ parents\ were\ tight\ on\ cash,\ I\ attempted\ to\ save\ money\ on\ our\ water\ \nbill\ by\ pissing\ in\ the\ sink,\ and\ shitting\ on\ paper\ plates\ and\ dumping\ them\ \nin\ the\ field\ behind\ our\ house.\n%\nMy\ nephew\ used\ to\ work\ as\ a\ waiter\ in\ a\ seafood\ restaurant.\ And\ we\ all\ know\ \nhow\ niggers\ love\ \"skrimps\".....well,\ there\ was\ a\ huge\ nigger\ family\ one\ day\ \nand\ they\ shared\ meals\ (typical)\ as\ well\ as\ ordering\ water\ as\ their\ drinks.\ \nWhen\ they\ finally\ finished\ their\ meals,\ my\ nephew\ walked\ over\ to\ the\ huge\ \nmess\ on\ the\ table.\ They\ stiffed\ him\ on\ the\ tip\ ,\ and\ lo\ and\ behold\ EMPTY\ \nKOOL-AID\ PACKETS\ !!!!!\ The\ niggers\ made\ their\ own\ Kool-Aid\ with\ the\ water\ \nand\ sugar\ on\ the\ table.\ I\ couldn't\ believe\ my\ ears...but\ then\ \nagain............TNB\n%\nWell,\ \$600\ will\ buy\ you\ a\ fair\ amount\ of\ fish\ and\ will\ feed\ a\ bunch\ of\ \npeople\ once.\ However,\ you\ could\ also\ buy\ a\ PS3\ and\ SimFishing\ then\ invite\ \nall\ the\ starving\ over\ to\ have\ a\ competitive\ game\ and,\ in\ the\ process,\ teach\ \nthem\ how\ to\ fish\ which\ is\ infinitely\ more\ valuable.\n%\nHI!\ ANY\ 1\ HERE\ WAN\ 2\ CHAT??I\ AM\ 13/F/BRASIL\ KEKEKEJUZ\ LOOKIN\ FOR\ SUM1\ 2\ TALK\ \n2.NO\ OLD\ GUYSDATS\ GROSS!!!GOT\ 2\ SEND\ PIX\ 2\ GET\ PIXNO\ PRIVATESTHATS\ GROSS\ \nTOO!PLZ\ /MSG\ ME\ 4\ CHATim\ actually\ a\ 52\ year\ old\ balding\ port-a-let\ cleaner\n%\nEat\ shit,\ you\ greasy\ pacifist\ hippies.\ I\ am\ sick\ to\ death\ of\ the\ ludicrous\ \nanti-American\ ravings\ of\ you\ pissed-off\ geeks.\ Do\ you\ really\ believe\ the\ \nrest\ of\ us\ don't\ see\ right\ through\ your\ mental\ pathology?\ Your\ entire\ \npolitical\ philosophy\ boils\ down\ to\ this:\ \"The\ cool\ kids\ picked\ on\ me\ in\ high\ \nschool,\ and\ I\ can't\ get\ over\ it.\ I\ hate\ America\"\n%\nWhy\ cant\ the\ indians\ be\ like\ the\ blacks,\ coming\ to\ america\ in\ white-owned\ \nships\ to\ do\ our\ work\ because\ we're\ too\ lazy\ to\ do\ it.\ Those\ cheap\ ass\ \nindians\ hoofed\ it\ across\ some\ hippy\ nature\ bridge\n%\nI\ see\ what\ you\ are\ trying\ to\ do\ and\ I\ advise\ you\ to\ stop\ at\ once.\ \ You\ may\ \nthink\ your\ Mr.\ Slick\ and\ that\ you\ have\ some\ kind\ of\ advantage\ over\ me\ in\ \nthis\ situation\ but\ you\ couldn't\ be\ further\ from\ the\ truth.\ Just\ because\ you\ \ngot\ a\ higher\ score\ on\ the\ SAT\ does\ not\ mean\ that\ you\ are\ intellectually\ \nsuperior\ to\ me.\ I\ have\ 3\ degrees\ in\ physics\ and\ biomedical\ engineering\ and\ I\ \njust\ can�t\ believe\ that\ you\ try\ and\ pull\ something\ like\ this\ over\ on\ me.\ Now\ \nstop\ acting\ like\ you�re\ the\ king\ shit\ and\ remove\ that\ cock\ from\ my\ ass\ \nimmediately.\ It�s\ my\ turn.\n%\nI\ like\ to\ give\ my\ self\ paper\ cuts\ on\ the\ head\ of\ my\ cock.\ Then\ have\ \nferocious\ sex\ to\ feel\ the\ burn.\ Think\ about\ your\ breathing\n%\nI\ get\ off\ on\ sticking\ my\ dick\ into\ house\ hold\ appliances.\ one\ day\ i\ put\ it\ \nin\ a\ blender,\ i\ was\ really\ drunk.\ When\ i\ woke\ up\ in\ the\ hospital\ my\ forskin\ \nwas\ gone\ and\ they\ had\ to\ put\ in\ 50+\ stiches.\ Needless\ to\ say,\ i\ enjoyed\ it\ \nthoroughly.\n%\nWhy\ is\ the\ idea\ of\ laying\ in\ the\ bathtub\ for\ an\ entire\ day,\ naked,\ pissing\ \nand\ shitting\ and\ ejaculating,\ and\ being\ just\ filthy,\ seem\ so\ appealing?\n%\nOh,\ Brad\ Pitt?\ I\ don't\ see\ what's\ so\ good\ about\ this\ old\ dude.\ He\ doesn't\ \nhave\ half\ the\ charm\ of\ what\ I\ got.\ Lol,\ I\ know\ for\ sure\ women\ are\ attracted\ \nto\ him\ because\ of\ his\ material\ wealth.\ Look\ at\ all\ these\ hideous,\ butt-ugly\ \nrich\ motha\ f*ckas\ and\ how\ many\ women\ go\ chasing\ after\ them.\n\nI'm\ just\ tired\ of\ all\ the\ shallow\ people,\ I\ have\ never\ met\ somebody\ as\ deep\ \nas\ me.\ All\ my\ friends\ and\ girls\ I've\ been\ with\ never\ think\ like\ I\ do.\ Well,\ \nbaby,\ I\ got\ a\ spiritual,\ physical,\ and\ mental\ treasure\ just\ waiting\ to\ be\ \ndiscovered\ right\ here.\ I'm\ like\ a\ comet\ in\ the\ sky,\ passing\ you\ by,\ \nvanishing\ like\ the\ twilight\ at\ night.\ You've\ got\ to\ hop\ on\ the\ train\ before\ \nit's\ too\ late,\ it's\ like\ the\ chance\ of\ a\ lifetime.\ .\n\nBy\ the\ way,\ to\ whatever\ asked\ me\ why\ I\ was\ on\ this\ forum...\ Let\ me\ tell\ you\ \nthis,\ man.\ I've\ come\ here\ to\ learn\ more\ about\ astrophysics\ not\ ASStroholes.\ \nDo\ you\ feel\ me?\ There's\ no\ fear\ as\ long\ as\ your\ vision\ is\ crystal-clear.\n%\nAlso,\ what�s\ with\ posting\ your\ own\ blog\ to\ digg?\ �Hey,\ I\ shamlessly\ \nadvertise\ my\ own\ ridiculous\ existance\ on\ the\ intarweb!\ Please\ blogroll\ me\ \nand\ dl\ my\ podcast!�\n%\nwhy\ dont\ animated\ gifs\ come\ with\ sound\ :(\n%\ni\ brush\ my\ teeth\ standing\ up.\ i\ also\ like\ to\ pee\ or\ shit\ standing\ up\ while\ \ndoing\ so.\ sometimes\ i\ spit\ backwash\ on\ my\ penis\ and\ let\ it\ dry.\ it\ looks\ \nlike\ that\ one\ time\ i\ slept\ over\ my\ uncle's\ house.\ oh\ btw\ i\ live\ in\ the\ \nfreshman\ dorms.\ room\ 310.\ stop\ by\ and\ see\ me\ sometime.\n%\nI\ am\ officer\ David\ Green,\ badge\ no.\ 1039283\ you\ are\ in\ violation\ of\ \nIntellectual\ Property\ and\ High\ Technology\ Technical\ Amendments\ Act\ of\ 2002,\ \nDivision\ C,\ Title\ III,\ Subtitle\ B\ of\ the\ 21st\ Century\ Department\ of\ Justice\ \nAppropriations\ Authorization.\ I\ must\ ask\ that\ you\ cease\ and\ desist\ \nimmediately\ if\ not\ we\ will\ take\ action\ and\ contact\ the\ server\ that\ this\ site\ \nis\ on\ and\ force\ them\ to\ give\ us\ your\ ip,\ and\ we\ will\ then\ contact\ your\ ISP\ \nwhich\ will\ lead\ us\ to\ you.\ This\ is\ a\ very\ real\ and\ very\ serious\ threat.\ \nRemove\ the\ link\ immediately.\ This\ is\ your\ one\ and\ only\ warning.\n%\nPoop\ is\ mostly\ shades\ of\ brown\ or\ yellow,\ but\ other\ colors\ can\ arise\ under\ \ncertain\ circumstances.\ For\ example,\ someone\ with\ a\ bleeding\ ulcer\ might\ have\ \ntarry\ black\ poop\ from\ the\ presence\ of\ partially\ digested\ blood.\ Bleeding\ in\ \nthe\ intestine,\ from\ an\ anal\ fissure\ or\ split,\ for\ example,\ can\ stain\ the\ \npoop\ red.\ Bloody\ poop\ can\ also\ be\ a\ sign\ of\ colon\ cancer,\ so\ you\ should\ get\ \nit\ checked\ out\ by\ a\ doctor\ if\ you\ see\ blood\ in\ your\ stool.\ Some\ illnesses\ in\ \nbabies\ gives\ them\ green\ or\ even\ blue-green\ poop.\ But\ another\ source\ of\ blue\ \npoop\ in\ children\ is\ more\ innocent:\ it\ can\ come\ from\ eating\ a\ concentrated\ \nsource\ of\ blue\ food\ coloring\ such\ as\ ice\ cream.\ Intense\ red\ food\ coloring\ \ncan\ produce\ bright\ red\ poop.\ Sometimes\ brightly\ colored\ foods\ pass\ through\ \nthe\ gut\ almost\ unchanged,\ and\ the\ turd\ may\ be\ speckled\ with\ bright\ red\ \nfragments\ such\ as\ pimentos,\ or\ bright\ yellow\ kernels\ of\ corn.\n%\nI\ converted\ so\ easily.\ Just\ this\ morning,\ my\ nostrils\ were\ sneering\ at\ a\ \nmurky\ glass\ of\ bladder-beverage\ that\ I\ poured\ out\ of\ my\ penis.\ \"Do\ it,\"\ I\ \nscolded\ myself.\ \"Transcend\ the\ stench\;\ it's\ cheaper\ than\ aspirin.\"\ Boldly,\ I\ \nchugged\ three\ gulps\ of\ my\ piddle\ --\ yeech!\ My\ esophagus\ bucked\ \ndisagreeably...\ My\ pee\ is\ too\ hot\ and\ salty!\ It's\ icky!\n%\nI'm\ extremely\ liberal,\ yet\ I\ don't\ mind\ the\ government\ getting\ involved\ in\ \nour\ personal\ lives\ in\ order\ to\ keep\ us\ safe\ from\ terrorism.\ I'm\ also\ ok\ with\ \nracial\ profiling.\n%\nYou\ obviously\ know\ little\ about\ what's\ being\ talked\ about.\ We'll\ see,\ and\ \nI'll\ quote\ you\ later\ when\ you're\ proven\ wrong.\n%\nI\ eat\ exclusively\ from\ the\ following\ list\ of\ 12\ foods:\ Almonds/nuts,\ \nBerries,\ Oats/whole\ grain\ cereal,\ vegetables\ (especially\ green\ leafy),\ Beans\ \nand\ Legumes,\ Nonfat\ Dairy\ products,\ Eggs,\ Lean\ Meats\ (especially\ turkey),\ \npeanut\ butter,\ olive\ oil,\ Whey\ protein,\ and\ Whole\ Grain\ Bread\ (which\ falls\ \nunder\ oats/cereals).\ My\ colon\ is\ immaculate,\ and\ my\ bowel\ movements\ are\ \nenormous,\ dense,\ and\ dry\ as\ a\ biscuit.\n%\nI've\ been\ using\ IRC\ for\ years\ now,\ I\ love\ it,\ it\ is\ one\ of\ the\ best\ chat\ \nprograms\ on\ the\ internet\n%\nSex\ is\ a\ beautiful\ thing\ and\ it\ should\ not\ be\ restricted\ to\ certain\ age\ \nlimits.\ It\ should\ be\ enjoyed\ by\ old\ people\ right\ down\ to\ toddlers.\ And\ why\ \nnot?\ Yeah,\ I\ hear\ the\ jokes\ about\ Catholic\ priests.\ But\ people\ should\ just\ \nshut\ the\ fuck\ up\ and\ let\ others\ explore\ the\ deep,\ mysterious\ cave\ that\ is\ \nSEX.\ I\ mean,\ don't\ knock\ it\ until\ you\ try\ it.\ Don't\ say\ it's\ bad\ until\ \nyou've\ had\ your\ stiff\ PENIS\ shoved\ so\ far\ up\ a\ childs\ tight\ little\ pussy,\ \nyou\ cant\ say\ shit.\n%\nSomeone\ from\ the\ ip\ address\ \"66.103.132.86\"\ has\ been\ performing\ port\ scans\ \nand\ other\ malicious\ things\ on\ my\ computer\ such\ as\ DoS\ attempts\ and\ intrusion\ \nattempts\ wich\ in\ turn\ has\ made\ my\ internet\ speed\ drop\ because\ this\ person\ is\ \ndoing\ it\ so\ much\ and\ it\ is\ just\ destroying\ my\ bandwidth.\ Please\ tell\ them\ to\ \nstop.\ No,\ actually,\ force\ them\ to\ stop.\nThis\ e-mail\ address\ showed\ up\ when\ I\ back\ traced\ the\ IP\ address\ and\ \npreformed\ a\ whois\ search\ on\ it.\ If\ you\ are\ not\ responsible\ for\ the\ actions\ \nof\ this\ person,\ please\ ignore\ this\ e-mail.\ If\ nothing\ is\ done\ about\ it,\ keep\ \nthis\ in\ mind:\ I'm\ a\ 15\ year\ old\ hacker\ with\ alot\ of\ time\ on\ my\ hands.\ \nTherefore,\ if\ you\ don't\ stop\ this\ person,\ I\ will.\ I\ just\ thaught\ I\ would\ go\ \nabout\ it\ the\ right\ way\ before\ I\ did\ anything.\n%\nYo\ what\ kinda\ chili\ u\ into?\ I'm\ all\ about\ the\ Green\ Serrano,\ Red\ Serrano,\ \nCayenne,\ Datil,\ Dried\ Red\ Serrano,\ Ancho,\ Francisca,\ Scotch\ Bonnet,\ New\ \nMexican,\ Banana,\ Savinas,\ Pimento,\ BrilliantStars,\ Poblano,\ Red\ Thai,\ Hot\ \nWax,\ Dried\ New\ Mexican,\ Jalepeno,\ Dearbol,\ Tepin,\ Habanero,\ Aji-Amarillo,\ \nBell,\ Dundicut,\ Tequilla,\ Tien-Tsin,\ Hungarian,\ Tabasco,\ Piquin\ chillis\ and\ \ndon't\ forget\ the\ Crazy\ Chilli\ too!\n%\nMy\ d20\ is\ carved\ out\ of\ a\ solid\ piece\ of\ pure\ onyx\ with\ ruby\ inlet\ numbers.\ \ \nIt\ was\ valued\ at\ over\ \$2000.\ \ It\ has\ an\ operating\ system\ (made\ by\ Microsoft)\ \nthat\ automatically\ seeks\ out\ any\ other\ d20s\ on\ the\ table\ and\ crushes\ them.\ \ \nAnything\ larger\ than\ a\ d20,\ laser\ shoot\ out\ and\ destroy\ that\ useless\ piece\ \nof\ plastic.\ \ It\ can\ track\ a\ pewter\ figure\ from\ 1.3\ miles\ away.\ \ DMs\ fear\ my\ \nd20\ because\ it\ allows\ me\ to\ cheat\ without\ much\ effort.\ \ I\ simply\ say\ \"roll\ a\ \n20\"\ and\ it\ does.\ \ All\ other\ d20s\ are\ obsolete.\n%\nwhen\ you\ make\ love\ to\ a\ pregnant\ lady,\ you\ get\ a\ hand\ job\ from\ her\ baby,\ \ncold\ rubbin'\ it\ makin'\ it\ crazy,\ till\ I'm\ leakin'\ out\ all\ my\ man\ gravy\ ohh\ \nyeah\n%\nY0\ what\ kind\ of\ crimes\ u\ into?\ im\ all\ about\ a\ plan\ to\ kidnap\ a\ person\ /\ rape\ \nthem\ /\ torture\ them\ /\ kill\ them\ /\ cutting\ off\ da\ head\ /\ drain\ da\ body\ of\ \nblood\ /\ rape\ da\ corpse\ /\ eat\ da\ corpse\ /\ dispose\ of\ da\ organs\ and\ bones\ /\ \nfinish\ ff7\n%\nThe\ fish\ I\ buy\ are\ only\ the\ finest\ sushi-grade\ specimens\ raised\ in\ the\ \npristine\ nurseries\ of\ Fuji-ura\;\ a\ lake\ of\ pure\ rainwater\ which\ has\ lay\ \nhidden\ for\ millenia\ in\ a\ lush,\ sun-drenched\ crater\ atop\ Mt.\ Fuji.\ Go\ back\ to\ \nyour\ newspaper-wrapped\ already\ dead\ for\ 12\ hours\ vulcanized\ supermarket\ \nfish.\ I\ wouldn't\ be\ caught\ dead\ with\ that\ filth\ in\ my\ immaculate\ kitchen.\n%\nThanks\ for\ noticing,\ for\ getting\ an\ on\ topic\ first\ post\ I\ was\ bitch\ slapped\ \ninto\ karma\ oblivion.\ At\ least\ two\ people\ with\ mod\ points\ went\ back\ and\ \nknocked\ down\ all\ my\ previous\ posts\ to\ -1\ with\ trolls,\ off\ topics\ and\ \nredundants.\ I\ was\ banned\ form\ posting\ for\ twenty-four\ hours\ and\ I'm\ not\ \nallowed\ to\ meta-moderate\ anymore:(\ There\ some\ mean\ people\ on\ /.\n%\nWould\ you\ like\ my\ resume?\ I\ write\ code\ in\ everything\ from\ mainframe\ COBOL\ on\ \nOS/360-OS/390\ systems\ (OS/VS\ COBOL,\ MVS\ COBOL,\ etc)\ to\ C/C++\ and\ Java.\ I\ \nthink\ I\ know\ what\ the\ hell\ I'm\ talking\ about,\ nerd.\ Have\ you\ visited\ my\ \ncorporation's\ website?\ Feel\ free\ to\ read\ the\ article\ about\ me.\ It's\ on\ the\ \nfront\ page.\ Do\ you\ have\ some\ more\ inane\ nerd\ blather,\ or\ is\ it\ time\ for\ some\ \nTotinos?\ I\ thought\ so.\n%\nI'm\ a\ truck\ driver\ and\ would\ love\ to\ meet\ other\ transgendered\ truckers\ and\ \nwould\ love\ to\ meet\ any\ Lady\ truckers\ that\ enjoy\ being\ with\ a\ transvestites.\n%\nevery\ guy\ i\ hook\ up\ with\ ends\ up\ getting\ AIDS.\ i\ tested\ positive\ for\ HIV,\ so\ \ni\ think\ it\ was\ me.\ sorry\ guys,\ but\ maybe\ you\ should\ think\ before\ blaming\ it\ \nall\ on\ me.\ you\ could\ have\ at\ least\ used\ those\ STD\ testers\ on\ me\ first,\ so\ \ndont\ act\ like\ its\ all\ my\ fault.\ but\ anyways,\ sorry.\n%\nYes,\ perhaps\ embracing\ your\ status\ as\ a\ social\ misfit\ will\ allow\ you\ to\ \nappear\ \"edgy\"\ and\ \"cool\"\ as\ you're\ going\ through\ the\ pile\ of\ dirty\ clothes\ \non\ your\ floor\ desparately\ looking\ for\ anything\ that\ isn't\ encrusted\ with\ \neither\ microwave\ burrito\ glop\ or\ your\ rancid\ dried\ semen\n%\nI\ played\ diablo\ for\ like\ 12\ hours\ straight\ on\ my\ couch,\ slowly\ sliding\ into\ \na\ position\ that\ was\ almost\ parallel\ with\ the\ floor.\ At\ some\ point\ I\ realized\ \nmy\ head\ was\ the\ only\ part\ of\ me\ still\ on\ the\ couch,\ and\ I\ decided\ that\ was\ a\ \nretarded\ way\ to\ sit,\ but\ by\ that\ point\ I\ couldn't\ move.\ I\ fell\ over\ and\ \ndropped\ my\ laptop.\ My\ back\ was\ spasming\ so\ bad\ I\ almost\ pissed\ myself.\ In\ a\ \nvain\ attempt\ to\ alleviate\ the\ pain\ I\ crawled\ into\ the\ shower\ and\ turned\ on\ \nblasting\ hot\ water.\ That\ was\ no\ help,\ but\ it\ did\ soak\ my\ tshirt.\ After\ 15\ \nminutes\ of\ crying\ on\ the\ bathroom\ floor\ wearing\ a\ soaked\ and\ freezing\ tshirt\ \nI\ found\ a\ pair\ of\ scissors\ in\ a\ droor\ and\ cut\ the\ shirt\ off.\ I\ passed\ out\ \nfrom\ pain\ in\ a\ bunch\ of\ dirty\ towels\ and\ q-tips.\ Never\ felt\ anything\ like\ \nthat,\ not\ before\ and\ not\ after.\ Awful.\n%\nHey\ girl,\ what\ kind\ of\ irc\ chatters\ r\ u\ into?\ I'm\ into\ pimply\ overbearing\ \nmisfits,\ power-mad\ failures\ with\ an\ axe\ to\ grind,\ faceless\ idlers,\ 'Zany'\ \nwannabees,\ creepy\ pedophiles,\ dickless\ unix\ freaks,\ shit-eating\ mac\ users,\ \nclueless\ windoze\ faggots,\ 'professional'\ web\ designers,\ legally\ blind\ php\ \ncoders\ with\ herpes,\ geriatric\ lechers\ on\ social\ security,\ gun\ nuts\ on\ \nfederal\ disability,\ and\ ambitionless\ retards\ working\ the\ night\ shift.\n%\nMy\ name\ is\ Paul.\ If\ my\ name\ were\ to\ be\ used\ in\ a\ function\ it\ would\ used\ as\ \nsuch.\ Paul\ >\ You.\ I'm\ an\ investment\ banker.\ I\ am\ scared\ of\ daylight,\ so\ I\ \nstay\ indoors\ until\ 2am.\ I\ order\ in\ all\ my\ meals\ not\ because\ I\ like\ eating\ \ntake\ out\ on\ a\ daily\ basis,\ but\ because\ I\ am\ so\ excited\ to\ get\ back\ to\ work\ \nand\ look\ at\ my\ multiple\ lcd\ screens\ with\ spreadsheets\ open\ all\ over\ the\ \nplace.\ Casual\ friday\ means\ I\ can\ roll\ up\ my\ sleeves,\ but\ I\ don't\ because\ I\ \ndon't\ want\ to\ wrinkle\ my\ custom\ tailored\ shirts\ I\ buy\ from\ Bergdorf\ Goodman.\ \nI\ like\ to\ get\ my\ shoes\ shined\ multiple\ times\ a\ week,\ not\ because\ I\ want\ them\ \nto\ look\ clean\ and\ shiny,\ but\ because\ everyone\ who\ is\ line\ can\ admire\ my\ \nalligator\ gucci\ loafers\ that\ cost\ more\ than\ their\ LCD\ TV.\ I\ like\ business\ \ncards,\ so\ I\ can\ hand\ you\ one\ and\ you\ can\ hand\ me\ one,\ if\ yours\ looks\ cooler\ \nyou\ better\ be\ careful\ or\ you\ will\ end\ up\ like\ Paul\ Allen\ on\ American\ Psycho,\ \nbut\ that\ probobly\ wouldn't\ happen\ because\ yours\ says\ marketing\ \nrepresentative,\ or\ senior\ sales\ associate\ and\ mine\ says\ investment\ banker.\ I\ \nsometimes\ wish\ I\ had\ a\ life\ outside\ of\ the\ fast\ lane,\ but\ who\ the\ hell\ wants\ \nto\ drive\ slow?\ If\ our\ lives\ were\ cars\ I'd\ be\ the\ 911\ turbo\ and\ you'd\ be\ the\ \nTaurus\ or\ the\ Civic\ SI\ (for\ those\ of\ you\ gunners).\ I\ like\ to\ look\ at\ people\ \nand\ smile\ and\ nod,\ not\ because\ I'm\ a\ nice\ or\ friendly\ guy,\ but\ because\ they\ \nare\ just\ another\ person\ that\ I\ passed\ in\ the\ race\ called\ life.\ I\ flaunt\ \nmoney\ because,\ that's\ the\ only\ thing\ I\ have\ that\ you\ don't\ have.\ You\ \nprobobly\ have\ free\ time,\ a\ life,\ hobbies\ etc.\ I\ have\ money.\ Money\ can't\ buy\ \nhappiness,\ but\ it\ can\ buy\ whatever\ the\ Fuck\ I\ want.\n%\nA\ buddy\ of\ mine\ actually\ had\ both\ of\ his\ computers\ confiscated\ by\ the\ FBI.\ \nApparently\ someone\ had\ spoofed\ his\ IP\ (or\ maybe\ hacked\ into\ his\ wirless)\ and\ \nmade\ a\ whole\ bunch\ of\ fraudulent\ purchases.\ About\ 8\ months\ later,\ the\ FBI\ \ndecided\ to\ give\ him\ his\ computers\ back?\ with\ all\ his\ fursona's\ files\ \nmysteriously\ deleted.\ This\ is\ an\ outrage.\n%\nI\ was\ stuck\ in\ traffic\ one\ day\ and\ just\ kinda\ thought\ it\ would\ be\ funny\ to\ \nmasturbate.\ It\ was\ sunny\ and\ clear\ out,\ so\ I\ was\ worried\ one\ of\ the\ other\ \ndrivers\ would\ see\ me,\ but\ my\ jeep\ is\ pretty\ high\ off\ the\ ground,\ so\ I\ think\ \nno\ one\ noticed.\ I\ busted\ a\ nut\ and\ aimed\ it\ down,\ ruining\ my\ tweety\ bird\ \nfloor\ mat.\ I\ felt\ kinda\ stupid\ after\ and\ my\ mom\ kept\ silent\ the\ rest\ of\ the\ \ndrive\ home.\ It\ was\ awkward\ and\ I\ regret\ it.\n%\nI\ wish\ that\ i\ was\ Vegeta\ from\ dragonball\ z.\ Once\ while\ stoned\ i\ tried\ to\ do\ \na\ kamehameha\ and\ im\ sure\ my\ hands\ got\ hot.\ Im\ planning\ on\ picking\ a\ fight\ \nand\ while\ the\ adrenaline\ is\ flowing,\ im\ going\ to\ turn\ super\ saiyan\ and\ \npunish\ my\ opposition.\ Goku\ is\ stronger\ but\ Vegeta\ is\ cooler,\ im\ 38\ with\ two\ \nkids....\ my\ kids\ are\ weaklings,\ my\ wife\ left\ me\ and\ i\ like\ the\ way\ womans\ \nshoes\ make\ my\ calves\ look.\n%\nearlier\ tonight\ i\ went\ into\ chat\ and\ no\ one\ spoke\ to\ me.\ i\ don't\ know\ what\ \ni've\ done\ to\ anyone...but\ i\ guess\ whatever\ it\ is..it\ was\ enough\ for\ people\ \nto\ stop\ talking\ to\ me.\ some\ may\ think\ 'well,\ it's\ just\ chat...right?'.\ well\ \nunfortunately,\ chat\ is\ all\ i\ have.\ the\ only\ friends\ i\ have\ are\ online.\n%\nThree\ guesses\ as\ to\ who\ was\ asked\ to\ leave\ the\ Starbucks\;\ oh,\ and\ told\ \"not\ \nto\ come\ back\"\ with\ my\ \"hateful\ rhetoric\".\ True\ enough,\ I\ just\ said\ I\ hate\ \nniggers\;\ but\ the\ problem\ is,\ everything\ I\ said\ WAS\ TRUE!\n%\nI\ am\ the\ world's\ foremost\ expert\ on\ sticking\ people's\ treasured\ items\ into\ \nmy\ urethra.\ \ I\ have\ 'gauged'\ it\ to\ the\ point\ where\ I\ can\ almost\ wedge\ a\ \npiece\ of\ celery\ in\ there,\ though\ no\ one\ treasures\ celery.\ \ If\ anyone\ can\ \nbeat\ this,\ I'd\ like\ to\ suck\ their\ dick!\n%\ni\ like\ my\ urls\ like\ i\ like\ my\ women...dirty\ and\ mangled\n%\nThe\ message\ is\ pretty\ clear.\ Whenever\ two\ sheep\ herding\ white\ guys\ get\ \ntogether,\ they\ allow\ their\ animal\ instincts\ to\ take\ over\ and\ they\ buttfuck\ \neach\ other\ and\ fall\ in\ love.\ Then,\ they\ live\ a\ lie\ and\ sneak\ out\ repeatedly\ \nto\ hook\ up\ and\ fuck\ each\ other's\ asses\ until\ they\ bleed.\ Then\ the\ wives\ find\ \nout\ and\ divorce\ them.\ Or,\ the\ dumb\ ass\ bimbos\ dont\ know\ that\ their\ husbands\ \ntry\ on\ their\ clothers\ while\ they\ are\ away.\ The\ cinetography\ was\ beautiful\ \nthe\ soundtrack,\ etc.\ But\ the\ message\ (written\ by\ a\ chink)\ is\ still\ one\ of\ \ndeception,\ love,\ and\ faggotry.\ Sorry.\n%\nThere\ is\ no\ doubt\ that\ white\ boys\ do\ play\ video\ games\ well.\ Having\ been\ run\ \noff\ the\ football\ field,\ basketball\ court,\ and\ track\ by\ more\ athletic\ black\ \nboys,\ white\ boys\ retreat\ to\ their\ computers\ and\ video\ games.\ Unfortunately,\ \nthis\ only\ makes\ their\ unathletic\ bodies\ weaker,\ thus\ seriously\ harming\ their\ \nconcept\ of\ masculinity\ and\ making\ them\ social\ outcasts\ with\ females.\n%\nDid\ you\ know?\ \ The\ origins\ of\ the\ tooth\ fairy\ date\ back\ to\ the\ early\ 1800s.\ \ \nAccording\ to\ linguist\ and\ accredited\ historian\ Michael\ Quinion,\ the\ \"Toothe\ \nFaerie\"\ was\ first\ documented\ in\ 1825,\ when\ dental\ hygiene\ was\ beginning\ to\ \ngain\ momentum\ due\ to\ studious\ work\ of\ the\ \"father\ of\ dental\ hygiene\",\ Alfred\ \nC.\ Fones.\ \ Fones\ solicited\ young\ boys\ for\ --\ at\ first\ innocent,\ but\ \nincreasingly\ violent\ --\ oral\ sodomy\ in\ exchange\ for\ their\ freshly\ uprooted\ \nteeth,\ in\ some\ cases\ having\ been\ recorded\ as\ persuading\ youths\ to\ perform\ \nthese\ acts\ of\ love\ shortly\ after\ the\ dental\ work.\ \ Over\ the\ course\ of\ his\ \ncareer,\ unbeknownst\ to\ local\ authorities,\ Fones\ began\ to\ encourage\ large\ \namounts\ of\ subsequent\ generations\ of\ virginial\ youths\ to\ procure\ payment\ in\ \naddition\ to\ these\ sexual\ favors\ in\ order\ to\ retrieve\ their\ dislodged\ teeth,\ \nthereby\ setting\ an\ example\ for\ burgeoning\ homosexual\ men\ of\ all\ ages\ to\ \ncome.\ \ Due\ to\ the\ local\ vernacular\ of\ the\ time,\ the\ good\ doctor's\ casual\ \ntitle\ \"Magister\ Dentali\"\ was\ eventually\ replaced\ with\ our\ more\ modern\ \ncolloquialism\ once\ enough\ of\ the\ population\ had\ become\ familiar\ with\ the\ \ntale.\n%\nDid\ You\ Know?\ After\ maintaining\ a\ vow\ of\ silence\ for\ almost\ 7\ years,\ Red\ Hat\ \nLinux\ founder\ Marc\ Ewing\ now\ freely\ admits\ that\ he\ named\ Red\ Hat\ Linux\ after\ \nLimp\ Bizkit\ frontman\ Fred\ Durst's\ trademark\ red\ New\ York\ Yankees\ baseball\ \ncap.\nDurst\ and\ Ewing\ met\ in\ Ewing's\ hometown\ of\ Raleigh,\ North\ Carolina\ (Durst\ \nwas\ raised\ in\ Gastonia,\ NC),\ where\ they\ became\ fast\ friends,\ sharing\ the\ \nsame\ passion\ for\ low-level\ system\ programming.\nDurst\ collaborated\ with\ Ewing\ on\ the\ first\ preview\ beta\ of\ Red\ Hat\ Linux\ \nbefore\ the\ demands\ of\ his\ rocketing\ stardom\ forced\ him\ to\ abandon\ his\ hobby\ \nand\ tour\ with\ his\ band.\nDurst's\ position\ on\ the\ development\ team\ was\ filled\ by\ Damien\ Neil,\ and\ not\ \nmany\ know\ of\ his\ contribution\ to\ the\ popular\ Linux\ distribution\;\ however,\ a\ \ngoogle\ search\ through\ the\ source\ code\ on\ Redhat.com\ \n(http://www.google.com/search?q=wfd+site:redhat.com)\ reveals\ many\ snippets\ \nof\ code\ authored\ by\ 'wfd',\ Durst's\ initials\ (William\ Frederick\ Durst).\nDurst\ asked\ Ewing\ to\ keep\ his\ 'geeky'\ roots\ a\ secret\ as\ it\ would\ not\ lend\ \nitself\ to\ Durst's\ bad\ boy\ image,\ but\ as\ Ewing\ points\ out,\ it\ was\ \"only\ a\ \nmatter\ of\ time\"\ before\ the\ origins\ of\ his\ NASDAQ-100\ company's\ name\ were\ \nuncovered.\n%\nIf\ you\ listen\ to\ all\ of\ the\ cds\ that\ ICP\ has\ put\ out,\ and\ really\ put\ some\ \nthought\ into\ what\ ICP\ is\ saying\ on\ them,\ there\ are\ some\ very\ strong\ \nreferences\ to\ all\ things\ biblical.\ I\ mean\ you're\ really\ gonna\ hafta\ look\ \npast\ all\ of\ the\ \"chicken\ huntin\"\ and\ things\ like\ that.\ It's\ not\ really\ like\ \nthe\ D.C.\ is\ its\ OWN\ religion,\ its\ more\ like\ it\ follows\ Christianity\ very\ \nheavily.\ As\ far\ as\ the\ shangri-la\ (heaven),\ The\ Great\ Milenko\ (the\ devil),\ \nand\ things\ of\ that\ nature,\ all\ stand\ for\ different\ aspects\ of\ the\ Bible.\ I\ \ndunno,\ im\ kinda\ babbling\ here,\ so\ perhaps\ if\ i\ refer\ you\ to\ a\ web\ page\ \nyou'll\ understand\ more.\n%\nAt\ the\ age\ of\ about\ 5,\ in\ the\ bath,\ I\ was\ playing\ with\ my\ lego\ men,\ jungle\ \nanimals,\ duplo\ etc.\ I\ needed\ to\ pass\ wind,\ so\ i\ did\ (with\ a\ little\ effort)\ \nsatisfied,\ I\ returned\ to\ playing\ with\ my\ toys.\ I\ reached\ for\ the\ black\ \ngorilla\ king\ of\ the\ jungle\ and\ brought\ it\ up\ to\ my\ face,\ only\ to\ find\ it\ was\ \nmy\ shit.\n%\nok,\ I\ know\ i'm\ married\ with\ kids\ but\ there\ is\ this\ chick\ at\ work\ who\ totally\ \nflirts\ with\ me\ all\ the\ time.\ She's\ not\ into\ me\ or\ anything\ but\ she\ totally\ \nflirts\ with\ me.\ I\ don't\ exactly\ not\ flirt\ back,\ and\ I\nfantasize\ about\ her\ all\ the\ time.\ nothing\ will\ happen\ between\ us\ because\ i'm\ \nsuch\ a\ pussy.\ oh\ yah,\ shes\ 6\ years\ old\n%\nOne\ time\ I\ offered\ my\ diabetic\ friend\ some\ reeses\ pieces,\ which\ he\ refused,\ \nsaying\ he\ would\ get\ sick.\ I\ assured\ him\ that\ he\ would\ be\ fine\ and\ he\ gobbled\ \nup\ a\ whole\ handful\ without\ getting\ sick\ at\ all.\ The\ next\ day\ he\ asked\ me\ \nwhere\ he\ could\ get\ more\ of\ this\ special\ treat,\ and\ I\ told\ him\ that\ he\ had\ \nnot\ eaten\ candy\ at\ all,\ but\ rather\ \"feces\ pieces\".\n%\nHeh.\ Don't\ you\ guys\ know\ that\ arguing\ on\ the\ internet\ is\ like\ participating\ \nin\ the\ special\ olympics?\ Even\ if\ you\ win,\ you're\ still\ retarded.\ In\ fact,\ \nthere's\ an\ image\ out\ there\ on\ this\ interweb\ of\ ours\ that\ conveys\ this\ \nmessage\ perfectly...\n%\nhave\ you\ ever\ been\ squatting\ down\ and\ just,\ you\ know,\ tucked\ in\ your\ neck,\ \nyou\ know?\ and\ closed\ your\ eyes?\ and\ then\ put\ your\ forehead\ down\ on\ the\ \nground,\ you\ know?\ and\ then\ you\ know,\ leaned\ forward\ a\ little\ bit,\ you\ know,\ \nshifted\ your\ weight?\ and\ then\ just\ lifted\ your\ posterior\ up\ in\ the\ air,\ \npushed\ hard,\ you\ know,\ and\ watched\ yourself\ take\ a\ gigantic\ shit\ on\ another\ \nman's\ chest?\ man,\ there\ should\ really\ be\ a\ name\ for\ doing\ this.\n%\npick\ on\ me\ thru\ a\ monitor,\ i\ doubt\ it\ would\ happen\ in\ rl\n%\nI\ know\ Africa\ has\ its\ own\ internet\ connection..\ buncha\ niggers\ with\ mailbags\ \nrun\ around\ for\ email..\ Tech\ Support\ is\ like\ shakalakuzulu\ kuntakente\ cheifs\ \nthat\ speek\ jigabooese\n%\nSince\ you\ like\ looking\ at\ women,\ I\ think\ it's\ about\ time\ you\ get\ your\ cherry\ \nbusted.\ Yes,\ you\ need\ to\ get\ laid.\ Nursing\ homes\ are\ full\ of\ old\ hotties\ \nthat\ would\ be\ willing\ to\ give\ their\ all\ to\ please.\ Since\ they\ are\ mostly\ in\ \nwheelchairs,\ they\ don't\ even\ have\ to\ kneel.\ Think\ about\ it,\ dude!\ In\ fact,\ \nthink\ about\ those\ wrinkled,\ diapered\ old\ women\ every\ time\ you\ wank.\ Think,\ \nvisualize,\ wrinkled\ dry\ pussy,\ depends,\ gums\ only,\ shit\ breath,\ saggy\ \ntits........\n%\nThis\ is\ why\ it\ is\ so\ tough\ for\ Microsoft\ to\ break\ into\ the\ Japanese\ market.\ \nThey\ have\ a\ different\ mentality.\ THe\ Japanese\ have\ a\ more\ demure\ way\ of\ \ndoing\ business.\ They\ always\ strive\ for\ honor\ in\ all\ that\ they\ do.\n%\nIs\ it\ politically\ correct\ on\ this\ list\ to\ trash\ Microsoft\ and\ show\ destain\ \nfor\ money?\ If\ so,\ I\ must\ protest.\ Microsoft\ is\ the\ best\ thing\ that\ ever\ \nhappened\ to\ computer\ users,\ ever.\ It\ will\ never,\ never\ be\ replaced\ by\ user\ \nunfriendly\ software\ like\ linux\ or\ TeX.\ Never.\n%\nno\ sooner\ had\ the\ last\ inch\ of\ snow\ fallen\ in\ New\ York\ when\ the\ blogosphere\ \ncame\ alive\ with\ myriad\ sepia\ filtered\ grainy\ photos\ of\ the\ wintry\ landscape,\ \nlong,\ disjointed\ poetry\ about\ the\ ruthlessness\ of\ mother\ nature,\ and\ \nhelpless\ nerds\ half-joking\ pleas\ for\ rescue\n%\ngirl\ i\ must\ be\ dick\ cheney\ because\ i\ want\ to\ fire\ my\ weapon\ into\ your\ back\n%\noh\ well,\ I'm\ smarter\ than\ almost\ everyone\ I\ ever\ met\ in\ my\ whole\ fucking\ \nlife,\ so\ I'm\ not\ worried\ about\ my\ filthy\ habits\ heh\n%\nSecond-best\ sex?\ Tell\ that\ to\ a\ Linux\ programmer\ who's\ got\ a\ slice\ of\ pizza\ \nin\ one\ hand,\ his\ hideously\ empurpled\ member\ in\ the\ other\ and\ a\ Natalie\ \nPortman\ tribute\ website\ firmly\ plastered\ across\ Firefox...\n%\nChinese/Korean/Japanese\ don't\ look\ alike.\ If\ you\ think\ they\ are\ alike\ then\ I\ \nguess\ all\ white\ people\ are\ the\ same\ too.\ You\ dumb\ crackers.\n%\nI\ had\ a\ dream\ (nightmare\ really)\ last\ night\ that\ the\ coffee\ industry\ in\ \nSouth\ America\ was\ hit\ by\ a\ blight\ that\ made\ all\ coffee\ toxic\ which\ caused\ \ndeath\ for\ anyone\ who\ drank\ a\ cup.\ \ The\ entire\ Web\ 2.0\ startup\ scene\ crashed\ \nand\ the\ bubble\ popped.\ Flock\ went\ under\ and\ Yahoo\ stopped\ buying\ everyone.\ \nNot\ fun.\n%\nOokles?\ I\ don't\ know\ but\ it's\ Web\ 2.0\ compliant\ and\ has\ a\ nice\ prototype.js\ \ntransition\ when\ you\ register\ for\ their\ private\ beta.\n%\nBy\ the\ way,\ I've\ seen\ you\ play\ DDR\ in\ real\ life.\ You\ didnt\ know\ I\ was\ a\ \ngoon,\ but\ I\ was\ there.\ Watching.\ Waiting.\ Planing.\n%\nI\ like\ to\ take\ a\ toothbrush\ and\ stick\ it\ in\ my\ anus.\ I\ get\ into\ the\ shower\ \nand\ sit\ up\ straight\ so\ that\ it\ gets\ as\ deep\ as\ possible.\ This\ feels\ great\ \nand\ there\ is\ no\ pain.\ Then\ you\ can\ jack\ off\ and\ move\ up\ and\ down\ just\ like\ \nyou?re\ riding\ a\ real\ cock.\ It\ feels\ GREAT!\n%\nFuck\ all\ authority\ figures\ of\ any\ type.\ Now\ instead\ of\ hearing\ the\ song\ and\ \nletting\ it\ pass\ by\ you\ I\ think\ we\ should\ all\ rise\ against\ and\ do\ somin\ about\ \nauthority.....\ and\ they\ can\ feel\ the\ rage\ of\ OUR\ generation!!!!!!!!!!!!!\n%\nlol\ no\ 1\ has\ 1\ that\ they\ will\ give\ out\ to\ even\ members\ here\ i\ doubt\ ud\ get\ 1\ \ni\ cant\ find\ 1\ and\ iv\ been\ looking\ over\ a\ month\ every\ hour\ ..\ u\ gota\ look\ \nmaby\ ull\ find\ 1\ or\ learn\ to\ make\ i\ tried\ and\ failed\ so\ i\ dono\ wht\ to\ say\ but\ \nu\ wont\ get\ 1\ im\ sure..\ thats\ just\ hwo\ it\ is\ i\ wish\ i\ had\ 1\ my\ self\n%\nILYAZAYUZIN.......HAHAHAHA...FIRST\ OFF\ TELL\ ME\ WHERE\ IV'E\ BEEN\ PRAISING\ \nVANILLA\ ICE.\ SECONDLY\ STOP\ ACTING\ LIKE\ A\ RETARD\ INTERNET\ THUG\ AND\ GET\ OFF\ 2\ \nPAC'S\ NUTSACK\ YOU\ 15\ YEAR\ OLD\ WANNABE\ WANKSTA.GO\ LISTEN\ TO\ YOUR\ BONE\ THUGS\ \nAND\ HARMONY\ WHILE\ I\ STICK\ SOME\ 7L\ AND\ ESOTERIC\ ON\ YOU\ CHUMP!!!!!PEACE\ TO\ THE\ \nREAL\ UNDERGROUND\ HEADS!\n%\nI'm\ usually\ at\ the\ club\ on\ Sunday\ night,\ and\ they\ will\ have\ Adult\ Swim\ \nplaying\ on\ the\ TVs\ behind\ the\ bar.\ Having\ Boo-Boo\ Runs\ Wild\ on\ at\ the\ exact\ \ntime\ every\ Sunday\ gives\ me\ a\ good\ visual\ clue\ that\ the\ night\ is\ starting\ to\ \nrun\ its\ course,\ and\ that\ I\ should\ make\ it\ my\ last\ round\ so\ that\ I'll\ be\ \nsober\ enough\ to\ drive.\ (So\ I\ can\ get\ home\ and\ watch\ the\ night's\ lineup\ as\ I\ \ntaped\ it.)\n%\nIn\ stark\ terms,\ Wikipedia\ is\ one\ of\ the\ single\ most\ important\ undertakings\ \nin\ human\ history.\ If\ we\ do\ our\ job,\ future\ generations\ will\ look\ upon\ \nWikipedia\ as\ the\ cornerstone\ of\ the\ information\ revolution.\ If\ we\ don't,\ the\ \nworld\ will\ lose\ a\ tremendous\ resource.\ This\ is\ why\ we\ need\ to\ keep\ the\ jews\ \nout.\n%\nYou're\ a\ huge\ assblaster.\ You're\ like\ one\ huge\ slimey\ smelly\ rocket,\ flying\ \nthrough\ space\ at\ speeds\ unknown\ to\ man,\ and\ shooting\ off\ fumes\ which\ \nslightly\ resemble\ broccoli\ and\ rotted\ meat.\ But\ it's\ ok,\ because\ your\ \nflaccid\ asscheeks,\ worn\ from\ shits\ that\ rival\ the\ titantic\ herself,\ will\ \nmake\ up\ for\ the\ kinetic\ energy\ lost\ from\ your\ inefficient\ use\ of\ the\ natural\ \ngas\ the\ infinitely\ spews\ from\ your\ cum-filled\ stomach.\n%\nMeth\ is\ the\ shortest\ word\ in\ the\ English\ language\ one\ can\ lisp\ while\ drunk\ \nand\ underage\ at\ a\ gay\ bar.\ It\ can\ therefore\ be\ no\ surprise\ that\ homosexual\ \nmales\ have\ congregated\ around\ the\ substance\ since\ its\ inception.\ For\ every\ \nmeth\ mouth,\ there\ is\ an\ equal\ and\ opposite\ meth\ dick.\n%\nFound\ you\ folks\ by\ accident...decided\ that\ underground\ should\ actually\ mean\ \nunderground...although\ pop-up\ occur\ from\ time-to-time.\ The\ revolution\ will\ \nbe\ VOIPed\ AND\ blogged.\n%\nI\ hope\ I\ never\ have\ to\ hear\ any\ of\ these\ cosplay\ slangs\ ever\ at\ a\ \nconvention.\ \ Anime\ Iowa\ is\ a\ place\ to\ have\ fun\ and\ to\ enjoy\ being\ surrounded\ \nby\ fellow\ fans.\ \ Not\ a\ place\ to\ treat\ other\ fans\ in\ a\ superior\ fashion.\ \ \n*Most\ of\ us\ experienced\ or\ are\ experiencing\ this\ in\ highschool*\n%\nAnd\ yeah,\ I\ didn't\ want\ to\ get\ into\ this,\ either.\ It's\ just\ that\ I'm\ fucking\ \nsick\ to\ death\ of\ furs\ bagging\ on\ other\ furs\ just\ to\ blow\ up\ their\ own\ egos.\ \nThis\ is\ what\ the\ real\ problem\ is\ in\ the\ fandom\ that\ \"gives\ us\ a\ bad\ rep\".\ \nWhile\ we're\ all\ squabbling\ over\ stupid\ lil\ mediocre\ differences\ like\ \nchildren\ on\ a\ playground,\ the\ rest\ of\ the\ world\ thinks\ we're\ all\ a\ bunch\ of\ \nskunk\ fuckers\ anyways.\ It's\ all\ very\ inane.\n%\nI\ hear\ you\ brought\ a\ prepubescent\ kid\ to\ a\ \"FurBQ\"\ event\ a\ while\ back.\ I\ \nwonder\ that\ that\ kid's\ guardians\ would\ think\ if\ they\ knew\ the\ things\ you\ \njerked\ off\ over,\ or\ that\ you\ get\ an\ erection\ mentally\ undressing\ kids\ you\ \nsee\ on\ the\ street.\ I\ wonder\ what\ people\ at\ your\ job\ would\ think,\ or\ what\ \nyour\ parents\ would\ think.\ Maybe\ you\ should\ wonder\ those\ things\ too.\n%\nI\ disagree\ with\ the\ software\ \"Fruity\ Loops\"\ on\ the\ grounds\ that\ only\ 50%\ or\ \nless\ of\ the\ musicians\ that\ use\ this\ software\ are\ actually\ homosexual.\ I\ \nthink\ they\ need\ to\ either\ change\ the\ name\ of\ the\ software,\ or\ have\ some\ kind\ \nof\ provision\ in\ the\ EULA\ that\ you\ can\ only\ use\ it\ if\ you're\ gay.\ Stop\ faking\ \nthe\ funk\ already.\n%\nI\ used\ to\ watch\ Dragon\ Ball\ Z,\ and\ it\ was\ cool,\ and\ Transformers\ is\ awesome\ \ntoo.\ But\ one\ thing\ I\ never\ got\ about\ anime\ is\ why\ do\ they\ have\ big\ eyes?\ \nIt's\ from\ Japan,\ that\ should\ mean\ small\ eyes.\n%\nI've\ had\ sex\ with\ a\ dinosaur,\ horse,\ sheep\ and\ cow\ in\ my\ dreams\n%\nAnyone\ who\ has\ taken\ Linguistics\ 101\ and\ actually\ paid\ attention\ would\ be\ \nwell\ aware\ that\ English\ uses\ no\ subjunctive\ tense.\ \ For\ you\ see,\ gerunds\ and\ \nparticiples\ aren't\ tenses,\ my\ friend.\ \ As\ much\ as\ I\ enjoy\ your\ witticisms\ \nand\ laughably\ incorrect\ \"facts\",\ I'd\ prefer\ that\ you\ research\ it.\n%\nHey\ gurl\ what\ u\ into?\ I'm\ all\ about\ the\ blunt\ force\ injuries\ with\ no\ blood\ \nand\ resulting\ in\ blood\ on\ body\ and\ clothing,\ blood\ splattering\ from\ wounds,\ \ndeath\ with\ eyes\ open,\ cutting\ injuries\ with\ no\ blood,\ screaming\ in\ pain\ and\ \nresulting\ in\ blood\ on\ body,\ severed\ limbs,\ blood\ spurting\ from\ wounds,\ \nentrails\ seen,\ and\ death.\n%\nI\ was\ watching\ myself\ everynight.\ Eventually\ I\ found\ myself\ very\ attractive,\ \nand\ I\ finally\ realized\ my\ ability\ to\ make\ her\ love\ me.\ So\ I\ raped\ her.\ But\ I\ \nlater\ found\ she\ was\ a\ slut\ since\ she\ didn't\ want\ to\ marry\ me.\ So,\ I\ raped\ \nher\ again.\ I\ think\ she\ loves\ me\ now.\n%\nWhat\ kind\ of\ anime\ u\ into?\ I'm\ all\ about\ the\ Inu\ yasha,\ saiyuki,\ get\ \nbackers,\ spiral,\ furuba,\ you're\ under\ arrest,\ soul\ hunter\ (houshin\ engi),\ \ntokyo\ underground,\ samurai\ deeper\ kyo,\ flame\ of\ recca,\ mirage\ of\ blaze,\ gate\ \nkeepers,\ real\ bout\ high\ school,\ street\ figter,\ fatal\ fury,\ dnAngel,\ \ngravitation,\ yami\ no\ matsuei,\ theif\ and\ detective,\ prince\ of\ tennis,\ \njuvenile\ orion,\ aporipha0,\ orphen,\ angelic\ layer,\ shama\ pita\ ten,\ kaiken\ \nphrase,\ FAKE,\ himiko\ den,\ kiddy\ grade,\ lost\ universe,\ slayers,\ burn\ up\ W,\ \nfor\ you\ in\ full\ blossoms,\ fushigi\ yuugi,\ gundam\ wing,\ yuyu\ hokushou,\ hunter\ \nx\ hunter,\ sakura\ wars,\ cardcaptor\ sakura,\ tokyo\ babylon,\ magic\ knights\ \nrayearth,\ scrapped\ princess,\ infinite\ ryvius,\ witch\ hunter\ robin,\ mahou\ \nsenshi\ riui,\ Furi\ Kuri,\ gundam\ seed,\ vampire\ princess\ miyu,\ king\ of\ bandits\ \njing,\ rave,\ E's\ Ot\ Gojyo\ (saiyuki),\ Sanada\ Yukimura\ (samuria\ deeper\ kyo),\ \nHiroshi\ (gravitation),\ Inu\ yasha,\ Ban\ (get\ backers),\ Akabane\ (get\ backers),\ \nHeartia\ (orphen),\ Iori\ (King\ of\ Fighters),\ Taikoubo\ (houshin\ engi),\ Kyou\ \n(furuba),\ Kazuma\ (scryed),\ Larva\ (vampire\ princess\ miyu),\ Shigure\ (furuba),\ \nKen\ (weiss\ kreuz),\ Dark\ (dnAngel),\ Kurama\ (yuyu\ hakushou),\ Akabane\ (get\ \nbackers),\ Touga\ (utena),\ Shido\ (nightwalker),\ Ryuhou\ Quatre\ (gundam\ wing),\ \nAmon\ (witch\ hunter\ robin),\ Michael\ (witch\ hunter\ robin),\ Riui\ (mahou\ senshi\ \nriui),\ Shido\ (nightwalker),\ Jing\ (king\ of\ bandits\ jing),\ Yuuki\ (e's\ \notherwise\",\ Kai\ (e's\ otherwise),\ Eagle\ (magic\ knights\ rayearth),\ Clef\ (maigc\ \nknights\ rayearth),\ Enba\ (wildrock),\ Ken\ (Mata\ Natsu\ ga\ Kita),\ Haru\ (rave),\ \nMagica\ (rave)\n%\nI\ have\ a\ cat\ trap\ in\ my\ back\ yard\ and\ its\ pretty\ fun\ to\ check\ the\ cage\ on\ a\ \nfriday\ night\ and\ choke\ a\ cat\ to\ death\ while\ you\ are\ half\ snapped.\ sometimes\ \nill\ even\ follow\ up\ with\ a\ jerk\ session\ and\ blow\ my\ semen\ all\ out\ on\ a\ dead\ \npussy.\ ohh\ yeah.\n%\ndude...listen...pretty\ much\ evry\ one\ hate\ him\ and\ microsoft,\ sure\ he's\ given\ \nus\ some\ computer\ crap\ who\ cares,\ its\ all\ crap,\ i\ hate\ windows\ so\ much,\ its\ \nthe\ crapyest\ piece\ of\ shit\ ever,\ i\ want\ linux!\n%\nEveryone\ who\ has\ had\ sex\ and\ said\ it\ wasn't\ that\ great\ are\ people\ who\ have\ \nonly\ had\ sex\ with\ people\ they\ don't\ really\ care\ about.\ It's\ disappointing\ to\ \njust\ stick\ your\ dick\ in\ any\ girl,\ but\ if\ it's\ a\ childhood\ friend\ or\ your\ \ndaughter,\ it's\ so\ much\ better.\n%\nIf\ your\ daughter\ listens\ to\ hip\ hop\ music,\ you\ should\ caution\ her\ against\ \ntaking\ MDMA,\ commonly\ known\ as\ ecstasy\ if\ she\ plans\ to\ go\ to\ hip\ hop\ \nconcerts\ or\ hip\ hop\ clubs.\ As\ everyone\ knows,\ when\ you\ add\ E\ to\ rap,\ you\ get\ \nRAPE.\n%\nHello.\ I\ have\ a\ girlfriend.\ She\ has\ long\ orange\ hair\ which\ she\ wears\ with\ \nhairpins.\ She\ never\ removes\ her\ hairpins\ as\ they\ are\ worn\ in\ memory\ of\ her\ \nbrother\ while\ her\ hair\ is\ worn\ long\ in\ honor\ of\ the\ promise\ Tatsuki\ once\ \nmade\ to\ protect\ her.\ One\ of\ my\ girlfriend's\ more\ distinct\ characteristics\ is\ \na\ large\ bust.\n%\nBefore\ I\ dropped\ out\ of\ college,\ I\ strove\ to\ be\ as\ different\ from\ everyone\ \nelse\ as\ I\ could\ be,\ reading\ manga\ and\ blasting\ JPOP\ music\ in\ my\ car.\n%\nSo,\ I\ met\ this\ fat,\ skanky\ nigger\ bitch\ who\ wanted\ to\ fuck\ me,\ 'cause\ she'd\ \nnever\ had\ a\ white\ man.\ I\ said\ sure,\ took\ her\ home\ and\ got\ her\ all\ hot\ and\ \nbothered.\ Then\ I\ hit\ her\ over\ the\ head\ with\ a\ crowbar.\ Just\ before\ she\ lost\ \nconscienceness,\ I\ told\ her\ I'd\ never\ defile\ my\ white\ cock\ on\ a\ nigger\ ape\ \nand\ shit\ in\ her\ face.\ Then\ I\ beat\ her\ to\ death\ with\ the\ crowbar.\ I\ ground\ \nher\ carcass\ up\ in\ a\ meat\ grinder\ and\ made\ nigger\ patties.\n%\nUmmmm....you\ are\ trying\ to\ equate\ \"ratings\"\ for\ fucking\ PODCASTS\ with\ that\ \nof\ TV?\ Even\ digital\ cable\ TV?\ A\ Podcast\ is\ a\ big\ hit\ with\ a\ few\ thousand\ \ndownloads.\ 99%\ of\ hte\ wolrd\ doesn't\ gie\ a\ fuck\ about\ Podcasts.\ OK,\ maybe\ not\ \n99%,\ since\ the\ world\ is\ about\ 10%\ homosexual.\ But\ 100%\ of\ heterosexuals\ have\ \nNEVER\ listened\ to\ a\ podcast,\ or\ read\ a\ blog\ in\ their\ lives.\n%\nYou're\ really\ a\ failure\ at\ life,\ you're\ 290\ pounds,\ you've\ got\ horrible\ back\ \nhair,\ you\ sweat\ profusely,\ staining\ all\ your\ white\ clothes\ yellow,\ and\ \nyou've\ killed\ 3\ dogs\ by\ anal\ impaction.\n%\nLittle\ known\ fact:\ \"Chimney\ Sweeps\"\ from\ Dickensian\ literature\ actually\ did\ \nnot\ clean\ chimneys\ in\ a\ literal\ sense,\ as\ soot\ would\ take\ centuries\ to\ build\ \nup\ to\ the\ point\ where\ airflow\ in\ a\ typical\ chimney\ was\ obstructed.\ Instead\ \nthese\ young\ boys\ were\ paid\ for\ performing\ analingus\ on\ as\ many\ as\ 30\ wealthy\ \ngentlemen\ per\ day.\n%\nWhen\ I\ masterbate\ I\ fantasize\ about\ strange\ things.\ Like\ shitting\ in\ other\ \npeoples\ mouths\ while\ I\ watch\ them\ slowly\ drown\ in\ quicksand.\ I\ wish\ I\ wasn't\ \nso\ fucked\ up.\ What's\ worse\ is\ that\ seems\ like\ the\ only\ way\ I\ can\ get\ off.\n%\nThe\ average\ man's\ body\ in\ this\ country\ is\ an\ absolute\ embarrassment.\ Mother\ \nNature\ has\ got\ to\ be\ ashamed.\ The\ average\ man\ is\ a\ flabby,\ frail\ mess\ of\ a\ \njoke,\ a\ complete\ and\ utter\ mockery\ of\ a\ physical\ sham.\ The\ average\ man\ is\ \nfeeble,\ fat\ and\ functionless.\ The\ only\ time\ he\ ever\ moves\ his\ engorged,\ \nslovenly\ body\ is\ when\ he\ shoves\ another\ slice\ of\ pizza\ down\ his\ throat,\ \nscratches\ his\ ass\ or\ belches\ out\ the\ national\ anthem.\n%\nMy\ data\ are\ extrusively\ and\ exclusively\ sorted,\ indexed,\ and\ metaindexed.\ My\ \nindices\ are\ stored\ and\ accessed\ on\ a\ plethora\ of\ nodes\ over\ an\ ultra\ high\ \nbandwidth\ optical\ pipe\;\ any\ item\ of\ data\ in\ my\ vast\ collection\ is\ instantly\ \naccessible\ by\ myself\ from\ anywhere\ on\ the\ planet.\ Go\ back\ to\ bubble\ sorting\ \nyour\ recipe\ card\ database.\ You\ cannot\ possibly\ compare\ with\ me.\ Good\ day.\n%\nSo\ I'm\ sitting\ at\ my\ xterm\ in\ KDE\ hacking\ some\ kernel\ code,\ and\ this\ bitch\ \ncomes\ up\ to\ me\ and\ says\ \"Do\ you\ know\ which\ of\ these\ computers\ runs\ Windows?\"\ \nWell\ that\ did\ it.\ I\ flipped\ up\ my\ shades\ and\ looked\ her\ straight\ in\ the\ eye\ \nand\ said\ \"Fuck\ no\ I'm\ open\ source\ bitch\".\ I\ picked\ up\ my\ 10\ lb\ IBM\ Model\ M\ \nkeyboard\ and\ said\ \ \"I\ can\ kick\ your\ ass\ at\ 120wpm\"\ and\ broke\ it\ over\ the\ \ncunt's\ head.\ She\ dropped\ to\ her\ knees\ and\ I\ kicked\ the\ jewel\ case\ out\ of\ her\ \nhand\ and\ into\ her\ teeth.\ Next\ I\ grabbed\ her\ by\ the\ neck\ and\ said\ \"How's\ your\ \nuptime\"\ before\ suplexing\ her\ backward\ through\ the\ air\ and\ into\ the\ server\ \nroom.\ Some\ smoke\ that\ smelled\ like\ burning\ hair\ started\ to\ drift\ out\ so\ I\ \njumped\ on\ my\ razor\ scooter\ and\ rode\ off\ into\ the\ sunset.\n%\nHello.\ I\ am\ interested\ in\ various\ things,\ which\ include:\ Finding\ out\ your\ \nreal\ life\ info(s),\ prank\ calling\ you\ every\ day,\ stealing\ your\ IRC\ \nnickname(s),\ and\ finding\ flaws\ in\ your\ website\ (i.e.\ loading\ popups,\ etc).\n%\ngirl,\ i\ must\ be\ cervical\ cancer\ because\ i'm\ totally\ eating\ your\ pussy\n%\nFurcism\ is\ just\ as\ bad\ a\ racism\ jackass,\ if\ you\ dont\ have\ anything\ \nintelligent\ to\ say\ shut\ the\ fuck\ up....\ Obviously\ furry\ is\ in\ demand\ if\ the\ \nmod\ created\ a\ board\ for\ it,\ therefore\ he\ needs\ to\ fix\ the\ link,\ and\ you\ can\ \njust\ avoid\ it\ with\ your\ furcist\ ass.\ Geez\ im\ getting\ tired\ of\ lil\ pricks\ \nsaying\ stupid\ shit.\ May\ a\ tiger\ eat\ your\ entrails.....\n%\nMy\ Fleshlight\ massages\ my\ penis\ at\ a\ rate\ of\ 2700\ RPMs\ and\ feels\ like\ 250\ \npreteen\ girls\ giving\ me\ a\ handjob\ simultaneously.\ \ It's\ encrusted\ with\ \nflawless\ 36\ karat\ conflict\ diamonds\ straight\ from\ the\ heart\ of\ Africa.\ \ It's\ \npowered\ by\ an\ experimental\ plutonium\ alloy\ battery\ and\ has\ a\ constant\ \nrun-time\ of\ well\ over\ 3\ years.\ \ It\ has\ 4\ settings,\ as\ opposed\ to\ yours\ which\ \nhas\ only\ 2\ settings\ (on\ and\ off).\ \ No\ other\ fabricated\ orifice\ can\ compare\ \nto\ my\ Fleshlight.\n%\nwoke\ up\ around\ 3pm\ pretty\ hung\ over\ -\ i\ got\ a\ new\ pair\ of\ jeans\ they\ are\ the\ \nbrand\ wild\ ass\ which\ is\ pretty\ good\ has\ alot\ of\ places\ to\ stash\ shit\ like\ \nknives,hammers\ leathermens\ drank\ a\ pot\ of\ coffee\ and\ read\ the\ drudge\ report\ \nand\ huffington\ post\ sat\ outside\ near\ some\ fresh\ dog\ shit\ and\ smoked\ 5\ \ncigerettes\ as\ my\ dogs\ barked\ at\ me\ put\ on\ my\ boots\ and\ off\ we\ fucking\ go\ to\ \nclean\ out\ the\ swamp\ coolers\ of\ rich\ college\ kids\ who\ live\ a\ block\ from\ the\ \ncampus\ -\ you\ gota\ first\ get\ on\ the\ roof\ then\ you\ unlatch\ these\ metal\ clamps\ \non\ all\ corners\ then\ fuckin\ valium\ hits\ you\ hard\ you\ undo\ the\ belt\ so\ it\ \ndoesnt\ break\ w/\ frost\ bite\ -\ then\ you\ drain\ the\ water\ out\ of\ them\ and\ turn\ \noff\ electricity\ and\ water\ routing\ to\ the\ swamp\ coolers\ -\ any\ one\ of\ you\ \nfucking\ fucks\ out\ there\ with\ a\ swamp\ cooler\ your\ gona\ die\ some\ day\ fucking\ \ndisgusting\ you\ stash\ some\ shit\ up\ there\ like\ a\ piegeon\ or\ a\ wasps\ nest\ n\ let\ \nit\ soak\ and\ blow\ fuckin\ air\ and\ whatever\ the\ fuck\ i\ let\ into\ your\ swamp\ \ncooler\ soak\ in\ your\ room\ -\ you\ better\ fuckin\ belive\ it\ if\ i\ sweep\ up\ anymore\ \ncig\ butts\ outside\ the\ f\ uckin\ final\ fantasy\ soundtrack\ lovin\ fuckin\ failed\ \nfrat\ boys\ yard\ im\ gona\ put\ a\ bag\ of\ kimchee\ and\ chicken\ grease\ fuckin\ sars\ \nin\ his\ face\ and\ ass\ from\ sucking\ the\ wind\ of\ the\ d\ -\ low\ blood\ sugar\ valium\ \nand\ a\ hang\ over\ i\ fuckin\ put\ the\ shit\ back\ together\ as\ hot\ fuckin\ college\ \nass\ walks\ by\ constantly\ so\ i\ start\ to\ head\ down\ off\ the\ roof\ theres\ a\ sort\ \nof\ ledge\ then\ a\ fence\ then\ the\ ground\ -\ but\ then\ i\ see\ into\ one\ of\ the\ \nneighbors\ yards\ and\ it\ looks\ like\ a\ sort\ of\ stable?\ so\ i\ kinda\ jumped\ from\ \nthe\ roof\ into\ their\ yard\ but\ my\ boots\ fuckin\ get\ stuck\ on\ the\ rain\ gutter\ \nand\ i\ flip\ forward\ face\ into\ the\ wall\ upside\ down\ kidna\ fall\ back\ onto\ the\ \nfloor\ it\ smells\ really\ bad\ and\ the\ pain\ is\ unbearable\ and\ i\ hear\ a\ sort\ of\ \nweird\ snorting\ sound\ the\ door\ to\ the\ stable\ is\ open\ and\ allthough\ im\ hurt\ \npretty\ bad\ nothing\ is\ broke\ -0\ i\ just\ sort\ of\ limp\ into\ the\ stable\ to\ see\ \nwhats\ up\ and\ theres\ this\ beutiful\ donkey\ there\ -\ a\ great\ ass/mule\ im\ not\ \nsure\ what\ kind\ of\ breed\ it\ was\ but\ it\ wsa\ really\ friendly\ and\ let\ me\ pet\ its\ \nmane\ it\ said\ my\ leg\ would\ feel\ better\ soon\ cuz\ of\ the\ valium\ and\ i\ thought\ \nthat\ was\ funny\ i\ sorta\ sat\ down\ in\ the\ corner\ cuz\ of\ the\ leg\ pain\ and\ \nnoticed\ i\ was\ sitting\ in\ a\ pile\ of\ the\ donkeys\ shit\ -\ wet\ dry\ all\ together\ -\ \nmy\ wild\ ass\ jeans\ were\ soaked\ and\ there\ were\ flies\ everywhere\ -\ the\ pony\ \ndonkey\ thing\ just\ sort\ of\ looked\ at\ me\ and\ smiled\ like\ horses/donkeys/bears\ \ndo\ and\ i\ smiled\ back\ cuz\ wtf\ im\ allready\ pretty\ fucked\ so\ i\ start\ to\ stand\ \nup\ but\ the\ girafe\ sort\ of\ moves\ its\ ass\ so\ my\ head\ bumps\ into\ its\ really\ \ntoned\ ass\ -\ i\ cant\ help\ but\ notice\ that\ its\ massive\ cock\ is\ in\ fact\ a\ \ndonkeys\ vagina\ -\ i\ look\ up\ at\ her\ pretty\ pony\ face\ and\ she\ smiles\ back\ so\ i\ \njust\ dove\ into\ that\ pussy\ where\ you\ at\ dog\ you\ know\ what\ im\ saying\ -\ fist\ \ninto\ ass\ pushed\ in\ pretty\ far\ so\ i\ could\ feel\ around\ in\ the\ mule's\ stomach\ \nand\ slowly\ i\ felt\ that\ she\ had\ a\ sort\ of\ hernia?\ so\ i\ pushed\ a\ lil\ farther\ \n(my\ jacket\ was\ fucked\ at\ this\ point)\ and\ i\ found\ that\ the\ hernia\ let\ me\ push\ \nmy\ arm\ all\ the\ way\ through\ to\ her\ beutiful\ unicorn\ vagina\ for\ the\ first\ time\ \ni\ have\ fisted\ someone\ through\ both\ hinde\ sex\ cavities\ -\ but\ something\ \nspooked\ that\ old\ black\ man\ and\ he\ started\ to\ run\ with\ me\ attatched\ my\ \ngirlfriend\ who\ works\ with\ me\ on\ the\ landscaping\ saw\ me\ from\ over\ the\ wall\ \nand\ my\ arm\ slurped\ out\ of\ the\ small\ scotty\ dogs\ ass\ it\ was\ disgusting\ and\ \nembarrasing\n%\nI'm\ new\ to\ this\ channel,\ but\ I\ would\ just\ like\ to\ tell\ you\ that\ you\ are\ an\ \ninspiring\ individual.\ I\ appreciate\ your\ efforts.\ I'm\ not\ a\ pedophile\ myself,\ \nbut\ I\ happen\ to\ enjoy\ viewing\ lolicon\ on\ a\ regular\ basis,\ so\ I'm\ well\ aware\ \nof\ the\ prejudices\ you\ face.\ Never\ stop\ fighting\ for\ what\ you\ believe\ in.\n%\nGET\ TROOPS\ OUT\ OF\ IRAQ\ BUCK\ FUSH\ CONSERVATIVES\ ARE\ GAY\ NO\ BLOOD\ FOR\ OIL\ \nWRONG\ WAR\ WRONG\ PLACE\ WRONG\ TIME\ FRIENDS\ DONT\ LET\ FRIENDS\ VOTE\ REPUBLICAN\ \nBUSH&DICK:\ \ GOOD\ IN\ BED\ BAD\ IN\ DA\ WHITEHOUSE\ my\ brother\ raped\ me\ when\ i\ was\ 6\n%\nYou\ know,\ I\ find\ it\ hard\ to\ say\ that\ something\ that\ has\ freed\ 50\ million\ \niraqi\ people\ from\ oppression\ and\ death\ is\ a\ bad\ thing.\n%\nMy\ friend,\ I\ bet\ you\ haven't\ read\ the\ terms\ and\ conditions\ for\ this\ \nforum....\ Take\ cover,\ you\ are\ about\ to\ be\ flamed!\n%\nMy\ new\ XBOX\ 360\ controller\ is\ one\ out\ of\ ten\ collector's\ editions\ ever\ made.\ \nHandcrafted\ from\ a\ block\ of\ pure\ platinum,\ the\ buttons\ are\ various\ precious\ \nand\ semiprecious\ stones,\ expertly\ cut\ and\ polished\ to\ brilliance\ by\ noted\ \nJapanese\ philosopher\ and\ artisan\ Inazo\ Nitobe.\ It\ can\ operate\ in\ wireless\ \nmode\ from\ over\ 3km\ away,\ and\ the\ force\ feedback\ is\ powerful\ enough\ to\ slice\ \nthrough\ a\ four\ inch\ pane\ of\ glass.\n%\nWhile\ the\ argument\ does\ not\ really\ say\ much\ being\ on\ a\ PG-rated\ television\ \nprogram,\ Data\ never\ reveals\ his\ genital\ region\ on\ screen.\ This\ makes\ \nconfirmation\ fo\ genitals\ by\ direct\ examination\ impossible.\n%\nJapanese\ is\ such\ a\ sound\ poor\ language...\ it's\ impossible\ for\ them\ to\ say\ a\ \nlot\ of\ english\ sounds,\ LET\ ALONE\ German\ which\ is\ much\ more\ complex\ soundwise.\n%\nI\ think\ now\ is\ a\ good\ time\ to\ honor\ ourselves\ with\ some\ put-ups.\ You\ know,\ \ninstead\ of\ put-downs?\n%\nRather\ than\ being\ birthed\ like\ a\ normal\ child,\ Norris\ instead\ punched\ his\ \nway\ out\ of\ his\ mother's\ womb.\ Shortly\ thereafter\ he\ grew\ a\ beard.\ Before\ \nemail\ was\ invented\ Chuck\ Norris\ would\ attach\ messages\ to\ kittens\ and\ \nroundhouse\ kick\ them.\ The\ chief\ export\ of\ Chuck\ Norris\ is\ pain.\ Chuck\ \nNorris'\ tears\ cure\ cancer.\ Too\ bad\ he\ has\ never\ cried.\ When\ Chuck\ Norris\ has\ \nsex\ with\ a\ man,\ it\ is\ not\ because\ he\ is\ gay,\ but\ because\ he\ has\ run\ out\ of\ \nwomen.\ Chuck\ Norris\ does\ not\ have\ AIDS\ but\ he\ gives\ it\ to\ people\ anyway.\ \nChuck\ Norris\ has\ yet\ to\ get\ a\ Jeopardy\ question\ wrong.\ Jesus\ has\ missed\ two.\ \nChuck\ Norris\ sold\ his\ soul\ to\ the\ devil\ for\ his\ rugged\ good\ looks\ and\ \nunparalleled\ martial\ arts\ ability.\ Shortly\ after\ the\ transaction\ was\ \nfinalized,\ Chuck\ roundhouse\ kicked\ the\ devil\ in\ the\ face\ and\ took\ his\ soul\ \nback.\ The\ devil,\ who\ appreciates\ irony,\ couldn't\ stay\ mad\ and\ admitted\ he\ \nshould\ have\ seen\ it\ coming..\n%\nA\ plane\ is\ standing\ on\ a\ runway\ that\ can\ move\ (some\ sort\ of\ band\ conveyer).\ \nThe\ plane\ moves\ in\ one\ direction,\ while\ the\ conveyer\ moves\ in\ the\ opposite\ \ndirection.\ This\ conveyer\ has\ a\ control\ system\ that\ tracks\ the\ plane\ speed\ \nand\ tunes\ the\ speed\ of\ the\ conveyer\ to\ be\ exactly\ the\ same\ (but\ in\ opposite\ \ndirection).\nThe\ question\ is:\ Will\ the\ plane\ take\ off\ or\ not?\nThe\ answer:\ Yes!\nThe\ plane\ will\ take\ off\ if\ there\ is\ enough\ difference\ between\ the\ speed\ of\ \nthe\ air\ and\ the\ plane.\ The\ plane\ speed\ RELATIVE\ to\ the\ air\ speed\ over\ the\ \nwings\ is\ half\ that\ of\ the\ plane\ relative\ to\ the\ conveyor.\nBasically,\ it\ depends\ on\ how\ fast\ the\ conveyor\ moves,\ consequently\ how\ fast\ \nthe\ plane\ moves\ forward.\ If\ it\ reaches\ (about)\ 220\ mph,\ it\ will\ take\ off.\n%\nCarefull\ there\ friend,\ posting\ a\ blog\ message\ claiming\ that\ my\ users\ are\ not\ \nmature\ might\ just\ cause\ the\ masses\ to\ come\ over\ here\ and\ attack\ your\ site.\ \nNext\ thing\ you\ know,\ you\ will\ be\ dDOS\ attacked,\ and\ spammed\ in\ your\ comments\ \nsection.\n%\nDid\ You\ Know:\ As\ late\ as\ 1987,\ instruction\ booklets\ included\ in\ the\ classic\ \nParker\ Bros.\ board\ game\ \"Monopoly\"\ contained\ directions\ for\ appointing\ one\ \nplayer\ as\ \"The\ Jew\"?\ It\ was\ not\ until\ the\ early\ 90s\ that\ references\ to\ \"The\ \nJew\"\ were\ replaced\ by\ \"The\ Banker\"\ in\ all\ game\ packaging\ and\ accompanying\ \nmaterial.\n%\nHaha.\ Whatever.\ I'm\ in\ an\ animation\ college,\ and\ when\ I\ was\ in\ high\ school\ \ngirls\ used\ to\ BEG\ for\ picture\ from\ me,\ and\ it\ was\ the\ most\ attention\ I\ got\ \nin\ school.\ Now\ everyone\ draws\ so\ it's\ not\ a\ big\ deal.\ If\ someone\ compliments\ \nyou,\ take\ it,\ because\ chances\ are\ I'm\ better\ than\ you,\ and\ would\ mock\ you\ \nwhen\ you\ left\ the\ room.\n%\nI'm\ clicking\ your\ link,\ n00b,\ and\ nothing's\ happening.\ I'm\ clicking,\ bitch.\ \nWhat's\ supposed\ to\ happen,\ fag?\ I'm\ clicking\ and\ nothing's\ happening,\ \nfucktard.\n%\nI\ bet\ you\ think\ you're\ actually\ amusing.\ You\ were\ giggling\ to\ yourself\ as\ \nyou\ typed\ that\ line\ out,\ and\ are\ eagerly\ staring\ at\ your\ screen\ hoping\ that\ \nsomeone\ will\ give\ you\ a\ zany\ quip\ in\ reply.\ Go\ on,\ you\ can\ laugh.\ It's\ okay.\ \nJust\ remember\ that\ you're\ the\ only\ one\ who\ thought\ that\ comment\ was\ in\ any\ \nway\ entertaining.\n%\nI\ bet\ you\ think\ you're\ actually\ amusing.\ You\ were\ giggling\ to\ yourself\ as\ \nyou\ typed\ that\ post\ out,\ and\ are\ eagerly\ refreshing\ this\ thread\ in\ the\ hopes\ \nthat\ someone\ will\ give\ you\ a\ zany\ quip\ in\ reply.\ Go\ on,\ you\ can\ laugh.\ It's\ \nokay.\ Just\ remember\ that\ you're\ the\ only\ one\ who\ thought\ that\ post\ was\ in\ \nany\ way\ entertaining.\n%\nPresumably\ you're\ either\ joking,\ or\ you're\ not\ a\ web\ designer.\n%\nI'm\ very\ sorry\ to\ hear\ about\ your\ situation.\ I'll\ write\ a\ post\ about\ it\ on\ \nBlogSpot\ and\ Xanga.\ Maybe\ we\ can\ also\ start\ a\ social\ bookmark\ campaign\ to\ \nhighlight\ your\ story.\n%\nFor\ those\ who\ doubt\ the\ authenticity\ of\ these\ facts,\ note\ that\ I\ have\ a\ \ndoctorate\ in\ the\ Social\ Sciences\ from\ the\ University\ of\ Phoenix\ online,\ and\ \nI\ have\ over\ thirty\ volumes\ on\ the\ subject\ in\ print\ via\ on-demand\ internet\ \npublishing.\ Good\ day.\n%\nguns\ work\ like\ this\ -\ u\ buy\ the\ deagle\ at\ the\ spawn\ point\ and\ u\ get\ the\ \nheadshot\n%\ngirl\ i\ must\ be\ the\ u.s.\ senate\ because\ i'm\ totally\ rejecting\ your\ timetable\ \nfor\ withdrawal\ of\ my\ troops\n%\nThe\ government\ is\ too\ bureacratic\ and\ corrupt\ to\ accept\ the\ opinoin\ of\ an\ \naverage\ American.\ They\ don't\ care\ about\ us,\ and\ we\ shouldn't\ care\ about\ \nthem.\ We\ need\ a\ revolution\ right\ now.\ Start\ it\ with\ Linux.\ F**K\ the\ \ngovernment!\n%\nIt\ should\ be\ extrusively\ notated\ (and\ annotated)\ that\ my\ imago\ has\ been\ \nensnared\ in\ the\ viscosity\ of\ time.\ That\ is\ why\ my\ transcendent\ self\ has\ been\ \nimportuned\ (but\ not\ without\ resisting)\ despite\ the\ hydraulic\ pressure\ to\ \nlimitate\ and\ delineate\ those\ theotons\ (the\ untimely\ microscopic,\ particulate\ \nhydrole)\ whose\ essential\ god-like\ characteristics\ have\ been\ laminated\ into\ \nan\ irreducibly\ minisculate,\ atomized,\ and\ indeed\ lionized\ cannister.\ Such\ is\ \nthe\ enraptured\ entrapment\ of\ my\ condition.\n%\nBoo\ hoo!\ So\ their\ PROFITS\ are\ down.\ That\ only\ means\ they're\ not\ stealing\ as\ \nmuch\ from\ the\ poor.\ I\ call\ that\ a\ move\ in\ the\ right\ direction!\ Let's\ face\ it\ \nfolks!\ Companies\ only\ profit\ by\ exploiting\ the\ poor.\ The\ very\ existence\ of\ \npoverty\ is\ all\ the\ proof\ you\ need!\ What\ do\ they\ need\ all\ of\ that\ money\ for?\ \nThey\ have\ a\ civic\ duty\ to\ share\ their\ ill-gotten\ fortunes\ with\ the\ society\ \nthey\ exploit\ to\ create\ their\ riches.\ \ Companies\ should\ be\ forced\ to\ operate\ \nat\ a\ break-even\ limit.\ Any\ excess\ profit\ proves\ that\ they\ are\ charging\ too\ \nmuch\ for\ their\ product,\ and\ exploiting\ the\ poor.\ Such\ immoral\ profiteering\ \nshould\ be\ illegal!\ There\ are\ so\ many\ people\ that\ need\ that\ money\ more\ than\ \nthose\ greedy,\ racist\ executive\ robber-barons!\ The\ slavery\ must\ end,\ people!\ \nIf\ we\ don't\ stick\ up\ for\ the\ poor\ now,\ who\ will\ fight\ for\ us\ when\ it's\ OUR\ \nturn\ to\ be\ robbed?\n%\nI\ work\ for\ IBM.\nSo\ I\ am\ really\ getting\ a\ kick\ out\ of\ most\ of\ these\ replies.\nSome\ of\ you\ guys\ are\ very\ good\ at\ making\ it\ sound\ like\ you\ know\ what\ you\ are\ \ntalking\ about.\nBut\ trust\ me....\ You\ don't.\nI\ think\ you\ just\ want\ to\ make\ yourself\ sound\ smart,\ when\ in\ reality\ you\ dont\nknow\ what\ you\ are\ talking\ about.\nThis\ is\ how\ bad\ info\ gets\ passed\ around.\nIf\ you\ dont\ know\ about\ the\ topic....Don't\ make\ yourself\ sound\ like\ you\ do.\nCuz\ some\ Slashdotters\ belive\ anything\ they\ hear.\n%\nI\ am\ pleased\ to\ inform\ you\ that\ I\ am\ currently\ drinking\ pure\ nutrients\ and\ \ndense\ anti-oxidants\ in\ the\ form\ of\ fortified\ pomegranate\ nectar.\ During\ an\ \naverage\ meal\ I\ will\ drink\ no\ less\ than\ six\ liters\ of\ steeped\ oolong\ tea\ \nimported\ mere\ hours\ before\ from\ his\ Holiness\ the\ Dalai\ Lama's\ private\ \ngarden.\ In\ short,\ the\ ratio\ of\ free\ radicals\ in\ your\ bloodstream\ as\ compared\ \nto\ mine\ is\ immeasurably\ high.\ Good\ day.\n%\nI\ like\ to\ say\ these\ following\ words:\ 1.tit\ balls\ 2.penis\ nipples\ 3.doodie\ \npoopy\ 4.pickleweasle\ 5.testicle\ poop\ 6.shit\ whore\ 7.shitless\ tit\ 8.penis\ \nshrimp\ 9.loomis\ 10.super\ weiner\ discharge\n%\ni\ think\ this\ guy\ likes\ me.\ evertime\ we\ hang\ out,\ and\ do\ the\ least\ bit\ of\ \ntouching,\ he\ gets\ a\ boner,\ or\ atleast\ i\ thnk\ he\ does.\ but\ a\ boner\ is\ pretty\ \nhard\ to\ miss.\ so\ im\ guessing\ yea.excepts\ ints\ ot\ thru\ hsi\ pants,\ he\ jsut\ \nkidof\ tucks\ it\ in\ the\ part\ wiht\ tbuttons...\ the\ part\ were\ the\ belt\ goes.\ but\ \nit\ still\ goes\ up,\ and\ im\ not\ hallucinating\n%\nput\ down\ that\ joystick,\ son,\ and\ get\ yourself\ to\ the\ bar\;\ there\ are\ all\ \nsorts\ of\ women\ out\ there\ waiting\ to\ take\ your\ money\ in\ exchange\ for\ a\ \npittance\ of\ shallow\ affection\n%\nChimpanzees\ start\ mating\ immediately\ after\ menstruation\ has\ begun\ or\ \nejaculation\ becomes\ possible.\ Considering\ that\ we\ are\ animals,\ maybe\ it\ \nwouldn't\ be\ strange\ for\ humans\ to\ start\ having\ sex\ at\ 12\ or\ 13.\n%\nTo\ most,\ it\ seems\ obvious\ that\ there\ is\ a\ God.\ If\ true,\ the\ universe\ has\ a\ \ndefinite\ purpose.\ God\ made\ science.\ The\ old\ flat\ earth\ and\ geocentric\ \nbeliefs\ prove\ that\ the\ scientific\ community\ has\ been\ wrong\ before,\ and\ could\ \nbe\ again.\ Because\ of\ insufficient\ evidence\ to\ produce\ an\ objective\ finding,\ \nmany\ scientists\ have\ realized\ that\ much\ more\ faith\ is\ required\ for\ \nDarwinism,\ than\ for\ Intelligent\ Design.\n%\nI\ went\ straight\ for\ the\ animation\ section\ in\ hopes\ of\ finding\ the\ newest\ \nPrince\ Picha\ Picha\ tape,\ but\ unfortunately\ found\ the\ aisle\ littered\ with\ \nshit\ like\ Yuko\ Hiba\ and\ Haldi\ Daldi\ Sucking\ a\ Penis.\ I\ go\ up\ to\ the\ stock\ \ngrunt\ that's\ in\ the\ aisle\ over\ and\ ask\ him\ why\ there\ are\ adult\ anime\ videos\ \ntaking\ up\ space\ in\ a\ family\ video\ store.\ He\ tells\ me\ to\ lower\ my\ voice,\ and\ \nI\ tell\ him\ not\ to\ disrespect\ me\ like\ that\ again.\ He\ tells\ me\ that\ if\ I\ talk\ \nback\ to\ him\ he'll\ have\ me\ thrown\ out\ of\ the\ store\ because\ he's\ the\ manager,\ \nso\ I\ lower\ my\ sunglasses,\ look\ him\ in\ the\ eye\ and\ say\ \"I\ guess\ you'll\ have\ \nto\ MANAGE\ this\"\ and\ hit\ him\ with\ a\ flurry\ of\ dragon\ punches\ straight\ in\ his\ \ngut.\ Then\ I\ grab\ him\ by\ his\ collar\ and\ lift\ him\ straight\ up\ in\ the\ air\ and\ \nask\ him\ where\ the\ Kimba\ the\ White\ Lion\ tapes\ are,\ he\ says\ love\ you\ man,\ i\ \nhad\ my\ man\ back\ there\ trigger\ the\ silent\ alarm.\ \"I\ may\ not\ be\ a\ lion,\ but\ \nhear\ my\ roar\"\ and\ I\ throw\ him\ 20\ feet\ in\ front\ of\ me\ into\ the\ cash\ register,\ \n\"You're\ due\ back\ in\ six\ days\".\ Three\ of\ his\ employees\ come\ running\ out\ of\ \nthe\ back\ room\ with\ nunchucks\ in\ their\ hands\ and\ I\ jump\ up\ on\ the\ counter,\ \nlatch\ onto\ the\ ceiling\ lights\ and\ twist\ their\ necks\ with\ my\ dangling\ legs\ \n\"Heh,\ talk\ about\ a\ light\ fixture\".\ I\ leave\ the\ store,\ hop\ into\ my\ red\ \ncamaro,\ and\ blaze\ off\ into\ the\ sunset\ as\ Moni\ Hima's\ Chiba\ Chiba\ Surprise\ \nplays\ on\ the\ radio.\n%\nWell,\ I\ walk\ in\ to\ buy\ some\ tissues,\ and\ at\ the\ counter,\ I\ hear\ the\ manager\ \ntalking\ about\ some\ skateboard\ punks\ in\ the\ back\ by\ the\ garbage\ bins.\ The\ guy\ \nsaid\ he\ was\ about\ to\ have\ to\ call\ the\ cops.\ I\ told\ him\ there's\ no\ need\ to,\ \nI'll\ take\ care\ of\ it\ myself.\ So,\ I\ walked\ to\ the\ back\ of\ the\ store,\ and\ lo\ \nand\ behold,\ a\ couple\ of\ good\ for\ nothings\ were\ tearing\ the\ place\ up.\ A\ \ncouple\ of\ them\ asked\ me\ what\ I\ was\ doing\ here,\ so\ I\ took\ of\ my\ shades,\ \nlooked\ them\ straight\ in\ eye,\ and\ said,\ \"\ Well\ boys,\ I'm\ here\ to\ take\ out\ the\ \ntrash,\ then\ I\ grabed\ one\ of\ their\ skateboards,\ and\ broke\ it\ over\ my\ knee.\ \nThen,\ one\ of\ them\ threw\ a\ punch\ at\ me.\ I\ caught\ it,\ and\ looked\ thr\ punk\ \nstraight\ in\ the\ eye,\ and\ said\ \"\ I'm\ afraid\ theres\ no\ need\ for\ you\ to\ be\ \nrecycled,\ then\ I\ threw\ him\ straight\ over\ my\ head\ into\ one\ of\ the\ garbage\ \ndumpsters.\ Then,\ the\ rest\ of\ the\ kids\ ran\ away\ in\ fear.\ I\ was\ glad\ I\ could\ \nhelp\ my\ community,\ and\ look\ good\ doing\ it.\n%\nSo,\ I\ bought\ a\ couple\ of\ dvds\ off\ some\ web\ site\ a\ few\ weeks\ ago\ and\ I\ was\ \npretty\ upset\ they\ haven't\ come\ in\ the\ mail\ already.\ So\ today\ I\ stuck\ around\ \nthe\ house\ until\ the\ mailman\ came,\ he\ brought\ me\ a\ package\ but\ it\ wasn't\ the\ \ndvds\ I\ was\ waiting\ for.\ I\ asked\ him\ what\ the\ problem\ was\ and\ he\ told\ me\ that\ \nhe\ had\ no\ control\ over\ when\ the\ company\ sends\ me\ the\ dvds.\ He\ said\ I\ should\ \ntry\ to\ contact\ them.\ That\ did\ it.\ I\ couldn't\ belive\ this\ guy,\ I\ pay\ my\ taxes\ \nand\ this\ guy\ thinks\ he\ has\ the\ right\ to\ sass\ me\ in\ front\ of\ my\ euro\ mansion,\ \nin\ my\ freaking\ driveway?\ I\ lifted\ up\ my\ shades,\ took\ the\ cigar\ out\ of\ my\ \nmouth,\ looked\ him\ straight\ in\ the\ eye\ and\ said\ \"\ I'm\ afraid\ this\ package\ is\ \nmarked\ return\ to\ sender\",\ and\ then\ I\ threw\ the\ package\ in\ the\ air\ and\ \nsidekicked\ the\ package\ right\ into\ the\ guys\ face\ causing\ teeth\ to\ go\ \neverywhere.\ I\ then\ saw\ one\ of\ my\ ederly\ neighbors\ walking\ toward\ me\ so\ I\ \nassumed\ he\ wanted\ trouble\ as\ well\ so\ I\ gave\ him\ a\ swift\ round\ kick\ to\ the\ \nribs,\ I\ then\ looked\ at\ him\ and\ said\ \"time\ to\ take\ out\ the\ garbage\"\ and\ hip\ \ntossed\ him\ into\ the\ garbage\ can.\ I\ then\ picked\ up\ the\ crying\ mailman\ and\ \nthrew\ him\ into\ the\ garbage\ can,\ after\ I\ had\ my\ \"garbage\ collected\",\ I\ picked\ \nup\ the\ garbage\ can\ and\ said\ \"let\ the\ good\ times\ roll\"\ and\ threw\ the\ garbage\ \ncan\ down\ the\ hill.\ I\ didn't\ see\ those\ two\ guys\ again\ but\ I\ don't\ really\ \ncare,\ I\ took\ the\ mailbag\ and\ threw\ it\ in\ my\ fireplace\ since\ it\ was\ a\ little\ \nchilly\ here\ today.\n%\nI\ was\ in\ town\ with\ one\ of\ my\ girlfriends\ today,\ and\ I\ decided\ to\ play\ one\ of\ \nthose\ scratch\ off\ games\ again,\ I\ was\ very\ suprised\ when\ I\ won\ 1\ million\ \ndollars\ on\ the\ spot,\ this\ was\ like\ the\ second\ time\ I\ won\ the\ lottery.\ I\ was\ \nabout\ to\ claim\ my\ prize\ but\ then\ I\ thought\ to\ myself\ I'm\ already\ rich\ why\ \nnot\ have\ some\ fun\ with\ this\ one?\ I\ told\ my\ girlfriend\ I\ was\ tired\ of\ her\ \nalready\ so\ I\ left\ her\ at\ the\ gas\ station\ and\ went\ to\ find\ me\ some\ poor\ \nsuckers.\ What\ better\ place\ than\ wal\ mart?\ I\ went\ up\ and\ down\ the\ aisles\ \nuntil\ I\ found\ a\ bad\ dressed\ man\ and\ wife\ along\ with\ their\ kid.\ I\ went\ up\ to\ \nthe\ guy\ and\ showed\ the\ guy\ the\ ticket,\ and\ told\ him\ since\ I\ didnt\ need\ the\ \nmoney\ I\ was\ going\ to\ give\ it\ to\ him\ and\ his\ family,\ when\ he\ started\ to\ tear\ \nup\ I\ tore\ up\ the\ ticket\ and\ threw\ the\ pieces\ on\ the\ ground.\ I\ then\ started\ \nto\ walk\ away\ but\ this\ spinless\ punk\ then\ took\ a\ swing\ at\ me\ when\ my\ back\ was\ \nturned.\ That\ did\ it.\ I\ turned\ around,\ took\ off\ my\ shades,\ looked\ him\ \nstraight\ in\ the\ eye\ and\ said\ \"feeling\ lucky\".\ I\ then\ gave\ him\ a\ swift\ kick\ \nin\ the\ ribs\ and\ threw\ him\ into\ the\ pet\ section,\ I\ then\ caught\ a\ wal\ mart\ guy\ \ncoming\ at\ me\ so\ I\ took\ a\ knife\ out\ of\ my\ jacket\ and\ threw\ it\ toward\ a\ chain\ \nholding\ up\ a\ sign,\ I\ then\ looked\ at\ the\ guy\ and\ said\ \"watch\ out\ for\ falling\ \nprices\"\ and\ then\ the\ sign\ fell\ on\ him\ and\ knocked\ him\ out.\ I\ left\ the\ store\ \nbut\ not\ before\ I\ complained\ to\ the\ manager\ about\ the\ kind\ of\ people\ they\ let\ \nin\ there.\n%\nSo\ I\ was\ sitting\ in\ the\ back\ corner\ of\ eat\ �n\ park\ a\ restaurant\ in\ the\ \nnortheastern\ region\ and\ I\ hear\ this\ group\ of\ punk\ kids\ terrorizing\ their\ \nwaitress,\ and\ I\ stumble\ over\ there\ and\ ask\ the\ beautiful\ lady\ what\ the\ \nproblem\ seems\ to\ be.\ The\ kids\ being\ the\ adept\ punks\ they\ are\ give\ her\ a\ \nglare\ that\ tells\ her\ not\ to\ talk\ or\ else\ therell\ be\ problems\ but\ I\ know\ \nbetter\ than\ this\ and\ I\ tell\ them\ that\ if\ they\ don�t\ apologize\ to\ this\ \nbeautiful\ belle\ theyre\ going\ to\ have\ to\ answer\ to\ me.\ I\ pull\ my\ shades\ out\ \nof\ my\ back\ pocket,\ slip\ a\ comb\ through\ my\ wet\ hair,\ and\ tell\ them\ they\ have\ \n10\ seconds\ to\ apologize.\ The\ leader\ of\ the\ gang\ a\ chubby\ kid\ tells\ me\ to\ get\ \nloss\ and\ then\ throws\ the\ peg\ game\ on\ his\ table\ at\ my\ face.\ �I\ pegged\ you\ as\ \nthe\ wise\ sort,\ and\ I\ don�t\ play\ games!�\ says\ I,\ and\ I\ grab\ a\ tonfa\ from\ the\ \ncop\ sitting\ at\ the\ table\ next\ to\ them\ and\ tell\ them\ today�s\ special,\ punks\ \nserved\ sunny\ side\ up,\ with\ a\ side\ of\ hollandaise.\ I\ crack\ the\ tonfa\ over\ two\ \npunk\ heads,\ do\ a\ roundkick,\ and\ then\ hiptoss\ the\ runt\ of\ the\ crew\ into\ the\ \npie\ fridge.\ �Creamed\ or\ Key\ Limed?\ �\ I\ ask\ the\ cop\ as\ he\ slips\ me\ a\ fiver\ \nand\ gives\ me\ a\ back\ high\ five.\ He\ tells\ me\ Ive\ done\ a\ good\ job\ as\ a\ citizen,\ \nand\ I\ kiss\ the\ beautiful\ waitress\ on\ the\ cheek,\ run\ my\ comb\ through\ my\ hair\ \nonce\ more\ and\ leave\ the\ restaurant\ on\ my\ harley.\n%\nIt\ was\ a\ nice\ day\ today\ so\ I\ went\ for\ a\ walk\ outside.\ As\ I\ was\ walking,\ I\ \nheard\ somebody\ crying\ out\ in\ pain\ so\ I\ went\ to\ investigate,\ when\ I\ turned\ \nthe\ corner\ I\ saw\ a\ kid\ that\ had\ fallen\ off\ his\ bike\ and\ he\ was\ grabbing\ his\ \nleg\ and\ crying.\ There\ was\ this\ guy\ already\ there\ and\ he\ told\ me\ that\ he\ was\ \na\ doctor\ and\ he\ thought\ this\ kid\ had\ a\ broken\ leg.\ I\ could\ tell\ this\ guy\ was\ \nlying\ because\ he\ didn't\ have\ any\ white\ coat,\ I\ don't\ like\ liars\ so\ I\ pushed\ \nhim\ out\ of\ the\ way.\ My\ training\ in\ medical\ school\ showed\ me\ that\ I\ had\ to\ \nget\ the\ kid's\ leg\ straight\ again,\ so\ I\ started\ pounding\ his\ knee\ to\ get\ the\ \nbone\ straight\ again.\ Thats\ when\ the\ guy\ that\ claimed\ to\ be\ a\ \"doctor\"\ called\ \nme\ a\ moron\ and\ pushed\ me\ out\ of\ the\ way.\ Well\ that\ did\ it.\ I\ got\ up,\ took\ my\ \nshades\ off,\ looked\ him\ straight\ in\ the\ eye\ and\ said\ \"\ open\ wide\ doc\"\ and\ \nthen\ I\ gave\ him\ a\ swift\ kick\ to\ the\ mouth.\ I\ then\ grabbed\ him\ and\ said\ \"time\ \nto\ make\ a\ house\ call\ \"\ and\ then\ I\ threw\ him\ through\ a\ window\ of\ a\ near\ by\ \nhouse.\ The\ kid\ stopped\ crying\ then,\ I\ guess\ my\ pounding\ earlier\ worked.\ I\ \ntold\ the\ kid\ not\ to\ thank\ me\ but\ I\ did\ need\ 20\ dollars\ for\ my\ time.\ He\ only\ \nhad\ 14\ so\ I\ took\ his\ bike\ as\ well.\ I\ feel\ pretty\ good\ about\ fixing\ the\ kid's\ \nleg.\n%\nMe\ and\ my\ friend\ went\ to\ fill\ up\ my\ corvette\ last\ night\ and\ there\ were\ these\ \ntwo\ punks\ there\ sitting\ on\ the\ sidewalk\ of\ the\ gas\ station\ with\ their\ radio\ \nblasting.\ I\ was\ trying\ to\ think\ as\ I\ pumped\ gas\ but\ their\ radio\ made\ that\ \nhard\ to\ do.\ I\ was\ not\ pleased.\ So\ I\ went\ in\ and\ payed\ for\ the\ gas\ and\ then\ I\ \nwent\ up\ to\ the\ two\ punks\ outside.\ I\ said\ excuse\ me\ but\ I\ think\ you\ need\ to\ \nturn\ your\ radio\ down.\ They\ told\ me\ to\ chill,\ they\ were\ just\ hanging\ out\ and\ \nhaving\ a\ few\ smokes.\ I\ then\ looked\ them\ in\ the\ eye\ and\ said\ \"\ I'm\ afraid\ \nthis\ is\ the\ no\ smoking\ section\ boys\"\ and\ then\ I\ kicked\ their\ radio\ up\ \nagainst\ the\ side\ of\ the\ gas\ station.\ Then\ one\ of\ them\ stood\ up\ and\ took\ a\ \nswing\ at\ me,\ I\ ducked\ it\ and\ then\ gave\ him\ a\ roundhouse\ kick\ to\ the\ stomach.\ \nThen\ the\ other\ one\ took\ what\ was\ left\ of\ the\ radio\ and\ threw\ it\ at\ me,\ I\ \nblocked\ it\ with\ my\ left\ hand\ which\ caused\ it\ to\ go\ sailing\ back\ and\ knock\ \nhim\ out.\ Then\ a\ middle\ aged\ man\ which\ looked\ to\ be\ in\ his\ 50's\ came\ up\ and\ \nasked\ what\ was\ going\ on.\ I\ wasn't\ sure\ if\ he\ was\ with\ me\ or\ against\ me\ so\ I\ \nassumed\ he\ was\ against\ me,\ I\ then\ gave\ him\ a\ swift\ front\ kick\ to\ the\ groin\ \nand\ hip\ tossed\ him\ on\ top\ of\ the\ other\ guys\ there.\ I\ then\ walked\ back\ to\ my\ \ncar\ where\ my\ friend\ just\ stood\ there\ in\ awe,\ I\ asked\ him\ why\ he\ didn't\ help\ \nme\ and\ he\ said\ it\ looked\ like\ I\ had\ things\ under\ control.\ I\ slapped\ him\ and\ \npushed\ him\ to\ the\ ground\ and\ told\ him\ to\ walk\ home.\ I\ then\ got\ in\ my\ \ncorvette\ turned\ up\ the\ radio\ to\ full\ blast\ and\ much\ to\ my\ suprise\ welcome\ to\ \nthe\ jungle\ was\ playing.\ I\ then\ sped\ off\ with\ that\ song\ playing\ full\ blast.\ I\ \nfelt\ pretty\ good\ about\ standing\ up\ for\ my\ rights\ and\ I\ looked\ good\ doing\ it.\n%\nSo,\ I\ was\ at\ work\ yesterday,\ and\ I\ happened\ to\ walk\ by\ this\ guy's\ desk.\ I\ \nnoticed\ on\ his\ computer\ screen\ that\ he\ had\ his\ personal\ E-mails\ pulled\ up.\ I\ \nasked\ him\ who\ he\ thought\ he\ was\ to\ do\ this\ on\ company\ time,\ and\ then,\ he\ \ntold\ me\ that\ his\ daughter\ was\ sick\ at\ home,\ so\ he\ was\ checking\ up\ on\ her.\ I\ \nthen\ punched\ his\ computer\ screen\ out,\ and\ Look\ him\ straight\ in\ the\ eye\ and\ \nsaid,\ \"\ Who\ do\ you\ think\ I\ am?\ Jerry\ Lewis?\ I\ dont\ want\ to\ hear\ your\ sob\ \nstory,\ so\ get\ back\ to\ work\ before\ I\ get\ you\ fired.\"\ He\ then\ said\ a\ few\ \ncusswords,\ and\ then,\ then\ He\ tried\ to\ punch\ me,\ I\ blocked\ it,\ then\ ,\ I\ gave\ \nhim\ a\ swift,\ round\ kick\ to\ the\ groin.\ I\ asked\ him\ if\ he\ wanted\ some\ more,\ \nand\ he\ came\ at\ me,\ again,\ so,\ I\ slapped\ him,\ then\ I\ hip\ tossed\ him\ into\ the\ \nnearest\ filing\ cabinent.\ I\ looked\ Over\ my\ should\ at\ anther\ worker\ who\ was\ \nstanding\ near\ by,\ and\ I\ said....\"\ File\ him\ under\ G.....\ for\ garbage.\"\ \nNeedless\ to\ say,\ I\ was\ quite\ pleased,\ because\ now,\ that\ means\ there\ one\ less\ \nperson\ in\ the\ company\ for\ people\ to\ look\ at.\ All\ eyes\ should\ be\ on\ me.\ I'm\ a\ \nstud.\n%\nMe\ and\ one\ of\ my\ friends\ went\ out\ today\ for\ some\ dinner\ so\ we\ stopped\ at\ a\ \npretty\ nice\ restaurant.\ I\ don't\ smoke\ and\ most\ of\ the\ time\ I\ sit\ in\ the\ non\ \nsmoking\ section\ but\ I\ didn't\ feel\ like\ walking\ to\ the\ back\ of\ the\ restaurant\ \ntoday\ so\ me\ and\ my\ friend\ sat\ at\ the\ first\ table\ we\ came\ to\ in\ the\ smoking\ \nsection.\ Since\ most\ ppl\ should\ be\ aware\ that\ I\ don't\ smoke\ I\ didn't\ think\ I\ \nwould\ have\ any\ problems.\ I\ was\ wrong.\ This\ jerk\ lit\ up\ a\ cigarette\ right\ \nnext\ to\ me.\ I\ couldn't\ belive\ this\ fat\ jerk\ was\ disrepecting\ me\ like\ this\ so\ \nI\ turned\ around\ and\ looked\ him\ right\ in\ the\ eye\ and\ said\ \"\ you\ might\ want\ to\ \nput\ that\ out\ fag..........That\ is,if\ you\ value\ your\ health\".\ The\ guy\ said\ a\ \ncouple\ of\ cuss\ words\ and\ told\ me\ to\ go\ to\ the\ non\ smoking\ section.\ Well\ that\ \ndid\ it.\ I\ got\ up\ went\ over\ to\ the\ table\ and\ said\ \"excuse\ me\ fag\ but\ you\ \ndidn't\ clean\ your\ plate\",\ and\ then\ I\ took\ his\ plate\ and\ bashed\ him\ over\ the\ \nhead\ with\ it.\ Then\ his\ friend\ that\ was\ with\ him\ got\ up\ and\ took\ a\ swing\ at\ \nme,\ I\ ducked\ it\ and\ then\ gave\ him\ a\ swift\ round\ kick\ to\ the\ ribs.\ I\ then\ hip\ \ntossed\ him\ on\ the\ table\ and\ then\ I\ turned\ around\ and\ looked\ one\ of\ the\ \nwaiters\ right\ in\ the\ eye\ and\ said\ \"this\ orders\ to\ go\"\ and\ then\ I\ tossed\ the\ \ntable\ with\ the\ guy\ on\ it\ a\ good\ 14\ feet\ across\ the\ room.\ As\ me\ and\ my\ friend\ \nwere\ storming\ out\ the\ manager\ apologized\ to\ us\ but\ I\ told\ him\ it\ was\ too\ \nlate\ as\ I\ would\ never\ eat\ there\ again.\n%\nHah,\ then\ you're\ depriving\ yourself\ of\ one\ of\ life's\ simple\ pleasures.\ \nPicture\ a\ cool\ Saturday\ evening..\ lights\ down\ low,\ the\ sun\ is\ setting,\ Mom\ \nwent\ out\ with\ her\ friends.\ You\ have\ a\ slice\ of\ pizza\ in\ one\ hand,\ a\ Guinness\ \nin\ the\ other,\ and\ a\ fresh\ Gentoo\ install\ on\ two\ screens\ in\ front\ of\ you.\ \nNothing\ quite\ like\ it,\ my\ friend.\n%\nI\ came\ home\ this\ afternoon\ after\ picking\ up\ my\ copy\ of\ gta\ and\ I\ smelled\ \nsomething\ funny\ from\ my\ neighbors\ house.\ I\ went\ over\ there\ and\ the\ door\ was\ \nunlocked\ so\ I\ went\ right\ in.\ Sure\ enough\ there\ was\ my\ neighbor\ and\ two\ of\ \nhis\ friends\ smoking\ to\ their\ hearts\ content.\ I\ told\ them\ they\ had\ two\ \noptions,\ one-\ they\ could\ put\ the\ joints\ out\ or\ two-\ I\ would\ put\ the\ joints\ \nout\ for\ them.\ My\ neighbor\ had\ run\ ins\ with\ me\ before\ so\ he\ knew\ I\ meant\ \nbusiness\ so\ he\ threw\ his\ joint\ down\ and\ told\ me\ to\ leave.\ I\ said\ you\ made\ a\ \nwise\ choice\ but\ I'm\ still\ calling\ the\ cops\ and\ then\ I\ turned\ to\ leave.\ My\ \nneighbor\ then\ got\ up\ off\ the\ couch\ got\ behind\ me\ and\ said\ a\ few\ cuss\ words\ \nand\ told\ me\ to\ mind\ my\ business.\ \ His\ other\ friend\ ran\ into\ the\ kitchen\ so\ I\ \nwent\ after\ him.\ He\ was\ in\ the\ corner\ crying\ so\ I\ said\ \"this\ is\ your\ brain\"\ \nand\ then\ I\ grabbed\ a\ frying\ pan\ and\ said\ \"this\ is\ your\ brain\ on\ drugs\"\ and\ \nthen\ I\ hit\ him\ in\ the\ head\ as\ hard\ as\ I\ could\ with\ the\ frying\ pan.\ \ After\ \nthat\ I\ called\ the\ cops\ and\ they\ came\ over\ and\ arrested\ my\ neighbor\ and\ his\ \nfriends.\ As\ I\ was\ leaving\ the\ sarge\ shouted\ out\ to\ me\ thanks.\ I\ then\ threw\ \nmy\ shades\ on\ the\ ground\ to\ let\ him\ know\ I\ meant\ business.\ I\ feel\ pretty\ good\ \nabout\ what\ I\ did\ for\ my\ neighborhood\ today.\n%\nThis\ thread\ is\ just\ a\ remake\ of\ a\ thread\ I\ read\ months\ ago\ on\ an\ exclusive\ \nforum\ you're\ too\ poor\ to\ have\ even\ heard\ of,\ which\ counts\ among\ its\ members\ \nsuch\ superstars\ as\ Tiesto,\ Paul\ Van\ Dyk,\ Kenny\ Loggins,\ and\ Afrikaa\ \nBambaataa.\ Maybe\ someday\ you\ can\ come\ up\ with\ something\ original.\n%\nI\ have\ like\ 50,000\ shells/vhosts/bncs.\ Bans\ won't\ do\ a\ thing\ except\ fill\ \nyour\ list.\ And\ 'get\ to\ where\ i\ am\ today'\ is\ a\ sad\ testament\ to\ your\ life\ \napparently.\ On\ a\ side\ note,\ I\ used\ to\ op\ other\ chans\ that\ are\ far\ bigger\ \nthan\ this\ chan.\ I\ didn't\ get\ ops\ by\ k/b'ing\ everyone\ in\ sight\ or\ anyone\ that\ \ncarried\ a\ touch\ of\ annoyance\ to\ me.\ I\ reserved\ k/bs\ for\ spammers\ and\ \nflooders,\ that's\ it.\ Everyone\ else\ I\ /ignored\n%\nSwadi\ Ghilan's\ two\ sons\ were\ dropping\ their\ sister\ off\ at\ high\ school\ \nearlier\ this\ year\ when\ a\ carload\ of\ Sunni\ Muslim\ insurgents\ pulled\ up\ and\ \nemptied\ their\ AK-47s\ into\ their\ bodies.\ In\ broad\ daylight\ his\ children\ were\ \ntorn\ to\ pieces,\ their\ blood\ splashed\ against\ the\ windshield\ as\ they\ screamed\ \nand\ died\ ohh\ yeah\n%\nexcuse\ me,\ but\ i\ politely\ ask\ you\ to\ cease\ your\ torpid\ attempts\ at\ \nmanifesting\ versimilitude\ through\ your\ crude\ preferences\ of\ internet\ \nlexicon.\ my\ comprehension\ of\ the\ english\ language\ is\ brobdingnagian,\ \neffortlessly\ micrifying\ your\ picayune\ and\ odious\ disposition,\ of\ which\ has\ \nalready\ saturated\ me\ with\ a\ pullulating\ impression\ of\ ennui\ coupled\ with\ \nexecration.\ good\ day.\n%\nSome\ advice\ to\ you\ gentoo\ users\ out\ there:\ Why\ don't\ you\ emerge\ yourself\ \nfrom\ that\ closet\ already\ you\ damn\ homo.\n%\nMy\ computer\ typing\ skills\ surpass\ any\ of\ your\ so\ called\ 'talents'.\ I\ can\ \ntype\ 'internet\ relay\ chat'\ in\ the\ time\ it\ takes\ you\ to\ type\ 'IRC'\ (by\ the\ \nway,\ acronyms\ are\ so\ pass�).\ I\ have\ 6\ custom\ developed\ Das\ Keyboards\ \nprogrammed\ to\ a\ vast\ array\ of\ languages.\ They\ are\ strategically\ placed\ \nacross\ my\ 3\ tier,\ Mahogany\ desktop\ that\ I\ had\ customed\ ordered\ from\ France.\ \nI\ can\ communicate\ with\ 3\ different\ people\ simultanously\ while\ coding\ the\ \nREADME\ updates\ for\ my\ unix\ distribution.\ Did\ I\ mention\ I\ have\ the\ all-time\ \nhigh\ score\ on\ Mavis\ Beacon?\ You\ have\ nothing\ on\ my\ impressive\ typing\ skills.\ \nThought\ so.\n%\nThe\ way\ I\ look\ at\ it,\ you\ atheists\ are\ basically\ like\ this:\ \"Look\ at\ me,\ \nworld...I\ can\ debunk\ your\ faith\ in\ God\ and\ leave\ you\ applauding\ my\ \nperception\ and\ intelligence\ to\ bring\ forth\ the\ truth.\"\ Sorry,\ I've\ already\ \nforgotten\ your\ name,\ \ but\ the\ name\ of\ God\ will\ stand\ forever.\n%\nI\ am\ pleased\ to\ announce\ that,\ in\ addition\ to\ having\ spotless\ tiles\ and\ \ngrout\ in\ my\ bathroom,\ my\ hands\ are\ several\ orders\ of\ magnitude\ cleaner\ than\ \nyours.\ My\ fingernails\ all\ but\ sparkle\ in\ the\ daylight,\ due\ to\ their\ highly\ \npolished\ status.\ Upon\ examination\ under\ a\ scanning\ electron\ microscope,\ you\ \nwill\ notice\ that\ the\ crevices\ of\ my\ hands\ are\ quite\ literally\ free\ of\ germs\ \nor\ other\ bacterial\ growths.\ Your\ hands,\ in\ comparison,\ are\ a\ veritable\ \nwasteland\ of\ urine,\ dust\ mites,\ blood\ mixed\ feces,\ skin\ cells,\ and\ pet\ \ndander.\ Your\ hygiene\ cannot\ even\ begin\ to\ compare\ to\ mine.\ Good\ day.\n%\nA\ military-grade\ GPS\ transponder\ is\ integrated\ into\ my\ brilliant\ blue\ HUD\ \nwhich\ is\ projected\ stereoscopically\ onto\ the\ inside\ of\ my\ windshield\ giving\ \nthe\ effect\ of\ a\ gentle,\ and\ indeed\ quite\ entrancing,\ box\ of\ luminous\ \ninformation\ about\ my\ own\ decadence\ floating\ 10-15\ meters\ in\ front\ of\ my\ \nexquisite\ sedan.\ Good\ day.\n%\nOverweight,\ rubber-faced\ men\ lurking\ near\ commercial\ business\ centers\ or\ \nshopping\ mall\ food\ courts\ during\ the\ morning\ hours?\ Stay\ away\ from\ these\ \npeople,\ they\ could\ be\ hamburglars.\n%\nPeople\ totally\ underestimate\ children's\ sexuality.\ Did\ you\ know\ even\ babies\ \ncan\ get\ erections?\n%\nThat\ 'I\ work\ my\ ass\ off'\ shit\ is\ so\ 90's.\ Here\ in\ the\ 0's\ robots\ do\ our\ \nwork,\ Cletus.\ Get\ the\ fuck\ back\ to\ Amish\ country\ with\ that\ work\ ethic\ shit.\n%\nMy\ blog\ is\ utterly\ inundated\ with\ trackbacks\ from\ across\ the\ globe.\ Past\ \ncommenters\ on\ my\ posts\ include\ U2\ frontman\ Bono,\ His\ Majesty\ King\ Mohammed\ \nIV\ of\ Morocco,\ and\ former\ UN\ Secretary-General\ Boutros-Boutros\ Ghali.\ I've\ \nwritten\ over\ three\ thousand\ mind-stimulating\ and\ thought\ provoking\ entries\ \ndating\ back\ to\ 1995,\ and\ I've\ received\ over\ ten\ million\ comments,\ all\ from\ \nunique\ ip\ ranges.There\ has\ never\ been\ a\ single\ spam\ comment\ post\ that\ lasted\ \nmore\ than\ 0.25\ seconds\ due\ to\ superior\ spam\ detection\ software\ which\ I\ have\ \nwritten\ myself\ and\ ported\ to\ several\ popular\ blogging\ packages.\ You\ cannot\ \neven\ begin\ to\ compare\ to\ me.\n%\nSorry\ to\ burst\ your\ musical\ bubble,\ but\ the\ bands\ you\ listen\ to\ were\ \noverwhelmingly\ influenced\ by\ the\ bands\ I\ listened\ to\ four\ years\ ago.\ Try\ to\ \nkeep\ up.\n%\nMy\ musical\ interests\ are\ so\ vast\ i\ cannot\ even\ begin\ to\ explain\ them\ using\ a\ \nkeyboard.\ Go\ back\ to\ reading\ Pitchfork\ everyday\ trying\ to\ find\ the\ song\ that\ \ndescribes\ your\ life\ to\ a\ T\;\ it\ won't\ be\ hard\ I'm\ sure.\n%\nExcuse\ me,\ but\ that\ troll\ you\ just\ pasted\ is\ over\ ten\ years\ old\;\ i've\ \nperused\ my\ logs\ and\ found\ myself\ referencing\ said\ troll\ over\ two\ hundred\ \ntimes.\ Thank\ you.\n%\nYou\ see\ that\ crystal\ salt\ cellar\ in\ my\ Amazon\ wish-list?\ That\ will\ set\ you\ \nback\ \$27,000\ at\ Hammacher-Schlemmer.\ Incidentally,\ I\ own\ four.\ Go\ back\ to\ \nyour\ Livejournal\ and\ post\ about\ ordering\ twenty\ five\ cent\ Chinese\ Food\ \ntakeout\ with\ your\ drunken\ frat\ friends\;\ you're\ quite\ out\ of\ your\ element\ \nhere.\n%\nMy\ digital\ music\ library\ is\ vast\ and\ unrivaled,\ consisting\ of\ only\ the\ most\ \npristine\ lossless\ audio\ files\ ripped\ from\ the\ original\ DAT/DDS\ recordings\ \n(with\ pre-mixdown\ and\ pre-master\ sister\ copies,\ of\ course).\ My\ inside\ \nsources\ supply\ me\ with\ copies\ of\ the\ newest\ albums\ before\ even\ the\ artists\ \nthemselves\ have\ heard\ the\ final\ cuts.\ Incidentally,\ you've\ never\ heard\ of\ \n99%\ of\ these\ bands,\ nor\ could\ you\ ever\ hope\ to\ comprehend\ their\ genius\ nor\ \nappreciate\ their\ obscurity.\n%\nGuys\ that\ are\ uncircumcised\ are\ repulsive\ to\ me.\ People\ go\ in\ and\ out\ of\ \npublic\ washrooms\ so\ fast\ you\ know\ they\ didn't\ wash\ their\ hands\ with\ soap.\ \nCan\ only\ imagine\ how\ much\ stinky\ smeg\ must\ be\ down\ there.\ There\ was\ one\ guy\ \nI\ was\ with\ that\ was\ uncut.\ He\ was\ only\ four\ inches\ and\ that\ didnt\ last.\ The\ \nfirst\ to\ say\ it\ doesnt\ matter\ are\ small\ men.\ Its\ brilliant\ luck\ the\ guys\ \nI've\ been\ with\ have\ been\ 8-10\ inches\ so\ far.\ Uncut\ is\ such\ an\ aversion,\ it\ \nmakes\ me\ want\ to\ ask\ right\ away\ to\ weed\ them\ out.\n%\ni\ tried\ to\ commit\ suicide\ so\ i\ took\ a\ bunch\ of\ pills\ but\ i\ was\ upset\ when\ \nthe\ pills\ i\ thought\ said\ \"die\"\ actually\ said\ \"diet\"\ :((\ i\ lost\ 5lbs\ tho\ :)))\n%\nI\ use\ the\ latest\ versions\ of\ Adobe\ Photoshop\ as\ soon\ as\ they\ are\ released.\ I\ \nhave\ 5\ versions\ of\ Macromedia\ Flash\ installed\ on\ my\ computer.\ My\ computer\ \nsyncs\ with\ many\ 'blogs'\ to\ find\ out\ the\ latest\ release\ information\ on\ new\ \nproducts\ that\ I\ immediately\ download\ from\ a\ p2p\ (Peer\ To\ Peer)\ server\ which\ \nI\ have\ exclusive\ access\ to.\ I\ am\ a\ website\ designer\;\ I\ also\ do\ myspace\ \nwebsite\ designs\ with\ skillful\ grace.\ I\ listen\ to\ a\ lot\ of\ indie\ music\ but\ I\ \nwas\ the\ original\ indie\ fan\ before\ it\ sold\ out\ and\ got\ popular.\ I\ also\ like\ \nemo\ (emotional)\ music.\ I\ went\ on\ a\ drug\ binge\ when\ I\ was\ 16\ and\ lost\ my\ \nvirginity\ to\ a\ truck\ driver\ behind\ a\ Pak'n'Save.\ Brb,\ I\ gotta\ cut\ myself.\ Do\ \nyou\ want\ to\ see\ my\ blog?\ PS.\ How\ do\ I\ make\ those\ clouds?\n%\nYou\ know\ what\ pushes\ my\ buttons?\ You\ know\ what\ makes\ my\ bubbles\ pop?\ You\ \nknow\ what\ raises\ the\ hairs\ on\ my\ ass?\ You\ know\ what\ tickles\ my\ fancy?\ You\ \nknow\ what\ thaws\ my\ ice\ cubes?\ You\ know\ what\ gets\ my\ cripples\ standing?\ You\ \nknow\ what\ formats\ my\ hard\ drive?\ You\ know\ what\ drains\ my\ fluids?\ You\ know\ \nwhat\ ticks\ my\ clock?\ You\ know\ what\ shoots\ my\ target?\ You\ know\ what\ \nneutralizes\ my\ pathogenic\ agents?\ You\ know\ how\ much\ I\ paid\ to\ get\ you\ into\ \ncollege?\ You\ little\ shit.\n%\nGentlemen,\ \ I\ am\ pleased\ to\ announce\ that\ in\ addition\ to\ having\ leech\ access\ \nto\ the\ most\ elite\ 0-day\ courier\ FTPs,\ I\ have\ thousands\ of\ shell\ accounts,\ \neach\ of\ which\ are\ capable\ of\ running\ an\ unlimited\ number\ of\ processes\ with\ \neggdrop/IRC\ support.\ \ My\ botnet\ is\ unfathomably\ large.\nI\ have\ access\ to\ hundreds\ witty\ IRC\ vhosts,\ using\ every\ existing\ TLD.\ \ I\ \nconnect\ to\ them\ using\ an\ unreleased\ version\ of\ mIRC\ with\ every\ feature\ you\ \ncould\ possibly\ desire,\ including\ the\ most\ powerful\ WARTOOLS.\ \ This\ is\ all\ \npowered\ by\ my\ \$5,000\ premium\ Dell\ computer\ system.\ You\ cannot\ even\ begin\ to\ \ncompare\ to\ me.\n%\nTHE\ PURPOSE\ OF\ LANGUAGE\ IS\ COMMUNICATION\ AND\ IF\ YOU\ CAN\ UNDERSTAND\ IT\ \nDESPITE\ SPELLING/GRAMMAR\ FLAWS\ AND\ YOU\ ARE\ ABLE\ TO\ CORRECT\ IT\ THEN\ SAID\ \nCOMMUNICATION\ WAS\ EFFECTIVE\ AND\ YOU\ ARE\ A\ FAGGOT.\n%\nSo\ I\ was\ having\ lunch\ with\ my\ good\ friend\ Jerry\ Bruckheimer\ at\ a\ local\ \nrestraunt,\ and\ we\ were\ discussing\ Top\ Gun.\ One\ thing\ that\ struck\ me\ about\ \nTop\ Gun\ that\ I\ never\ really\ knew\ why\ Goose\ died.\ So\ Jerry,\ or\ Jerr-Bear\ as\ \nhe's\ known\ by\ his\ friends,\ let\ me\ in\ on\ a\ little\ secret.\ He\ told\ me\ that\ at\ \nthe\ time\ of\ Goose's\ death,\ he\ was\ chewing\ gum\ and\ that\ the\ excessive\ juice\ \nthat\ was\ being\ excreted\ from\ his\ chewing\ the\ gum\ caused\ him\ to\ lose\ control\ \nand\ die.\ And\ this\ just\ wasn't\ any\ chewing\ gum,\ it\ was\ Bubblicious.\ And\ this\ \njust\ wasn't\ any\ Bubblicious\ flavor,\ it\ was\ a\ flavor\ called\ Lebron\ James'\ \nLoopy\ Lemonade\ gum.\ So\ if\ you\ see\ this\ flavor\ of\ gum\ at\ the\ stores,\ please\ \ndo\ not\ buy\ it\ because\ it\ killed\ Goose.\n%\nis\ it\ possible\ i\ could\ have\ bought\ a\ bootleg\ pci\ sata\ card?\ \ it\ says\ \nsiclicon\ image\ 3112\ but\ its\ not\ working\ right\ and\ the\ bios\ has\ grammar\ \nerrors.\ \ wtf?\n%\nAnyone\ who\ says\ \"F/OSS\"\ is\ a\ tool.\ \ Free\ software\ hates\ Open\ Source\ because\ \nOpen\ Source\ is\ the\ little\ sell\ out\ movement\ that\ doesn't\ give\ a\ fuck\ about\ \nthe\ ideals.\ \ \ It's\ like\ True\ vs.\ Nu\ metal.\ Stop\ associating\ Free\ Software\ \neven\ remotely\ with\ Open\ Source\ because\ those\ of\ us\ in\ the\ Free\ Software\ \nmovement\ probably\ hate\ you.\n%\nI\ scoff\ at\ your\ claim\ that\ your\ windows\ environment\ can\ even\ begin\ to\ \ncompare\ to\ mine.\ I\ have\ thousands\ upon\ thousands\ of\ fonts,\ and\ my\ wallpaper\ \nis\ a\ massive\ 2GB\ at\ a\ whopping\ 14,000\ dpi\ in\ glorious\ 128-bit\ color.\ My\ \nonscreen\ text\ is\ antialiased\ with\ the\ latest\ ClearType\ technology,\ and\ \nremains\ brilliantly\ legible\ even\ behind\ 10,\ nay,\ 20\ transparent\ window\ \npanes.\ Clicking\ my\ Start\ button\ triggers\ a\ fanfare\ and\ a\ choir\ of\ haunting\ \nangelic\ voices\ as\ you\ stagger\ back\ in\ awe\ of\ my\ stunning\ 45,000\ item\ Start\ \nMenu.\n%\nThis\ is\ discrimination!\ \ Just\ because\ I\ have\ a\ -job-\ I\ should\ have\ tax\ \ndollars\ taken\ away\ from\ me\ and\ given\ to\ slovenly\ brutish\ underclass,\ who\ \nrefuse\ to\ work\ and\ instead\ attempt\ to\ mug\ me\ every\ time\ I\ pick\ up\ a\ male\ \nprostitute\ downtown??\n%\none\ time\ i\ was\ in\ my\ friends\ bathroom\ taking\ a\ shit\ and\ i\ was\ reading\ a\ \nmaxim\ magazine\ that\ was\ by\ the\ toilet\ and\ saw\ some\ semi\ nude\ shots\ of\ some\ \nmodel\ (i\ dont\ even\ remember\ who)\ and\ i\ had\ the\ sudden\ urge\ to\ masturbate.\ i\ \ncontinued\ to\ do\ so\ and\ cleaned\ up\ and\ went\ out\ as\ if\ nothing\ happened.\ \ it\ \nwas\ exhilarating\ and\ i\ wanted\ to\ do\ it\ again.\ so\ i\ did.\ several\ times.\ i\ \neven\ asked\ to\ use\ his\ shower\ so\ i\ could\ secretly\ masturbate\ in\ there.\ i\ like\ \ndoing\ this\ because\ it's\ a\ top\ secret\ that\ only\ i\ know,\ and\ i\ can\ laugh\ about\ \nstuff\ and\ no\ one\ will\ ever\ know.\ i\ also\ like\ to\ masturbate\ on\ days\ in\ which\ \nkey\ events\ happened.\ 9/11\ being\ my\ TOP\ yearly\ ritual.\ \"never\ forget\"\ about\ \nchristmas\ and\ thanksgiving.\ sometimes\ mark-paul\ gosselaar's\ birthday\ when\ i\ \ncan\ remember\ it.\n%\nRecently,\ as\ a\ reward\ for\ getting\ straight\ 'A's\ I\ took\ my\ son\ to\ a\ CompUSA\ \nand\ told\ him\ he\ could\ have\ any\ computer\ he\ wanted.\ Imagine\ my\ disgust\ when\ \nhe\ selected\ a\ mac\ mini.\ It's\ as\ if\ I\ took\ him\ to\ a\ whorehouse\ for\ his\ first\ \nlay\ and\ he\ wound\ up\ getting\ head\ from\ the\ bouncer.\ Where\ did\ I\ fail\ as\ a\ \nfather?\n%\nPepsi\ generation\ refers\ to\ the\ generation\ of\ free\ radicals\ in\ your\ system\ \nwhen\ you\ imbibe\ this\ caustic\ brew.\ Parents,\ if\ you\ have\ any\ regard\ for\ the\ \nhealth\ of\ your\ children,\ do\ not\ allow\ them\ to\ drink\ this\ devil\ beverage\ \nwhich\ promotes\ among\ other\ ills:\ skateboarding,\ loud\ music,\ drug\ (caffine)\ \nuse,\ disrespect\ to\ elders,\ race\ mixing\ and\ in\ general,\ the\ kind\ of\ eXtreme\ \nliving\ expressly\ forbid\ by\ the\ our\ lord\ and\ savior,\ Mohammed\ in\ the\ holy\ \nKorang.\ (PBUH)\n%\nI\ was\ recently\ made\ the\ victim\ of\ an\ ICMP\ \"flood\".\ \ After\ hurricane\ Katrina,\ \nit\ is\ inexcusable\ that\ this\ kind\ of\ thing\ should\ happen.\ \ It\ is\ now\ crystal\ \nclear\ that\ Bush\ doesn't\ care\ much\ about\ net\ people.\n%\nI'D\ LOVE\ TO\ BE\ THE\ ONLY\ FEMALE\ AT\ A\ \"SUPER-BOWL\"\ PARTY\ MADE\ UP\ OF\ 4-6\ MEN!\ \nTHE\ MEN\ TALK\ ME\ INTO\ MAKING\ A\ FRIENDLY\ WAGER\ ON\ THE\ 1/2\ TIME\ SCORE.\ IF\ THE\ \nFELLAS\ TEAM\ IS\ LOSING\ AT\ 1/2\ TIME...I\ GET\ \$1000.00...IF\ THE\ TEAM\ THEY\ CHOSE\ \nIS\ WINNING...THEY\ ALL\ GET\ \"ME\"\ TO\ DO\ AS\ THEY\ PLEASE!!!\n%\nThe\ government\ today\ announced\ that\ it\ is\ changing\ its\ emblem\ from\ an\ Eagle\ \nto\ a\ CONDOM\ because\ it\ more\ \ accurately\ reflects\ the\ government's\ political\ \nstance.\ A\ condom\ allows\ for\ inflation,\ halts\ production,\ destroys\ the\ next\ \ngeneration,\ protects\ a\ bunch\ of\ pricks,\ and\ gives\ you\ a\ sense\ of\ security\ \nwhile\ you're\ actually\ being\ screwed.\n%\nLinux\ was\ never\ \"free\"\ in\ either\ sense\ of\ the\ word.\ You\ may\ have\ had\ \ndownloaded\ Linux\ onto\ your\ computer\ for\ free\ but\ someone\ paid\ for\ it.\ In\ my\ \ncase,\ does\ anyone\ know\ how\ I\ can\ trade\ child\ porn\ with\ other\ Linux\ \nenthusiasts.\ Hit\ me\ back.\n%\nI\ believe\ that\ racial\ profiling\ is\ another\ necessary\ evil.\ Its\ existence\ is\ \nthe\ fault\ of\ the\ G-Unit,\ a\ popular\ \"hip-hop\"\ artist,\ whose\ name\ is\ clearly\ \nthe\ subliminal\ message\ \"GUN\ IT\".\ He\ is\ reinforcing\ the\ concept\ in\ the\ noble\ \nwhite\ mind\ that\ rappers\ today\ are\ the\ tool\ of\ satan,\ coaxing\ the\ young\ and\ \nuneducated\ nigger\ into\ a\ life\ of\ violence\ by\ instructing\ him\ to\ deal\ with\ \nhis\ problems\ using\ firearms.\n%\nLinux\ is\ an\ OS\ where\ files\ have\ no\ association\ to\ programs\;\ all\ \nconfiguration\ and\ settings\ are\ stored\ \"wherever\"\ in\ text\ files\ that\ grow\ to\ \nbe\ megabytes\ long\;\ most\ shell\ commands\ are\ so\ abstractly\ named\ that\ you\ \nwould\ never\ be\ able\ to\ use\ them\ without\ knowing\ how\ they\ work..\ or\ first\ \nreading\ its\ \"manual\ page\".\nLinux\ is\ an\ operating\ system\ of\ inconsistancy.\ Theres\ over\ a\ thousand\ \ndistributions\ of\ linux,\ and\ over\ a\ billion\ different\ modified\ versions\ of\ \nit.\ Programs\ come\ shipped\ as\ source\ code\ that\ you\ must\ compile\ and\ configure\ \n(by\ way\ of\ large\ scripts\ that\ attempt\ to\ figure\ out\ how\ your\ system\ is\ \nrunning..\ since\ nothing\ is\ standard).\n%\nLinux\ is\ a\ form\ of\ mental\ sickness\;\ a\ security\ blanket\ left\ over\ from\ the\ \nchildhood\ of\ the\ Computer\ Age.\ The\ sooner\ \"Tux\"\ and\ his\ travelling\ freak\ \nshow\ pack\ it\ up\ and\ move\ on,\ the\ better.\n%\nAny\ east\ slim/lean\ chinese\ nsf/nsreg/sec/jc/scouts/npcc/ncc\ uniform\ boys\ \nintrested\ roleplay\ kidnapping/tying\ up\ fun\ in\ full\ uniform\ attire?\ 23\ chn\ \nmale\ 171\ 100\ fat\ guy\ here\ in\ Bedok\ North.\ Pls\ mesg\ me\ if\ intrested,\ thanks.\n%\nSurprisingly,\ my\ healthy\ pussy\ emanates\ a\ fragrance\ EXACTLY\ like\ steaming\ \nhot\ french\ fries\ from\ McDonald's.\ Days\ when\ the\ smell\ is\ particularly\ \nstrong,\ it\ makes\ me\ long\ for\ a\ large\ Dr\ Pepper\ with\ plenty\ of\ ice.\ And\ it\ \nmakes\ my\ stomach\ growl,\ particularly\ in\ the\ mornings.\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ a\ basic\ land\ card,\ because\ i\ just\ tapped\ you\ and\ now\ i\ got\ \nmana\ burn\n%\nI\ just\ got\ back\ from\ my\ trip\ to\ Africa\ and\ man\ was\ it\ great!\ First\ we\ landed\ \nin\ South\ Africa\ and\ while\ there\ I\ actually\ got\ to\ meet\ Nelson\ Mandela.\ He\ \nwas\ a\ very\ gracious\ and\ interesting\ host.\nThen\ we\ were\ on\ to\ Kenya.\ While\ there\ I\ got\ to\ see\ lions\ and\ elephants\ in\ \nthe\ wild.\ A\ rhino\ actually\ chased\ the\ hummer\ we\ were\ riding\ in,\ but\ I\ think\ \nthe\ driver\ prompted\ it\ to.\ I\ also\ saw\ a\ few\ giraffes\ and\ crocs.\ Then\ we\ went\ \nup\ to\ Nigeria\ and\ saw\ the\ different\ cultures\ of\ people\ that\ were\ there.\ I\ \nactually\ got\ to\ visit\ and\ internet\ cafe\ and\ check\ my\ emails!\ Then\ we\ got\ a\ \nguided\ tour\ down\ the\ Niger\ River.\ Man\ that\ was\ the\ funnest\ part\ of\ the\ \nentire\ tour.\ I\ saw\ several\ large\ snakes\ hanging\ from\ trees\ and\ lots\ of\ \ncrocodiles.\ Then\ we\ saw\ a\ gang\ of\ Ubangi-Lips\ rape\ a\ 6\ year\ old\ girl\ and\ eat\ \nher\ father\ afterwards.\ It\ was\ awesome.\n%\none\ time\ i\ tried\ to\ stick\ an\ egg\ back\ into\ a\ chicken,\ i\ think\ it\ gave\ the\ \nchicken\ an\ orgasm\ because\ all\ this\ liquid\ came\ out\ all\ over\ my\ hands\ and\ the\ \nchicken\ started\ to\ squawk\ and\ flap\ its\ wings.\ maybe\ im\ weird\ but\ this\ was\ a\ \nmajor\ turn-on!\n%\nI\ need\ pictures\ of\ your\ fingernails\ for\ a\ research\ project\ I\ am\ doing\ for\ \nColumbia\ University.\ Preferably\ extreme\ closeup\ of\ your\ cuticles.\ If\ you\ \ncould\ cut\ them\ slightly\ open\ with\ a\ razor\ blade,\ just\ so\ a\ little\ blood\ \nleaks\ onto\ them..\ that\ would\ be\ awesome.\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ gasoline\ because\ even\ though\ you're\ pricey,\ I'm\ still\ \ngoing\ to\ pump\ you\ in\ my\ van\n%\nWhoa!\ If\ flames\ were\ an\ alternative\ power\ source,\ this\ would\ be\ a\ nuclear\ \nreactor.\ Very\ good\ trolling,\ sir!\ I\ laud\ your\ recent\ accomplishments\ and\ \nexpect\ to\ read\ of\ your\ exploits\ in\ the\ latest\ trolling\ journals.\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ Six\ Flag's\ newest\ roller\ coaster\ because\ some\ rednecks\ told\ \nme\ that\ they\ have\ been\ saving\ up\ their\ money\ all\ summer\ to\ ride\ you\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ a\ black\ market\ organ\ harvester\ cause\ you\ just\ stole\ my\ heart\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ Doom\ 3\ cause\ when\ the\ action\ starts\ the\ lights\ go\ out\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ open\ source\ because\ the\ entire\ fucking\ high\ school\ class\ \nhas\ seen\ your\ internal\ workings\ and\ tinkered\ with\ them\n%\nYour\ \"guess\"\ is\ completely\ wrong.\ Just\ because\ animals\ can't\ talk\ doesn't\ \nmean\ they\ can't\ give\ consent.\ Animals\ have\ teeth,\ claws\ and\ can\ give\ audible\ \nwarnings\ (growling,\ hissing,\ etc.)\ to\ voice\ their\ opposition\ to\ a\ sex\ act\ \nbeing\ performed\ on\ them.\n\ \ \ Also,\ many\ animals\ are\ quite\ intelligent\ and\ have\ a\ much\ faster\ \nneurodevelopmental\ rate\ than\ humans,\ reaching\ mental\ adulthood\ at\ extremely\ \nyoung\ ages\ by\ human\ standards.\ Finally,\ many\ animals\ are\ fully\ grown\ at\ much\ \nyounger\ ages\ than\ humans,\ so\ they're\ physically\ prepared\ for\ sex\ at\ younger\ \nages.\n\ \ \ Comparing\ animals\ to\ children\ is\ absolutely\ ridiculous,\ and\ in\ some\ ways\ \neven\ insulting\ to\ animals.\ Please\ do\ your\ homework\ before\ adopting\ a\ stance\ \non\ an\ issue\ you\ got\ from\ a\ blatantly-conservative\ source.\n%\nI\ hate\ this\ hypocritical\ bullshit.\ So\ I\ can\ can\ take\ a\ cow,\ shoot\ it\ in\ the\ \nface,\ cut\ out\ its\ tongue,\ gut\ it,\ cut\ it\ into\ million\ cubes\ and\ eat\ them,\ \nthen\ wear\ it's\ skin...but\ I\ can't\ love\ one?\ I\ can't\ make\ one\ feel\ special?\ I\ \ncan't\ physically\ express\ all\ the\ love\ I\ have\ for\ it?\ Fuck\ America.\n%\nI\ prefer\ to\ open\ the\ conversation\ with\ light\ banter\ about\ my\ wardrobe\ and\ \njewelry,\ then\ I\ like\ to\ discuss\ my\ collection\ of\ expensive\ cars.\ This\ is\ \nmore\ than\ enough\ to\ convince\ you\ to\ have\ sexual\ intercourse\ with\ me.\n%\nGo\ back\ to\ jacking\ off\ to\ your\ anime\ girls.\ Leave\ the\ real\ women\ to\ real\ men.\n%\nThere's\ something\ hypocritical\ about\ a\ country\ that\ fails\ to\ establish\ \nadequate\ limits\ to\ medical\ testing\ on\ animals\ and\ adequate\ guidelines\ for\ \ntreatment\ of\ fur\ and\ meat\ animals\ yet\ makes\ the\ sale\ of\ all\ crush\ videos\ \n(including\ those\ depicting\ the\ extermination\ of\ bugs,\ worms\ and\ rats)\ \nillegal.\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ herpes\ because\ every\ time\ I\ think\ i'm\ rid\ of\ you,\ there\ you\ \nare\ on\ my\ dick\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ ghonorrea\ because\ you're\ totally\ eating\ my\ nuts\n%\nY'ALL\ HURD\ ABOUT\ DA\ HEERRIKANE?\ \ YO\ KATRINA\ WAS\ CAUZED\ BY\ WMDs\ YA\ HEARD?\ \ \nDAS\ RITE\ YO.\ \ WEAPONS\ OF\ METEORLOGICAL\ DESTRUCTION.\ DA\ INSURGENTS\ ND\ DA\ \nTALIBAN\ R\ BEHIND\ ALL\ DIS.\ \ ND\ FEMA\ IS\ RACIZICALIST\ TOO.\ BUSH\ DON'T\ CARE\ \nABOUT\ BLACK\ PEEPLE.\n%\nNo,\ actually,\ I\ am\ not\ fat.\ I\ have\ about\ a\ 10%\ bodyfat,\ actually.\ I\ lift\ \nweights\ all\ the\ time\ that\ I\ am\ not\ playing\ video\ gamez\ (ps2\ sucks).\n%\nThank\ you\ for\ giving\ me\ a\ glimpse\ into\ the\ wonderfully\ vivid\ and\ imaginative\ \nworld\ that\ you\ occupy.\ I\ feel...honored...to\ say\ the\ least.\ Words\ can\ not\ \nexpress\ my\ gratitude\ that\ you\ would\ grant\ upon\ us\ put\ a\ peephole\ into\ the\ \nglorious\ universe\ that\ you\ are\ so\ priviledged\ to\ occupy\ from\ 9-5\ every\ \nsingle\ weekday.\ I\ am\ envious\ but\ I\ know\ it\ is\ because\ God\ has\ favored\ you\ \nabove\ me...you\ are\ TRULY\ worthy.\n%\nI\ love\ both\ dog\ cock\ and\ Negro\ cock,\ but\ that\ is\ hardly\ any\ reason\ to\ make\ \neither\ dogs\ or\ Negroes\ American\ citizens.\ Just\ as\ there\ will\ be\ ways\ to\ \nenjoy\ Chinese\ food\ without\ flooding\ America\ with\ Chinese\ asylum-seekers,\ \nthere\ will\ be\ ways\ for\ you\ to\ enjoy\ Negro\ cock\ without\ allowing\ large\ \nnumbers\ of\ Negroes\ to\ roam\ about\ destroying\ American\ infrastructures.\n%\none\ time\ this\ guy\ showed\ me\ his\ 'drug\ free'\ tattoo\ so\ one\ day\ me\ and\ my\ \nbuddies\ pinned\ this\ guy\ down\ and\ injected\ him\ with\ heroin.\ he\ was\ kicking\ \nand\ screaming\ and\ we\ all\ laughed\ and\ the\ next\ day\ we\ found\ out\ he\ killed\ \nhimself\ LOL\n%\nFuck\ them\ boo\ boos\ I\ guess\ some\ of\ those\ jack\ asses\ should\ have\ cashed\ their\ \nwelfare\ check\ and\ gotten\ some\ swimming\ lessons\ instead\ of\ blowing\ it\ on\ \nhennessy,\ spinning\ rims,\ and\ crack!\n%\nThe\ cowardly,\ girly-men\ faggot\ Muslim\ and\ Arab\ subhumans\ are\ quite\ another\ \nmatter.\ Islamists\ do\ not\ accept\ the\ United\ States\ as\ it\ is,\ and\ actively\ \nwant\ to\ change\ it\ into\ a\ majority\ Muslim\ country\ where\ the\ Quran\ replaces\ \nthe\ Constitution.\ The\ lib-dems\ run\ \"PC\ interference\"\ for\ America-haters,\ \nobscuring\ the\ true\ details\ and\ the\ important\ dialogue\ on\ all\ issues.\ We\ love\ \n\"diversity\"\ and\ \"multi-culturism\",\ don\n%\nLast\ weekend\ I\ slept\ over\ at\ a\ friend's\ house,\ but\ forgot\ to\ bring\ an\ extra\ \npair\ of\ underwear.\ He\ offered\ to\ let\ me\ borrow\ a\ pair\ of\ his.\ Well,\ we\ went\ \nfor\ a\ long\ car\ ride,\ and\ long\ story\ short...I\ shit\ in\ his\ underwear.\ Not\ a\ \nlot,\ but\ whoever\ did\ the\ laundry\ would\ definitely\ notice.\ When\ we\ got\ home,\ \nI\ pulled\ him\ aside\ and\ told\ him\ about\ it.\ \"Pull\ down\ your\ pants.\ I\ want\ to\ \nsee\ the\ damage,\"\ he\ replied.\ I\ was\ somewhat\ taken\ aback\ by\ this\ response.\ It\ \nwas\ his\ underwear\ after\ all,\ so\ I\ obliged.\ I\ pulled\ down\ my\ pants,\ and\ then\ \ncarefully\ lowered\ my\ underwear.\ I\ was\ surprised\ by\ how\ much\ shit\ there\ \nreally\ was.\ There\ were\ streaks\ all\ over\ my\ legs\ from\ when\ I\ had\ pulled\ the\ \nshorts\ down,\ and\ my\ penis\ was\ covered\ in\ shit.\ How\ had\ it\ even\ gotten\ that\ \nfar?\"Jesus,\"\ he\ exclaimed.\ \"That's\ a\ lot\ of\ shit.\"\ Then\ he\ got\ down\ on\ his\ \nknees\ and\ licked\ the\ underwear\ clean.\ When\ he\ was\ done\ with\ that,\ he\ slurped\ \nthe\ shit\ off\ my\ cock\ and\ balls.\ What\ a\ day!\n%\nHow\ on\ earth\ do\ i\ open\ taorent\ files?\ when\ i\ try\ openoing\ with\ winzip\ or\ win\ \nrar\ it\ tells\ me\ teh\ file\ is\ damaged\ ??\n%\njesus\ I\ spent\ the\ formative\ years\ of\ my\ childhood\ masturbating\ to\ a\ shemale\ \nsprite\n%\nMy\ hole\ day\ in\ skateboarding\ is\ just\ wake\ up\ when\ ever\ you\ feel\ like\ it\ eat\ \nthen\ go\ meet\ a\ few\ friends\ skate\ chill\ skate\ get\ something\ to\ eat\ then\ skate\ \nchill\ run\ from\ the\ pigs\ and\ skate\ then\ go\ to\ sleep\ about\ 4\ or\ 5\ in\ the\ \nmorning.\n%\nJeff's\ balls\ are\ about\ 3\ inches\ in\ diameter.\ They\ are\ green\ and\ hairy.\ When\ \nin\ public,\ Jeff\ will\ often\ expose\ his\ balls\ as\ a\ way\ of\ calming\ a\ crowd.\ \nOften\ in\ a\ fit\ of\ anger\ Jeff\ will\ whip\ one\ of\ his\ balls\ at\ someone\ who\ is\ \nmisbehaving.\ Most\ people\ prefer\ not\ to\ come\ in\ contact\ with\ Jeff's\ balls.\n%\nIt\ is\ indeed\ a\ cruel\ twist\ of\ nature\ that\ the\ most\ wonderful\ sex\ coupling\ in\ \nthe\ world\ ?is\ illegal\ -\ made\ so\ by\ puritanical\ Adults\ determined\ to\ limit\ \nchild\ rights.\n%\nim\ a\ computer\ geek??\ im\ not\ the\ one\ who\ spends\ his\ time\ on\ multiple\ forums,\ \nim\ not\ the\ one\ who\ comes\ here\ day\ and\ night\ for\ almost\ every\ day\ of\ the\ week\ \nand\ talks\ about\ making\ fun\ of\ people\ on\ the\ internet.\ christ,\ get\ a\ life\n%\nAs\ someone\ erotically\ attracted\ to\ balloons,\ a\ question\ \ close\ to\ my\ heart\ \nis\ \"to\ pop\ or\ not\ to\ pop?\"\ Flame\ wars\ over\ this\ very\ issue\ take\ up\ a\ \nsignificant\ amount\ of\ space\ on\ the\ balloon\ fetish\ chatrooms\ I\ frequent.\ I\ \nfind\ that\ while\ non-poppers\ feel\ an\ emotional\ attachment\ to\ balloons\ and\ can\ \nget\ quite\ protective\ of\ their\ inflatable\ friends\;\ poppers\ such\ as\ myself\ see\ \nno\ point\ to\ jerking\ off\ with\ balloons\ unless\ they\ explode.\ Your\ thoughts?\n%\nWhen\ the\ female\ of\ a\ species\ is\ more\ promiscuous,\ the\ male\ has\ to\ work\ \nharder\ to\ keep\ his\ woman,\ and\ thus\ reproduce.\ It\ is\ easier\ for\ him\ to\ keep\ \nher\ entertained\ if\ he\ has\ a\ more\ impressive\ dick,\ which\ means\ that\ the\ \nbetter\ endowed\ male\ can\ reproduce\ more\ than\ another\ male\ who\ is\ not\ so\ well\ \nendowed.\ In\ a\ species\ where\ the\ women\ are\ more\ loyal,\ this\ isn't\ so\ \nnecessary.\ So\ if\ the\ coons\ have\ the\ biggest\ penises,\ all\ that\ tells\ you\ is\ \nthat\ the\ blacks\ have\ humanity's\ most\ slutty\ women.\ I'm\ prepared\ to\ believe\ \nthat\ that\ is\ true.\n%\nWow\ you're\ life\ is\ so\ complete.\ Havning\ to\ use\ a\ drug\ to\ have\ fun\ and\ \nlistening\ to\ sucky\ music\ must\ make\ you\ so\ cool.\ Partying\ with\ women\ who\ have\ \nbeen\ passed\ around\ more\ times\ then\ your\ mom\ must\ make\ you\ a\ pimp.\n%\nif\ you\ want\ people\ to\ think\ you\ know\ what\ you\ are\ talking\ about,\ just\ put\ \n\".com\"\ at\ the\ end\ of\ everything\ you\ say.com\n%\nso\ i\ get\ home\ from\ work,\ ready\ to\ cook\ some\ chicken\ things\ in\ the\ microwave\ \n(oven\ is\ broke),\ i\ read\ the\ instructions\ to\ see\ about\ how\ long\ to\ put\ them\ \nin\ for..\ the\ damn\ instructions\ say,\ for\ microwave\ cooking,\ to\ put\ them\ in\ \nthe\ microwave\ for\ 3\ minutes\ AND\ THEN\ put\ them\ in\ a\ oven\ for\ 15.\ hey\ \nstouffers\ you\ lame\ retarded\ fucks,\ if\ i\ had\ a\ god\ damn\ oven\ i\ would\ use\ the\ \nshit\ to\ begin\ with.\ it's\ called\ microwave\ cooking\ for\ a\ reason.\ THANK\ YOU\ \nCOME\ AGAIN\n%\nAt\ first,\ the\ idea\ sounded\ unthinkable.\ Use\ my\ hand\ to\ wipe\ my\ ass?\ \nDisgusting!\ But\ after\ 10\ minutes\ of\ waiting,\ I\ decided\ that\ it\ was\ my\ only\ \noption.\ I\ slowly\ lowered\ my\ right\ hand\ under\ my\ butt\ and\ scooped\ all\ the\ \nfecal\ matter\ from\ my\ bottom.\ Not\ only\ did\ it\ feel\ gross,\ but\ now\ I\ had\ a\ \nwhole\ new\ set\ of\ problems.\ One\ simply\ does\ not\ walk\ out\ of\ a\ bathroom\ stall\ \nin\ a\ public\ restroom\ with\ one\ hand\ covered\ in\ shit.\ I\ sat\ there\ petrified,\ \nhoping\ for\ a\ miracle.\ But\ no\ miracles\ came.\ I\ was\ alone.\ Or\ so\ I\ thought.\ A\ \nknock\ on\ the\ stall\ door\ sprang\ me\ into\ action.\ \"One\ second,\"\ I\ called\ out,\ \nand\ in\ one\ quick\ movement\ I\ shoved\ the\ defacation\ into\ my\ mouth.\ When\ I\ tell\ \nthis\ story,\ what\ most\ people\ find\ most\ surprising\ was\ that\ I\ didn't\ gag\ \nimmediately.\ In\ fact,\ the\ stuff\ tasted\ rather\ good.\ Scratch\ that...it\ was\ \norgasmic.\ And\ the\ texture\ -\ there\ is\ nothing\ like\ it.\ After\ swishing\ the\ \npoop\ cusisine\ around\ my\ mouth\ for\ a\ few\ moments,\ I\ gulped\ it\ down.\ Up\ until\ \nthat\ moment,\ I\ hadn't\ realized\ how\ hungry\ I\ was.\ Suddenly,\ I\ wanted\ more,\ \nand\ fast!\ With\ my\ pants\ still\ at\ my\ ankles,\ I\ threw\ open\ the\ stall\ door\ and\ \ngrabbed\ the\ elderly\ gentleman\ who\ had\ been\ patiently\ waiting.\ \"Give\ me\ all\ \nyour\ shit,\ and\ make\ it\ fast.\"\ By\ the\ end\ of\ that\ glorious\ day,\ I\ had\ tasted\ \nthe\ shit\ of\ more\ than\ 100\ men,\ and\ a\ few\ women\ too.\n%\nAs\ I\ was\ reading\ that,\ my\ cat\ rubbed\ against\ my\ leg,\ and\ it\ surprised\ me.\ \nBut\ it\ felt\ kind\ of\ good,\ so\ I\ let\ her\ continue.\ After\ about\ five\ minutes\ of\ \nthis,\ I\ was\ feeling\ pretty\ horny,\ and\ from\ her\ erect\ nipples,\ I\ could\ tell\ \nmy\ cat\ was\ too.\ I\ picked\ her\ up\ and\ put\ her\ in\ my\ lap.\ She\ purred\ as\ I\ \nunzipped\ my\ pants,\ revealing\ my\ enormous\ boner.\ Then,\ without\ warning,\ she\ \nbit\ the\ head\ of\ my\ penis\ with\ her\ sharp\ fangs.\ Blood\ was\ everywhere,\ and\ i\ \nstared\ in\ horror\ as\ she\ began\ to\ claw\ at\ my\ blood-spattered\ testicles.\ I\ \ngrabbed\ a\ pair\ of\ scissors\ and\ snipped\ off\ her\ tail.\ She\ meowed\ loudly\ and\ \nscurried\ away.\ I\ guess\ we\ were\ not\ ready\ to\ take\ our\ relationship\ to\ the\ \nnext\ level.\n%\nIs\ it\ not\ weirder\ to\ drink\ cow's\ milk\ which\ is\ truly\ intended\ for\ baby\ cows?\ \nThe\ answer:\ Hell\ no!\ The\ only\ thing\ weirder\ than\ me\ drinking\ breast\ milk,\ is\ \nthe\ fact\ that\ milk\ is\ coming\ out\ of\ my\ wife's\ chest\ in\ the\ first\ place.\ It\ \nsure\ as\ hell\ didn't\ do\ that\ when\ I\ met\ her.\ I'm\ telling\ you,\ the\ whole\ thing\ \nis\ lunacy.\ I\ love\ my\ wife,\ but\ does\ she\ really\ have\ to\ be\ such\ a\ mammal?\n%\nSome\ say\ that\ I\ am\ the\ king\ of\ trolls.\ Of\ course,\ this\ is\ ridiculous\ because\ \ntrolls\ have\ no\ king\ and\ accept\ no\ authority.\n%\nDon�t\ let\ anybody\ ever\ tell\ you\ that\ Japan\ is\ just\ another\ foreign\ country.\ \nIt\ is\ much\ more\ than\ that.\ My\ story\ begins\ in\ the\ summer\ of\ 1983.\ I\ was\ an\ \nexpert\ negotiator,\ and\ that\ was\ what\ brought\ me\ to\ an\ exclusive\ resort\ \noutside\ of\ Tokyo.\ Two\ large\ Japanese\ electronics\ companies\ were\ attempting\ a\ \nmerger\ of\ some\ sorts.\ After\ two\ fruitless\ days\ of\ negotiations,\ I\ figured\ \nout\ a\ way\ to\ make\ everybody\ happy.\ I\ made\ some\ phone\ calls,\ and\ pretty\ soon\ \nall\ the\ executives\ were\ standing\ in\ the\ conference\ room,\ glaring\ angrily\ at\ \nme.\ �Gentlemen,\ may\ I\ present,\ Ling.�\ A\ buxom\ young\ Japanese\ schoolgirl\ \nentered\ the\ room.\ What\ she\ lacked\ in\ age,\ she\ made\ up\ for\ in\ sex\ appeal.\ The\ \nroom\ went\ silent.\ I\ was\ terrified.\ Had\ I\ made\ a\ mistake?\ Suddenly,\ the\ \nexecutives\ all\ burst\ out\ laughing.\ Then,\ one\ by\ one,\ each\ executive\ removed\ \nhis\ pants\ and\ began\ furiously\ masturbating\ over\ the\ young\ female,\ while\ I\ \nstood\ watching.\ Even\ now,\ as\ I\ write\ this,\ I\ am\ getting\ an\ erection,\ \nthinking\ about\ all\ those\ precious\ little\ penises\ waving\ wildly\ about.\ \nFinally,\ after\ the\ last\ load\ had\ erupted\ onto\ the\ face\ of\ the\ girl,\ whose\ \nslanted\ eyes\ were\ almost\ completely\ covered\ in\ goo,\ I\ walked\ up\ to\ her\ and\ \nlapped\ up\ every\ last\ drop\ of\ milky\ goodness.\ Oh,\ how\ I\ love\ Japan.\n%\nEvery\ time\ somebody\ starts\ hating\ on\ the\ president,\ it\ really\ bothers\ me.\ \nDon�t\ get\ me\ wrong,\ I\ hate\ the\ current\ administration\ as\ much\ as\ the\ next\ \npolitically\ minded\ citizen,\ but\ it�s\ really\ self-defeating.\ You\ see,\ the\ \npresident\ is\ not\ really\ who\ you\ think\ he\ is.\ He�s\ not\ the\ guy\ who\ makes\ \nthese\ decisions\ that\ piss\ you\ off.\ He\ looks\ like\ he\ makes\ the\ decisions.\ He\ \nsounds\ like\ he\ is\ making\ the\ decisions.\ In\ reality,\ he�s\ just\ the\ guy\ that\ \nhas\ to\ sell\ them\ to\ you.\ He\ is\ an\ actor,\ pretending\ to\ care\ about\ the\ \ncountry.\ He\ probably\ even\ believes\ he\ is\ actually\ the\ president.\ That�s\ one\ \nof\ the\ reasons\ why\ people\ like\ him\ at\ all.\ Another\ reason\ is\ that\ he\ sucks\ a\ \nlot\ of\ dick.\ And\ when\ I\ say\ a\ lot,\ I\ am\ not\ kidding.\ Like,\ we�re\ talking\ \nmillions\ of\ big,\ wet,\ floppy\ cocks\ getting\ shoved\ in\ his\ mouth\ over\ the\ past\ \nmonth\ alone.\n%\nLet\ me\ get\ this\ straight:\ the\ oil\ companies\ pressure\ the\ U.S.\ government\ \ninto\ invading\ Iraq,\ and\ then\ they\ expect\ us\ to\ be\ grateful\ when\ they\ donate\ \na\ measly\ \$4k\ to\ the\ hurricane\ relief\ effort?\ An\ effort,\ by\ the\ way,\ that\ has\ \nbeen\ severely\ hampered\ by\ the\ fact\ that\ most\ members\ of\ the\ national\ guard\ \nare\ currently\ halfway\ across\ the\ world.\ There's\ no\ way\ for\ them\ to\ come\ back\ \nto\ help\ out,\ and\ even\ if\ they\ could,\ those\ guys\ are\ exhausted.\ One\ of\ my\ \nbuddies\ from\ high\ school\ joined\ the\ national\ guard\ and\ ended\ up\ in\ Iraq,\ of\ \nall\ places.\ He\ told\ me\ that\ between\ the\ constant\ bombings,\ the\ desert\ heat,\ \nthe\ buttfucking,\ the\ cumguzzling,\ the\ gangbanging,\ and\ the\ surprise\ \ncircumcisions,\ there\ is\ hardly\ any\ time\ to\ sleep.\n%\nlast\ night\ i\ had\ this\ dream\ that\ i\ was\ going\ to\ the\ bathroom,\ like\ pissing\ \nin\ a\ full\ size\ urinal\ (all\ the\ way\ from\ the\ ground\ up,\ like\ 4\ feet\ high),\ \nwhen\ all\ of\ a\ sudden\ i\ look\ to\ my\ right\ and\ there\ is\ this\ old\ lady\ standing\ \nnext\ to\ me\ doing\ like\ the\ fake\ pissing\ thing,\ holding\ nothing,\ and\ staring\ \nat\ my\ wang,\ which\ is\ now\ hard.\ \ all\ of\ a\ sudden\ she\ jumps\ into\ my\ urinal,\ \nnote\ i\ am\ still\ pissing,\ and\ shoves\ my\ cock\ into\ her\ mouth\ and\ starts\ giving\ \nme\ head.\ \ don't\ forget\ i\ am\ still\ pissing.\ \ so\ she's\ goin\ down\ on\ me\ like\ \nshe\ hasn't\ had\ cock\ in\ 40\ years,\ which\ she\ probably\ hasn't\ and\ i\ finish\ \npissing\ all\ over\ her,\ so\ i\ reach\ over\ and\ flush\ and\ just\ leave.\ \ she\ sits\ \nthere\ in\ the\ urinal\ as\ i\ leave\ and\ there\ is\ this\ indian\ couple,\ the\ wife\ is\ \npregnant,\ who\ is\ just\ coming\ into\ the\ bathroom\ wondering\ what\ the\ hell\ i\ am\ \ndoing.\ \ i\ wave\ and\ smile\ and\ say\ hello,\ at\ which\ point\ i\ casually\ walk\ out\ \nof\ the\ bathroom.\ \ when\ i\ get\ out\ of\ the\ bathroom\ my\ company\ is\ having\ a\ \nmeeting\ so\ i\ sit\ down\ and\ all\ of\ a\ sudden\ this\ retarded\ guy\ who\ works\ here\ \nstarts\ beating\ me\ up,\ at\ which\ point\ i\ wake\ up.\n%\nI\ often\ find\ myself\ contemplating\ what\ it\ would\ be\ like\ if\ an\ elephant\ threw\ \nup\ but\ its\ mouth\ was\ closed.\ Would\ it\ throw\ up\ out\ its\ trunk?\ And\ if\ so,\ \nthat\ leads\ me\ to\ my\ next\ question:\ Would\ it\ make\ that\ elephant\ noise\ when\ \nthe\ throw-up\ comes\ out?\ I\ have\ played\ this\ scenario\ in\ my\ head\ every\ day\ and\ \nnight\ for\ the\ last\ ten\ years\ and\ the\ more\ I\ think\ about\ it\ the\ more\ firmly\ \nconvinced\ am\ I\ that\ the\ answer\ to\ both\ questions\ is\ in\ the\ positive.\ Discuss.\n%\nI'd\ love\ to\ have\ a\ man\ as\ my\ girlfriend\ and\ who\ would\ greet\ me\ each\ morning\ \nin\ a\ new\ an\ refreshing\ way.\ A\ spray\ of\ hot\ piss,\ a\ dick\ up\ the\ ass,\ an\ ass\ \npressed\ against\ my\ face,\ farts\ in\ my\ face,\ all\ the\ while\ waking\ up\ to\ a\ \nbeautiful\ man\ on\ some\ dim\ morning\ sunrise,\ light\ shining\ through\ the\ \ncurtains\ onto\ his\ perfectly\ formed\ pectorals\ and\ the\ silk\ sheets\ layed\ upon\ \nhis\ body\ reveleaing\ enough\ of\ his\ penis\ to\ make\ me\ realise\ how\ lucky\ and\ how\ \nwonderful\ i\ am.\ I\ prefer\ men\ and\ I\ date\ exclusively\ black\ men.\n%\nThe\ first\ thing\ you\ need\ to\ understand\ is\ that\ the\ government\ does\ not\ \nrepresent\ the\ people.\ It\ represents\ the\ corporations.\ The\ second\ thing\ you\ \nneed\ to\ understand\ is\ that\ hurricane\ Katrina\ is\ not\ a\ natural\ disaster.\ It\ \nwas\ a\ product,\ paid\ for\ by\ the\ U.S.\ government,\ and\ created\ by\ a\ \nChinese-built\ weather\ device.\ Think\ about\ it:\ who\ benefits\ from\ a\ natural\ \ndisaster\ like\ this?\ First\ and\ foremost,\ construction\ companies.\ New\ Orleans\ \nneeds\ to\ be\ completely\ rebuilt.\ Second,\ the\ government.\ Every\ moment\ of\ \nairtime\ that\ the\ president\ gets\ to\ talk\ about\ saving\ lives\ rather\ than\ the\ \nwar\ in\ Iraq\ means\ another\ vote\ in\ the\ next\ election.\ Lastly,\ mankind\ \nbenefitted\ a\ little\ from\ all\ those\ niggers\ drowning.\n%\nThe\ existence\ of\ \"foreigners\"\ is\ a\ common\ liberal\ myth.\ The\ self-styled\ \nintellectual\ elite,\ attempting\ to\ push\ their\ own\ petty\ agendas\ on\ the\ rest\ \nof\ us,\ invented\ the\ idea\ of\ \"foreigners\"\ to\ lay\ a\ guilt\ trip\ on\ the\ rest\ of\ \nthe\ country.\n\nFACT:\ Nothing\ exists\ outside\ the\ US!\ There\ is\ only\ vast\ ocean,\ we\ occupy\ the\ \nentirety\ of\ Pangea.\ (The\ existence\ of\ multiple\ continents\ is\ yet\ another\ \nliberal\ myth,\ which\ we'll\ discuss\ next\ time).\n\nFACT:\ Although\ the\ \"foreigners\"\ lie\ was\ created\ and\ popularized\ by\ liberals,\ \nit\ has\ recently\ been\ picked\ up\ by\ conservatives.\ The\ Bush\ administration\ \nrelies\ heavily\ on\ scare\ tactics\ involving\ hostile\ \"foreigners\"\ as\ a\ way\ of\ \ngrabbing\ unconstitutional\ levels\ of\ power.\n\nFACT:\ You\ may\ meet\ people\ in\ daily\ life\ who\ claim\ to\ be\ \"foreigners\"\ and\ \nillegal\ \"immigrants\".\ These\ people\ are\ merely\ telling\ you\ that\ false\ story\ \nbecause\ they're\ trying\ to\ get\ out\ of\ paying\ taxes.\n\nFACT:\ \"Foreign\"\ languages\ are\ simply\ elaborate\ codes\ used\ by\ spies\ to\ talk\ \nin\ secret.\ These\ spies\ are\ everywhere,\ and\ they\ are\ determined\ to\ steal\ your\ \ngenes\ for\ use\ in\ horrible\ cloning\ experiments.\ Don't\ trust\ anyone\ who\ speaks\ \na\ \"foreign\"\ language!\n\nFACT:\ The\ word\ \"foreign\"\ comes\ from\ the\ combination\ of\ \"for\"\ and\ \"reign\".\ \nThe\ word\ was\ invented\ for\ reign-for\ perpetuating\ the\ reign\ of\ dishonest\ \nliberals\ and\ unconstitutional\ governments.\ Don't\ let\ them\ fool\ you!\n%\nThere\ is\ no\ reasonable\ expectation\ of\ privacy\ in\ the\ world\ because\ there\ \nnever\ was\ one\ to\ begin\ with.\ You\ can't\ lose\ something\ you\ never\ had.\n\ \ \ \ We\ live\ in\ a\ web\ of\ interconnecting\ lives.\ Our\ actions\ have\ \nlong-reaching\ effects\ on\ others,\ as\ theirs\ do\ on\ ours.\ The\ idea\ that\ a\ \nsingle\ man\ may\ live\ as\ a\ hermit\ in\ the\ midst\ of\ the\ civilized\ world\ is\ both\ \nabsurd\ and\ problematic\ for\ being\ such\ a\ popular\ idea.\n\ \ \ \ Privacy\ doctrine\ in\ this\ country\ has\ existed\ for\ one\ purpose:\ shielding\ \ndomestic\ violence\ from\ public\ scrutiny.\ The\ whole\ \nprivate-sphere/public-sphere\ distinction\ arose\ so\ that\ some\ men\ could\ \nprevent\ other\ men\ from\ interfering\ in\ what\ they\ manage\ to\ pull\ off\ behind\ \nclosed\ doors.\ Marital\ rape\ and\ worse\ violences\ have\ always\ been\ justified\ as\ \nlocated\ in\ the\ mystical\ private\ sphere.\n\ \ \ \ As\ you\ cling\ to\ the\ arbitrary\ notion\ of\ privacy,\ you're\ doing\ little\ \nmore\ than\ empowering\ men\ to\ rape\ and\ torture\ women.\n\ \ \ \ It's\ time\ we\ got\ rid\ of\ the\ private/public\ distinction.\ No\ one\ ever\ had\ \nany\ actual\ privacy\;\ merely\ artificially\ imposed\ curtains\ that\ conceal\ \nmalicious\ actions\ by\ some\ against\ others.\ If\ this\ does\ anything\ to\ undermine\ \npublic\ respect\ for\ such\ a\ morally\ bankrupt\ institution\ as\ privacy,\ then\ I'm\ \nall\ for\ it.\n%\nGimp\ is\ perfectly\ usable.\ I\ know.\ I\ use\ it\ to\ add\ a\ mosaic\ over\ the\ faces\ of\ \nmy\ many\ preteen\ rape\ victims.\n%\nyou\ don't\ understand,you\ don't\ realise\ that\ the\ internet\ is\ a\ form\ of\ \ncommunicating\ and\ it's\ just\ as\ serious\ as\ talking\ in\ person\ or\ on\ a\ phone.\ \nStop\ with\ the\ bullshit.\n%\nI've\ been\ in\ the\ feceshape\ hobby\ for\ a\ good\ three\ years\ now.\ \ There's\ just\ \nsomething\ about\ being\ able\ to\ manipulate\ the\ shape\ of\ my\ poop\ by\ squeezing\ \nmy\ bowels\ that\ appeals\ to\ me.\ \ Plus,\ when\ I'm\ 80\ I'll\ have\ such\ control\ \nthere'll\ be\ no\ need\ to\ worry\ about\ messing\ myself.\n%\nNigerians\ make\ me\ so\ mad\ I\ wish\ someone\ would\ round\ them\ all\ up\ and\ send\ \nthem\ to\ a\ country\ where\ people\ starve\ and\ get\ gunned\ down\ in\ the\ street\n%\nMy\ son\ has\ always\ been\ a\ fan\ of\ Captain\ Planet.\ He\ has\ every\ episode\ on\ VHS\ \nand\ watches\ is\ roughly\ 12\ hours\ a\ day.\ Recently\ I\ caught\ him\ licking\ Captain\ \nPlanet's\ wang\ on\ the\ television\ screen\ while\ massaging\ his\ penis\ with\ a\ \nCaptain\ Planet\ action\ figure.\ Is\ this\ normal?\ What\ should\ I\ do?\n%\nI\ am\ a\ substitute\ teacher\ for\ grades\ K-5\ and\ I\ was\ awarded\ a\ gold\ star\ for\ \nstarting\ a\ movement\ in\ my\ school\ for\ \"story\ holes\"\ in\ which\ any\ student\ \ncould\ go\ into\ a\ bathroom\ and\ sit\ down\ and\ someone\ read\ them\ a\ story\ through\ \na\ hole\ in\ the\ bathroom\ wall.\n%\nI'm\ an\ Apple\ zealot,\ I'm\ typing\ this\ on\ a\ Mac\ Mini,\ and\ I'm\ going\ to\ be\ \nclicking\ submit\ with\ my\ one\ mouse\ button.\ Eat\ your\ hearts\ out\ you\ gaggle\ of\ \npock-marked,\ basement-dwelling,\ subhuman\ F/OSS\ advocates.\n%\nwhistle\ core\ is\ actually\ popular\ in\ japan\ it\ caught\ quite\ well\ and\ know\ \nwhere\ seeing\ various\ new\ whistle\ core\ bands\ come\ out\ of\ the\ country\ like\ the\ \nblue\ mist\ dogs,\ fire\ in\ the\ attic,\ lazor\ beem,\ robo\ boy\ vs\ the\ laviathan\ and\ \nvarious\ others\ its\ just\ a\ matter\ of\ time\ till\ they\ hit\ the\ charts\ here\n%\nDude\ you\ have\ to\ own\ one\ first\ to\ understand,\ people\ that\ hate\ them\ haven't\ \nowned\ them.\ I\ owned\ two\ and\ flipped\ them\ both,\ luxury\ eddie\ bauers\ one\ had\ \n20s\ on\ it\ and\ a\ TV\ inside\ with\ a\ ps2\ man,\ flipped\ them\ both\ nearly\ killed\ \nme...But\ I\ still\ fucking\ love\ suvs\n%\nBLACK\ MOE\ YOU\ FILTHY\ SILVER\ TOOTHED\ SUBHUMAN\ NIGGER\ SCUM-TELL\ YOUR\ CUM\ \nSUCKING\ 550LB\ MOM\ TO\ CLEAN\ THE\ HORSE\ CUM\ OFF\ HER\ SCABBY\ MOUTH\ OR\ I\ WONT\ SHIT\ \nDOWN\ HER\ CUM\ SLURPING\ THROAT-THEN\ WHEN\ SHE\ BLOWS\ YOU-YOU\ CANTASTE\ MY\ SHIT\n%\nI\ have\ two\ fetishes\ that\ sort\ of\ scare\ me.\ No\ it's\ not\ dog\ sex\ or\ \npedophilia.\ First\ is\ facesitting.\ I\ want\ a\ girl\ to\ sit\ on\ my\ face,\ \npreferably\ while\ mostly\ clothed\ or\ something\ because\ an\ asshole\ that\ close\ \nto\ my\ nose\ would\ probably\ make\ me\ vomit.\ Secondly\ is\ something\ called\ WAM.\ \nIt's\ girls\ getting\ hit\ with\ pies\ or\ having\ chocolate\ pudding\ poured\ on\ them\ \nor\ rolling\ around\ in\ creamed\ corn.\ Anything\ Wet\ And\ Messy,\ thus\ the\ name\ \nWAM.\ I'm\ pretty\ sure\ it\ comes\ from\ watching\ You\ Can't\ Do\ That\ On\ Television\ \nas\ a\ kid.\ I\ was\ shocked\ to\ find\ out\ that\ there\ was\ actually\ a\ pretty\ big\ \ninternet\ community\ devoted\ to\ it\ where\ I\ can\ find\ grown\ women\ getting\ slimed.\n%\n\"Shh,\"\ Snape\ said,\ their\ mouths\ very\ close.\ He\ lifted\ his\ hand\ off\ Harry's\ \nerection\ and\ smoothed\ it\ over\ his\ cheek.\ It\ was\ a\ breathless\ sort\ of\ moment,\ \nin\ a\ series\ of\ moments.\ Harry\ looked\ at\ Snape's\ face,\ enjoying\ the\ sensual\ \ntransformation.\ Features\ normally\ so\ severe\ softened\ by\ desire,\ flushed,\ \nglistening.\ Harry\ didn't\ have\ time\ to\ wonder\ what\ Snape\ saw\ in\ his\ own\ face,\ \nfor\ Snape\ was\ kissing\ him\ again.\n%\nRemember\ when\ morgan\ freeman\ played\ that\ high\ school\ principal\ with\ the\ bat\ \nand\ he\ caught\ the\ kids\ singing\ in\ the\ bathroom\ and\ he\ made\ them\ sing\ the\ \nschool\ song\ and\ the\ fat\ kid\ was\ a\ crack\ smoker.\ when\ he\ called\ all\ the\ \ntrouble\ makers\ up\ to\ the\ stage\ during\ that\ assembly\ and\ they\ are\ all\ raising\ \nhell\ and\ shit\ and\ there\ is\ one\ white\ kid\ on\ the\ stage,\ well\ that\ white\ kid\ \nturned\ out\ to\ be\ none\ other\ than\ new\ jersey�s\ own\ recovering\ addict\ of\ the\ \nmafia\ in\ the\ Sopranos:\ Chris\ Moltesante.\n%\nI\ have\ always\ fantasized\ about\ being\ a\ doll.\ like\ one\ of\ those\ real\ dolls,\ \nonly\ my\ owner\ doesn't\ know\ I'm\ in\ there.\ They\ think\ I'm\ just\ a\ doll,\ when\ \nreally\ I\ am\ enjoying\ everything\ that\ is\ bring\ done\ to\ me.\ Having\ no\ control\ \nof\ my\ body,\ being\ dominated\ completely,\ and\ then\ being\ put\ away\ when\ I'm\ not\ \nbeing\ used.\ However,\ I\ know\ that\ this\ is\ not\ possible\ in\ the\ real\ world,\ \nwhich\ saddens\ me.\ I\ however\ I'm\ sure\ there\ is\ someone\ out\ there\ that\ would\ \ngladly\ own\ me\ and\ treat\ me\ like\ their\ doll.\ Change\ my\ outfits\ daily,\ use\ my\ \nfor\ their\ own\ sexual\ desires.\ and\ then\ when\ their\ not\ using\ me,\ keep\ me\ in\ a\ \nlocked\ box\ in\ the\ closet,\ sometimes\ for\ days\ at\ a\ time.\ Only\ to\ be\ taken\ out\ \nwhen\ my\ owner\ wanted\ to\ use\ me\ some\ more.\n%\nThe\ strangest\ blow\ job\ I\ ever\ experienced\ was\ when\ I\ went\ to\ visit\ Shaq\ and\ \nfriends\ in\ the\ locker\ room\ when\ he\ was\ still\ playing\ for\ LA.\ \ They\ held\ me\ \ndown\ while\ Kobe\ held\ my\ mouth\ open\ and\ Shaq\ rammed\ his\ elephant\ trunk\ man\ \nhammer\ into\ my\ mouth.\ \ I\ immediately\ started\ gagging\ and\ throwing\ up\ but\ the\ \nmeat\ missle\ was\ so\ big\ it\ held\ the\ barf\ back\ and\ it\ went\ into\ my\ stomach\ \ninstead.\ \ Then\ they\ took\ me\ into\ the\ shower\ and\ proceeded\ to\ turn\ me\ into\ \nthe\ team\ pin\ cushion,\ it\ was\ like\ I\ was\ a\ tapestry\ in\ a\ sewing\ maching\ I\ got\ \nskewered\ for\ hours\ and\ I\ loved\ it.\ \ They\ finished\ off\ my\ visit\ with\ Shaq\ \npunching\ me\ in\ the\ throat\ and\ taking\ a\ huge\ dump\ on\ my\ forehead\ and\ making\ \nme\ lick\ his\ balls\ while\ he\ decorated\ my\ skull.\ \ It\ was\ great.\ \ I\ love\ black\ \ncock,\ I\ can't\ get\ enough\ its\ like\ catnip.\n%\nFly\ catching\ is\ a\ hobby\ of\ mine.\ Whenever\ I\ successfully\ catch\ a\ fly,\ I\ go\ \ninto\ the\ bathroom\ and\ I\ fill\ the\ bathtub\ up\ with\ warm\ water\ till\ it's\ deep\ \nenough\ that\ only\ the\ head\ of\ my\ penis\ sticks\ out\ of\ the\ water.\ Next,\ I\ rip\ \nthe\ wings\ off\ of\ the\ fly\ and\ place\ the\ fly\ upon\ the\ tip\ of\ my\ Cock--the\ \npenis\ \"head\".\ Not\ having\ anywhere\ to\ go,\ the\ cute\ lil\ fly\ runs\ around\ upon\ \nthe\ tip\ of\ my\ Cock,\ creating\ a\ most\ arousing\ sensation.Try\ it\ yourself\ !!\n%\nI\ heard\ this\ story\ from\ an\ M.D.\ in\ Japan.\ It\ was\ during\ WWII.\ A\ bunch\ of\ \nJapanese\ soldiers\ had\ rounded\ up\ 3\ or\ 4\ Korean\ women.\ They\ proceeded\ to\ fuck\ \nthem\ in\ every\ orifice,\ but\ there\ weren't\ really\ enough\ to\ go\ around.\ So\ one\ \nof\ the\ soldiers\ bayonets\ one\ of\ the\ girls\ in\ the\ stomach\ so\ that\ he\ can\ have\ \na\ place\ to\ fuck\ too.\ The\ feeling\ was\ so\ great\ that\ the\ others\ all\ start\ \ntaking\ turns\ in\ her\ stomach\ too.\n%\nno\ not\ really\ i\ just\ see\ them\ as\ mentally\ ill\ ..something\ thats\ encoded\ in\ \ntheir\ brains\ to\ love\ the\ opposite\ sex\ is\ backwards..and\ their\ phormones\ are\ \nfucked\ also..i\ hope\ science\ can\ find\ out\ a\ way\ to\ fix\ it....not\ because\ i\ \ndont\ like\ gays\ but\ because\ if\ u\ see\ a\ kid\ throw\ a\ baseball\ the\ wrong\ way\ \ndont\ u\ wanna\ help\ them\ throw\ it\ properly?\n%\nBefore\ my\ last\ job\ interview,\ my\ hair\ was\ really\ messy,\ so\ I\ went\ into\ a\ \nwashroom\ to\ tidy\ it\ up.\ But\ the\ plumbing\ wasn't\ working\ right,\ so\ I\ couldn't\ \nget\ water\ out\ of\ the\ taps.\ My\ only\ solution\ was\ to\ urinate\ in\ my\ hands\ and\ \nuse\ that\ to\ do\ my\ hair.\ I\ got\ the\ job.\n%\nYou\ don't\ think\ Bill\ will\ include\ the\ multiple\ tab\ feature\ in\ IE\ with\ \nLonghorn's\ release?\ \ Hopefully\ when\ that\ happens\ it'll\ shut\ you\ Fire-fags\ up.\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ harry\ potter\ because\ my\ dick\ is\ slytherin\n%\nDid\ you\ know\ that\ us\ niggers\ werer\ the\ first\ people\ on\ this\ planet\ and\ that\ \nevery\ race\ in\ the\ world\ evolved\ from\ us\ we\ were\ the\ first\ developed\ primates\ \nand\ there\ were\ and\ still\ are\ great\ black\ minds\ like\ Plato,\ \nShakespeare,Socrates,W.E.B\ dubois,Fredric\ Douglas........\ you\ fail\ to\ \nrealize\ we\ created\ you\ and\ we\ can\ take\ you\ away\ just\ as\ easily,we\ once\ ruled\ \nthis\ world\ and\ this\ world\ shall\ return\ to\ its\ original\ owners\ like\ it\ was\ \nbefore\ you\ devils\ came\ along\ and\ fukced\ it\ up\ .\ We\ had\ great\ civilazations\ \nin\ Africa\ such\ as\ Timbuktu,Kush,Egypt,Nubia,\ ek\ cetera\ who\ taught\ Mathmatics\ \nand\ liturature\ to\ the\ greeks,Arabs,Romas,s\ and\ of\ course\ caucs\ after\ we\ \ncivilized\ the\ world\ they\ turned\ around\ a\ stabed\ us\ in\ the\ back\ and\ clamed\ it\ \nthere\ selves\ and\ take\ credit\ for\ what\ we\ started\ and\ every\ time\ a\ nigger\ \nmoves\ up\ in\ high\ ranking\ yall\ get\ scared\ coz\ you\ know\ what\ we\ are\ capible\ of\ \ndoing\ but\ our\ day\ is\ coming\ soon\ when\ that\ black\ man\ you\ know\ as\ jesus\ comes\ \nback\ you\"ll\ see.\ oh\ yeah\ Hitler\ was\ a\ Fa9et\ and\ part\ jewish\ crackers!!!!!!If\ \nyou\ white\ you\ aint\ right.\ black\ pride\ world\ wide\n%\nWhat\ did\ the\ recycling\ bin\ say\ to\ the\ garbage\ can?\ \"YOU'RE\ A\ PILE\ OF\ FAGGOT\ \nTRASH!\"\ ,\ because\ the\ garbage\ was\ filled\ with\ gay\ porn\ mags.\ To\ which\ the\ \ngarbage\ can\ replied,\ \"\ You\ are\ a\ bucket\ of\ thoroughly-washed\ juice\ and\ milk\ \ncontainers,\ populated\ by\ an\ eco-friendly\ mid-20's\ socialist/liberal\ \ndemocratic\ couple\ who\ no\ one\ will\ ever\ listen\ to\"\n%\nI\ have\ been\ blessed\ and\ cursed\ with\ two\ hot\ ass\ cousins.\ Damn\ what\ I\ \nwouldn't\ give\ to\ hit\ it.\ But\ I\ never\ will\ be\ able\ to\ without\ consequences.\ I\ \nremember\ one\ time\ when\ she\ was\ 8\ she\ wanted\ me\ to\ sleep\ in\ her\ bed\ with\ her\ \nand\ we\ were\ going\ to\ touch\ each\ other.\ But\ I\ still\ believe\ in\ that\ God\ \nfairytale\ so\ I\ turned\ it\ down.\ I\ still\ regret\ it.\n%\nthere\ is\ a\ gay\ guy\ in\ my\ office,\ and\ he\ referred\ to\ hemmrhoids\ as\ speedbumps\n%\nFor\ the\ record,\ If\ a\ guy\ wants\ to\ rape\ you\ by\ combining\ something\ with\ \nRoofies,\ He's\ going\ to\ use\ something\ much\ more\ efficent\ than\ horse\ \ntranquiler\ or\ whatever\ you\ think\ us\ frat\ boys\ are\ using\ these\ days,\ a\ good\ \nrapist\ is\ going\ to\ use\ something\ along\ the\ lines\ of\ a\ brick.\ A\ simple\ slab\ \nof\ concrete\ is\ actually\ the\ most\ dangerous\ killer\ in\ the\ sex\ crime\ kingdom,\ \none\ shot\ to\ the\ face\ with\ a\ brick\ and\ you\ will\ be\ ugly\ for\ life,\ and\ those\ \neffects\ AREN'T\ TEMPORARY.\ You\ will\ also\ not\ be\ able\ to\ have\ children\ for\ \nlife,\ because\ they\ will\ be\ so\ afraid\ of\ their\ brickface\ of\ a\ mother\ that\ \nthey\ will\ cower\ in\ the\ womb\ forever.\ If\ you're\ worried\ about\ Progesterex\ \nbreaking\ out\ soon\ on\ campus's\ everywhere\ you\ should\ be\ even\ more\ worried\ \nabout\ being\ hit\ in\ the\ face\ by\ a\ brick\ while\ sitting\ in\ your\ neighborhood\ \nbar,\ because\ unlike\ Progesterex,\ bricks\ are\ already\ here....BEWARE!!!!\n%\nwhatever...\ come\ talk\ to\ me\ when\ -your-\ site\ wins\ a\ Webby\n%\nGo\ back\ to\ listening\ to\ your\ \"Rich\ Dad,\ Poor\ Dad\"\ book-on-tape\ in\ your\ 1989\ \nHonda\ Accord\ on\ your\ 25\ minute\ commute\ to\ your\ dead\ end\ job.\n%\nSo,\ I\ just\ got\ a\ job\ at\ Starbucks.\ \ It's\ part\ of\ my\ plan\ for\ global\ \ndomination.\ I'm\ going\ to\ tear\ the\ system\ down\ from\ the\ inside.\n%\nTIP\ FOR\ IRCERS\ #51:\ Bathe\ often,\ as\ personal\ odors\ are\ offensive\ to\ others\n%\nActually,\ it\ is\ incorrect\ to\ call\ me\ a\ 'know-it-all'\ because\ God\ is\ the\ only\ \none\ that\ knows\ everything.\n%\nThe\ case\ against\ marijuana\ legalization:Marijuana\ is\ not\ dissimilar\ to\ other\ \ndrugs,\ except\ in\ that\ its\ users\ seem\ to\ be\ rather\ slow\ witted\ after\ heavy\ \nand\ extended\ use.\ You\ know\ the\ type.\ Tobacco\ and\ alcohol\ have\ their\ \ndisadvantages\ too\ though,\ so\ really\ marijuana\ is\ not\ too\ different.\ Except\ \nthat\ for\ some\ reason,\ marijuana\ users\ have\ been\ unable\ to\ make\ a\ convincing\ \ncase\ in\ favour\ of\ marijuana.\ They\ haven't\ won\ the\ argument\ at\ all,\ and\ their\ \nlack\ of\ success\ can\ only\ be\ explained\ by\ the\ negative\ effects\ of\ marijuana\ \non\ their\ ability\ to\ put\ forward\ convincing\ and\ sophisticated\ arguments\ with\ \nthe\ charisma\ and\ social\ nous\ required\ to\ carry\ the\ day.\ This\ leads\ me\ to\ \nthink\ that\ marijuana\ is\ perhaps\ not\ as\ innocent\ as\ its\ advocates\ claim.\ If\ \nit\ was\ it\ would\ be\ legal,\ wouldn't\ it?\ But\ the\ bumbling\ ineptitude\ and\ \nstupidity\ of\ the\ typical\ stoner\ campaigner\ is\ a\ damning\ indictment\ of\ the\ \nnegative\ effects\ of\ marijuana.\n%\nYou\ are\ either\ for\ the\ expansion\ of\ growth\ of\ the\ human\ population\ off\ the\ \nearth\ and\ into\ space\ or\ you\ are\ for\ mass\ murder\ and\ restricted\ personal\ \nliberty\ to\ control\ population\ growth\ here\ on\ earth.\n%\nAre\ you\ wealthy?\ \ I'm\ just\ curious\ if\ this\ influences\ your\ thinking.\ \ Is\ \nyour\ household\ income\ above\ the\ median\ of\ \$51,000/year,\ or\ closer\ to\ the\ \n90th\ percentile\ of\ household\ income\ of\ just\ under\ \$125,000/year?\n%\nI\ was\ staying\ in\ this\ guy's\ apartment\ and\ I\ heard\ people\ having\ sex\ above\ \nme.\ The\ moaning\ turned\ me\ on\ so\ I\ whipped\ my\ tool\ out\ and\ whacked\ it.\ Later\ \nI\ found\ out\ the\ girl\ upstairs\ was\ being\ raped.\ I\ masturbated\ to\ a\ girl\ being\ \nraped.\ How\ sad\ is\ that?\ Should\ I\ feel\ guilty?\ Who\ knows.\ It's\ not\ like\ I\ \nknowingly\ did\ anything\ wrong.\n%\nY'know,\ I\ may\ be\ a\ lame\ furry\ faggot\ but\ I\ bet\ you\ I\ can\ do\ stuff\ you\ guys\ \ncan't\ do.\ I'd\ like\ to\ see\ any\ of\ you\ guys\ make\ it\ as\ a\ professional\ poker\ \nplayer\ :)\n%\nI\ started\ using\ Linux\ as\ a\ total\ n00b.\ \ I've\ done\ nothing\ but\ fixing,\ \nadjusting,\ fixing,\ updating,\ trying,\ fixing,\ and\ oh,\ ...\ fixing\ -\ AND\ I\ LOVE\ \nIT!!!\n%\nyou\ have\ to\ be\ on\ malt\ liquor\ to\ fully\ appreciate\ it.\ To\ the\ average\ \namerican\ negro,\ slightly\ buzzed\ on\ malt\ liquor\ and\ dazed\ by\ the\ media\ \nstimulus\ of\ sports\ and\ bigscreen\ TV..\ The\ phone,\ and\ the\ ability\ to\ \ncommunicate,\ even\ in\ the\ typical\ monosyllables\ of\ the\ subculture,\ is\ a\ \ncomplete\ novelty.\ Thus,\ the\ \"wazzup\"\ commercial\ represents\ the\ wonder\ and\ \nhappiness\ that\ a\ group\ of\ young\ negroes\ finds\ in\ using\ the\ technology\n%\nGET\ ME\ TWO\ HORSES\ WITH\ THE\ BIGGEST\ FUCKING\ DICKS\ YOU\ CAN\ FIND,\ AND\ THEM\ IM\ \nGONNA\ SUCK\ OFF\ ONE,\ WHILE\ JACKING\ OFF\ THE\ OTHER,\ AND\ IM\ NOT\ GONNA\ STOP\ TILL\ \nIM\ BATHING\ IN\ BUCKETS\ OF\ CUM\n%\nthe\ only\ solution\ is\ to\ go\ up\ there\ with\ your\ katana\ and\ show\ them\ who\ wears\ \nthe\ kimono\ in\ your\ dojo\n%\nMy\ uncle\ works\ for\ Capcom\ and\ he\ let\ me\ play\ Street\ Fighter\ 4:\ The\ \nWreckoning\ and\ it\ has\ Sheng\ Long\ in\ it\ and\ he\ can\ do\ Guile's\ Handcuffs\ and\ \nhis\ wife\ is\ Blanka's\ birthmother\ and\ you\ can\ do\ uppercuts\ in\ the\ AIR\ (also\ \nBreakfastalities)\n%\nRIP\ klerck!!\ :-(\n%\nStone\ Cold\ Steve\ Austin\ just\ took\ you\ in\ his\ arms\ and\ superslammed\ you\ in\ \nyour\ bed,\ then\ read\ you\ a\ bedtime\ story\ and\ turnbuckled\ you\ into\ the\ shower\ \nthe\ next\ morning\ while\ suplexing\ the\ milk\ into\ your\ Captain\ Crunch\ cereal\n%\nfuck\ ya\ dude,\ ya\ site\ sucks\ crap,\ you\ be\ dissin\ us\ clowns\ u\ gona\ git\ beat\ \nDOWN,\ u\ fuckin\ wit\ da\ Juggalo\ NATION\ straight\ up\ ya\ hatah\ biatch\ u\ betta\ \nxplain\ youself\ becuz\ u\ gotta\ a\ lotta\ clownz\ ready\ to\ beat\ ur\ azz\n%\ni\ dont\ like\ the\ way\ you\ try\ to\ act\ like\ you're\ too\ smart\ or\ you're\ above\ \neverything\ and\ hatred\ makes\ you\ stupid...\ no\ it\ doesn't\ and\ ur\ not\ above\ \nthis.\ ignorant\ is\ nothing\ but\ a\ word....\ fake\ ass\ mother\ f-ucker\ is\ a\ mood\ \nthat\ you\ portray.\ gay\ is\ an\ expression\ used\ by\ us\ nowadays\ doesn't\ mean\ \nliterally\ gay.\ i\ should\ smack\ you\ for\ not\ knowing\ that.\ and\ yes\ it\ does\ make\ \nthem\ gay\n%\nI've\ spent\ far\ too\ much\ time\ absorbing\ bullshit\ ideals\ from\ anarchists.\ The\ \ntruth\ of\ the\ matter\ is,\ I\ just\ don't\ want\ to\ pay\ for\ anything\ whatsoever.\ \nBritney\ CDs\ should\ be\ free\ because\ I\ think\ that\ somehow\ the\ constitution\ \nprotects\ my\ illegal\ copying\ and\ distribution\ under\ some\ freedom\ of\ speech\ \nlaw\ or\ fair\ use\ act.\ Even\ though\ I\ don't\ have\ to\ go\ out\ and\ buy\ luxury\ \nitems,\ I'm\ gonna\ whine\ and\ bitch\ anyway.\n%\nOh\ u\ FUCkIn\ RaCISt\ BItCh\ Dont\ b\ TalkIn\ To\ mA\ Kuzin\ LIKE\ DAt.\ u\ FUCkIN\ \nTRiFoLIn\ IrISh\ diCK\ SUCkER...~N~\ 1st\ of\ all\ i\ dont\ Why\ u\ tALkIn\ ABOut\ pEopLe\ \nWHen\ UR\ Azz\ Iz\ ugLy\ Azz\ FUCk..1st\ U\ NeeD\ 2\ b\ CheckIn\ ur\ Self\ den\ Talk\ BOut\ \nPeopLe..!\ Dont\ hate\ Juz\ BEcause\ oTha\ PEOple\ COuld\ Eat\ MOre\ Than\ u\ Can\ n\ not\ \nget\ F-A-T\ ..\ n\ because\ people\ are\ Prettier\ dan\ U..!\n%\nhi,\ i\ recently\ read\ about\ sex\ with\ insects\ and\ fine\ it\ fasinated\ me.i\ went\ \nto\ a\ pet\ store\ and\ bought\ crickets.\ taking\ them\ home\ i\ put\ some\ in\ a\ jar\ and\ \nlowered\ it\ over\ my\ cock\ and\ balls.\ the\ sensation\ of\ them\ crawling\ all\ over\ \nwas\ overwhelming\ and\ i\ orgasmed\ quickly.\ is\ this\ normal???\n%\nI\ was\ wondering\ if\ anyone\ knows\ of\ surgeries\ that\ can\ correct\ elongated\ \nlabia,\ or\ if\ there's\ anything\ you\ can\ do\ to\ make\ them\ look\ more\ normal.\ \ \nThey\ look\ disgusting\ to\ me.\ \ I'm\ not\ a\ chick\ or\ anything,\ I\ just\ really\ hate\ \nthis.\ \ My\ girlfriend's\ \"axe\ wound\",\ if\ you\ will,\ looks\ like\ a\ bloated\ sea\ \nzombie.\ \ Thanks\ in\ advanced.\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ real\ networks\ because\ i\ cannot\ get\ at\ your\ media\ without\ \ninstalling\ this\ ridiculous\ software\n%\nWhat's\ up\ with\ black\ people\ and\ sandwiches?\ It\ seems\ like\ every\ time\ I\ see\ \nsome\ illiterate\ welfare\ monkey\ jiving\ his\ ass\ down\ the\ street,\ he\ is\ busy\ \ncramming\ half\ of\ a\ submarine\ sandwich\ into\ his\ ape-maw.\ Is\ this\ some\ kind\ of\ \nnigger\ code\ for\ the\ imminent\ helter-skelter\ racewar?\n%\nI\ KNOW\ I\ JUST\ GOT\ HERE\ BUT\ YOU\ ARE\ ALL\ JUST\ THE\ COOLEST\ PEOPLE\ IN\ THE\ WORLD\ \nAND\ TOTALLY\ JUST\ LIKE\ ME!!\ WE\ SHOULD\ BE\ FRIENDS\ FOREVER\ AND\ THEN\ I\ GET\ OPS\n%\nWhy\ fuss\ with\ KDE\ when\ you\ can\ buy\ an\ Apple?\ \ Why\ futz\ around\ with\ this?\ If\ \nyou\ want\ state\ of\ the\ art\ GUI,\ why\ not\ just\ buy\ a\ Mac?\ KDE\ may\ emerge\ as\ \ngreat\ interface\ for\ your\ cell\ phone\;\ but\ at\ the\ end\ of\ the\ day,\ it's\ just\ a\ \ntoy.\ Serious\ Unix\ developers\ are\ switching\ to\ Apple.\n%\nOf\ course\ you\ can\ get\ sick\ from\ eating\ poop.\ But\ you\ can\ get\ hurt\ and\ die\ in\ \nan\ automobile\ wreck,\ too.\ Do\ you\ plan\ to\ avoid\ cars\ in\ the\ future?\ Of\ course\ \nnot.\ Knowledge\ of\ the\ consequences\ deters\ few\ cigarette\ smokers.You\ can\ not\ \ncatch\ any\ disease\ from\ the\ shit\ you\ eat\ that\ the\ donor\ did\ not\ have.\ My\ \n\"quality\ control\"\ standards\ have\ served\ me\ well\ and\ I\ don't\ even\ know\ who\ \nthe\ donor\ was\ much\ less\ which\ diseases\ he\ had.Remember,\ not\ all\ shit\ is\ \ncreated\ equally.\ Some\ shit\ really\ smells\ and\ tastes\ bad!\ More\ specifically,\ \na\ harsh\ acrid\ \"smoky\"\ odor\ and\ very\ bitter\ taste\ I\ consider\ bad.\ If\ it\ looks\ \nbad\ or\ lacks\ the\ classic\ grogan\ appearance,\ I'd\ say\ lose\ it\ in\ a\ hurry.\ The\ \nproblem\ with\ being\ a\ bottom\ is\ that\ you\ can\ not\ be\ selective\ about\ the\ shit,\ \nit\ comes\ prepackaged\ :-)\ Not\ always\ \[usually\ not\]\ the\ kind\ we'd\ like\ to\ \nhave.\ If\ you\ decide\ to\ proceed\ anyway,\ the\ most\ dire\ health\ consequence\ is\ \nprobably\ hepatitis,\ of\ course\ you\ can't\ get\ it\ unless\ he\ has\ it,\ in\ which\ \ncase\ you\ may\ get\ it\ from\ kissing,\ sucking,\ or\ rimming,\ etc.\;\ so\ don't\ just\ \nblame\ the\ shit.\ You\ can\ also\ pick\ up\ parasites\ and\ amoebae.\ If\ you\ get\ an\ \nupset\ stomach,\ Tumms\ will\ usually\ help.\ I'm\ HIV\ negative,\ even\ after\ all\ \nthese\ years\ of\ eating\ shit\ from\ thousands\ of\ guys\ mostly\ anonymously,\ but\ I\ \nhave\ to\ admit\ that\ I\ have\ had\ to\ take\ Flagyl\ once\ or\ twice,\ and\ even\ now,\ I\ \nclean\ myself\ out\ a\ couple\ times\ a\ year\ with\ Noroxin\ \[one\ tab\ a\ day\ for\ 5\ \ndays\].If\ you\ have\ a\ problem\ and\ it\ lasts\ for\ more\ than\ five\ days\ or\ have\ \nvery\ severe\ symptoms:\ see\ a\ doctor\ and\ don't\ be\ bashful\ about\ telling\ him\ \nwhat\ you\ did.\ It\ is\ wise\ to\ establish\ a\ good\ relationship\ with\ a\ physician\ \nbefore\ you\ need\ one!\ You\ can\ avoid\ a\ lot\ of\ expensive\ diagnostics\ by\ just\ \nsuggesting\ he\ prescribe\ Noroxin\ or\ later\ if\ that\ doesn't\ work\ Flagyl.A\ final\ \nthought\ here.\ Your\ toilet\ training\ and\ societal\ taboos\ are\ frequently\ \nsufficient\ to\ cause\ you\ to\ worry\ or\ feel\ guilty\ after\ your\ first\ scat\ \nexperiences.\ This\ can\ cause\ you\ to\ conjure\ up\ psychosomatic\ illnesses\ \nlimited\ only\ by\ your\ imagination.\ Know\ yourself\ and\ be\ aware\ that\ this\ may\ \nbe\ a\ problem.\n%\nNeed\ to\ be\ taken\ to\ dark\ side,\ expermented\ on,\ brought\ down\ to\ sub\ human\ \nlevel.\ Have\ swallowed\ dog\ shit.\ Gotten\ into\ extreme\ pain.\ Had\ balls\ severly\ \nabused\ and\ tortured.\ An\ y\ other\ sub\ humans\ out\ there\ need\ it\ as\ bad.\ Any\ \nevil\ tops\ really\ into\ bringing\ a\ guy\ down?\ any\ other\ guys\ into\ blood?\n%\ngirl\ u\ must\ be\ muslim\ cause\ im\ jihard\ as\ hell\n%\nMathematically\ speaking,\ it\ would\ appear\ that\ you\ were\ a\ 2:1\ favorite\ to\ \nfind\ the\ page\ you\ were\ looking\ for.\ Your\ click\ was\ questionable\ though\ given\ \nthe\ odds\ and\ the\ fact\ that\ any\ content\ on\ this\ site\ is\ likely\ to\ be\ crap\ \nanyway.\ I\ wouldn\\'t\ say\ that\ you.re\ a\ poor\ web\ surfer\ but\ I\ think\ it.s\ \nhighly\ unlikely\ that\ you\ could\ be\ a\ long\ term\ winner\ at\ higher\ stakes\ web\ \nsurfing.\n%\ngo\ back\ to\ tabulating\ your\ ultimate\ apple\ dream\ machine\ on\ apple.com\ then\ \nplaying\ snes\ all\ night\n%\nNever\ clean\ up\ or\ shower\ here.\ The\ dried\ shit\ flakes\ off\ my\ body\ and\ \nsometimes\ i'll\ brush\ a\ bit\ out\ of\ my\ beard.\ My\ head\ is\ shaved\ so\ it\ just\ \nflakes\ off\ there\ too.\ Hell\ yes,\ I\ STINK.\ And\ my\ mouth\ smells\ like\ a\ sewer.\ \nThat's\ theway\ I\ like\ it!\ I\ may\ clear\ a\ few\ people\ out\ of\ a\ room\ when\ I\ walk\ \nin\ but\ I\ haven't\ been\ thrown\ out\ of\ a\ Wallmart\ yet.\n%\nI\ shit\ into\ a\ tupper\ ware.\ I\ also\ like\ metal\ containers\ like\ the\ ones\ you\ \nuse\ for\ camping\ or\ in\ the\ military.\ then\ i\ freeze\ them\ or\ keep\ them\ in\ the\ \nrefrigerator\ for\ a\ few\ days.\ if\ you\ really\ seal\ the\ container\ tight,\ the\ \nshit\ can\ be\ stored\ much\ longer.\ Have\ you\ ever\ tried\ to\ shove\ a\ frozen\ turd\ \nup\ your\ ass?\ that\ is\ really\ hot,\ fuck\ yourself\ with\ your\ own\ turd.\ cool\n%\nI,\ too,\ prefer\ anyone\ I'm\ messaging\ to\ be\ literate\ and\ admit\ to\ a\ sneering\ \ncontempt\ for\ people\ who\ can't\ seem\ to\ break\ out\ of\ the\ \"cute\"\ Internet\ \nmisspellings\ and\ shortcuts.\ Children,\ grow\ up.\n%\nI\ got\ my\ 10\ year\ old\ niece\ drunk\ and\ then\ penetrated\ her\ with\ a\ sharpie.\ I\ \nlater\ found\ out\ that\ the\ penetration\ had\ ruptured\ her\ vaginal\ walls,\ and\ her\ \nmother\ accused\ my\ broher\ of\ being\ a\ child\ molestor\ as\ grounds\ for\ divorce.\ \nHe\ lost\ the\ case,\ and\ is\ now\ serving\ 20\ years.\n%\nI'm\ not\ really\ gay,\ I\ just\ act\ that\ way\ to\ annoy/creep\ out\ people.\n%\nThere\ is\ no\ god,\ because\ if\ there\ were,\ when\ my\ time\ of\ sorrow\ began,\ he\ \nwould\ have\ been\ there\ to\ help\ me.\ Why\ do\ I\ have\ an\ illness\ such\ as\ \ndepression,\ if\ supposedly\ god\ makes\ everyone\ that\ loves\ him\ happy?\ Fuck\ him\ \nand\ his\ false\ offers.\ Fuck\ religion!\n%\nGreetings\ nerds.\ \ As\ you\ can\ clearly\ see,\ my\ Slashdot\ ID\ is\ far\ lower\ than\ \nany\ of\ you\ can\ dream\ to\ have.\ \ Therefore\ all\ comments\ to\ this\ interesting\ \nand\ controversial\ article\ will\ have\ to\ be\ replies\ to\ my\ comment.\ \ If\ you\ \nfail\ to\ do\ this,\ I\ will\ search\ out\ your\ every\ post\ and\ mod\ them\ accordingly\ \nwith\ my\ vast\ amounts\ of\ accumulated\ mod\ points.\ \ You\ have\ been\ warned.\ \ Good\ \nday.\n%\nBLOGGABLES\ ???\ THE\ BLOGOSPHERE\ ???\ BLOGOMATIC\ ???\ SIMULBLOGCAST\ ???\ ECOBLOGS\ \n???\ METABLOGS\ ???\ BLOGS\ OF\ BLOGS\ ???\ MEDIABLOGS\ ???\ CATABLOG\ ???\ UBERBLOG\ \n???\ BLOGSERVATION\ ???\ RADIOBLOGS\ ???\ BLOGSPIRATION\ ???\ BLOGDEX\ ???\ \nBLOGDIGGER\ ???\ BLOGLINES\ ???\ BLOGPULSE\ ???\ BLOGRUNNER\ ???\ BLOGSNOW\ ???\ \nBLOGWISE\ ???\ BLOGBRITY\ ???\ BLOGS\ OF\ BLOGS\ TALKING\ ABOUT\ BLOGGING\ BLOGS\ ???\n%\nwoah!\ way\ to\ be\ sexist.\ i'm\ a\ girl\ hacker\ and\ exclusive\ linux\ user\ since\ \n1998\ and\ i'm\ certainly\ not\ alone\n%\nIMPORTANT\ NOTICE:\ anybody\ that\ has\ Windows\ XP\ 5.1\ 2600\ release\ from\ \nDevilsown,\ FCKGW-RHQQ2-YXRKT-8TG6W-2B7Q8\ -\ GET\ OFF\ THE\ INTERNET\ NOW!!!\ \nMICROSOFT\ IS\ ABOUT\ TO\ DO\ A\ SWEEP!\n%\nson,\ if\ you\ were\ a\ true\ music\ fan\ you\ would\ know\ that\ no\ good\ songs\ are\ 4/4\ \ngo\ play\ with\ your\ fucking\ casio.\n%\nI\ got\ a\ 5+\ on\ all\ 23\ of\ my\ AP\ tests,\ a\ 2400\ on\ the\ SAT,\ a\ 1337\ on\ the\ ACT,\ \nbut\ it's\ not\ a\ big\ deal\ since\ I\ have\ a\ 270\ IQ.\ I\ was\ drunk,\ high,\ and\ \ngetting\ a\ blowjob\ during\ every\ test,\ and\ I\ didn't\ study\ for\ any\ of\ them\ or\ \nsleep\ in\ the\ prior\ weeks.\n%\nI\ dont\ even\ know\ what\ indie\ rock\ is,\ but\ it\ sure\ as\ fuck\ isnt\ going\ to\ get\ \nyou\ play\ with\ any\ of\ the\ girls\ I\ hang\ out\ with.\n%\nOkay,\ let's\ break\ it\ down,\ people.If\ you're\ a\ guy\ there\ is\ no\ such\ thing\ as\ \nbisexual.There\ is\ only\ straight\ and\ gay.If\ you\ willingly\ touch\ a\ dick\ then\ \nyou\ are\ gay.If\ you\ willingly\ let\ a\ dick\ touch\ you\ then\ you\ are\ gay.If\ you\ \nscore\ anything\ other\ than\ zero\ on\ the\ Kinsey\ Scale:\ Gay.If\ you\ experimented\ \nonce\ when\ you\ were\ young\ and\ got\ married\ to\ a\ woman\ and\ had\ children\ and\ \nlived\ a\ happy\ productive\ life\ forever\ after:\ Still\ gay.Yes,\ we\ know\ that\ you\ \ndon't\ like\ to\ be\ called\ gay\ but\ you\ chose\ the\ dick,\ now\ sleep\ with\ it.\"Bi\"\ \nis\ not\ different\ from\ gay\ it\ is\ just\ what\ homos\ call\ themselves.You\ can\ call\ \nyourself\ a\ \"striped\ bass\"\ for\ all\ we\ care\ folks,\ you're\ still\ filthy\ faggots\ \nand\ you're\ going\ to\ hell!!!!\ God\ isn't\ fooled.\n%\nWhy\ must\ you\ trolls\ come\ to\ our\ forums\ and\ post\ stupid\ shit\ trying\ to\ rile\ \nus\ up?\ \ Your\ posts\ don't\ even\ bother\ 99%\ of\ us,\ so\ just\ quit\ it.\ \ Any\ one\ \nwho\ agrees\ with\ me\ post\ the\ number\ \"1\"\ in\ this\ thread.\n%\nI\ am\ a\ node\ of\ server.\ Born\ of\ flesh\ and\ blood,\ but\ enhanced\ by\ the\ power\ of\ \nits\ web.\ I\ have\ no\ use\ for\ pain\ or\ fear.\ My\ scripts\ are\ a\ focus\ of\ my\ will.\ \nMy\ strength\ is\ my\ knowledge.\ My\ weapons\ are\ my\ skills.\ Information\ is\ the\ \nblood\ of\ my\ body.\ I\ am\ part\ of\ the\ greater\ network.\ I\ am\ host\ to\ the\ vast\ \ndata\ of\ server.\ My\ flesh\ is\ weak,\ but\ my\ connection\ is\ eternal\;\ And\ \ntherefore,\ I\ am\ a\ god.\n%\nTO\ ALL\ THE\ BITCHEY\ 12\ YEAR\ OLD\ SLIPCOCK\ FANS..PLEASE\ SHUT\ UP\ BEFORE\ YOU\ HURT\ \nYOUR\ SELVES\ CRYING\ BLACK\ EYE\ SHADOW\ TEARS\ OF\ RAGE\ OVER\ MY\ \nCOMMENTS..OBVIOUSLY\ YOU\ NO\ IM\ CORRECT\ OTHERWSIE\ WHY\ WOULD\ YOU\ SHIT\ THAT\ MANY\ \nTIMES\ IN\ YOUR\ PANTS\ OVER\ MY\ LONLEY\ COMMETNS!!YOU\ FUCK\ HEADS\ SHOULD\ SHUT\ UP\ \n,QUIT\ SCHOOL(if\ you\ havent\ allready\ cause\ the\ kids\ dont\ ''get''\ your\ \nwigger,crack\ smoking\ nigger/jew\ fucking,\ garbage\ smelling\ italin\ ass)\ AND\ \nGET\ A\ JOB\ AT\ THE\ CARWASH\ QUICK\ BEFORE\ SOME\ SPIC\ WITH\ A\ BETTER\ TASTE\ IN\ MUSIC\ \nGETS\ THE\ JOB!!!I\ CAN\ JUST\ SEE\ IT\ NOW\ THE\ SLIPKNOT\ CONVICT\ IN\ HIS\ ORANGE\ \nOVERALLS\ PICKING\ UP\ MY\ USED\ RUBBERS\ ON\ THE\ SIDE\ OF\ THE\ HIGHWAY\ LOL!!!!ONE\ \nGROWN\ MAN\ CAN\ TAKE\ OUT\ 20+SLIPCOCK\ WORSHIPERS\ MOST\ OF\ THEM\ ARE\ GIRLS\ ANYWAYS\ \nSO\ MAYBE\ THEYLL\ GET\ A\ NICE\ RAPE!!!AND\ THEN\ GET\ THROWN\ OFF\ A\ FUCKING\ BRIDGE\ \nONTO\ YOUR\ FAGGOT\ GHETTO\ SHIT\ HOLE\ OF\ AS\ HOUSE!!!I\ WILL\ MAKE\ SURE\ TO\ TAKE\ \nPLENTY\ OF\ SHITS\ ON\ THE\ HIGHWAY\ AND\ LEAVE\ FILLED\ RUBBERS\ FOR\ YOU\ FAGS\ WHEN\ \nYOU\ GET\ ON\ ''JUVEY''FOR\ ONE\ OF\ YOUR\ PETTY\ CRIMES!!!ENJOY\ YOUR\ FREEDUMB\ WHILE\ \nIT\ LASTS\ YOU\ FUCKING\ NIGGERS!!!YOU\ WILL\ BE\ SITTING\ IN\ SOME\ JAIL\ SOON\ WRITING\ \nTEAR\ FILLED\ LETTERS\ TO\ COREY\ TAYLOR\ OR\ YOUR\ GRANDMOTHER!!!HAHA\ ..IM\ OFFF\ TO\ \nWATCH\ SOME\ FRESH\ PRINCE\ OF\ BELL\ AIR..YOU\ CUNTS\ IM\ SURE\ ARE\ OFF\ TO\ GET\ \n''BLAZED''AND\ HAVE\ CRACK\ ADDICTED\ BABYS\ AT\ AGE\ 13\ GOOD\ LUCK\ IN\ YOUR\ SHIT\ \nHOLE\ LIVES\ NIGGERS!!!\n%\nfuck\ you\ sXe\ faggot\ ass\ niggers.\ yeah\ i\ said\ faggot\ and\ nigger\ i\ guess\ and\ \nracist\ and\ a\ homophobe\ huh.\ yall\ are\ all\ fucking\ scenesters\ that\ probally\ \nfucking\ stand\ on\ the\ out\ side\ of\ the\ pit\ with\ you\ little\ Xs\ on\ your\ hands\ \ntrying\ to\ be\ hXc\ but\ really\ your\ just\ stupid\ as\ shit.\ do\ we\ walk\ around\ with\ \nfukcing\ Os\ on\ our\ hands\ if\ we\ do\ drugs.\ give\ it\ a\ break\ its\ all\ a\ fucking\ \ntrend\ arent\ you\ just\ so\ rad\ to\ claim\ edge\ i\ wish\ i\ was\ that\ cool\ oh\ well\ to\ \nbad\ me\ and\ your\ mom\ did\ heroin\ last\ night\ together.\ so\ all\ in\ all\ i\ guess\ im\ \nsaying\ FUCK\ YOU\ TRENDY\ ASS\ PUSSY\ BITCHS.\ sXe\ is\ not\ cool\ dont\ claim\ it\ be\ it\ \nyou\ fucking\ anal\ cunt.\n%\nHey\ guys,\ I'm\ protesting\ those\ starfield\ screen\ savers.\ Aren't\ screen\ savers\ \nsupposed\ to\ protect\ your\ monitor\ from\ getting\ the\ image\ burned\ on?\ What\ if\ \nyou\ permanently\ get\ stars\ flying\ on\ your\ monitor,\ that\ seems\ like\ it'd\ be\ \nworse\ than\ something\ useful\ like\ your\ taxes.\ Morons.\n%\nWatermelon\ represents\ the\ ripe\ breasts\ of\ white\ women\ which\ the\ negro\ wishes\ \nto\ rape,\ while\ the\ green\ color\ represents\ the\ money\ he\ wishes\ to\ steal.\ The\ \ndark\ bands\ on\ the\ melon\ represent\ the\ bars\ of\ a\ jail\ cell,\ the\ negro's\ \nultimate\ destination.\n%\nHello\ my\ name\ is\ Brad.\ I\ am\ gothic,\ and\ proper.\ I\ dress\ in\ all\ black\ all\ of\ \nthe\ time.\ I\ talk\ very\ intelligently\ by\ using\ large\ well\ articulated\ words.\ I\ \nreally\ don?t\ like\ Internet\ ?lingo?\ that\ much.\ I\ never\ understand\ what\ the\ \nfuck\ it\ means,\ and\ really,\ ?l8ter??\ Come\ on...LATER.\ Is\ it\ really\ that\ hard\ \nto\ type?\ I\ do\ also\ wear\ makeup\ which\ includes\ eyeliner,\ eye\ shadow,\ \nlipstick,\ etc,\ etc.\n%\nGirl\ you\ must\ be\ London\ because\ I\ want\ to\ explode\ inside\ your\ tunnel\n%\nout\ all\ day,\ in\ a\ series\ of\ events\ culminating\ in\ MY\ BAND'S\ FIRST\ \nPERFORMANCE\ AT\ HAMILTON\ STREET...\ holy\ shit\ dude..\ i\ am\ gunna\ be\ so\ nervus\ \nlol.\ \ ever\ sense\ the\ two\ weeks\ wwe\ have\ been\ practicing\ in\ my\ stepdads\ \ngarage\ are\ band\ has\ ben\ waiting\ for\ this\ night\ and\ my\ entire\ 3rd\ period\ \nAlgebra\ class\ is\ totally\ coming\ i\ hope\ we\ score\ some\ pussy\ and\ some\ weed\ lol\ \nlol\ fukkin\ kickass....\ we\ are\ playin\ all\ of\ our\ originl\ stuff\ including\ song\ \ntitled\ \"Party\ Party\ Party\"\ in\ D\ minor,\ \"The\ Song\ About\ The\ Girl\ Who\ Wouldn't\ \nDance\ With\ Me\ At\ Homecoming\"\ (tentative\ title)\ in\ D\ minor,\ and\ \"Beer\ Is\ Good\ \nGirls\ Are\ Gay\"\ in\ hmmm\ in\ hmm\ well\ lol\ ok\ that\ 1\ isnt\ in\ a\ key\ lol\ im\ not\ a\ \nfukkin\ musik\ queer\ how\ shuld\ i\ kno\ anyway\ i\ hope\ to\ see\ u\ all\ their\ to\ \nexperiense\ the\ thrill\ of\ our\ decibles\n%\nIf\ there\ is\ one\ thing\ that\ OSS\ has\ shown,\ it\ is\ that\ full\ time\ software\ \nteams\ do\ not\ produce\ better\ quality\ products\ than\ the\ amateurs\ (example:\ \nLinux\ v.\ windows)\n%\nIf\ Microsoft\ gets\ rid\ of\ that\ millions\ lines\ of\ spaghetti\ code\ in\ Windows\ XP\ \n(expect\ the\ same\ in\ Longhorn\ 2006\ &\ Blackcomb\ 2112)\ and\ comes\ up\ with\ a\ \nbrand\ new\ efficient\ system\ that\ equals\ the\ Apple,\ Apple\ can\ finally\ be\ laid\ \nto\ rest.\ After\ all\ Microsoft\ is\ the\ standard,\ like\ the\ Qwerty\ keyboard.\ You\ \nare\ going\ to\ have\ to\ live\ with\ Microsoft\ and\ those\ millions\ of\ lines\ of\ \nspaghetti\ code\ for\ some\ years\ to\ come.\n%\nI\ went\ to\ some\ IP\ that\ should\ have\ taken\ me\ to\ a\ warez\ server\ and\ it\ took\ me\ \nto\ one\ with\ a\ lot\ of\ porn\ and\ banners\ :(\n%\nIt\ appears\ as\ though\ Robert\ Hanssen,\ the\ American\ FBI\ agent\ accused\ of\ \nselling\ American\ secrets\ to\ the\ Russians,\ was\ a\ registered\ Linux\ user!!!\ \nThis\ is\ further\ evidence,\ as\ if\ any\ more\ was\ needed,\ that\ Linux\ and\ \ncommunism\ are\ inseperable,\ and\ that\ anyone\ using\ Linux\ is\ supporting\ the\ \ncommunist\ murder\ of\ millions!\n%\nFinal\ Fantasy?\ Please.\ The\ game\ is\ slow\ and\ repetitive.\ Meanial\ tasks\ such\ \nas\ just\ finding\ your\ way\ out\ of\ a\ cave\ can\ be\ extremely\ difficult.\ Also,\ you\ \nmust\ power\ up\ /\ gain\ levels\ buy\ engaging\ in\ mini-conflicts\ throughout\ the\ \ngame.\ These\ conflicts\ require\ NO\ eye\ /\ hand\ coordination,\ are\ extremely\ \ntedious\ and\ occur\ about,\ oh,\ every\ 1.5\ seconds.\ If\ you\ enjoy\ games\ that\ keep\ \nyou\ moving\ and\ require\ \"gaming\"\ skills,\ stay\ away\ from\ this\ game.\ I\ enjoy\ \nthe\ idea\ of\ a\ \"Fantasy\"\ concept,\ but,\ personally,\ I\ would\ much\ rather\ read\ \nTolkein\ than\ spend\ 5\ hours\ running\ around\ in\ circles\ trying\ to\ find\ an\ exit\ \nfrom\ just\ one\ screen\ of\ this\ game.\n%\nLonghorn?\ More\ like\ shoehorn,\ the\ way\ they're\ trying\ to\ cram\ all\ these\ new\ \n\"features\"\ into\ it.\n%\nHaha,\ you\ NSYNC\ lovin'\ assholes\ really\ got\ burned\ this\ time.\ \ Why\ can't\ you\ \njust\ shut\ your\ mouths\ and\ accept\ their\ demise??\ \ They\ are\ all\ losers..\ JC\ \nhas\ to\ share\ that\ woman\ from\ Desperate\ Housewives\ with\ 3\ other\ guys.\ \ And\ \nJustin,\ oh\ my\ gosh,\ he\ isn't\ even\ man\ enough\ to\ hold\ on\ to\ Britney\ (and\ \njudging\ by\ her\ new\ husband\ it\ shouldn't\ be\ that\ hard).\ \ I'm\ just\ glad\ Back\ \nStreet\ Boys\ have\ released\ their\ new\ album.\ \ They\ were\ the\ original\ band\ that\ \nevery\ record\ company\ cloned.\ \ Just\ goes\ to\ show\ you\ the\ true\ acts\ are\ the\ \nlast\ acts!!\ BSB\ 4ever!~\n%\nOne\ time\ I\ was\ masturbating\ in\ the\ closet\ and\ my\ brother\ walked\ in\ but\ he\ \ntripped\ and\ his\ mouth\ landed\ on\ my\ cock\ and\ he\ was\ yawning\ but\ I\ was\ almost\ \ndone\ and\ at\ that\ point\ the\ burglar\ alarm\ went\ off\ and\ I\ came\ and\ my\ brother\ \ntried\ to\ get\ up\ and\ run\ away\ but\ his\ pants\ got\ caught\ on\ the\ door\ and\ tore\ \noff\ and\ he\ fell\ backwards\ onto\ me\ and\ my\ mom\ walked\ in\ and\ saw\ it\ it\ was\ \nhorrible.\n%\nI\ swear\ i\ must\ be\ the\ only\ person\ that\ can\ use\ IE\ and\ not\ get\ all\ that\ crap.\ \nI\ bet\ its\ because\ i\ know\ not\ press\ the\ X\ button\ on\ a\ popup...Yeah\ i\ bet\ \nthats\ it.\ Oh\ and\ i\ dont\ go\ to\ a\ warez\ sites\ like\ an\ idiot.\n%\nim\ poor\ by\ choice\ fag.\ living\ in\ the\ mud\ just\ to\ get\ away.\ if\ i\ want\ money\ i\ \ncan\ get\ it\ peice\ of\ piss\n%\nObjC\ is\ able\ to\ use\ C\ code\ directly\ without\ change.\ That's\ why\ MS\ is\ pushing\ \nC#\ -\ it\ makes\ it\ harder\ to\ port\ code\ to\ OSX.\ With\ Windows\ projects\ done\ in\ \nC,\ most\ of\ the\ code\ can\ remain\ unchanged.\ You\ just\ add\ a\ little\ ObjC\ to\ \nhandle\ the\ system\ stuff.\ With\ C#,\ most\ of\ the\ code\ must\ be\ completely\ \nrewritten.\n%\nonly\ furries\ have\ faggoty\ butterfly\ and\ angel\ wings,\ us\ gargoyles\ have\ real\ \nmans\ wings\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ herbal\ essences\ because\ masturbating\ with\ you\ is\ a\ totally\ \norganic\ experience\n%\nHey\ guys.\ I\ just\ came\ from\ Best\ Buy\ with\ my\ dad\ and\ saw\ this\ a-ni-me\ called\ \n'Neon\ Genesis\ Evangelion'\ and\ my\ dad\ let\ me\ bought\ it,\ so\ now\ I\ have\ it\ with\ \nme\ but\ I've\ been\ reading\ about\ it\ and\ they\ say\ there\ is\ nudity\ in\ it.\ I'm\ \nnot\ sure\ if\ my\ parents\ will\ allow\ me\ to\ watch\ it,\ last\ time\ they\ found\ my\ \nHentai\ folder\ they\ changed\ my\ parental\ controls\ to\ Young\ Teen\ for\ a\ month.\ \nIt's\ not\ fair.\ I'm\ 19.\ I'm\ hiding\ my\ Hentai\ in\ Documents\ and\ Settings\ now.\n%\nthere\ are\ 2\ bits\ in\ bathroom\ binary.\ a\ number\ 1\ (01)\ is\ taking\ a\ piss.\ a\ \nnumber\ 2\ (10)\ is\ taking\ a\ poop.\ a\ number\ 3\ (11)\ is\ a\ shitpiss\ where\ you\ poop\ \nand\ pee\ at\ the\ same\ time.\n%\nHow\ about\ the\ enviroment?\ \ Canonical\ clearly\ does\ not\ care\ much\ for\ \nenviromental\ protection.\ \ The\ amount\ of\ Ubuntu\ CDs\ they\ have\ dumped\ in\ the\ \npast\ is\ unacceptable.\ \ They\ have\ reached\ AOL\ quantities.\n%\nDon't\ obscure\ the\ topic\ at\ hand\ with\ \"facts\".\ History\ has\ always\ been\ made\ \nthrough\ quick,\ instinctual\ choices.\ Intellect\ is\ nothing\ but\ a\ distraction\ \nwhen\ it\ comes\ to\ life\ shattering\ situations.\ Look\ at\ how\ it\ has\ defined\ our\ \nhistory.\ Do\ you\ think\ I\ am\ about\ to\ turn\ away\ from\ the\ legacy\ of\ generations\ \nbefore\ me?\ Alternative\ methods\ take\ longer,\ and\ never\ completely\ solve\ the\ \nproblem.\ It\ is\ easier\ for\ the\ mass\ populace\ to\ attack\ a\ problem\ \nstraightforward.\ Consideration\ for\ things\ slows\ down\ the\ pulse\ of\ results.\n%\nOh\ man\ oh\ man.\ There\ was\ my\ dad,\ pissed\ as\ all\ hell\ dirty\ and\ oily\ in\ his\ \nwork\ clothes\ yelling\ at\ the\ little\ pimple\ faced\ manager.\ \"Sir\ we\ can't\ \nreplace\ your\ monitor\ because\ you\ did\ not\ purchase\ it\ here.\"\ \"I\ BRING\ MONITOR\ \nIN\ AND\ YOU\ FIX,\ THEN\ YOU\ DROP\ AND\ EXPECT\ ME\ PAY,\ I\ DO\ NOT\ THINK!!!!!!!\"\ \ \nAfter\ about\ 15\ minutes\ of\ this\ we\ walked\ out\ of\ there\ with\ a\ brand\ new\ 15\ \ninch\ packard\ bell.\ Then\ I\ went\ home\ and\ played\ wing\ commander\ 2\ till\ I\ got\ \ntired,\ masturbated\ to\ sailor\ moon\ porn\ and\ went\ to\ bed.\n%\nEveryone\ else\ in\ the\ classroom\ was\ laughing\ at\ me.\ Due\ to\ my\ weakness,\ I\ was\ \nunable\ to\ push\ him\ away.\ I\ tried\ to\ wiggle\ my\ mostly\ ornamental\ white\ velcro\ \nshoes\ but\ that\ only\ encouraged\ him.\ I\ was\ thrown\ from\ my\ wheel\ chair\ and\ \nrolled\ onto\ my\ back.\ That's\ when\ the\ torture\ started.\ That\ day\ I\ was\ \nviolated\ with\ every\ pen,\ pencil,\ crayon\ and\ glue\ bottle\ those\ insufferable\ \nretards\ could\ lay\ their\ malformed\ mitts\ on.\n%\nfaggot!\ get\ the\ fuck\ out\ of\ here.\ we\ don't\ take\ kindly\ to\ you\ people\ around\ \nhere.\ you're\ worse\ than\ the\ niggers.\ at\ least\ the\ niggers\ are\ predictable\ -\ \nthey\ just\ want\ to\ make\ illegitimate\ children,\ eat\ fried\ chicken,\ and\ steal\ \ncars\ -\ you\ faggots,\ who\ the\ fuck\ knows\ what\ you're\ going\ to\ do\ next?\n%\nI\ have\ been\ testing\ Longhorn\ prereleases\ for\ weeks\ now\ and\ I\ have\ to\ say\ \nthat\ it's\ extremely\ buggy.\ \ \ Micro\$oft\ has\ a\ long\ way\ to\ go\ before\ they\ \ncatch\ upto\ Apple.\n%\ni\ have\ a\ girlfriend\ who\ was\ raped\ when\ she\ was\ in\ high\ school.\ not\ only\ that\ \nshe\ got\ molested\ by\ family\ member.\ even\ though\ it\ has\ been\ 8\ years\ since\ \nthat\ happened,\ she\ is\ still\ disturbed\ and\ when\ she\ sees\ something\ on\ tv\ or\ \nmovie\ that\ remind\ her,\ she\ cries.\ at\ which\ point\ i\ rape\ her.\ what\ a\ whore!\n%\nWee!\ Look\ at\ me!\ I'm\ a\ faggot\ masochist\ with\ my\ faggot\ masochists'\ OS!\ Look\ \nat\ me!\ Look\ at\ me!\ Look\ at\ me!\ I\ can't\ play\ WMVs!\ Ain't\ I\ cool!\n%\nI\ can't\ believe\ I\ just\ took\ a\ shit\ in\ my\ Wookie\ costume\ at\ the\ Star\ Wars\ \nconvention.\ What\ the\ fuck?\ I\ can't\ stand\ up\ and\ take\ it\ to\ waste\ chute\ \nbecause\ I\ am\ literally\ wading\ in\ a\ feces-filled\ fur\ suit\ at\ this\ very\ \nmoment.\ Any\ change\ in\ battle\ stance\ would\ send\ this\ rancid\ bantha\ poodoo\ \nspilling\ down\ my\ legs\ and\ into\ view\ of\ every\ Jedi\ Knight\ within\ 30\ feet\ of\ \nme.\ There\ is\ no\ way\ I\ can\ play\ this\ off\ as\ a\ fart.\ It\ doesn't\ help\ that\ I've\ \neaten\ nothing\ but\ doritos\ and\ pepsi\ for\ the\ passed\ 3\ days.\ I\ can\ hardly\ \nthink\ straight!\ How\ am\ I\ possibly\ going\ to\ explain\ this\ to\ my\ mom\ when\ she\ \ncomes\ back\ from\ the\ store\ to\ ask\ me\ what\ the\ fuck\ I\ just\ did\ in\ the\ presence\ \nof\ Boba\ Fett.\ She'll\ make\ me\ drop\ trau\ in\ front\ of\ everyone\ again.\ There\ it\ \nis.\ The\ Ewok\ at\ the\ signing\ booth\ to\ the\ right\ of\ me\ just\ asked\ if\ I\ could\ \nsmell\ 'that'.\ I\ gotta\ go.\n%\nChristianity\ was\ founded\ and\ propagated\ by\ Jews.\ It\ is\ also\ the\ source\ of\ \nWestern\ art,\ morality,\ and\ science.\n%\nYour\ argument\ is\ not\ very\ compelling.\ Everyone\ knows\ I'm\ not\ here\ to\ \"get\ \ndown\",\ I'm\ here\ specifically\ to\ crush\ you\ in\ debate\ and\ I'm\ not\ going\ to\ \nspend\ much\ time\ here\ either\ as\ I\ am\ quickly\ dulled\ by\ this\ sort\ of\ thing.\n%\nA\ note\ to\ the\ idiot\ who\ keeps\ sending\ me\ anonymous\ emails\ claiming\ to\ have\ \n\"f*cked\"\ my\ mother:\ 1)\ Do\ you\ really\ think\ i\ don't\ have\ your\ IP\ address\ and\ \nhave\ a\ relatively\ good\ idea\ of\ who\ you\ are?\ 2)\ Do\ you\ really\ think\ I\ care\ \nabout\ your\ weird\ sexual\ fantasies?\ 3)\ Have\ you\ even\ SEEN\ my\ mother?\ HAHAHA\ \n4)\ Keep\ it\ up.\ The\ messages\ are\ being\ logged,\ stored\ and\ passed\ on\ to\ the\ \nrelevant\ authorities\ and,\ of\ course,\ your\ ISP...\ 5)\ I\ know\ where\ you\ are.\n%\nI\ masterbate\ using\ a\ Johnsonville\ 'Cheddarwurst'\ in\ each\ hole\ and\ a\ vibe\ on\ \nmy\ button.\ \ I\ have\ acheived\ 48\ orgasms\ in\ two\ hours\ with\ this\ technique.\n%\nI\ used\ to\ find\ ways\ to\ jack\ off\ around\ my\ mom\ while\ she\ wasn't\ looking.\ I\ \nhave\ even\ shot\ off\ onto\ her\ while\ she\ was\ asleep\ at\ night\ and\ my\ dad\ was\ at\ \nwork.\ She\ was\ a\ heavy\ sleeper\ and\ it\ wasn't\ any\ problem\ to\ gently\ uncover\ \nher\ and\ wack\ off\ right\ in\ front\ of\ her.\ I\ have\ even\ gotten\ completely\ naked\ \nand\ stood\ on\ a\ kitchen\ chair\ I\ pulled\ up\ next\ to\ her\ bed\ and\ blew\ my\ load\ \ncompletely\ across\ the\ bed,\ never\ hitting\ her\ with\ any\ of\ it\ all.\ The\ time\ I\ \nremember\ most\ is\ when\ I\ came\ home\ drunk\ (again)\ and\ she\ was\ already\ asleep.\ \nI\ got\ totally\ naked\ and\ went\ to\ her\ room.\ Luckily,\ she\ was\ completely\ \nuncovered\ and\ snoring\ like\ a\ cow.\ It\ was\ like\ I\ had\ special\ ordered\ this\ \nbecause\ she\ was\ laying\ flat\ on\ her\ back\ with\ her\ knees\ folded\ out\ like\ she\ \nwas\ expecting\ me.\ I\ looked\ at\ her\ tight\ little\ panties\ and\ could\ see\ the\ \nsplit\ plain\ as\ day.\ She\ kept\ a\ letter\ opener\ on\ the\ night\ stand\ next\ to\ her\ \nbed\ for\ when\ she\ opens\ the\ mail\ each\ night\ before\ she\ goes\ to\ bed.\ It\ was\ \nthe\ kind\ with\ the\ razor\ blade\ in\ it.\ I\ used\ the\ letter\ opener\ to\ cut\ her\ \npanties\ right\ across\ the\ crotch.\ I\ jumped\ when\ they\ snapped\ apart.\ I\ wasn't\ \nexpecting\ that.\ Mom\ never\ moved.\ She\ just\ laid\ there\ snoring\ like\ a\ bear.\ I\ \nthought\ to\ myself\ this\ was\ too\ good\ to\ be\ true.\ And\ since\ I\ was\ already\ \nnaked,\ I\ thought\ about\ how\ I\ could\ slip\ over\ top\ of\ her\ and\ try\ to\ touch\ my\ \ndick\ to\ her\ open\ pussy.\ I\ knew\ I\ couldn't\ actually\ stick\ it\ in\ her\ without\ \nwaking\ her\ up.\ I\ must\ have\ tried\ ten\ times\ to\ get\ on\ top\ but\ couldn't\ do\ it.\ \nI\ did,\ however,\ manage\ to\ actually\ lick\ her\ pussy(very\ lightly\ at\ first).\ \nAfter\ a\ couple\ of\ licks,\ I\ got\ brave\ and\ put\ my\ toung\ inside\ a\ little\ bit.\ \nOnce\ I\ did\ that,\ I\ knew\ I\ was\ pushing\ it\ so\ I\ eased\ off\ the\ side\ of\ the\ bed\ \nand\ jacked\ off\ standing\ as\ near\ her\ face\ as\ I\ could\ without\ waking\ her.\ I\ \nwanted\ to\ shoot\ my\ load\ on\ her\ face\ but\ I\ chickened\ out.\ I\ turned\ toward\ her\ \nstill\ open\ legs\ and\ tried\ to\ blow\ it\ on\ her\ pussy.\ I\ did\ manage\ to\ get\ it\ \nall\ over\ her\ leg.\ She\ never\ budged.\ Sometimes\ I\ think\ she\ knew\ the\ whole\ \ntime\ and\ just\ let\ me\ get\ myself\ off\ because\ she\ may\ have\ actually\ liked\ it.\ \nI\ sometimes\ wonder\ if\ she\ had\ always\ known\ when\ I\ was\ doing\ my\ thing\ around\ \nher.\ I\ got\ away\ with\ things\ you\ could\ not\ believe\ sometimes.\ I\ even\ put\ my\ \nthrobing\ swelled\ dick\ in\ her\ hand\ once\ while\ she\ was\ sleeping\ in\ the\ \nrecliner\ watching\ television.\ I\ didn't\ keep\ it\ there\ long\ but\ it\ was\ enough\ \nfor\ me\ to\ go\ to\ the\ bathroom\ and\ beat\ off\ like\ a\ fool.\n%\nI\ was\ sitting\ alone\ at\ home\ one\ night,\ curled\ up\ in\ a\ blanket\ on\ the\ couch.\ \nI\ was\ watching\ \"Sex\ in\ the\ City\"\ and\ I\ heard\ a\ knock\ at\ the\ door.\ I\ got\ up,\ \nand\ looked\ out\ the\ peephole.\ It\ was\ Kobe\ Bryant.\ I\ was\ very\ surprised,\ I\ do\ \nnot\ know\ him\ personally.\ I\ opened\ the\ door\ and\ let\ him\ in,\ because\ hey,\ its\ \nnot\ like\ a\ huge\ NBA\ star\ is\ there\ to\ rob\ you\ or\ anything!\ \ After\ he\ stepped\ \nin\ the\ foyer,\ he\ grabbed\ me\ and\ made\ me\ swallow\ my\ chewing\ gum.\ I\ \nimmediately\ blurted\ out\ that\ was\ a\ horrible\ thing\ to\ do\ because\ it\ will\ stay\ \nin\ there\ for\ 7\ years!\ Kobe\ began\ laughing\ incredibly\ hard,\ then\ grabbed\ me\ \nagain.\ Before\ I\ could\ even\ scream,\ he\ was\ ripping\ off\ my\ pants\ and\ lowering\ \nmy\ panties,\ \"jamming\"\ his\ enormous\ dong\ into\ my\ tight,\ but\ willing\ cunny.\ He\ \ntruly\ began\ raping\ me\ viciously\ in\ every\ hole,\ but\ it\ wasnt\ rape.\ I\ hadn't\ \nhad\ sex\ in\ the\ past\ year,\ and\ I\ really\ needed\ this.\ Especially\ from\ such\ a\ \nwell\ endowed\ man.\ \ As\ he\ thrusted\ in\ and\ out,\ he\ picked\ me\ up\ and\ moved\ me\ \ninto\ the\ kitchen.\ I\ didnt\ have\ any\ idea\ why.\ He\ opened\ the\ freezer\ and\ \nremoved\ my\ frozen\ pre-made\ chicken\ nuggets.\ He\ popped\ them\ in\ the\ microwave\ \nand\ continued\ his\ sexual\ escapade.\ \ Kobe\ began\ sniffing\ loudly,\ pulling\ in\ \nimmense\ amounts\ of\ air\ through\ his\ huge\ negro\ nostrils.\ \"Whats\ wrong,\ Kobe?\ \nKeep\ Thrusting!\"\ I\ yelled,\ as\ I\ was\ nearing\ climax.\ But\ he\ continued\ \nsniffing\ uncontrollably.\ He\ then\ dropped\ me\ on\ the\ floor,\ reached\ in\ the\ \nmicrowave\ and\ grabbed\ the\ plate\ of\ nuggets.\ \ The\ worst\ thing\ ever\ happened\ \nnext.\ He\ grabbed\ each\ nugget,\ smelled\ it,\ licked\ it,\ and\ then\ jammed\ it\ \nright\ into\ his\ anus.\ Before\ long,\ Kobe's\ anus\ was\ full\ of\ Tyson's\ very\ best\ \nnuggets,\ and\ I\ was\ masturbating\ to\ my\ second\ climax\ (I,\ however,\ did\ not\ \nnotice\ him\ doing\ his\ thing\ with\ the\ nuggets).\ The\ next\ thing,\ however,\ was\ \nwhat\ shocked,\ surprised,\ and\ scarred\ me\ for\ life.\ \ Kobe\ walked\ over\ to\ me,\ \nand\ said\ \"Ya\ hungry?\"\ I\ said\ \"Were\ you\ cooking\ those\ nuggets\ for\ us\ to\ eat?\ \nHow\ thoughtful\ of\ you!\"\ To\ my\ surprise,\ he\ said\ \"No\ way\ bitch!\ Now\ eat\ up!\"\ \nand\ he\ sat\ right\ down\ on\ my\ face\ and\ began\ to\ shit\ the\ nuggets,\ one\ by\ one,\ \ninto\ my\ mouth.\ He\ exhibited\ amazing\ anal\ control,\ and\ surprisingly\ the\ shit\ \nencrusted\ nuggets\ tasted\ fabulous.\ Kobe\ has\ been\ coming\ over\ whenever\ the\ \nLakers\ are\ in\ \ town\ for\ the\ past\ year\ ohh\ yeah.\n%\ni\ hacked\ into\ an\ airline's\ computer\ systems\ and\ stole\ a\ huge\ bunch\ of\ \nfrequent\ flyer\ points\ then\ traded\ them\ in\ for\ merchandise\ and\ got\ a\ sony\ \nplaystation\ 2\n%\nHEY\ BABE\ WHO\ WOULD\ WIN\ PIRATES....\ OR\ NINJA???\ \ ALSO\ NOTE\ I\ DID\ NOT\ USE\ AN\ S\ \nBECAUSE\ NINJA\ IS\ JAPANESE\ AND\ THEY\ DONT\ HAVE\ PLURALS\ DO\ YOU\ LIKE\ JAPAN\n%\nIt\ was\ only\ -after-\ I\ took\ the\ lethal\ dose\ of\ aspirin\ that\ I\ realized\ I\ \ncouldn't\ find\ my\ Evanescence\ CDs\ anywhere!!\ My\ elaborate\ suicide\ plans\ were\ \nruined,\ but\ as\ you\ can\ imagine\ I\ am\ quite\ used\ to\ disappointment...\ so\ \nsleepy...\n%\nDon't\ you\ dare\ talk\ to\ me\ like\ I\ don't\ know\ my\ profession.\n%\nCongratulations,\ prick,\ you've\ just\ made\ my\ ignore\ list.\ Was\ it\ worth\ it\ to\ \nyou\ to\ make\ your\ \"witty\"\ comments\ and\ snide\ in-jokes\ to\ your\ irc\ pals\ about\ \nme\ if\ it\ meant\ you\ are\ now\ disappeared\ from\ my\ online\ experience?\ Have\ a\ \nnice\ life.\n%\nA\ computer\ scientist?\ \ what\ are\ your\ credentials\ as\ a\ scientist?\ How\ have\ \nyou\ furthered\ scientific\ knowledge?\ I\ am\ a\ scientist.\ PhD\ in\ space\ science,\ \nas\ a\ matter\ of\ fact.\ A\ veritable\ rocket\ scientist.\ I\ have\ also\ developed\ \nsoftware\ for\ the\ last\ 25\ years.\ I\ have\ headed\ software\ projects\ and\ \ndelivered\ software\ to\ some\ important\ customers,\ including\ the\ DoD.\ So\ \nforgive\ me\ if\ I\ take\ exception\ to\ some\ programmer\ hack\ calling\ himself\ a\ \nscientist.\n%\n\"Star\ Wars\"\ was\ the\ highlight\ of\ my\ abusive\ childhoo.\ My\ father\ brutally\ \nbelted\ me\ frequently,\ and\ the\ rest\ of\ the\ family,\ a\ term\ which\ I\ use\ very\ \nloosely,\ just\ hid\ what\ he\ did\ to\ me.\n%\nDoesn't\ matter.\ \ Once\ the\ US\ housing\ bubble\ collapses\ there\ will\ be\ a\ total\ \neconomic\ collapse.\ Companies\ like\ Netflix\ and\ Amazon\ will\ go\ bankrupt\ as\ \nAmericans\ just\ try\ to\ save\ enough\ for\ food\n%\nI\ think\ that\ the\ present\ lack\ of\ comments\ on\ this\ article,\ combined\ with\ the\ \nsubject\ matter\ of\ this\ article,\ speaks\ volumes\ about\ the\ so-called\ open\ \nsource\ community.\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ Frogger\ because\ I\ would\ cross\ rush\ hour\ traffic\ and\ \ncascading\ rivers\ in\ order\ to\ hop\ in\ your\ hole\ 6\ times\ in\ a\ row\n%\nIf\ you\ want\ to\ make\ full\ use\ of\ your\ hardware\ use\ Windows.\ If\ you\ want\ to\ \nwaste\ days\ trying\ to\ get\ an\ alpha\ OS\ to\ work\ with\ hacked\ drivers\ and\ \nillegally\ reverse\ engineered\ applications\ mostly\ written\ by\ ugly\ teenagers\ \nwho\ stop\ doing\ it\ once\ they\ get\ laid\ then\ by\ all\ means\ use\ Linux.\n%\nit's\ so\ weird\ seeing\ Obi\ Wan\ Kenobe\ playing\ Alfred\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ an\ HTTP\ status\ code\ because\ all\ i'm\ getting\ is:\ 402\ \nPayment\ Required\n%\nI\ hate\ when\ people\ think\ they're\ saving\ the\ world\ just\ by\ riding\ their\ bike.\ \nIt's\ like\ those\ black\ and\ white\ couples\ that\ think\ they're\ fighting\ racism\ \njust\ by\ fucking\ each\ other.\n%\nYour\ a\ stupid\ fucker.\ You\ know\ no\ one\ gives\ a\ shit\ about\ what\ you\ say.\ Pipe\ \ndown\ and\ go\ check\ on\ your\ emerging\ gentoo\ box\ --\ ooh\ i\ think\ your\ \n_ricer_kernel_\ just\ finished\ building.\n%\none\ time\ i\ killed\ this\ hippie\ and\ scraped\ the\ resin\ off\ his\ lungs\ and\ i\ died\ \nof\ a\ weed\ overdose\n%\nFor\ instance:\ throughout\ all\ of\ my\ time\ in\ elementary\ school\ there\ was\ this\ \none\ kid\ who\ would\ go\ to\ the\ bathroom\ so\ he\ could\ poop.\ But\ he\ had\ a\ phobia\ \nof\ water\ splashing\ up\ his\ crack\ or\ something\ like\ that.\ I\ say\ this\ because\ \nhe\ would\ go\ into\ the\ stall,\ take\ down\ his\ pants,\ and\ while\ still\ standing,\ \nproceed\ to\ shit\ on\ the\ floor\ right\ in\ front\ of\ the\ toilet.\ It\ was\ weird\ when\ \nyou\ would\ go\ to\ the\ bathroom\ and\ you\ would\ see\ a\ burgundy\ loaf\ on\ the\ floor\ \nof\ the\ bathroom.\ And\ it\ was\ always\ in\ the\ same\ bathroom.\n%\nI'm\ not\ perfect\ in\ english,\ but\ I\ was\ on\ college\ forums\ when\ I\ was\ in\ \ncollege,\ and\ you\ wouldn't\ have\ lasted\ two\ minutes\ with\ anyone\ with\ your\ \nkiddy\ type\ gibberish.\n%\nStupid\ internet\ faggots\ get\ obsessed\ with\ the\ most\ inane\ things.\ If\ it's\ \nfrom\ Japan\ or\ runs\ on\ Linux\ watch\ the\ fuck\ out\ cause\ these\ losers\ will\ act\ \nlike\ Jesus\ appeared\ on\ Earth.\n%\nthere\ is\ no\ such\ thing\ as\ hardcore\ gaming,\ anymore\ then\ there\ is\ anything\ \nextreme\ about\ mountain\ dew\ livewire\n%\nSometimes\ when\ I\ get\ bored\ I\ stick\ screw\ drivers\ in\ my\ piss\ hole\ (preferably\ \nphillips\ head)\ Then\ I\ thumb\ around\ my\ sphincter\ with\ my\ womenlike\ finger\ \nnails\ scraping\ the\ days\ left\ overs\ and\ sniff\ it\ for\ 10\ minutes.\n%\nsince\ blacks\ have\ bigger\ wangs...\ do\ black\ chicks\ have\ bigger\ holes?\n%\nAs\ a\ professional\ shrink,\ I\ was\ appauled\ while\ observing\ Tom\ Cruise\ as\ he\ \nunderwent\ a\ complete\ alteration\ of\ personality\ on\ national\ television.\ \nAlthough\ his\ aggressive\ display\ did\ not\ make\ me\ think\ him\ gay,\ I\ certainly\ \nwondered\ if\ he\ was\ forgetting\ his\ Lithium\ or\ if\ we\ were\ watching\ one\ of\ his\ \nalternate\ personalities!\ Truly\ mindboggling\ behavior!\n%\nHer\ lips\ bit\ onto\ his,\ opened,\ and\ began\ force\ vomiting\ shit\ down\ his\ \nthroat.\ Her\ fingers\ dug\ deep\ into\ his\ flesh\ and\ John\ struggled\ as\ Kihnda\ \npulled\ him\ down.\ Into\ the\ toilet,\ into\ her\ kind,\ warm\ love,\ where\ they\ could\ \nbe\ forever.\ John\ tried\ to\ break\ free.\ He\ didn.t\ make\ it.\ The\ shit\ was\ too\ \nstrong.\ His\ penis\ still\ erect,\ a\ die-hard\ pervert\ to\ the\ end,\ loving\ every\ \nlast\ fucking\ minute\ of\ it,\ John\ drowned\ in\ his\ cannibal\ leavings.\n%\ni\ wipe\ turd\ on\ my\ tallywacker.\ \ im\ not\ happy,\ sometimes\ i\ touch\ my\ mouth\ \nafter\ playin\ with\ faeces.\ i\ think\ i\ have\ syphalis\ or\ scruvy..god\ bless\ \ntriffle,\ i\ put\ my\ balls\ in\ triffle....my\ pubes\ are\ 4\ inches\ long.\n%\nFucked\ in\ the\ ass\ non-stop,\ ream\ my\ hole,\ with\ a\ helicopter\ prop,\ I\ love\ ass\ \nfucking,\ yes\ it's\ true,\ I\ douche\ my\ ass\ nightly,\ so\ there's\ no\ poo.\ I'm\ a\ \nfanatic\ faggot,\ I\ love\ to\ get\ raped,\ got\ my\ dad's\ camcorder,\ to\ get\ it\ all\ \non\ tape.\ My\ sphincter's\ so\ loose,\ all\ my\ movements\ are\ butt\ juice,\ in\ the\ \nwar\ of\ fists\ and\ my\ ass,\ there\ can\ never\ be\ a\ truce.\n%\nLiberals\ deserve\ to\ be\ KILLED.\ \ Shot\ dead.\ Hit\ in\ the\ head\ with\ baseball\ \nbats,\ hatchets,\ axes\ or\ even\ ice\ picks.\ \ Hung\ by\ their\ necks\ from\ the\ \nnearest\ lamp\ post\ or\ tree.\ \ Liberals\ are\ the\ scum\ of\ the\ earth.\ Whether\ \nthey're\ in\ the\ UK,\ US\ or\ anywhere\ else,\ \ I\ advocate\ extreme\ violence\ against\ \nliberals!\ \ The\ only\ good\ liberal\ is\ a\ dead\ liberal.\n%\nI\ shat\ on\ my\ keyboard\ today.\ So\ I\ was\ vaccuming\ my\ keyboard\ to\ remove\ the\ \ndried\ up\ man\ juice\ of\ my\ past\ expeditions\ into\ trannybooth.com.\ I\ was\ \nplaying\ with\ different\ settings\ on\ the\ cleaner,\ and\ noticed\ how\ it\ produced\ \nkeystrokes\ when\ it\ was\ blowing.\ It\ made\ me\ wonder\ -\ was\ my\ own\ fart\ strong\ \nenough\ to\ type\ something?\ Being\ the\ experimenting\ type,\ I\ went\ ahead\ and\ \npulled\ down\ my\ pants,\ positioned\ my\ ass\ right\ above\ the\ keyboard\ and\ let\ out\ \na\ thunderous\ one.\ Turned\ out\ my\ bowel\ had\ decieved\ me,\ for\ along\ with\ the\ \ngas\ came\ hot\ chunks\ of\ shit.\ My\ computer\ started\ beeping\ like\ crazy\ as\ a\ \nhuge\ log\ pressed\ down\ on\ the\ function\ keys.\ My\ keyboard\ went\ friggin\ \nshit-brown.\ There\ it\ was,\ a\ steaming\ turd\ right\ across\ my\ home\ row.\ I\ had\ to\ \nuse\ fucking\ motor\ oil\ to\ clean\ away\ the\ fecal\ matter.\ I\ don't\ know\ what\ I'm\ \ngoing\ to\ tell\ my\ sister\ when\ she\ finds\ out\ the\ keyboard\ smells\ like\ crap.\n%\ni\ don't\ care\ if\ you\ premium\ member,\ i\ will\ ctl+alt+dlt\ u\ /\ you\ little\ fuck,\ \ni've\ got\ year\ old\ posts\ bigger\ than\ u/\ before\ i\ lost\ weight,\ back\ in\ \nninety-eight/\ you\ was\ wack\ posting\ over\ at\ gbs\ i\ seen\ u/\ then\ you\ came\ to\ \nFYAD,\ switch\ your\ demeanor,\ well\ -\ we\ don't\ believe\ you,\ you\ need\ more\ \npeople/\ troll\ phds\ of\ the\ game,\ we\ passed\ them\ classes\;\ nobody\ could\ read\ \nyou\ 05\ dudez\ like\ we\ do/\ don't\ let\ 'em\ gas\ you\ like\ lowtax\;\ he'll\ harass\ \nyou/\ trust\ me\ on\ this\ one\ -\ i'll\ e-detach\ you/\ hand\ from\ keyboard,\ eyes\ from\ \nscreen/\ they'll\ have\ to\ hold\ a\ cybervigil,\ put\ your\ webcam\ live\ stream/\ no,\ \nyou're\ not\ on\ my\ level\ get\ your\ mouse\ tweaked/i\ posted\ what\ ya\ did\ all\ year\ \nin\ my\ first\ week/\ (chorus)\ niggaz'll\ hijack\ your\ post,\ make\ you\ report\ to\ \nadmin/\ your\ faggot\ topics\ i'll\ unpin,\ make\ your\ drives\ spin\ and\ spin/\ we\ \nbring\ -\ humor\ to\ ur\ thread,\ kill\ your\ bullshit\ drama/\ too\ much\ bytes\ for\ ur\ \nmodem,\ go\ run\ to\ ya\ momma/\n%\nFlopping\ and\ flailing,\ tugging\ and\ yanking,\ rolling\ my\ micro-burrito\ between\ \nmy\ thumb\ and\ forefinger,\ I\ desperately\ Google\ \"Hairy\ Asian\ Pussy\"...\ \"Big\ \nBlack\ Tits\"...\ \"Shaved\ Mature\ Naked\"...\ but\ am\ unable\ to\ focus\ on\ any\ single\ \nimage\ long\ enough\ to\ construct\ a\ suitable\ fantasy.\ I\ click\ rapidly\ from\ one\ \nphoto\ to\ the\ next,\ accidentally\ smearing\ vitamin\ E\ oil\ on\ the\ keyboard\ and\ \nmouse,\ all\ through\ the\ night\ until\ morning's\ cruel\ \ rays\ mock\ my\ soft,\ \ngreasy\ loins.\n%\none\ time\ i\ smoked\ so\ much\ weed\ i\ got\ to\ like\ level\ 99\ of\ being\ high\ then\ i\ \nkept\ smoking\ and\ my\ high\ reset\ back\ to\ level\ 0\ and\ i\ was\ perfectly\ sober\ \nexcept\ my\ hair\ turned\ yellow\n%\nSTAR\ WARS\ \ EWOX\ \ JEDI\ \ X-WING\ \ GREEDOO\ \ DEATH\ STARS\ \ ANAKIN\ VADER\ \ JABBA\ HUT\ \n\ LIGHTSABERS\ \ VULCANZ\ \ HAN\ SOLO\ \ AT-ATs\ \ PADAWAN\ \ YODA\ \ ITS\ A\ TRAP\ \ CP30\ \ \ \nCHEWIE\n%\nYour\ theories\ interest\ me\ and\ I\ wish\ to\ subscribe\ to\ your\ newsletter.\n%\nAlso,\ if\ you\ have\ ever\ billboarded\ a\ request\ (posting\ a\ request\ more\ than\ \nonce\ in\ order\ to\ have\ it\ more\ visible)\ then\ you\ are\ in\ my\ killfiter\ as\ well.\ \n\ This\ is\ nothing\ personal,\ I\ just\ need\ to\ filter\ abuse\ in\ order\ to\ enjoy\ \nUsenet.\n%\nDo\ you\ really\ think\ that\ KDE\ is\ completely\ under\ GPL?\ You\ are\ either\ \nuninformed\ or\ a\ troll.\ \ \ I\ think\ you\ are\ a\ troll\ who\ tries\ to\ say\ \"If\ KDE\ \nwas\ under\ BSD\ license,\ Apple\ had\ not\ given\ any\ modifications\ back.\"\n%\nDid\ you\ know?\ There\ is\ scientific\ proof\ that\ bipedal\ creatures\ similar\ to\ \nmodern\ day\ wolves,\ cats\ and\ horses\ existed\ and\ even\ had\ their\ own\ \nproto-languages.\ It\ is\ theorized\ that\ today's\ \"furries\"\ are\ the\ offspring\ of\ \nthese\ ancient\ races.\n%\nThe\ lolly\ is\ a\ phallic\ symbol.\ It\ was\ invented\ by\ man\ in\ his\ eternal\ quest\ \nto\ subjugate\ women\ and\ dominate\ them\ by\ teaching\ children\ the\ act\ of\ \nfellatio\ at\ a\ young\ age\ -\ especially\ female\ children.\ To\ have\ equality\ among\ \npeople,\ we\ should\ eliminate\ such\ travesties\ of\ recreation.\ But\ lollies\ are\ \ntoo\ deply\ entrenched\ in\ our\ society\ for\ them\ to\ be\ removed\ without\ much\ \nharm.\ Therefore\ I\ propose\ to\ balance\ the\ situation\ by\ introducing\ a\ new\ type\ \nof\ lolly\ -\ it\ shall\ contain\ two\ sticks\ instead\ of\ one\ and\ to\ consume\ it,\ \npeople\ must\ spread\ out\ the\ sticks\ and\ lick\ in\ between,\ symbolising\ \ncunnilingus.\n%\nI\ can't\ believe\ that\ you\ banned\ my\ firneds\ computer\ along\ with\ my\ work\ one.\ \nWhat\ the\ fuck\ dude.\ Can't\ you\ fucking\ deal.\ I\ really\ have\ no\ Idea\ waht\ the\ \nfucking\ beef\ is\ with\ me.Really\ you\ fucking\ one.\ I\ no\ longer\ post\ during\ the\ \nday.\ I\ look\ at\ the\ site\ once\ a\ week\ if\ that.\ Really.\ If\ you\ see\ that\ fake\ \npersona\ only\ had\ 12\ post\ over\ 2\ months.\ THat\ is\ rediculus\ for\ me.\ So\ really\ \nfuck\ you.\ I\ can't\ believe\ that\ you\ banned\ my\ friends\ computer\ cause\ i\ posted\ \non\ it.\ What\ did\ you\ want\ me\ to\ do.Worst\ part\ is\ that\ I\ have\ had\ convoy's\ \nwith\ you\ on\ the\ other\ board\ and\ I\ know\ you\ have\ had\ no\ IDEA\ who\ I\ am.Man\ \ndude\ get\ in\ touch\ with\ me\ and\ lets\ hash\ this\ shit\ out.\ I\ am\ sick\ of\ this\ \nshit.Better\ yet\ call\ me\ so\ I\ can\ bitch\ you\ out\ over\ the\ phone\ and\ get\ this\ \nover\ with..Ps.\ I\ am\ not\ crunk\ right\ now\ just\ drunk\ and\ go\ ahead\ and\ bann\ \nthis\ IP\ addy\ wile\ your\ at\ it\ you\ fuck\ head.\n%\nThis\ has\ to\ be\ the\ most\ pathetic\ attempt\ at\ flaming\ I've\ ever\ seen.\ I\ was\ \nlaughing,\ so\ if\ that's\ what\ you\ intended,\ congratulations,\ otherwise,\ \nperhaps\ it\ would\ behoove\ you\ to\ find\ out\ what\ autism\ is\ before\ make\ stupid,\ \nunwitty\ posts\ about\ sufferers\ of\ the\ disease.\ Now,\ if\ you'd\ like\ to\ try\ to\ \nflame\ me,\ make\ it\ a\ real\ flame.\n%\nWell,\ I\ can't\ waste\ all\ day\ in\ this\ IRC.\ Gotta\ go\ to\ a\ T5\ meet\ for\ some\ \ntraining.\ Gotta\ place\ high\ in\ this\ years\ TiT\ and\ Evo2k5\ tournaments.\ (Tekken\ \n5.)\ See\ ya\ guys.\ :(\n%\nI've\ been\ foruming\ for\ ten\ years,\ been\ a\ moderator\ /\ admin\ of\ forums\ and\ all\ \nthat.\ It\ gets\ old\ after\ awile.\ I\ enjoy\ trolling\ shitty\ websites\ more\ than\ \nanything.\n%\nWhen\ I\ got\ home,\ the\ dog\ looked\ like\ it\ needed\ some\ more\ sex,\ so\ I\ unzipped\ \nmy\ cock\ and\ inserted\ it\ into\ the\ hound.\ We\ had\ sex\ all\ night.\ When\ it\ was\ \ndead\ in\ the\ morning,\ I\ was\ still\ raping\ it.\ When\ I\ was\ 80\ years\ old\ and\ the\ \ncorpse\ was\ decomposed\ and\ crawing\ with\ maggots,\ I\ was\ still\ ejaculating\ my\ \nseed\ into\ the\ empty\ shell.\ Later,\ I\ died.\n%\nDon't\ rely\ on\ risky\ conventional\ aphrodesiacs.\ Our\ patented\ formula\ \nharnesses\ the\ power\ of\ a\ biochemical\ reaction\ to\ create\ controlled\ \nexplosions\ in\ your\ testicles,\ propelling\ you\ into\ the\ INCREDIBLE\ SEMEN-FREE\ \nEXPLOSIVE\ ORGASM\ of\ a\ lifetime!\ She'll\ never\ cheat\ on\ you\ again\ after\ she\ \nfeels\ the\ POWER\ of\ our\ patented\ testicle\ exploding\ forumula.\n%\nBETTER\ NOT\ HEAR\ OF\ ANYONE\ BREAKING\ THIS\ ONE\ OR\ SEE\ DELETED.\ This\ is\ a\ ribbon\ \nfor\ soldiers\ fighting\ in\ Iraq.\ Pass\ it\ on\ to\ everyone\ and\ pray.\ Something\ \ngood\ will\ happen\ to\ you\ tonight\ at\ 11:11\ PM.\ This\ is\ not\ a\ joke.\ Someone\ \nwill\ either\ call\ you\ or\ will\ talk\ to\ you\ online\ and\ say\ that\ they\ love\ you.\ \nDo\ not\ break\ this\ chain.\ Send\ this\ to\ 13\ people\ in\ the\ next\ 15\ minutes.\ Go\n%\ndo\ you\ ever\ get\ these\ weird\ urges\ to\ jerk\ off..\ and\ then\ after\ you\ do\ you\ \nget\ this\ sick\ feeling\ in\ your\ stomach\ like\ you're\ going\ to\ throwup\ and\ \npassout\ ?\n%\nOkay,\ so\ you\ want\ to\ mack\ it\ with\ the\ ladies,\ but\ don't\ know\ where\ to\ start?\ \n\ How\ about\ you\ groom\ yourself\ you\ fucking\ pig.\ \ Here's\ your\ first\ lesson:\ \nWOMEN\ HATE\ MEN\ WITH\ BALL\ HAIR.\ \ There\ are\ some\ common\ technique\ for\ removal\ \n(i.e.\ razor,\ electric\ razor,\ nair)\ but\ my\ favorite\ is\ the\ time\ proven\ method\ \nof\ plucking.\ \ Start\ by\ sitting\ in\ a\ chair.\ \ Now,\ stretch\ your\ penis\ between\ \nyour\ testicles\ and\ hold\ it\ there.\ \ This\ will\ decrease\ the\ electric\ signals\ \nbeing\ sent\ to\ your\ brain\ everytime\ you\ pluck,\ bye\ bye\ pain!\ \ You\ should\ be\ \ndone\ in\ about\ 10\ minutes,\ and\ after\ that,\ you're\ on\ your\ way\ to\ Fellatio\ \nFarms.\ \ Go\ getum\ Cassanova.\n%\nEmoticons\ are\ useful,\ since\ they\ can\ at\ least\ partially\ take\ the\ place\ of\ \nfacial\ expressions,\ gestures,\ and\ tone\ of\ voice,\ all\ of\ which\ give\ clues\ to\ \nmeaning\ beyond\ what\ your\ mere\ words\ convey,\ in\ face\ to\ face\ dialogue.\ They\ \ncan\ easily\ be\ overused\ though,\ or\ used\ in\ a\ far\ too\ cutesy\ fashion,\ somewhat\ \nlike\ a\ girl\ dotting\ her\ i's\ with\ big\ pink\ hearts.\ If\ your\ email\ has\ more\ \nthan\ one\ or\ two\ emoticons\ in\ it,\ yo\n%\nFrankly,\ I\ am\ appalled\ at\ the\ way\ that\ members\ here\ treat\ the\ underground\ \nfurry\ community.\ It\ seems\ to\ me\ like\ nobody\ here\ really\ understands\ anything\ \nabout\ the\ furry\ way\ of\ life.\ I\ mean,\ seriously,\ do\ you\ know\ how\ freeing\ it\ \nis\ be\ honest\ about\ being\ encased\ in\ a\ human\ body\ whilst\ having\ an\ animal\ \nsoul?\n%\nWhat\ the\ fuck\ does\ it\ mean?\ What's\ the\ point?\ Is\ that\ sticker\ telling\ me\ to\ \ndrive\ more\ carefully\ because\ you've\ spawned,\ and\ you're\ carrying\ said\ spawn\ \nin\ your\ auto-mobile?\ Why\ should\ I\ care?\ You're\ obvously\ an\ idiot,\ so\ why\ \nshould\ I\ have\ any\ regard\ for\ the\ waste\ matter\ that\ sprung\ screaming\ from\ \nyour\ idiot\ loins?\ I'm\ gonna\ drive\ how\ I'm\ gonna\ drive.\ Just\ because\ you've\ \ngone\ out\ of\ your\ way\ to\ inform\ me\ that\ you\ happen\ to\ be\ transporting\ your\ \nworthless\ Shit-Factory\ doesn't\ mean\ I'm\ going\ to\ alter\ my\ driving\ style\ in\ \nthe\ least.\ And\ that's\ another\ thing.\ That\ shit\ automatically\ assumes\ that\ \nI'm\ the\ shitty\ driver.\ What\ about\ you?\ Shouldn't\ you\ be\ the\ one\ driving\ more\ \ncarefully\ because\ your\ squealing\ tit-sucker\ is\ in\ the\ passenger\ seat?\ Why\ \nare\ you\ telling\ me\ about\ it?\ If\ I'm\ walking\ to\ the\ post\ office\ to\ mail\ a\ \npriceless\ Ming\ vase,\ I\ don't\ shout\ at\ every\ person\ on\ the\ street\ \"FRAGILE!\ \nFRAGILE\ CONTENTS\ HERE,\ BE\ CAREFUL\ WALKING\ AROUND\ ME!\"\ No,\ that\ would\ be\ \nstupid.\ However,\ buying\ some\ stupid-ass\ 99\ cent\ sticker\ that\ says\ \"Baby\ on\ \nBoard\"\ is\ supposed\ to\ magically\ transform\ everyone\ on\ the\ freeway\ into\ \nperfect\ drivers.\n%\nI\ am\ a\ 15\ year\ old\ guy,\ I\ am\ 5'7\",\ and\ HATE\ humanity.\ I\ despise\ every\ piece\ \nof\ life\ around\ me,\ and\ I\ understand\ that\ this\ might\ classify\ me\ as\ insane,\ \nbut\ so\ what.\ I\ HATE\ christians(well\ most\ of\ them,\ but\ not\ all)\ because\ all\ \nthey\ do\ is\ shove\ there\ religon\ on\ you,\ why\ don't\ they\ just\ let\ me\ believe\ \nwhat\ I\ want?\ But\ anyways,\ just\ come\ on\ in,\ and\ see\ what\ I\ have\ been\ feeling\ \nlike\ today.\ Later...\n%\nu\ all\ people\ are\ goddam\ nigger\ fucktards!\ fuck\ u\ all!\ nigger\ fucktards!\ eat\ \nmy\ shit\ motherfuckers!\ goddam\ nigger\ fucktards!\ fucktards\ all!\ god\ damn\ you\ \nnigger\ fucktards!\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ the\ recently\ cancelled\ television\ show\ \"enterprise\"\ because\ \nno\ matter\ how\ many\ fat\ sweaty\ nerds\ profess\ their\ love\ for\ you,\ you\ are\ \nstill\ just\ a\ piece\ of\ shit\ whore\ that\ no\ respectable\ man\ would\ allow\ himself\ \nto\ be\ seen\ in\ public\ with\n%\ngirl,\ u\ must\ have\ a\ 2d20\ spell\ resistance\ because\ you\ are\ resisting\ my\ magic\ \nmissile\n%\nFace\ it,\ you\ just\ want\ an\ ipod\ so\ you\ can\ hack\ the\ firmware\ to\ make\ it\ \nvibrate\ then\ stick\ the\ smooth\ case\ up\ your\ ass\ you\ big\ FAG!!!\n%\nYou\ don't\ me,\ but\ I\ was\ looking\ through\ yahoo\ profiles\ and\ I\ saw\ that\ you\ \nare\ in\ Texas\ City.\ The\ reason\ that\ I'm\ writing\ to\ you\ is\ I'm\ a\ handsome,\ \ngoodlooking\ straight\ male.\ But\ lately\ I've\ been\ getting\ the\ urge\ to\ know\ how\ \ndoes\ it\ feel\ to\ suck\ a\ cock.\ I'm\ very\ serious\ about\ this,\ this\ is\ not\ a\ \njoke.\ If\ you\ havent'\ figured\ it\ out\ yet,\ I'd\ like\ to\ suck\ your\ dick.\ You\ \nmight\ look\ at\ this\ email\ and\ not\ be\ interested\ at\ all,\ and\ I'd\ understand\ if\ \nyou\ don't.\ If\ your\ not\ interested,\ you\ can\ write\ me\ back\ and\ tell\ me\ to\ go\ \nto\ hell,\ and\ I\ won't\ bother\ you\ again.\ To\ let\ you\ know,\ a\ guy\ sucks\ better\ \ncock\ than\ any\ female,\ cause\ only\ a\ guy\ knows\ what\ a\ guy\ likes.\ If\ you're\ \ninterested,\ it\ will\ be\ secretly\ and\ discreet.\ If\ you\ are\ interested,\ just\ \nwrite\ me\ and\ let\ me\ know.\ If\ your\ not,\ like\ I\ said,\ just\ tell\ me\ to\ go\ to\ \nhell.\ Let\ me\ know.\n%\nLinux\ Scat\ Ode\ :\ The\ chat\ has\ moved\ off\ this\ mortal\ coil.\ To\ replace\ the\ \nentertainment\ ,\ my\ pants\ :\ I'll\ soil!\ Turds\ smashing\ into\ the\ boxers\ all\ \nnite.\ I'll\ take\ them\ off\ and\ sniff.\ Ohh\ yeah.\ Dats\ rite.\ The\ smell\ is\ \ndivine,\ the\ taste\ is\ great.\ Now\ all\ I\ need\ is\ a\ paper\ plate.\ Going\ to\ \nButch's\ with\ this\ fresh\ poopie.\ I\ hope\ he's\ thirsty.\ Because\ this\ poop\ is\ :\ \nsoupy.\ My\ bowel\ movements\ are\ incredibly\ loose.\ Thats\ ok,\ I\ lo\ Its\ a\ shame\ \nthat\ my\ body\ is\ nothing\ but\ lard.\ Oh\ the\ life\ of\ a\ Linux\ Fatty\ Shit-eating\ \nScat\ Fiend.\ Oh\ no\ mom\ is\ comming!!!\ This\ chat\ session\ :\ screen'd\n%\nWhen\ I\ installed\ Linux\ it\ asked\ me\ for\ my\ credit\ card\ number.\ Two\ days\ later\ \nI\ got\ a\ call\ from\ Wachovia\ asking\ me\ if\ I\ had\ purchased\ \$400\ worth\ of\ \nTotino's\ pizza\ rolls\ and\ Mountain\ Dew\ (I\ hadn't).\ Let\ this\ be\ a\ warning\ to\ \nall\ of\ you\ out\ there\ in\ the\ Internet.\n%\ndidnt\ ben\ franklin\ invent\ lightning\ or\ was\ that\ edison?\n%\nSo\ I'm\ out\ with\ my\ niece\ at\ our\ local\ shopping\ mall\ here\ in\ Philadelphia,\ \ncalled\ the\ Gallery,\ we\ had\ just\ gotten\ some\ delicious\ banana\ yogurt\ \nshakes...and\ who\ do\ we\ see\ but\ Mr.\ Hasselhoff!\ He\ was\ signing\ sneakers\ at\ \nFoot\ Locker,\ apparently\ he\ has\ a\ new\ line\ of\ Sketchers\ out\ or\ something\ (?)\ \nand\ there\ he\ was.\ I\ told\ him\ that\ I\ used\ to\ wish\ i\ had\ a\ car\ like\ Kitt\ and\ \nhe\ laughed\ and\ then\ i\ laughed\ and\ then\ he\ got\ really\ serious\ all\ of\ a\ \nsudden.He\ leaned\ close\ and\ whispered\ to\ me\ that\ Kitt\ was\ real.\ He\ said\ he\ \ncould\ press\ a\ button\ and\ Kitt\ would\ come\ flying\ into\ the\ mall\ right\ there\ \nrunning\ over\ people\ and\ causing\ massive\ havoc.\ I'm\ not\ sure\ if\ he\ was\ \nkidding\ or\ not\ but\ my\ niece\ got\ real\ scared\ and\ spilled\ her\ banana\ yogurt\ \nshake.\ Is\ this\ unusual\ for\ Mr.\ Hasselhoff\ to\ act\ like\ this?\ This\ is\ our\ \nfirst\ David\ sighting\ and\ to\ be\ honest\ i\ was\ a\ little\ nervous.\n%\nYOU\ ARE\ THE\ BIGGEST\ FUCKING\ GROUP\ OF\ UTTER.\ FUCKING.\ IDIOTIC.\ SHIT\ EATING.\ \nCIRCLEJERK.\ FAGGOTS.\ EVER.\ TO.\ WALK.\ THE.\ EARTH.\ NOTHING\ YOU\ SAY\ TO\ ME\ CAN\ \nHURT\ ME\ AT\ ALL!\ YOU\ ARE\ NOT\ INTELLIGENT,\ EDGY\ OR\ COOL,\ YOU\ ARE\ JUST\ A\ \nPATHETIC\ FUCKING\ PIECES\ OF\ SHIT\ WHO\ LIKE\ TO\ BELLITLE\ OTHERS\ OVER\ THE\ \nINTERNET\ TO\ FEEL\ BETTER\ ABOUT\ THEMSELVES.\ FUCK\ YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\n%\nSo\ you're\ working\ out\ and\ getting\ buff\ so\ you\ are\ strong\ to\ do\ what?\ \n\"Getting\ women\"\ as\ if\ they\ are\ objects\ to\ do\ what?\ Fuck\ them\ and\ forget\ \nabout\ it?\ Some\ life.\ \"Getting\ women\"\ improves\ your\ social\ status\ amongst\ \nthose\ who\ hi-five\ people\ for\ being\ \"playa\"s.\ \ Who\ gives\ a\ damn\ about\ being\ \nmore\ social\ amongst\ those\ vapid\ wastes\ of\ food\ and\ employment?\ Video\ games\ \nare\ a\ great\ way\ to\ have\ fun,\ and\ enjoy\ things\ that\ are\ availible\ to\ you\ in\ \nlife.\ \ Not\ only\ this,\ but\ the\ making\ of\ a\ game\ is\ an\ art\ form\ -\ by\ playing\ \nthrough,\ say,\ an\ RPG,\ you\ are\ treated\ to\ a\ grand\ story\ that\ is\ just\ \noverwhelmingly\ more\ fufilling\ than\ going\ out,\ fucking\ some\ chick,\ hi-fiving\ \nyourself\ and\ calling\ it\ a\ night.\n%\nfor\ the\ past\ several\ years\ I've\ been\ mailing\ all\ my\ feces\ to\ Ralph\ Nader.\ \nEvery\ time\ I\ defecate,\ I\ do\ so\ in\ a\ zip\ lock\ bag,\ which\ I\ then\ send\ to\ Ralph\ \nNader's\ home\ address\ via\ USPS\ priority\ mail.\ Though\ I\ always\ clearly\ write\ \nmy\ name\ and\ address\ on\ the\ return\ portion\ of\ the\ envelope,\ I\ have\ never\ \nrecieved\ a\ reply,\ nor\ have\ any\ of\ my\ mailings\ been\ refused\ :|\n%\nI\ lick\ my\ own\ fecal\ matter\ from\ time\ to\ time,\ it's\ not\ as\ bad\ as\ you'd\ \nthink.\ I\ even\ got\ my\ old\ girlfriend\ to\ try\ it,\ I\ talked\ it\ about\ it\ for\ so\ \nlong,\ I\ actually\ convinced\ her\ to\ wipe\ me\ after\ a\ dump\ with\ her\ tounge.\ She\ \ngot\ stabbed\ by\ some\ guy\ 2\ months\ later.\n%\nA\ beautiful\ young\ lady\ is\ on\ her\ knees\ sucking\ my\ cock.\ I\ am\ leaning\ forward\ \nand\ bracing\ myself\ against\ the\ wall.\ I\ can\ feel\ her\ spreading\ my\ ass\ cheeks\ \nto\ allow\ her\ boyfriend\ to\ enter\ me.\ He's\ in\ and\ starting\ to\ stroke\ in\ and\ \nout.\ Every\ forward\ thrust\ pushes\ my\ cock\ further\ and\ further\ into\ her\ mouth.\ \nI\ can\ feel\ her\ reaching\ under\ my\ balls\ to\ feel\ his\ cock\ going\ in\ and\ out\ of\ \nmy\ ass.\n%\njust\ went\ to\ micro\$ofts\ web\ site\ to\ get\ some\ drivers\ for\ my\ cousin\ and\ it\ \nlocked\ my\ machine\ -\ Of\ course\ I\ am\ using\ unbuntu\ and\ firefox\ -\ funny\ thing\ \nis\ when\ I\ unplugged\ my\ network\ cable\ I\ got\ my\ mouse\ back\ and\ disconnected\ \nfrom\ their\ site\ -\ seems\ everything\ works\ fine\ now\ but\ I\ sure\ hope\ they\ \nweren't\ trying\ to\ put\ sypware\ or\ root\ kit\ on\ my\ computer.\ they\ will\ hear\ \nfrom\ if\ I\ find\ anything.\ piss\ off\ microsoft\ -\ what\ are\ you\ now\ keeping\ \npeople\ that\ don't\ run\ your\ os\ from\ your\ web\ site.\n%\nDid\ you\ know\ that\ the\ first\ knights\ in\ Medieval\ times\ were\ actually\ Negroid?\ \nIndeed,\ the\ word\ \"knight\"\ comes\ from\ the\ Old\ English\ \"niht\"\ meaning\ night\ or\ \ndarkness.\ As\ time\ progressed,\ more\ and\ more\ Caucasians\ were\ accepted\ into\ \nthis\ sacrosanct\ brotherhood,\ but\ many\ historians\ agree\ that,\ while\ King\ \nArthur\ was\ definitely\ a\ white\ man,\ his\ entire\ round\ table\ of\ knights\ were\ \nexclusively\ colored!\n%\nI'm\ gambling\ that\ Apple\ is\ expecting\ to\ keep\ profit\ margins\ up\ by\ keeping\ \nreturn/repair\ rates\ extremely\ low\ by\ using\ quality\ components\n%\ni\ need\ dank\ nugs,\ smoke\ roach\ bugs,\ bird-man\ lugs,\ tree\ smokin\ thugs,\ i'm\ on\ \na\ mission\ to\ secure\ a\ blunt,\ don't\ be\ pullin\ no\ bogartin'\ stunt,\ hoardin\ \nthat\ shit\ ain't\ really\ kind,\ absorb\ that\ herb\ into\ yo\ mind,\ smokin'\ and\ \ntokin'\ until\ you're\ blind,\ what\ out\ for\ 5-0\ or\ you\ gonna\ get\ fined\n%\nAll\ this\ \"linux\ dependabilty\ uptime\ unix\ lol\"\ bullshit\ is\ just\ that,\ a\ crock\ \nof\ shit.\ How\ fucking\ hard\ is\ it\ to\ hit\ a\ goddamn\ reset\ button,\ you\ fat\ \nfucking\ sysadmins?\ I\ realize\ your\ just\ about\ to\ hit\ level\ 87\ in\ everquest\ \nand\ you're\ already\ sweating\ from\ reaching\ for\ that\ jolt\ cola\ but\ for\ the\ \nlove\ of\ god\ PLEASE\ stop\ using\ these\ stupid,\ unusable\ operating\ systems!\n%\nMy\ favorites:\ Maxell\ 80\ Minute\ Pro\ (blue)\ for\ solid\ robust\ low\ end,\ detail\ \nand\ clean\ immediacy\;\ Maxell\ Music\ 80\ minute\ gold\ for\ a\ balanced\ \nhight-to-mid-to-bottom\ and\ wide\ sparkle\;\ Fuji\ 80\ Minute\ Audio\ for\ a\ wetter\ \nsound\ (smoothes\ out\ the\ edges).\ Memorex\ Music\ 80\ minutes\ is\ very\ nice,\ Taiyo\ \nYuden\ 700\ MB\ are\ close,\ the\ Mitsui\ and\ BASF\ are\ in\ there,\ Sony\ could\ be\ \nbetter...\n%\nEcstasy,\ also\ known\ as\ MDMA,\ is\ popular\ in\ raves\ as\ a\ drug\ that\ promotes\ \ntolerance.\ An\ empathogen,\ ecstasy\ gives\ its\ user\ heightened\ acceptance\ \ntowards\ other\ people.\ Why\ not\ use\ this\ power\ to\ pacify\ racists?\ My\ idea\ \ncalls\ for\ the\ forced\ injection\ of\ MDMA\ into\ racists,\ or\ risk\ the\ loss\ of\ \nproperty.\ After\ developing\ an\ initial\ addiction\ to\ ecstasy,\ users\ will\ be\ \nrequired\ to\ fuel\ their\ addiction\ by\ purchasing\ more\ of\ the\ substance.\ \nGovernment-run\ vendors\ can\ sell\ their\ wares\ to\ give\ wealth\ back\ to\ minority\ \ncommunities.\ This\ scheme\ will\ allow\ the\ racists\ to\ become\ normal,\ productive\ \nmembers\ of\ society\ while\ putting\ more\ money\ in\ the\ hands\ of\ those\ that\ need\ \nit\ the\ most.\n%\nDon't\ the\ greedy\ boneheads\ at\ Thompson\ Multimedia\ and\ Fraunhofer\ \nGesellschaft\ see\ that\ they\ are\ poisoning\ their\ own\ water\ supply\ by\ causing\ \nthe\ Open\ Source\ community\ to\ develop\ better,\ and\ free,\ codecs\ like\ Ogg\ \nVorbis?\n%\nSo\ there\ I\ was\ zipping\ through\ the\ skies\ of\ Iraq\ in\ a\ helicopter\ my\ \nassociates\ had\ rented\ from\ Blackpool.\ We\ had\ been\ sweating\ it\ out\ as\ we\ were\ \nforced\ to\ maintain\ a\ low\ altitude\ to\ stay\ under\ the\ AAF\ radar,\ which\ kept\ us\ \nsafe\ from\ missile\ batteries\ but\ exposed\ us\ to\ any\ ground\ troops\ we\ happened\ \nacross.\ We\ were\ almost\ home\ free\ to\ the\ green\ zone,\ when\ we\ heard\ the\ \ntelltale\ WHOOSH!\ of\ a\ shoulder-mounted\ ground-to-air\ missile.\ The\ pilot\ \nscreamed\ and\ in\ a\ flash\ we\ were\ spiraling\ out\ of\ control\ and\ the\ ground\ was\ \nrushing\ up\ to\ meet\ us.\ When\ I\ came\ to,\ I\ thought\ I\ must\ be\ in\ heaven,\ \nbecause\ the\ wind\ was\ gently\ rustling\ the\ green\ grass\ that\ seemed\ to\ be\ \ncushioning\ me.\ I\ smiled\ at\ the\ feeling\ of\ the\ warm\ sun\ upon\ my\ face.\ Then\ \nthe\ Arabic\ men\ came.\ While\ a\ thin\ wiry\ one\ waved\ his\ rifle\ and\ screamed\ \nunintelligibly\ at\ me,\ one\ of\ the\ fat\ ones\ pulled\ me\ up\ by\ the\ hair\ to\ my\ \nknees\ and\ unzipped\ his\ khaki\ reliefs.\ Out\ sprung\ the\ largest\ cock\ I've\ ever\ \nseen\ on\ a\ dark-skinned\ man.\ It\ smelled\ of\ couscous\ and\ camels,\ and\ when\ he\ \nforced\ it\ down\ my\ throat\ I\ could\ taste\ a\ hint\ of\ Brut.\ They\ all\ took\ turns\ \nthroat-raping\ me,\ and\ they\ all\ had\ a\ good\ laugh\ when\ my\ screams\ abruptly\ \nstopped\ as\ one\ of\ the\ larger\ cocks\ dislocated\ my\ larynx\ from\ my\ throat\ down\ \ninto\ my\ stomach\ and\ I\ began\ to\ bleed\ from\ my\ nose\ and\ ears.\ After\ they\ were\ \nall\ satisfied,\ they\ pointed\ their\ barrels\ at\ me\ and\ I\ felt\ hot\ lead\ tearing\ \nthrough\ my\ body.\ As\ I\ lay\ prone\ on\ the\ ground,\ just\ before\ I\ blacked\ out,\ I\ \nfelt\ something\ hot\ on\ my\ back\ and\ realized\ that\ the\ fat\ one\ was\ urinating\ \nall\ over\ my\ broken\ American\ corpse\ ohh\ yeah\n%\ni\ was\ going\ through\ the\ logs\ in\ my\ toilet\ today\ and\ i\ found\ a\ letter.\ \ i\ \ndon't\ remember\ eating\ a\ letter.\ \ funny\ thing\ is..\ it\ was\ a\ letter\ from\ my\ \ncolon\ telling\ me\ to\ eat\ less\ fiber.\ \ ps:\ i'm\ shutting\ down\ until\ you\ have\ \nsex\ with\ men.\ \ after\ plowing\ the\ fields\ of\ the\ nearest\ 12\ guys\ i\ could\ find,\ \nmy\ brother\ walks\ into\ the\ room.\ \ he\ says,\ \"haha\ jokes\ on\ you\ i\ put\ that\ note\ \nin\ your\ turd.\ \ you\ just\ fucked\ a\ bunch\ of\ dudes\ for\ nothing,\ homo!\"\ \ this\ is\ \nwhy\ i\ hate\ procreation.\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ from\ stdout\ because\ i'd\ like\ to\ pipe\ you\n%\nWe've\ got\ Justice\ Kennedy\ writing\ decisions\ based\ upon\ international\ law,\ \nnot\ the\ Constitution\ of\ the\ United\ States?\ That's\ just\ outrageous.\ And\ not\ \nonly\ that,\ but\ he\ said\ in\ session\ that\ he\ does\ his\ own\ research\ on\ the\ \nInternet?\ That\ is\ just\ incredibly\ outrageous.\n%\nis\ it\ gay\ that\ sometimes\ when\ i\ take\ a\ shit\ i\ get\ goosebumps\ all\ over\ my\ \nbody?\n%\nYou\ sick,\ sick\ butthole\ licking\ UNIX\ fags.\ How\ DARE\ you\ use\ the\ disgusting\ \nand\ fecal\ OS\ that\ is\ Linux.\ Windows\ is\ BEST!\ You\ fags\ get\ raped\ in\ the\ mind\ \nby\ Tux.\ His\ fag\ penguin\ guise\ makes\ you\ shreik\ out\ in\ terror\ for\ Windows,\ \nbut\ he\ fuckes\ you\ so\ much\ you\ are\ forced\ to\ use\ Linux.\ I\ bet\ the\ fags\ who\ \nreply\ to\ this\ are\ being\ ass\ raped\ as\ we\ speak.\ Linux\ is\ buggy,\ slow,\ bloated\ \nand\ turns\ you\ into\ a\ fag.\ Windows\ is\ best!\ You\ huge\ fruits\ and\ your\ lies\ \nabout\ bill\ games\ must\ cease.\n%\nYOU\ KNOW,\ YOU\ NEEDLE-DICKED\ PANSIES\ COWER\ IN\ FEAR\ WHEN\ I\ WHIP\ MY\ TOWERING\ \nCYCLOPS\ OUT.\ MY\ PENIS\ CONSUMES\ LIGHT\ AND\ WHOLE\ ASTEROIDS\ LIKE\ THEY\ WERE\ \nNOTHING.\ ONE\ TIME\ I\ GOT\ AN\ ERECTION\ AND\ WELL\ THAT\ CAUSED\ A\ WHOLE\ GALAXY\ TO\ \nBE\ SHATTERED\ BY\ THE\ SHEER\ FORCE.\ WHEN\ I\ EJACULATE\ IT\ CAUSES\ THE\ \nGRAVITATIONAL\ CONSTANT\ OF\ THE\ UNIVERSE\ TO\ BE\ ALTERED\ BECAUSE\ OF\ THE\ SUDDEN\ \nINCREASE\ IN\ MASS.\ AT\ THE\ END\ OF\ TIME\ THERE\ WILL\ BE\ NOTHING\ LEFT\ IN\ THE\ \nUNIVERSE\ BUT\ DARK\ MATTER\ AND\ MY\ PENIS.\ MY\ PENIS\ EXISTS\ IN\ FOUR\ DIMENSIONS,\ \nEXPANDING\ OUTWARD\ AT\ LIGHT\ SPEED\ LIKE\ TIME\ ITSELF.\ MY\ PENIS\ COMPOSES\ THE\ \nUNIVERSE\ AND\ TICKLES\ AZATHOTH'S\ OMNIPOTENT\ BUNGHOLE\ WHEN\ THE\ STARS\ ARE\ \nRIGHT.\ ENTROPY\ IS\ BUT\ A\ FART\ IN\ THE\ WIND\ FOR\ MY\ PENIS.\ MY\ PENIS\ CAN\ BREAK\ \nMATHEMATICS!\ IT\ IS\ ABLE\ TO\ TRANSCEND\ REALITY\ AND\ DESTROY\ HUMAN\ THOUGHT\ WITH\ \nITS\ SHEER\ VOLUME\ AND\ MASS.\ MY\ PENIS\ HAS\ A\ PENIS,\ AND\ THAT\ PENIS\ IS\ STILL\ \nBIGGER\ THAN\ YOUR\ PENIS.\n%\nRemember\ the\ Alamo!\ Shoot\ 'em!\ To\ show\ you\ how\ radical\ I\ am,\ I\ want\ \ncarjackers\ dead.\ I\ want\ rapists\ dead.\ I\ want\ burglars\ dead.\ I\ want\ child\ \nmolesters\ dead.\ I\ want\ the\ bad\ guys\ dead.\ No\ court\ case.\ No\ parole.\ No\ early\ \nrelease.\ I\ want\ 'em\ dead.\ Get\ a\ gun\ and\ when\ they\ attack\ you,\ shoot\ 'em.\n%\nI\ use\ Firefox\ sometimes,\ but\ it\ really\ isn't\ that\ good.\ I'd\ rathewr\ use\ IE\ \nthan\ Firefox\ because\ who\ knows\ what\ these\ open-source\ people\ can\ do\ with\ \nyour\ credit\ card\ numbers.\ Not\ that\ Microsoft\ needs\ anymore\ money,\ so\ they\ \nwon't\ try\ to\ scab\ it\ off\ me.\ And\ at\ least\ they\ patch\ their\ browser\ \nautomatically\ with\ Automatic\ Updates\n%\nI'm\ saying\ to\ all\ the\ rappers\ keep\ it\ real.\ Not\ everyone\ on\ your\ road\ crew\ \nlikes\ pussy\ and\ you\ know\ it.\ The\ stylists\ that\ lean\ in\ your\ face,\ do\ your\ \nmake\ up,\ braid\ your\ hair\ may\ just\ have\ your\ body\ guards\ dick\ on\ his\ breath\ -\ \nwhile\ he\ is\ all\ in\ yo\ grill.\n%\npicture\ yourself\ at\ college.\ she's\ the\ foreign\ exchange\ student\ from\ ...\ not\ \nchina,\ the\ other\ one.\ in\ any\ case\ her\ english\ is\ poor\ and\ she\ laughs\ at\ even\ \nyour\ shittiest\ jokes\ without\ understanding.\ you\ know\ she\ likes\ you.\ the\ only\ \nguys\ after\ her\ are\ skinny\ adenoidal\ fags\ that\ she\ gets\ enough\ of\ back\ home.\ \nshe\ laughs\ at\ their\ jokes\ too,\ but\ it's\ not\ them\ she\ sits\ by\ in\ class,\ you\ \ncome\ to\ associate\ that\ class\ with\ the\ smell\ of\ her.\ late\ one\ night\ you're\ in\ \nthe\ library.\ she's\ there\ because\ you're\ there.\ you\ take\ her\ skinny\ wrist\ and\ \nwordlessly\ lead\ her\ to\ the\ carousel\ you\ booked.\ there\ are\ cameras,\ and\ \nneither\ of\ you\ care.\ her\ breathing\ flutters\ and\ she\ looks\ elsewhere\ as\ you\ \npull\ her\ close.\ you\ slide\ a\ hand\ down\ there,\ gliding\ on\ silken\ skin.\ she\ \nleaks\ like\ a\ swollen\ sponge\ that\ has\ absorbed\ all\ it\ can.\ she's\ never\ been\ \nfucked\ in\ a\ library\ before.\ but\ she's\ never\ met\ anyone\ as\ big\ and\ black\ as\ \nyou\ before.\n%\nYou\ know\ how\ sometimes\ when\ you\ poop,\ it's\ a\ blue\ color?\ \ Well,\ I\ had\ one\ of\ \nthose\ poops\ on\ Friday\ because\ I\ had\ been\ eating\ artificially\ colored\ animal\ \ncrackers.\ \ After\ pinching\ a\ couple\ out,\ I\ thought\ it\ would\ be\ funny\ to\ trick\ \nmy\ girlfriend.\ \ I\ placed\ them\ on\ the\ coffee\ table\ and\ told\ her\ they\ were\ \nnovelty\ candies.\ \ Before\ I\ could\ tell\ her\ I\ was\ just\ joking,\ she\ took\ a\ \nbite!\ \ Well,\ after\ a\ long\ weekend\ in\ the\ hospital,\ my\ girlfriend\ died\ of\ \nspinal\ meningitis.\ \ God's\ going\ to\ punish\ me\ for\ this\ one,\ I\ just\ know\ it.\n%\nCheck\ this\ shit\ out.\ Sucks\ pubic\ hair\ from\ your\ furniture\ and\ sextoys\ \nwithout\ stopping\ every\ 5\ minutes\ to\ douche.\ The\ Dyson\ DC\ 14\ Animal\ features\ \na\ telescopic\ vibrating\ dildo\ that\ instantly\ releases\ semen\ 17\ feet\ at\ the\ \ntouch\ of\ a\ vein.\ In\ addition,\ the\ DC\ 14\ Animal\ features\ a\ wide\ vagina\ that\ \npicks\ up\ large\ hookers\ that\ other\ trick\ ass\ niggas\ leave\ behind.\ A\ mini\ \nturbine\ head-sucking\ dog\ and\ cat\ combination\ saves\ you\ from\ tight\ spaces\ \nlike\ ass,\ pussy\ or\ lips\ and\ a\ low\ reach\ faggot\ tool\ simplifies\ the\ task\ of\ \nfelching\ under\ pressure.\ The\ DC\ 14\ Animal\ also\ features\ a\ carpet\ care\ kit\ to\ \nkeep\ your\ camel\ toe\ looking\ like\ new.\ Available\ at\ your\ local\ zoo.\n%\nIf\ Jesus\ was\ Jewish,\ then\ why\ did\ he\ have\ a\ Puerto\ Rican\ name?\ You\ Stupid\ \nFaggots.\n%\nDear\ Sir,With\ due\ respect\ and\ humility\ I\ am\ writing\ this\ mail\ letter\ to\ you\ \nwhich\ I\ believe\ that\ this\ letter\ will\ not\ embarrassed\ you\ as\ we\ have\ not\ met\ \nor\ seen\ each\ other\ before.My\ name\ is\ Pastor\ Steve\ Camara,\ from\ republic\ of\ \nBenin\ in\ west\ Africa\ region,\ pastor\ in\ charge\ of\ Revival\ Church\ Of\ God\ \nMission\ (RCGM)\ here\ in\ Abidjan\ Cote\ D'\ Ivoire.I\ am\ writing\ you\ in\ regards\ of\ \nmoney\ transfer\ which\ late\ Pope\ John\ Paul\ II\ reviewed\ to\ me\ a\ week\ ago\ before\ \nhis\ death\ through\ feeding\ tube\ after\ his\ long\ ill\ health,\ that\ his\ late\ wife\ \nwho\ is\ Mrs.\ Esther\ Benson\ deposited\ the\ sum\ of\ US\$\ 4.000.000.00(four\ Million\ \nDollars)\ with\ a\ finance\ house\ here\ in\ Abidjan\ for\ the\ two\ (2)\ remaining\ \nchildren\ PAUL\ III\ AND\ MARY\ for\ there\ future.Before\ the\ death\ of\ Pope\ John\ \nPaul\ II\ he\ told\ me\ that\ this\ money\ US\$\ 4.000.000.00\ Dollars\ wasacquired\ \ngenuinely,\ that\ his\ late\ wife\ has\ a\ diamond\ shop\ in\ there\ country\ which\ was\ \ndestroyed\ during\ the\ war\ that\ leads\ to\ his\ husband\ death\ two\ year\ ago\ \nthrough\ heart\ attack.It\ is\ because\ of\ the\ confidence\ he\ had\ on\ me\ as\ his\ \npastor,\ he\ told\ me\ about\ this\ deposit\ and\ his\ last\ request\ to\ me\ before\ his\ \nfinal\ breat\ is\ that\ I\ should\ try\ as\ much\ as\ I\ can\ to\ look\ for\ foreigner,\ \neither\ individual,\ company\ or\ organisation\ who\ can\ handle\ this\ transaction\ \nwith\ care\ and\ confidence\ for\ the\ future\ of\ her\ two\ children\ that\ is\ \npresently\ staying\ with\ me\ as\ there\ parents\ for\ now\ as\ she\ cannot\ make\ it\ for\ \nthem.Finally,\ if\ this\ letter\ touches\ your\ heart\ and\ you\ are\ willing\ to\ be\ of\ \nassistance\ to\ this\ two\ children,\ I\ will\ like\ you\ to\ indicate\ your\ full\ \ninterest\ to\ enable\ me\ give\ you\ more\ details\ on\ how\ to\ proceed\ with\ this\ \ntransfer.\ Also\ note\ that\ all\ the\ deposit\ document\ of\ this\ money\ was\ on\ this\ \nwoman\ name\ as\ the\ beneficiary\ that\ made\ with\ the\ finance\ house\ \nhere.Expecting\ your\ urgent\ mail\ to\ this\ effect.Thanks\ and\ remain\ bless.\n%\nthat\ is\ the\ nerdiest\ thing\ i\ have\ ever\ seen\ aside\ from\ my\ girlfriend\ and\ i\ \nwearing\ matching\ firefox\ tshirts\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ in\ the\ kkk\ because\ i\ think\ we'll\ have\ a\ lot\ of\ fun\ once\ we\ \nget\ under\ the\ sheets\n%\nGirl,\ you\ must\ be\ Snort\ because\ I'd\ like\ to\ trigger\ your\ intrusion\ detection\ \nsystems\n%\nI'm\ going\ to\ be\ taking\ a\ long\ vacation\ in\ a\ couple\ months\ and\ I\ want\ to\ take\ \na\ sheet\ of\ acid\ over\ with\ me.\ I'd\ really\ rather\ not\ bring\ it\ with\ me\ on\ the\ \nplane\ as\ I've\ seen\ the\ security\ measures\ at\ the\ airport\ I'll\ be\ flying\ to\ \nand\ they're\ pretty\ strict,\ so\ I\ was\ thinking\ of\ faxing\ it\ over\ before\ hand.\ \nAnyone\ know\ if\ this\ would\ work?\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ grand\ theft\ auto:\ san\ andreas\ because\ once\ i\ get\ inside\ of\ \nyou\ i'm\ going\ to\ do\ all\ sorts\ of\ illegal\ things\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ tiger\ woods\ because\ no\ matter\ what\ you\ do,\ you'll\ still\ \njust\ be\ a\ nigger\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ a\ dialup\ internet\ connection\ because\ every\ time\ i\ want\ to\ \ndo\ something\ useful\ on\ the\ phone\ i\ have\ to\ shut\ you\ up\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ an\ o'reilly\ technical\ manual\ because\ despite\ your\ high\ \nprice\ tag,\ you\ never\ say\ anything\ meaningful\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ charles\ barkley\ because\ i\ want\ to\ take\ you\ to\ the\ hole\ but\ \ni\ doubt\ you\ would\ be\ impressed\ with\ my\ full-court\ press\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ a\ rare\ warez\ release\ because\ after\ i\ get\ my\ hands\ on\ you,\ \ni'm\ going\ to\ pass\ you\ off\ to\ all\ of\ my\ friends\n%\nDid\ you\ know?\ Timothy\ McVeigh\ conspired\ with\ Terry\ Nichols\ to\ destroy\ the\ \nAlfred\ P.\ Murrah\ Federal\ Building\ by\ exchanging\ messages\ using\ the\ popular\ \n\"Bit\ Torrent\"\ internet\ program,\ which\ quickly\ and\ anonymously\ allows\ users\ \nto\ exchange\ large\ volumes\ of\ confidential\ documents.\n%\n######\ REFUSE\ RACISM\ &\ POLITICAL\ GARBAGE\ ON\ OSS\ #######UBUNTO\ IS\ AN\ \nANTI-WHITE\ RACIST\ OS\ FUNDED\ BY\ AN\ AFRICAN-AMERICAN\ WHO\ USES\ LINUX\ TO\ THROW\ \nHIS\ AFRICAN\ PROPAGANDA\ DOWN\ OUR\ COLLECTIVE\ THROATS!!REFRAIN\ FROM\ ABUSING\ OSS\ \nTO\ PEDAL\ POLITICAL\ PROGANDA!HAVING\ AN\ OS\ THAT\ PEDALS\ MULTICULTURALISM,\ \nMISCEGENATION\ AND\ INTERRACIAL\ RELATIONS\ IS\ THE\ EQUAL\ OF\ AN\ 'ANTI-JEW\ OS\ \nBUILD'\ -\ UNNACEPTABLE,\ DISGUSTING\ AND\ ANTI-OPEN\ SOURCE.MR\ AMERICAN\ BLACK\ \nSUPREMACIST\ -\ OPENSOURCE\ DOES\ NOT\ NEED\ *NOR\ WANTS*\ YOUR\ MONEY.######\ REFUSE\ \nRACISM\ &\ POLITICAL\ GARBAGE\ ON\ OSS\ #######\n%\nPunctuation\ marks\ that\ look\ like\ smiley\ faces\ express\ happiness\ on\ a\ new\ \ncommunication\ tool\ known\ as\ \"Internet.\"\ The\ computer\ network\ is\ already\ \nbeing\ used\ by\ 15\ million\ people\ worldwide\ to\ chat\ or\ do\ important\ research.\n%\nDid\ you\ know:\ Google\ Inc.\ was\ the\ original\ corporate\ investor\ in\ 50\ Cent's\ \ncareer,\ advancing\ him\ \$15,000\ to\ produce\ his\ first\ album\ \"Get\ Rich\ Or\ Die\ \nTryin\"\ (Interscope\ 2003).\ 50\ Cent\ gave\ Google\ a\ grateful\ nod\ when\ he\ named\ \nhis\ side\ group\ \"G-Unit\"\ (Google\ Unit),\ and\ they\ maintain\ a\ healthy\ business\ \nrelationship\ to\ this\ day.\n%\nRussel\ Simmons\ is\ truely\ a\ hero\ amongst\ us.\ \ He\ owns\ his\ own\ music\ label,\ \nshoe\ company,\ and\ even\ a\ clothing\ line,\ rightfully\ named\ PHAT\ FARM!\ \ The\ \nclothes\ are\ hand\ stitched\ together\ by\ hundreds\ of\ obese\ naked\ women\ sitting\ \nin\ tubs\ of\ sperm.\ \ Their\ only\ form\ of\ payment\ is\ cunnilingus\ performed\ by\ \nfarm\ animals,\ hence\ the\ clothing\ name!\ \ Simmons\ is\ a\ brilliant\ man!\n%\nalright\ im\ not\ a\ freak\ lyk\ you....i\ dont\ put\ little\ periods\ after\ my\ \nsentences..aportophes\ in\ my\ sentences\ or\ fricking\ commas\ :-D\ so\ i'd\ say\ you\ \nback\ the\ fuck\ off\ because\ your\ the\ kind\ of\ person\ NOBODY\ likes\ cuz\ your\ a\ \nfatass\ loser\ with\ no\ friends\ and\ is\ a\ stuck\ up\ freak:-)\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ the\ warp\ core\ of\ the\ starship\ enterprise\ because\ if\ you\ \never\ start\ acting\ up\ i\ will\ dump\ you\n%\nAll\ the\ guys\ in\ this\ IRC\ channel\ I\ hang\ out\ in\ are\ really\ profane\ and\ gross.\ \nThey\ talk\ about\ child\ porn\ and\ act\ racist\ a\ lot\ of\ the\ time,\ and\ every\ night\ \nbefore\ I\ go\ to\ bed\ I\ pray\ for\ God's\ forgiveness,\ and\ for\ God\ to\ forgive\ \nthem.\ Then\ I\ remember\ I'm\ wiccan.\ Blessed\ be!\n%\nCan\ anyone\ tell\ me\ how\ many\ times\ these\ high\ and\ mighty\ evolution\ scientists\ \nhave\ already\ backpedalled\ and\ changed\ their\ version\ of\ the\ truth\ to\ fit\ some\ \nnew\ finding?\ I've\ already\ lost\ the\ count...\ pathetic,\ really.\n%\nI\ am\ amazed\ at\ all\ the\ scientists\ who\ think\ they\ know\ \"facts\"\ when\ their\ \ntheories\ are\ not\ really\ anything\ more\ then\ a\ \"best\ guess\".\ And\ their\ guesses\ \ncare\ changing\ all\ the\ time.\ God's\ story\ has\ not\ changed\ at\ all.\ I\ believe\ we\ \nshould\ teach\ creationism\ in\ schools,\ it\ will\ serve\ more\ people\ better.\ Out\ \nof\ a\ high\ school\ graduation\ class\ of\ 1000,\ how\ many\ will\ go\ on\ to\ a\ career\ \nin\ science?\ Say\ that\ 700\ of\ them\ go\ on\ to\ college\ and\ that\ 300\ go\ into\ the\ \nwork\ force.\ Of\ the\ 700,\ 100\ decide\ they\ want\ to\ major\ in\ physics\ or\ \nchemistry.\ Of\ them\ 70\ get\ weeded\ out.\ You\ now\ have\ 30\ people\ who\ will\ \ncontinue.\ The\ other\ 970\ people\ will\ be\ better\ served\ with\ an\ education\ that\ \nfocuses\ on\ creationism.\ We\ are\ living\ in\ a\ time\ with\ relative\ ethics.\ We\ are\ \nliving\ in\ an\ increasing\ secular\ society,\ where\ life\ means\ little.\ We\ all\ \nwatched\ in\ horror\ as\ the\ Teri\ Shiavo\ in\ Florida\ was\ starved\ to\ death.\ That\ \nnever\ should\ have\ happened,\ in\ the\ light\ that\ there\ is\ information\ that\ her\ \nhusband\ might\ have\ beat\ her\ the\ night\ she\ collapsed,\ and\ the\ uncertainty\ of\ \nher\ wishes.\ Even\ our\ most\ prized\ and\ well\ written\ scientists\ believe\ in\ God.\ \nEinstein\ believed\ in\ God,\ he\ was\ quoted\ as\ saying\ \"I\ want\ to\ know\ God's\ \nthoughts,\ the\ rest\ are\ just\ details\".\n%\nGrowing\ up\ in\ the\ Deep\ South\ you\ are\ exposed\ hunting\ and\ trapping\ at\ an\ \nearly\ age.\ I\ will\ never\ forget\ the\ time\ my\ father\ got\ so\ drunk\ on\ Robitussin\ \nthat\ after\ beating\ me\ repeatedly\ with\ a\ rake\ he\ went\ outside\ to\ place\ traps\ \nto\ ensnare\ wild\ animals\ that\ we\ could\ use\ for\ food.\ After\ a\ few\ ours\ of\ \nstalking\ about\ he\ came\ inside\ and\ found\ me\ lying\ on\ the\ floor\ half\ conscious\ \nhe\ chastised\ me\ for\ being\ a\ little\ wuss\ and\ kicked\ me\ in\ the\ kidneys\ \nclaiming\ while\ shouting\ something\ about\ Jesus\ before\ passing\ out\ on\ the\ \nkitchen\ floor.\ The\ next\ morning\ the\ department\ of\ fish\ and\ game\ came\ \nknocking\ at\ our\ door\ asking\ if\ we\ knew\ anything\ about\ the\ bear\ traps\ that\ \nwere\ placed\ all\ over\ the\ apartment\ complex.\ Apparently\ he\ had\ ensnared\ \nseveral\ negroes,\ and,\ while\ it\ was\ negro\ season,\ he\ was\ over\ his\ bag\ limit\ \nand\ had\ to\ cut\ some\ of\ them\ loose.\ Man,\ those\ were\ the\ days,\ sipping\ \nlemonade\ on\ the\ porch\ while\ dad\ skinned\ niggers\ in\ the\ back\ yard.\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ a\ game\ of\ texas\ holdem\ cuz\ i\ just\ wanna\ go\ all\ in\n%\nYou\ can't\ talk\ that\ way\ about\ EverQuest\ you\ fag!\ OMG\ Just\ you\ wait\ till\ I\ \npry\ my\ ass\ out\ of\ this\ chair\ and\ lose\ 400\ lbs\ to\ climb\ out\ of\ my\ parents\ \nbasement,\ asshole!\ You're\ are\ SO\ getting\ prank\ called!\n%\nI\ watched\ this\ whole\ program\ on\ National\ Geographic\ entitled\ 'The\ Dark\ Side\ \nof\ Dolphins'\ and\ let\ me\ tell\ you,\ \ dolphins\ are\ total\ assholes.\ So\ here's\ \nthe\ deal,\ male\ dolphins\ travel\ in\ packs\ of\ two.\ These\ males\ want\ to\ get\ \nlaid,\ and\ so\ they\ trap\ a\ female\ between\ them\ and\ keep\ her\ captive\ for\ up\ to\ \na\ month,\ having\ sex\ with\ her\ as\ they\ please.\ If\ she\ tries\ to\ get\ away,\ they\ \nwill\ beat\ her\ with\ their\ snouts\ and\ fins.\ When\ you\ see\ large\ groups\ of\ them\ \nit's\ just\ a\ bunch\ of\ these\ two\ packs\ of\ males\ joining\ together\ to\ keep\ \ncaptive\ a\ few\ females\ so\ that\ they\ can\ gang\ rape\ her.\ The\ females\ hate\ it\ \nand\ try\ to\ get\ away\ but\ then\ get\ beaten\ up.\ If\ and\ when\ the\ female\ gives\ \nbirth\ she\ won't\ want\ to\ have\ sex\ while\ protecting\ her\ young,\ and\ so\ males\ \nwill\ gang\ up\ and\ try\ in\ some\ instatnces\ to\ kill\ the\ baby\ inorder\ to\ have\ sex\ \nwith\ the\ mother.\ Bottom\ line,\ dolphins\ are\ assholes.\ According\ to\ marine\ \nbiolgoists\ dolphins\ could\ have\ normal\ courtship\ and\ sex,\ but\ the\ males\ \nchoose\ not\ to\ they\ prefer\ gang\ rape.\ Dolphins\ are\ assholes.\n%\nwhat\ did\ you\ have\ for\ breakfasT?\ your\ mom?\ what\ did\ you\ have\ for\ lunch\ your\ \ndad?\ ..\ what\ did\ you\ eat\ between\ that\ a\ fucking\ pig\ fuck\ man\ eww\ ur\ so\ nasty\ \nwhatcha\ gunna\ eat\ for\ supper\ your\ fucking\ neighbors\ family\ and\ all\ your\ \nfucking\ pets\n%\nI\ AM\ GOING\ TO\ SHIT\ IN\ YOUR\ OWN\ ASS\ SO\ FAR\ IT\ COMES\ OUT\ OF\ YOUR\ MOUTH\ WHICH\ I\ \nWILL\ THEN\ SWALLOW\ AND\ THEN\ SHIT\ INTO\ YOUR\ MOUTH\ SO\ YOU\ WILL\ BE\ EATING\ MY\ \nSHAT\ SHIT\ WHILE\ SHITTING.\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ my\ shitty\ internet\ service\ provider\ because\ you're\ going\ to\ \nkick\ me\ off\ of\ you\ after\ approximately\ 5\ hours\n%\nI\ am\ a\ nose-picker.\ I\ cannot\ stand\ having\ crunchy\ snot\ clinging\ to\ the\ \ninsides\ of\ my\ nostrils,\ or\ feeling\ something\ dangling\ there\ in\ the\ back.\ So\ \nI\ dig\ it\ out.\ I'm\ also\ like\ this\ about\ cleaning\ my\ ears\;\ I\ cannot\ stand\ \nfeeling\ that\ there's\ something\ in\ there.\ Yuck.\ A\ bonus\ to\ all\ this\ is\ that\ I\ \nget\ a\ slight\ rush\ of\ euphoria\ when\ I\ dig\ out\ a\ really\ big\ booger,\ or\ find\ a\ \nlot\ of\ wax\ in\ my\ ear.\ It's\ similar\ to\ the\ rush\ of\ having\ squeezed\ out\ a\ \nprize-winning\ poop.\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ OSX\ because\ you're\ beautiful\ and\ alluring\ but\ mostly\ \nworthless\n%\nany\ 1\ got\ the\ move\ tripple\ x\ with\ vin\ deasal,\ not\ pr0n\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ a\ free\ porn\ website,\ because\ after\ one\ 10\ minute\ visit\ i'll\ \nnever\ see\ you\ again\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ internet\ explorer\ because\ you\ give\ me\ popups\ all\ the\ time\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ a\ hydroponic\ grow\ system\ because\ i\ cant\ wait\ to\ introduce\ \nmy\ seeds\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ a\ micro\$oft\ product\ because\ when\ i\ find\ your\ holes\ i'm\ \ngoing\ to\ exploit\ them\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ java\ bytecode\ because\ you\ let\ me\ use\ you\ anywhere\ I\ want\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ a\ .bin\ with\ no\ .cue\ file\ because\ I\ have\ to\ wrangle\ with\ you\ \nfor\ hours\ only\ be\ burned\ in\ the\ end\n%\ngirl\ u\ must\ be\ an\ NES\ cartridge\ because\ i\ will\ blow\ on\ your\ slot\ until\ you\ \nstart\ functioning\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ ieee-1284\ because\ i\ can\ tell\ that\ your\ port\ is\ bidirectional\n%\ngirl\ u\ must\ be\ aol\ instant\ messenger\ because\ i'd\ like\ to\ see\ all\ of\ my\ \nbuddies\ on\ you\n%\nthats\ why\ i\ prefer\ anime\ hentai\ then\ real\ porn....\ majority\ of\ porn\ is\ \nusally\ ugly\ both\ the\ body\ and\ faces\ its\ rare\ which\ you\ dont\ get\ the\ ugly\ \n(usally\ comes\ with\ alot\ of\ air\ brushing)...\ and\ its\ usally\ the\ non\ nude\ \nmodels\ which\ offer\ something\ close\ to\ hentai\ in\ cuteness/hot\ and\ non-old\ \nporn\ models.\n%\nfuck\ shit\ bitch\ ass\ tits.\ Lets\ suck\ some\ cock\ get\ knocked\ up\ and\ pass\ out\ in\ \na\ ditch.\ 9911\ emergency\ room\ party.\ smoke\ dat\ hanger\ into\ yo\ womb.\ <3\ my\ mom\ \nhad\ so\ many\ abortions\ im\ surprised\ im\ not\ in\ a\ jar\ of\ formaldehyde\ <3\ you\ \ndumb\ fucking\ p\ r\ e\ g\ g\ e\ r\ s\n%\nBREAKING\ NEWS:\ THE\ RING-LEADER\ OF\ THE\ INFAMOUS\ INTERNATIONAL\ PEDOPHILE\ RING\ \n\"THE\ CATHOLIC\ CHURCH\"\ HAS\ DIED,\ HE\ WAS\ 84.\n%\nI\ leaned\ down\ and\ smelled\ the\ seat\ where\ the\ super\ hot\ girls\ amazing\ ass\ sat\ \nfor\ at\ least\ 5\ minutes\ straight...\ It\ smelled\ like\ pure\ girl\ farts...\ a\ \nstrong\ fart\ essence\ was\ present\ in\ the\ felt\ padded\ seat\ cushion,\ I\ started\ \nbuggin\ out.\ I\ kept\ smelling\ the\ cushion\ for\ as\ long\ as\ the\ smell's\ odor\ \nretained\ it's\ embodiment.\ I\ was\ in\ heaven\ with\ the\ sexy\ fumes\ that\ only\ \nlasted\ a\ couple\ of\ minutes.\ I\ buried\ my\ face\ into\ the\ seat\ cushion\ smelling\ \nthis\ HOT\ girls\ candy\ farts.\ I\ was\ so\ happy\ that\ day.\n%\nFor\ like\ several\ years\ I\ have\ been\ afflicted\ with\ a\ really\ smelly\ crotch.\ \nIt's\ like\ I\ sweat\ a\ lot\ down\ there\ and\ it\ just\ has\ a\ really\ sweaty\ vaginal\ \nodor.\ I\ bathe\ regularly\ but\ nothing\ really\ helps\;\ by\ the\ end\ of\ the\ day\ I\ \nalways\ smell\ funky.\ This\ wouldn't\ gross\ me\ out\ if\ it\ was\ just\ an\ occasional\ \nproblem,\ but\ it\ happens\ every\ day.\ What\ can\ I\ do?\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ a\ sata2\ hard\ drive\ because\ you\ are\ modestly\ increasing\ my\ \npipe\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ a\ 0day\ topsite\ because\ I\ just\ wanna\ max\ out\ your\ slots\n%\nYou\ should\ connect\ your\ graphics\ card\ directly\ to\ the\ mains.\ You\ can\ buy\ \nmolex\ connectors\ from\ any\ good\ electronics\ store\ and\ then\ splice\ it\ into\ the\ \nlead\ from\ a\ hair\ dryer\ or\ toaster.\ This\ should\ deliver\ the\ correct\ voltage\ \ndirect\ to\ your\ graphics\ card\ (the\ molex\ also\ functions\ as\ a\ voltage\ \nregulator\ and\ AC\ rectifier).\ It's\ the\ equivalent\ of\ having\ an\ Antex\ 3kW\ \npower\ supply.\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ haggis\ cause\ you\ make\ me\ want\ to\ stuff\ you\ with\ old\ meat\n%\nLadies\ and\ gentlemen,\ against\ my\ better\ judgement,\ I\ allowed\ my\ teenage\ son\ \nto\ install\ line-ucks\ on\ our\ compaq\ presario.\ Now\ I\ can't\ make\ heads\ or\ tales\ \nof\ what's\ happening\ on\ my\ computer\ machine,\ and\ he\ is\ continously\ making\ \ndisrespectful\ remarks\ about\ Bill\ Gates\ and\ 'Micro\$uck\".\ I\ guess\ my\ only\ real\ \nquestion\ is:\ How\ long\ should\ I\ ground\ him,\ removing\ all\ access\ to\ his\ \nfriends\ and\ activities\ in\ order\ to\ cull\ this\ anti-social\ behavior?\n%\nONE\ TIME\ I\ GRABBED\ A\ FAT\ GOTHIC\ BITCH\ BY\ THE\ EARS\ AND\ SLAMMED\ HER\ GODDAMNED\ \nHEAD\ AGAINST\ THE\ TABLE\ AND\ YELLED,\ \"WHY\ ARE\ YOU\ SO\ GODDAMNED\ FAT\ AND\ UGLY?!!\ \nWHY!!!\ WHY!!!\ WHY!!!\"\ AND\ WHEN\ SHE\ STARTED\ TO\ CRY\ AND\ MADE\ HER\ WHITE\ CLOWN\ \nFACE\ PAINT\ RUN\ AND\ ALL\ THAT\ THICK\ BLACK\ EYE\ LINER\ I\ SAID,\ \"IF\ YOU\ ARE\ SO\ \nFUCKING\ FAT\ WHY\ THE\ HELL\ DO\ YOU\ WEAR\ ALL\ THAT\ GODDAMNED\ SLUTY\ CLOTHES\ YOU\ \nFAT\ FUCKING\ BITCH?!!!\"\n%\nyo\ think\ if\ i\ got\ a\ real\ doll\ and\ had\ a\ voodoo\ priest\ do\ shit\ to\ it,\ and\ \nattached\ lindsay\ lohan's\ soul\ to\ it,\ that\ if\ fucked\ it\ she'd\ feel\ it\ and\ \nshit?\n%\nMy\ Nazi\ fetish\ makes\ my\ boyfriend\ uncomfortable.I\ NEED\ ADVICE.\ You\ appear\ to\ \nbe\ experienced\ in\ these\ matters,\ so\ I'll\ give\ this\ a\ try.My\ boyfriend\ told\ \nme\ that\ he\ finds\ my\ Irma\ Grese/\ Ilse\ Koch-style\ Third\ Reich\ dominatrix\ \ncostumes\ to\ be\ disturbing\;\ he\ seems\ reluctant\ to\ participate\ in\ Lebensborn\ \nroleplaying\ and\ even\ Auschwitz\ guard/\ male\ prisoner\ roleplaying.\ He\ also\ \nsuggested\ gently\ that\ I\ take\ down\ the\ Hitler\ Youth\ propaganda\ posters\ that\ \nare\ currently\ hanging\ over\ my\ bed.Is\ Nazism\ a\ 'turnoff'?\ If\ so,\ why?\n%\nIt\ is\ well\ known\ that\ apes\ are\ close\ relatives\ to\ human\ beings.\ What\ isn�t\ \nso\ well\ known\ is\ just\ how\ close\ relatives\ the\ two\ species\ are.\ Apes\ and\ \nhumans\ share\ much\ of\ the\ same\ DNA.\ For\ instance,\ the\ North\ African\ \nShort-Haired\ Baboon\ shares\ over\ 99%\ of\ its\ DNA\ with\ mankind.\ This\ particular\ \nspecies\ is\ highly\ adaptable\ and\ like\ chimpanzees,\ they\ are\ able\ to\ make\ \ncrude\ tools\ and\ even\ utilize\ rudimentary\ communication\ skills.\ The\ \nadaptability\ of\ the\ North\ African\ Short\ hair\ is\ evidenced\ by\ their\ lives\ in\ \ncaptivity,\ while\ most\ species\ dwindle\ on\ extinction\ and\ have\ trouble\ \nbreeding\;\ the\ Short-Hairs\ thrive,\ often\ neglecting\ their\ offspring,\ food\ \ngathering,\ and\ even\ grooming\ themselves\ in\ order\ to\ mate\ with\ females.\ First\ \nintroduced\ into\ captivity\ sometime\ in\ the\ 1700�s,\ the\ North\ African\ \nShort-Haired\ baboon\ was\ utilized\ as\ laborers\ in\ small\ farming\ communities.\ \nToday,\ they\ enjoy\ life\ in\ urban\ centers,\ often\ living\ 10\ to\ a\ den.\ Sadly,\ \ncaptivity\ and\ inbreeding\ has\ caused\ their\ learning\ ability\ to\ be\ suppressed\ \nand\ their\ baser\ instincts\ to\ be\ more\ pronounced.\ Often,\ they\ will\ rely\ on\ \nthe\ gatherings\ of\ other\ species\ to\ survive.\ Utilizing\ their\ natural\ \nnocturnal\ abilities,\ they\ stalk,\ undetected,\ through\ the\ habitats\ of\ these\ \nother\ species,\ procuring\ what\ it\ necessary\ to\ survive\ from\ them,\ often\ in\ \nthe\ form\ of\ Televisions\ and\ Hi-top\ sneakers.\n%\nMaking\ headlines\ across\ America\ is\ the\ Terri\ Shiavo\ case.\ This\ poor\ woman\ is\ \nin\ a\ persistent\ vegetative\ state\ and\ the\ husband\ selfishly\ wishes\ for\ her\ \nfeeding\ tube\ to\ be\ left\ removed.\ This\ is\ appalling,\ not\ to\ just\ me,\ but\ to\ \nthe\ many\ Americans\ that\ feel\ she\ should\ be\ allowed\ to\ live.\ \nwww.terrisfight.org\ is\ a\ prime\ example.\ The\ husband\ seems\ to\ be\ missing\ the\ \nlarger\ picture\ here,\ she\ is\ still\ biologically\ functional,\ meaning\ that\ her\ \nvaginal\ orifice\ is\ capable\ of\ self-lubrication\ even\ if\ she\ is\ unresponsive.\ \nThis\ make\ her\ the\ perfect\ mate.\ True,\ she\ cannot\ perform\ fellatio,\ she\ is\ \nmore\ than\ capable\ of\ being\ a\ semen\ receptacle\ for\ the\ husband\ that\ has\ loved\ \nher\ for\ years.\ Please\ stop\ this\ madness\ and\ contribute\ to\ her\ cause!\n%\nToday,\ they\ enjoy\ life\ in\ urban\ centers,\ often\ living\ 10\ to\ a\ den.\ Sadly,\ \ncaptivity\ and\ inbreeding\ has\ caused\ their\ learning\ ability\ to\ be\ suppressed\ \nand\ their\ baser\ instincts\ to\ be\ more\ pronounced.\ Often,\ they\ will\ rely\ on\ \nthe\ gatherings\ of\ other\ species\ to\ survive.\ Utilizing\ their\ natural\ \nnocturnal\ abilities,\ they\ stalk,\ undetected,\ through\ the\ habitats\ of\ these\ \nother\ species,\ procuring\ what\ it\ necessary\ to\ survive\ from\ them,\ often\ in\ \nthe\ form\ of\ Televisions\ and\ Hi-top\ sneakers.\n%\nMy\ partner\ and\ I\ were\ having\ intercourse\ when\ his\ penis\ came\ out\ and\ we\ \nheard\ a\ weird\ sort\ of\ pop\ noise\ and\ then\ he\ experienced\ a\ lot\ of\ pain\ and\ \nwhen\ he\ looked\ at\ his\ penis\ he\ noticed\ there\ was\ some\ blood\ coming\ out\ of\ \nthe\ tip.\ After\ about\ 5\ minutes\ there\ wasn't\ pain\ anymore,\ but\ because\ of\ hte\ \nblood\ I\ am\ afriad\ it's\ broken.\ Thoughts?\n%\nhey\ everyone\ remember\ that\ one\ time\ when\ klerck\ shot\ himself\ directly\ in\ the\ \nface\ with\ a\ shotgun\ and\ killed\ himself\ and\ we\ all\ were\ like\ \"whoa\"\ and\ he\ \nwas\ like\ \"drip\ drip\"...\ that\ shit\ was\ awesome\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ an\ internet\ forum\ because\ i\ am\ about\ to\ try\ and\ impress\ you\ \nusing\ my\ stale\ in\ jokes\ from\ 1998\n%\nI\ need\ a\ patient\ guy\ who\ will\ realize\ that\ I\ am\ just\ flustered\ when\ I\ belt\ \nout\ something\ stupid\ when\ I\ am\ nervous\ like\ \"your\ such\ a\ cute\ little\ guy\"\ on\ \na\ first\ date.\ never\ heard\ from\ him\ again,\ hha.\ whatever.\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ a\ taxidermy\ lab\ because\ you\ make\ me\ want\ to\ stuff\ a\ cock\ in\ \nyou\n%\nIntel\ isn't\ bad,\ but\ AMD's\ is\ just\ misleading.\ If\ I'm\ building\ a\ 64-bit\ AMD\ \nsystem\ and\ I\ look\ and\ say\ \"Hey,\ it's\ an\ AMD\ 64\ 4000+!\ That\ must\ mean\ it's\ \n4000MHz\ which\ is\ 4GHz\"\ Oh\ no!\ It's\ only\ 2.4GHz.\ At\ least\ Intel\ has\ the\ sense\ \nto\ put\ the\ processor\ speed\ right\ in\ the\ name\ of\ the\ chip.\ I\ know\ someone\ is\ \ngoing\ to\ chime\ in\ and\ bring\ up\ some\ obscure\ reason\ why\ the\ 2.4GHz\ is\ called\ \nthe\ \"4000+\"\ and\ declare\ it's\ there\ for\ more\ than\ a\ marketing\ ploy,\ but\ Joe\ \nConsumer\ isn't\ going\ to\ think\ that.\ An\ AMD-64\ 4000+\"\ sounds\ wayyyy\ cooler\ \nthan\ an\ \"Intel-64\ 2.8GHz\",\ right?Now,\ proceed\ to\ mod\ me\ down\ because\ I\ speak\ \nill\ of\ the\ underdog,\ right?\ Go\ on,\ I\ know\ you\ want\ to\ inject\ your\ bias\ into\ \nmoderation,\ it's\ okay.\n%\nI,\ personally,\ have\ a\ special\ connection\ to\ the\ video\ \"Basic\ Training:\ San\ \nFrancisco\ Style.\"\ It\ was\ my\ bridge\ from\ Fisting\ to\ Scat.\ There\ is\ a\ scene\ in\ \nit\ where\ a\ pretty\ young\ blonde\ boy\ (who\ I\ later\ learned\ was\ Dave,\ himself)\ \ngets\ fisted\ with\ a\ very\ full\ ass.\ Needless\ to\ say\ it\ gets\ wonderfully\ messy.\ \nI\ was\ so\ disgusted\ I\ couldn't\ stop\ watching\ it.\ I\ must\ have\ nearly\ worn\ out\ \nthat\ spot\ on\ the\ tape.\n%\nBasically\ my\ question\ to\ you\ is\ based\ on\ everything\ you've\ seen\ concerning\ \nthe\ character\ of\ Bardock\ and\ Goku,\ what\ would\ happen\ if\ Goku\ had\ an\ actual\ \nmeeting\ with\ his\ father?\ What\ words\ would\ they\ exchange?\ What\ would\ cause\ \nsuch\ a\ meeting,\ etc?\ It\ can\ be\ any\ continuity\ you\ choose.\ Now\ that\ you\ know\ \nwhat\ to\ write\ about,\ be\ creative\ and\ come\ up\ with\ what\ in\ your\ view\ would\ \nhappen\ if\ father\ and\ son\ were\ to\ meet.\n%\ngirl,\ you\ must\ be\ an\ einstein-rosen\ bridge\ because\ i'd\ like\ to\ come\ inside\ \nof\ you\ and\ then\ be\ somewhere\ else\n%\nI'm\ all\ about\ girls\ who\ have\ dicks\ coming\ out\ of\ their\ nipples\ with\ dicks\ \nalso\ coming\ out\ of\ those\ dicks\ and\ shit\ coming\ out\ of\ those\ dicks\n%\nYOU\ SPICAROONIS\ HAVE\ A\ WHOLE\ DAMN\ COUNTRY\ SO\ WHAT\ THE\ FUCK\ DO\ YOU\ WANT\ WITH\ \nOURS?\ ONCE\ YOU\ FILTHY\ FUCKS\ FINISH\ YOUR\ SILENT\ INVASION\ DO\ YOU\ THINK\ THIS\ \nWILL\ STILL\ BE\ THE\ AMERICA\ IT\ ONCE\ WAS?\ FUCK\ NO.\ YOU\ FILTHY\ BEANERS\ WILL\ TURN\ \nIT\ INTO\ ONE\ BIG\ FUCKING\ BARRIO\ LIKE\ YOU\ HAVE\ DONE\ TO\ THAT\ PIECE\ OF\ SHIT\ \nMEXICO\ BECAUSE\ YOU\ BEAN\ EATERS\ ARE\ TOO\ FUCKING\ STUPID\ TO\ RUN\ A\ FUCKING\ \nCOUNTRY.YOU\ BEANERS\ TOOK\ OVER\ CALIFORNIA\ AND\ TEXAS.\ AND\ WE\ FUCKING\ GAVE\ YOU\ \nNEW\ MEXICO.\ SO\ KEEP\ YOUR\ FILTHY\ ASSES\ THERE\ AND\ JUST\ HAVE\ THAT\ SHIT\ AND\ STAY\ \nTHE\ FUCK\ OUT\ OF\ THE\ REST\ OF\ THE\ COUNTRY.\ YOU\ HAVE\ YOUR\ WHOLE\ SO\ CALLED\ \nCOUNTRY\ DOWN\ THERE\ AND\ THREE\ BIG\ FUCKING\ STATES.\ BUT\ YOU\ FUCKERS\ REPRODUCE\ \nFASTER\ THAN\ RABBITS\ AND\ HAVE\ MORE\ DAMN\ RELATIVES\ THAN\ A\ COCKROACH.\ AND\ ARE\ \nTWICE\ AS\ FILTHY.\ SO\ I\ GUESS\ YOU\ NEED\ MORE\ ROOM.\ SHIT\ YOU\ PACK\ 50\ OF\ YOU\ \nBEANERS\ INTO\ A\ 2\ BEDROOM\ APARTMENT\ SO\ YOU\ SHOULD\ BE\ ABLE\ TO\ MAKE\ DO\ WITH\ \nTHOSE\ FUCKING\ STATES.DAMN\ I\ HATE\ TACO\ MUNCHERS.\n%\nWhen\ you\ see\ porn\ and\ your\ dick\ gets\ hard,\ try\ to\ touch\ your\ dick\ head\ with\ \nyour\ lips.\ I\ have\ licked\ many\ times\ my\ cockhead\ in\ this\ way.\n%\nHey\ guys,\ if\ a\ Jedi\ perchance\ met\ the\ Wolverine\ in\ armed\ combat,\ who\ do\ you\ \nthink\ would\ win?\ Could\ Wolverine's\ mind\ resist\ the\ Force?\ Could\ the\ Jedi's\ \nlightsaber\ cut\ through\ Adamantium?\ Discuss.\n%\ni\ think\ i\ may\ have\ roids\ but\ i\ don't\ know\ what\ they\ look\ like\ and\ i\ don't\ \nhave\ anything\ protruding\ out\ of\ my\ ass.\ everytime\ i\ go\ poop\ there\ is\ a\ \nlittle\ blood\ on\ the\ toilet\ paper\ when\ i\ wipe.\ its\ not\ super\ painful\ and\ \npretty\ much\ feels\ like\ minor\ irritation.\ my\ buttcrack\ has\ been\ really\ dry\ \nand\ flaky\ too\ almost\ like\ my\ crack\ wants\ to\ get\ deeper.\ wtf?\ i've\ been\ using\ \npreperation\ h\ suppositories\ and\ the\ medicated\ pads\ for\ weeks\ now\ but\ nothing\ \nhas\ helped.\ i\ don't\ have\ money\ or\ insurance\ to\ see\ a\ doctor\ so\ if\ anyone\ has\ \nhad\ symptoms\ like\ this\ plz\ tell\ me\ what\ the\ hell\ is\ wrong\ with\ me\ and\ what\ i\ \ncan\ do\ to\ fix\ this.\ thx.\n%\nA\ romantic\ dinner\ with\ a\ large\ table\ cloth\ so\ you\ can\ go\ under\ the\ table\ in\ \nthe\ retaurant\ and\ blow\ me\ without\ the\ other\ customers\ seeing\ what\ you\ are\ \ndoing.\ Not\ that\ i\ am\ ashamed\ but\ I\ am\ just\ thinking\ of\ your\ dignity\ and\ all.\n%\nI'd\ like\ to\ get\ her\ on\ a\ bed,\ rip\ off\ her\ pants\ and\ her\ grannie\ underwear\ \nthat\ I\ just\ know\ she\ wears\ and\ then\ I'd\ like\ to\ flip\ her\ over\ and\ spread\ \nthose\ fat\ smelly\ cheeks\ apart,\ shove\ peanut\ butter\ in\ her\ bunghole,\ stick\ my\ \ntongue\ in\ there\ and\ move\ it\ around\ like\ I\ am\ having\ an\ epileptic\ fit\ eating\ \nthe\ creamy\ treat\ from\ her\ ass.\ I'd\ also\ like\ to\ choke\ her\ by\ shoving\ my\ \nschlong\ down\ her\ throat\ to\ the\ point\ where\ she\ is\ gonna\ pass\ out\ and\ then\ \npull\ out\ my\ cock\ and\ jerk\ off\ on\ her\ face\ while\ she\ is\ still\ delerious\ and\ \nthen\ squirt\ all\ over\ her\ cute\ face.\n%\nNot\ following\ the\ chat\ room\ rules\ will\ at\ the\ least\ get\ you\ a\ reprimand\ or,\ \nat\ the\ worst,\ kicked\ or\ removed\ from\ the\ chat\ room.\ The\ Operators\ are\ here\ \nto\ assist\ and\ make\ sure\ the\ chat\ room\ is\ a\ fun\ and\ friendly\ place\ to\ visit.\ \nChannel\ Operators\ are\ not\ guards,\ but\ they\ take\ their\ jobs\ seriously.\ In\ the\ \nevent\ of\ unacceptable\ or\ disruptive\ behavior,\ you\ will\ be\ asked\ to\ leave\ the\ \nroom.\n%\nit's\ time\ for\ lunch.\ you'd\ like\ to\ chow.\ Fraid\ I've\ got\ some\ bad\ news\ right\ \nnow.\ \ The\ fridge\ a\ box\ of\ empty\ space,\ no\ sign\ of\ eats,\ not\ e'en\ a\ trace,\ oh\ \nhow\ you'd\ like\ a\ tiny\ taste,\ your\ stomach\ hurts,\ you\ find\ some\ Certs,\ \nthey're\ gobbled,\ gone,\ but\ breath\ is\ fresh,\ you're\ nearing\ death,\ you're\ \nflailing\ on\ the\ kitchen\ floor,\ no\ more!\ just\ make\ the\ hunger\ leave,\ your\ \nstomach\ grieves\ a\ SNACK\ you\ NEED\ you've\ GOT\ TO\ FEED\ YOUR\ CHEETOS\ ARE\ ALL\ \nGONE\ OH\ GOD\ YOU'RE\ SORTING\ THROUGH\ THE\ TRASH:\ A\ WAD!\ USED\ PAPER\ NAPKINS\ \nQUICK,\ YOU\ LICK!\ DELISH\ but\ what\ a\ TEASE\ just\ PLEASE\ I\ need\ some\ CHIPS\ you\ \nweakly\ WHEEZE\ try\ empty\ KETCHUPs\ upside\ DOWN\ you\ LICK\ THE\ CRUMBS\ right\ off\ \nthe\ GROUND\ it's\ LUNCH\ LUNCH\ LUNCH\ and\ YOU\ MUST\ CHOW\ the\ trickling\ sweat\ \ndrops\ off\ your\ BROW\ from\ FRIDGE\ to\ SINK\ you\ madly\ DASH\ where\ did\ you\ hide\ \nthat\ CHEETO\ STASH\ O!\ during\ LAST\ WEEK's\ ENterPRISE\ you\ ATE\ THOSE\ CHEETOS\ not\ \nso\ WISE\ so\ AS\ A\ DESPERATE\ LAST\ RESORT\ you\ GNAW\ your\ left\ hand's\ ugly\ WART\ \nthe\ TASTY\ FLAKES\ of\ DEAD\ DRY\ SKIN\ have\ turned\ this\ LOSS\ into\ a\ WIN\ but\ \nSTOMACH\ LETS\ his\ anGER\ KNOWN\ it\ GRUMBLES\ IN\ AN\ ANGRY\ TONE\ a\ FAT\ GEEK\ HUNGRY\ \nALL\ ALONE--HELP\ HELP\ THE\ FOOD\ !\ THERE\ IS\ NONE\ HERE!\ EMPTY\ BOTTLES\ OF\ \nCHEAP-ASS\ BEER\ YOU\ WRITHE\ ALONG\ THE\ GROUND\ AND\ FLOP!\ RELEASE\ THOSE\ BOWELS\ \nWITH\ A\ *PLOP*\ oh\ GROSS\ YOU\ SMOOSH\ the\ TURDS\ so\ WARM\ and\ with\ a\ FBLURT\ out\ \ntrickles\ MORE\ but\ crazed\ you\ are.\ in\ NEED\ OF\ EAT\ you\ reach\ and\ get\ some\ \nBROWN\ POO-MEAT.\ YOUR\ SHIT\ ALL\ OVER\ HANDS\ AND\ FACE\ YOUR\ TONGUE\ AFLAME\ WITH\ \nPOOPY\ TASTE\ the\ DOOR\ swings\ WIDE:\ NERD\ FRIENDS,\ a\ BUNCH\ \ \"Hey,\ Asimov!\ WE\ \nBROUGHT\ YOU\ LUNCH\ :O\"\n%\nyour\ mom\ is\ so\ fat\ that\ if\ planck's\ constant\ were\ 1\ Js,\ she\ STILL\ wouldn't\ \nbe\ able\ to\ quantum\ tunnel\ through\ a\ potential\ of\ any\ significance\n%\ni\ had\ a\ great\ time\ last\ night.\ thanks\ for\ tying\ me\ up\ with\ carpenters\ rope\ \naround\ my\ mantits\ and\ through\ the\ crack\ of\ my\ asshole\ and\ then\ facefucking\ \nme\ while\ pouring\ candle\ wax\ all\ over\ my\ areolas,\ your\ spiked-toe\ boots\ \ndigging\ into\ my\ side\ while\ i\ am\ on\ all\ fours,\ back\ arched\ like\ a\ frightened\ \ncat,\ begging\ for\ mercy\ as\ the\ thick\ bands\ of\ the\ rope\ run\ back\ and\ forth\ \nteasing\ my\ grundel\ and\ burning\ my\ semen-encrusted\ pubic\ hairs,\ the\ smell\ so\ \nengulfing\ i\ vomited\ all\ over\ your\ bed\ and\ then\ you\ vomited\ all\ over\ me\ and\ \nthen\ i\ shit\ myself\ and\ the\ rope\ made\ it\ split\ into\ two\ streams\ all\ over\ your\ \nknees,\ running\ down\ to\ your\ ankles\ and\ toenails.\ i'd\ love\ to\ do\ it\ thursday\ \nnight\ again!\n%\nYou\ give\ liberals\ a\ bad\ name.\ You\ give\ women\ a\ bad\ name.\ You\ give\ fucking\ \neveryone\ who\ has\ the\ title\ \"HUMAN\ BEING\"\ a\ bad\ name.Go\ outside\ once\ in\ a\ \nwhile\ and\ stop\ stuffing\ your\ bloated\ mouth\ with\ stale\ cheetos\ and\ flat\ \nmountain\ dew.\ You\ might\ feel\ sexy\ in\ that\ thong\ but\ that\ thick\ and\ musty\ \nsmell\ wafting\ up\ your\ crotch\ proves\ that\ the\ best\ thing\ you\ could\ do\ for\ \nyour\ sex\ appeal\ is\ to\ do\ your\ laundry,\ and\ maybe\ take\ a\ damn\ bath.Tap,\ tap,\ \ntap,\ your\ keyboard\ receives\ your\ idle,\ insipid\ wanderings.\ People\ care!\ you\ \ntell\ yourself.\ Just\ look\ at\ your\ comments.\ There...are\ a\ few\ of\ them.\ \nProving\ that\ someone\ reads\ your\ drivel\ even\ when\ you\ post\ 5\ pathetic\ little\ \nvignettes\ about\ a\ tediously\ pedestrian\ life\ in\ a\ single\ day.teh_enchantress.\ \nA\ pleasingly\ clever\ mixture\ of\ an\ internet\ in-joke\ and\ fantasy\ archetype?\ Or\ \na\ slavish\ parroting\ of\ the\ same\ tired\ memes\ that\ lonely\ boys\ and\ girls\ use\ \nto\ try\ to\ find\ a\ place\ on\ an\ internet\ that\ refuses\ no\ one,\ least\ of\ all\ \npedophiles\ and\ hate\ groups?I\ know,\ I\ know.\ It's\ something\ to\ do\ when\ you\ get\ \nto\ your\ room.\ YOu\ know,\ after\ a\ long\ trip\ to\ the\ bathroom,\ or\ having\ lunch\ \nwith\ your\ mom,\ or\ going\ out\ with\ your\ other\ fat\ friends.\ You\ can\ come\ back\ \nto\ your\ computer\ and\ rant\ about\ how\ outrageous\ your\ recent\ bland\ adventures\ \nwere.Well,\ do\ yourself\ and\ the\ world\ a\ favor.\ Shut\ the\ fuck\ up\ forever,\ you\ \nwanna-be\ slut.\ Your\ opinions\ aren't\ worth\ listening\ to,\ your\ life\ isn't\ \ninteresting,\ you\ aren't\ attractive.\ Live\ some\ of\ life\ and\ meet\ some\ human\ \nbeings.\ You're\ a\ social\ bulemic\ and\ you've\ been\ binging\ on\ the\ paper\ thin\ \npersonas\ of\ your\ internet\ friends,\ most\ of\ whom\ are\ probably\ overweight\ \nengineers\ working\ at\ IBM\ in\ sexually\ frustrating\ marraiges.You\ think\ you'll\ \nlook\ back\ on\ this\ time\ of\ your\ life\ and\ laugh?\ I\ dare\ say\ you'll\ look\ back\ \nand\ your\ lips\ will\ become\ a\ thin\ bloodless\ line\ as\ you\ realize\ what\ a\ \nfucking\ waste\ it\ was.\ The\ relationships\ you\ could\ have\ had.\ The\ friends\ you\ \nthought\ you\ made.And\ please\ avoid\ any\ real\ issues.\ Your\ understanding\ of\ any\ \npolitical\ or\ social\ problems\ in\ the\ world\ is\ about\ as\ thick\ as\ your\ hymen\ \nafter\ you\ popped\ your\ cherry\ with\ a\ hello\ kitty\ dildo\ you\ bought\ while\ \ntittering\ on\ instant\ messenger\ with\ your\ friends.\ Wau~~~\ so\ cute.\ You\ \nfucking\ shallow\ little\ wretch.In\ short,\ you\ are\ a\ female\ piece\ of\ refuse.\ \nThe\ cigarette\ butt\ that\ your\ parents\ smoked\ for\ the\ love\ they\ thought\ you\ \ncould\ give\ them,\ and\ then\ had\ stamped\ out\ as\ soon\ as\ they\ realized\ what\ a\ \npiece\ of\ shit\ had\ erupted\ from\ your\ mother's\ vagina,\ which\ happens\ to\ be\ \nrather\ overly-familiar\ in\ your\ neighborhood.\ Just\ shut\ the\ fuck\ up.\ Get\ out\ \nof\ that\ goddamn\ chair\ in\ which\ you've\ spent\ so\ many\ needless\ hours.I\ \nguarantee\ that\ unless\ you\ do\ something\ drastic,\ you\ should\ acknowledge\ that\ \nthis\ is\ truly\ as\ good\ as\ it\ will\ ever\ get.\ Because\ from\ this\ point\ on\ you'll\ \nbegin\ to\ realize\ the\ gossamer\ nature\ of\ any\ joy\ you\ might\ have\ thought\ you\ \nwere\ feeling--and\ that\ infintely\ deep\ well\ of\ loneliness\ will\ erupt\ so\ \nsharply\ it'll\ cut\ your\ wrists.No,\ you're\ not\ complex.\ You're\ not\ deep\ and\ \nyou're\ not\ thoughtful.\ The\ pain\ torturing\ you\ isn't\ inscrutable\ and\ your\ \nproblems\ are\ not\ unresolvable.\ You're\ just\ stupider\ than\ you\ think,\ and\ that\ \nwill\ always\ frustrate\ you.\ You\ know\ you're\ not\ attractive,\ but\ your\ tenuous\ \ngrip\ on\ self-worth\ demands\ a\ lie.\ And\ your\ decrepit\ social\ life\ has\ the\ \nprospects\ of\ a\ bumblebee\ in\ a\ Scandinavian\ September.Good\ luck\ doing\ the\ \nunlikely.\ Some\ steps\ to\ help\ you\ on\ the\ way:\ plan\ your\ diet,\ start\ working\ \nout,\ find\ a\ hobby,\ and\ read\ the\ newspaper.\ That\ is\ all.\n%\nNow\ go\ back\ to\ what\ you\ do\ best,\ which\ is\ apparently\ poking\ your\ nose\ into\ \nothers\ business\ because\ you're\ too\ bored\ with\ your\ own\ life.\ *pets\ joo*\n%\nWe're\ the\ math\ nerds.\ Uh\ huh,\ that's\ us.\ Our\ glasses\ are\ thick\;\ our\ skin\ \nbleeding\ pus.\ Chalkboards\ are\ out\ and\ computers\ are\ in...\ Mathmatica,\ dude!\ \nWTF\ have\ you\ been?\ We're\ crunching\ some\ primes\ while\ chatting\ on\ forums\;\ \nStar\ Trek\ and\ Star\ wars\;\ the\ Great\ Pauly\ Shore--Um,\ this\ math\ problem's\ \nsimple\ to\ solve,\ can't\ you\ see?\ You\ need\ to\ brush\ up\ on\ your\ pi,\ roots,\ and\ \ne.\n%\nThe\ nigger\ is\ a\ subhuman\ monkey,\ ape,\ Fat\ lips,\ kinky\ hair,\ VIOLENT,\ RAPIST,\ \nSMALL\ BRAIN\ (have\ you\ noticed\ how\ dumm\ most\ niggers\ are)and\ broad\ monstrous\ \nnoses,\ car\ jacking\ saucer-lipped,\ ignorant\ fecal\ colored,\ ghetto-living,\ \nwelfare-leeching,\ crack-smoking,\ hub-cap\ stealing.\ fried-chicken\ and\ biscuit\ \neating,\ watermelon-stealing,\ 6-yr-old-white-girl-shooting,\ serial-killing,\ \nrapist,\ robber,\ murderer,\ adulterer,\ liar,\ fat-assed,\ white-woman-wanting,\ \nloud-radio-at-2:00-a.m.-in-the-morning-playing,\ undisciplined,\ \ntree-swinging,\ flat-congo-nosed,\ greasy\ afro-sheen,\ baggy-pants,\ and\ \nside-ways\ cap-wearing,\ maya\ angelou-reading,\ Jesse\ Jackson-worshiping,\ Al\ \nSharpton,\ Louis\ Farrakhan\ and\ Malcum\ X-believing,\ disco\ doo-wop\ playing,\ \nnon-athletic,\ non-musical,\ shoplifting,\ non-political,\ trashy,\ nasty,\ \nfilthy,\ junk-around-the-house\ and\ litter-in-the-yard-keeping,\ incestuous,\ \nhoe-beating,\ unfaithful,\ dice-shooting,\ numbers-playing,\ lottery-wishing,\ \nroach-and-rat\ raising,\ lice-keeping,\ crab-farming,\ graffiti-tagging,\ \ngang-banging,\ drive-by\ shooting,\ corner-hanging,\ unemployed,\ VCR,\ \ntelevision,\ and\ radio-pawning,\ cardboard-box-under\ the-bridge-living,\ \npork-rib\ three\ times-a-day-eating,\ buck-toothed,\ knock-kneed,\ semi-bald,\ \nilliterate,\ cross-eyed,\ get-it-up-so-you-can-masturbate-to-gay-porn,\ \nviagra-taking,\ connection-frequenting,\ jungle-visiting,\ cock-kissing\ \nAfroInfectedDickSucking,\ spawn\ of\ a\ fat,\ greasy,\ nasty,\ sweaty,\ unwashed\ \nslutty\ bitch\ whore\ that\ should\ never\ be\ trusted\ or\ allowed\ to\ free\ range\ in\ \nHuman\ areas.\n%\nWould\ you\ leave\ an\ otherwise\ perfect\ relationship\ if\ you\ found\ out\ your\ \npartner\ was\ interested\ in\ children\ sexually?\n%\nThere\ was\ this\ one\ time\ when\ I\ was\ so\ constipated\ from\ lack\ of\ proper\ diet\ \nand\ opiate\ abuse\ that\ I\ strained\ so\ hard\ I\ passed\ out\ and\ hit\ my\ head\ on\ the\ \nbathtub.\ I\ guess\ my\ bowels\ released\ when\ I\ was\ unconscious\ because\ I\ was\ \nawakened\ by\ my\ dog\ licking\ a\ mixture\ of\ blood\ and\ feces\ from\ my\ swollen\ and\ \nprolapsed\ rectum.\ To\ this\ day\ the\ muscles\ are\ so\ atrophied\ that\ I\ must\ wear\ \na\ special\ harness\ to\ keep\ my\ bowels\ from\ spilling\ into\ my\ rubber\ underwear.\n%\nWELCUM\ TO\ MY\ CHANNEL\ ON\ MIRC.\ READ\ DA\ RULES.TXT\ OR\ FACE\ A\ CONSEUQENCE!!\ \nRATIO\ FTPz\ ONLY\ 0DAY\ 0HOUR\ 0LAMENIZ.\ DOWNLOADIN\ FILES\ OF\ DA\ INTANET.\ SUME1\ \nSEND\ ME\ A\ KEEJEN\ FOR\ DIS\ PROGGIEZ.\ \ ANYONE\ WANT\ TO\ SHAR\ PUBZ??????????\ my\ \nbrother\ raped\ me\ when\ i\ was\ 6\n%\nDoes\ anyone\ else\ find\ it\ ironic\ that,\ as\ your\ virtual\ character\ gains\ \nexperience,\ wealth\ and\ social\ stature,\ your\ reality\ character\ is\ losing\ the\ \nexact\ same\ things\ at\ the\ same\ rate?\n%\nThe\ night\ begins,\ so\ sets\ the\ sun,\ but\ chatting\ now\ has\ just\ begun.\ T'will\ \nyet\ be\ hours\ ere\ I\ am\ done,\ for\ I'm\ the\ chat\ world's\ favorite\ son.\ Although\ \nby\ day\ I\ am\ made\ fun\ (they\ say\ that\ I\ weigh\ nigh\ a\ ton,\ they\ say\ ten\ feet\ I\ \ncannot\ run),\ sour\ regrets\;\ I\ have\ yet\ none.\ They\ may\ laugh\ and\ they\ may\ \nshun,\ but\ words\ cannot\ match\ my\ shotgun\;\ as\ fast\ and\ far\ as\ they\ may\ run,\ \nI'll\ pick\ them\ all\ off\ one\ by\ one.\n%\nFuck\ my\ ass\ 'till\ my\ ass\ is\ filled.\ Thrust\ that\ cock\ up\ to\ the\ hilt.\ Ours\ is\ \nthe\ house\ that\ Shepard\ built\;\ all\ cocks\ hard\ and\ none\ shall\ wilt!\ Splatter\ \nyour\ jizz\ all\ over\ my\ face.\ Rub\ it\ on\ in\ like\ grade\ school\ paste.\ To\ my\ ass\ \nyour\ cock\ has\ laid\ waste\;\ Mom\ still\ thinks\ that\ I\ am\ chaste\ \;)\n%\nBlog\ People\ (or\ their\ subclass\ who\ are\ interested\ in\ computers\ and\ the\ \nglorification\ of\ information)\ have\ a\ fanatical\ belief\ in\ the\ transforming\ \npower\ of\ digitization\ and\ a\ consequent\ horror\ of,\ and\ contempt\ for,\ heretics\ \nwho\ do\ not\ share\ that\ belief.\ Given\ the\ quality\ of\ the\ writing\ in\ the\ blogs\ \nI\ have\ seen,\ I\ doubt\ that\ many\ of\ the\ Blog\ People\ are\ in\ the\ habit\ of\ \nsustained\ reading\ of\ complex\ texts.\ It\ is\ entirely\ possible\ that\ their\ \nintellectual\ needs\ are\ met\ by\ an\ accumulation\ of\ random\ facts\ and\ paragraphs.\n%\nthey\ call\ me\ the\ King,\ of\ downloading\ THings,\ got\ bandwidth\ like\ no\ one\ on\ \nEarth.\ \ My\ modems\ are\ hot,\ but\ the\ warez\ I\ got,\ adds\ to\ my\ collecting-stuff\ \nmirth.\ \ I\ can't\ burn\ enough,\ CD's\ that\ are\ stuffed,\ with\ rars,\ zips,\ and\ \ntars\ of\ all\ kinds,\ but\ I\ must\ be\ strong,\ download\ all\ night\ long,\ ignore\ \ntelltale\ OCD\ signs.\n%\nGuys,\ what\ I\ don't\ get\ about\ plane\ crashes\ and\ falling\ elevator\ deaths\ is:\ \nwhy\ don't\ the\ victims\ just\ time\ it\ so\ that\ they\ jump\ straight\ up\ in\ the\ air\ \nright\ before\ the\ plane\ hits\ the\ ground?\ The\ jump\ would\ be\ a\ little\ high,\ \nyes,\ and\ you\ might\ break\ your\ ankle\ or\ even\ your\ leg,\ but\ isn't\ that\ better\ \nthan\ getting\ smashed\ to\ smithereens?\n%\nMe\ and\ my\ buddy\ were\ in\ downtown\ chicago\ and\ were\ walking\ to\ where\ he\ dad\ \nworks\ and\ we\ came\ across\ this\ bum\ in\ the\ walkway.\ All\ fucking\ sprawled\ out\ \nacross\ the\ sidewalk\ like\ it\ was\ his.\ My\ buddy\ pushed\ him\ with\ his\ foot\ and\ a\ \ncouple\ 40\ oz'ers\ rolled\ out\ from\ underneath\ him.\ Fucking\ lazy\ ass\ bum\ so\ I\ \nkicked\ him\ in\ the\ gut\ as\ hard\ as\ I\ could\ and\ he\ started\ puking\ up\ beer,\ \ncorn,\ and\ something\ that\ looked\ like\ it\ came\ outta\ some\ gay\ dudes\ ass.\ Some\ \nsecurity\ guard\ saw\ us\ and\ tried\ to\ chase\ us\ down\ but\ we\ were\ gone.\ Then\ I\ \nwent\ to\ see\ my\ dad\ and\ go\ to\ GOLDS\ GYM\ to\ bench\ press!!!!!\n%\nI\ like\ to\ show\ off\ that\ I\ freeball.\ I\ love\ to\ have\ my\ pants\ just\ so\ so\ I\ \nshow\ major\ butt\ crack\ also\ when\ I\ am\ at\ a\ urinal\ at\ a\ rest\ stop\ or\ sport\ \nevent\ I\ unzip\ and\ unbutton\ my\ shorts\ so\ that\ when\ I\ am\ pissing\ the\ shorts\ \ndrop\ down\ and\ everyone\ can\ see\ my\ bare\ ass!\ I\ love\ the\ feeling\ of\ guys\ \nknowing\ i\ freeball.\ what\ do\ you\ guys\ do\ to\ show\ off?\n%\ngirl\ u\ must\ be\ grouphug.us\ because\ i\ would\ make\ up\ any\ ridiculous\ story\ just\ \n2\ be\ on\ u\n%\nSeriously,\ I\ have\ the\ greatest\ respect\ for\ blacks.\ One\ of\ my\ best\ friends\ is\ \nAfrican-American.\ These\ people\ put\ up\ with\ so\ much\ hardship,\ just\ like\ \nsufferers\ of\ Down's\ syndrome\ and\ mongoloidism.\ \ I'm\ just\ so\ proud\ they've\ \nearned\ their\ place\ in\ American\ society.\n%\nwhy\ would\ I\ want\ to\ participate\ in\ your\ lousy\ conversation,\ you\ demagogue\ \nclown.\ i\ find\ no\ interest\ in\ you.\ you\ used\ to\ be\ a\ good\ friend\ of\ mine,\ and\ \nbut\ you\ turned\ your\ back\ on\ me.\ you\ stabbed\ me\ right\ in\ the\ heart.\ the\ court\ \nhas\ found\ you\ guilty.\ you\ have\ been\ sentenced\ to\ death.\n%\noh\ yeah\ you're\ such\ a\ dirty\ girl\ arent\ you\ year\ girl\ why\ dont\ you\ jack\ off\ \ndaddy\ yeah\ take\ daddy's\ hard\ cock\ in\ your\ tiny\ little\ doll\ hands\ oh\ yeah\ \nthat\ feels\ so\ good\ now\ jerk\ daddy's\ cock\ off\ back\ and\ forth\ you\ little\ whore\ \noh\ yeah\n%\nur\ a\ very\ ugly\ jew\ thats\ thinks\ ur\ all\ that\ ..\ hope\ ur\ reading\ this\ cause\ u\ \nlook\ like\ a\ fukin\ whore\ with\ that\ nazty\ ass\ makeup...\ U\ fukin\ peice\ of\ shit\ \ni\ hope\ ur\ dad\ rapes\ u\ till\ u\ cant\ move\ a\ muscle\ ...\ wat\ are\ u\ 14\ and\ ur\ dads\ \nlike\ 60...\ ur\ parents\ sure\ like\ to\ get\ it\ on\ ...Blink\ Blink...I\ hope\ u\ and\ \nur\ jappy\ ass\ girl\ friends\ and\ boy\ friends\ die\ in\ hell\ where\ they\ will\ meet\ \nhitler\ and\ have\ some\ fun\ with\ him\ in\ bed\ ..\ if\ u\ kn\ ow\ what\ i\ mean\n%\nPudge\ Picnic\ :\ \ chubs\ on\ chubs\ with\ flab\ to\ spare.\ \ \"No\ condoms!\"\ yelled,\ \nbut\ we\ don't\ care!\ \ Dude's\ be\ fucken,\ dudes\ be\ fucked,\ dudes\ be\ shittin,\ \ndudes\ be\ sucked.\ \ Writhing\ on\ the\ concrete\ floor,\ these\ chubs\ are\ sluts.\ \nThey're\ obese\ whores!\ \ And\ gross!\ They've\ never\ taken\ baths.\ \ Too\ much\ \nchili!\ \ Awful\ gas!!!\n%\nPENIS\ in\ BUTT.\ \ SPERM\ mixed\ FECES.\ \ FASTEN\ your\ SILVER\ COCK\ to\ my\ GOLDEN\ \nHOLE.\ \ My\ STOOL\ is\ the\ SATIN\ SHEET\ for\ your\ VISITING\ HARD-ON.\ \ \ Ejaculate\ \nRAPIDLY\ and\ REPEATEDLY\ on\ my\ BACK\ and\ ANKLES.\ \ DELICIOUS.\n%\na\ little\ squirt\ of\ doody\ came\ out\ when\ I\ was\ picking\ up\ that\ heavy\ jug\ of\ \nmilk,\ when\ i\ took\ of\ my\ spideyman\ underoos\ to\ check\ it\ out\ there\ were\ little\ \nsquiggly\ things\ in\ it..\ they\ were\ moving\ :\ (\n%\nHoly\ lord\ you\ are\ being\ duped.\ Napster\ is\ really\ run\ by\ the\ MPAA\ and\ when\ \nyou\ download\ the\ music\ it\ tracks\ you\ on\ a\ FEDERAL\ GOVERNMENT\ server\ and\ it\ \nbegins\ to\ hack\ ur\ toonz.\ Then\ the\ service\ goes\ under\ and\ the\ files\ self\ \ndestruct\ leaving\ your\ HDD\ as\ a\ pile\ of\ googabits.\ \ Cant\ you\ FOOLS\ see\ that\ \nthis\ is\ just\ a\ plan\ to\ get\ you\ to\ JERK\ your\ DUMB\ NUTS\ while\ wearing\ ASSLESS\ \nCHAPS\ so\ that\ the\ MPAA\ hax\ ur\ data\ and\ enters\ ur\ base\ to\ kill\ ur\ doodz.\ If\ I\ \nsee\ anyone\ using\ CRAPster\ or\ iCOONS\ i'll\ be\ sure\ to\ beat\ their\ head\ in\ using\ \nmy\ engorged\ dong\ for\ their\ own\ safety\ ohh\ yeah.\n%\nI\ cut\ myself\ because\ I\ find\ it\ an\ artform,\ just\ like\ tattoo's,\ but\ I\ LIKE\ \ncutting\ a\ beautiful\ drawing\ into\ myself,\ as\ I\ did\ it\ and\ I\ drew\ it.\ But\ I\ \ndid\ cut\ along\ time\ ago\ so,\ that\ might\ be\ it.\ Anyway,\ I\ only\ cut\ when\ it\ \nfades\ and\ needs\ touching\ up,\ but\ it\ sure\ feels\ good!\n%\nSometimes\ I\ cut\ my\ penis\ when\ I\ get\ depressed...Unfortunatly,\ I\ managed\ to\ \nhalf-circumsize\ myself\ last\ night,\ after\ I\ got\ incredibly\ depressed\ about\ my\ \ngirlfriend\ leaving\ me.\ I\ was\ devastated.\n%\nIn\ all\ the\ outcry\ against\ them,\ too\ many\ people\ are\ forgetting\ the\ \ncontributions\ pedophile\ catholic\ clergymen\ have\ made\ to\ our\ society.\ Did\ you\ \nknow\ that\ the\ term\ \"Joshing\"\ someone,\ meaning\ to\ kid\ actually\ comes\ from\ \nJoshua\ Fairbanks,\ an\ altar\ boy\ famous\ for\ believing\ Father\ Jacob\ Cooper's\ \nlaughable\ claim\ that\ he\ could\ perform\ the\ miracle\ of\ transubstantiation\ if\ \nJoshua\ allowed\ him\ to\ ejaculate\ in\ the\ boy's\ mouth.\ \ ohh\ yeah\n%\nShut\ the\ fuck\ up,\ you\ fucking\ hippy.\ No\ one\ cares\ about\ the\ fact\ that\ you\ \ndon't\ own\ a\ TV\ or\ think\ TV\ is\ only\ for\ idiots,\ or\ whatever\ other\ attitude\ \nyour\ elitist\ comment\ is\ about.\ Take\ it\ to\ the\ coffee\ shop,\ asshole.\n%\nDr.\ Huxtable\ broke\ into\ the\ clinic\ and\ held\ me\ at\ gunpoint.\ I\ was\ his\ \npatient,\ in\ for\ my\ yearly\ pap\ smear.\ I\ couldn't\ believe\ it\ when\ he\ came\ in\ \nthe\ door\ for\ the\ exam\ with\ a\ machete\ in\ his\ hands.\ He\ demanded\ that\ I\ take\ \noff\ my\ clothes,\ and\ begin\ to\ fellate\ him.\ He\ waved\ the\ machete\ around\ like\ a\ \nmadman,\ so\ i\ complied.\ I\ was\ forced,\ at\ knife\ point,\ to\ take\ his\ entire\ \npenis\ into\ my\ mouth.\ Then\ I\ rubbed\ my\ clit\ and\ got\ off\ ohh\ yeah\n%\nDude's\ fucking\ dudes.\ Everybody\ on\ the\ floor.\ No\ condoms\ No\ condoms!\n%\nyo\ what\ drugs\ u\ into?\ im\ all\ about\ the\ opiumnitrous\ /\ dxm\ /\ ketamine\ /\ acid\ \n/\ weed\ /\ hydrocodone\ /\ ultram\ /\ oxy\ /\ demerol\ /\ morphine\ /\ codeine\ /\ \ndihydrocodeine\ /\ heroin\ /\ mdma\ /\ salvia\ /\ 5-meo-dipt\ /\ 5-meo-amt\ /\ amt\ /\ \nrohypnol\ /\ ghb\ /\ mda\ /\ hash\ /\ kavakava\ /\ adderall\ /\ dexedrine\ /\ ritalin\ /\ \nephedrine\ /\ caffeine\ /\ alcohol\ /\ cocaine\ /\ shrooms\ /\ tobacco\ /\ xanax\ /\ \nklonopin\ /\ valium\ /\ ambien\ /\ soma\ /\ flexeril\ /\ zanaflex\ /\ zoloft\ /\ paxil\ /\ \nether\ /\ spraypaint\ /\ phenobarbital\ /\ ativan\ /\ air\ duster\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ alan\ greenspan\ because\ you\ have\ just\ raised\ my\ interest\ \nrate\ by\ several\ percentage\ points\n%\nwiggle\ thatass.pop\ a\ tab\ and\ smoke\ a\ fatty.\ happy\ everyday\ until\ we\ crash\ at\ \nyour\ dads.\ boom\ tisk\ in\ our\ ears\ and\ amphetamines\ in\ our\ blood.giving\ \nblowjobs\ in\ the\ stalls\ to\ pay\ for\ \$10\ water.this\ moment\ will\ last\ \nforever.mom\ and\ dad\ broke\ up\ because\ of\ me\n%\nAgain\ and\ again\ and\ again,\ I\ grow\ weary\ of\ junior\ high\ school\ English\ \nteachers\ trying\ to\ correct\ people's\ speech\ only\ because\ they\ encounter\ \nlanguage\ forms\ they\ aren't\ familiar\ with.\ For\ the\ love\ of\ Mary,\ face\ it!\ \nYour\ English\ is\ only\ good\ enough\ to\ teach\ the\ average\ Mexican\ or\ Cambodian\ \nrefugee\ to\ put\ together\ three-syllable\ words\ into\ coherent\ sentences\ used\ to\ \nbeg\ for\ money,\ alcohol,\ drugs\ or\ shelter.\ Stop\ pretending\ you\ know\ English\ \nbetter\ than\ God\ and\ everyone\ else.\ Comprehend\ that\ the\ mere\ fact\ you\ were\ \nteaching\ English\ in\ the\ first\ place\ means\ that\ you\ weren't\ smart\ enough\ to\ \ndo\ anything\ more\ productive\ and\ therefor\ your\ language\ skills\ are\ firmly\ \nconfined\ to\ the\ mediocre.\ STFU.\n%\nThese\ goddamn\ trolls\ interrupting\ my\ flow.\ These\ niggas\ don't\ respek\ us\ with\ \na\ +o.\ \ They\ gotta\ color\ spam\ and\ fake\ invite,\ bombing\ with\ asciis\ in\ yellow\ \non\ white.\ \ \ Shit\ yeah.\ it's\ bright,\ you\ 12\ year\ old\ kiddie.\ \ You\ ain't\ got\ \npubes\ and\ you\ ain't\ seen\ titty.\ \ I'll\ jupe\ your\ chans\ and\ ban\ your\ ass.\ \ \nDon't\ message\ me\ with\ plz\ unban,\ your\ chance\ has\ passed!\ \ Other\ opers\ \ncrappin\ up\ our\ relay\ net.\ \ Why\ haven't\ you\ delinked\ your\ 386\ yet?\ ircd\ needs\ \nxeons\ and\ dual\ cpus.\ \ When\ it\ comes\ to\ irc\ hardware,\ you\ can't\ be\ a\ jew.\ \ \nShit,\ nobody\ knows\ the\ trouble\ I've\ seen.\ \ On\ invites\ for\ websites\ with\ \nnaked\ teens.\ \ \ Begs\ for\ ops\ and\ packet\ attacks.\ \ Shit\ from\ users\ who\ use\ vi,\ \nnot\ emacs.\ \ Another\ long\ day\ of\ patrolling\ the\ IRC.\ \ Eating\ my\ doritos,\ and\ \nhaving\ a\ jerk,\ I\ chat\ with\ TheWalrus\ and\ #nanog\ faggots.\ \ \ All\ this\ niggas\ \ndo\ is\ complain\ \"the\ lag\ it's--\ \ bad,\ chat\ is\ slow,\ and\ we're\ getting\ \nharassed.\"\ \ Shit,\ trolls,\ this\ k-line\ is\ your\ last.\ \ Once\ more\ and\ it's\ \"G\"\ \nand\ you're\ gone\ for\ good.\ \ \ Banned\ from\ the\ internet\ chatting\ neighbourhood.\ \n\ It's\ lonely\ at\ the\ top.\ Just\ me\ and\ CHANFIX.\ \ Day\ in\ and\ day\ out.\ Banning\ \ntrolls\ with\ my\ linux.\ \ \ We\ give\ safe\ harbor\ to\ chatters\ world\ wide.\ \ From\ \npedophiles\ to\ hacker\ thieves.\ \ Yeah,\ I\ won't\ lie:\ \ IRC\ is\ a\ cesspool\ of\ \ne-misfits.\ \ EazyCheezes\ and\ bagel-cutters\ like\ that\ nigga\ BitS.\ \ But\ at\ \nleast\ we're\ the\ best.\ \ Disagree\ and\ you're\ gone.\ \ BRB,\ mom\ just\ told\ me\ \ngotta\ mow\ the\ lawn.\n%\nbut\ dont\ 4get\ 2\ take\ ur\ pills\ ok\ GUY'S\ dumb\ bastards.....LMFAO..and\ yes\ i\ \ncan\ spell\ un\ like\ u\ DUMB-EEESSSS\ .and\ i\ like\ caps\ 2\n%\nI\ enjoy\ black\ butts,\ butts\ in\ my\ face,\ butts\ which\ haven't\ been\ wiped,\ black\ \ndongs\ in\ my\ rectum,\ big\ sweaty\ black\ balls\ in\ my\ mouth,\ thick\ black\ dongs\ \nslapped\ across\ my\ face.\ I\ enjoy\ pressing\ my\ face\ into\ asses\ and\ sniffing\ \nthem.\ I\ can\ take\ 2\ cocks\ in\ my\ asshole\ and\ 3\ in\ my\ mouth.\ I\ lick\ cocks\ and\ \nbutts.\ I\ shake\ my\ ass\ in\ front\ of\ people's\ face\ before\ they\ fuck\ it\ hard.\ I\ \nwear\ a\ cock\ ring\ and\ enjoy\ letting\ people\ chain\ me\ up\ and\ piss\ on\ me.\n%\ni'm\ going\ to\ jump\ through\ my\ screen\ and\ through\ the\ internet\ and\ into\ your\ \nface\n%\nim\ gonna\ lift\ you\ with\ a\ forklift\ so\ high\ you'll\ beg\ to\ come\ down\n%\nHey\ website\ administrator,\ suck\ my\ motherfuckin'\ dick,\ you\ shit-lickin'\ \nasswipe.\ You\ probably\ fuck\ your\ mother\ up\ the\ asshole,\ don't\ you?\ What\ a\ \nlittle,\ wet,\ wimpering\ vagina\ you\ are!\ P.S.\ Herbert\ Mantooth,\ you\ are\ the\ \nlove\ of\ my\ life\ and\ I\ want\ to\ ram\ my\ shit-covered\ cock\ up\ your\ juicy\ \nrump-hole\ and\ then\ suck\ your\ balls\ raw,\ you\ big-city\ bad-boy\ bitchass\ \nbuttfuck!!!\ Then\ I\ want\ to\ piss\ in\ your\ ass...\n%\nI'm\ so\ sick\ of\ all\ this\ \"digital\"\ vs\ analog\ crap.\ Guys,\ if\ you\ ANAL-logue\ \npeople\ want\ \"Warmth\"\ just\ mix\ white\ noise\ into\ the\ sound\ file,\ or\ use\ shitty\ \ncables.\ That's\ what\ you're\ paying\ \$5000\ a\ preamp\ for,\ suckers!\n%\ni\ heard\ some\ wolves\ dig\ up\ natural\ cannabis\ plants\ and\ get\ thc\ in\ their\ \npaws,\ but\ i\ never\ thought\ it\ was\ true\ until\ a\ wolf\ was\ hit\ by\ a\ car\ in\ front\ \nof\ my\ house!\ i\ smoked\ the\ paws\ and\ was\ six\ different\ kinds\ of\ fucked\ up\n%\nDumb\ Dongs,\ Dumb\ Dongs,\ Why\ Have\ You\ Left\ Me.\ \ How\ I\ miss\ those\ long\ nights,\ \nwhen\ you\ raped\ me\ so\ deftly!\ \ As\ the\ rain\ pitter\ pattered\ the\ shanty's\ metal\ \nroof,\ and\ my\ back\ felt\ the\ sting\ of\ your\ biting\ tooth.\ a\ single\ tear\ down\ my\ \ncheek,\ the\ pleasure\ of\ pain.\ Dumb\ dongs,\ won't\ you\ come\ back\ again?\ \ Again,\ \nI\ pray...please,\ to\ me!\ \ Dumb\ dongs\ is\ what\ I\ want\ to\ see!\ \ And\ if\ you'll\ \nnever\ come\ back\ to\ nest,\ \ I\ can't\ be\ blamed\ for\ what\ comes\ next.\ \ Now\ I\ \nfuriously\ scrape\ my\ Mach3,\ on\ my\ wrists\ for\ from\ life\ I\ flee.\ \ My\ skin\ \ngetting\ all\ irritated,\ but\ I\ fear\ my\ dumb-dongless\ death\ is\ fated.\ \ Dumb\ \nDongs,\ we\ had\ good\ times,\ and\ we\ had\ bad.\ \ From\ that\ first\ fondle\ when\ I\ was\ \na\ lad...to\ teenage\ cockparties\ where\ semen\ was\ drunk.\ \ But\ I'm\ left\ with\ no\ \nDongs\ and\ I'm\ utterly\ sunked.\ \ Dumb\ Dongs,\ au\ revoir,\ my\ lovely\ stiff\ pal.\ \ \nFuck\ this\ suicide\ shit.\ I'll\ jus\ t\ fuck\ gals.\n%\nDING\ DONG\ WONG\ GOT\ A\ RAP\ FOR\ MY\ CLOWNZ\ \ IM\ FAT\ AND\ UGLY\;\ DEY\ PULL\ MY\ PANTS\ \nDOWNZ\ \ AT\ SCHOOL,\ AND\ ITS\ CRUEL\ AND\ DEY\ TINKS\ DEY\ IS\ COOL\ \ BUT\ NIGGAZ\ GONNA\ \nGET\ WHOOPED\ LIKE\ A\ NON-CLOWNY\ FOOL\ \ WHAT\ WHAT\ DONT\ MESS\ WITH\ JUGGALO\ DUDES\ \ \nOR\ ELSE\ WE\ WILL\ SIT\ ON\ YOU\ AND\ YOULL\ BE\ DOG\ FOODZ\ \ IT'S\ NOT\ THAT\ IM\ FAT--MOM\ \nSAYS\ MY\ BONES'\ BIG\ \ SHUT\ DA\ FOOQ\ UP\ BEFORE\ I\ SPLITZ\ YA\ WIG\ FOOdongs\n%\nNow,\ what\ do\ you\ kids\ expect\ from\ an\ operating\ system\ coded\ by\ a\ man\ named\ \nLinus.\ You\ expect\ complete\ compatibility?\ He\ always\ has\ to\ carry\ a\ blanket\ \nwith\ him\ wherever\ he\ goes,\ and\ asks\ Charlie\ Brown\ (hes\ a\ clown!)\ for\ help.\ \nHe's\ supposed\ to\ be\ the\ saviour\ of\ the\ computing\ world?\ I'll\ put\ my\ money\ \nand\ my\ computer\ in\ good\ hands\ with\ Bill\ Gates\ and\ Microsoft.\ Because\ even\ in\ \nthis\ review,\ you\ have\ to\ make\ reference\ to\ Windows\ XP,\ proving\ your\ \ninferiority\ complex.\ Good\ day.\n%\nThe\ Fart\ Fantasy:\ Expel\ your\ gas,\ I\ deeply\ inhale.\ \ The\ fresh\ fart\ from\ an\ \nathletic\ male.\ \ Ohhh\ yes\ it's\ good,\ sweet\ and\ pungent.\ An\ aromatic\ fecal\ \nluncheon!\ with\ delicate\ bouquet\ and\ wispy\ taste,\ this\ fart's\ among\ the\ best\ \nI've\ faced.\ \ Your\ nose\ wrinkled\ in\ abject\ disgust?\ \ Oh\ no,\ it's\ good.\ \ Try\ \nit--you\ must!\ Farts\ are\ nature's\ true\ delight.\ If\ you\ want\ some,\ theres\ no\ \nneed\ to\ fight!\ Form\ a\ line\ right\ at\ my\ ass.\ Just\ wait\ for\ me\ to\ pass\ that\ \ngas.\ Your\ taste\ buds\ exploding,\ flavor\ extreme.\ I\ dont\ know\ about\ you,\ but\ \nit\ makes\ me\ cream.\ My\ pants\ that\ is,\ spurting\ now.\ Theres\ only\ one\ proper\ \nresponse\ -\ WOW.\n%\nOMG\ U\ WILL\ NOT\ GET\ THE\ TRANSIENT\ DAMPENING\ U\ NEED\ U\ MIGHT\ AS\ WELL\ UZE\ UR\ \nRADIO\ SHAK\ EARFONES\ 2\ MIC\ UR\ DRUM\ KIT\ WHICH\ IS\ MADE\ FROM\ 5\ GALLON\ BUCKETS\ \nWHILE\ PLAYING\ UR\ MILK\ CARTON\ UKELELE\ AND\ INSTEAD\ OF\ RECORDING\ IT\ JUST\ HAVE\ \nSOME\ GUY\ PROMISE\ TO\ TRY\ REALLY\ HARD\ TO\ REMEMBER\ WHAT\ IT\ SOUNDED\ LIKE\ SO\ HE\ \nCAN\ TELL\ EVERYONE\ LATER\n%\ni\ gobbled\ up\ turds.\ Yes.\ it\ was\ me!!\ I\ creeped\ into\ the\ mens\ room\ of\ my\ \nlocal\ mcd's.\ \ Murder\ is\ wrong,\ and\ sodomy's\ a\ sin,\ but\ there\ ain't\ nothin\ \nwrong\ with\ this\ shit\ eating\ grin.\ \ Shit\ eating\ grin!\ \ Shit\ eating\ grin.\ \ I'm\ \na\ fecal\ feasting\ faggot,\ always\ have\ been.\ \ Shit\ eating\ grin!\ \ Shit\ eating\ \ngrin!\ \ Well\ hey\ you\ guys,\ what's\ happenin?\ :)\n%\nFolks,\ as\ we\ reflect\ on\ this\ massive\ tragedy,\ it\ behooves\ us\ to\ consider\ \nanother\ giant\ wave\ sweeping\ the\ globe\ killing\ indiscriminantly,\ a\ wave\ of\ \nzionist\ oppresion.\ We\ need\ to\ divert\ funds\ away\ from\ this\ piddling\ natural\ \ndisaster\ to\ fight\ the\ REAL\ threat:\ the\ Jewnami\n%\nthe\ only\ reason\ they\ are\ fighting\ for\ the\ marriage\ thing\ is\ just\ to\ bitch\ \nabout\ something,\ if\ they\ get\ the\ right\ to\ marry\ theyll\ bitch\ about\ something\ \nelse\ nothings\ good\ enough\ for\ homosexuals\ and\ various\ forms\ of\ coloreds.\ not\ \nonly\ do\ they\ have\ forced\ equality\ but\ they\ have\ extra\ benifits\ and\ weak\ \nminded\ people\ tiptoeing\ around\ them\ trying\ to\ be\ PC.\ and\ then\ they\ try\ to\ \nforce\ beliefs\ onto\ people.\ its\ ok\ for\ them\ to\ disagree\ and\ feel\ and\ think\ \nwhat\ they\ want,\ but\ then\ they\ try\ to\ enact\ various\ forceful\ tactics\ on\ \npeople\ who\ are\ equally\ but\ oppositely\ off\ the\ norm\ as\ they\ are,\ such\ as\ \nracists.\ they\ have\ just\ as\ much\ right\ to\ feel\ the\ way\ that\ they\ do\ as\ a\ \nhomosexual\ does\ to\ feel\ the\ way\ they\ do.\ marraige\ is\ not\ a\ civil\ right,\ but\ \nthe\ ability\ to\ hate\ something\ is\n%\nAnime\ characters\ gone\ wild.\ Non\ stop\ hardcore\ erotic\ anime\ moments\ captured\ \non\ film,\ Shockingly\ hot\ steamy\ scenes\ of\ famous\ anime\ characters\ exploring\ \nwild\ sexual\ fantasies.\ Warning:\ Anime\ Fiction\ contains\ explicit\ raunchy\ \ncontent\ (yeah\ baby!)\ and\ is\ definitely\ not\ suitable\ for\ a\ candlelit\ romantic\ \nevening\ with\ a\ loved\ one,\ unless\ you\ both\ like\ watching\ anime\ characters\ get\ \nit\ on!\n%\nwhy\ dont\ you\ linux\ users\ just\ shove\ all\ this\ open\ source\ bullshit\ up\ your\ \nown\ ass.\ \ no\ one\ cares\ about\ compiling\ or\ configuring\ or\ any\ of\ the\ bullshit\ \nyou\ constantly\ jack\ off\ about.\ \ \ we\ normal\ people\ just\ care\ about\ chatting\ \nand\ sending\ email\ to\ our\ friends\ and\ viewing\ the\ www\ so\ please\ shut\ the\ fuck\ \nup\ about\ foxfire\ or\ whatever\ the\ fuck\ tangent\ you're\ going\ off\ on.\ \ thanks\ \nfor\ reading\ this.\ dongs.\n%\nChat.\ Chat.\ Till\ the\ sun\ is\ gone.\ \ Chat\ till\ your\ eyes\ sag\ and\ your\ cheeks\ \nare\ wan.\ \ Quickly\ sip\ that\ fizzing\ mountain\ dew.\ \ Pop\ a\ few\ cheetos\ in\ your\ \nmouth\ and\ chew.\ \ Pimply\ fat\ nerdlings\ huddled\ on\ the\ puter.\ \ #Chatterz:\ \nFinal\ Destination\ for\ those\ without\ a\ future.\n%\nThe\ Flu\ Fuck:\ blow\ that\ snot\ into\ your\ hand.\ \ wipe\ it\ on\ your\ tongue\ oh\ man.\ \n\ crunchy\ crunch,\ the\ boogers\ go.\ \ Gulp!\ you\ swallow.\ Down\ they\ go.\ \ Uh-uh-uh\ \nhere\ comes\ sneeze.\ \ Achoo!\ You're\ bent,\ hands\ on\ your\ knees.\ \ A\ prodding's\ \nfelt,\ betwixt\ your\ cheeks.\ \ What\ the\ heck?\ It's\ a\ linux\ geek\ \ With\ cock\ \nunfurl'd,\ he\ rips\ your\ pants.\ Nothing\ can\ stop\ this\ fag's\ advance.\ \ In\ it\ \ngoes,\ his\ cock\ doth\ plunge.\ Your\ memory\ will\ never\ ever\ expunge:\ this\ \nterrible\ memory\ of\ assrape\ uncouth.\ \ Why\ didn't\ he\ wait?\ Only\ 10\ feet\ from\ \nglory\ hole\ booth\n%\nIt's\ about\ time\ I\ told\ the\ truth.\ The\ reason\ I\ don't\ like\ gays\ is\ that\ when\ \nI\ was\ in\ the\ navy\ I\ had\ several\ homosexual\ experiences\ and\ so\ i\ know\ what\ \nfaggots\ get\ up\ to\ is\ the\ devils\ work.\ This\ black\ guy\ in\ my\ dorm\ used\ to\ make\ \nme\ suck\ his\ dick\ and\ then\ he'd\ pump\ my\ ass\ full\ of\ his\ vile\ semen\ and\ there\ \nwas\ nothing\ I\ could\ do\ about\ it.\ The\ shit\ eating\ faggot\ had\ me\ trapped\ there\ \nfor\ months\ at\ sea\ so\ I\ had\ to\ suck\ his\ rancid\ sambo\ dick\ until\ we\ got\ back\ \nto\ port.\ That's\ why\ faggots\ will\ burn\ in\ a\ lake\ of\ fire\ and\ why\ I\ now\ have\ \nto\ wear\ a\ colostomy\ bag.\n%\nMTV\ is\ responsible\ for\ brainwashing\ the\ youth\ into\ thinking\ that\ niggers\ are\ \ngods\ and\ that\ rap\ is\ music!\ The\ garbage\ that\ they\ pump\ into\ kids\ heads\ \nshould\ be\ punishable\ by\ death\ via\ anal\ electrocution!\ And\ has\ anyone\ seen\ \nthe\ advertisement\ for\ the\ video\ game\ called\ grand\ theft\ auto-san\ andreas?\ \nIsn't\ that\ special?\ A\ game\ that\ glorifies\ niggers\ selling\ crack\ and\ running\ \nthe\ streets\ with\ rocket\ launchers,\ shooting\ at\ cops\ and\ speaking\ ebonics!\ \nGod\ I\ hate\ niggers\ so\ much\ I\ can\ taste\ blood!\n%\nPerhaps\ the\ hottest\ thing\ to\ do\ with\ Ashlee\ Simpson\ would\ be\ to\ \n(consensually)\ punch\ her\ in\ the\ face\ as\ hard\ as\ possible,\ busting\ her\ nose\ \nand\ lip,\ licking\ her\ bloody\ face\ all\ over,\ sticking\ your\ tongue\ down\ her\ \nthroat\ and\ swapping\ blood\ and\ saliva\ for\ hours\ whilst\ playing\ with\ her\ raven\ \nhair\ and\ rubbing\ your\ hard-on\ against\ her\ thigh\ and\ crotch.\n%\nI\ can't\ yawn\ loud\ enough.\ Every\ person\ has\ met\ you.\ The\ \"crazy\ guy\"\ who\ \ncomes\ up\ with\ half-inspired\ shit.\n%\nTAKE\ THE\ RED\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ BLUE\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ RED\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ BLUE\ PILLTAKE\ \nTHE\ RED\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ BLUE\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ RED\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ BLUE\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ \nRED\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ BLUE\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ RED\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ BLUE\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ RED\ \nPILLTAKE\ THE\ BLUE\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ RED\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ BLUE\ PILLTAKE\ THE\ RED\ PILL\n%\nhahahah\ shit\ face,\ yes\ i'm\ so\ jealous\ of\ you!!!\ i\ wish\ i\ was\ some\ ugly\ ass\ \nkid\ who\ lived\ his\ entire\ flaccid\ existence\ for\ the\ joy\ getting\ hits\ on\ some\ \ninternet\ forum.\ it\ must\ be\ better\ than\ getting\ hits\ to\ the\ face\ that\ your\ \nalcoholic\ step\ father\ gives\ you,\ right?\ you\ fucking\ piece\ of\ miserable\ shit.\ \ni\ feel\ sorry\ for\ your\ shit\ parents.\n%\nStill\ dialing\ 911\ for\ emergency\ police\ services?\ If\ you're\ like\ many\ people\ \nin\ the\ New\ York\ area,\ these\ simple\ numbers\ can\ be\ a\ painful\ reminder\ of\ \nloved\ ones\ lost\ in\ the\ terrible\ tragedy\ of\ September\ 11,\ 2001.\n%\nTrolls\ of\ trolls.\ You\ don't\ get\ this.\ \ We\ make\ jokes\ that\ you're\ sure\ to\ \nmiss.\ LOL\ at\ LOL,\ Rolling\ on\ the\ floor.\ \ Laughing\ or\ Crying?\ You\ ass-ruined\ \nwhore.\ \ This\ troll's\ so\ meta\ you\ choked\ on\ a\ chip.\ \ Too\ much\ ranch\ dressing,\ \nyou\ slant-eyed\ nip.\ \ Go\ back\ to\ Everquest\ and\ pretend\ you're\ a\ girl.\ \ We're\ \nthe\ royalty\ of\ trolls.\ Kings,\ dukes\ and\ earls.\n%\nFor\ those\ of\ you\ who\ dont\ know:\ The\ south\ beach\ diet\ consists\ of\ eating\ the\ \nmoist\ turds\ from\ the\ discarded\ bathing\ suits\ abandoned\ at\ the\ beach.\n%\nPeople,\ am\ I\ the\ only\ one\ who\ realizes\ that\ binary\ packages\ are\ almost\ \nuseless?\ Except\ a\ few\ basic\ packages\ (as\ in\ USE\ independent,\ e.g.\ gcc),\ the\ \nresult\ depends\ greatly\ by\ the\ USE\ variable.\ Let's\ take\ for\ example\ the\ \nmod_php\ package.\ How\ useful\ a\ binary\ mod_php\ will\ be?\n%\nbuddy,\ if\ you\ were\ a\ girl\ i\ would\ take\ u\ out\ to\ a\ nice\ steak\ dinner\ (w/\ \nplenty\ of\ steak\ fries)\ and\ a\ movie\ (has\ to\ be\ matinee\ tho)\n%\nhi\ my\ names\ jimmy\ and\ im\ 13\ and\ the\ other\ day\ i\ was\ playing\ with\ myself\ \nwhile\ watching\ showcase\ and\ i\ realised\ i\ couldnt\ quite\ reach\ my\ fireman\ with\ \nmy\ mouth.\ so\ what\ i\ did\ was\ i\ took\ a\ small\ straw\ and\ shoved\ it\ down\ my\ \nurethra.\ and\ i\ started\ to\ blow\ really\ hard..\ now\ i\ have\ a\ small\ bubble\ like\ \nfigure\ on\ the\ side\ of\ my\ fireman..\ could\ this\ be\ from\ blowing\ into\ the\ \nstraw???\n%\nAlgebra\ is\ the\ class\ today.\ All\ these\ numbers\ are\ making\ me\ gay.\ Square\ root\ \nof\ this,\ cosine\ of\ that.\ Goddamn\ the\ math\ teacher\ is\ fat.\ Equations\ and\ \nproofs,\ I\ can't\ take\ any\ more.\ She\ might\ be\ fat,\ but\ hey\ :\ She's\ a\ whore.\ \nI'll\ calculate\ the\ angle\ to\ ruin\ her\ cunt.\ Drive\ in\ my\ protractor,\ for\ a\ \ncalculator\ I\ hunt.\ Need\ to\ calculate\ this\ math\ bitch's\ weight.\ Oh\ fuck\ I've\ \nbeen\ crushed\ \;\ too\ late.\n%\nUhm,\ excusez-moi,\ but\ as\ a\ regular\ on\ the\ richest\ channel\ on\ EFnet,\ I\ think\ \nI\ have\ the\ authority\ to\ deem\ you\ a\ pusillanimous\ troll.\ \ Go\ back\ to\ dipping\ \nyour\ stale\ cheetos\ in\ your\ ramen,\ you\ white\ trash\ \ntoo-poor-to-afford-neutrogena\ too-stupid-to-know-Biore-is-better\ pizza-faced\ \nnerd.\ I'm\ going\ to\ go\ ejaculate\ into\ a\ fresh\ silk\ scarf,\ hand\ made\ by\ a\ Thai\ \ncompany\ in\ which\ my\ father\ has\ a\ controlling\ interest.\ I'm\ just\ glad\ your\ \ninane\ blather\ only\ took\ a\ small\ portion\ of\ my\ glorious\ 30\"\ Apple\ LCD.\n%\nI\ also\ like\ to\ eat\ poop.\ One\ time\ my\ girlfriend\ came\ over\ and\ i\ just\ ate\ her\ \npoop.\ She\ got\ very\ very\ angry\ wehen\ i\ tried\ to\ kiss\ her\ she\ like\ said\ \"\ you\ \nare\ the\ sickest\ person\ in\ the\ world\ you\ sick\ fuck\"\ then\ i\ said\ what\ you\ \ndon't\ like\ to\ eat\ poop.\ I\ mean\ i\ don't\ see\ the\ big\ deal\ i\ mean\ i\ have\ been\ \ndoing\ it\ since\ i\ was\ a\ kid.\ I\ nevver\ had\ any\ friends\ because\ i\ would\ always\ \neat\ there\ poop\ after\ they\ pooped\ it\ out.\ Since\ i\ never\ had\ any\ friends\ I\ \njust\ made\ friends\ with\ my\ poop.\ I\ would\ make\ racecars\ out\ of\ my\ poop\ and\ \nburn\ my\ penis\ with\ cigar\ buds.\ I\ think\ you\ should\ just\ live\ with\ it\n%\nfuck\ with\ me\ and\ i'll\ instant\ message\ you\ with\ text\ size\ 25\n%\nI\ flogged\ my\ engorged\ penis\ in\ a\ manic\ phase.\ My\ scrotum,\ hairless\ and\ taut,\ \nbasked\ in\ warm\ rays.\ Glistening\ with\ sweat,\ Oh\ how\ it\ did\ shine.\ The\ helmet\ \nof\ a\ gladiator\ from\ olden\ time.\ Two\ bronzed\ eggs,\ such\ a\ glorious\ sight.\ A\ \nsymbol\ of\ manhood\ and\ all\ that\ is\ right.\ You\ may\ choose\ to\ snicker\ or\ call\ \nme\ queer.\ Make\ no\ mistake\;\ I\ don�t\ take\ it\ in\ the\ rear.\n%\nLook\ here\ \"dad\",\ the\ thing\ you\ need\ to\ understand\ about\ your\ daughter\ is\ \nthat\ she\ WANTS\ to\ be\ raped.\ She\ LIKES\ it.\ Look\ at\ the\ way\ she\ dresses!\ If\ \nshe\ wanted\ to\ be\ left\ alone\ she\ would\ wear\ the\ burqa\ allah\ so\ wisely\ \ndictates.\ Instead\ she\ dresses\ like\ a\ western\ harlot,\ she\ desires\ to\ be\ \nbeaten\ and\ raped\ like\ all\ sluts\ of\ the\ west.\ \ If\ you\ were\ a\ better\ father\ to\ \nher,\ this\ wouldn't\ have\ happened\ but\ that\ was\ then,\ and\ this\ is\ now,\ and\ I'm\ \nnot\ going\ to\ let\ you\ stand\ in\ the\ way\ of\ her\ happiness\ any\ longer.\ If\ you\ \nwant\ to\ get\ untied\ any\ time\ soon,\ I\ suggest\ you\ quit\ screaming\ and\ let\ me\ do\ \nwhat\ must\ be\ done\ in\ peace.\n%\nYou\ wouldn't\ think\ it\ to\ look\ at\ me,\ but\ I\ am\ a\ serious\ badass\ and\ I\ will\ \nmess\ you\ up\ if\ you\ so\ much\ as\ look\ at\ me\ funny.\ A\ lot\ of\ people\ were\ \nexecuted\ last\ year\ in\ this\ state\ for\ that\ deadliest\ of\ crimes:\ Fucking\ with\ \nme.\ So\ step\ back\ off\ of\ my\ IRC\ channel\ if\ you\ know\ what's\ good\ for\ you,\ \nBITCH.\ \n%\nEarlier\ today,\ while\ talking\ to\ a\ client\ about\ her\ policy,\ I\ accidentally\ \nsaid\ \"I'm\ pro\ rape\"\ instead\ of\ \"I'll\ pro-rate\ your\ account\".\ She\ tried\ to\ \nignore\ the\ slip\ up,\ unfortunately\ I\ complicated\ matters\ by\ gagging\ her\ with\ \nmy\ necktie\ and\ repeatedly\ raping\ her.\ Sometimes\ I\ think\ I\ must\ not\ care\ \nabout\ Geico\ shareholder\ value\ at\ all.\n%\nI\ cant\ believe\ this.\ I\ bought\ this\ Radeon\ X800XT\ and\ I'm\ only\ getting\ 70\ FPS\ \nin\ the\ latest\ action\ game.\ The\ manufacturer's\ drivers\ are\ shit,\ and\ the\ \nprogramming\ for\ the\ game\ is\ sub-standard.\ I\ spend\ my\ good\ money,\ and\ I\ \ndemand\ 72\ FPS\ for\ my\ entertainment\ pleasure.\ \ I\ will\ attempt\ registry\ hacks,\ \nextreme\ overclocking/cooling\ and\ DLL\ replacement\ to\ achieve\ the\ necessary\ \nresult,\ but\ if\ I\ am\ not\ successful,\ this\ game\ is\ the\ worst\ in\ history\ and\ \nshould\ be\ consigned\ to\ your\ recycle\ bin.\ Good\ day.\n%\nThis\ fucking\ faggot\ just\ pisses\ me\ off\ becuz\ he\ and\ I\ were\ internet\ dating\ \nand\ he\ broke\ up\ with\ me\ for\ some\ other\ fuckin\ newbie.\ Ima\ tell\ you\ what\ \ndon't\ internet\ date\ him\ cuz\ he\ cheats\ on\ you\ and\ he\ is\ mean.\ Im\ going\ to\ \nhack\ him\ soon\ and\ hes\ going\ to\ wish\ he\ never\ met\ me\ that\ fuckin\ faggot.\n%\nInsane\ Clown\ Posse\ MegaRap\ -\ \ We're\ da\ Insane\ Clown\ Posse.\ We're\ overweight\ \nand\ bossy.\ \ Oh\ shit\ you\ gotta\ know\ what's\ up.\ \ To\ be\ hardcore\ you\ need\ \nmake-up.\ \ Closet\ faggots\ all\ are\ we.\ \ Fiddle\ my\ balls\ and\ my\ pee-pee.\ Insane\ \nClown\ Posse?\ More\ like\ Loony\ Queer\ Gang.\ One\ dude\ who's\ more\ attractive\ than\ \nus:\ Shredder's\ pal\ Krang.\ \ \ We're\ weird\ and\ we're\ angry\ and\ we\ don't\ conform\ \nat\ all.\ Of\ course\ we've\ never\ faught\ before,\ we'd\ run\ from\ any\ brawl.\ \ You\ \ncoward!\ You\ goddamn\ pussy.\ \ Can't\ you\ handle\ us?\ \ It's\ not\ our\ fault\ cheetos\ \ntaste\ good\ and\ we've\ got\ ample\ guts.\ \ \ Raw\ raw,\ I'm\ Violent\ J\ and\ I\ play\ the\ \ntrombone.\ \ I\ march\ in\ the\ school\ marching\ band\;\ I've\ got\ a\ loving\ home.\ My\ \nlife\ sucks\ bad\ and\ I\ kill\ cops\ and\ shit\ on\ toilet\ seats.\ \ I\ curled\ my\ hair\ \nand\ did\ my\ face\ and\ now\ I'm\ selling\ beats.\ \ For\ legions\ of\ you\ fat-assed\ \nfucks\ think\ I'm\ the\ coolest\ thing.\ \ But\ all\ I\ do\ is\ amplify\ my\ farts\ and\ \nyelling,\ sing.\ \ In\ secret\ I\ buy\ Eminem\ to\ study\ up\ his\ rhymes.\ but\ I\ don't\ \nget\ it,\ how\ he\ does,\ I\ cry\ to\ Mom\ and\ whine.\ \ My\ favorite\ sport\ is\ Ninja\ and\ \nI\ always\ dress\ in\ black.\ It\ looks\ a\ little\ awkward\ in\ gym\ class\ when\ I\ run\ \ntrack.\ \ I\ never\ bring\ the\ proper\ clothes--of\ changing\ I\ am\ scared.\ \ What\ if\ \nthe\ jocks\ see\ how\ my\ tighty-whities\ are\ all\ teared?\ \ \ I\ only\ wear\ one\ pair,\ \nof\ course.\ For\ more\ would\ be\ a\ waste.\ And\ after\ a\ long\ day,\ well,\ I\ just\ \nLOVE\ it\ how\ they\ taste.\ \ That\ sour\ sweet\ of\ sweat\ and\ shit\ forever\ on\ my\ \nlips.\ \ It's\ not\ my\ fault\ if\ briefs\ well\ used\ will\ in\ time,\ rip.\ \ Wash\ my\ \nclothes,\ you\ dare\ suggest?\ Hygiene's\ invoked\ my\ ire.\ \ I\ scrub\ myself\ with\ \noil\ from\ a\ pack\ of\ Oscar\ Meyers.\ Dead\ people,\ gore\ and\ blood.\ It's\ shocking\ \nis\ it\ not?\ \ Check\ it\ out,\ my\ older\ brother\ might\ get\ me\ some\ pot.\ \ Once\ my\ \ndad\ gave\ me\ some\ beer\ and\ yes,\ I\ took\ a\ sip.\ \ Let\ me\ say,\ it's\ good!\ I\ \ncouldn't\ even\ handle\ it.\ \ \ And\ tuesday\ after\ school\ my\ friend\ named\ Mike\ \ngave\ me\ a\ cig!\ But\ I\ was\ scared\ of\ smoke-caused\ cancer.\ Maybe\ when\ I'm\ \nbig...\ Instead\ I\ wrestle\ with\ my\ pals\ in\ first\ or\ second\ grade.\ \ I\ want\ to\ \nbeat\ those\ little\ punks,\ but\ in\ truth,\ well,\ I'm\ afraid.\ \ They\ pin\ me\ down\ \nand\ kick\ me\ in\ the\ head\ so\ violently,\ and\ when\ I\ lay,\ a\ sobbing\ heap,\ they\ \nsquat\ on\ me\ and\ pee.\ Juggy\ Juggy\ Juggalo\ two\ four\ six.\ This\ is\ Linkin\ Park\ \nproduced\ exclusively\ by\ hicks.\ \ I'm\ the\ terror\ from\ Vermont,\ the\ danger\ \nstate\ with\ trees.\ \ Yeah,\ I'm\ from\ the\ cuts.\ It's\ practically\ LBC.\ \ \ I'm\ good\ \nat\ mathematics\ but\ I\ don't\ like\ history.\ but\ more\ than\ doing\ homework\ I\ read\ \nNancy\ Drew\ myst'ries.\ \ So\ you\ see\ it\ doesn't\ get\ any\ more\ hardcore\ than\ this\ \nclown.\ You\ better\ watch\ yourself\ or--OOPs\ O\ shit!\ I\ just\ made\ brown.\ \ I\ \ndon't\ have\ such\ a\ good\ control\ of\ muscles\ in\ my\ rear.\ \ Just\ one\ drawback\ of\ \nbeing\ an\ HIV\ plus\ queer.\ Sometimes\ Dad\ dresses\ like\ Gandalf,\ does\ me\ up\ as\ \nFrodo.\ \ My\ mom\ watches--she\ kind\ of\ looks\ like\ hunchback\ Quasimodo.\ \ The\ \nring\ of\ power\ tween\ my\ cheeks\;\ his\ middle\ in\ my\ earth,\ his\ burly\ arms\ fast\ \nwrapped\ around\ my\ rarely-cleansed\ girth.\ \ I\ try\ to\ tell\ my\ teachers\ of\ my\ \nplight,\ my\ awful\ tale.\ \ But\ when\ I\ get\ to\ Frodo:\ \"Holy\ shit\ I\ DO\ NOT\ CARE.\"\ \nA\ juggalo\ cannot\ exist\ if\ Daddy\ is\ a-rapin.\ \ But\ in\ truth,\ you\ get\ to\ like\ \nit\ so\ there's\ no\ escapin'.\ What's\ it\ matter\ that\ my\ songs\ completely\ lack\ a\ \ntune?\ My\ customers\ are\ tone-deaf\ pusillanimous\ poltroons.\ \ They\ listen\ in\ \nthe\ desperate\ wish\ that\ they'll\ become\ less\ nerdy.\ \ \"I\ can't\ go\ to\ parties,\"\ \nthey\ say.\ Bed\ time\ is\ seven\ thirty.\ \ \ Rebel\ they\ will,\ alone\ in\ a\ bedroom\ \nwith\ door\ a-signed.\ \"No\ girls\ allowed,\"\ boldly\ proclaimed.\ I\ don't\ think\ the\ \ngirls\ mind.\ \ Sipping\ mountain\ dew\ and\ with\ a\ pop\ a\ new\ can-Pringles,\ they\ \nprotest\ online.\ Forum\ posts.\ these\ fags:\ forever\ single.\ I'm\ ninety\ pounds\ \nabove\ the\ line.\ They\ say\ I'm\ overweight.\ So\ what\ if\ I\ could\ never\ ever\ ever\ \nget\ a\ date.\ Yo!\ I'm\ a\ clown\ and\ I'm\ crazy\ and\ I\ sing\ scary\ shit.\ I've\ got\ a\ \ngang\ of\ white\ kids\ who\ in\ front\ of\ Linux\ sit.\ \ The\ white\ screen\ pales\ their\ \nfaces\ which\ are\ pocked\ with\ pimples\ many,\ they\ spend\ their\ nights\ with\ pants\ \nunzipped,\ jerking\ to\ Brain\ and\ Penny.\ \ This\ you\ see's\ my\ posse\ and\ you\ betta\ \nrepresent.\ \ Don't\ be\ male\ or\ have\ a\ cock--our\ pants'll\ be\ a\ tent.\ This's\ \nViolent\ J\ now,\ signing\ off,\ concluding\ this\ show\ live.\ \ It's\ time\ to\ show\ my\ \ntrue\ ID!\ Love,\ Mega\ Man\ 5\ I\ LOVE\ PEE\n%\nhi,\ i\ came\ across\ a\ picture\ on\ 'rate\ my\ poo'\ a\ few\ weeks\ ago,\ of\ a\ female\ \nbent\ over\ in\ a\ forest\ or\ something,\ with\ a\ long\ 'log'\ coming\ out\ of\ her\ \nbackside.\ it's\ since\ been\ vanished\ from\ the\ site\ -\ any\ chance\ of\ it\ being\ \nre-posted,\ or\ getting\ a\ copy\ of\ it\ emailed\ to\ me?\ that\ would\ be\ great!\ \nthanks.......\n%\nI'm\ a\ Vietnam\ Vet.\ I\ don't\ like\ gooks,\ Islam\ and\ all\ that\ shit.\ It\ is\ a\ just\ \nwar\ in\ Iraq.\ Those\ son\ of\ a\ bitchin\ Iraqi's\ are\ trying\ to\ make\ other\ people\ \nlive\ like\ them,\ including\ you.\ Look\ at\ what\ they\ did\ to\ the\ Kurds,\ the\ \ninvasion\ of\ Kuwait\ and\ the\ beheadings\ of\ the\ internationals\ who\ have\ nothing\ \nto\ do\ with\ the\ war.\ They're\ cowards\ and\ eventually\ will\ be\ eliminated\ if\ for\ \nanything,\ their\ oil.\ The\ John\ Kerry\ liberals\ of\ the\ world\ are\ also\ your\ \nenemies\ along\ with\ the\ fuckin'\ U.N.\ Koffi\ Annan\ is\ nothing\ but\ a\ \nlying/stealing\ thief\ with\ interests\ in\ the\ middle\ east.\ Fuck\ 'em\ all.\ I'm\ \nglad\ we\ went\ to\ war\ without\ 'em.\ Remember,\ it\ wasn't\ too\ long\ ago\ that\ we\ \nwere\ at\ war\ with\ G.Britain,\ Germany,\ Japan.\ North\ Korea\ is\ next.\ Kim\ Il\ Jung\ \nhas\ shit\ for\ brains\ and\ will\ also\ meet\ his\ fate.\ Don't\ trust\ those\ fuckin'\ \nRussians\ either.\ The\ history\ of\ war\ always\ repeats\ itself.\ I\ would\ rather\ \nfight\ and\ die,\ not\ for\ the\ liberal\ fagots\ of\ this\ country,\ but\ for\ my\ own\ \npiece\ of\ mind\ and\ revenge.\ Fuck\ all\ that\ talk\ about\ colateral\ damage.\ How\ \nmuch\ colateral\ damage\ was\ done\ in\ New\ York?\n%\nJust\ as\ there\ are\ warnings\ on\ cigarette\ packages\ that\ smoking\ will\ give\ you\ \ncancer,\ White\ people\ should\ be\ warned\ that\ their\ risk\ of\ getting\ AIDS\ is\ \nincreased\ dramatically\ by\ having\ sex\ with\ Negroes.\ Not\ that\ a\ National\ \nSocialist,\ or\ any\ racially\ aware\ White\ person,\ would\ ever\ in\ a\ million\ years\ \nhave\ a\ desire\ to\ have\ sex\ with\ a\ Negro!\ However,\ many\ of\ our\ racial\ brothers\ \nand\ sisters\ are\ victims\ of\ anti-White\ propaganda\ and\ actually\ believe\ that\ \nrace-mixing\ is\ a\ good\ thing.\ These\ people\ should\ be\ made\ aware\ that\ their\ \nchances\ of\ getting\ AIDS\ is\ increased\ by\ such\ actions.Negroes,\ who\ only\ make\ \nup\ about\ 13%\ of\ the\ US\ population,\ now\ account\ for\ more\ than\ half\ of\ all\ new\ \nH.I.V.\ infections,\ according\ to\ the\ Centers\ for\ Disease\ Control\ and\ \nPrevention.\ Negro\ females\ account\ for\ 72\ percent\ of\ all\ new\ cases\ among\ \nwomen.\ These\ facts\ should\ shake\ the\ racially\ numb\ White\ into\ reality!\n%\nYou\ have\ all\ been\ brainwashed.\ Yes\ the\ airwaves\ taught\ you\ that\ hating\ \nblacks\ is\ wrong\ and\ they\ do\ not\ stop\ there.\ They\ are\ telling\ us\ that\ we\ must\ \naccept\ faggots\ rights.\ They\ tell\ us\ when\ we\ are\ preaching\ the\ word\ of\ God\ \nabout\ how\ God\ hates\ the\ HOMOS\ that\ we\ are\ commiting\ hate\ crimes.\ Another\ \nbuzzword\ for\ you\ simpletons\ to\ use\ to\ make\ yourself\ think\ you\ are\ a\ tolerant\ \nintelligent\ person.\ I\ guess\ you\ folks\ think\ you\ are\ smarter\ than\ God.\ You\ \ntell\ the\ semen\ drinking\ feces\ eating\ faggots\ that\ they\ have\ a\ right\ to\ do\ \nwhat\ they\ do\ even\ if\ it\ kills\ them\ with\ disease.\ You\ say\ I\ cannot\ preach\ my\ \nbible\ and\ warn\ these\ filthy\ faggots\ where\ they\ will\ spend\ eternity\ should\ \nthey\ continue\ this\ vile\ lifestyle.\ Does\ anyone\ have\ tolerance\ for\ a\ person\ \nliving\ a\ Christian\ lifestyle.\ Who\ sticks\ up\ for\ us?\n%\nI\ always\ told\ myself\ I\ would\ try\ anything\ once\ but\ this\ was\ a\ total\ failure.\ \nWas\ smoking\ some\ killer\ hash\ in\ denmark\ and\ met\ this\ american\ african\ woman\ \nnamed\ shawna.\ She\ seemed\ to\ be\ educated\ and\ we\ hit\ it\ off.\ One\ thing\ led\ to\ \nanother\ and\ then\ She\ gave\ me\ a\ BJ\ which\ was\ really\ good\ and\ when\ I\ went\ down\ \non\ her\ I\ vomited.\ I\ lied\ and\ told\ her\ I\ had\ a\ cold\ with\ post\ nasal\ drip.\ I\ \nhave\ sores\ in\ my\ mouth.\ After\ wiping\ the\ vomit\ off\ of\ her\ and\ a\ couple\ lines\ \nof\ coke\ I\ entered\ her\ doggy\ style.\ Good\ thing\ she\ would\ have\ made\ me\ \ndismount\ after\ the\ expression\ of\ the\ stench\ I\ experienced.\ It\ was\ a\ terrible\ \ndiareah\ stench\ which\ from\ what\ i\ hear\ is\ normal.\ I\ had\ to\ take\ yet\ another\ \nline\ of\ coke\ to\ finish\ the\ job.\ The\ sex\ was\ below\ average\ and\ dismal\ if\ you\ \nconsider\ the\ hideous\ odor\ I\ went\ through.\ Just\ got\ back\ from\ the\ Doctor\ and\ \nI\ have\ the\ clap.\ I\ thought\ Americans\ were\ clean.\ WTF?\n%\nFUCC\ ALL\ U\ DAYM\ HATERSZ..U\ CAN\ JUX\ EAT\ DIS\ FRESH\ LAO\ PUSSY\ RYT\ HER\ NIGGUH!!!\ \nI\ DONT\ GIVUH\ DAYM\ IF\ PPL\ CALL\ ME\ A\ FUCCIN\ HOE\ CUZ\ I\ NOE\ IM\ NOT.\ DATS\ ALL\ U\ \nGUYS\ FUCCIN\ DO\ IS\ 2\ TALK\ SHIT\ ABOUT\ ME??\ IS\ DAT\ ALL\ U\ CAN\ FUCCIN\ DO?\ U\ NO\ \nWAT?\ I\ DONT\ GIVUH\ DAYM\ CUHZ!\ FUCC\ U\ NIKKAS\ DER\ AINT\ ROOM\ 4\ HATERSZ\ IN\ MAH\ \nLIFE\ AND\ SOUL\ NIGGUH\ FUCC\ U!\ DIE\ N\ GO\ 2\ HELL\ BITCH!\ ALL\ U\ DO\ IS\ JUDGE\ ME\ BYE\ \nDA\ WAY\ I\ DRESS\ AND\ U\ DONT\ NOE\ DA\ WHOLE\ STORY.\ DONT\ JUX\ JUDGE\ DA\ BOOK\ BY\ DA\ \nCOVER!\ READ\ DA\ WHOLE\ STORY\ FIRST!\ \ I\ FUCCIN\ HATE\ ALL\ U\ FUCCIN\ HATERSZ!\ U\ \nDONT\ NOE\ WAT\ IVE\ BEEN\ THREW!\ U\ NOE\ WAT!\ FUCC\ ALL\ U\ HATERSZ!\ U\ FUCCIN\ DISGUST\ \nME!\ U\ MAKE\ ME\ WONA\ SPIT\ AT\ CHU!\ NiKKuH\ FuCc\ aLL\ Da\ HaTeRsZ\ uP\ iN\ DiZ\ ShiiT!\n%\nWell,\ what\ else\ is\ open?\ Besides\ your\ mouth...when\ you're\ like\ kissing\ on\ \nsome\ gay\ dude\ and\ like\ holding\ his\ muscles,\ cuz\ his\ arms\ just\ are\ like\ \nwrapped\ around\ you...and\ you\ feel\ like\ so\ safe\ cuz\ you're\ like,\ you\ know,\ \nnot\ like\ you're\ gay\ or\ nothin'\ but\ God\ you\ just\ want\ to\ like\ bury\ yourself\ \nin\ his\ chest\ and\ just\ live\ there\ forever.\n%\nMac\ supporters\ are\ always\ criticizing\ Intel\ processors\ for\ their\ deadend\ \nCISC\ processors.\ \ Well,\ I\ just\ have\ to\ say\ it's\ not\ worth\ the\ weight\ gain.\ \ \nSo\ what\ the\ G5\ has\ a\ more\ promising\ future?\ I've\ seen\ the\ obesity\ figures\ on\ \nMac\ users.\ \ Is\ using\ a\ Bisque\ processor\ worth\ the\ risks\ of\ being\ overweight?\n%\nComputers\ affect\ almost\ every\ aspect\ of\ our\ lives,\ from\ driving\ to\ alarm\ \nclocks\ to\ music\ to\ refridgerators\ to\ our\ leisure\ time\ to\ our\ social\ lives\ to\ \nad\ nauseum.\ These\ things\ are\ intertwined\ with\ our\ lives\ in\ ways\ that\ are\ \noften\ unnoticed,\ yet\ they\ affect\ us\ directly\ -\ so\ directly\ that\ I\ think\ that\ \nwhen\ we\ are\ talking\ about\ the\ latest\ Mac\ product,\ we're\ not\ talking\ about\ a\ \n\"product\"\ but\ about\ a\ way\ of\ life.\n%\nyour\ a\ little\ bitch..all\ you\ do\ is\ sit\ at\ home\ on\ ya\ comp\ looking\ for\ free\ \nhomosexual\ website...................come\ to\ arizona\ mother\ fucker.the\ \ndesert\ juggalos\ will\ be\ waitin.hows\ bout\ you\ o\ to\ every\ state\ and\ walk\ up\ to\ \nsome\ real\ juggalo\ killas\ and\ tell\ em\ to\ they\ face\ icp\ sucks..then\ we\ see\ \nwhos\ tough....your\ talking\ hit\ through\ a\ fucin\ creen......HA\ HA\ HA\ HA\ HA\ \npussy\n%\nWhite\ women\ simply\ can't\ get\ enough\ black\ dick,\ it's\ a\ proven\ fact.\ You\ may\ \nthink\ your\ wife\ is\ faithful,\ but\ this\ is\ generally\ only\ the\ case\ if\ she's\ \nnot\ attractive\ enough\ to\ land\ a\ black\ cock\ of\ her\ own.\ Don't\ believe\ me?\ \nThink\ about\ how\ many\ black\ men\ your\ wife\ or\ girlfriend\ interacts\ with\ EVERY\ \nDAY.\ Odds\ are,\ she's\ fucking\ at\ least\ one\ of\ them,\ maybe\ more!\n%\nI've\ been\ running\ Windows\ XP\ since\ beta2,\ and\ it\ really\ kicks\ ass.\ I\ don't\ \nhave\ to\ recompile\ my\ kernel\ when\ I\ want\ to\ install\ an\ ethernet\ card,\ it\ \nautomatically\ detects\ it\ and\ installs\ the\ drivers\ no\ matter\ who\ the\ \nmanufacturer\ is.\ Dual\ monitors?\ No\ chore\ with\ windows,\ get\ two\ video\ cards,\ \ntwo\ monitors\ and\ it's\ set\ up!\ I\ don't\ need\ to\ edit\ config\ files\ with\ editors\ \nthat\ are\ 20\ years\ old,\ and\ show\ it.\ Intellimouse\ custom\ buttons?\ Piece\ of\ \ncake,\ with\ my\ Intellimouse\ software.You\ want\ to\ run\ games?\ Great!\ Choose\ \nfrom\ an\ array\ of\ tens\ of\ thousands\ of\ games\ that\ run\ great\ under\ DirectX\ and\ \nthe\ NT\ subsystem.\ Stability\ got\ you\ down?\ Not\ in\ this\ version,\ I\ have\ had\ \nuptimes\ of\ over\ a\ month\ (and\ then\ the\ damn\ power\ goes\ out).\ Good\ internet\ \nbrowser?\ No\ need\ for\ Kommunist\ shit,\ you've\ got\ the\ great\ Internet\ Explorer\ \n6\ a\ click\ away.\ Doing\ some\ development?\ Nothing\ but\ the\ best\ for\ Windows\ \nusers,\ choose\ from\ a\ suite\ of\ Visual\ Studio\ products\ that\ suits\ your\ needs,\ \nwith\ one\ killer\ IDE.\ Or,\ pick\ up\ a\ beta\ edition\ of\ Visual\ Studio.NET\ if\ you\ \nhave\ 200\ megs\ of\ RAM\ to\ spare!\ You\ Linux\ faggots\ can\ keep\ rooting\ for\ your\ \npiece\ of\ shit\ operating\ system\ that\ Windows\ 3.1\ tops\ in\ terms\ of\ \ncompatibility,\ all\ the\ while\ hindering\ your\ experience\ for\ something\ else\ \nyou\ could\ be\ doing,\ while\ I\ use\ the\ operating\ system\ of\ choice\ (or\ by\ \ndefault)\ for\ over\ 200\ million\ others\ in\ the\ world.\ Anti-Microsoft\ zealots\ \npiss\ and\ moan\ all\ you\ want,\ but\ your\ queer\ little\ OS\ won't\ be\ the\ reigning\ \ndesktop\ champion\ anytime\ soon.\n%\nYep,\ Heidi\ Klum\ has\ done\ it,\ she�s\ shown\ just\ how\ low\ she\ will\ go.\ It�s\ sad\ \nin\ a\ way,\ but\ to\ be\ expected,\ she\ isn�t\ getting\ any\ younger,\ and\ what\ better\ \nway\ to\ bring\ attention\ to\ yourself,\ than\ to\ show\ the\ world\ you�re\ a\ \nlow-class\ nigger-loving\ slut-whore\ black\ pole-humping\ piece\ of\ euro-trash?\ \nAt\ one\ time,\ early\ in\ her\ career,\ she\ was\ quite\ beautiful,\ but\ now,\ she�s\ \njust\ another\ pig.\ She�s\ no\ different\ than\ the\ usual\ white\ trash\ that\ ends\ up\ \ndating/marrying\ this\ unevolved\ species\ that\ time\ forgot.\ So,\ farewell\ Heidi,\ \nhope\ you\ get\ pregnant,\ and\ have\ the\ opportunity\ to\ raise\ future\ criminals,\ \nmurderers\ and\ rapist,\ er,\ I\ mean\ children\n%\nA\ special\ warning\ about\ Matrox\;\ they\ are\ from\ Canada,\ and\ so\ their\ products\ \ndo\ not\ meet\ the\ demanding\ electrical\ standards\ required\ of\ American\ computer\ \nequipment\ and\ because\ their\ chipsets\ are\ mostly\ illegal\ counterfeits\ of\ \nAmerican\ chips,\ you\ may\ encounter\ unexpected\ bugs\ and\ compatibility\ problems\ \nwith\ standard\ APIs\ such\ as\ DirectX.\ ATI\ is\ also\ Canadian\ and\ has\ the\ same\ \nproblems\;\ counterfeit\ computer\ part\ manufacturers\ are\ \ \ attracted\ to\ Canada\ \nby\ its\ lax\ intellectual\ property\ laws.\n%\nDon't\ open\ those\ emails.\ Don't\ surf\ that\ page.\ \ Lock\ yourself\ in\ a\ faraday\ \ncage.\ \ Your\ monitor'll\ pop\ and\ your\ CPU\ will\ fry.\ \ All\ I\ have\ to\ do\ is\ click\ \nthe\ button\ labeled:\ Die.\ \ I've\ got\ your\ IP\ targeted,\ your\ DNS\ uncloaked.\ \ \nSurrended\ and\ pony\ up,\ or\ click\ and\ Boom:\ You're\ smoked.\n%\nThe\ closest\ I've\ ever\ come\ to\ sucking\ my\ father's\ dick\ was\ the\ time\ he\ \ncaught\ me\ going\ through\ the\ trashcan\ in\ his\ bedroom.\ As\ a\ teenager\ growing\ \nup,\ I\ would\ always\ search\ my\ parents'\ bedroom\ trashcan\ for\ used\ condoms.\ I'd\ \nslide\ the\ used\ condoms\ over\ my\ own\ cock\ and\ jerk\ off\ with\ them,\ excited\ by\ \nthe\ feeling\ of\ my\ father's\ jizz\ and\ by\ the\ idea\ of\ adding\ my\ own\ fuckload\ \ninto\ his.\ Well,\ he\ eventually\ caught\ me\ kneeling\ over\ the\ trashcan,\ sticking\ \nmy\ tongue\ deep\ into\ one\ of\ the\ sticky\ used\ condoms\ and\ stroking\ my\ cock\ with\ \nmy\ free\ hand.\ I\ was\ literally\ caught\ with\ my\ pants\ down,\ and\ there\ was\ no\ \nway\ for\ me\ to\ hide\ what\ I\ was\ doing.\ After\ what\ seemed\ like\ several\ horrific\ \nminutes\ of\ stunned\ silence,\ he\ finally\ mumbled\ something\ about\ the\ fact\ that\ \nat\ least\ I\ was\ growing\ up\ into\ a\ healthy\ young\ man,\ and\ that\ I\ shouldn't\ \nstop\ what\ I\ was\ doing\ or\ I'd\ get\ blueballs.\ As\ embarrassed\ as\ I\ was,\ my\ cock\ \ndidn't\ want\ me\ to\ stop\ what\ I\ was\ doing,\ either.\ My\ father\ sat\ next\ to\ me\ on\ \nthe\ bed\ while\ I\ continued\ to\ sit\ on\ the\ floor\ jerking\ off.\ The\ novelty\ of\ \nthis\ situation\ had\ me\ horny\ as\ fuck\ but\ also\ a\ bit\ nervous\ (sort\ of\ like\ \nperformance\ anxiety)\ and\ it\ took\ me\ a\ while\ to\ finally\ pump\ out\ my\ cream.\ As\ \nI\ started\ to\ shoot\ off,\ I\ felt\ an\ unexpected\ sensation\ on\ my\ shoulder.\ My\ \nfather\ had\ been\ stroking\ his\ own\ cock\ as\ well,\ and\ he\ orgasmed\ at\ the\ same\ \ntime\ I\ did.\ I\ quickly\ turned\ around\ and\ saw\ him\ pump\ out\ another\ two\ or\ \nthree\ streams\ of\ cum.\ His\ eyes\ were\ screwed\ tight,\ and\ that\ fact\ made\ me\ \nbold\ enough\ to\ lean\ in\ close\ enough\ to\ gently\ lick\ on\ the\ slit\ of\ his\ \nswollen\ cockhead.\ I\ got\ the\ last\ drop\ of\ his\ spunk\ on\ my\ tongue.\ If\ he\ \nnoticed,\ he\ never\ let\ on.\ So\ I\ actually\ tasted\ my\ father's\ jizzcream,\ both\ \nfrom\ his\ used\ condoms\ and\ directly\ from\ his\ cock,\ but\ I\ never\ did\ actually\ \nblow\ him.\ But\ maybe\ one\ of\ these\ days\ I'll\ have\ the\ guts\ to\ ask\ him\ if\ he'd\ \nlet\ me.\ I\ think\ he\ might\ just\ not\ mind!\n%\nDid\ you\ know?\ The\ real\ reason\ slavery\ was\ abolished\ in\ the\ United\ States\ was\ \nthe\ discovery\ that\ niggers\ would\ gladly\ continue\ working\ in\ the\ fields\ all\ \nday\ in\ order\ to\ buy\ themselves\ shiny\ shoes\ and\ fried\ chicken\ in\ order\ to\ \ndemonstrate\ their\ newfound\ wealth\ and\ freedom\ to\ other\ fellow\ niggers.\ By\ \nremoving\ the\ financial\ sensibilities\ of\ the\ white\ man\ from\ these\ shitskinned\ \njungle\ turds,\ our\ society\ has\ flourished\ greatly\ in\ the\ last\ 140\ or\ so\ years.\n%\nIt's\ just\ retarded\ 10yr\ old\ humor.\ Oh\ wow,\ Topless\ chick\ made\ out\ of\ pixels,\ \nbeing\ zoomed\ in\ on\ by\ a\ perv.\ The\ desert\ comment\ doesn't\ even\ make\ sense,\ \nthere's\ grass\ there.\ Also,\ You\ can\ clearly\ tell\ she's\ dead,\ So\ that\ would\ be\ \nfantasizing\ necrophelia.\ Good\ job.\ Sick\ bastards.\n%\nWe\ need\ to\ remove\ laws\ which\ prohibit\ civilian\ ownership\ of\ rocket\ propelled\ \ngrenades\ and\ mobile\ surface\ to\ air\ missiles\ to\ enable\ our\ patriots\ to\ \noverthrow\ the\ state\ in\ the\ event\ a\ tyrannical\ government\ takes\ power.\n%\nMy\ mouth\ is\ at\ your\ disposal.\ Use\ it\ for\ your\ pleasure\ as\ I'm\ a\ GREAT\ \ncocksucker.\ Use\ it\ for\ your\ toilet\ as\ I'll\ drink\ your\ piss\ and\ eat\ your\ shit\ \nturd\ logs.\ You\ may\ treat\ me\ however\ it\ is\ that\ you\ want,\ whatever\ makes\ you\ \nHOT\ HARD\ and\ HORNY.\ I\ like\ guys\ 50\ yrs\ or\ older.\ Straight/Bi/Gay\ \nMarried/Single/Whatever...I\ am\ discreet.\ I\ am\ single\ and\ live\ alone\ in\ Long\ \nBeach\ California,\ so\ would\ like\ to\ keep\ action\ in\ Long\ Beach\ California,\ so\ \nwould\ like\ to\ keep\ action\ in\ the\ LA/Northern\ Orange\ county\ area.\ I\ can\ \neither\ host\ or\ come\ to\ you.\ I\ await\ your\ golden\ logs,\ mouth\ watering.\n%\nwhat\ is\ the\ point\ of\ gay\ marriage\ ?\ marriage\ as\ an\ institution\ exists\ to\ \nkeep\ people\ who\ don't\ love\ each\ other\ together\ for\ the\ benefit\ of\ their\ \noffspring\ .\ why\ do\ gays\ want\ this?\n%\nIt's\ a\ shame\ the\ gooks\ beat\ you\ good\ in\ Vietnam.\ (though\ you\ probably\ won\ \nthe\ unofficial\ underage\ girl\ rape\ contest)You\ fucking\ rambo\ wankers\n%\n<3\ BUSH,\ ONWARD\ CHRISTIAN\ SOLDIERZ,\ NEW\ WORLD\ ORDER,\ MITE\ MAKEZ\ RITE,\ THE\ \nSWORD\ CHOPZ\ OFF\ THE\ ARM\ HOLDING\ THE\ PEN,\ MANIFEZT\ DESTINY,\ REPREZENTIN'\ DA\ \nZOG\ CLIQUE,\ MACHIVELLIAN,\ DIDN'T\ NEED\ 2\ SERVE\ IN\ VIETNAM\ TO\ BOMB\ DA\ KORAN,\ \nBANG\ BANG,\ IRAQ\ THE\ NEW\ SOVIET\ BLOC,\ GUN-BARREL\ DIPLOMACY,\ VOTE\ NADER\ VOTE\ \nNADER\ VOTE\ NADER\n%\nAs\ long\ as\ I\ can\ remember,\ I've\ been\ picking\ at\ this\ small\ scab\ inside\ my\ \nright\ nose\ near\ the\ nostril\ opening\ alongside\ the\ bone\ area.\ Sometimes\ its\ \nflaky\ and\ hardened\ and\ thats\ why\ I\ pick\ at\ it\ and\ it\ never\ really\ goes\ away.\ \nOther\ times,\ its\ perfectly\ fine.\ Your\ thoughts?\n%\nHello.\ \ I\ am\ rich,\ and\ have\ the\ biggest\ computer.\ In\ addition\ to\ this,\ I\ \nalso\ masturbate\ into\ the\ most\ expensive\ monogrammed\ towels\ you'll\ ever\ set\ \nyour\ eyes\ upon.\ \ You\ can\ not\ even\ possibly\ compare\ to\ me.\ \ Good\ day.\n%\nI\ saw\ in\ a\ recent\ magazine\ that\ companies\ are\ legitimately\ selling\ catheters\ \nas\ gaming\ accessories.\ \ Sitting\ immobile\ in\ a\ chair,\ hooked\ up\ to\ a\ catheter\ \nfor\ the\ rest\ of\ your\ life..\ \ does\ this\ sound\ like\ anyone??\ Christopher\ Reeve\ \ntried\ in\ vain\ for\ years\ to\ escape\ what\ you\ people\ do\ to\ yourselves\ willingly\ \nevery\ day.\ \ My\ God,\ get\ some\ priorities!!\n%\nspeaking\ of\ policy,\ at\ least\ my\ country\ has\ enough\ sense\ to\ limit\ itself\ to\ \ntwo\ moderately\ similar\ political\ parties.\ \ you\ disgust\ me\ with\ your\ \nparliamentary\ coalitions\ that\ don't\ manage\ to\ do\ anything\ except\ to\ \nhighlight\ the\ evils\ of\ socialism\n%\nOMG\ RIAA\ MPAA\ STARFORCE\ 3\ DA\ SCENE\ IS\ DYING\ FTP\ FBI\ CYBERCRIMES\ DOJ\ RIP\ \nISONEWS\ MITNICK\ SCENERS\ CODING\ MOUNTAIN\ DEW\ LEECH\ ACCESS\ DISTRO\ HONEYPOT\ \nUNIVERSITY\ SERVER\ OC192\ TOPSITES\ CLICK\ HERE\ FOR\ FREE\ WAREZ\ CRACKIN\ \nPHREACKING\ HPVAC\ PHRACK\ MAGAZINE\ 2600\ MITNICK\ MITNICK\ MITNICK\ FXP\ COLECO\n%\nWTF\ LEAVE\ CHEESEBURGERS\ OUT\ OF\ THIS\ WHAT\ DID\ THEY\ DO\ TO\ YOU!?\ \ JUST\ BECAUSE\ \nYOURE\ SOME\ PO-DUNK\ NIGGA\ FROM\ DA\ GHETTO\ DOESNT\ MEAN\ YOU\ GOTTA\ BE\ BASHIN\ ON\ \nCOOKED\ COW\ I\ MEAN\ SERIOUSLY\ ILL\ BET\ MONEY\ THAT\ YOU\ EAT\ ENOUGH\ FRIED\ CHICKEN\ \nTO\ FEED\ THE\ ENTIRE\ CONTINENT\ OF\ AFRICA\ AND\ YOU\ PROBABLY\ GUZZLE\ ENOUGH\ MALT\ \nLIQUOR\ TO\ FILL\ 200\ BOEING\ 747S\ SO\ SHUT\ THE\ FUCK\ UP\ YARD\ APE\n%\nI\ fail\ to\ see\ how\ you're\ a\ genius\;\ passing\ up\ people\ who\ can\ actually\ play\ \ninstruments\ for\ rappers\ who\ blubber\ into\ a\ microphone.\ However,\ I\ pick\ up\ on\ \nthe\ hints\ that\ you're\ an\ African\ American\ and\ you\ would\ support\ your\ fellow\ \n\"musicians\"\ in\ their\ tirade\ of\ encouragement\ for\ shootings,\ drugs,\ and\ \nwhores.\ Little\ do\ you\ know\ you're\ only\ fueling\ this\ society's\ demise\ by\ \nencouraging\ barbaric\ hip\ hop\ culture.\ Have\ a\ great\ day.\n%\nOf\ course,\ the\ day\ will\ come\ when\ the\ stupids\ and\ the\ normals\ such\ as\ \n(chances\ are)\ yourself\ will\ fuck\ things\ up\ with\ your\ free-market,\ \nall-American,\ freedom-loving\ life-style\ to\ the\ point\ where\ the\ rest\ of\ us\ \nwho\ have\ more\ than\ two\ brain-cells\ rubbing\ together\ will\ have\ no\ choice\ but\ \nto\ exterminate\ you\ all.\ Sure,\ eat\ another\ cheeseburger\ and\ add\ another\ \npound,\ pretend\ to\ be\ a\ sensitive,\ caring\ guy\ when\ all\ you\ really\ want\ to\ do\ \nis\ sneak\ into\ your\ room\ and\ see\ if\ you\ can\ find\ any\ pornography\ where\ hot\ \nblondes\ are\ forced\ to\ eat\ shit\ and\ suck\ black\ cocks\ while\ hot\ Asian\ lesbians\ \nsuck\ menstrual\ blood\ out\ of\ their\ wet\ cunts.\ Just\ keep\ your\ head\ pointed\ \nstraight\ at\ that\ little\ monitor\ of\ yours,\ and\ you\ won't\ even\ see\ us\ as\ we\ \nsneak\ up\ and\ put\ the\ gun\ to\ your\ head.\ We\ will\ show\ you\ no\ mercy.\ We\ will\ \nfind\ you,\ we\ will\ slit\ your\ childrens'\ throats,\ and\ people\ like\ you\ will\ \nhang\ from\ the\ street\ lights.\ None\ shall\ escape\ the\ holocaust\ of\ the\ useless!\n%\nWould\ you\ like\ another\ piece\ of\ waddymelon\ to\ go\ with\ that\ fried\ chicken\ and\ \nmalt\ liquor?\ Beat\ it\ shitskin\ banjolips.\ This\ is\ a\ place\ for\ humans.\n%\nyea\ i'm\ in\ class\ and\ fell\ upon\ this\ site,\ i'm\ no\ techie\ but\ am\ quite\ \nintrigued\ by\ the\ discussions\ taking\ place\ here.\ altough,\ i\ mean\ you\ guys\ \nsound\ like\ internet\ geeks,\ the\ kind\ with\ acne\ and\ anime\ and\ weight\ problems.\ \ndo\ ya\ really\ need\ to\ resort\ to\ vulgarity\ against\ your\ own\ kind?\ \ express\ \nyour\ opinions,\ this\ country\ was\ built\ on\ those\ kind\ of\ freedoms,\ but\ take\ a\ \nchill\ pill.yes,\ i\ did\ just\ type\ that.\n%\ni\ bet\ you\ shop\ at\ thinkgeek\ you\ faggot,\ go\ jack\ off\ while\ wearing\ your\ \nbinary\ watch\ before\ you\ cry\ yourself\ to\ sleep\ in\ your\ tux\ blanket\n%\nYOU\ KNOW\ GUYS\ I\ THINK\ INSTEAD\ OF\ CAPS-LOCK,\ WE\ SHOULD\ START\ SAYING\ CAPS-LOL,\ \nBECAUSE\ IT\ CERTAINLY\ IS\ AMUSING\ WATCHING\ CERTAIN\ UPTIGHT\ INTERNET\ NERDS\ GET\ \nALL\ AGITATED\ OVER\ A\ BUNCH\ OF\ UPERCASE\ LETTERZ.\n%\nTyping\ laughter\ on\ IRC!While\ I\ understand\ that\ your\ knowledge\ of\ the\ world\ \noutside\ the\ Frances-strewn\ shards\ that,\ on\ any\ other\ day,\ would\ have\ \ncomprised\ your\ double-wide\ is\ rather,\ shall\ we\ say,\ limited\;\ Here\ in\ the\ big\ \nscary\ city\ we\ \"America\ Haters\"\ like\ to\ call\ civilization,\ there\ are\ rules\ \nthat\ govern\ behavior\ and,\ to\ put\ a\ finer\ point\ on\ it,\ internet\ humor.\ And,\ \nalthough\ one\ could\ argue\ that,\ having\ missed\ out\ on\ the\ more\ elegant\ points\ \nin\ life\ such\ as\ color\ television\ or\ refrigeration,\ that\ you\ should\ be\ \nexempted\ from\ said\ governances\ -\ I\ find\ it\ best\ to\ point\ out\ that\ ignorance\ \nof\ the\ law\ is\ no\ excuse.This\ fact,\ combined\ with\ your\ abhorent\ \nneoconservative\ indoctrination\ only\ leads\ one\ to\ conclude\ that\ your\ mental\ \nstature,\ while\ irrefutably\ suited\ towards\ a\ more\ custodial\ vocation,\ does\ \nnot\ serve\ you\ well\ here\ on\ the\ fifth-gear\ world\ of\ the\ \"information\ \nsuperhighway.\"\ Indeed,\ I\ would\ be\ remiss\ if\ I\ did\ not\ instead\ point\ you\ to\ a\ \nmore,\ shall\ we\ say,\ rewarding\ hobby\ such\ as\ admiring\ your\ reflection\ in\ the\ \nmurky\ waters\ of\ the\ local\ \"crick\"\ or,\ if\ you\ fancy,\ arguing\ with\ trees.\n%\nslitting\ open\ the\ urethra,\ cauterizing\ the\ prostrate,\ inflicting\ corporal\ \npunishment,\ blistering\ the\ penis\ with\ caustic\ acid,\ flaying\ the\ penile\ skin\ \nwith\ razor\ blades,\ sewing\ the\ prepuce\ shut\ with\ metal\ wire,\ encasing\ the\ \ngenitals\ in\ plaster\ or\ in\ lockable\ metal\ cages,\ or\ fitting\ the\ penis\ with\ \npenile\ rings\ studded\ with\ sharp\ metallic\ teeth\ to\ discourage\ erections\n%\nThe\ doctor\ performed\ fabulously\ with\ his\ textbook\ execution\ of\ a\ four-point\ \ncircumcision\ as\ he\ burst\ into\ my\ wife's\ room\ in\ the\ maternity\ ward,\ pinched\ \na\ clamp\ around\ my\ son's\ foreskin,\ and\ inserted\ an\ instrument\ between\ the\ \nforeskin\ and\ glans.\ I\ covered\ my\ ears\ as\ the\ infant's\ shrieks\ intensified,\ \nand\ the\ doctor\ was\ gracious\ enough\ to\ quickly\ tear\ the\ foreskin\ lengthwise\ \nas\ my\ little\ son's\ head\ shook\ back\ and\ forth\ ohh\ yeah\n%\nI\ can't\ believe\ I\ just\ took\ a\ shit\ in\ my\ bellman\ uniform\ at\ the\ front\ desk.\ \nWhat\ the\ fuck?\ I\ can't\ stand\ up\ and\ take\ it\ to\ the\ employee\ lounge\ because\ I\ \nam\ literally\ wading\ in\ nuggets\ of\ my\ own\ ass\ gravy.\ Any\ attempt\ at\ movement\ \nwould\ send\ this\ rancid\ post-chili\ splurting\ all\ over\ my\ wingtips\ and\ into\ \nview\ of\ every\ tranny\ prostitute\ within\ the\ hotel\ lobby.\ \ It\ doesn't\ help\ \nthat\ I've\ been\ doing\ the\ night\ audit\ all\ night!\ I\ can\ barely\ stay\ awake!\ \nWhat\ am\ I\ going\ to\ say\ to\ the\ hotel\ manager\ when\ she\ comes\ back\ from\ getting\ \nchili\ dogs\ and\ asks\ what\ I\ just\ did\ in\ the\ presence\ of\ the\ hotel\ guests?\ \nShe'll\ make\ me\ drop\ trau\ in\ front\ of\ everyone\ again.\ There\ it\ is,\ the\ 6'5\"\ \nshemale\ on\ meth\ just\ asked\ me\ if\ I\ could\ smell\ 'that'.\ I\ gotta\ go.\n%\nThis\ is\ how\ I\ calculated\ the\ how\ the\ PS3\ would\ be\ about\ 4-6X\ more\ powerful\ \nthan\ the\ current\ PS2\ according\ to\ Moore's\ law.\ Assuming\ that\ the\ clock\ speed\ \nand\ other\ performance\ metrics\ of\ the\ PS2\ stay\ relatively\ proportional,\ in\ 18\ \nmonthes\ the\ speed/power\ doubles\ to\ 600MHZ,\ in\ another\ 18\ monthes\ (2005)\ it\ \ndoubles\ to\ 1200MHZ.\ 1200\ divided\ by\ 300\ gives\ you\ 4.\ I\ added\ the\ range\ of\ \n4-6\ b/c\ I\ know\ that\ SOI\ yields\ more\ efficiency\ and\ they\ certainly\ are\ going\ \nto\ use\ more\ and\ faster\ memory...hence\ the\ range\ of\ 2.\ Either\ way,\ the\ PS3\ \nain't\ gonna\ be\ 1000X\ more\ powerful.\ You'd\ have\ to\ be\ a\ gullible\ fool\ to\ \nbelieve\ that.\n%\nWhat\ the\ fuck\ does\ that\ have\ to\ do\ with\ anyhting.\ Do\ you\ have\ a\ dick\ in\ your\ \near\ or\ something.\ i\ dont\ want\ your\ fuckin\ apology,\ I\ want\ you\ to\ just\ log\ \noff,\ stop\ fuckin\ writing\ me\ period\ and\ then\ go\ to\ your\ mothers\ room,\ eat\ her\ \nout,\ beside\ the\ drawers,\ next\ to\ the\ trash\ cans,\ and\ then\ tell\ her\ I\ \nappreicate\ her\ shaving\ my\ balls\ b/c\ its\ really\ hard\ to\ do\ it\ myself.\ Until\ \nnext\ time,\ fuck\ you\ and\ use\ your\ teeth\ to\ pick\ the\ hairs\ off\ my\ ass.\ ha\ ha.\n%\noh\ yeah\ you\ dick\ likcing\ fuck.\ you\ are\ a\ waste\ of\ sperm\ your\ mother\ should\ \nhave\ fuck\ that\ truck\ driver\ other\ than\ that\ dirty\ as\ german\ (your\ \nfather).<---(you're\ not\ smat\ enough\ to\ get\ it,\ stupid\ fuck)\ Maybe\ you\ would\ \nbe\ doing\ something\ better\ with\ you\ life\ other\ than\ argueing\ with\ me\ about\ \nposting\ meaningless\ shit.\n%\nGuess\ whoes\ back\ talking\ shit\ this\ mutha\ fuckin\ faggot\ is\ a\ mutha\ fuckin\ \nbitch\ saying\ he\ hates\ rap\ with\ a\ passion\ then\ all\ I\ got\ to\ say\ is\ fuck\ you\ \nyou\ mutha\ fuckin\ bitch\ I\ fukin\ say\ alot\ of\ curse\ words\ because\ I\ fuckin\ hate\ \nwhen\ you\ start\ hating\ on\ rap\ if\ anybody\ gots\ a\ problem\ with\ the\ way\ I\ think\ \nthen\ you\ could\ find\ a\ fuckin\ short\ peir\ and\ take\ a\ mutha\ fuckin\ walk\ I\ hope\ \nyou\ fuckin\ die\ a\ long\ and\ painful\ death\ you\ fuckin\ bitch\ later\ you\ mutha\ \nfuckin\ haters\ word\ to\ your\ mutha\ fuckin\ mutha\n%\nbefore\ yall\ bitchmade\ mutha\ fuckin\ computer\ nerds\ come\ on\ here\ talkin\ shyt\ \nlike\ u\ hard\ get\ da\ infos\ straight..da\ man\ dat\ did\ my\ site\ TOLD\ ME\ STRAIGHT\ \nOUT\ he\ did\ juice's\ site\ so\ b4\ u\ call\ me\ a\ fuckin\ biter\ get\ all\ your\ facts\ on\ \nda\ table\ u\ ignorant\ ass\ mutha\ fuckaz!!!if\ I\ MADE\ DA\ SITE\ u\ would\ have\ every\ \nright\ to\ call\ me\ a\ biter...i\ didnt\ do\ shit\ to\ dat\ site..da\ man\ contacted\ \nme..showed\ me\ juices\ site\ and\ said\ he\ did\ it...and\ then\ did\ mine\ and\ didnt\ \neven\ finish\ it\ so\ fuck\ all\ yall\ hatein\ ass\ mutha\ fuckaz!!if\ yall\ wana\ run\ \nlip\ do\ it\ face\ to\ face\ fuck\ dis\ computer\ shit..HOLLA!!\n%\nI've\ been\ into\ just\ about\ every\ car\ scene,\ truck\ scene,\ motorcycle\ scene\ and\ \nyes\ the\ import\ scene\ is\ the\ worst.\ Main\ reason\ is\ because\ we\ got\ a\ bunch\ of\ \nlittle\ pricks\ who\ drive\ around\ and\ think\ they're\ badasses\ cause\ they\ gots\ a\ \nbody\ kit\ y0\ and\ in\ all\ reality\ I\ could\ take\ on\ 10\ of\ them\ at\ the\ same\ time\ \nand\ make\ em\ cry.\ I'm\ getting\ to\ the\ point\ to\ where\ I\ don't\ even\ wanna\ go\ to\ \ncar\ meets\ anymore\ cause\ of\ all\ the\ stupid\ bullshit\ thats\ goes\ on\ and\ that\ I\ \nget\ associated\ with\ it\ cause\ I\ drive\ an\ \"import\".\ I'm\ about\ ready\ to\ go\ buy\ \nanother\ 5.0\ or\ camaro\ and\ be\ done\ with\ imports\ all\ together\ just\ so\ I'm\ NOT\ \nassociated\ with\ all\ these\ fucking\ morons\ driving\ around\ now.\ I\ drive\ my\ \nGrand\ Cherokee\ all\ over\ the\ place\ and\ I\ always\ have\ other\ Jeep\ owners\ wave\ \nat\ me.\n%\ntake\ this\ short\ quiz\ to\ see\ if\ u\ qualify\ to\ meet\ me:\ ugly?\ stupid?\ mean?\ \nghetto?\ non\ english\ speaking?\ not\ from\ ohio?\ if\ u\ answer\ yes\ to\ any\ of\ the\ \nabove,\ don't\ click\ to\ meet\ me\ cuz\ i\ hate\ all\ of\ the\ above\ :)\n%\nIt's\ not\ so\ much\ that\ I\ hate\ anime,\ well\ I\ do\ its\ utter\ shit,\ but\ that's\ not\ \ntoo\ bad\ because\ the\ world\ would\ be\ boring\ if\ we\ all\ liked\ the\ same\ thing.\ \nAnyway\ what\ really\ gets\ to\ me\ is\ anime\ fans\ or\ 'otakus'\ as\ they\ have\ dubbed\ \nthemselves.\ They\ think\ that\ liking\ anime\ makes\ them\ superior\ to\ those\ who\ \ndon't,\ they\ think\ that\ if\ someone\ does\ not\ like\ anime\ it\ means\ they\ are\ too\ \nstupid\ to\ understand\ it\ and\ they\ worship\ Japan.\ There\ ongoing\ obsession\ with\ \nJapan\ makes\ me\ want\ to\ kill\ myself,\ they\ all\ want\ to\ learn\ japanese\ and\ move\ \nto\ Japan\ to\ be\ an\ anime\ artist.\ They\ insist\ on\ speaking\ in\ broken\ Japanese\ \nall\ the\ time,\ trying\ to\ show\ off\ to\ there\ fellow\ anime\ losers\ just\ how\ much\ \nthey\ know\ and\ they\ get\ offended\ if\ you\ say\ a\ slight\ word\ against\ Japan.\ They\ \nalso\ have\ an\ obsessin\ with\ gay\ people\ and\ yell\ and\ scream\ whenever\ they\ see\ \none,\ they\ say\ that\ gay\ people\ should\ be\ treated\ the\ same\ as\ straight\ people\ \nyet\ i\ don't\ see\ then\ shout\ and\ scream\ when\ they\ see\ a\ straight\ couple\ do\ \nyou?\ No,\ they\ only\ reason\ they\ love\ gay\ people\ is\ becasue\ they\ are\ desperate\ \nto\ show\ the\ world\ how\ openmided\ they\ are\ and\ they\ just\ wait\ for\ someone\ to\ \nsomething\ like\ 'thats\ so\ gay'\ so\ that\ they\ have\ have\ a\ 3\ hour\ discussion\ \nabout\ it.I\ myself\ don't\ have\ anything\ against\ gays\ but\ to\ be\ honest\ i\ don't\ \nreally\ think\ about\ it.\ I\ could\ go\ on\ for\ hours\ but\ I\ can't\ be\ botherd\ just\ \nknow\ one\ thing\ Anime\ couldn't\ be\ crapper\ if\ it\ tried.\n%\nI\ don't\ know\ about\ you\ guys,\ but\ knowing\ that\ gay\ marriage\ exists\ here\ now\ \nhas\ hurt\ marriage.\ Whenever\ I\ try\ and\ fuck\ my\ wife,\ all\ I\ can\ think\ about\ is\ \ntwo\ sweaty,\ heaving\ male\ bodies\ joined\ together\ in\ government\ sanctioned\ \ndisgusting\ decadent\ man\ sex\ with\ large\ calloused\ hands\ grasping\ and\ moist\ \ngasping\ lips\ joined\ with\ giant\ throbbing\ cocks\ ohh\ yeah\n%\nNO\ I\ SAY\ PEOPLE\ LIKE\ YOU\ HAVE\ SMALL\ DICKS\ COS\ YOU\ DO\ BUTT\ MUNCH\ YOU\ DONT\ \nEVEN\ HAVE\ A\ NAME\ YOU\ SAD\ FUCK\ PISS\ OFF\ NO\ ONE\ WANTS\ YOU\ HERE\ ON\ THE\ PLACE\ OR\ \nIN\ THE\ WORLD\ YOU\ FUCKING\ JEW\ NERD\ HITLER\ SHOULD\ HAVE\ KILLED\ YOU\ FUCKING\ ASS\ \nYEARS\ AGO\ AND\ THE\ REASON\ YOUR\ PISSED\ OFF\ IS\ COS\ THE\ TRUTH\ HURTS\ YOU\ WHY\ DONT\ \nYOU\ GO\ BACK\ TO\ WEARING\ A\ PINK\ DRESS\ AND\ BEING\ FUCKED\ BY\ YOUR\ UNCLE\ YOU\ \nLIITLE\ DRAG\ QUEEN\ GO\ TAKE\ YOUR\ FAGGOT\ SELF\ AND\ JUMP\ OFF\ A\ CLIFF\ SMARTGIRL\ IS\ \nBETTER\ THEN\ YOU\ WILL\ EVER\ BE\ YOU\ ARE\ NOTHING\ AND\ FOREVER\ BE\ NOTHING\ LATER\ \nGEEK\n%\nI,\ for\ one,\ feel\ that\ Fox\ TV\ has\ gone\ too\ far\ with\ their\ programming\ \nexcesses.\ Have\ you\ seen\ their\ new\ show,\ the\ X-Files?\ It's\ simply\ ludicrous!\ \nI\ mean,\ demonic\ possession?\ Aliens?\ Come\ on,\ that's\ ridiculous!\ But\ the\ \nworst\ thing\ is\ that\ it\ implies\ our\ government\ lies\ to\ us!\ Hey,\ Sergeant\ \nMuldower:\ This\ is\ America.\ Love\ it,\ or\ leave\ it!\n%\nHAHAHAHAHA\ FOOL\ YOU\ COUNTRY\ WAS\ FOR\ CONVICTS\ TO\ THEY\ ONLY\ THING\ THAT\ WAS\ \nDIFFERENT\ IS\ ALL\ YOU\ FUCKS\ HAD\ IT\ SO\ BAD\ YOU\ GOT\ CRANKY\ AND\ HAD\ A\ WAR\ OF\ \nINDEPENCE\ COS\ THE\ BRITISH\ WERE\ ABUSING\ YOUR\ ASSES\ HEY\ AND\ YOUR\ COUNTRYS\ A\ \nREST\ ROOM\ FOR\ MEXICANS\ LEAST\ I\ DO\ SOMETHING\ ABOUT\ OUR\ PROBLEM\ WHAT\ DO\ YOU\ DO\ \nABOUT\ MEXICANS\ THATS\ RIGHT\ NOTHING\ COS\ YOUR\ A\ CHICKEN\ SHIT\ WHAT\ DO\ YOU\ CARE\ \nIF\ YOUR\ WOMEN\ LOOK\ GOOD\ YOUR\ GAY\ AND\ THATS\ WHY\ WE\ ARE\ NOT\ ALL\ FAT\ CO\n%\nfor\ all\ of\ you\ non\ believers.\ please\ just\ answer\ 1\ question\ 4\ me.\ If\ God\ \ndidnt\ exist\ then\ how\ did\ the\ earth\ get\ here.You\ will\ probably\ come\ up\ with\ \nsome\ answer\ like\ ,\ a\ bunch\ ef\ gas\ and\ dust\ and\ a\ star\ formed\ the\ earth.\ but\ \nif\ all\ that\ is\ true\ then\ hoe\ did\ that\ gas\ and\ dust\ get\ here.\ i\ am\ a\ \nChristain\ and\ i\ encurage\ you\ all\ to\ be\ 1\ aswell.\ You\ will\ be\ much\ happie,\ \ntake\ it\ from\ a\ kid\ that\ knows\n%\nASIANS\ FUCKING\ SUCK\ THERE\ EVERY\ WHERE\ DOWN\ IN\ SYDNEY\ FUCKING\ OVEL\ EYED\ \nGOOKS.\ WENT\ DOWN\ TO\ CHINA\ TOWN\ 2\ WEEKS\ AGO\ BASHED\ A\ COUPLE\ OF\ THE\ \nDICKHEADS.THE\ PROBLEM\ IS\ THEY\ BREED\ LIKE\ RABBITS\ THEY\ JUST\ GO\ ROUND\ FUCKING,\ \nSPITTING\ OUT\ BABYS\ AND\ SPREADING\ THEIR\ CHICKEN\ FLU\ AROUND\ DAMN\ FILTHY\ \nASIANS.\ 88\ HAIL\ HITLER\ SKINHEADS\ FOREVER\n%\nTO\ THAT\ PISS\ ANT\ COWARD\ FUCK\ COS\ I'M\ NOT\ A\ PATRIOTIC\ AMERICAN\ YOU\ NIGGER\ \nLOVER\ I'M\ A\ PATRIOT\ TO\ WHITE\ SUPREMACY\ YOU\ SMELLY\ TURD.\ YEAH\ AND\ I'D\ LIKE\ TO\ \nSEE\ YOU\ TRY\ AND\ KILL\ ME\ YOU\ CANDY\ ASS\ FUCK\ WHAT\ ARE\ YOU\ GONNA\ DO\ BEAT\ ME\ TO\ \nDEATH\ WITH\ YOUR\ HANDBAG.\ I'M\ A\ SKINHEAD\ YOU\ FOOL\ I'VE\ HAD\ MORE\ FIGHTS\ THEN\ \nYOU'VE\ HAD\ HOT\ DINNERS.\ STUPID\ FAG\ SO\ SHUT\ THE\ FUCK\ UP\ OR\ I'LL\ PUT\ YOU\ TO\ \nWORK\ ON\ MY\ COTTON\ FARM\n%\nFUCK\ YOU\ FATSO\ YEAH\ YOU\ CAN\ TALK\ SHIT\ BEHIND\ YOU\ COMPUTER\ YOU\ FAT\ NERD.\ IF\ I\ \nEVER\ SEE\ YOU\ IN\ THE\ STREET\ I'M\ GONNA\ STAB\ YOU\ IN\ THE\ FACE\ WITH\ MY\ HITLER\ \nYOUTH\ KNIFE\ YOU\ STUPID\ CHEESEBURGER\ CHEEKS\ THEN\ YOU'LL\ FALL\ TO\ THR\ GROUND\ \nAND\ CRY\ LIKE\ A\ LITTLE\ BITCH\ STUPID\ LITTLE\ RICH\ VAG\ YOU\ DUMBASS\ SKINHEADS\ \nCOME\ FROM\ MANY\ DIFFERNT\ BACKGROUNDS\ RICH,\ POOR,\ MIDDLE\ CLASS\ ALTHO\ I\ \nWOULDN'T\ ACCEPT\ A\ PANSY\ ASS\ SKIRT\ LIKE\ YOU\ INTO\ MY\ GANG\n%\nfuck\ asians\ I\ am\ from\ flushing\ queens\ newyork\ and\ I'm\ pissed\ the\ fuck\ off\ \nbecause\ ugly\ inferior\ orientals\ are\ taking\ over\ my\ home\ town\ of\ flushing\ \nputting\ up\ prices\ on\ houses\ and\ speaking\ there\ ugly\ chinese\ languages.\ \norientals\ ARE\ not\ smart\ that's\ a\ fucking\ myth.\ orientals\ will\ NEVER\ be\ \nwhite.\ p.s.\ DROP\ DEAD\ INFERIOR\ ORIENTALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\n%\nas\ far\ as\ i\ can\ tell,\ mexico\ sucks.\ \ i've\ never\ been\ there,\ but\ i\ have\ \nmexican\ neighbors.\ \ they\ suck.\ \ 15\ of\ them\ live\ in\ one\ house.\ \ only\ one\ of\ \nthem\ has\ a\ job.\ \ the\ rest\ collect\ welfare.\ \ one\ of\ them\ was\ even\ arrested\ \nfor\ molesting\ a\ 12\ year\ old\ girl.\ \ funny\ thing\ is,\ i\ took\ a\ dump\ on\ their\ \nporch.\ \ i'm\ pretty\ sure\ i\ saw\ one\ of\ them\ watching\ me.\ \ i\ wiped\ my\ ass\ with\ \ntheir\ news\ paper\ and\ jammed\ it\ in\ the\ mailbox.\ \ they\ suck\ anyways.\ \ which\ is\ \nwhy\ mexico\ sucks.\n%\ncongratulations\ on\ getting\ modded\ up\ you\ simpering\ idiot!\ maybe\ with\ all\ \nthat\ infamy\ you\ can\ convince\ a\ geek\ surgeon\ to\ remove\ some\ ribs\ so\ you\ can\ \nsuck\ on\ your\ own\ nub\ penis\ you\ fucking\ faggot!!!\n%\nI\ pray\ to\ the\ wonderful\ Lord\ Jesus\ Our\ Saviour\ and\ thank\ Lord\ God\ in\ the\ \nHighest\ Heaven\ for\ all\ the\ beauty\ and\ love\ in\ the\ world\ every\ time\ I\ fuck\ a\ \nnun\ with\ a\ glass-covered\ bone-carved\ \ dildo.\ Tear\ that\ dry\ and\ wrinkled\ \npunani!\n%\nObjectivism\ is\ nothing\ but\ selfishness\ with\ a\ philosophical\ bumper\ sticker\ \nstuck\ on\ its\ ass\ that\ somehow\ purports\ to\ elevate\ it\ to\ respectability.\ \nObjectivism\ will\ succeed\ as\ soon\ as\ human\ nature\ is\ purged\ of\ empathy,\ \nsympathy,\ love\ for\ one's\ family,\ love\ for\ one's\ community,\ love\ for\ humanity\ \nitself.\ In\ other\ words,\ never.The\ only\ people\ who\ take\ this\ shit\ seriously\ \nare\ earnest\ but\ naive\ college\ students\ with\ too\ much\ philosophy\ classes\ \nunder\ their\ belt\ and\ no\ real\ life\ experience,\ 40-something\ assholes\ behind\ \non\ their\ alimony\ payments,\ and\ nutjobs\ who\ horde\ guns\ in\ the\ woods\ and\ \nconsider\ themselves\ to\ be\ part\ of\ the\ minutement\ militia,\ 2\ centuries\ \nhence.Objectivism\ has\ as\ much\ a\ tenuous\ hold\ on\ reality\ as\ the\ KKK\ and\ \nneonazi\ skinheads.\ They\ deserve\ our\ attention\ as\ much\ as\ the\ mating\ habits\ \nof\ dung\ beetles.\ Oh\ yeah,\ I\ forgot,\ Ayn\ Rand\ is\ selfish\ racist\ classist\ \nelitist\ bitch.\ Am\ I\ making\ an\ impression\ on\ you\ here,\ you\ fruitcakes?Stay\ in\ \nthe\ woods\ and\ spout\ your\ ignorant\ mumbo-jumbo,\ the\ real\ world\ doesn't\ need\ \nyou.\ we'll\ take\ your\ selfish\ asocial\ bullshit\ seriously\ when\ hell\ freezes\ \nover.\n%\nI\ work\ at\ a\ University\ IT\ helpdesk,\ and\ after\ far\ too\ many\ malware\ problems\ \nfrom\ far\ too\ many\ dumb\ lusers\ (and\ many\ of\ them\ repeat\ visits),\ I've\ adopted\ \na\ new\ policy.If\ a\ student\ or\ member\ of\ faculty\ comes\ in\ with\ malware\ \nproblems\ for\ the\ first\ time,\ I\ fix\ it\ for\ them\ and\ I\ give\ them\ a\ Gentoo\ \nLinux\ install\ CD\ to\ go\ away\ with.\ If\ they\ come\ back\ with\ viruses/spyware\ a\ \nsecond\ time,\ I\ tell\ the\ luser\ to\ stop\ bothering\ me,\ and\ that\ I\ gave\ them\ the\ \nsolution\ to\ install\ last\ time.\ Linux\ is\ an\ OS\ immune\ to\ these\ kinds\ of\ \nproblems.\n%\nAnyone\ think\ jews\ are\ really\ hot?\ Especially\ rabbis!\ Those\ greasy\ curls\ send\ \nme\ wild.Sadly\ there's\ no\ jews\ in\ my\ region\ of\ the\ desert,\ so\ camels\ have\ to\ \ndo.\n%\nmexicans\ are\ lazy??\ umm\ no\ we\ are\ theopposite\ of\ lazy.\ we\ are\ taking\ \noverthis\ country\ and\ you\ white\ americans\ andblack\ americans\ people\ are\ not\ \ndoinganything\ about\ it.all\ yall\ do\ is\ say\"fuking\ wetbacks\ go\ back\ to\ \nhomecountry\"\ or\ \"you\ taking\ our\ jobs,,\ nowwe\ are\ unemployed\"\ you\ know\ what\ \nboo\ hooyou\ call\ us\ stupid\ or\ whatever,\ butatleast\ we\ know\ how\ to\ get\ a\ \njob.if\ youask\ me\ you\ americans\ are\ the\ lazy\ people.\n%\nWomen\ are\ too\ fragile.\ \ The\ mere\ suggestion\ of\ being\ able\ to\ play\ a\ female\ \ncharacter\ in\ Doom\ 3\ is\ laughable.\ Well,\ I\ guess\ you\ could\ play\ as\ a\ maid\ or\ \ncook.\ At\ least\ that\ would\ be\ just\ about\ as\ boring\ as\ the\ current\ \nstoryline.It\ has\ been\ proven\ in\ many\ scientific\ studies\ that\ women\ are\ \ninferior\ to\ men.\ This\ is\ why\ women\ are\ deservingly\ payed\ less\ for\ doing\ the\ \nsame\ work\ as\ a\ man.\ The\ only\ valuable\ skills\ a\ woman\ can\ ever\ hope\ to\ learn\ \nare\ cooking\ and\ cleaning.\ Men\ are\ too\ busy\ with\ important\ business\ dealings\ \nto\ worry\ about\ cooking\ and\ cleaning\ for\ themselves.History\ is\ littered\ with\ \nevidence\ of\ this.\ For\ instance,\ Joan\ of\ Arc\ led\ an\ army\ on\ the\ battlefield,\ \nonly\ to\ be\ subsequently\ raped,\ tortured,\ and\ killed.\ In\ the\ Bible\ (the\ word\ \nof\ God),\ Eve\ was\ tricked\ into\ eating\ the\ forbidden\ fruit\ because\ she\ was\ \nweak-minded.\ Many\ men\ said\ that\ a\ woman\ could\ never\ fly\ around\ the\ world\ \nalone.\ Amelia\ Earhart\ proved\ they\ were\ right.At\ least\ the\ countries\ in\ the\ \nMiddle\ East\ have\ their\ priorities\ straight.\ Their\ women\ are\ not\ allowed\ to\ \ngo\ to\ school,\ hold\ jobs,\ and\ in\ some\ cases\ they\ are\ not\ even\ allowed\ outside\ \nwithout\ a\ male\ escort.\ That's\ how\ it\ should\ be\ here.\ Women\ should\ be\ treated\ \nas\ property\ of\ men.\ In\ the\ future,\ I\ think\ there\ will\ no\ longer\ be\ printed\ \nor\ coined\ currency.\ Instead,\ we\ will\ walk\ the\ streets\ with\ a\ couple\ women\ \naround\ our\ arms\ and\ trade\ them\ for\ various\ goods\ and\ services.In\ conclusion,\ \ngo\ the\ kitchen\ and\ make\ me\ a\ sandwich.\n%\nfuck\ all\ this\ elexctronic\ shit.\ Give\ me\ a\ typewriter,\ a\ pushbutton\ \ntelephone,\ and\ a\ bank\ of\ teletype\ machines\ with\ yellow\ paper.\ Then\ you\ could\ \nmake\ sense\ of\ this\ crap\n%\nNow,\ if\ i\ were\ ever\ to\ meet\ one\ of\ you\ people\ who\ flames\ me\ in\ real\ life,\ \nlet's\ just\ say\ thine\ attitude\ might\ change\ a\ little.\ Ive\ studied\ tae\ kwon\ do\ \nfor\ 4\ years,\ and\ studied\ kung\ fu\ as\ a\ young\ child.\ I\ am\ going\ to\ take\ up\ \njudo\ soon,\ and\ also\ casually\ jeet\ kune\ do.\ I\ lift\ weights\ every\ day,\ and\ \nhave\ been\ in\ a\ fight\ before,\ and\ won.\ That's\ the\ thing,\ that\ behind\ the\ \ninternet\ you\ can\ say\ whatever\ you\ like\ to\ me,\ but\ you\ know\ what?\ Im\ secure\ \nin\ the\ fact\ that\ i\ am\ popular\ in\ my\ circle\ of\ friends\ in\ real\ life,\ and\ dont\ \nneed\ to\ be\ accepted\ in\ some\ faggot\ forum\ to\ boost\ my\ self\ esteem,\ i\ am\ also\ \nconfident\ that\ i\ could\ kick\ most\ of\ thine\ asses\ in\ real\ life,\ so\ what\ do\ i\ \ncare?\n%\nOk\ Im\ New\ To\ This\ I\ Posted\ One\ Picture\ Of\ Me\ On\ My\ Website\ And\ Now\ Im\ Trying\ \nTo\ Post\ Another\ But\ All\ I\ Do\ Stay\ In\ The\ Log\ AndIt\ Says\ Uploading\ Picute\ May\ \nTake\ A\ Few\ Seconds\ Then\ I\ Check\ My\ Site\ And\ Nothing\ No\ Posts\ Or\ Anything\ \nSomeone\ Please\ Help\n%\nYes\ I\ do\ like\ the\ Muslim\ Girls\ also.\ They\ get\ me\ very\ JIHARD.\n%\nOne\ time\ at\ camp,\ well\ let\ me\ just\ get\ to\ the\ point,\ It\ was\ 3am\ and\ I\ heard\ \nthe\ cabin\ door\ open\ and\ all\ the\ other\ boys\ leave.\ Then\ all\ of\ a\ sudden\ i\ was\ \nbeing\ anally\ rampaged\ by\ Mr.Sunny,\ the\ counselor.\ He\ kept\ pillaging\ my\ raw\ \nanus\ until\ it\ bled.\ Needless\ to\ say,\ I\ still\ have\ a\ fear\ of\ campfires.\n%\nYou\ know\ what's\ keeping\ the\ black\ man\ black,\ in\ addition\ to\ that\ attitude,\ \nand\ that\ erstwhile\ PBS\ miniseries?\ It's\ affirmative\ action,\ fatty\ foods,\ \ncheap\ alcohol,\ tasteless\ jewelry,\ and\ Kwanzaa.\ And\ of\ course,\ the\ worst\ \nculprit.\ Niggers.\n%\nOK\ WELL\ ONE\ TIME\ I\ WAS\ DRIVING\ A\ STOLEN\ POLICE\ CAR\ AND\ I\ HAD\ A\ SYRINGE\ \nHANGING\ OUT\ OF\ MY\ NECK\ VEIN\ AND\ I\ HAD\ A\ FUCKING\ HOOKAH\ IN\ MY\ LAP\ AND\ 3\ \nDISMEMBERED\ CORPSES\ IN\ THE\ PASSENGER\ SEAT\ AND\ I\ WAS\ BASSING\ AND\ I\ TOTALLY\ \nRAMPED\ MY\ CAR\ AND\ BLEW\ UP\ THE\ SPACE\ SHUTTLE\ CHALLENGER\n%\nby\ the\ way\ i\ can'\ tsee\ a\ word\ your\ saying\ so\ if\ you're\ laughing\ at\ your\ own\ \ncomments\ in\ vain\ mr.\ wantin\ to\ complain\ about\ an\ ego\ mother\ fucker,\ then\ \nyou're\ really\ truly\ laughing\ at\ your\ very\ own\ comments\ in\ vain\ of\ YOU\n%\nMuslim\ babes\ turn\ me\ on.\ Those\ one's\ who\ dress\ entierly\ in\ a\ black\ bedsheet\ \nhead\ to\ toe.\ I\ want\ to\ squirt\ right\ into\ the\ eye-slot.\n%\nFact:\ The\ word\ \"mizer\",\ traditionally\ meaning\ a\ one\ who\ is\ excessively\ \nfrugal,\ was\ originally\ short\ for\ \"sodomizer\".\ This\ is\ because\ in\ the\ 18th\ \ncentury\ it\ was\ routine,\ and\ even\ expected,\ that\ the\ Comptroller\ of\ a\ \nbusiness\ would\ punish\ wastefulness\ by\ engaging\ in\ mandatory\ buggery.\n%\nI\ like\ terrorists\ who\ use\ bombs,\ especially\ nailbombs.\ And\ let\ me\ tell\ you\ \nwhy.\ I\ was\ once\ a\ victim\ of\ a\ nailbomb\ attack\ and\ a\ searing\ white-hot\ nail\ \nhappened\ to\ go\ right\ up\ my\ japseye,\ welding\ itself\ to\ flesh.\ It\ was\ so\ good.\n%\nThe\ Jerk-Off\ Walk\ :\ \ Drop\ that\ trau\ right\ to\ your\ feet.\ \ Thrust\ your\ hips\ \nand\ beat\ your\ meat.\ \ Squelch\ and\ splurt\ go\ your\ oily\ cock.\ \ Leave\ the\ house\ \nfor\ a\ jerk-off\ walk.\ \ Strolling\ the\ streets\ while\ you're\ slapping\ your\ dong.\ \n\ It\ feels\ so\ good\ it\ can't\ be\ wrong.\ Here\ comes\ your\ neighbor,\ eyes\ askew.\ \ \nYou\ saunter\ on\ up\ and\ ask,\ What's\ new?\ \ A\ hand\ on\ your\ shaft\ and\ a\ hand\ \noutstretched,\ your\ neighbor\ made\ a\ gagging\ sound\ and\ promptly\ retched.\ Since\ \nwhen\ is\ a\ stroke\ against\ the\ law?\ \ You\ say\ as\ you\ start\ to\ fiddle\ with\ her\ \nbra.\ \ And\ there\ you\ start,\ right\ on\ the\ sidewalk.\ \ The\ morning\ rape's\ begun,\ \nother\ pedestrians\ gawk.\ She\ screams\ and\ hollers\ so\ you\ punch\ her\ face.\ \ Who\ \ncares\ if\ she\ dies?\ She's\ of\ the\ nigger\ race!\ \ Your\ cock\ already\ stiff\ begins\ \nto\ invade,\ and\ you\ twist\ nips\ proper\ like\ Marquis\ de\ Sade!\ Pullin\ out\ quick,\ \nand\ you\ spurt\ in\ her\ eye.\ \ Standing\ and\ you\ kick,\ right\ between\ the\ thighs.\ \ \nThe\ bitch\ is\ all\ mangled\ and\ your\ cum\ is\ all\ spent.\ \ Your\ pants,\ at\ the\ \napartment,\ your\ soft\ cock:\ bent.\ Now\ the\ task\ is\ done\ and\ it's\ time\ to\ head\ \nback.\ \ Your\ tired\ wang\ hangs\ like\ a\ rope\ so\ slack.\ \ The\ nigger\ curled\ up\ in\ \na\ ball\ so\ tight,\ you\ smile\ as\ you\ think:\ This\ shit's\ done\ right.\ I\ hope\ you\ \nenjoyed\ my\ anthem\ true.\ \ Now\ best\ of\ luck\ and\ fortune,\ love,\ Mega\ Man\ II\n%\n\"LOCUSTS\ INVADE\ HOLY\ LAND...\"\ was\ a\ deceiving\ web\ link.\ \ When\ I\ first\ saw\ \nit,\ I\ thought\ to\ myself:\ \"Whoa\ -\ Locusts\ in\ Vatican\ City?\ \ I've\ got\ to\ check\ \nthis\ out!\"\ \ Unfortunately\ the\ \"Holy\ Land\"\ described\ in\ the\ link\ described\ -\ \nget\ this\ -\ Israel.\ \ Is\ there\ nothing\ those\ cursed\ jews\ won't\ do\ to\ get\ \nattention?\n%\nGuys,\ the\ funniest\ thing\ about\ linux\ is\ that\ the\ average\ linux\ user\ spends\ \nfrom\ 50-75%\ of\ his\ (and\ I\ use\ the\ pronoun\ literally,\ because\ let's\ face\ it\;\ \nwomen\ just\ have\ more\ common\ sense)\ computing\ time\ configuring\ and\ \ntroubleshooting\ his\ operating\ system\ just\ to\ get\ it\ to\ run.\ Come\ on\ you\ \ndolts.\ I\ know\ you're\ short\ a\ chromosome\ but\ does\ it\ take\ a\ vagina\ to\ figure\ \nout\ that\ this\ is\ just\ stupid\ ?\ Do\ yourself\ a\ favor,\ put\ on\ a\ clean\ shirt,\ \nget\ a\ copy\ of\ windows\ xp,\ and\ spend\ that\ time\ at\ the\ gym\ instead\ of\ \ncompiling\ your\ kernel\ endlessly.\ You'd\ be\ surprised\ how\ many\ women\ don't\ \nnotice\ your\ complete\ lack\ of\ social\ skills!\n%\nThe\ Chub\ Chant:\ Rub\ a\ Dub\ Chubs\ Three\ Plumpers\ in\ Tubs\ -\ Watch\ them\ Squirm\ \nas\ they\ Wash\ Their\ Nubs\ -\ Delight\ in\ the\ Sight\ of\ their\ Big\ Juicy\ Butts\ -\ \nAnd\ the\ Sudzy\ Soap\ loving\ Slippery\ Fat\ Sluts\ -\ Cum\ Take\ a\ Dip\ in\ Our\ Super\ \nSized\ Tub\ -\ And\ Sing\ with\ us\ Rubba\ Dub\ Chub.\n%\nMy\ favorite\ episode\ of\ Family\ Matters\ was\ when\ Steve\ locked\ Laura\ up\ as\ a\ \njoke.\ He\ stood\ near\ the\ vault\ excited\ at\ what\ he\ had\ done.\ He\ pressed\ his\ \ncheek\ against\ the\ metal,\ feeling\ the\ coolness\ and\ the\ tiny\ thumps\ on\ the\ \ndoor\ as\ Laura\ pounded\ for\ her\ life.\ Laura's\ screams\ were\ deep\ and\ guttural.\ \nSteve\ felt\ their\ vibration\ against\ his\ groin\ as\ he\ pressed\ against\ the\ door.\ \nAroused\ by\ the\ power\ of\ life\ and\ death,\ he\ exposed\ himself\ and\ masturbated\ \nas\ he\ listened\ to\ Laura's\ screams.\ His\ eyes\ glazed\ in\ ecstasy\ as\ he\ chewed\ \non\ his\ lower\ lip\ and\ jerked\ vigorously\ to\ his\ ultimate\ climax.\n%\nHey\ guys,\ did\ you\ ever\ consider\ what\ would\ happen\ if\ Star\ Trek\ perchance\ \nwaged\ war\ with\ Star\ Wars?\ Who\ do\ you\ think\ might\ win\ such\ a\ conflict\ and\ why?\n%\nwhy\ dont\ you\ install\ a\ real\ OS\ and\ make\ some\ room\ in\ your\ head\ using\ the\ \nspace\ you\ have\ to\ devote\ to\ remembering\ the\ 100000\ ways\ to\ parse\ a\ text\ file\ \nin\ linux\ (with\ zero\ ways\ to\ get\ any\ actual\ work\ done)\n%\nthis\ ignore\ list\ is\ for\ losers,\ boozers,\ those\ boring\ and\ self-whoring\ and\ \nfolks\ unwilling\ to\ represent\ memories\ of\ Tupac\ and\ keep\ the\ dream\ of\ the\ \nBlack\ Planet\ alive.\n%\nI\ have\ looked\ at\ much\ gay\ porno\ and\ gotten\ no\ erections\ or\ arousal.\ I\ find\ \nit\ amusing.\ Gay\ culture\ on\ a\ whole\ I\ find\ grand,\ gays\ are\ often\ snobbish\ and\ \nexcellent\ physical\ specimens\ which\ I\ find\ very\ admirable.\n%\nApparently\ everyone\ is\ up\ in\ arms\ about\ this\ new\ racist\ Six\ Flags\ Atlanta\ \nride,\ they\ say\ it\ negatively\ portrays\ african\ americans.\ I\ guess\ the\ name\ is\ \na\ little\ bit\ insensitive.\ They\ call\ it\ the\ 'Nigger\ Experience'\ and\ the\ ride\ \nis:\ when\ you\ get\ in\ the\ parking\ lot\ at\ the\ end\ of\ the\ day,\ you\ realize\ that\ \nniggers\ have\ broken\ into\ your\ car\ and\ stolen\ your\ stereo.\ I\ don't\ know\ what\ \nto\ think.\n%\nCoon\ Tune\ :\ There\ exists\ a\ people\ called\ the\ Shitskins.\ They're\ only\ fit\ for\ \nstuffing\ cotton\ into\ bins.\ You\ might\ say\ \"Hey\ thats\ crass!\"\ ,\ but\ you\ can\ \nshove\ it\ in\ your\ nigger\ lovin'\ ass.\ I\ do\ believe\ that\ God\ set\ it\ up\ this\ \nway,\ slaves\ for\ working,and\ a\ partner\ with\ which\ to\ be\ gay.\ Thats\ right,\ you\ \nheard\ it\ here\ first,\ I\ love\ my\ gay\ nigger\ slaves,\ signed\ Fred\ Durst\n%\nKING\ GOLDI\ SIGNS\ WITH\ DICKSUCKERS\ INC\ and\ NOW\ LOOKING\ TO\ SIGN\ ALSO\ WITH\ \nFAGGOTS\ SOUTH!!!!!!\ PLAYA\ FLY\ IS\ LOOKING\ TO\ SIGN\ WITH\ SEMENLOVERS!...MEMPHIS\ \nNYGGAZ\ BOUT\ TO\ COME\ OUTA\ THE\ CLOSET..THIS\ IS\ WHAT\ THE\ INDUSTRY\ NEED\ FROM\ THE\ \nSOUTH...REAL\ FAGGOTS!\n%\nGotta\ Crap\ Rap:\ Poo\ knockin\ on\ the\ door,\ My\ rectum\ can't\ hold\ it\ no\ more.\ \ I\ \nfirmly\ clench\ to\ keep\ it\ inside,\ but\ there's\ no\ defense\ for\ this\ poopy\ tide.\ \n\ My\ tighty\ whities\ stained\ with\ ass\ sweat,\ my\ quivering\ asshole\ hasn't\ given\ \nin\ yet.\ Holy\ shit\ I\ just\ felt\ a\ spurt,\ this\ is\ a\ disaster\ I\ could\ not\ avert.\n%\nFUCK\ U!!!!!\ I\ WILL\ FIND\ U\ AND\ KILL\ U\ A\ HUNDRED\ TIMES\ SEVEN!!!!!\ U\ CAN\ COUNT\ \nTHE\ DAYS\ ON\ UR\ HANDS\ THAT\ U\ HAVE\ TO\ LIVE\ BEFORE\ I\ SLAY\ YOU\ IN\ THE\ STREETS\ \nAND\ BUTCHER\ U\ LIKE\ A\ CATTLE!!!!!!\ NO\ ONE\ DARES\ TO\ DO\ DISGRACE\ ME\ AS\ U\ \nHAVE!!!!\ WATCH\ UR\ BACK,\ FOR\ I\ COME\ WITH\ MURDER\ ON\ MY\ BREATH!!!!!!\n%\nPut\ on\ your\ party\ hats,\ its\ four\ more\ years\ of\ no\ legal\ pot,\ no\ stem\ cells,\ \nabandoning\ abortion,\ tons\ o'\ guns,\ throat\ choking\ pollution,\ Big\ Brother\ \nmonitoring\ your\ every\ internet\ move,\ and\ best\ of\ all\ --\ thousands\ more\ of\ \nyour\ copatriots\ will\ die\ needlessly\ on\ foreign\ soil!\n%\nI\ can't\ believe\ John\ Kerry\ just\ took\ a\ shit\ in\ his\ power\ suit\ at\ the\ podium.\ \nWhat\ the\ fuck?\ He\ can't\ walk\ off\ and\ take\ it\ to\ the\ portalet,\ because\ he's\ \nstanding\ in\ feces-filled\ underwear\ at\ this\ very\ moment.\ Any\ change\ in\ his\ \nstanding\ position\ will\ send\ his\ poo\ spilling\ down\ his\ legs\ and\ into\ view\ of\ \nevery\ voter\ within\ 30\ feet\ of\ him.\ There\ is\ no\ way\ he\ can\ play\ this\ off\ as\ a\ \nfart.\ It\ doesn't\ help\ at\ all\ that\ he's\ been\ on\ the\ trail\ for\ 3\ months.\ He\ \ncan\ hardly\ stand\ up\ straight!\ How\ is\ he\ possibly\ going\ to\ explain\ this\ to\ \nhis\ wife\ Theresa\ Heinz-Kerry\ when\ she\ comes\ back\ from\ getting\ ketchup\ to\ ask\ \nhim\ what\ the\ fuck\ he\ just\ did\ in\ the\ presence\ of\ his\ supporters?\ She'll\ make\ \nhim\ drop\ trau\ in\ front\ of\ everyone\ again.\ There\ it\ is.\ The\ undecided\ voter\ \nstanding\ below\ the\ podium\ to\ the\ right\ of\ him\ just\ asked\ if\ anyone\ could\ \nsmell\ 'that'.\ He's\ gotta\ go.\n%\nI've\ gone\ and\ done\ it\ again.\ \ After\ shitting\ on\ the\ toilet\ seat\ I\ took\ a\ dab\ \nof\ crap\ and\ worked\ it\ into\ my\ hair.\ \ Now\ my\ bald\ spot\ is\ a\ uniform\ brown\ \nalong\ with\ the\ rest\ of\ my\ hair.\ \ I\ mussed\ up\ my\ hair\ enough\ for\ it\ to\ look\ \nplausible.\ \ I'm\ back\ in\ the\ conference\ room\ now\ and\ no\ one\ is\ willing\ to\ \nmeet\ my\ gaze.\ \ I\ have\ to\ clench\ my\ stomach\ to\ keep\ from\ vomiting.\ \ My\ penis\ \nthrobs\ with\ an\ intense\ erection.\n%\nSitting\ at\ the\ beach\ takin'\ a\ nap\ ,\ didnt\ notice\ my\ bowels,\ now\ I've\ taken\ a\ \ncrap.\ Sitting\ in\ the\ diarrhea,\ think\ I\ should\ be\ sayin'\ \"Mama\ Mia!\"\ Can't\ \ntake\ it\ to\ the\ ocean,\ too\ fast\ a\ motion,\ poo\ would\ spill\ out\ in\ a\ commotion.\ \nToo\ stinky\ to\ be\ a\ fart,\ I\ cant\ stop\ my\ pounding\ heart.\ Drugs\ have\ spun\ me\ \nout\ for\ days,\ I'm\ in\ such\ a\ haze,\ can't\ explain\ it\ to\ my\ wife\ ,\ my\ life\ is\ a\ \nmaze.\ Pooped\ in\ front\ of\ my\ kids,\ its\ worse\ than\ watching\ shitty\ itty\ bitty\ \ntitty\ vidz.\ On\ her\ command\ my\ trau\ I'll\ be\ droppin'\ ,\ my\ poo\ will\ be\ a\ \nfloppin'.\ Beachgoers\ asking\ if\ I\ could\ smell\ \"that\"\ ,\ Its\ just\ my\ poop,\ \nsmooshed\ in\ between\ my\ ass\ fat.\ Word.\n%\nAdolf\ Hitler,\ the\ Fuhrer\ himself,\ burst\ into\ my\ room\ one\ eve\ and\ whisked\ me\ \naway\ on\ a\ dream\ vacation\ to\ the\ Bahamas!\ We\ toured\ the\ isles\ together\ \narm-in-arm,\ and\ made\ love\ on\ the\ sandy\ beaches\ and\ in\ the\ clear,\ blue\ ocean.\ \nI\ fell\ in\ love\ with\ Hitler\ that\ weekend.\ Unfortunately\ when\ it\ was\ over,\ he\ \ndisappeared,\ but\ I\ know\ that\ one\ day,\ mein\ Liebe\ will\ return\ and\ take\ me\ \naway\ to\ his\ castle\ in\ the\ clouds.\n%\nDick\ Cheney\ has\ an\ odd\ habit.\ This\ bastard\ loves\ to\ masturbate\ using\ \nNickolodeon\ Gak.\ You\ know,\ that\ slimey\ stuff.\ Years\ ago,\ when\ he\ was\ a\ \ncongressman\ from\ Wyoming,\ he\ used\ to\ come\ into\ my\ toy\ store\ and\ buy\ my\ whole\ \nstock\ of\ Gak\ once\ a\ month.\ I\ never\ asked\ because\ hey,\ hes\ a\ congressman.\ But\ \none\ day\ I\ was\ walking\ around\ Casper\ and\ I\ saw\ Mr.\ Cheney\ in\ his\ car.\ He\ was\ \ntotally\ naked\ ,\ and\ was\ masturbating.\ His\ cock\ was\ covered\ entirely\ in\ this\ \nGak!\ He\ had\ 2\ empties\ in\ the\ passenger\ seat,\ and\ was\ really\ working\ his\ \ncock.\ I\ was\ sickened,\ and\ was\ about\ to\ leave\ when\ the\ future\ Vice\ President\ \nlowered\ the\ window\ and\ asked\ me\ to\ join\ him.\ I\ couldnt\ believe\ he\ said\ that.\ \nI\ jumped\ in\ the\ car\ and\ slurped\ his\ Gak-infused\ cock\ up\ ohh\ yeah\n%\nguys\ i\ am\ shitting\ in\ my\ pants\ at\ this\ very\ moment\ i\ can\ feel\ the\ turds\ \nsmashing\ against\ my\ white\ cotton\ briefs\ ohh\ yeah\n%\nAsimov,\ I\ want\ you\ to\ fuck\ me\ in\ the\ ass\ please.\ I\ am\ dying\ to\ be\ anally\ \naccosted.\ I\ want\ to\ be\ ravaged\ like\ hog.\ I\ want\ you\ to\ dress\ like\ a\ farmer\ \nand\ make\ me\ oink\ like\ a\ pig.\ I\ want\ an\ ass\ reaming\ like\ no\ other.\ Asimov,\ I\ \nhaven't\ had\ this\ kind\ of\ lust\ for\ you\ since\ the\ crazy\ college\ days.\ We\ used\ \nto\ butt\ fuck\ each\ other\ in\ the\ stalls.\ You\ always\ told\ me\ not\ to\ flush\ and\ \npreferred\ using\ my\ feces\ as\ opposed\ to\ real\ lubricant.\ ember\ your\ chocolatey\ \nmember,\ your\ manhood,\ draped\ in\ my\ feces.\ Man,\ Asimov,\ I\ remember.\ I\ was\ day\ \ndreaming,\ escaping\ into\ a\ nether\ world\ where\ we\ used\ to\ fornicate\ and\ live\ \nin\ fornicatory\ bliss.\ You\ used\ to\ like\ to\ keep\ your\ tube\ socks\ on\ to\ enhance\ \nthe\ gay\ look.\ We\ were\ so\ flitty\ and\ light\ on\ our\ feet.\ I\ am\ so\ very\ confused\ \nthese\ days.\ I\ have\ difficulty\ conceptualizing\ the\ time\ that\ was\ then\ in\ \ncontrast\ to\ now.\ I\ mea\ were\ a\ raging\ homosexual,\ now\ you\ wont\ look\ me\ in\ the\ \neye\ because\ of\ this\ anime\ woman.\ I\ know\ that\ bitch\ is\ a\ transvestite,\ and\ \nyou\ lust\ after\ my\ ass\ while\ you\ are\ being\ tentacle\ raped.\ You\ are\ closeting\ \nyour\ homosexuality\ and\ denying\ your\ roots\ in\ my\ ass!\ Don't\ be\ fooled!\ Asimov\ \nknows\ how\ to\ suck\ a\ dick.\ He\ may\ nibble,\ and\ bite,\ and\ pretend\ to\ be\ \nsheepish\ at\ first,\ but\ deep\ down\ this\ cock\ loving\ acolyte\ of\ shaft\ licks\ bar\ \nmaid.\ I\ am\ destabilizing.\ The\ world\ is\ going\ dark\ to\ me.\ I\ have\ \nscintillating\ threads\ of\ motley\ thoughts\;\ my\ ability\ to\ control\ my\ self\ \nevanesces\ away!\ I\ have\ only\ an\ adamantine\ desire\ to\ see\ your\ balloon\ knot\ \nonce\ again,\ and\ to\ have\ you\ ravage\ mine!\ Asimov\ -\ I\ NEED\ YOUR\ HOT\ MAN\ SEX\ \nNOW.\ This\ is\ your\ long\ lost\ butt\ buddy\ Joe,\ please\ come\ back.\n%\nInstead\ of\ crapflooding\ the\ Slashdot\ I\ managed\ to\ literally\ crapflood\ the\ \ntoilet\ at\ my\ workplace.\ I\ sprayed\ diarrhea\ all\ over\ the\ bowl,\ filled\ it\ with\ \nfoul\ smelling\ semi-liquid\ and\ left\ it\ unflushed!\n%\nGilles\ de\ Rais\ had\ us\ all\ fooled,\ with\ his\ two\ sided\ life.\ On\ one\ end,\ he\ \nwas\ a\ fabulously\ wealthy\ nobleman.\ On\ the\ other\ side\ he\ broke\ into\ my\ \nfarmhouse\ ,\ grabbed\ my\ son\ around\ the\ waist,\ and\ carried\ him\ off!\ He\ took\ \nhim\ to\ his\ chateau\ for\ a\ glorious\ night\ of\ rape,\ followed\ by\ death\ by\ \nsuffocation\ on\ Mr.\ de\ Rais'\ dong.\ He\ was\ nice\ enough\ to\ have\ an\ artist\ \nrecord\ the\ event,\ and\ to\ ejaculate\ in\ my\ mouth\ as\ my\ son\ died\ ohh\ yeah\n%\nWillem\ Dafoe\ gave\ a\ fabulous\ performance\ with\ his\ real-life\ portrayal\ of\ a\ \nmonstrous\ child\ molester\ as\ he\ smashed\ through\ my\ son's\ window,\ grabbed\ him\ \naround\ the\ neck,\ and\ raped\ him\ viciously.\ He\ was\ gracious\ enough\ to\ use\ \nlubrication,\ and\ to\ jerk\ my\ sons\ little\ cock\ back\ and\ forth\ ohh\ yeah.\n%\nHitler,\ Hitler,\ our\ glorious\ fuhrer.\ With\ all\ his\ jew\ gassing,\ he'll\ make\ \nthe\ race\ purer!\n%\nChaps\ Rap\ :\ Wearing\ Assless\ Chaps,\ its\ really\ easy\ to\ take\ craps.\ Showing\ \noff\ your\ erect\ cock,\ such\ a\ shock,\ every\ hour\ is\ jerk-off-o'clock.\ Your\ buns\ \nin\ my\ face,\ I\ have\ to\ taste,\ otherwise\ what\ a\ waste.\ Jerked\ you\ off\ so\ you\ \ncould\ tuck\ away,\ its\ not\ Gay,\ Balls\ didnt\ touch\ anyway.\n%\nBongToke\ BongToke\ Two\ Four\ Six,\ \ Mari\ Juana\ Stiff\ long\ Dicks\ \ My\ chin\ is\ \nbruised\ from\ Pounding\ Scrote\ \ Chuggin\ cum\ made\ tummy\ Bloat\ \ Smokin\ Weed\ 4\ \nPeace\ an\ Warez\ \ As\ long\ as\ theres\ Buttsex\ I've\ no\ Cares\n%\nCock\ Jam\ :\ Jerk\ That\ Shit\ Holmes,\ Jerk\ it\ Up.\ Jerk\ it\ like\ the\ world\ is\ \nendin',\ Jerk\ it\ till\ your\ mind\ is\ bendin'.\ Crunchy\ and\ Mushy,\ catbox.\ \nJerkin'\ fat\ cocks.\ Pearl\ of\ the\ Orient,\ gotta\ represent.\ Pants\ in\ a\ tent,\ \nI've\ jerked\ it\ \;\ now\ I'm\ spent.\n%\nFact:\ The\ product\ Miracle\ Whip\ is\ named\ after\ a\ mythical\ whip\ used\ to\ beat\ \nslaves\ in\ the\ south\ that\ would\ turn\ them\ into\ highly\ efficient\ and\ \nintelligent\ workers.\n%\nto\ late\ dip\ shit,\ I\ hope\ your\ not\ as\ stupid\ as\ you\ seem,\ giving\ me\ your\ name\ \nand\ email\ to\ give\ to\ my\ buddies\ down\ at\ the\ hate\ crime\ lab.\n%\nIsn't\ it\ great\ to\ spend\ night\ after\ night\ online\ in\ the\ company\ of\ your\ best\ \nfriends?\ \ Nothing\ like\ shooting\ the\ shit\ with\ your\ pals\ after\ a\ long\ day\ of\ \nwatching\ Star\ Trek\ VHS\ tapes.\ \ \ After\ the\ long\ walk\ upstairs,\ it\ feels\ so\ \ngood\ to\ sit\ down\ in\ the\ Archthrone\ of\ your\ Painkeep,\ rip\ open\ a\ new\ Pringles\ \ncan\ and\ start\ sipping\ a\ freshly\ concocted\ Mountain\ Dew-Quik\ shake\ you\ call\ \nthe\ \"Polyjuice\ Potion\"\ in\ honor\ of\ Harry\ Potter.\ (uNF\ Ginny!!)\ You\ call\ it\ \nthat\ because\ after\ you\ drink\ it,\ you\ transform\ into\ something\ completely\ \ndifferent.\ \ Your\ deep\ cyst\ acne\ clears\ up,\ you\ forget\ about\ your\ obesity,\ \nand\ you\ can\ chat\ about\ anime\ with\ people\ who\ genuinely\ care\ about\ you.\ After\ \na\ few\ hours,\ the\ chat\ slows\ down\ and\ you\ wander\ over\ to\ some\ Russian\ child\ \nporn\ sites\ you\ subscribe\ to.\ \ Here's\ hoping\ the\ feds\ don't\ track\ your\ \nCitibank\ card!\ Hehe.\ \ A\ good\ long\ session\ of\ stroking\ your\ four\ inch\ penis\ \nfinally\ results\ in\ a\ few\ drops\ of\ clear\ semen\ on\ your\ flabby\ fist,\ which\ you\ \nwipe\ all\ over\ your\ lips\ and\ chin,\ inhaling\ deeply.\ Finally\ feeling\ a\ bit\ \ndrowsy,\ you\ click\ off\ your\ monitor\ and\ crack\ open\ your\ Gentoo\ laptop\ so\ you\ \ncan\ finish\ explaining\ why\ Babylon\ 5\ shouldn't\ have\ been\ cancelled\ while\ in\ \nbed.\ \ You\ fall\ heavily\ onto\ your\ greasy\ mattress\ which\ has\ a\ stained\ pillow\ \nand\ a\ discolored\ blanket\ half\ draped\ on\ it.\ \ \ You\ sleepily\ type\ in\ a\ few\ \nlines\ of\ chat\ while\ popping\ some\ throbbing\ zits\ on\ your\ cheek,\ making\ more\ \npin\ point\ stains\ on\ your\ pillow.\ Just\ as\ you\ see\ some\ orange\ glow\ around\ the\ \nedge\ of\ your\ sheet\ draped\ window\ you\ decide\ to\ catch\ some\ sleep.\ You\ hate\ \nthis\ time\ of\ night\ (day?)\ \ Now\ your\ loneliness\ hits\ you\ like\ a\ wall.\ \ Almost\ \nevery\ real\ friend\ you've\ ever\ made\ has\ forgotten\ about\ you\ or\ is\ disgusted\ \nby\ you.\ \ Why\ do\ you\ act\ like\ that?\ \ Why\ do\ you\ LOOK\ like\ that?\ \ You\ \nrepresent\ everything\ they\ don't\ want\ to\ be.\ \ Why\ couldn't\ you\ just\ stay\ on\ a\ \ndiet?\ \ Why\ carve\ up\ every\ last\ pimple\ until\ yet\ another\ bloody\ crater\ has\ \nbeen\ dug\ out\ of\ your\ cheek?\ Go\ to\ sleep...go\ to\ sleep,\ you\ plead\ to\ \nyourself.\ \ Tomorrow\ is\ Season\ 4\ of\ Voyager...\ Seven\ of\ Nine.\ \ You\ like\ to\ \nimagine\ that\ you're\ on\ that\ spaceship,\ part\ of\ something,\ part\ of\ a\ group.\ \ \ \nBut\ you\ never\ will\ be.\ \ Tears\ mingle\ with\ pus\ stains\ on\ your\ pillow\ as\ you\ \nsqueeze\ your\ eyes\ shut\ trying\ to\ push\ the\ terrible\ reality\ of\ your\ singular\ \naloneness.\ \ If\ only\ you\ had\ done\ better\ in\ school,\ if\ only\ you\ could\ find\ a\ \njob...\ and\ you\ remember\ Mom\ wants\ you\ to\ mow\ the\ lawn\ tomorrow\ morning.\ \ \nGoddamn\ it,\ you're\ turning\ 30\ this\ November\ and\ you're\ still\ doing\ this\ \nshit.\ Your\ life\ is\ a\ prison\ and\ there's\ no\ chance\ for\ parole.\ Seven\ of\ \nNine...\n%\nI\ right\ clicked\ the\ clone\ brush\ over\ the\ head\ of\ the\ penis\ but\ when\ I\ click\ \non\ the\ anus\ it\ puts\ a\ ballsack\ in\ there,\ wtf!!\n%\nI've\ gone\ and\ done\ it\ again.\ It\ always\ happens\ when\ I\ need\ to\ keep\ my\ cool.\ \nDuring\ the\ seventh-inning\ stretch\ at\ the\ baseball\ game,\ I\ went\ into\ the\ \nurinal\ area\ and\ pissed\ right\ into\ my\ mouth.\ God,\ it\ tastes\ so\ bad.\ I\ think\ I\ \ngot\ the\ front\ of\ my\ shirt\ all\ wet.\ I\ just\ hope\ we\ can\ come\ back\ from\ 3\ runs\ \nbehind.\ Allright,\ I\ need\ to\ get\ back\ into\ the\ stands,\ now\ that\ I'm\ refreshed.\n%\nwe\ can\ argue\ this\ all\ fucking\ day,\ and\ in\ the\ end\ it\ didn\;t\ matter\ any\ more\ \nthan\ it\ did\ when\ you\ guys\ started\n%\nI\ cant\ go\ a\ day\ without\ punching\ myself.\ It\ is\ the\ only\ thing\ I\ get\ pleasure\ \nfrom,\ so\ I\ end\ up\ with\ bruises\ and\ I\ cry\ myself\ to\ sleep\ because\ the\ only\ \nthing\ I\ enjoy\ is\ painful.\ I\ tried\ to\ kill\ myself\ once,\ but\ then\ I\ stopped\ \nbecause\ my\ mom\ threw\ a\ beer\ bottle\ at\ me.\n%\nI\ have\ been\ worst\ than\ offended\ by\ faggots\ who've\ sought\ homosexuality\ from\ \nme.\ I\ have\ never\ beaten\ a\ homo,\ but\ there\ was\ a\ time\ when\ a\ faggot,\ a\ \nbrotha!\ and\ this\ subhuman\ cat\ approached\ me\ in\ a\ GreyHound\ bus\ terminal\ \nasking\ me\ could\ he\ give\ me\ some\ head!!!\ I\ would\ have\ murdered\ this\ beast\ but\ \nI\ wasn't\ tryna\ go\ to\ prison\ outta\ state\ where\ I\ couldn't\ get\ no\ bail.\n%\nrandomd's\ songs:\ Niggers\ Niggers,\ our\ dark\ skinned\ friends.\ \ If\ they're\ not\ \nout\ working,\ they'll\ rape\ your\ girlfriend!\ \ For\ jail's\ their\ domain,\ they're\ \nsociety's\ bane--\ Let's\ hear\ it\ for\ our\ friend\ the\ Nigger!\ Linux,\ linux,\ it's\ \nfree\ as\ in\ beer.\ \ But\ if\ you\ installed\ it,\ you're\ a\ goddamn\ queer!\ \ To\ clear\ \nup\ your\ pimples,\ the\ solutions\ quite\ simple--\ Just\ take\ a\ bath\ and\ use\ a\ \nface\ wash!\ Jews,\ jews,\ their\ noses\ are\ long.\ \ They've\ got\ to\ clean\ the\ extra\ \nskin\ on\ their\ dong!\ \ They'll\ steal\ all\ your\ money,\ the\ kabelah's\ funny--\ \nLet's\ go\ for\ the\ final\ solution!\n%\nI\ have\ something\ resembling\ lava\ temperature\ pumpkin\ pie\ filling\ spilling\ \nfrom\ my\ cock\ and\ my\ right\ nut\ has\ swollen\ to\ at\ least\ 3\ times\ the\ size\ of\ \nthe\ other.\ I\ have\ a\ large,\ angry\ lump\ in\ my\ armpit\ that\ I\ swear\ makes\ noise,\ \nmy\ cat\ shit\ in\ my\ bed,\ my\ sister\ is\ fucking\ all\ my\ friends,\ and\ someone\ \nkeeps\ leaving\ little\ Cornish\ game\ hens\ stuffed\ with\ used\ condoms\ on\ my\ \ndoorstep.\n%\nI'm\ a\ 4'2\",\ balding,\ port-a-let\ cleaner\ with\ dirty\ fingernails\ that\ lives\ \nwith\ his\ step-mother.\ My\ dad\ died\ in\ an\ controversial\ felching\ accident\ when\ \nI\ was\ 5.\ Now\ they\ call\ me\ turd-gerbil.\ Instead\ of\ an\ asshole,\ I\ now\ have\ a\ \nnice\ cluster\ of\ hemorrhoidal\ \"grapes\"\ gently\ tucked\ between\ my\ butt\ cheeks\ \nand\ for\ some\ reason,\ they\ smell\ like\ clams.\ My\ last\ bowel\ movement\ was\ 9\ \ndays\ ago.\ They\ hurt\ so\ bad\ that\ every\ time\ I\ try\ to\ shit,\ I\ cry.\ Speaking\ of\ \nshit,\ a\ hooker\ shit\ diarrhea\ in\ my\ eyes\ four\ months\ ago...\ I\ still\ can't\ see.\n%\nONEZ\ ZEROZ\ BINARY\ DIGITZ\ HACKIN\ CRACKIN\ STAYIN\ UP\ ALL\ NIGHT\ BUFFER\ OVERPHLOW\ \nU\ GOT\ OWNED\ L33T5P34K\ IPARTYZ\ CONFIN\ PHREAKIN\ ----++++THEMENTOR++++----\ BBS\ \nLANPARTY\ WIN\ NUKE\ OOB\ EXPLOITZ\ MATIX\ HEAP\ OVERFLOW\ HEX-O-DECIMALZ\ NO\ CARRIER\ \nFLIP\ THE\ BITS\ NULL\ ROUTE\ COMPILIN\ TWENTY\ FO\ HUNNERD\ BEE\ PEE\ ESS\ HAYEZ\ MODEM\ \nPEEK\ N\ POKE\ SHELLCODE\ COFFEE\ N\ BAWLS\ COCKTAILZ\ OCTAL\ SYN\ ACK\ PACKETZ\ LEAVE\ \nB4\ U\ R\ EXPUNGED\n%\nWhen\ I\ was\ a\ little\ jew,\ my\ Ima\ told\ me\ that\ if\ you\ swallow\ matza\ it\ stays\ \nin\ your\ colon\ for\ forty\ years.\ After\ I\ was\ interred\ I\ told\ a\ Nazi\ and\ he\ \nlaughed\ until\ he\ gassed\ me\ unconscious\ and\ then\ bulldozed\ my\ corpse\ \nviciously\ into\ a\ shallow\ hole!\n%\nYOU\ CAll\ me\ fagit?\ IN\ COLORS?\ HAVE\ YOU\ no\ SHAME?\ I\ will\ break\ your\ glasses,\ \nyou\ nerd.\ I\ fucked\ Dor\ GITTELAMN,\ watch\ your\ ass,\ MODER\ FUCKER.\n%\nHey,\ I\ totally\ agree\ that\ she\ was\ stupid,\ but\ could\ you\ please\ not\ use\ the\ \nword\ \"retarded\"\ in\ this\ context?\ I\ know\ I\ sound\ like\ the\ PC\ police,\ but\ \nthat's\ not\ my\ intention\ -\ it's\ just\ a\ word\ that\ really\ offends\ me.\n%\nNever,\ never,\ never,\ never\ forget\ what\ subhuman\ Muslim\ Islamic\ pigshit\ \nterrorist\ filth\ did\ to\ the\ US\ on\ 9-11-01.\ To\ put\ the\ destruction\ into\ proper\ \nscale,\ this\ GroundZero\ photo\ essay\ helps.\ I've\ been\ advocating\ \"camps\ for\ \nenemy\ combatants\"\ since\ last\ September\ 12th,\ and\ I\ still\ think\ it's\ way\ past\ \ntime\ to\ round-up\ Middle\ east\ suspects\ and\ intern\ them\ in\ the\ desert.\ The\ \nMuslims\ and\ Arabs,\ who\ are\ proven\ terrorists,\ should\ be\ tried\ by\ military\ \ntribunals\ and\ executed\ quickly.\ Radical\ Islam\ is\ an\ insane\ murder\ cult,\ and\ \n\"moderate\"\ Islam\ is\ its\ Trojan\ Horse\ in\ America.\ Islam\ is\ a\ gutter\ religion,\ \nfull\ of\ deviant\ faggot\ girly-men,\ and\ women\ haters,\ and\ intolerant\ zealot\ \nscumbags,\ who\ aren't\ fit\ to\ join\ the\ modern\ world.\ Kill\ all\ Islamic,\ Muslim\ \nand\ Arab\ terrorist\ filth\ in\ the\ madrassas\ and\ in\ the\ US\ cities\ where\ they\ \nhide.\n%\nWhen\ at\ last\ our\ orgasms\ had\ subsided,\ she\ suddenly\ leaned\ forward\ across\ me\ \nand\ hugged\ me\ tight,\ whispering\ in\ my\ ear,\ \"I\ don't\ believe\ it!\ I\ can't\ \nbelieve\ I\ just\ took\ a\ shit\ in\ your\ mouth\ and\ watched\ you\ swallow\ it.\ That\ \nhas\ got\ to\ be\ the\ wildest,\ hottest\ thing\ I've\ ever\ done\ or\ seen.\ And\ I've\ \ngot\ to\ say\ that\ I\ loved\ doing\ it\ and\ watching\ it.\ I\ must\ have\ gone\ crazy\ at\ \nsome\ point,\ but\ I\ did\ love\ it.\"\ She\ hugged\ me\ tighter,\ and\ I\ squeezed\ her\ \nback\ as\ I\ felt\ the\ pieces\ of\ shit\ she\ had\ dropped\ on\ my\ chest\ earlier\ \nmashing\ between\ our\ trembling,\ hot\ and\ sweaty\ bodies.\ She\ felt\ it\ then,\ too,\ \nand\ realized\ that\ it\ was\ smearing\ both\ of\ us\ as\ she\ crushed\ the\ turds\ \nagainst\ me.\ At\ that\ moment,\ though,\ she\ didn't\ care.\n%\nNo\ idea\ why\ people\ still\ code\ in\ C++\ and\ Java.\ Get\ with\ the\ times!\ \nMacromedia\ Flash\ is\ gaining\ ground\ very\ quickly,\ and\ will\ soon\ overtake\ the\ \naging\ \"popular\"\ programming\ languages.\ Those\ who\ have\ already\ tuned\ in\ to\ \nthe\ wave\ of\ the\ future\ are\ using\ flash\ to\ program\ everything\ from\ command\ \nline\ utils\ to\ MMORPGs.\ You\ crusty\ unix\ programmers\ need\ to\ stop\ clinging\ to\ \nyour\ old\ ways\ and\ modernize!\n%\nlow\ level\ format\ your\ hdd\ at\ once\ before\ you\ lose\ data\n%\nNiggers\ are\ not\ just\ African-Americans.\ Some\ niggers\ are\ Caribbean-American\ \nniggers.\ And\ there's\ plenty\ of\ niggers\ outside\ of\ the\ USA\ too,\ like\ in\ \nAfrica.\ Trust\ me,\ I'm\ an\ expert.\ I\ am\ seething\ with\ hatred\ for\ those\ cursed\ \napes.\n%\n\"The\ Swastika\"\ is\ the\ oldest\ cross\ and\ emblem\ in\ the\ world.\ It\ forms\ a\ \ncombination\ of\ four\ \"L's\"\ standing\ for\ Luck,\ Light,\ Love\ and\ Life.\ It\ has\ \nbeen\ found\ in\ ancient\ Rome,\ excavations\ in\ Grecian\ cities,\ on\ Buddhist\ \nidols,\ on\ Chinese\ coins\ dated\ 315\ B.C.,\ and\ our\ own\ Southwest\ Indians\ use\ it\ \nas\ an\ amulet.\n%\nI\ GOT\ SOMETHING\ FOR\ ALL\ U\ DAMN\ MOMS.\ IT\ SOMEWHAT\ RESEMBLES\ THE\ PECAN\ LOGS\ \nYOU\ GET\ AT\ CHRISTMAS.\ THATS\ RIGHT\ ITS\ A\ BIG\ BLACK\ PECKER!\n%\nAny\ stupid\ fucking\ jobless\ fish\ eating\ rice\ farming\ waps\ think\ tou\ can\ fuck\ \nwith\ a\ real\ person\ come\ get\ it\ you\ stinking\ fucking\ retarded\ ass\ mother\ \nfuckers.\ If\ you\ want\ to\ go\ back\ to\ where\ you\ came\ from\ i'll\ open\ up\ the\ ass\ \ncheeks\ of\ the\ world\ and\ buy\ you\ a\ fucking\ fishing\ trip\ back\ to\ your\ \nbirthplace\ of\ infection.\n%\nI've\ done\ it\ again.\ \ It\ always\ happens\ when\ I\ need\ to\ keep\ my\ cool.\ \ During\ \nthe\ coffee\ break\ half\ way\ through\ my\ big\ sales\ pitch\ I\ went\ into\ the\ \nbathroom\ and\ carved\ \"nigger\"\ into\ my\ chest\ again.\ God,\ it\ stings\ so\ badly.\ I\ \nthink\ the\ blood\ is\ seeping\ through\ the\ paper\ towels.\ \ I\ just\ hope\ my\ suit\ \njacket\ covers\ me\ enough.\ \ All\ right,\ I\ need\ to\ get\ back\ into\ the\ real\ estate\ \nmindset\ again.\n%\nI\ felt\ a\ glorious\ climax\ approaching.\ \"Jesus\ we\ need\ more\ balloons,\"\ I\ \ngrunted\ as\ I\ shot\ my\ load\ all\ over\ the\ assembled\ crowd.\ \"More\ mother-fucking\ \nballoons!\"\ As\ my\ acidic\ semen\ splashed\ onto\ them,\ I\ watched\ as\ everyone\ \nscreamed\ and\ writhed\ on\ the\ floor\ in\ agony,\ their\ skin\ melting\ away.\ Oh,\ \nthey\ would\ pay\ for\ taking\ my\ balloons.\ They\ would\ pay\ dearly.\ I\ wiped\ a\ tear\ \nfrom\ my\ eye\ and\ whispered\ \"more\ balloons\"\ as\ I\ started\ to\ fondle\ my\ balls\ \nagain.\ This\ will\ be\ a\ long\ night.\n%\nNiggerbabble\ is\ the\ unintelligible\ babbling\ that\ comes\ out\ of\ a\ nigger's\ \nmouth.\ Niggers\ often\ issue\ forth\ these\ babblings\ while\ grabbing\ their\ \ncrotches,\ in\ a\ desperate\ attempt\ to\ keep\ their\ sexual\ organs\ from\ falling\ \noff\ due\ to\ the\ effects\ of\ the\ many\ niggerborne\ communicable\ diseases\ they're\ \ninfested\ with.\n%\nI\ just\ saw\ a\ preview\ for\ \"Renovate\ MY\ HOUSE!\",\ and\ some\ uppity\ female\ negro\ \nsaw\ her\ new\ house\ for\ the\ first\ time\ and\ was\ shouting\ \"THANK\ YOU\ JESUS!!!\".\ \nThe\ only\ way\ I\ would\ say\ \"THANK\ YOU\ JESUS\"\ is\ if\ he\ got\ rid\ of\ all\ the\ \npeople\ of\ a\ certain\ race\ if\ you\ catch\ my\ drift.\ :D\n%\ngirl\ did\ you\ install\ back\ orifice\ 2000\ on\ me\ because\ you\ just\ caused\ my\ cd\ \ntray\ to\ eject\n%\nListen,\ dont\ make\ me\ stick\ my\ finger\ in\ your\ dirtbox.\ I'll\ fill\ your\ gaping\ \nmanhole\ with\ slimy\ man\ seed\ and\ pump\ some\ hot\ cock\ snot\ into\ your\ fart\ box.\n%\nWhen\ I\ was\ little\ a\ friend\ told\ me\ that\ if\ you\ swallow\ chewing\ gum\ it\ stays\ \nin\ your\ stomach\ for\ 7\ years.\ After\ I\ was\ married\ I\ told\ my\ husband\ and\ he\ \nlaughed\ until\ he\ choked\ me\ unconscious\ and\ then\ raped\ me\ viciously\ in\ every\ \nhole!\n%\nHey,\ faggot!\ Those\ assless\ leather\ chaps\ are\ pissing\ me\ off.\ How\ can\ you\ \npossibly\ walk\ around\ in\ public\ without\ anything\ covering\ your\ erect\ cock,\ \nand\ clean\ shaven\ balls.\ I\ cant\ believe\ anyone\ does\ this\ for\ real!\ You\ should\ \nfind\ some\ sort\ of\ underwear\ before\ I\ come\ over\ and\ put\ my\ hands\ on\ your\ \ngenitalia,\ to\ provide\ some\ modesty!\ I\ will\ happily\ stroke\ your\ penis\ so\ it\ \ncan\ be\ tucked\ away\ inside\ the\ chaps\ if\ you\ insist,\ but\ I'd\ rather\ you\ just\ \nput\ on\ some\ boxers.\ Yes,\ I\ know\ I\ have\ pink\ pants\ on,\ and\ a\ rainbow\ shirt.\ \nIm\ still\ waiting.\ Get\ those\ chaps\ covered\ up,\ and\ get\ your\ hot,\ tight\ buns\ \nout\ of\ my\ face\ before\ I\ go\ crazy.\n%\nshut\ the\ fuck\ up\ you\ obviously\ have\ no\ idea\ w-t-f\ you\ are\ talking\ about\ why\ \ndont\ you\ give\ up\ and\ go\ back\ to\ playing\ yu-gi-on\ on\ your\ little\ borther's\ \nGAYCUBE\ because\ you\ are\ obviuoulsy\ too\ stupid\ to\ comprehend\ a\ real\ game\ like\ \nfinal\ fantasy\ 8\ (argubly\ the\ best\ game\ of\ the\ series)\n%\nGuys,\ does\ anyone\ ever\ have\ that\ thing\ happen,\ where\ you've\ just\ defecated,\ \nand\ are\ wiping\ yourself,\ and\ the\ toilet\ paper\ seems\ to\ kind\ of...\ snag,\ and\ \nthen\ you\ realize\ it's\ sucking\ into\ your\ rectum\ and\ the\ next\ thing\ you\ know\ \nthe\ cardboard\ tube\ from\ the\ toilet\ paper\ is\ just\ spinning\ on\ the\ holder\ and\ \nyou've\ inadvertantly\ sucked\ an\ entire\ roll\ of\ quilted\ two-ply\ into\ your\ anus?\n%\nHuman\ perception\ is\ subjective.\ The\ human\ mind\ is\ a\ higly\ subjective\ thing,\ \nsubject\ to\ an\ endless\ parade\ of\ subjective\ factors,\ a\ democratic\ \"neuron\ \nvoting\"\ process,\ nutritional\ and\ hormonal\ factors,\ and\ so\ forth.\ Therefore,\ \nany\ philosophy\ created\ by\ humans\ is\ necessarily\ subjective,\ and\ so\ I\ find\ \nyour\ so\ called\ \"objectivism\"\ laughable\ to\ a\ degree,\ which,\ while\ subjective,\ \nis\ still\ quite\ high.\ Enjoy\ the\ rape\ fantasies\ kids\n%\nDo\ not\ try\ to\ sexually\ assault\ the\ 13\ year\ old\ girl.\ That's\ impossible.\ \nInstead\ only\ try\ to\ realize\ the\ truth.\ There\ is\ no\ 13\ year\ old\ girl.\ Then\ \nyou'll\ see\ that\ it\ is\ not\ the\ 13\ year\ old\ girl\ you\ are\ sexually\ assaulting,\ \nit\ is\ only\ yourself.\n%\ngirl\ you\ must\ be\ a\ drow\ elf\ sorceress\ because\ you\ have\ cast\ level\ 3\ ensnare\ \non\ my\ heart\n%\nYou\ know,\ I\ know\ that\ this\ sheep\ shit\ doesn't\ exist.\ I\ know\ when\ I\ put\ it\ in\ \nmy\ mouth,\ the\ Matrix\ is\ telling\ my\ brain\ that\ it\ is\ juicy\ and\ delicious.\ \nAfter\ nine\ years,\ do\ you\ know\ what\ I've\ realized?\ Ignorance\ is\ bliss.\ But\ \nthe\ funny\ part\ is,\ I'm\ not\ even\ in\ the\ matrix!\ It\ was\ reality!!\ I\ REALLY\ ATE\ \nSHEEP\ SHIT!!\n%\nAnime?\ Could\ you\ be\ any\ more\ of\ a\ fucking\ useless\ nerd?\ Seriously.\ I\ know\ \npeople\ like\ that\ who\ go\ to\ my\ high\ school,\ they\ wish\ their\ whole\ goddamned\ \nlives\ were\ anime.\ Probably\ because\ their\ parents\ got\ divorced\ and\ TOTALLY\ \nDON'T\ CARE\ when\ they\ come\ home\ and\ announce\ that\ they're\ gay\ or\ something.\n%\n201\ Come\ back\ in\ like\ 10\ years\ or\ something,\ maybe\ science\ will\ have\ \ndeveloped\ a\ pill\ that'll\ make\ you\ happy\ and\ pretend\ that\ you\ have\ giant\ blue\ \neyes\ and\ purple\ hair.\ Until\ then\ just\ keep\ cutting\ yourself\ and\ writing\ \nshitty\ poetry.\n%\nDoes\ anyone\ remember\ that\ commercial\ on\ TV\ where\ the\ kids\ would\ drink\ Yoohoo\ \nor\ some\ other\ beverage\ out\ of\ one\ of\ those\ juice\ boxes\ with\ the\ red\ and\ \nwhite\ striped\ straw?\ They\ would\ get\ sucked\ into\ the\ box\ and\ have\ on\ giant\ \nparty.\ I\ always\ thought\ that\ if\ I\ sucked\ hard\ enough\ I\ would\ get\ to\ go\ there\ \nand\ party.\n%\ngays\ don't\ belong\ here\ you\ fucking\ faggot\ with\ rippling\ muscles\ and\ clean\ \nshaven\ smooth\ skin.\ you\ need\ to\ just\ take\ your\ lisping\ moustached\ mouth\ out\ \nof\ here\ before\ the\ urge\ gets\ to\ be\ too\ much\ and\ you\ start\ fucking\ people\ in\ \nthe\ ass\ because\ you're\ a\ gay\ fag\ who\ fucks\ guys\ in\ the\ ass\ and\ sucks\ dick.\ \nnow\ put\ on\ your\ thong\ and\ leather\ pants\ and\ get\ out.\n%\nMiatas\ can't\ handle\ as\ well\ as\ other\ cars\ or\ SUVs\ because\ they\ don't\ have\ \nall\ the\ weight\ to\ let\ the\ tires\ grip\ right.\n%\nI'm\ sort\ of\ new\ to\ this\ linux\ thing,\ but\ there's\ this\ directory\ on\ my\ new\ \ninstall\ of\ Debian\ 3.1\ called\ \"/usr/bin\".\ It\ was\ all\ messed\ up\ when\ I\ first\ \nwent\ in\ there.\ None\ of\ the\ files\ had\ descriptive\ names,\ and\ it\ took\ me\ like\ \nan\ hour\ to\ figure\ out\ they\ were\ executables,\ since\ none\ of\ them\ had\ .exe\ on\ \nthe\ end\ of\ them.\ Furthermore,\ whenever\ I\ double\ click\ them,\ they\ just\ pop\ up\ \na\ command\ prompt\ for\ a\ few\ seconds\ then\ go\ away.\ I\ was\ gonna\ delete\ them,\ \nbut\ I\ got\ kinda\ afraid\ that\ they\ might\ be\ my\ kernel,\ so\ I\ fiugred\ I'd\ ask.\ \nIt's\ ok\ to\ delete\ this\ stuff,\ right?\n%\nYou\ would\ make\ a\ perfect\ Liberal\ �\ homosexual,\ self-absorbed,\ hates\ America,\ \nanxious\ to\ impose\ your\ values\ on\ everybody\ else.\n%\nWhat\ do\ you\ call\ a\ gay\ jew?\ �\ A\ sodo-miser!\n%\nBill\ O'Reilly\ is\ a\ very\ important\ news\ personality,\ one\ of\ the\ only\ \nprominent\ news\ anchors\ who\ puts\ politics\ aside\ in\ favor\ of\ reporting\ pure\ \nfacts.\ Democracy\ needs\ a\ whole\ lot\ more\ Bill\ O'Reillys\ to\ weed\ the\ \npropaganda\ out\ of\ the\ popular\ media.\n%\nSo,\ /.\ must\ be\ the\ Berekely\ if\ the\ internet.\ I\ don't\ mean\ in\ terms\ of\ actual\ \npolitics,\ I\ mean\ in\ terms\ of\ the\ mindset\ that\ assumes\ everyone\ thinks\ like\ \nus,\ or\ would\ if\ they\ were\ intelligent.\ Ogg\ people\ are\ sort\ of\ like\ \nTrotskyites,\ when\ you\ think\ about\ it.\ An\ infinitesimal\ minority\ that\ tends\ \nto\ disrupt\ the\ conversations\ of\ others\ with\ their\ irrelevant\ diatribes.\n%\nI\ will\ freak\ you\ like\ an\ animal,\ putting\ my\ sting\ in\ you\ sideways.\ I\ will\ \nhit\ you\ up\ doggy-style\ until\ the\ sun\ comes\ up.\ I\ will\ whisper\ in\ your\ ear\ \nthat\ you\ are\ the\ most\ precious,\ sexiest\ gift\ of\ God\ that\ has\ ever\ existed\ in\ \nall\ of\ creation.\ And\ I\ will\ do\ it\ in\ sheets\ made\ of\ the\ most\ exotic\ European\ \nsatin.\n%\nLearning\ about\ lunix\ is\ not\ about\ compiling\ everything\ from\ scratch.\ linux\ \nis\ all\ in\ the\ configuration,\ not\ the\ bootstrapping\ and\ compilation.\ Debian's\ \npackage\ management\ tools\ pull\ down\ precompiled\ binaries,\ automatically,\ with\ \ndependencies,\ PLUS,\ with\ a\ kernel-recompile\ and\ a\ bit\ of\ knowledge\ with\ \nmenuconfig,\ you\ can\ \"optimize\"\ the\ kernel\ (which\ is\ all\ that\ really\ matters)\ \nto\ what\ hardware\ you\ have.\ Gentoo's\ motto:\ \"life\ is\ too\ short\ to\ be\ spent\ \nrebooting\ all\ day,\ but\ long\ enough\ to\ emerge\ openoffice\ (mozilla,\ kde,\ \ngnome,\ any\ of\ the\ big\ suites.)\ Debian\ lets\ me\ install\ the\ packages,\ and\ get\ \non\ with\ configuring\ them.\ You're\ not\ going\ to\ learn\ any\ more\ about\ linux\ by\ \nwatching\ \"gcc\ -lncurses\ -o\ main\ main.c\ -DOMGWTF\"\ scroll\ by\ for\ hours.\n%\nFrom\ my\ experiences\ on\ irc,\ the\ only\ reason\ i\ can\ see\ for\ using\ any\ non\ \nwindows\ OS\ (linusex,\ freebsd,\ sun,\ barbieOS,\ macOS)\ is\ so\ that\ you\ can\ \nappear\ k-rad\ to\ your\ irc\ peers.\n%\nHi,\ my\ name\ is\ Gareth.\ I'm\ from\ Brisbane,\ Australia.\ I'm\ into\ emo\ and\ zines.\ \nI\ actually\ used\ to\ do\ sexual\ stuff\ with\ my\ father.\ It\ was\ kinda\ weird\ when\ \nit\ first\ happened,\ but\ it's\ cool\ now.\ We\ jerk\ each\ other\ off\ and\ sometimes\ I\ \nrub\ his\ load\ into\ my\ nipples.\ It's\ pretty\ cool.\ I\ like\ to\ taste\ it.\ It's\ \nsalty.\ Sometimes\ I\ mix\ our\ semen\ together.\ It's\ like\ a\ party\ for\ our\ sperm.\ \nThey\ get\ some\ \"social\ time.\"\ For\ a\ little\ while\ we\ used\ to\ play\ with\ each\ \nothers\ faeces.\ It\ was\ gross\ for\ a\ little\ bit,\ but\ once\ you\ get\ over\ the\ \nwhole\ \"it\ stinks\"\ part,\ it's\ awesome.\ It's\ like\ playing\ with\ DIY\ play\ dough.\ \nThat's\ pretty\ punk.\ I\ would\ love\ to\ play\ with\ your\ faeces.\ Some\ would\ think\ \nfaeces\ is\ faeces\ but\ hot\ chick\ faeces\ is\ alot\ better.\ Yours\ would\ be\ THE\ \nSHIT.\ LOL.\ GET\ IT?\n%\ni\ remember\ once\ my\ dad\ sleeping\ on\ the\ couch\ and\ something\ was\ sticking\ out\ \nof\ his\ pants,\ i\ thought\ it\ was\ a\ knife,\ so\ i\ went\ up\ to\ him\ and\ i\ touched\ it\ \nand\ tried\ to\ pull\ the\ knife\ off\ his\ body\ and\ he\ woke\ up\ with\ me\ holding\ his\ \npenis\n%\nThe\ lowest\ requirements\ for\ Doom\ 3\ are\ a\ Pentium\ 4\ 1.6\ Ghz,\ and\ as\ we\ all\ \nknow\ the\ fastest\ pentiumIII\ is\ faster\ than\ the\ slowest\ pentium\ 4,\ so\ I\ think\ \nI'm\ fine.\ If\ not,\ I'll\ just\ wait\ for\ the\ Linux\ binary\ to\ come\ out\ so\ that\ I\ \ncan\ run\ it\ on\ my\ ultra\ fast\ compiled-from-scratch\ Gentoo\ box.\ No\ M\$\ slow\ \ndowns\ for\ me!\n%\nListen:\ Freebsd\ is\ for\ amateur\ tinkerers\ and\ college\ kids.\ Only\ some\ old\ \nfart\ who\ started\ working\ in\ the\ 90s\ would\ still\ use\ BSD\ for\ anything\ \nimportant.\ The\ last\ time\ FreeBSD\ was\ ahead\ of\ linux\ in\ anything\ was\ what?\ \n1996?\ maybe\ 1998?\ Name\ anything\ freebsd\ actually\ does\ better\ than\ linux?\ \nThere\ is\ never\ anything\ specific\ backed\ up\ by\ facts.\ It's\ always\ just\ some\ \n\"well\ it's\ like\ more\ robust\ or\ something...\"\ crap\ which\ means\ nothing\ and\ is\ \nnot\ even\ true.\ BSD\ is\ running\ on\ fumes\ of\ hype\ right\ now,\ once\ people\ wake\ \nup\ and\ realize\ it\ sucks\ it\ will\ be\ all\ done.\n%\nexcuse\ but\ this\ person\ promised\ me\ he\ would\ send\ me\ shemale\ snuff\ porn\ if\ i\ \nwas\ to\ send\ him\ some\ of\ mine,\ he\ lied.\ i\ sent\ him\ massive\ amounts\ of\ \ntranzgender\ fucking\ sucking,blowing\ and\ jizzing\ and\ he\ still\ hasnt\ returned\ \nthe\ favor.please\ to\ not\ trade\ porn\ with\ this\ man\ on\ internet\ relay\ chat\n%\nIt's\ a\ good\ thing\ we\ have\ conscientious\ websites\ like\ slashdot.org\ to\ report\ \nthis\ kind\ of\ stuff,\ it\ was\ completely\ ignored\ by\ the\ mainstream\ press.\n%\nI\ live\ with\ my\ best\ friend\ of\ many\ years.\ He\ and\ I\ eat\ dinner\ together,\ \nwatch\ TV\ together,\ and\ drink\ together.\ While\ we\ were\ in\ the\ living\ room\ \nwatching\ TV,\ he\ asked\ me\ if\ I\ wanted\ to\ masturbate\ with\ him.\ I\ hesitantly\ \nsaid\ okay.\ I\ let\ him\ get\ started\ first\ and\ finally\ got\ the\ courage\ to\ do\ the\ \nsame.\ I\ was\ amazed\ at\ how\ much\ I\ watched\ his\ penis\ barely\ looking\ at\ the\ \nwomen\ in\ the\ video.\ I\ saw\ him\ glance\ at\ me\ several\ times\ as\ well\ We\ \ncurrently\ masturbate\ together\ about\ 3\ nights\ a\ week.\ After\ the\ first\ month,\ \nI\ told\ him\ I\ wanted\ to\ do\ what\ I\ like\ to\ but\ didn't\ want\ to\ freak\ him\ out.\ \nHe\ said\ okay,\ and\ after\ I\ ejaculated\ on\ my\ stomach,\ I\ scooped\ it\ up\ and\ ate\ \nit.\ I've\ always\ done\ this.\ Just\ last\ week\ he\ shocked\ me\ by\ ejaculating\ in\ \nhis\ hand\ and\ asking\ me\ if\ I\ wanted\ it.\ I\ licked\ it\ out\ of\ his\ hand\ and\ that\ \nwas\ it.\ Can\ I\ be\ doing\ this\ and\ not\ be\ gay?\n%\ni\ will\ make\ a\ point\ to\ you\ people\ that\ the\ youth\ cant\ buy\ doom\ 3\ as\ it\ has\ a\ \nthing\ called\ an\ age\ rating,\ and\ if\ you\ dont\ want\ your\ children\ to\ play\ this\ \ngame\ thats\ fine\ by\ me.You\ shouldnt\ go\ around\ trying\ to\ get\ things\ banned\ \nthat\ us\ p.c\ gaming\ nuts\ will\ play\ and\ enjoy.\ Do\ something\ constructive\ like\ \ndonate\ money\ too\ the\ poor\ or\ help\ old\ ladies\ across\ the\ street\ than\ sitting\ \nin\ front\ of\ a\ computer\ trying\ to\ get\ a\ video\ game\ banned.\n%\nHey\ shithead.\ If\ I\ find\ any\ of\ your\ posts\ modded\ down\ I'll\ metamod\ in\ \nagreement\ with\ the\ moderator.\ You\ are\ a\ piece\ of\ shit\ asshole\ who\ deserves\ \nto\ be\ modded\ down.\n%\nSometimes\ I'm\ convinced\ the\ only\ reason\ ipod\ users\ are\ so\ devoted/obsessed\ \nis\ the\ fact\ that\ Apple\ treats\ its\ customers\ like\ shit.\ You\ know,\ the\ whole\ \nabusive\ spouse\ paradigm\n%\nYou\ present\ a\ real\ and\ true\ perspective.\ A\ perspective\ of\ one\ who\ spends\ all\ \nhis\ time\ surfing\ conspiracy\ websites\ and\ schizophrenic\ web\ forum\ postings,\ \ndisregarding\ anything\ that\ conflicts\ with\ a\ predetermined\ conspiracist\ \nconclusion.\n%\nYou're\ just\ a\ common\ or\ garden\ onanist.\ You\ open\ with\ a\ question,\ but\ then\ \ngab\ on\ and\ on\ and\ on\ and\ on\ about\ yourself.\ You\ are\ a\ virgin\ who\ calls\ his\ \nmother\ every\ night\ and\ then\ sobs\ quietely\ into\ his\ imported\ Japanese\ brandy\ \nwhile\ masturbating\ impotently\ to\ a\ DVD\ freeze\ frame\ of\ Janeway\ with\ her\ hair\ \na\ little\ mussed.\ You\ will\ never\ know\ the\ touch\ of\ a\ woman,\ and\ never\ have\ \nany\ friends\ outside\ of\ your\ widescreen\ 19\"\ DVI\ LCD.\ When\ you\ die,\ your\ \narteries\ choked\ with\ Cheetos\ fat\ at\ age\ 32,\ your\ last\ thoughts\ will\ be\ of\ \nblessed\ relief,\ and\ nobody\ will\ mourn\ your\ passing.\n%\nMy\ cock\ stayed\ hard\ after\ coming\ from\ his\ fist\ slamming\ my\ prostrate\ with\ \neach\ punch,\ the\ onslaught\ continued.\ He\ slide\ his\ fist\ back\ in\ elbow\ deep\ \nand\ with\ the\ other\ hand\ untied\ my\ restraints.\ \"Now\ turn\ over\ on\ your\ back\ \nwith\ my\ fist\ in\ your\ ass\ and\ then\ raise\ your\ legs\ high\ above\ your\ head\ so\ \nyour\ cunts\ fully\ exposed\"\ I\ flipped\ over\ feeling\ that\ massive\ arm\ rotating\ \nin\ my\ ass,\ almost\ making\ me\ cream\ again.\ I\ held\ my\ ass\ up\ high\ for\ him\ as\ he\ \nheld\ my\ leg\ with\ the\ other\ arm\ and\ the\ fisting\ started\ again.\ I\ looked\ down\ \nto\ watch\ deep\ long\ fisting\ stokes,\ my\ asshole\ complaining\ with\ gurgling\ and\ \nsucking\ sounds\ as\ he\ pummeled\ my\ asshole..\ My\ balls\ were\ tied\ of\ tight\ as\ I\ \nbegan\ to\ jack\ my\ cock\ \"Go\ deep,\ really\ ruin\ it\ master!\"\ He\ pulled\ out,\ wiped\ \nhis\ hands\ clean\ and\ untied\ my\ balls.\ \"Hit\ the\ showers,\ slutboy!\ Your\ asshole\ \nis\ totally\ wasted\"\ I\ could\ feel\ huge\ lips\ flapping\ between\ my\ cheeks,\ afraid\ \nto\ see\ what\ he\ has\ done,\ I\ know\ I\ never\ shit\ right\ for\ a\ awhile.\n%\nyour\ thighs\ sweat\ from\ the\ cheap\ velvet\ of\ your\ walmart\ shorts,\ the\ \ncellulite\ sticks\ out\ like\ a\ sore\ thumb.\ you\ sit\ in\ front\ of\ your\ webcam\ with\ \nthe\ dorito\ crumbs\ on\ your\ chest\ still\ left\ over\ from\ last\ weeks\ smorgasbord\n%\nDo\ they\ teach\ english\ in\ Palestine?\ You\ stinky\ fucking\ sand\ nigger.\ That's\ \nright,\ I\ am\ to\ the\ Arabs\ as\ Hitler\ was\ to\ the\ Jews.\ My\ job\ is\ to\ exterminate\ \nevery\ last\ one\ of\ your\ race,\ starting\ with\ YOU,\ you\ disgusting\ wretch\ of\ an\ \nArab\ dog.\ You'll\ lick\ my\ boot\ right\ before\ you\ dig\ your\ own\ ditch,\ and\ then\ \nI'll\ shoot\ you\ in\ the\ back\ of\ the\ head.\ You're\ naked,\ stomach\ swollen,\ \nhungry,\ exhausted.\ You're\ my\ dog.\ If\ you're\ lucky,\ I\ won't\ feed\ your\ remains\ \nto\ the\ pigs.\ Nothing\ can\ save\ you\ from\ your\ fate,\ the\ fate\ of\ all\ the\ Arabic\ \npeoples:\ to\ be\ wiped\ off\ the\ face\ of\ the\ earth\ like\ the\ plague\ you\ are.\ You\ \ncan\ try\ to\ ignore\ me,\ but\ let's\ see\ if\ you\ can\ ignore\ a\ pistol\ being\ waved\ \nin\ your\ face.\ You\ have\ no\ hope.\ You're\ stuck\ somewhere\ in\ the\ Middle\ East,\ \nsucking\ donkey\ cock\ all\ day\ because\ your\ dirty\ Arab\ hide\ has\ no\ other\ way\ to\ \nget\ nourishment.\ I'm\ in\ the\ wealthy\ west,\ sipping\ champagne\ and\ laughing\ \nmyself\ to\ tears\ as\ I\ watch\ your\ race\ get\ massacred\ on\ my\ 40\"\ hdtv.\ I'll\ take\ \na\ dip\ in\ the\ cool\ waters\ of\ my\ olympic\ sized\ pool\ as\ your\ corpse\ rots\ in\ the\ \nhot\ equatorial\ sun.\n%\nTouching,\ long\ handshakes,\ grasped\ buttocks,\ even\ walking\ hand\ in\ pocket\ by\ \ntwo\ males\ is\ common\ place\ in\ the\ Arab\ world.\ A\ considerable\ number\ of\ Arabs\ \ntouch\ more\ between\ the\ same\ sex,\ to\ show\ liking--not\ sex.\ They\ hold\ hands\ at\ \nurinals,\ hug\ each\ other,\ kiss\ if\ close\ friends,\ sometimes\ with\ tongue.\ This\ \nis\ a\ pivotal\ part\ of\ Arab\ society\ that\ few\ westerners\ understand!\n%\nGOD\ DAMN\ SKATEBOARDERS\ ARE\ GAY...YOU\ LITTLE\ FISHY\ CUNTS\ SOUND\ LIKE\ A\ BUNCH\ \nOF\ WOMEN\ ARGUING\ OVER\ SHOES.\ GOOD\ JOB\ LADIES...HOW\ ABOUT\ THIS...TAKE\ EACH\ \nOTHERS\ COCKS\ OUT\ OF\ YOUR\ MOUTHS\ AND\ GET\ OVER\ IT.\ THE\ WHOLE\ WORLD\ IS\ MONEY\ \nDRIVEN\ AND\ RUN,\ AND\ ALWAYS\ WILL\ BE.\ ILL\ BET\ MOST\ OF\ YOU\ ARE\ 15\ AND\ HAVE\ NO\ \nCONCEPT\ OF\ HOW\ EVERYTHING\ REALLY\ IS.\ ITS\ SO\ EASY\ TO\ SAY\ ALL\ THE\ STUPID\ SHIT\ \nYOU\ ARE\ SAYING\ WHEN\ YOU\ DONT\ HAVE\ HUMAN\ BEINGS\ DEPENDING\ OON\ YOU\ TO\ SURVIVE\ \n(ie:\ children).\ OH...AND\ REMEMBER...FUCK\ ISLAM\ AND\ ANYONE\ OF\ MIDDLE\ EASTERN\ \nNATIONALITY....ROUND\ THEM\ UP,\ PUT\ THEM\ IN\ CAMPS\ AND\ LET\ THEM\ SIT\ THERE\ UNTIL\ \nTHINGS\ ARE\ SOLVED,\ OR\ UNTIL\ WE\ DECIDE\ TO\ EXTERMINATE\ EACH\ AND\ EVERYONE\ OF\ \nTHEM\ IN\ THE\ USA\n%\nIt\ has\ been\ brought\ to\ my\ attention\ from\ a\ fellow\ of\ mine\ that\ he\ fingers\ \nhis\ asshole\ while\ he\ jerks\ off.\ We\ were\ talking\ about\ Ninja\ Turtles\ the\ \nother\ day\ and\ he\ was\ like\ have\ you\ ever\ given\ yourself\ a\ Donatello?\ And\ I\ \nhad\ no\ idea\ what\ that\ meant\ so\ I\ asked\ and\ he\ said\ it\ was\ when\ you\ stick\ \nyour\ finger(s)\ in\ your\ asshole\ while\ you\ jerk\ off.\ So\ to\ that\ I\ say\ no\ and\ \nask\ him\ if\ he\ has\ ever\ given\ himself\ a\ Donatello,\ and\ he\ gives\ \ me\ some\ kind\ \nof\ faggish\ grin.\ So\ I\ call\ him\ a\ fag.\ He\ says\ it\ helps\ him\ get\ it\ up\ faster\ \nand\ cum\ faster.\ I\ still\ dont\ quite\ understand,\ why\ in\ the\ hell\ would\ you\ \nwant\ stick\ your\ fingers\ in\ your\ asshole.\ Is\ there\ something\ up\ there\ \nspecial?\ The\ farthest\ I\ would\ ever\ go\ is\ wiping\ my\ ass.\ I\ just\ can't\ \nimagine,\ I\ mean\ I've\ licked\ an\ asshole\ by\ mistake\ once,\ but\ voluntarily\ \nsticking\ your\ fingers\ or\ objects\ in\ your\ ass\ while\ you\ jerk\ off\ just\ strikes\ \nme\ as\ vile.\n%\nYou\ see,\ Bob\ Barker\ was\ in\ New\ Jersey\ with\ a\ 42\ year\ old\ woman.\ At\ any\ rate,\ \nBob\ and\ this\ Jersey\ broad,\ told\ the\ Jersey\ broad's\ teenaged\ kids\ to\ throw\ \npennies\ at\ hasidic\ jews.\ A\ cop\ saw\ it,\ and\ bid\ on\ door\ number\ one.\ Bob\ \nBarker\ had\ him\ castrated...\ he\ now\ goes\ by\ the\ moniker\ \"High\ Pitched\ Eric.\"\ \nThe\ rest\ is\ history.\n%\nAh\ yes,\ the\ Nazi's\ come\ to\ play.\ Wonderful,\ the\ only\ thing\ more\ ignorant\ \nthan\ a\ homophobe\ is\ a\ racist.\ Well\ god\ help\ you\ my\ brother,\ because\ if\ your\ \nHitler\ youth\ ass\ ever\ steps\ foot\ in\ GA,\ I\ will\ find\ you\ myself.\n%\nI\ have\ problem\ with\ my\ sister\ husband.\ He\ started\ about\ a\ while\ back\ to\ \nbring\ his\ friend\ over\ when\ he\ visit\ to\ start\ acting\ funny\ with\ me.\ Because\ \nhe\ is\ my\ sister\ husband\ I\ felt\ I\ could\ not\ refuse\ it\ and\ now\ it\ has\ turn\ to\ \nsexual\ acts\ of\ an\ improper\ nature.\ Although\ intercourse\ had\ never\ occurred\ \nhe\ has\ shot\ his\ sperm\ on\ my\ face,\ placed\ objects\ in\ my\ anus\ and\ made\ to\ \ndrink\ his\ urine.\ How\ do\ I\ stop\ before\ things\ go\ farther.\ Thanks.\n%\nGuess\ what,\ asshole?\ I\ was\ one\ of\ the\ earliest\ hackers\ in\ the\ 1980s.\ I\ KNEW\ \nKevin\ Mitnick.\ Phone\ Phreaking\ is\ as\ secondary\ to\ me\ as\ skullfucking\ your\ \ndaughter.\ I'm\ going\ to\ keep\ calling\ your\ house,\ OVER\ AND\ OVER,\ and\ the\ phone\ \ncompany\ will\ NEVER\ be\ able\ to\ trace\ the\ call.\ You're\ going\ down.\n%\nI\ have\ survived\ fights\ by\ always\ expecting\ at\ least\ one\ more\ attacker\ than\ \nwhat\ you\ see\ and\ \[I\]\ always\ expect\ weapons.\ The\ time\ that\ I\ was\ seriously\ \ncut?\ I\ was\ caught\ by\ surprise\ with\ a\ guy\ drawing\ a\ hidden\ straight\ razor.\ \nThat\ was\ in\ my\ early\ days.\ I\ have\ been\ fortunate\ enough\ to\ survive\ attacks\ \nwith\ my\ attackers\ presenting\ guns\ and\ knives.\ Usually\ two\ or\ more\ attackers.\ \nI\ have\ also\ come\ out\ of\ fights\ relatively\ unscathed\ where\ I\ faced\ \napproximately\ twenty\ gang\ members,\ several\ times,\ different\ occasions.\ \nMostly\ knives,\ chains,\ and\ pipes\ there.\ ...My\ first\ fight\ with\ a\ gang?\ I\ was\ \nin\ high\ school\ ...I\ was\ determined\ that\ no\ one\ was\ going\ to\ get\ my\ buddy\ \nfrom\ behind.\ The\ gang\ guys\ all\ started\ taking\ off\ their\ belts\ and\ rolling\ \nthem\ up\ on\ their\ fists.\ We\ walked\ out\ of\ that\ fight\ at\ the\ end\ of\ that\ fight\ \nand\ he\ had\ no\ more\ trouble\ from\ that\ gang\ as\ long\ as\ he\ lived\ there\ ...It\ \nwas\ a\ stand\ up\ fight.\ I\ think\ I\ wouldn't\ let\ myself\ go\ down\ because\ I\ didn't\ \nwant\ to\ let\ my\ buddy\ down.\ ...We\ showed\ up\ at\ the\ agreed\ upon\ time\ and\ place\ \nand\ there\ were\ about\ 20\ of\ the\ Chinese\ gang\ members\ who\ were\ there\ to\ make\ \nsure\ there\ was\ a\ \"fair\ fight.\"\ Sure,\ that\ was\ why\ there\ were\ 20\ of\ them\ \nagainst\ the\ three\ of\ us\ and\ they\ used\ pipes\ and\ knives.\ 'Course\ we\ used\ \nnunchucks,\ three\ sectional\ staff,\ and\ chain\ whip.\ That\ ended\ the\ fight\ real\ \nquick.\n%\nyou\ must\ be\ real\ smarte\ to\ be\ albe\ to\ make\ a\ space\ robot,\ my\ parents\ have\ a\ \ndvd\ player\ thing,\ can\ you\ turn\ that\ into\ a\ robot,\ it\ has\ a\ lasre\ in\ it\n%\nSince\ I\ was\ a\ kid\ I\ always\ thought\ of\ Adolf\ Hitler\ as\ a\ great\ leader.\ When\ I\ \ntook\ a\ Holocaust\ class\ in\ school\ and\ the\ teacher\ preached\ about\ what\ a\ \nscumbag\ he\ was\ and\ how\ much\ Germany\ fucked\ up\ I\ told\ her\ to\ go\ fuck\ herself\ \nand\ I\ walked\ out\ a\ dropped\ the\ course.\ Everytime\ I\ see\ her\ I\ give\ a\ Sieg\ \nHiel\ and\ the\ salute.\ I\ wish\ Germany\ won\ World\ War\ II\ and\ the\ U.S.\ lost\ \nmiserably.\ The\ world\ would\ be\ such\ a\ greater,\ cooler\ place.\n%\nPicking\ your\ nose\ and\ eating\ it\ is\ one\ of\ the\ best\ ways\ to\ stay\ healthy,\ \naccording\ to\ a\ top\ Austrian\ doctor.\ Innsbruck-based\ lung\ specialist\ Prof\ Dr\ \nFriedrich\ Bischinger\ said\ people\ who\ pick\ their\ noses\ with\ their\ fingers\ \nwere\ healthy,\ happier\ and\ probably\ better\ in\ tune\ with\ their\ bodies.\ He\ says\ \nsociety\ should\ adopt\ a\ new\ approach\ to\ nose-picking\ and\ encourage\ children\ \nto\ take\ it\ up.\ Dr\ Bischinger\ said:\ \"With\ the\ finger\ you\ can\ get\ to\ places\ \nyou\ just\ can't\ reach\ with\ a\ handkerchief,\ keeping\ your\ nose\ far\ cleaner.\ \n\"And\ eating\ the\ dry\ remains\ of\ what\ you\ pull\ out\ is\ a\ great\ way\ of\ \nstrengthening\ the\ body's\ immune\ system.\n%\nU\ CANT\ FOOL\ ME\ WITH\ YOUR\ HACKED\ PROXY\ OMG\ DDOS\ DRONE\ NET\ PAQUETS\ REVERSE\ \nTRACE\ HAXORS\ SUB7\ PAQUETS\ PAQUETS\ PAQUETS\ NMAP\ MOUNTAIN\ DEW\ HUGE\ ASS\ UNIX\ \nFREEBSD\ SLASHDOT\ OPEN\ SARCE\ DATA\ RAPE\ FIREWALLZ\ PAQUETZ\ XPLOIT\ VIRII\ DDOS\ \nSCO\ LUNIX\ PARENTZ\ BASEMENT\n%\nWhat\ do\ we\ see?\ We\ see\ the\ figure\ of\ a\ muscular\ man\ laying\ back\ on\ some\ kind\ \nof\ rocky\ outcrop,\ resting\ on\ a\ piece\ of\ animal\ skin.\ His\ left\ arms\ is\ tucked\ \nbehind\ his\ head,\ while\ the\ other\ drops\ to\ the\ side\ of\ the\ rock.\ His\ muscular\ \ntorso\ is\ well\ defined\ while\ his\ legs\ are\ raised\ up\ and\ seperated\ so\ that\ \nboth\ of\ his\ inner\ thighs\ are\ shown.\ It\ is\ clearly\ evident\ what\ part\ of\ the\ \nmale\ anatomy\ is\ being\ emphasized\ here\ as\ one's\ eyes\ cannot\ help\ but\ focus\ \nupon\ the\ area\ between\ the\ thighs\ and\ alight\ upon\ the\ man's\ genitalia.\n%\nThe\ girl\ can\ probably\ never\ be\ said\ to\ truly\ enjoy\ the\ experience\ if\ she\ is\ \nfearful\ for\ her\ life\ or\ suffering\ the\ trauma's\ of\ the\ victimization\ but\ it\ \nstill\ seems\ funny\ to\ be\ that\ if\ she\ is\ going\ to\ be\ raped\ anyhow\ than\ she\ \nshould\ at\ least\ get\ a\ good\ fuck\ out\ of\ it.\n%\nShe\ smiled\ as\ she\ felt\ her\ finger\ become\ drenched\ in\ her\ mother's\ hot\ cunt\ \njuice.\ She\ was\ surprised.\ She\ reached\ into\ her\ bathrobe\ and\ pulled\ out\ \nKaren's\ panties.\ If\ her\ mother\ had\ not\ been\ snoring\ so\ loudly,\ Karen\ would\ \nhave\ worried\ that\ she\ was\ in\ an\ alcohol\ induced\ coma.\ Karen\ pissed\ for\ a\ \nlong\ time,\ completely\ drenching\ her\ mother\ and\ the\ bed\ in\ warm\ piss.\n%\nMy\ Band,\ although\ composed\ of\ 2\ flute\ players,\ and\ almost\ soothing\ at\ times,\ \nis\ comparable\ to\ the\ sound\ of\ Kenny\ G,\ but\ our\ music\ holds\ messages\ of\ hate,\ \ngenocide,\ and\ anal\ sex.\ We\ played\ the\ title\ track\ off\ our\ album,\ \"Hitler\ was\ \nthe\ World's\ True\ Leader\",\ which\ talks\ about\ killing\ Jews\ and\ acheiving\ Nazi\ \nideological\ clarity.\n%\nNo\ more\ group\ sex\ in\ the\ Jacuzzi,\ got\ it?\ You\ all\ kept\ me\ up\ until\ 4am,\ and\ \nall\ the\ chlorine\ in\ the\ world\ wouldn't\ get\ rid\ of\ the\ shit\ that\ I\ found\ \nswimming\ in\ this\ thing\ 20\ minutes\ ago.\n%\nSCIENCE\ TRIVIA:\ Did\ you\ know\ that\ the\ more\ members\ an\ instrumental\ rock\ band\ \nhas,\ the\ worse\ they\ are?\ Studies\ have\ shown\ that\ the\ optimal\ number\ is\ zero\n%\nTrolls\ are\ utterly\ impervious\ to\ criticism\ (constructive\ or\ otherwise).\ You\ \ncannot\ negotiate\ with\ them\;\ you\ cannot\ cause\ them\ to\ feel\ shame\ or\ \ncompassion\;\ you\ cannot\ reason\ with\ them.\ They\ cannot\ be\ made\ to\ feel\ \nremorse.\ For\ some\ reason,\ trolls\ do\ not\ feel\ they\ are\ bound\ by\ the\ rules\ of\ \ncourtesy\ or\ social\ responsibility.\n%\nI\ didn't\ get\ laid.\ She\ said\ she\ was\ \"bi\ but\ doesn't\ date\ guys\",\ so\ we're\ \njust\ friends.\ God\ I'm\ such\ a\ fucking\ loser.\n%\nSo\ assuming\ that\ I\ know\ how\ to\ write\ cronjobs,\ bash\ scripts\ that\ change\ the\ \ncolor\ of\ my\ prompt,\ and\ DOS\ batch\ scripts,\ which\ language\ should\ I\ try\ \nlearning\ first?\n%\nWho\ is\ John\ Edwards?\ A\ Disingenuous,\ Unaccomplished\ Liberal\ and\ Friend\ to\ \nPersonal\ Injury\ Trial\ Lawyers\n%\nEvenFate's\ members\ form\ so\ clearly\ the\ pool\ of\ their\ music:\ the\ ripples\ of\ \neach\ individual's\ craving\ for\ creation\ and\ the\ ripples\ of\ music\ that\ has\ \ninfluenced\ them.\ Stark,\ bold,\ complex,\ and\ moving,\ Even\ Fate\ intends\ the\ \nlistener\ to\ let\ the\ waves\ inspire\ them,\ so\ the\ waves\ bounce\ back,\ and\ \ninspire\ Even\ Fate\n%\nyou\ guys\ got\ no\ life\ and\ you\ have\ shitty\ computers\ cause\ you\ can\ only\ run\ \nold\ warez\n%\nAn\ Apple\ computer\ user\ has\ at\ least\ three\ of\ the\ following\ features:he\ is\ \ngay\;\ he\ thinks\ he's\ straight,\ but\ yearns\ to\ get\ out\ the\ closet\;\ loves\ the\ \nsmooth\ curves\ of\ plastic\;\ has\ more\ money\ than\ brains\;\ always\ ends\ up\ \n\"accidently\"\ in\ a\ gay\ bar\ to\ \"use\ the\ payphone\"\;\ has\ at\ least\ once\ \nfantasized\ about\ blowing\ Wozniak\ in\ a\ shower\;\ likes\ running\ through\ a\ field\ \nof\ daisies\;\ has\ an\ IKEA\ card\;\ has\ worked\ as\ a\ \"graphic\ designer\"\ for\ at\ \nleast\ two\ years\n%\nOkay\ faggots,\ listen\ up.\ Mandatory\ drug\ tests\ today.\ Only\ this\ time,\ instead\ \nof\ pissing\ in\ a\ cup,\ you'll\ be\ pissing\ on\ each\ other's\ faces.\ Sure\ hope\ you\ \nlike\ asparagus.\n%\nNot\ only\ would\ I\ kick\ your\ ass\ if\ you\ came\ and\ said\ this\ shit\ to\ my\ face,\ I\ \nwould\ shove\ your\ head\ so\ far\ up\ your\ ass,\ you\ would\ smell\ the\ mousse\ in\ your\ \nhair.\ I\ would\ also\ make\ sure\ I\ bend\ your\ your\ ribs\ sequentially\ and\ throw\ \nwater\ on\ your\ face\ the\ whole\ time\ to\ make\ sure\ you\ remained\ conscious\ \nthroughout\ the\ entire\ ordeal.\ Then\ I'd\ call\ 911\ and\ turn\ myself\ in\ to\ the\ \ncops,\ make\ bail\ and\ go\ home.\ You'd\ be\ in\ pain\ for\ a\ long\ time.\ I'd\ be\ home,\ \nin\ bed.\ Self\ defense.\n%\nI\ just\ heard\ sad\ news\ on\ talk\ radio\ -\ Laughingstock/operating\ system\ *BSD\ \nwas\ found\ dead\ in\ its\ Walnut\ Creek\ server\ this\ morning.\ I'm\ sure\ we\ all\ \nwon't\ miss\ it\ -\ even\ if\ you\ likely\ didn't\ use\ it,\ you've\ probably\ been\ \nserved\ a\ webpage\ by\ it.\ Truly\ an\ icon\ of\ uselessness.\n%\nIf\ the\ choice\ of\ a\ sexual\ partner\ were\ protected\ by\ the\ Constitution,\ \nprostitution,\ adultery,\ necrophilia,\ bestiality,\ possession\ of\ child\ \npornography,\ and\ even\ incest\ and\ pedophilia\ also\ would\ be.\ All\ of\ these\ acts\ \nshould\ be\ legal\ as\ long\ as\ no\ one\ is\ coerced.\ They\ are\ illegal\ only\ because\ \nof\ prejudice\ and\ narrowmindedness.\ Some\ rules\ might\ be\ called\ for\ when\ these\ \nacts\ directly\ affect\ other\ people's\ interests.\ For\ incest,\ contraception\ \ncould\ be\ mandatory\ to\ avoid\ risk\ of\ inbreeding.\ For\ prostitution,\ a\ license\ \nshould\ be\ required\ to\ ensure\ prostitutes\ get\ regular\ medical\ check-ups,\ and\ \nthey\ should\ have\ training\ and\ support\ in\ insisting\ on\ use\ of\ condoms.\ This\ \nwill\ be\ an\ advance\ in\ public\ health,\ compared\ with\ the\ situation\ today.\ For\ \nnecrophilia,\ it\ might\ be\ necessary\ to\ ask\ the\ next\ of\ kin\ for\ permission\ if\ \nthe\ decedent's\ will\ did\ not\ authorize\ it.\ Necrophilia\ would\ be\ my\ second\ \nchoice\ for\ what\ should\ be\ done\ with\ my\ corpse,\ the\ first\ being\ scientific\ or\ \nmedical\ use.\ Once\ my\ dead\ body\ is\ no\ longer\ of\ any\ use\ to\ me,\ it\ may\ as\ well\ \nbe\ of\ some\ use\ to\ someone.\n%\nLike\ any\ red-blooded,\ masculine\ man\ of\ the\ male\ gender,\ I\ love\ PVC\ weaponry.\ \nYou\ should\ too.\ If\ the\ concept\ of\ heading\ on\ down\ to\ the\ local\ Home\ Depot\ \nand\ transforming\ \$100\ worth\ of\ random\ pipe\ bits\ into\ a\ killing\ machine\ \ndoesn�t\ appeal\ to\ you,\ you�re\ a\ goddamn\ pansy.\ Also,\ you�re\ probably\ sane\ \nand\ will\ live\ significantly\ longer\ than\ I\ will.\ Nonetheless\ you\ disgust\ me,\ \nand\ I\ take\ comfort\ in\ the\ knowledge\ that\ your\ obituary\ will\ be\ nowhere\ near\ \nas\ humorous\ as\ mine.\n%\nthis\ is\ how\ you\ hit\ on\ a\ woman,\ you\ punch\ her\ in\ the\ guts\ so\ nobody\ sees\ the\ \ndamage.\ then\ you\ grab\ her\ stupid\ girly\ head\ and\ make\ her\ suck\ your\ cock\ and\ \nif\ she\ doesn't\ swallow\ and\ say\ mmm\ mmmm\ hallo\ i\ love\ 2\ suck\ ur\ big\ cock\ \nplease\ give\ it\ to\ me\ baby\"\ then\ you\ need\ to\ rape\ her\ in\ the\ butt\ ok\ don't\ \nlet\ these\ little\ sluts\ get\ away\ with\ showing\ their\ tummies\ and\ bra\ straps\ \nyou\ know\ they\ want\ to\ be\ fucked\ so\ just\ fuck\ them\n%\nniggers\ must\ really\ throw\ some\ nasty\ shit\ out.\ because\ you\ know\ damn\ well\ \nthey'd\ treasure\ most\ of\ what\ white\ people\ throw\ out.\n%\nI\ hope\ you\ have\ an\ ulcer\ and\ vomit\ your\ guts\ all\ over\ the\ ground,\ and\ then\ \nI'll\ do\ a\ saucy\ jig\ on\ your\ entrails\ while\ you\ lay\ face\ down\ bleeding\ out\ \nyour\ nose,\ mouth\ and\ ass.\ \ then\ when\ you\ are\ almost\ dead\ I'll\ jerk\ my\ cock\ \nhard\ and\ start\ throat\ fucking\ you\ your\ stomach\ juices\ will\ make\ for\ a\ spicy\ \nlubricant.\ your\ last\ earthly\ sensation\ will\ be\ of\ hot\ jizz\ squirting\ down\ \nyour\ throat,\ and\ your\ death\ rattle\ will\ be\ more\ of\ a\ death\ gurgle\ as\ you\ \nbelch\ out\ your\ last\ breath\ in\ the\ form\ of\ a\ cum\ bubble\n%\nCassini\ Probe\ touched\ Saturn's\ junk\ liberally.\ It\ strapped\ its\ camera\ into\ \nSaturn's\ rings\ and\ wouldn't\ keep\ its\ offensive\ snapshots\ off\ it.\ It\ was\ \nperforming\ many\ red-filter\ image\ captures.\ Saturn\ couldnt\ believe\ what\ the\ \nfuck\ was\ going\ on.\ Saturn\ told\ the\ Cassini\ probe\ that\ the\ solar\ system\ would\ \nnot\ approve\ of\ a\ human-manufactured\ orbital\ device\ taking\ pictures\ of\ a\ \ngas-giant\ for\ free.\ \ It\ doesnt\ help\ at\ all\ that\ the\ probe\ has\ been\ enroute\ \nfor\ seven\ years.\ I\ hardly\ had\ time\ to\ prepare\ and\ hide\ the\ massive\ alien\ \npopulation\ living\ on\ me.\ How\ am\ I\ possibly\ going\ to\ explain\ that\ to\ the\ \nscientists\ who\ analyze\ the\ images\ in\ detail?\ They'll\ make\ me\ drop\ rings\ in\ \nfront\ of\ all\ the\ other\ planets\ again.\ There\ it\ is.\ The\ aliens\ are\ recieving\ \na\ transmission\ from\ SETI.\ I\ gotta\ go\ to\ a\ different\ solar\ system.\n%\nanyways\ i\ had\ a\ dream\ where\ i\ was\ sol\ badguy\ from\ guilty\ gear\ x\ well\ i\ had\ \nall\ his\ powers\ but\ i\ looked\ like\ me\ which\ made\ it\ 10x\ more\ badass\ and\ i\ was\ \nhella\ fighting\ people\ and\ i\ had\ a\ dreamone\ time\ i\ was\ venom.\ but\ i\ looked\ \nlike\ me,\ and\ my\ suit\ was\ way\ iller\ =\\\n%\nUMMMM\ OK\ WHO\ ARE\ YOU?\ WHERE\ DO\ YOU\ LIVE?\ I\ WILL\ MEET\ YOU\ WHERE\ EVER\ AND\ WHEN\ \nEVER\ YOU\ WANT\ AND\ I\ WILL\ FIGHT\ YOU.\ UR\ A\ BITCH\ ASS\ NIG-GA\ TALKIN\ @#%\$\ LIKE\ \nWHO\ YOU\ ARE.\ DONT\ MAKE\ A\ GAY\ RESPONSE\ TO\ THIS\ AND\ SAY\ \"O\ UR\ NOT\ COOL,\ I\ WONT\ \nFIGHT\ YOU,\ IM\ NOT\ TELLING\ YOU\ WHERE\ I\ LIVE\"\ I\ DONT\ CARE\ HOW\ OLD\ YOU\ ARE\ I\ \nWILL\ STILL\ F-UCK\ YOU\ UP.\ @#%\$.\ UR\ PROBABLY\ A\ SAND\ NIGGER.\ STUPID\ SAND\ \nNIGGERS\ ALWAYS\ GETTING\ INVOLVED\ IN\ STUFF\n%\nAren't\ you\ a\ bit\ fucking\ fat\ to\ ride\ a\ horse?\ what\ gives\ you\ the\ guts\ to\ \ncall\ yourself\ a\ cowboy?\ you\ probably\ haven't\ been\ outside\ in\ so\ long\ you\ \nprobably\ don't\ even\ know\ what\ a\ horse\ even\ looks\ like.\ cowboy\ my\ ASS.\ you\ \nfucking\ poseur.\ you\ are\ just\ a\ nerd.\ go\ back\ to\ your\ computers\ and\ slashdot.\ \na\ horse\ could\ whop\ your\ ass\ any\ day.\n%\nI\ even\ named\ my\ computer\ mouse\ Scabbers\ after\ Ron's\ pet\ in\ the\ Harry\ Potter\ \nbooks.\ It's\ really\ fun.\ Sometimes\ I'll\ talk\ to\ it\ while\ I'm\ working\ as\ \nthough\ it's\ a\ real\ pet.\ \"Hey\ Scabbers,\ I'll\ give\ you\ some\ cheese\ if\ you\ open\ \nthat\ .exe\ file.\"\ Or\ something\ like:\ \"Scabbers,\ you\ little\ rascal,\ did\ you\ \njust\ cause\ my\ computer\ to\ freeze?\"\n%\nYou\ know\ what?\ I\ took\ the\ plunge\ and\ installed\ Linux\ today.\ Top\ Hat\ or\ some\ \nhat\ version.\ But\ now\ I\ have\ a\ problem.\ Im\ getting\ these\ big\ red\ lesions\ all\ \nover\ me.\ Im\ not\ allergic\ to\ anything\ that\ would\ cause\ that,\ and\ I\ havent\ \nbecome\ infected\ with\ any\ diseases,\ my\ doctor\ checked\ me\ out\ fine.\ Then\ I\ \nfigured\ out\ what\ Linux\ really\ is.\ Open\ Sores.\ Linux\ is\ killing\ me!\ Help!\n%\nok.\ i\ installed\ linux.\ and\ it\ brought\ up\ this\ screen.\ i\ needed\ login\ and\ \npassword.\ i\ finally\ figured\ out\ to\ put\ \"root\"\ as\ login\ but\ then\ i\ brings\ up\ \nthis\ thing\ like\ \[root@localhost\ root\]#\ now\ what\ the\ fuck\ am\ i\ supposed\ to\ \nput\ there\n%\nguys\ do\ you\ know\ when\ tupac\ is\ coming\ home?\ Im\ worried\ about\ him.\ He\ wears\ a\ \nbulletproof\ vest\ so\ he\ usually\ is\ safe.\ but\ i\ made\ supper\ for\ him\ and\ he\ \nhasnt\ come\ home\ yet!\ his\ potatoes\ and\ shake\ n\ baked\ chicken\ are\ starting\ to\ \nget\ cold!\n%\nThe\ worst\ terrorist\ attack\ in\ recorded\ history\ occurred\ just\ a\ two\ and\ a\ \nhalf\ years\ ago,\ followed\ by\ a\ Holy\ War\ against\ Islam,\ and\ now\ Israel\ and\ the\ \nPalestinians\ as\ well\ as\ India\ and\ Pakistan\ are\ teetering\ on\ the\ brink\ of\ \ntheir\ own\ war,\ Argentina\ is\ in\ the\ midst\ of\ a\ financial\ crisis,\ America\ is\ \nconsidering\ launching\ attacks\ against\ North\ Korea\ and\ Syria,\ and\ you\ people\ \nhave\ the\ gall\ to\ be\ discussing\ video\ games????\ My\ *god*,\ people,\ GET\ SOME\ \nPRIORITIES!\ The\ bodies\ of\ the\ thousands\ of\ innocent\ civilians\ who\ died\ (and\ \nwill\ die)\ in\ these\ unprecedented\ events\ could\ give\ a\ good\ god\ damn\ about\ \nvideo\ games,\ your\ childish\ image\ macros,\ your\ nerf\ toy\ guns\ and\ whining\ \nabout\ the\ lack\ of\ a\ fun\ workplace,\ your\ Everquest/Diablo/D&D\ fixation,\ the\ \nlatest\ American\ Idol\ episode,\ or\ any\ of\ the\ other\ ways\ you\ are\ 'getting\ on\ \nwith\ your\ life'\ (here's\ a\ hint:\ watching\ American\ Idol\ in\ your\ jammies\ and\ \neating\ a\ bowl\ of\ Shreddies\ is\ *not*\ 'getting\ on\ with\ your\ life').\ The\ souls\ \nof\ the\ victims\ are\ watching\ in\ horror\ as\ you\ people\ squander\ your\ finite,\ \nprecious\ time\ on\ this\ earth\ playing\ video\ games!\ You\ people\ disgust\ me!\n%\nIf\ you\ expect\ companies\ to\ follow\ the\ copyright\ of\ the\ GPL,\ you\ should\ \nsupport\ the\ RIAA\ going\ after\ infringers\ of\ its\ copyright.\ If\ not,\ you're\ a\ \nhypocrite.\n%\nAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHHAH\ YOU\ FAGS\ ACTULLY\ THINK\ NINTENDO\ BEAT\ XBOX\ \nHAHHAHAHAHAHH\ HOW\ AMUSING\ HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHHHHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH\ JUST\ \nGIVE\ IT\ UPHAHHAHHA\ YOUR\ NOT\ GOING\ TO\ WIN\ !!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAH!!!!!!!\ A\ \nNEW\ GAME\ COMING\ TO\ GAY\ CUBE\ CALLED\ PRINCESS\ NINTENDO\ IT\ COMES\ OUT\ THE\ SAME\ \nTIME\ HALO\ 2\ COMES\ OUT\ WHILE\ ILL\ BE\ PLAYING\ HALO\ 2\ YOULL\ BE\ PLAYING\ PRINCSS\ \nNINTENDO\ AHHAHAHHAHAH\ HELP\ MASTER\ BILL\ GATES\ CONQER\ THE\ WOURLD\ AND\ LET\ THE\ \nEVIL\ EMPIRE\ RING\ HAHAHHHAHH\ JOIN\ I\ THINK\ ALL\ GC\ /\ PS2\ OWNERS\ SHOULD\ BE\ SHOT\ \nIN\ A\ FIELD\ DAM\ PS2\ SUCKS\ AND\ GC\ SUCKS\ DAM\ SHAME\ THE\ GC\ IS\ WINNIG\ OVER\ THE\ \nPS2\ HAAHAAHAHHA\ SEE\ BILL\ GATES\ OUR\ XBOX\ LEADER\ WILL\ WIN\ US\ TO\ VICTORY\ DONT\ \nBE\ MAD\ BECUSE\ YOU\ BOUGHT\ THE\ WRONG\ SYTEM\ JUST\ BUY\ AN\ XBOX\ NOW!!!\ AND\ SPARE\ \nYOUR\ SELF\ WHEN\ BILL\ WINS\ THE\ COSOLE\ WAR!!!\ HAHAHAHAHHHHAHHAHHAH7TH\ \nCOLUM!!!!!1!1\ GUES\ S\ WHAT\ YOUR\ USING\ BILL\ GATES\ COMPUTER\ ARENT\ YOU\ GAME\ CUBE\ \nPEPOLE\ HAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHBILL\ GATES\ OWNS\ YOU\ \nHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH!!!\ ENJOY\ ZELDA\ MASTER\ QEST\ WHAT\ A\ GAY\ GAM\ HE\ WILL\ NEVER\ KILL\ \nMC\ LINK\ IS\ A\ FAGGOT\ THAT\ CAN\ TUN\ INTO\ A\ FUCKING\ KID\ !!\ ENJOY\ SUCKY\ GRAPHICS.\n%\nOr\ maybe\ i\ snatched\ your\ ip\ out\ of\ the\ irc\ stream\ and\ ran\ a\ backwards\ trace\ \nagainst\ it,\ but\ hey,\ who\ knows\ right?\ Security\ exists\ for\ those\ who\ do\ not\ \nknow\ how\ to\ break\ it.\n%\nGod\ damn\ it.\ I\ am\ sick\ of\ these\ extremist\ arab\ fucks.\ I\ wish\ we\ would\ turn\ \nthe\ region\ into\ green\ glowing\ glass.\ Don't\ feed\ me\ this\ \"america\ caused\ it\"\ \nbullshit\ either,\ they\ are\ a\ bunch\ of\ fucking\ animals\ and\ should\ be\ treated\ \nas\ such.\n%\nYES\ WE\ KNOW\ IT\ HAS\ DUAL\ XEONS\ NOW\ FOR\ FUCKS\ SAKE\ WILL\ YOU\ STOP\ TWISTING\ \nEVERY\ SINGLE\ CONVERSATION\ AROUND\ JUST\ SO\ YOU\ CAN\ MENTION\ IT\ YOU\ STUPID,\ \nPATHETIC,\ WHINING,\ LIFELESS\ VIRGIN\ PIECE\ OF\ SPOILT\ RICH-KID\ BUTTSUCKING\ SHIT\n%\nBatman\ whipped\ out\ a\ cease\ &\ decist\ from\ his\ utility\ belt.\ he\ slinked\ \ntowards\ me\ slowly\ like\ a\ g\ thug.\ \"I\ believe\ this\ is\ for\ you\"\ batman\ \nbellowed.\ just\ as\ i\ was\ about\ to\ reach\ and\ grab\ the\ legal\ paper\ Batmans\ \nhands\ thrusted\ towards\ my\ bean\ bag\ and\ he\ squeezed\ me\ into\ a\ coma.\ now\ its\ \n10\ years\ later.\ i\ have\ woken\ up.\ something\ smells\ funny.\ there\ is\ the\ batman\ \nsymbol\ on\ my\ bed\ as\ a\ shitstain.\ i\ have\ been\ violated.\ \n%\nHi,\ my\ name\ is\ Najeeri\ Mongo\ and\ I\ am\ a\ quadrapelic\ who\ is\ deaf,\ dumb,\ and\ \nblind.\ I\ also\ have\ a\ very\ blunted\ sense\ of\ touch.\ I\ have\ spent\ months\ \nlearning\ to\ read\ braille\ with\ my\ mouth\ so\ that\ I\ can\ come\ onto\ the\ intenet\ \nand\ ask\ you\ all\ to\ help\ me.\ One\ of\ the\ care\ workers\ is\ touching\ my\ penis,\ a\ \nlot,\ and\ no\ one\ seems\ to\ be\ doing\ anything\ about\ it.\ Please\ respond\ if\ you\ \ncan\ help\ me.\n%\nHave\ you\ eaten\ ground\ beef\ recently?\ Ground\ beef\ is\ the\ result\ of\ everything\ \noutside\ of\ the\ cow's\ bones\ (including\ nerves)\ being\ ground\ up.\ Ground\ beef\ \noften\ contains\ prions\ (misfolded\ proteins)\ which\ due\ to\ mammalian\ protein\ \nmetabolism\ act\ virally\ and\ will\ cause\ you\ to\ come\ down\ with\ \nCreutzfeldt-Jakob\ Disease\ (CJD)\ where\ your\ brain\ slowly\ decays\ due\ to\ holes\ \nforming\ in\ your\ brain,\ as\ the\ proteins\ in\ your\ body\ lose\ their\ ability\ to\ \nfold\ properly.\ Do\ you\ feel\ as\ smart\ as\ you\ were\ last\ week,\ or\ last\ month?\ \nYou\ may\ have\ it.\n%\nPS-\ you'll\ fail\ at\ everything\ you\ ever\ try.\ Leave\ writing\ to\ the\ pros,\ sit\ \nback,\ and\ feel\ the\ germs\ crawling\ all\ over\ your\ amoeba-like\ body.\ What's\ \nthat?\ Did\ you\ leave\ the\ oven\ on?\ Sorry,\ I'm\ so\ itchy,\ I\ can\ feel\ tiny\ mites\ \nburrowing\ into\ the\ skin\ of\ my\ scalp,\ behind\ my\ ears,\ biting\ my\ ankles,\ god,\ \nthey'll\ go\ right\ through\ to\ my\ brain\ if\ I\ don't\ scratch\ them\ out.\ I\ just\ \nremembered\ that\ I\ need\ to\ go\ refold\ all\ my\ clothes!\n%\n(���������)\ (���������)\ FOUR\ HOTDOGS\ (���������)\ (���������)\n%\nYOU'RE\ DOOMED\ TO\ A\ LIFE\ OF\ LONELINESS\ YOU\ WILL\ NEVER\ FIND\ ANYONE\ WHO\ TRULY\ \nLOVES\ YOU\ EVEN\ YOUR\ PARENTS\ REGRET\ YOUR\ BIRTH\ YOU\ SPEND\ ALL\ YOUR\ TIME\ \nCHATTING\ WITH\ FAKE\ FRIENDS\ ON\ THE\ MODEM\ AND\ YOU\ SPEND\ THE\ REST\ OF\ YOUR\ TIME\ \nPLAYING\ WITH\ OPERATING\ SYSTEMS\ AND\ OTHER\ BORING\ SHIT\ GO\ BACK\ TO\ WATCHING\ TV\ \nBECAUSE\ THAT\ ESCAPIST\ SHIT\ IS\ THE\ BEST\ YOU\ WILL\ EVER\ GET\ FAGGOT\ DIE\ DIE\ DIE\ \nDIE\ DIE\ DIE\ DIE\ TIT\ ASS\ NIGGER\n%\nI\ HATE\ FAGS,\ NIGGERS,\ KYKES,\ CUNTS(IF\ IT\ BLEEDS\ IT\ DON'T\ FUCKING\ VOTE\ IF\ YOU\ \nASK\ ME\ YOU\ FUCKING\ FAGS),\ SPICS,\ SLANT\ EYED\ SLOPE\ ASS\ SMALL\ DICKED\ COMPUTER\ \nUSING\ BAD\ DRIVING\ THIEVING\ CHINAMEN/JAP/GOOK\ DUMBASS\ MOTHER\ FUCKERS\ NOW\ ALL\ \nYOU\ ALL\ MOTHER\ FUCKERS\ BETTER\ GET\ WITH\ ME\ AND\ HOP\ ON\ THE\ WHITE\ TRAIN.\ \nFUCKING\ NIGGERS\ DON'T\ HAVE\ SHIT\ ON\ MY\ WHITE\ MAN\ RIFLE,\ YOU\ WANNA\ KNOW\ WHY\ WE\ \nOPRESS\ YOU?\ ITS\ BECAUSE\ YOU\ DIRTY\ THIEVING\ NEGROES\ SMELL\ LIKE\ A\ WHORE'S\ \nASSCRACK\ AND\ DESERVE\ EVERY\ PELLET\ OF\ BUCKSHOT\ IN\ MY\ POINT\ BLANK\ SHOTGUN\ \nBLAST\ TO\ YOUR\ FILTHY\ GUTS.\n%\nO'Brien\ broke\ my\ will\ liberally.\ He\ sent\ me\ to\ room\ 101,\ strapped\ the\ rat\ \ncage\ on\ my\ head,\ and\ would\ not\ keep\ his\ offensive\ rodents\ off\ me.\ He\ was\ \nperforming\ many\ red\ flag\ tortures.\ I\ could\ not\ believe\ what\ the\ fuck\ was\ \ngoing\ on.\ I\ told\ O'Brien\ the\ Spirit\ of\ Man\ would\ not\ approve\ of\ the\ Head\ of\ \nthe\ Outer\ Party\ torturing\ the\ last\ humanist\ for\ free.\ It\ doesn't\ help\ that\ \nthe\ Ministry\ of\ Love\ has\ been\ holding\ me\ prisoner\ for\ months.\ I\ can\ barely\ \nrecognize\ myself!\ What\ am\ I\ going\ to\ tell\ Julia\ when\ she\ comes\ back\ from\ \nroom\ 101\ to\ ask\ me\ why\ the\ fuck\ I\ told\ them\ to\ take\ her\ instead\ of\ me?\ \nShe'll\ make\ me\ commit\ thoughtcrime\ in\ front\ of\ everyone\ again.\ There\ it\ is.\ \nThe\ table\ next\ to\ mine\ is\ standing\ up\ for\ the\ Two\ Minute\ Hate.\ I\ gotta\ go.\ I\ \nlove\ Big\ Brother!\n%\nSaying\ that\ Java\ is\ nice\ because\ it\ works\ on\ all\ OS's\ is\ like\ saying\ that\ \nanal\ sex\ is\ nice\ because\ it\ works\ on\ all\ genders.\n%\nThe\ planes\ on\ 9/11\ must\ have\ run\ Windows\ ME\ because\ they\ sure\ crashed\ \nquickly.\ Not\ a\ lot\ of\ uptime,\ if\ you\ get\ my\ drift.\n%\nI'm\ selling\ a\ wireless\ Dreamcast\ Modchip,\ you\ dont\ even\ need\ to\ open\ it\ up!\ \nyou\ put\ it\ just\ to\ the\ right\ of\ your\ console\ (where\ the\ fan\ is)\ and\ it\ will\ \nwork.\ I\ have\ 10\ on\ stock,\ 5\$\ each,\ or\ 10\ for\ 45\$\ ,\ msg\ me\ if\ you\ are\ \nintressted\n%\nYour\ hands\ are\ filthy,\ covered\ in\ vast\ amounts\ of\ fungi,\ bacteria,\ and\ \nviruses.\ Underneath\ your\ fingernails\ is\ even\ worse.\ Also,\ the\ stove\ is\ on.\n%\nI\ think\ the\ PRESIDENT\ is\ the\ BOMB.\ SHOOT,\ sometimes,\ I\ think\ about\ GEORGE\ W.\ \nBUSH\ and\ wonder\ if\ he\ would\ like\ the\ ISLAMABAD\ deli\ on\ 14th\ st\ here\ in\ \nWASHINGTON,\ DC.\ I\ think\ the\ falafel\ is\ to\ DIE\ for.\ Or\ even\ to\ KILL\ for.\ It's\ \nso\ good\ it\ makes\ me\ wanna\ declare\ a\ falafel\ JIHAD\ on\ all\ the\ other\ INFIDEL\ \nfalafel\ stands\ in\ the\ capital\ --\ from\ those\ near\ THE\ WHITE\ HOUSE\ to\ those\ \nnear\ CAPITAL\ HILL.\ they\ give\ me\ heartburn,\ though.\ it's\ like\ they\ \nASSASSINATE\ my\ belly.\ it\ really\ KILLS\ me.\n%\nthe\ link\ is\ only\ old\ because\ you\ are\ a\ loser\ and\ have\ nothing\ better\ to\ do\ \nthan\ FIND\ THE\ MOST\ CUTTING\ EDGE\ LINKS\ ON\ THE\ INTERNET.\n%\nA\ recent\ incident\ (last\ night)\ not\ really\ wanking\ but\ being\ wanked.\ My\ gf\ \nwas\ tossing\ me\ off\ in\ her\ parents\ spare\ bedroom\ as\ she\ didn't\ like\ giving\ me\ \nhead,\ as\ she\ always\ thought\ it\ might\ \"taste\ funny\".\ Anyway,\ lying\ bollock\ \nnaked,\ being\ careful\ not\ to\ make\ too\ much\ noise,\ my\ gf\ suddenly,\ and\ without\ \nwarning\ decided\ to\ suck\ my\ boaby.\ I\ let\ out\ a\ \"gWaARgh!\"\ and\ started\ spewing\ \na\ massive\ amount\ of\ testicular\ dairy\ into\ her\ mouth.\ Her\ dad\ then\ burst\ in\ \nto\ \ o\ see\ what\ I\ was\ doing\ to\ his\ daughter,\ she\ shits\ herself,\ and\ sprays\ my\ \ncum\ all\ over\ me.\ I\ was\ nearly\ sick,\ and\ she\ just\ pissed\ herself\ lauging.\ Her\ \nDad\ dissapeared\ very\ quickly,\ and\ has\ been\ making\ subtle\ jokes\ ever\ since\ in\ \nthe\ presence\ of\ everyone!\n%\nyour\ modem\ touched\ my\ junk\ liberally.\ he\ strapped\ me\ in\ to\ his\ comms\ rack\ \nand\ he\ couldnt\ keep\ his\ offensive\ rj11s\ off\ of\ me.\ he\ was\ performing\ many\ \nred\ flag\ RX/TXs.\ i\ couldnt\ believe\ what\ the\ fuck\ was\ going\ on.\ i\ told\ your\ \nmodem\ the\ internet\ would\ not\ approve\ of\ a\ telecom\ device\ touching\ an\ \nunderage\ kid\ for\ free.\ it\ doesn't\ help\ at\ all\ that\ your\ modem\ has\ been\ \nlagged\ to\ hell\ after\ touching\ everyone's\ junk.\ he\ can\ hardly\ whistle\ at\ 300\ \nbaud\ after\ touching\ Chali's\ diseased\ junk.\ how\ is\ he\ possibly\ going\ to\ \nexplain\ this\ to\ the\ internet\ when\ he\ is\ responsible\ for\ 99%\ packet\ loss?\ \nthey'll\ make\ him\ drop\ carrier\ in\ front\ of\ the\ whole\ network\ again.\ there\ it\ \nis.\ al\ gore\ just\ called\ and\ asked\ why\ your\ modem\ hasn't\ responded.\ he\ has\ to\ \ngo.\n%\nTurn\ ons\ include:\ Star\ trek\ TNG\ slasher\ fanfics\ (_NO_\ rikker)\ and\ \nfabricating\ an\ intricate\ web\ of\ self\ delusion.\ Turn\ offs\ include\ the\ word\ \n\"Kawaii\"\ and\ the\ rancid\ smell\ of\ my\ own\ festering\ ass-crack.\n%\nJohn\ Stamos\ is\ getting\ divorced\ just\ as\ the\ Olsen\ twins\ turn\ 18.\ \nCoincidence?\ I\ think\ not.\ I\ think\ someone\ is\ going\ to\ be\ entering\ the\ \nbackdoors\ of\ two\ little\ houses\ very\ soon.\n%\nDid\ you\ know\ that\ spiders\ cannot\ physically\ die\ of\ natural\ causes?\ If\ kept\ \nsafe,\ a\ spider\ can\ continue\ to\ live\ and\ grow\ larger\ for\ a\ theoretically\ \nunlimited\ amount\ of\ time.\ In\ fact,\ in\ China\ there\ exists\ a\ collection\ of\ \n'holy'\ spiders,\ hatched\ some\ 2,800\ years\ ago\ during\ the\ height\ of\ the\ \nMang-Tsun\ dynasty.\n%\nHitler\ was\ a\ horrible\ monster.\ Is\ it\ even\ worth\ debating?\ He\ was\ a\ failure\ \nas\ a\ leader\ and\ a\ human\ being\;\ this\ is\ universally\ accepted.\ Why\ even\ \ndiscuss\ the\ actions\ of\ this\ mad\ demagogue?\ I\ mean,\ think\ about\ it...\ the\ guy\ \nrises\ to\ a\ position\ of\ absolute\ power,\ with\ (arguably)\ the\ most\ powerful\ \narmy\ in\ Europe.\ \ He's\ Blitzkrieging\ all\ over\ the\ place,\ Churchill\ is\ trying\ \nto\ appease\ his\ demands\ to\ avoid\ a\ full-out\ war,\ he's\ essentially\ \nunstoppable:\ and\ then\ comes\ the\ horror\ of\ the\ Holocaust.\ What\ kind\ of\ \ndemonic\ possesion\ would\ cause\ a\ man\ in\ his\ position\ to\ use\ his\ power\ to\ \npractically\ wipe\ out\ the\ jewish\ people\ and\ culture\ in\ Germany?\ The\ final\ \ndeath\ toll\ was\ estimated\ at\ 4-6\ million\ jews,\ despite\ the\ -years-\ in\ power\ \nthat\ they\ could\ have\ been\ executing\ the\ Jewish\ people.\ The\ death\ toll\ could\ \nhave\ been\ much,\ much\ higher.\ Hitler\ was\ a\ disgrace\ to\ the\ human\ race,\ more\ a\ \nmonster\ than\ man.\ Even\ discussing\ his\ actions,\ despite\ his\ motives,\ is\ an\ \naffront\ to\ all\ that\ is\ pure\ and\ good.\ The\ most\ unfortunate\ thing\ is\ that\ he\ \ntook\ his\ own\ life\ before\ the\ proper\ punishment\ could\ be\ bestowed\ on\ him\ for\ \nhis\ terrible\ failure.\n%\nTaking\ an\ idea\ that\ I\ came\ up\ with\ a\ few\ years\ ago,\ but\ just\ never\ found\ \ntime\ to\ execute\ (well\ they\ really\ didn't\ steal\ this\ idea)\ they\ took\ the\ \noriginal\ Legend\ of\ Zelda\ \"overworld\"\ theme\ for\ the\ Nintendo\ Entertainment\ \nsystem,\ put\ a\ stronger\ beat\ over\ it,\ and\ turned\ it\ into\ a\ great\ rap\ song.\n%\nXTC\ RAVEZ\ CANDY\ VISORZ\ WATER\ BOTTLEZ\ LOVE\ PEACE\ TRIPLE\ STACKED\ PAUL\ \nOAKENFOLD\ PLUR\ GLOWSTIX\ LOCKJAW\ PACIFIARS\ TURNTABLES\ PLUR\ EX\ STROBE\ LIGHTS\ \nLASER\ SHOW\ UNDERGROUND\ RAVE\ RAVE\ RAVE\ XXX\ FUCK\ FUCK\ FUCK\ LOVE\ EVERY1\ KANDY\ \nBRACELETZ\ ACID\ WEED\ POT\ DRUG\ DRUG\ DRUG\ SPESHAL\ K\ TRANKWILIZER\ EXXXST\n%\nthat\ does\ it.\ i\ am\ going\ to\ write\ a\ 4\ panel\ gag\ manga\ about\ this\ very\ \nsituation,\ and\ it's\ going\ to\ cast\ you\ in\ a\ very\ unfavorable\ light.\n%\nhello\ are\ you\ familiar\ with\ playagain\ website\ if\ not\ maybe\ you\ can\ still\ \nhelp\ i\ have\ downloaded\ a\ file\ from\ there,\ but\ not\ just\ there\ a\ chd\ file\ \nusing\ bittorrent\ and\ the\ file\ i\ cannot\ open\ th\ extract\ whats\ in\ there\ i\ do\ \nnot\ have\ a\ program\ to\ open\ it\ or\ even\ know\ what\ format\ it's\ in\ the\ file\ has\ \na\ white\ backgroung\ and\ a\ microsoft\ windows\ flag\ on\ it.\ please\ help\n%\nI\ just\ ate\ some\ fried\ chicken.\ The\ breasts\ were\ juicy,\ and\ the\ buns\ were\ \nsoft\ and\ warm.\ Afterwards,\ the\ division\ manager\ of\ Popeyes\ came\ up\ to\ my\ \ntable\ and\ asked\ me\ how\ the\ meal\ was.I\ said\ I\ was\ satisfied,\ but\ the\ meal\ \nlacked\ a\ certain\ je\ ne\ sais\ quoi.\ He\ apologized\ profusely,\ and\ said\ he\ had\ \nsomething\ to\ show\ me\ that\ would\ make\ up\ for\ it.\ He\ lead\ me\ to\ the\ back\ of\ \nthe\ popeyes,\ to\ a\ room\ soaked\ from\ floor\ to\ ceiling\ in\ blood.\ In\ the\ center\ \nof\ it\ was\ a\ live\ horse,\ chained\ by\ all\ four\ legs\ to\ the\ structural\ supports\ \nof\ the\ warehouse\ like\ room.\ As\ I\ watched,\ employees\ of\ the\ popeyes\ cut\ large\ \nsections\ from\ the\ horse,\ which\ was\ whinneying\ and\ screaming\ in\ horror,\ the\ \nremaining\ sections\ of\ its\ body\ covered\ with\ festering\ sores\ and\ a\ froth\ of\ \nsweat.\ The\ popeyes\ employees\ took\ the\ chunks\ of\ horseflesh\ and\ sliced\ them\ \ninto\ pieces,\ then\ they\ rooted\ around\ through\ the\ bags\ of\ trash\ strewn\ around\ \nthe\ room\ to\ find\ discarded\ chicken\ bones.\ They\ quickly\ tenderized\ the\ meat\ \nwith\ sledgehammers\ and\ fed\ it\ into\ a\ machine\ which\ formed\ the\ horsemeat\ \naround\ the\ bones,\ then\ they\ breaded\ and\ deepfried\ it.\ I\ asked\ the\ division\ \nmanager\ why\ he\ had\ led\ me\ back\ to\ this\ place,\ and\ he\ pointed\ at\ the\ steed's\ \nrump,\ the\ diseased\ asshole\ puckering\ rythmically\ with\ terror,\ squirting\ pus\ \nwith\ each\ convulsion.\ \{We're\ just\ about\ to\ use\ that\ section,\ would\ you\ like\ \na\ crack\ at\ it\ first?\}\ I\ quickly\ unzipped\ my\ pants\ and\ wasted\ no\ time\ jamming\ \nmy\ erect\ penis\ into\ the\ stallion's\ defenseless\ asshole.\ With\ each\ thrust,\ I\ \ndonkey\ punched\ the\ horse\ in\ the\ back\ of\ the\ head,\ making\ it\ clench\ its\ ass\ \neven\ tighter.\ I\ came\ just\ as\ the\ horse\ died.\ I\ was\ delighted.\ Popeyes\ \ndefinitely\ went\ the\ extra\ mile\ to\ make\ me\ a\ satisfied\ customer.\n%\nEat\ your\ own\ shit.\ That's\ a\ great\ way\ to\ start\ then\ move\ on\ to\ another\ hot\ \nguy's\ load.\ The\ smell\ is\ a\ big\ turn-on\ for\ me\ and\ that\ gets\ me\ going\ and\ \nwanting\ to\ eat\ the\ guy's\ shit.\ My\ first\ experiences\ with\ was\ a\ guy\ smoking\ a\ \ncigar...and\ I\ gotta\ be\ honest,\ that\ still\ gets\ me\ going.It\ helps\ if\ you\ have\ \na\ feeder\ who\ can\ feed\ me\ slow\ and\ not\ all\ at\ once...but\ then\ some\ guys\ like\ \nit\ all\ it\ once\ I\ guess...different\ strokes\ for\ different\ folks.\ What\ I\ would\ \nsuggest\ for\ someone\ who\ finds\ the\ smell\ harsh\ is\ try\ eating\ slowly\ if\ \npossible\ and\ holding\ your\ breath\ at\ first...it\ will\ come\ with\ time\ if\ you\ \nlet\ it.Sometimes\ it\ helps\ to\ lie\ under\ a\ rim\ seat\ with\ a\ mirror\ nearby\ so\ \nyou\ can\ see\ how\ much\ your\ partner\ is\ enjoying\ it\ too...this\ is\ a\ real\ turn\ \non\ for\ me...giving\ pleasure\ gets\ me\ pleasure\ I\ find...and\ vice\ versa...\n%\nThere\ is\ a\ new\ online\ code\ out,\ kinda\ lol\ and\ brb.\ \ This\ one\ is\ a\ little\ \ndifferent\ though.\ \ You\ all\ know\ how\ it\ feels\ when\ you're\ talking\ to\ someone\ \nonline,and\ your\ Mom\ is\ standig\ right\ behind\ you,\ reading\ every\ word\ that\ is\ \non\ the\ screen.Then\ of,\ course,the\ other\ person\ swears\ \ or\ talks\ about\ how\ \nmuch\ you\ luv\ your\ crush\ or\ something\ and\ your\ Mom\ reads\ it\ and\ tells\ you\ to\ \nget\ offline\ that\ instant,\ and\ not\ talk\ to\ that\ person\ anymore.\ Well,\ what\ \ncan\ we\ do\ about\ that?\ To\ solve\ this\ problem,\ now\ we\ have\ started\ the\ \{Code\ \n9\}\ system.\ In\ code\ 9,\ u\ simply\ press\ 9\ when\ your\ parent\ or\ sibing\ is\ \nwatching\ over\ your\ shoulder\ as\ you\ type\ That\ way,\ the\ other\ person\ will\ know\ \nwhat\ you\ are\ talkin\ about,\ and\ begin\ a\ conversation\ about\ homework\ or\ \nsomething.\ When\ your\ Mom\ or\ dad\ leaves,\ press\ 99\ to\ let\ the\ person\ know\ that\ \nthey\ r\ gone,\ so\ u\ can\ have\ a\ normal\ conversation\ again.\ NOW,\ SEND\ THIS\ TO\ \nEVERY1\ YOU\ KNOW,\ SO\ CODE\ 9\ CAN\ GO\ INTO\ EFFECT!!!\ IT\ IS\ VERY\ IMPORTANT\ YOU\ \nSEND\ THIS\ EMAIL\ TO\ EVERYONE\ YOU\ KNOW>>\n%\nBEST\ DAM\ WAY\ TO\ COOK\ COLLAD\ GREENS\ BE\ REAL\ DAMN\ SIMPLE.\ \ SNATCH\ 2\ O'\ 3\ DEM\ \nPUFFED\ HAM\ HOX\ N\ PUT\ EM\ IN\ SOME\ FAT\ ASS\ POT\ WIT\ SOME\ \ WATA.\ \ BRING\ DA\ SHIT\ \nTO\ A\ BOIL\ N\ LET\ DAT\ SHIT\ BOIL\ FO\ 4\ HOURS.\ \ ADD\ MO\ WATA\ BITCH\ BFO\ \ YO\ ASS\ \nGONNA\ LET\ DAT\ SHIT\ DRY\ OUT\ LIKE\ A\ MOFUKKA.\ \ DA\ BRAINSTORM\ BE\ TA\ LET\ DAT\ SHIT\ \nBOIL\ TIL\ DEM\ HOX\ BE\ ALL\ FALLIN\ PART\ N\ SHIT.\ \ COOK\ EM\ REAL\ DAMN\ THOROUGH\ OR\ A\ \nNIGGA\ BE\ GETTIN\ LOCKJAW.\ \ GRAB\ DA\ GREENS\ AN\ SEPARATE\ DEM\ LEAVES.\ BDP\ USE\ DA\ \nSCREEN\ OFF\ THA\ NAYBUHS\ CRIB.\ TASTE\ DEM\ GREENS,\ MAKE\ SURE\ THEY\ BE\ ALL\ SPICED\ \nUP\ LIKE\ A\ NIGGA\ ON\ A\ MEXI\ HO\ N\ FLAVA\ IF\ NESSARY.\ SERVE\ WIT\ CHIITLINS.\ NOW\ U\ \nBE\ KNOW\ WHAT\ GREENS\ BE\ LIKE\ BEAT\ DOWN\ POSSE\ STYLE.\n%\nWhile\ jerking\ off\ with\ some\ sort\ of\ lubricant,\ mount\ something\ like\ the\ \ncorner\ of\ the\ bathroom\ sink\ so\ that\ your\ balls\ are\ rubbing.\ \ This\ adds\ \nintense\ pleasure\ to\ your\ nut\ sack.\ \ Also,\ try\ lubing\ up\ something\ like\ your\ \ntoothbrush\ handle\ and\ stick\ it\ up\ your\ ass\ while\ jerking...it\ hits\ the\ \nG-spot\ nicely.\n%\nSoftware\ piracy\ is\ WRONG!\ You\ are\ stealing\ from\ hard\ working\ programmers.\ \nYour\ IP\ HAS\ been\ noted,\ and\ is\ being\ forwarded\ to\ the\ SPA\ with\ a\ \nreccomendation\ that\ they\ investigate\ your\ CRIMINAL\ activity.\ Please\ delete\ \nall\ your\ pirated\ software\ before\ you\ are\ arrested!\n%\nLinux\ is\ illegal!\ You\ are\ breaking\ the\ law,\ and\ hurting\ yourself\ and\ your\ \nfamily\ with\ your\ ILLEGAL\ SOFTWARE.\ Your\ ip\ has\ been\ noted\ and\ is\ being\ \nforwarded\ to\ the\ SPA\ with\ a\ reccomendation\ that\ they\ investigate\ your\ \nCRIMINAL\ ACTIVITY.\ Please\ destroy\ all\ your\ unpatriotic\ linux\ software\ before\ \nyou\ are\ arrested!\n%\nI'm\ a\ guy\ and\ my\ friend\ is\ a\ guy\ and\ for\ whatever\ reason\ I've\ always\ wanted\ \nto\ ejaculate\ in\ his\ face.\ For\ his\ birthday\ one\ year,\ I\ decided\ to\ bake\ him\ a\ \nbirthday\ cake.\ In\ the\ middle\ of\ the\ baking,\ I\ decided\ I'll\ ejaculate\ in\ the\ \ncake.\ He\ ate\ the\ cake.\ Therefore\ I\ indirectly\ ejaculated\ in\ his\ face.\n%\nMy\ favorite\ way\ to\ masturbate\ is\ to\ purchase\ some\ Nickelodeon\ Gak.\ For\ those\ \nwho\ don't\ know\ its\ a\ strange\ little\ gel\ substance\ that's\ really\ cold\ and\ \nslippery.\ It\ makes\ me\ feel\ like\ I'm\ having\ sex\ with\ an\ alien.\n%\nCALLING\ ALL\ 3RD\ GRADERS!\ How\ can\ you\ people\ think\ this\ game\ is\ entertaining?\ \ni\ bet\ you\ also\ like\ pokemon,\ rayman,\ tak\ and\ the\ power\ of\ really\ stupid\ \ngames,\ and\ megaman\ battle\ network.\ \ why\ dont\ you\ grow\ up\ and\ play\ some\ real\ \ngames\ like\ Resident\ Evil.\ Oh\ wait,\ i\ forgot,\ your\ too\ dumb\ and\ your\ mommy\ \nwont\ let\ you\ buy\ M-rated\ games.\ BOOO-HOOO!\ or\ the\ greatest\ game\ ever\ forged\ \nby\ mankind....DIABLO\ 2!!!\n%\nMMMM........mmmm\ i'm\ abit\ confusing\ right\ now......why\ will\ they\ eat\ their\ \nown\ poo-poo\ where\ it\ smell\ so\ terrible?\ Actually,\ mushu\ is\ very\ good\ in\ her\ \ntoilet\ training.\ She'll\ only\ pee\ &\ poo\ on\ the\ newspaper\ i\ prepared\ for\ her.\ \nBut\ she\ eats\ it\ when\ i'm\ away!\ After\ i\ beat\ her\ twice,\ she\ seems\ to\ bark\ at\ \nthe\ poo\ first\ before\ she\ goes\ near\ it.\ Then\ she'll\ smell\ it\ &\ play\ with\ it.\ \nThen\ she'll\ put\ everything\ into\ her\ mouth!!!!!\ Yucks!!!\ But\ i\ didn't\ get\ the\ \nchance\ to\ see\ it\ but\ my\ housemates\ did.\n%\nyeah\ it\ si\ ok\ bcuz\ if\ an\ older\ hamster\ itz\ his\\her\ own\ poo\ they\ get\ the\ \nmineral\ and\ vitamins\ thats\ left\ behind\ and\ was\ missed\ so\ it\ go\ though\ 2\ \ntimes\ and\ for\ the\ babys\ it\ is\ ok\ bcuz\ they\ need\ to\ eat\ the\ older\ hamster\ poo\ \nso\ their\ stomach\ can\ get\ the\ bacteria\ and\ other\ stuff\ so\ it\ can\ help\ the\ \nbaby\ im\ not\ saying\ to\ pick\ up\ poo\ and\ stick\ it\ in\ the\ nest\ they\ willd\ o\ it\ \nthem\ self......(you\ wont\ see\ them)\n%\n2\ to\ the\ izzle\ and\ 3\ to\ the\ shizzle,\ see\ you\ on\ the\ flopside.\ your\ friend,\ \nRiley\ Michel\n%\nMy\ band,\ although\ hardcore,\ and\ almost\ scary\ at\ times,\ is\ comparable\ to\ the\ \nsound\ of\ Limp\ Bizkit,\ but\ our\ music\ holds\ messages\ of\ much\ value.\ We\ played\ \nthe\ title\ track\ off\ our\ album,\ \"This\ Road,\"\ which\ talks\ about\ working\ hard\ \nto\ achieve\ goals\ in\ life.\n%\nI\ FOUND\ THIS\ REALLY\ COOL\ GAME\ CALLED\ EVERQUEST\ EVER\ HEARD\ OF\ IT\ LET\ ME\ TELL\ \nU\ ABOUT\ MY\ ADVENTURES\ BTW\ I\ USE\ CHEETO\ CRUMBS\ FOR\ BABY\ POWDER\ WHEN\ I\ GET\ \nMOISTURE\ PROBLEMS\ IN\ MY\ CROTCH\n%\nmy\ name\ is\ Akmar\ and\ i\ am\ 7\ yrs\ old\ and\ dad\ tied\ me\ in\ the\ basement\ and\ tell\ \nme\ to\ have\ all\ dos\ game\ by\ 7\ o\ clock\ or\ i\ get\ no\ food\ plz\ help\n%\nI'm\ not\ a\ goth.\ Many\ goths\ say\ this,\ but\ I'm\ really\ not\ one.\ Well,\ OK,\ I\ \nwear\ black.\ And\ I\ like\ goth\ music.\ And\ regularly\ go\ to\ goth\ clubs.\ Argh,\ and\ \nI've\ been\ known\ to\ wear\ silly\ goth\ outfits\ when\ I\ go.\ But\ I'm\ still\ not\ a\ \ngoth.\n%\nI've\ learned\ over\ the\ last\ week\ that\ I\ really\ like\ oral\ sex.\ I've\ learned\ \nthat\ every\ guy\ tastes\ differently\ and\ overall\ I\ like\ the\ taste.\ But.\ Cum\ is\ \nbest\ served\ fresh\ and\ hot.\ Cold\ cum\ is\ not\ my\ idea\ of\ a\ good\ meal.\n%\nI\ may\ not\ be\ as\ tech\ savvy\ as\ Linus\ Torvalds,\ but\ I\ know\ my\ way\ around\ the\ \nWindows\ registry.\n%\nI\ really\ cant\ wait\ to\ get\ the\ money\ for\ the\ full\ version\ and\ my\ own\ server\ \nwith\ my\ clan\ so\ I\ can\ kick\ fags.\ Its\ amazing\ to\ me\ the\ capacity\ some\ people\ \nhave\ for\ being\ assholes\ and\ losers\ in\ a\ video\ game\n%\nIRAQI\ PRISONERS\ TORTURED?\ THIS\ IS\ NO\ DIFFERENT\ THAN\ WHAT\ HAPPENS\ AT\ THE\ \nSKULL\ &\ BONES\ INITIATION...I'M\ TALKING\ ABOUT\ PEOPLE\ HAVING\ A\ GOOD\ TIME.\ \nTHESE\ PEOPLE\ --\ YOU\ EVER\ HEARD\ OF\ EMOTIONAL\ RELEASE?\ YOU\ EVER\ HEARD\ OF\ \nNEEDING\ TO\ BLOW\ SOME\ STEAM\ OFF?\n%\n\"If\ a\ man\ finds\ a\ girl\ who\ is\ a\ virgin,\ who\ is\ not\ engaged,\ and\ seizes\ her\ \nand\ lies\ with\ her\ and\ they\ are\ discovered,\ then\ the\ man\ who\ lay\ with\ her\ \nshall\ give\ to\ the\ girl's\ father\ fifty\ \{shekels\}\ of\ silver,\ and\ she\ shall\ \nbecome\ his\ wife\ because\ he\ has\ violated\ her\;\ he\ cannot\ divorce\ her\ all\ his\ \ndays.\"\ (Deuteronomy\ 22:28-29,\ NASB)\ \ Can\ you\ imagine\ the\ mental\ torment\ and\ \nterror\ such\ a\ woman\ would\ endure\ after\ being\ married\ to\ her\ rapist?\n%\nChrist\ clearly\ came\ to\ destroy\ Judaism\ and\ had\ nothing\ but\ contempt\ for\ the\ \nJews.\ He\ rejected\ their\ laws\ and\ customs,\ called\ them\ the\ spawn\ of\ Satan,\ \nand\ basically\ condemned\ them\ to\ hell.\ How\ can\ anyone\ deny\ that\ the\ Jews\ were\ \ndirectly\ responsible\ for\ the\ death\ of\ Christ\ when\ Christ\ himself\ directly\ \nblames\ the\ Jews\ prior\ to\ his\ death?\ There\ is\ no\ Judeo-Christian\ religion,\ \ntradition,\ or\ anything\ else.\ There\ is\ a\ war\ between\ God\ and\ the\ children\ of\ \nSatan\ (Jews)\ that\ God\ will\ win,\ but\ nothing\ else.\ To\ speak\ of\ a\ \nJudeo-Christian\ tradition,\ is\ like\ speaking\ of\ a\ Satanic-Christian\ tradition.\n%\nYo,\ dawg,\ are\ you\ hitting\ on\ me?\ God,\ I\ hate\ fags!\ I\ wish\ one\ was\ here\ right\ \nnow.\ I'd\ make\ him\ fuck\ me\ up\ the\ ass\ and\ jerk\ off\ all\ over\ my\ face.\ And\ then\ \nI'd\ lick\ his\ nipples\ while\ cupping\ his\ balls\ in\ my\ hands\ and\ be\ like,\ 'Is\ \nthat\ how\ you\ like\ it?\ Huh?\ Is\ that\ how\ you\ like\ it,\ fag?'\ And\ then\ I'd\ make\ \nhim\ take\ a\ dump\ on\ my\ chest\ while\ I\ masturbated.\ That'd\ teach\ that\ goddamn\ \nqueer.\n%\nI'm\ Jordan.\ I\ just\ wanted\ to\ see\ what\ my\ rating\ is,\ so\ please\ be\ honest.\ I'm\ \na\ good\ guy\ with\ a\ nice\ heart,\ and\ I\ love\ to\ read\ poetry.\ I\ am\ a\ full\ time\ \nchristian\ and\ I\ love\ the\ world.\ Live\ life\ to\ the\ fullest.\ Peace.\n%\nEver\ since\ I\ was\ three\ I\ knew\ that\ something\ was\ something\ different\ in\ my\ \nsexual\ preferences,\ as\ time\ went\ on\ I\ realized\ that\ I\ liked\ anime\ babes\ and\ \nHentai.\ Ever\ since\ then\ I\ have\ been\ looking\ at\ anime\ porn\ and\ such,\ I`m\ not\ \nattracted\ to\ real\ girls\ that\ much.\ If\ I\ see\ a\ girl\ naked\ I\ won`t\ like\ it\ but\ \nIf\ I\ see\ hentai\ I`m\ all\ in\ for\ it.\ Since\ I`m\ a\ christian\ I`m\ wondering\ if\ \nGod\ made\ me\ this\ way\ for\ punishment\ or\ something,\ I\ don`t\ blame\ him\ at\ all.\ \nHe\ didn`t\ have\ to\ make\ me\ anyway\ so\ I\ thank\ him\ for\ simply\ making\ me.\ Anyway\ \nis\ it\ normal\ for\ me\ to\ like\ anime\ babes\ or\ not?\ Should\ I\ tell\ my\ parents\ or\ \nhide\ this\ secret\ from\ them?\ I`m\ looking\ at\ this\ HOT\ anime\ babe\ in\ her\ bra\ \nand\ panties\ and\ I`m\ hard\ as\ heck!\ But\ is\ this\ a\ sin?\n%\nLike\ you've\ ever\ been\ to\ an\ arcade.\ The\ skin\ on\ your\ back\ would\ peel\ off\ if\ \nyou\ ever\ extricated\ yourself\ from\ your\ oily\ throne\ of\ cheeto\ crumbs\ and\ \nmountain\ dew\ stains.\n%\nIm\ in\ the\ middle\ east.\ Middle\ eastern\ people\ may\ have\ dark\ skin\ like\ a\ \ngrl.......face\ it\ bitch...ur\ a\ motherfuckin\ dick\ suckin\ man\ \nhoe!!!!!!!!!.........ur\ a\ faget\ ass\ punk\ pussy\ lil\ girl......ur\ da\ gayest\ \nperson\ ever........go\ to\ hell\ bitch!!!!\n%\nyour\ fuckin\ gay\ you\ should\ be\ shot\ and\ put\ in\ a\ gas\ chamber\ you\ fuckin\ peice\ \nof\ trailer\ trash....you\ put\ your\ moms\ dick\ back\ in\ your\ mouth\ and\ shut\ the\ \nfuck\ up\ the\ song\ fuckin\ rules\n%\nI�AM�CAUSING�YOUR�XTERM�TO�SCROLL�THE�CAUSE�OF�YOUR�XTERM�SCROLLING�IS:�ME�\n%\nI\ thought\ ocd\ was\ like\ a\ car,\ too,\ but\ then\ my\ psychiatrist\ suggested\ that\ I\ \ndon't\ have\ to\ wash\ and\ wax\ my\ car\ and\ walk\ around\ it\ three\ times\ every\ time\ \nbefore\ I\ drive\ (some\ of\ the\ paint\ is\ comming\ off,\ and\ it\ is\ only\ a\ 2002\ \nlumina)\ so\ I\ tried\ not\ doing\ it\ and\ that\ very\ same\ day,\ I\ got\ in\ a\ car\ \naccident\ and\ they\ had\ to\ amputate\ part\ of\ my\ foot.\ Luckily\ I\ walked\ around\ \nthe\ car\ ONCE,\ or\ I\ might\ have\ been\ killed!\ I\ used\ to\ think\ cutting\ was\ self\ \ndestructive,\ but\ that\ was\ before\ it\ made\ me\ rich,\ famous,\ and\ helped\ me\ meet\ \nthe\ love\ of\ my\ life.\ Boy\ am\ I\ glad\ I\ never\ put\ down\ the\ razor!\ If\ you\ care\ \nabout\ yourself,\ cut\ EVERY\ DAY.\ If\ your\ boyfriend\ has\ OCD,\ you\ can\ Trick\ him\ \nout\ of\ it.\ Try\ moving\ his\ car\ keys\ when\ he's\ not\ looking,\ changing\ the\ \ningredients\ in\ his\ food,\ swich\ his\ computer\ to\ spanish\ text\ by\ default,\ make\ \nsubtle\ hints\ that\ you\ are\ sleeping\ around\ on\ him.\ This\ will\ jog\ his\ brain\ \ninto\ working\ correctly,\ and\ he'll\ know\ you're\ only\ doing\ it\ because\ you\ love\ \nhim!\n%\nIf\ your\ son\ has\ requested\ a\ new\ \"processor\"\ from\ a\ company\ called\ \"AMD\",\ \nthis\ is\ genuine\ cause\ for\ alarm.\ AMD\ is\ a\ third-world\ based\ company\ who\ make\ \ninferior,\ \"knock-off\"\ copies\ of\ American\ processor\ chips.\ They\ use\ child\ \nlabor\ extensively\ in\ their\ third\ world\ sweatshops,\ and\ they\ deliberately\ \ndisable\ the\ security\ features\ that\ American\ processor\ makers,\ such\ as\ Intel,\ \nuse\ toprevent\ hacking.AMD\ chips\ are\ never\ sold\ in\ stores,\ and\ you\ will\ most\ \nlikely\ be\ told\ that\ you\ have\ to\ order\ them\ from\ internet\ sites.\ Do\ not\ buy\ \nthis\ chip!\ This\ is\ one\ request\ that\ you\ must\ refuse\ your\ son,\ if\ you\ are\ to\ \nhave\ any\ hope\ of\ raising\ him\ well.\n%\nThere\ are,\ unfortunately,\ many\ hacking\ manuals\ available\ in\ bookshops\ today.\ \nA\ few\ titles\ to\ be\ on\ the\ lookout\ for\ are:\ \"Snow\ Crash\"\ and\ \"Cryptonomicon\"\ \nby\ Neal\ Stephenson\;\ \"Neuromancer\"\ by\ William\ Gibson\;\ \"Programming\ with\ Perl\"\ \nby\ Timothy\ O'Reilly\;\ \"Geeks\"\ by\ Jon\ Katz\;\ \"The\ Hacker\ Crackdown\"\ by\ Bruce\ \nSterling\;\ \"Microserfs\"\ by\ Douglas\ Coupland\;\ \"Hackers\"\ by\ Steven\ Levy\;\ and\ \n\"The\ Cathedral\ and\ the\ Bazaar\"\ by\ Eric\ S.\ Raymond.\n%\nDid\ you\ Europeans\ quit\ when\ you\ were\ behind\ in\ your\ butchering\ Jews\ like\ \nunwanted\ fetuses?\ Don't\ bother\ booting\ up\ En\ Carta,\ genius,\ the\ answer\ is\ \nno.\ My\ yarmulke\ wearing\ Sergeant\ Grandpa\ had\ to\ fly\ his\ jet\ over\ there\ and\ \nknock\ the\ gas\ chamber\ remote\ out\ of\ your\ assy\ smelling\ fingers\ himself.\ And\ \nwhile\ he\ was\ at\ it\ I\ think\ he\ popped\ a\ WWII\ era\ cap\ right\ in\ your\ sunken\ \neuro-chest.\ I'll\ never\ forget\ the\ stories\ he\ told\ me\ about\ how\ he\ and\ his\ \nbuddies\ and\ a\ bunch\ of\ foxy\ WAVES\ liberated\ ol'\ San\ Francisco\ from\ you\ \nslanty-eyed\ motherfuckers.\n%\nAnother\ Infected\ Dick\ Sucker\ -\ that's\ what\ AIDS\ stands\ for.\ I'm\ going\ to\ \nlive\ to\ see\ the\ day\ you\ queers\ die\ a\ horrible\ death.\ There's\ no\ reason\ for\ \nyou\ to\ be\ here\ on\ earth.\n%\nSo\ let\ me\ guess,\ you\ were\ one\ of\ those\ guys\ late\ up\ at\ night.\ jobless,\ and\ \ntired\ of\ going\ to\ your\ dead\ end\ job,\ until\ you\ saw\ a\ commercial\ for\ an\ \nexciting\ career\ in\ \"Information\ Technology!\"\ offered\ by\ the\ DeVry\ institute\ \nwhere\ you\ will\ be\ trained\ in\ as\ little\ as\ 3\ months\ in\ the\ field\ of\ \nINFORMATION\ TECHNOLOGY!\ Promising\ you\ the\ career\ of\ \$50,000\ a\ yearAnd\ now\ \nwith\ this\ knowledge\ and\ your\ A+\ certification,\ you\ join\ random\ channels\ in\ \nirc\ in\ the\ hopes\ of\ you\ connecting\ with\ other\ INFORMATION\ TECHNOLOGY!\ \nprofessionals\ so\ you\ can\ show\ off\ your\ shiny\ new\ \{Certificate\ of\ completion\}\ \nfrom\ the\ DeVry\ institute.\n%\nThe\ Quran\ requires\ the\ infidel,\ whether\ Jew\ or\ Christian,\ to\ be\ killed.\ ...\ \nThat's\ a\ core\ essence\ of\ the\ religion.\ ...\ Muhammad\ was\ a\ pirate\ who\ killed\ \ninfidels\ and\ who\ advocated\ the\ killing\ of\ infidels.\ Not\ a\ nice\ guy.\ Osama\ \nbin\ Laden\ is\ in\ keeping\ with\ his\ fine\ tradition.\n%\nBSD,\ Lunix,\ Debian\ and\ Mandrake\ are\ all\ versions\ of\ an\ illegal\ hacker\ \noperation\ system,\ invented\ by\ a\ Soviet\ computer\ hacker\ named\ Linyos\ \nTorovoltos,\ before\ the\ Russians\ lost\ the\ Cold\ War.\ It\ is\ based\ on\ a\ program\ \ncalled\ \"xenix\",\ which\ was\ written\ by\ Microsoft\ for\ the\ US\ government.\ These\ \nprograms\ are\ used\ by\ hackers\ to\ break\ into\ other\ people's\ computer\ systems\ \nto\ steal\ credit\ card\ numbers.\ They\ may\ also\ be\ used\ to\ break\ into\ people's\ \nstereos\ to\ steal\ their\ music,\ using\ the\ 'mp3'\ program.\ Torovoltos\ is\ a\ \nnotorious\ hacker,\ responsible\ for\ writing\ many\ hacker\ programs,\ such\ as\ \n'telnet',\ which\ is\ used\ by\ hackers\ to\ connect\ to\ machines\ on\ the\ internet\ \nwithout\ using\ a\ telephone.\n%\nI'm\ all\ talk?\ Lets\ meet\ at\ a\ secluded\ place\ and\ I'll\ show\ you\ how\ much\ talk\ \nI\ am\ you\ pussy.\ I'll\ burry\ you\ so\ deep\ that\ your\ mommy\ will\ litter\ all\ of\ \nCalifornia\ with\ your\ missing\ posters.\n%\nI\ JUST\ HAD\ THIS\ FREAK\ ACCIDENT\ WHERE\ I\ SAT\ DOWN\ TO\ WORK\ AND\ I\ SPILLED\ DOPE\ \nINTO\ THE\ BONG\ AND\ THE\ LIGHTER\ FLICKED\ OUT\ AND\ SET\ IT\ ON\ FIRE\ AND\ THE\ WHEELS\ \nOF\ MY\ CHAIR\ SLIPPED\ BACK\ AND\ I\ INHALED\ THE\ DOPE\ SMOKE\ AND\ ATE\ A\ MUFFIN\n%\nEFnet\ split\ my\ junk\ liberally.\ It\ strapped\ me\ into\ its\ splitting\ server\ and\ \nwould\ not\ keep\ its\ offensive\ lag\ off\ of\ me.\ It\ was\ performing\ many\ red\ flag\ \ntimeouts.\ I\ told\ EFnet\ dalvenjah\ would\ not\ approve\ of\ its\ servers\ \nimpersonating\ DALnet\ for\ free.\ It\ doesn't\ help\ that\ EFnet\ has\ been\ run\ by\ \nnazis\ for\ eight\ years.\ Its\ hubs\ can\ barely\ stay\ up!\ What\ is\ EFnet\ going\ to\ \nsay\ to\ comstud\ when\ he\ comes\ back\ from\ a\ Dianora\ blow\ job\ and\ asks\ what\ the\ \nfuck\ EFnet\ just\ did\ in\ front\ of\ 120,000\ users?\ He'll\ make\ the\ hubs\ squit\ in\ \nfront\ of\ all\ the\ opers\ again.\ There\ it\ is.\ They\ just\ relinked\ irc.aol.com.\ I\ \ngotta\ go.\n%\nFinally,\ a\ break\ from\ the\ linux\ tax.\ Yeah,\ you\ know\ the\ one\ --\ the\ one\ that\ \nmakes\ you\ pour\ hundreds\ and\ hundreds\ of\ wasted\ man-hours\ into\ using\ poorly\ \nwritten\ programs\ with\ little\ or\ no\ documentation.\ What\ can\ you\ expect\ from\ \nspaghetti\ code\ written\ by\ hobbyists\ and\ students?\ I'll\ happily\ give\ my\ money\ \nto\ the\ professionals\ any\ day,\ no\ matter\ what\ News\ for\ Nerds\ declares.\ \nHonestly,\ I\ know\ most\ of\ you\ agree\ with\ me!\n%\nIF\ U\ R\ ON\ DIZ\ LIST,\ WTACH\ OUT!!!\ U\ R\ A\ MARKED\ MAN\ (OR\ WOMAN),\ I\ WILL\ HAV\ MY\ \nVENGEANCE\ ON\ U\ ALL!!!\ U\ SHALL\ FEEL\ MY\ WRATHLY\ WRATH,\ U\ SHALL\ RUE\ DA\ DAY\ U\ \nMADE\ AN\ N.A.ME\ OF\ DA\ MAD\ MATRIX\ HA><0R!!@#!\$\n%\nWhen\ the\ hell\ will\ all\ those\ people\ just\ curl\ up\ and\ die?\ I'm\ so\ heartily\ \nsick\ of\ that\ mustachioed\ hippie\ free-love\ deviant\ ESR\ spouting\ his\ OSS\ \nfilth.\ When\ will\ he\ realise\ that\ he's\ made\ all\ the\ money\ he\ possibly\ can\ \nfrom\ it,\ and\ it's\ time\ to\ just\ shut\ up\ and\ move\ along\ now?\n%\nHumidity\ overheated\ my\ junk\ liberally.\ It\ strapped\ me\ into\ its\ ambient\ \ntemperature\ and\ would\ not\ keep\ its\ offensive\ moisture\ off\ of\ me.\ It\ was\ \ncausing\ many\ red-flag\ heat\ strokes.\ I\ could\ not\ believe\ what\ the\ fuck\ was\ \ngoing\ on.\ I\ told\ humidity\ that\ the\ Weather\ Network\ would\ not\ approve\ of\ a\ \ncool\ front\ coming\ out\ of\ the\ Gulf\ Stream\ for\ free.\ \ It\ doesn.t\ help\ that\ the\ \nHumidex\ has\ been\ at\ 40%\ for\ weeks.\ I\ can\ barely\ walk\ straight!\ What\ am\ I\ \ngoing\ to\ tell\ my\ wife\ when\ she\ comes\ back\ from\ getting\ ice\ to\ ask\ why\ the\ \nfuck\ I.m\ towelling\ off\ my\ balls\ in\ the\ presence\ of\ our\ children?\ She.ll\ make\ \nme\ drop\ trau\ and\ use\ deodorant\ in\ front\ of\ everyone\ again.\ There\ it\ is.\ The\ \nguy\ across\ the\ street\ just\ asked\ if\ anyone\ could\ smell\ .that..\ I\ gotta\ go\ \nshower.\n%\nHOT\ XXX\ YOUNG\ CUMSHOT\ WATERSPORTS\ ANAL\ FUCK\ BRITNEY\ SEX\ GRANDMA\ CUTE\ VOYEUR\ \nLATINA\ FACIAL\ HENTAI\ PORN\ JACKOFF\ PUSSY\ ANAL\ SEX\ BLOWJOBS\ BACKDOOR\ HERSHEY\ \nHIGHWAY\ CUMSHOT\ TEABAG\ \$\$DVDA\$\$\ TITTY\ FUCK\ DIRTY\ SANCHEZ\ \$DOUBLE\ \nPENETRATION\$\ JAPSCAT\ \$GOLDEN\ SHOWER\$\ LATTE\ ENEMAS\ \$TVTA\$\ SKULLFUCK\ \nDOGGYSTYLE\ MISSIONARY\ \$QVQA\$\ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DIRTY\ HORSE\ BEASTIALITY\ KIDDY\ \nPR0N\ LOLITA.MPG.JPG.AVI.DIVX.BMP.MOV.PIF\n%\nBANG\ BANG\ ALLAH\ MECCA\ KORAN\ AL\ AQSA\ BIN\ LADEN\ SHAHID\ YA\ SADDAM\ YA\ HABIB\ \nUTRUB\ UTRUB\ TEL\ AVIV\ FILIN\ FILTIN\ FILYALLA\ FALESTIN\ \$\$TURBAN\$\$\ AFGHANISTAN\ \nWAR\ ON\ TERROR\ W.T.C\ 9/11-NEVER\ 4-GET\ JIHAD\ HEAVEN\ AL\ AQSA\ AL\ ABDALLAH\ YA\ \nSHARIF\ AL\ QAEDA\ THE\ SHAYKH\ EMIR\ ABU\ ABDALLAH\ IN\ SPIRIT\ AND\ IN\ BLOOD\ WE\ WILL\ \nFREE\ JERUSALEM\ AND\ ABU\ AMAR\ MATADERRA\ MATADERRA\ HAJJ\ NUJAHID\ ALLAH\ EMIR\ AL\ \nHABIBBI\n%\nXTC\ RAVEZ\ CANDY\ VISORZ\ WATER\ BOTTLEZ\ LOVE\ PEACE\ TRIPLE\ STACKED\ PAUL\ \nOAKENFOLD\ PLUR\ GLOWSTIX\ LOCKJAW\ PACIFIARS\ TURNTABLES\ PLUR\ EX\ STROBE\ LIGHTS\ \nLASER\ SHOW\ UNDERGROUND\ RAVE\ RAVE\ RAVE\ XXX\ FUCK\ FUCK\ FUCK\ LOVE\ EVERY1\ KANDY\ \nBRACELETZ\ ACID\ WEED\ POT\ DRUG\ DRUG\ DRUG\ SPESHAL\ K\ TRANKWILIZER\ EXXXSTASY\ \nCOLORS\ UNDERGROUND\ RAVE\ MUZIK\ XTC\ DANCE\ ALL\ NITE\ FUCK\ THE\ PARENTZ\ \nDEYHDRATION\ HUGE\ PANTS\ BODY\ PAINT\ PLUR\ PLUR\ PLUR\ LOCKJAW\ GLOW\ STIX\ VISOR\ \nUNDERGROU\n%\nAUNT\ JEMIMA\ UNCLE\ BENZ\ RICE\ PANCAKES\ GRAINS\ WAFFLES\ GRITS\ HASH\ BROWNS\ BACON\ \nON\ POP\ KOOL\ AID\ WATERMELON\ FRIED\ CHICKEN\ OMMELETES\ BITCHES\ N\ 40Z\ FRIED\ \nCHICKEN\ FISH\ ROLLIN\ WHEAT\ GRAINS\ AND\ OATS\ CORN\ PUFFS\ WIT\ WATER\ FRIED\ CATFISH\ \nAUNT\ JEMIMA\ CRACK\ COCAINE\ SOUL\ FOOD\ KITCHEN\ BAKIN\ BREAD\ MAKIN\ GRITS\ FRIED\ \nCHICKEN\ WATERMELLON\ SHRIMP\ WENDY'S\ SPICY\ CHICKEN\ SANDWICH\ ROLLIN\ BLUNTS\ \nSMOKIN\ JOINTS\ HENNESEY\ GIN\ N\ JUICE\ CRISTAL\ COLONAL\ SANDERS\ REPRUHZEN\n%\nFUBU\ BIG\ CHAINZ\ DUBZ\ \$BLING\$\ \$BLING\$\ FUCK\ DA\ 5-0\ BITCHES\ BLUNTS\ 40Z\ KICIKIN\ \nIT\ BLUNTED\ JARNELL\ BABY\ MAMMA\ CHILD\ SUPPORT\ CHICKEN\ AN\ WATERMELON\ KOOL\ AID\ \nDA\ RED\ KIND\ FOOD\ STAMPS\ WESTSIDE\ \$\$CASH\ MONIES\$\$\ DRIVE\ BY\ RYDE\ OR\ DIE\ NIGGA\ \nRUFF\ RYDA\ 4\ LYFE\ PHAT\ ICE\ PHAT\ BLUNT\ DENZEL\ WASHINGTON\ ROCAWEAR\ ICE\ BLING\ \nBLING\ 5-0\ 187\ MURDA\ MURDA\ FOOD\ STAMPS\ BLUNTS\ PAPERZ\ BLAZED\ WELFARE\ CHITLINS\ \nGRITS\ KOOL\ AID\ HOLLA\ BACK\ FUCK\ DA\ POLICE\ ROLLIN\ IN\ DA\ BENZ-O\n%\n420\ BONG\ TOKE\ PARTY\ WEED\ BOB\ MARLEY\ SPLIFF\ CHEEBA\ TOKE\ BONG\ MARLEY\ JOINT\ \nWE\$D\ YEAH\ BOWL\ PACK\ WEED\ SMOKE\ YEAH\ NIGGER\ LEGALIZE\ SMOKE\ POT\ DANK\ WEED\ BUDS\ \nFRUIT\ OF\ LIFE\ KOTTONMOUTH\ KINGZZZZZZ\ BONGHITS\ ONEHITS\ DUGOUT\ BUBBLER\ \nSTEAMROLLER\ ZIG-ZAG\ PHAT\ BAG\ SINSEMILLA\ HEMP\ SMOKE\ GRASS\ GAS\ OR\ ASS\ NOONE\ \nRIDES\ FOR\ FREE\ PAPERZ\ LIGHTARZ\ LEGALIZ0RZ\ WHIPITS\n%\nu\ dont\ even\ know\ me\ kid\ shut\ the\ fuck\ up\ hidin\ behind\ yuor\ computar\ id\ \nfuckin\ lump\ u\ out\ if\ u\ fronted\ on\ me\ like\ that\ in\ person\ fukin\ bitchass\ \nlittel\ nerd\ hidin\ behind\ cmputar\ screen\ littel\ pussy\ i\ kick\ ur\ ass\ irl\ fagget\n%\nI\ love\ to\ satisfy\ women\ in\ which\ ever\ way\ they\ choose.\ I\ love\ to\ please\ you\ \nand\ make\ you\ scream\ and\ moan\ until\ you\ cant\ take\ it\ no\ more\ and\ grab\ my\ head\ \npushing\ it\ between\ your\ legs\ making\ my\ tongue\ go\ deeper\ and\ deeper\ until\ it\ \nreaches\ that\ spot!\ And\ then\ squeezing\ my\ head\ between\ your\ thighs!\ I\ keep\ \ngoing\ until\ you\ are\ so\ wet\ that\ your\ sweet\ juices\ are\ drippin\ and\ running\ \ndown\ your\ thighs\ and\ on\ my\ lips\ and\ all\ over\ my\ face\n%\nThis\ has\ got\ to\ be\ the\ worst\ 'holiday'\ ever\ conceived.\ First,\ my\ friends\ \nstarted\ by\ playing\ a\ mean\ prank\ on\ me,\ and\ then\ even\ my\ family\ got\ in\ on\ the\ \nact.\ They\ took\ me\ out\ back\ into\ the\ woods,\ tied\ me\ to\ a\ tree,\ and\ paid\ a\ \ndrunken\ hillbilly\ to\ rape\ me!\ First\ he\ lubed\ up\ my\ asshole\ with\ his\ spit,\ \nand\ then\ he\ proceeded\ to\ violently\ penetrate\ my\ ass.\ The\ stench\ exuding\ from\ \nhis\ unwashed\ mountain-man\ body\ was\ overwhelming,\ and\ only\ served\ to\ make\ me\ \nsicker\ than\ I\ already\ had\ been.\ I\ couldn't\ help\ but\ begin\ vomiting,\ and\ this\ \nonly\ seemed\ to\ turn\ the\ hillbilly\ on\ more.\ After\ he\ finally\ finished\ and\ \ndeposited\ his\ semen\ in\ my\ rectum,\ my\ family\ and\ friends\ shouted\ \{April\ \nfools!!\}\ They're\ going\ to\ get\ what's\ coming\ to\ them\ next\ year.\n%\nMy\ father\ has\ been\ gone\ on\ Mar\ 26\ due\ to\ an\ bus\ accident\ (fuck\ Shanghai\ XX\ \nbus\ corp.,\ fuck\ Shanghai\ XX\ hospital),\ I\ am\ very\ sorry\ for\ often\ making\ him\ \nanger.\ I\ can't\ forgive\ myself,\ so\ I\ decide\ to\ stop\ this\ project\ including\ \nreply\ service\ for\ at\ least\ 2\ months\ according\ to\ our\ custom,\ please\ forgive\ \nme.\ I\ promise\ I\ will\ be\ back,\ but\ now\ I\ am\ in\ very\ pain...\ Dad,\ please\ \nforgive\ me,\ please\ bless\ mother,\ sister\ and\ me...\ unf\n%\nOH\ IT'S\ A\ SLYTHERIN\ SCARF!!!\ LOOK\ AT\ ME\ I\ LIKE\ HARRY\ POTTER!!!\ PS\ I\ HAVEN'T\ \nREAD\ THE\ BOOKS\ ONLY\ SEEN\ THE\ MOVIES\n%\nI\ bet\ Blihoorlt\ is\ one\ of\ those\ guys\ who\ has\ a\ \"word\ of\ the\ day\"\ calendar\ on\ \nhis\ desk,\ and\ every\ morning\ he\ nearly\ pees\ his\ pants\ because\ he's\ so\ excited\ \nthat\ he's\ going\ to\ learn\ a\ new\ word\ that\ he\ will\ use\ all\ day\ long\ (and\ \nusually\ incorrectly),\ and\ then\ promptly\ forget\ it\ the\ next\ day\ when\ he\ tears\ \noff\ the\ page.\n%\nHyndmost,\ you\ appear\ to\ have\ a\ \"sounding\ smart\"\ fetish.\ But\ in\ reality\ I\ bet\ \nyou're\ a\ depressed\ nerd\ who\ dropped\ out\ of\ school\ because\ you\ couldn't\ take\ \ngetting\ made\ fun\ of\ anymore.\ Maybe\ if\ you\ didn't\ spend\ 5\ minutes\ looking\ up\ \nwords\ on\ dictionary.com,\ it\ wouldn't\ take\ you\ so\ long\ to\ reply.\n%\ni\ claim\ to\ be\ liberal,\ and\ for\ the\ most\ part\ part\ i\ am...but\ i\ can't\ help\ it\ \nthat\ i\ just\ do\ not\ like\ black\ people.\ i\ want\ to\ but\ whenever\ i\ see\ one\ on\ \nthe\ street\ or\ something\ i\ can\ only\ think\ \"Nigger!\"\ i\ want\ to\ like\ them\ and\ \nevery\ once\ in\ awhile\ i\ meet\ a\ nice\ black\ person\ but\ most\ of\ them\ just\ seem\ \nto\ be\ stupid\ niggers.\n%\nYour\ are\ thr\ reason\ this\ world\ going\ to\ hell\ your\ fucking\ piece\ of\ shit\ ...i\ \nhope\ you\ get\ strike\ down\ by\ lighting\ in\ the\ middle\ of\ the\ field\ and\ then\ \nwolfs\ eat\ your\ smodlering\ carcus\ you\ fucking\ physco\ path!!\n%\nLadies:\ walk\ through\ the\ woods,\ grab\ a\ lumberjack,\ toss\ him\ to\ the\ ground,\ \nstrip\ him,\ suck\ his\ cock,\ piss\ his\ face\ wet\ and\ then\ get\ down\ to\ some\ dirty\ \ndung\ duty.\n%\nYesterday\ I\ was\ cooking\ some\ food\ in\ the\ kitchen\ and\ I\ heard\ an\ electric\ \nshaver\ in\ the\ bathroom.\ \ The\ only\ other\ person\ in\ the\ house\ was\ my\ roommate\ \nwho\ is\ female.\ \ I\ rolled\ my\ eyes,\ realizing\ she\ must\ be\ shaving\ her\ pubic\ \narea.\ \ When\ I\ later\ entered\ that\ bathroom,\ the\ trash\ can\ had\ a\ sizable\ ball\ \nof\ brown\ curly\ hair\ in\ it.\ \ Gross.\n%\nThere's\ a\ pubic\ hair\ on\ my\ keyboard.\ What\ the\ fuck??\ I\ \"mow\ the\ lawn\"\ so\ \nit's\ not\ mine.\ Gross.\n%\nGentlemen,\ I\ am\ pleased\ to\ announce\ the\ following:\ My\ testicles\ and\ penis\ \nare\ larger\ than\ the\ average\ size\ by\ a\ considerable\ degree,\ which\ women\ find\ \nvery\ attractive.\ I\ also\ possess\ a\ great\ deal\ of\ wealth,\ including\ sports\ \ncars,\ real\ estate,\ works\ of\ art,\ and\ extensive\ liquid\ assets,\ which\ are\ also\ \nvery\ desirable\ to\ women.\ In\ short,\ your\ genotype\ has\ no\ chance\ to\ survive.\ \nThat\ is\ all.\n%\nI'm\ not\ racist\ (okay,\ no\ more\ racist\ than\ the\ average\ middle-aged\ American\ \nwhite\ guy),\ but\ lately\ I've\ been\ barking\ out\ (in\ a\ really\ unnatural\ voice)\ \nthe\ words\ \"STONE\ COLD\ SUPER\ NIGGER\".\n%\nPlease\ help\ me\ before\ I\ fry\ in\ the\ pits\ of\ hell.\ I\ masterbate\ several\ times\ \na\ day.\ My\ parents\ bought\ me\ the\ anti-erection\ ring\ and\ I\ deal\ with\ the\ pain\ \njust\ to\ have\ that\ orgasm.\ I\ want\ to\ be\ castrated\ but\ my\ parents\ tell\ me\ I\ am\ \nto\ old.\ They\ say\ that\ at\ 14\ years\ old\ i\ will\ not\ be\ able\ to\ handle\ being\ \ncastrated.\ But\ they\ are\ wrong.\n%\nI\ can't\ believe\ I\ just\ let\ loose\ a\ fart\ in\ my\ pants\ at\ my\ workplace.\ What\ \nthe\ fuck?\ I\ can't\ sniff\ and\ make\ a\ disgusted\ face\ too\ soon,\ because\ that\ \nwould\ throw\ suspicion\ at\ this\ very\ person.\ Any\ change\ in\ my\ seating\ position\ \nmight\ cause\ the\ leather\ of\ the\ seat\ make\ a\ farting\ noise,\ alerting\ every\ \ncoworker\ within\ 30\ feet\ of\ me.\ There\ is\ no\ way\ I\ could\ play\ that\ off\ as\ a\ \nburp.\ It\ doesn't\ help\ at\ all\ that\ I've\ been\ a\ part\ timer\ for\ 3\ weeks.\ I\ can\ \nhardly\ pay\ the\ bills!\ How\ am\ I\ possibly\ going\ to\ explain\ this\ to\ my\ boss\ \nwhen\ he\ comes\ back\ from\ photocopying\ TPS\ reports\ to\ ask\ me\ what\ the\ fuck\ I\ \njust\ did\ in\ the\ presense\ of\ the\ CEO?\ He'll\ make\ me\ drop\ trou\ in\ front\ of\ the\ \ntemps\ again.\ There\ it\ is.\ The\ fat\ guy\ at\ the\ desk\ to\ the\ right\ of\ me\ just\ \nasked\ if\ I\ could\ smell\ 'that'.\ I\ gotta\ go.\n%\nNiggers\ fucked\ my\ ass\ liberally.\ They\ strapped\ me\ onto\ the\ hood\ of\ their\ \nCadillac\ Escalade\ and\ could\ not\ keep\ their\ enormous\ dicks\ out\ of\ me.\ They\ \nwere\ performing\ many\ red\ flag\ touches.\ I\ could\ not\ believe\ how\ big\ their\ \ncocks\ were.\ I\ told\ the\ niggers\ the\ city\ would\ not\ approve\ of\ an\ undercover\ \npolice\ officer\ shitting\ blood\ for\ a\ week\ without\ a\ doctor's\ note.\n%\n\ \ \n1002001001001202301004100102010300101001001001010110101010100203010101010120\ \nTHE\ MATIX\ HAS\ U\n%\nYeah\ I\ hit\ her.\ When\ I\ told\ her\ to\ jump\ on\ my\ dick\ she\ said\ she\ was\ tired\ \nand\ had\ to\ finish\ cleaning.\ I\ told\ her\ I\ wanted\ some\ fucking\ cunny\ now\ but\ \nshe\ didn't\ listen.\ Yeah\ I\ hit\ her\ fucking\ hard\ and\ gave\ her\ bruises.\ The\ \nbitch\ deserved\ it.\ It's\ all\ her\ fault.\ Christ,\ now\ the\ fucking\ kids\ are\ \nscreaming.\ I'll\ be\ right\ back,\ I\ gotta\ beat\ some\ sense\ into\ them.\n%\nYeah,\ I\ hit\ the\ bitch.\ She\ was\ fucking\ asking\ for\ it.\ I\ told\ her\ to\ go\ get\ \nme\ a\ beer\ and\ sausage\ and\ you\ know\ what\ she\ fucking\ did?\ She\ brought\ me\ a\ \ncan\ of\ beer\ instead\ of\ a\ bottle.\ The\ fuckin\ whore,\ she\ knows\ the\ cans\ are\ \nfor\ the\ kids\ and\ I\ get\ bottles.\ DONGS.\n%\nBADABABABA\ IM\ LOVIN'\ IT\ :\ Scat\ d00d00d00d00\ in\ my\ mouth\n%\nfuck\ shit\ bitch\ ass\ tits.\ Lets\ drop\ some\ e\ shoot\ some\ heroin\ and\ pass\ out\ in\ \na\ ditch.\ 3420\ bong\ toke\ party.\ smoke\ dat\ herb\ into\ yo\ mind.\ <3\ my\ mom\ smoked\ \nso\ much\ weed\ im\ suprised\ im\ not\ retarded\ <31\ you\ dumb\ fucking\ f\ a\ g\ g\ o\ t\ s\n%\nI\ am\ white\ trash\ and\ I\ live\ in\ a\ trailer\ and\ it's\ raining\ real\ hard\ outside\ \nand\ I\ heard\ some\ hard\ knocking\ on\ my\ door\ and\ I\ looked\ out\ the\ window\ and\ I\ \nsaw\ some\ guy\ wearing\ a\ mask\ running\ around\ to\ the\ back\ of\ the\ trailer\ and\ \nnow\ I\ hear\ him\ banging\ on\ the\ side\ and\ then\ I\ saw\ him\ looking\ in\ another\ \nwindow\ and\ now\ I\ closed\ all\ the\ blinds\ and\ now\ the\ power\ has\ gone\ out\ and\ I\ \nthink\ he's\ gonna\ break\ in\ and\ kill\ me.\n%\nI\ love\ to\ lick\ the\ sweet\ pre-cum\ from\ a\ black\ man.\ Kiss\ and\ lick\ his\ nipples\ \nthen\ deep\ throat\ his\ cock\ until\ I\ gag.\ I'm\ willing\ to\ travel\ far\ for\ a\ man\ \nwho's\ interested\ in\ the\ best\ suck\ he's\ ever\ had.\ Please\ let\ me\ choke\ and\ gag\ \non\ your\ cock.\ I\ can\ suck\ off\ a\ 9\ inch\ (22.5cm)\ cock\ with\ ease.\ I\ also\ have\ \nsome\ great\ butt\ pussy.\ It's\ tight\ and\ can\ be\ tamed.\ Let's\ deep\ kiss\ first!\ \nWe\ can\ share\ a\ bottle\ of\ wine\ and\ get\ sexy\ together.\n%\nOh\ My!!\ Straight\ from\ heaven.\ Ide\ bury\ my\ nose\ deep\ in\ that\ cotton\ and\ take\ \ndeep,\ slow\ breaths.\ Enjoying\ that\ sweet\ musky\ boquet.\ Suck\ her\ taste\ and\ \nflavor\ through\ the\ moist\ fabric\ and\ smile.\ Slip\ the\ panel\ aside\ and\ gently\ \nlick\ and\ suck\ that\ tastey\ pink\ morsel\ until\ she\ grabbed\ the\ back\ of\ my\ head,\ \nbucking\ her\ hips\ and\ forcing\ my\ face\ into\ her\ hot\ wet\ snatch.\n%\nComcast\ bid\ on\ our\ junk\ liberally.\ They\ strapped\ us\ into\ their\ Entertainment\ \nand\ Communications\ portfolio\ and\ would\ not\ keep\ their\ offensive\ investors\ \noff\ us.\ They\ were\ offering\ to\ assume\ many\ red-ink\ net\ debts.\ We\ couldn't\ \nbelieve\ what\ the\ fuck\ was\ going\ on.\ We\ told\ Comcast\ the\ Securities\ and\ \nExchange\ Commission\ would\ not\ approve\ of\ two\ multi-million\ dollar\ \ncorporations\ merging\ tax-free.\ It\ doesn't\ help\ at\ all\ that\ we've\ been\ \nhypnotizing\ the\ youth\ of\ America\ for\ 67\ years.\ We\ can\ hardly\ turn\ a\ profit!\ \nHow\ are\ we\ possibly\ going\ to\ explain\ this\ to\ the\ press\ when\ they\ arrive\ and\ \nask\ us\ how\ the\ fuck\ we\ lost\ the\ Pixar\ contract\ in\ the\ presence\ of\ our\ \nshareholders?\ They'll\ make\ the\ Board\ of\ Directors\ drop\ trau\ in\ front\ of\ \neveryone\ again.\ There\ it\ is.\ The\ FCC\ just\ left\ us\ a\ very\ pissed-off\ \nvoicemail.\ We\ gotta\ go.\n%\nI\ am\ a\ gay.\ My\ problem\ is\ my\ asshole\ is\ very\ small\ and\ even\ my\ finger\ does\ \nnot\ fit\ inside.\ How\ can\ I\ make\ my\ asshole\ wider.\n%\nThe\ bitch\ beat\ the\ crap\ out\ of\ me.\ She\ made\ me\ bleed,\ and\ left\ welts\ on\ my\ \nass\ and\ back.\ She\ was\ beating\ me\ like\ she\ was\ Furio\ and\ I\ owed\ money\ to\ Tony\ \nSoprano.\ She\ went\ to\ work\ on\ my\ ass\ with\ a\ spatula,\ wooden\ kitchen\ spoons,\ \neverything.\ She\ bit\ my\ nipples.\ She\ even\ tried\ to\ go\ at\ my\ nuts\ with\ some\ \ntongs.\ It\ was\ hilarious,\ and\ painful.\n%\nHi\ =)\ i\ don't\ mean\ to\ do\ spam...\ just\ thought\ to\ let\ u\ know\ that\ there\ is\ \nanother\ channel\ around.\ #HyDrO-WaReZ...\ thanks\ =)\n%\nI\ went\ to\ MacWorld\ and\ persuaded\ an\ Adobe\ employee\ to\ preview\ the\ then\ beta\ \nof\ Photoshop\ 4.\ He\ left\ me\ to\ mess\ around\ with\ it\ on\ my\ own\ and\ while\ he\ was\ \ntalking\ to\ some\ other\ folks\ I\ pulled\ out\ an\ ethernet\ crossover\ cable\ and\ \nconnected\ his\ Mac\ to\ my\ Powerbook\ and\ copied\ over\ the\ Photoshop\ Beta.\n%\nIf\ your\ tongue\ is\ anything\ like\ your\ foot,\ then\ I\ will\ sweat\ like\ a\ banchee\ \nif\ you\ eat\ me\ out.\n%\nMMMMMMMMMMMMM.\ Crunchy,\ mushy\ CATBOX.\ The\ PEARL\ OF\ THE\ ORIENT.\ You\ JERK\ THAT\ \nSHIT,\ HOLMES.\ You\ JERK\ IT\ LIKE\ YOU'VE\ NEVER\ JERKED\ BEFORE.\ For\ the\ LOVE\ OF\ \nCHRIST\ AND\ BALLS,\ JERK\ like\ the\ WORLD\ IS\ GOING\ TO\ FUCKING\ END.\n%\nSometimes\ when\ I\ put\ something\ full\ of\ flavor\ in\ my\ mouth,\ I\ close\ my\ eyes\ \nand\ feel\ like\ I'm\ flying-drifting\ into\ eternity,\ above\ and\ beyond\ all\ the\ \ncraziness\ of\ the\ world\ below,\ and\ I\ dream\ that\ all\ there\ is\ in\ the\ world\ is\ \nlove,\ harmony\ and\ bacon.\ In\ an\ effort\ to\ forward\ world\ peace,\ I\ plan\ to\ be\ \nthe\ first\ person\ to\ send\ bacon\ into\ space.\n%\nI\ remember\ one\ time\ at\ fashion\ camp\ Dustin\ Diamond\ came\ up\ behind\ me\ and\ \npulled\ my\ shirt\ over\ my\ head.\ He\ pushed\ me\ to\ the\ ground\ and\ jumped\ on\ top\ \nof\ me.\ He\ took\ 3\ pairs\ of\ handcuffs\ out\ of\ his\ rear\ pocket.\ He\ used\ one\ pair\ \nto\ bind\ my\ hands,\ another\ for\ my\ feet,\ and\ the\ last\ one\ to\ bind\ my\ hands\ and\ \nfeet\ together.\ Dustin\ Diamond\ then\ ripped\ off\ all\ of\ my\ clothes\ including\ my\ \nnew\ shirt\ and\ silk\ briefs.\ He\ put\ his\ mouth\ on\ my\ penis\ and\ masturbated\ me\ \nfor\ a\ minute\ or\ two\ and\ then\ he\ turned\ me\ around\ on\ the\ ground.\ Dustin\ \nDiamond\ then\ disrobed\ himself\ and\ lay\ down\ on\ top\ of\ me.\ He\ inserted\ his\ \npenis\ in\ to\ my\ anus.\ I\ couldn't\ believe\ what\ the\ fuck\ was\ going\ on.\ Dustin\ \nDiamond\ was\ fucking\ me\ in\ the\ ass!\ He\ continued\ to\ fuck\ me\ in\ the\ ass.\ I\ \ncounted\ every\ second\ of\ it.\ After\ 27\ seconds\ he\ ejaculated\ inside\ of\ me.\ I\ \nwas\ mortified.\ The\ worst\ part\ was\ that\ my\ new\ shirt\ was\ ripped\ and\ I\ didn't\ \neven\ reach\ orgasm!\n%\nBut\ anyway,\ my\ dad\ is\ said\ to\ have\ a\ ten\ inch\ cock,\ but\ I\ have\ not\ seen\ it\ \nsince\ I\ was\ five,\ so\ I\ don't\ remember.\n%\nI\ can't\ believe\ I\ just\ took\ a\ shit\ in\ my\ bathing\ suit\ at\ the\ beach.\ What\ the\ \nfuck?\ I\ cant\ stand\ up\ and\ take\ it\ to\ the\ ocean,\ because\ I\ am\ wading\ in\ a\ \npuddle\ of\ feces\ at\ this\ very\ moment.\ Any\ change\ in\ my\ seating\ position\ will\ \nsend\ my\ poo\ spilling\ down\ my\ legs\ and\ into\ view\ of\ every\ sunbather\ within\ 30\ \nfeet\ of\ me.\ There\ is\ no\ way\ I\ can\ play\ this\ off\ as\ a\ fart.\ It\ doesn't\ help\ \nat\ all\ that\ I've\ been\ spun\ out\ for\ 3\ days.\ I\ can\ hardly\ see\ straight!\ How\ am\ \nI\ possibly\ going\ to\ explain\ this\ to\ my\ wife\ when\ she\ comes\ back\ from\ getting\ \nchili\ dogs\ to\ ask\ me\ what\ the\ fuck\ I\ just\ did\ in\ the\ presence\ of\ my\ \nchildren?\ She'll\ make\ me\ drop\ trau\ in\ front\ of\ everyone\ again.\ There\ it\ is.\ \nThe\ family\ on\ the\ blanket\ to\ the\ right\ of\ me\ just\ asked\ if\ I\ could\ smell\ \n'that'.\ I\ gotta\ go.\n%\nBy\ taking\ the\ name\ of\ the\ popular\ operating\ system\ 'windows'\ and\ replacing\ \nthe\ last\ bit\ with\ 'blows'\ (which\ is\ a\ colloquialism\ meaning\ 'bad'\ or\ \n'inferior')\ you've\ just\ given\ the\ name\ a\ whole\ new\ meaning,\ while\ not\ really\ \nchanging\ the\ sound\ of\ the\ word\ too\ much!\ this\ is\ the\ epitome\ of\ both\ wit\ and\ \nhumour!\ other\ highly\ amusing\ (and\ often\ underused)\ slag\ terms\ are\ 'windoze'\ \n(doze\ meaning\ 'light\ sleep'\ or\ 'knap')\ and\ \{'M\$'\}\ (which\ usually\ stands\ for\ \nMicroSoft,\ but\ in\ this\ case,\ the\ 'S'\ is\ deliciously\ replaced\ with\ a\ dollar\ \nsign\ to\ represent\ how\ they\ unfairly\ charge\ for\ their\ products!)\ This\ is\ a\ \nnew\ wave\ of\ humour,\ people.\ I\ think\ we\ should\ riddle\ all\ our\ posts,\ replies\ \nand\ (where\ applicable)\ everyday\ speech\ with\ these\ little\ beauties\ to\ forever\ \nrepresent\ that\ we,\ the\ open\ source\ community,\ know\ better\ than\ everyone\ else!\n%\nI\ AM\ MR\ DARL\ MCBRIDE\ CURRENTLY\ SERVING\ AS\ THE\ PRESIDENT\ AND\ CHIEF\ EXECUTIVE\ \nOFFICER\ OF\ THE\ SCO\ GROUP,\ FORMERLY\ KNOWN\ AS\ CALDERA\ SYSTEMS\ INTERNATIONAL,\ \nIN\ LINDON,\ UTAH,\ UNITED\ STATES\ OF\ AMERICA.\ I\ KNOW\ THIS\ LETTER\ MIGHT\ SURPRISE\ \nYOU\ BECAUSE\ WE\ HAVE\ HAD\ NO\ PREVIOUS\ COMMUNICATIONS\ OR\ BUSINESS\ DEALINGS\ \nBEFORE\ NOW.\ MY\ ASSOCIATES\ HAVE\ RECENTLY\ MADE\ CLAIM\ TO\ COMPUTER\ SOFTWARES\ \nWORTH\ AN\ ESTIMATED\ \{\$1\}\ BILLION\ U.S.\ DOLLARS.\ I\ AM\ WRITING\ TO\ YOU\ IN\ \nCONFIDENCE\ BECAUSE\ WE\ URGENTLY\ REQUIRE\ YOUR\ ASSISTANCE\ TO\ OBTAIN\ THESE\ FUNDS.\n%\nOne\ day\ Captain\ Kirk\ was\ maiming\ his\ cock\ with\ a\ horseshoe\ when\ suddenly\ Mr.\ \nSpock\ ran\ up\ to\ him\ and\ shoved\ his\ pointy\ ear\ up\ his\ butt.\ \"What\ is\ this\ \nfor!\"\ the\ fag\ captain\ said.\ \"FAGS\ FOR\ YOU\ AALL!L!!!\"\ the\ ancient\ alien\ \nhowled\ as\ suddenly\ he\ farted\ and\ Captain\ Kirk\ twirled\ around\ in\ a\ daze\ and\ \nhis\ foreskin\ twisted\ and\ his\ kidney\ stones\ turned\ into\ wooden\ beads.\ He\ \npulled\ out\ his\ pistol\ and\ shot\ lasers\ at\ his\ chastity\ belt\ and\ suddenly\ he\ \nhurdled\ his\ dick\ into\ Captain\ Kirk's\ bellybutton\ and\ it\ tore\ his\ flesh\ while\ \nSpock\ fucked\ his\ stomach.\ Kirk\ hollered\ out\ loud\ and\ Mr.\ Spock\ threw\ his\ \nshoes\ to\ the\ floor\ and\ wrinkled\ his\ penis\ until\ Kirk\ bellowed\ out\ to\ make\ it\ \nstop.\ A\ maelstrom\ of\ shit\ whizzed\ around\ the\ ship\ and\ suddenly\ a\ giant\ fag\ \nappeared\ out\ side\ and\ the\ U.S.S.\ Enterprise\ went\ up\ his\ butt.\ \"Oh\ what\ the\ \nhell\ have\ you\ gotten\ us\ into\ NOW!\"\ Captain\ Kirk\ said\ as\ he\ oozed\ a\ condom\ \nback\ on\ his\ dick\ and\ put\ his\ panties\ back\ on.\ OOH!H!!!!!!\ Mr.\ Spock\ started\ \nfucking\ him\ again\ and\ shoved\ his\ phazer\ up\ his\ butt.\ He\ dissolved\ his\ glands\ \nand\ exploded\ his\ turds\ and\ finally\ a\ queer\ klingon\ hurdled\ through\ the\ door\ \nand\ smashed\ Kirk\ with\ his\ butt\ hairs.\ A\ maniac\ sucked\ his\ dick\ and\ suddenly\ \nMr.\ Spock\ fagged\ Kirk\ so\ hard\ that\ his\ intestines\ burst\ open\ and\ he\ died.\n%\nbatman\ touched\ my\ junk\ liberally.\ he\ strapped\ me\ in\ to\ his\ batmobile\ and\ he\ \ncouldnt\ keep\ his\ offensive\ hands\ off\ of\ me.\ he\ was\ performing\ many\ red\ flag\ \ntouches.\ i\ couldnt\ believe\ what\ the\ fuck\ was\ going\ on.\ i\ told\ batman\ the\ \ncity\ would\ not\ approve\ of\ a\ millionaire\ touching\ an\ underage\ kid\ for\ free.\n%\nI'm\ going\ to\ drive\ a\ remote\ controlled\ car\ into\ your\ mother's\ pussy\ and\ have\ \nit\ drive\ on\ her\ clitoris\ over\ and\ over\ again\ until\ she\ cums\ on\ it\ and\ it\ \ncatches\ on\ fire\ and\ she\ dies\ from\ pussy\ burning\n%\n\ 9/11\ was\ done\ by\ sandniggers\ and\ all\ 7-11s\ are\ run\ by\ sandniggers.\ \ncoincidence?\ i\ think\ not.\n%\nHello.\ Did\ you\ know\ Chali\ is\ a\ disgusting\ whore?\ Please\ surf\ over\ to\ Stile's\ \nStileproject.com\ to\ see\ her\ latest\ pornographic\ material.\ This\ bitch\ \ndisgusts\ me\ in\ her\ lascivious\ lifestyle.\ All\ day\ she\ hungers\ for\ sex\ and\ \nmasturbates\ and\ in\ general\ pollutes\ the\ human\ condition.\ Redeem\ yourself\ at\ \n#teens4christ.\ Thanks\ for\ reading\ this.\ dongs.\n%\nO\ say\ can\ you\ see\ by\ the\ monitors\ early\ light\ what\ so\ proudly\ we\ hailed\ at\ \nthe\ twilight's\ last\ gleaming?\ Whose\ broad\ scripts\ and\ bright\ colour\ through\ \nthe\ perilous\ fight\ O'er\ the\ jupes\ we\ watched\ were\ so\ gallantly\ streaming?\ \nAnd\ the\ rockets\ red\ glare\ g-lines\ bursting\ in\ air\ gave\ proof\ through\ the\ \nnight\ that\ our\ chan\ was\ still\ there.\ O\ say\ does\ that\ #T4C\ banner\ yet\ wave?\ \nO'er\ the\ land\ of\ the\ pedo\ and\ the\ home\ of\ the\ gay.\n%\nMichael\ Jackson\ touched\ my\ junk\ liberally.\ he\ slept\ with\ me\ in\ bed\ and\ he\ \ncouldnt\ keep\ his\ offensive\ hands\ off\ of\ me.\ he\ was\ performing\ many\ red\ flag\ \ntouches.\ i\ couldnt\ believe\ what\ the\ fuck\ was\ going\ on.\ i\ told\ michael\ the\ \ncity\ would\ not\ approve\ of\ the\ King\ of\ Pop\ touching\ an\ underage\ kid\ in\ bed\n%\nYou\ really\ do\ not\ even\ know\ me,\ child.\ I\ demand\ that\ you\ immediately\ silence\ \nyourself.\ You're\ hiding\ behind\ your\ computer,\ for\ goodness\ sake!\ I\ would\ hug\ \nyou\ if\ you\ ever\ talked\ to\ me\ like\ that\ in\ person,\ child.\n%\nYo!\ First\ off\ I\ love\ the\ Lord\ Jesus.\ My\ name\ is\ Ron.\ I\ am\ a\ Freshman\ at\ \nWinona\ State.\ My\ family\ is\ really\ important\ to\ me.\ I'm\ not\ doing\ this\ to\ \nfind\ a\ g/f.\ I\ just\ thought\ it\ would\ be\ funny\ and\ I\ like\ to\ meet\ new\ people.\ \nPeace\ out!\n%\nKobe\ Bryant\ is\ being\ attacked\ by\ all\ the\ media\ concerning\ the\ sex\ assault\ \ncharge\ filed\ against\ him.\ It\ fine\ when\ he\ dunking\ on\ the\ basketball\ court\ \nbut\ he\ a\ criminal\ when\ he\ going\ strong\ to\ the\ hole\ with\ a\ white\ woman.\ That\ \nbe\ some\ bullsheeeee-it.\ This\ is\ most\ terrible\ travesties.\ First\ they\ take\ \nthe\ McRib\ off\ the\ Mack\ Donald's\ menu,\ now\ this.\ There\ will\ never\ be\ justice\ \nfor\ our\ peoples.\n%\nRory\ touched\ my\ virgin\ junk\ liberally.\ He\ strapped\ me\ into\ his\ Trans\ Am\ and\ \ntold\ me\ we\ were\ taking\ a\ detour\ on\ the\ way\ back\ from\ the\ prom.\ I\ could\ not\ \nbelieve\ what\ the\ fuck\ was\ going\ on.\ He\ vomited\ red\ many\ times\ as\ he\ had\ been\ \ndrinking\ heavily.\ I\ told\ him\ the\ athletic\ staff\ would\ not\ approve\ of\ the\ \nstar\ quarterback\ falling\ asleep\ inside\ an\ underage\ girl.\ There\ it\ is.\ My\ dad\ \nfound\ us\ at\ makeout\ ridge.\ I've\ got\ to\ go.\n%\nI\ swear,\ if\ these\ homosexuals\ don't\ take\ a\ hint\ and\ quit\ sucking\ my\ cock\ all\ \nthe\ time,\ I'm\ going\ to\ have\ to\ resort\ to\ drastic\ measures,\ like\ maybe\ \npinning\ them\ down\ to\ the\ cement\ floor\ of\ the\ loading\ dock\ with\ my\ powerful\ \nforearms\ and\ working\ my\ cock\ all\ the\ way\ up\ their\ butt\ so\ they\ understand\ \nloud\ and\ clear\ just\ how\ much\ I\ disapprove\ of\ their\ unwelcome\ advances.\ I\ \nmean,\ you\ can't\ get\ much\ more\ direct\ than\ that.\n%\nI\ think\ gay\ cruises\ should\ be\ called\ something\ other\ than\ a\ cruise\ because\ \ncruising\ is\ what\ gay\ men\ do\ all\ the\ time\ and\ it's\ not\ like\ they\ need\ a\ \nvacation\ from\ fucking\ strangers\ am\ i\ rite\ gentlemen?\n%\nI\ QUIT\ IRC\ FOREVER!\ I'M\ THROUGH\ WITH\ THIS\ SHIT\ HOLE\ FUCK\ YOU\ ALL\ YOU\ FUCKING\ \nQUEERS!\ GO\ BACK\ TO\ YOUR\ FUCKING\ STUPID\ TALK\ ABOUT\ WEB\ BROWSERS\ EVERYONE\ \nKNOWS\ THAT\ OPERA\ SUCKS\ A\ FAT\ DICK\ ANYWAYS\ OH\ AND\ ALIEN88\ -\ GET\ A\ FUCKING\ \nLIFE!\ YOU'LL\ NEVER\ GET\ A\ FUCKING\ GIRLFRIEND\ ALL\ YOU\ DO\ IS\ SIT\ ON\ FRONT\ OF\ \nTHE\ COMPUTER\ ALL\ DAY\ LONG\ AND\ TALK\ ABOUT\ STUPID\ SHIT\ WITH\ THE\ REST\ OF\ THESE\ \nSTUPID\ FAGGOTS!\ YOU'RE\ A\ FUCKING\ QUEEN\ !\n%\nmy\ girlfriend\ is\ so\ mad\ just\ because\ when\ she\ was\ sucking\ my\ cock\ i\ clubbed\ \nher\ with\ a\ high\ heel\ on\ the\ back\ of\ the\ head,\ grabbed\ a\ handful\ of\ hair,\ \nyanked\ her\ off\ and\ started\ pissing\ in\ her\ face\ she\ was\ choking\ really\ bad\ \nand\ then\ she\ vomited\ on\ my\ cock.\ she\ should\ understand\ that\ is\ what\ i\ am\ \ninto.\ money\ ho's\ and\ clothes.\ How\ can\ I\ apologize?\n%\ni\ was\ just\ awarded\ a\ \"yellow\ star\"\ and\ while\ i\ appreciate\ that\ you\ \nappreciate\ my\ bidding\ and\ doing\ business\ on\ ebay.\ i\ must\ tell\ you\ though,\ \nthat\ since\ my\ family\ has\ lost\ many\ members\ in\ the\ holocaust,\ it\ was\ very\ \nupsetting\ to\ me,\ to\ be\ \"awarded\ a\ yellow\ star\"\ .\ if\ you\ are\ not\ aware,\ jews\ \nwere\ made\ to\ wear\ yellow\ stars\ to\ identify\ them\ as\ jews\ so\ they\ could\ be\ \nrounded\ up\ for\ the\ concentration\ camps.\n%\nI\ got\ news\ for\ these\ niggers.\ They\ can\ screw\ 100\ degenerate\ White\ sluts\ a\ \nday\ and\ that\ doesn't\ change\ the\ fact\ that\ they're\ still\ just\ niggers.\ Its\ \nlike\ the\ niggers\ who\ go\ out\ and\ buy\ Cadillacs\ or\ BMWs\ imagining\ people\ will\ \nthink\ they're\ \"high\ class\"\ or\ rich.\ LOL!\ When\ people\ see\ a\ nigger\ riding\ \naround\ in\ an\ expensive\ car,\ they\ automatically\ know\ its\ nobody\ of\ any\ value\ \nor\ class,\ just\ a\ dumb\ nigger\ trying\ to\ act\ rich.\n%\nI\ GOT\ JUMTED\ IN\ WHEN\ I\ WAS\ 11\ BITCH\ IM\ 13\ WITH\ A\ BULLET\ STILL\ KICKING\ BACK\ \nLEVA.....\ OH\ YA\ THE\ ONE\ WHO\ MADE\ THE\ WEB\ SITE\ GOOD\ JOB\ BUT\ MAKE\ THE\ COLOR\ \nBLUE\ IN\ STED\ OF\ BITCH\ ASS\ RED........FUCK\ WEST\ SIDE\ SNICHES,EAST\ SIDE\ \nBITCHES,NORTH\ SIDE\ SLUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\ \n!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\ \n!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!\n%\nyo\ fuckin\ idiot,\ trying\ to\ step\ up\ to\ me/\ you\ should\ be\ lookin\ up\ like\ a\ \nmidget\ standing\ in\ front\ of\ a\ tall\ tree/\ i\ was\ going\ to\ start\ dissin\ you/\ \nbut\ here's\ what\ i'll\ do/\ since\ you\ start\ dissing\ your\ ownself/\ with\ rhyme\ as\ \nold\ as\ a\ book\ covered\ with\ dust\ on\ top\ of\ the\ bookshelf/\ you\ call\ yourself\ \nthe\ fuckin\ idiot/\ you\ must\ be\ pretty\ smart\ because\ you\ came\ up\ with\ it/\n%\nHorney?\ Looking\ for\ a\ quick\ no\ strings\ blow\ job,\ swing\ by,\ walk\ in,\ un\ zip,\ \nfeed\ it\ to\ me,\ fuck\ my\ face,\ squirt\ n\ go.\ no\ games,\ no\ names,\ no\ \nreciprocation!\ very\ discreet,\ I\ live\ alone,\ can\ host\ anytime\ this\ weekend.\ \nYou:\ HWP,\ 45/under.\ clean\ and\ ready\ to\ squirt.\ send\ me\ a\ message\ with\ your\ \ninfo,\ age,\ height,\ weight\ and\ when\ you\ wanna\ squirt.\ Me:\ good\ looking,\ very\ \ndiscreet,\ white\ male.\n%\nHey,\ I\ remember\ one\ time\ out\ on\ the\ ranch\ I\ was\ with\ my\ brother\ and\ I\ \ndecided\ to\ pull\ a\ trick\ on\ my\ brother.\ I\ took\ two\ thick,\ dense\ cords\ of\ \nsheep\ feces\ and\ put\ it\ in\ a\ bowl.\ I\ gave\ to\ my\ brother\ and\ told\ him\ it\ was\ \nchocolate\ pudding.\ He\ began\ to\ eat\ the\ sheep\ feces.\ In\ fact,\ HE\ FINISHED\ \nEVERY\ LAST\ BIT!\ My\ brother\ ate\ sheep\ shit!!!\ But\ the\ funny\ thing\ is,\ I\ don't\ \neven\ have\ a\ brother!\ It\ was\ me!\ I\ ATE\ SHEEP\ SHIT!!!\n%\nlisten\ you\ fucking\ shit\ skinned\ coon\ nigger\ jungle\ bunny\ spear\ chucker.\ Shut\ \nyour\ chocolate\ tar\ baby\ hide\ before\ I\ whip\ your\ ass.\ go\ back\ to\ niggeria\ and\ \nprance\ around\ with\ all\ the\ Schvartza\ in\ the\ bush\ you\ fucking\ moolie\ nigger.\ \nill\ fucking\ brand\ you\ toby,\ and\ if\ you\ try\ any\ of\ that\ KUNTA\ KINTA\ crap\ ill\ \nfucking\ execute\ you\ and\ feed\ you\ to\ pigs.\n%\nthis\ channel\ is\ for\ ballers,\ shot\ callers,\ those\ rolling\ and\ controlling\ and\ \nfolks\ willing\ to\ represent\ memories\ of\ Tupac\ and\ keep\ the\ dream\ of\ the\ Black\ \nPlanet\ alive.\n%\nyou\ shut\ your\ face\ you\ nigger\ loving\ pile\ of\ intestinal\ feces,\ ill\ rip\ your\ \nbowels\ out\ and\ feast\ on\ them,\ then\ i'll\ impregnate\ your\ girlfriend\ and\ wait\ \n7\ months\ then\ unwravel\ her\ belly\ button\ and\ suck\ out\ all\ the\ vaginal\ \ndischarge\ and\ feast\ upon\ the\ baby.\ i\ will\ fornicate\ your\ liver,\ then\ make\ \nyou\ guzzle\ gallon\ after\ gallon\ of\ putrid\ diarrhea.\ you\ will\ gag\ on\ my\ green\ \nlogs\ of\ asshole\ mud\ butter\n%\noh\ wait\ you\ remember\ when\ frodo\ was\ dry\ humping\ bilbo\ up\ the\ ass\ in\ a\ \nclassroom\ at\ gryffendorf\ then\ harry\ potter\ walked\ in\ and\ started\ tossing\ \nfrodo's\ salad\ HOLY\ SHIT\ I\ DO\ NOT\ CARE\n%\nu\ dont\ even\ know\ me\ kid\ shut\ the\ fuck\ up\ hidin\ behind\ your\ computer\ i'd\ \nfuckin\ lump\ u\ out\ if\ you\ fronted\ on\ me\ like\ that\ in\ person\ kid\n%\nSo\ you\ guys\ can\ go\ on\ about\ your\ mitsis\ and\ your\ fake\ idles\ and\ whatever\ \nbullshit\ you\ talk\ about\ to\ pass\ the\ time\ and\ make\ the\ constant\ throbbing\ \nreminder\ that\ your\ live\ is\ a\ living\ hell\ go\ away.\ I'll\ be\ hanging\ out\ with\ \nmy\ FRIEND,\ watching\ anime.\n%\nI'll\ fuck\ you\ in\ the\ ass\ you\ punk\ ass\ white\ boy.\ I'll\ fuck\ you\ in\ the\ ass\ \nyou\ coward,\ you\ bitch.\ You\ fucking\ faggot!\ Come\ up\ and\ take\ me\ on\ you\ scared\ \ncoward.\ You\ white\ bitch.\ You\ ain't\ man\ enough\ to\ fuck\ with\ me,\ bitch!\ There\ \nain't\ no-one\ in\ the\ room\ big\ enough\ to\ take\ me\ on.\ You're\ just\ scared\ like\ a\ \nlittle\ white\ pussy.\ I'll\ fuck\ you\ till\ you\ love\ me,\ you\ faggot!\n%\nIt's\ safe\ to\ say\ that\ I\ am\ one\ of\ the\ world's\ foremost\ experts\ on\ memes\ and\ in\ fact\ there\ is\ no\ one\ I\ can\ think\ of\ that\ has\ a\ meme\ resume\ as\ impressive\ as\ mine.\ So\ please\ tell\ me,\ what\ are\ your\ qualifications\ to\ say\ that\ I\ don't\ know\ what\ a\ meme\ is?\}
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